to someone i can't mention

you hold this close [[>>talk to him again]] [[>>eject memory|1]]

//the roar of the engine eight cylinders pounding heart machinery as an extension of flesh// [[hands gripping the wheel a little tighter|3]]

"most turns here are named after people" [[//(or things that happened to people)//|4]]

[[//think I’ll be one of those names?//|5]]

“how'd he get into them?" [[“i don’t know, man. he just likes ‘em, i guess? not that deep, i don’t think.”|2]] [["he says it’s"|2.5]]

“i don’t know, man. he just likes ‘em, i guess? not that deep, i don’t think.” [["oh."|1]]

"it's for him, i'm living for him. if he [[dies|6]],"

엄마가 돌아가셨을 때... 아빠는 모든 것을 잃었 //dad lost everything when mom died// he didn't have much when she was alive

wide-eyed earth who couldn't see

you hold him close he shakes a little more by trying not to [[listen]] [[leave him|1.5]]

“i don’t know, man. he just likes ‘em, i guess? not that deep, i don’t think.” [["oh."|1]]

//the roar of the engine// //eight cylinders pounding heart// //machinery as an extension// //of flesh// [[hands gripping the wheel a little tighter|3]]

hands gripping the wheel a little tighter "most turns here are named after people." [[//(or things that happened to people)//|4]]

(at the tip of the tongue vs what leaves) //think i’ll be one of those names?// "hey, when you're ready, i'll teach you [[how to make the turn, every time."|5]]

"it's for dad. i'm living for him. if he [[dies|6]],"

엄마가... 돌아가셨을 때... 아빠는 모든 것을 잃었. //dad lost everything when mom died// [[>>eject|7]]

dark brown eyes a smile i thought was below 50 degrees

you hold this close [[>>talk to him again]] [[>>eject memory|1]]

(text-colour:red)["i'll tell u what he's like. driving a little too fast, taking those turns recklessly, not too much, not so i could really say anything. he'd laugh it off if i ever did."] [["..."|8]] [["do you think he's—"|7.5]]

"i'm so lost. i'm sorry for this." [[say something]] [[leave him|1.5]]

they always ask you thinking you know him "how'd he get into cars?" [[“i don’t know, man. he just likes ‘em, i guess? not that deep, i don’t think.”|2]] "he says it’s" [[>>eject memory|2.5]]

1:47 am [[incoming call|9.5]]

(text-style:"blur")["we crashed. i put him in danger. i—"] (t8n-depart:"flicker")+(t8n-time:1.5s)[[...|10]]

(text-colour:red)["it's okay. it's okay. i'm fine. didn't even get a concussion. hey."] (text-style:"blur")["i put my friend in danger."] (text-colour:red)["but i'm fine."] [["is he gonna be ok tomorrow?|11]]

dark brown eyes a [[smile|12]] i thought was below 50 degrees

[[>>eject memory|13]]

patterned lines of sunlight on the walls sun through blinds shut in a drunken soporific haze eyes half empty (text-colour:red)["i'm gonna wake him up."] [["you sure?"|14]]

he falls and rises in gasping breaths (text-colour:red)["this time, you should stay."] [["i will."|15]]

you hold him close he shakes a little more by trying not to [[listen|16]] [[(don't) leave him|15.5]]

a hand gentle on your shoulder (text-colour:red)["this time, you should stay."] [["okay."|15]]

he accepts embrace in this silence of two years in this silence since the last he accepts the warmth

his [[voice|9]] broken on the line

(text-colour:red)["it doesn't matter what we think //or what we know.// he won't change anything."] [["..."|8]]

you have no words you don't know him well enough to have words so you [[leave him|1.5]]