[[Read before begining your day as apart of Jenny's system]]
You wake up feeling like you are stuck in a dream. The room around you feels familiar and foreign, a strange mix of comfort and unease. Sunlight streams through the window, casting long shadows on the floor. You squint and roll your eyes, trying to make them focus.
Today is important. You need to get to work and make up for missing a deadline yesterday. Your job as an editor at the local newspaper is on the line, and you can't afford another mistake.
But first, you need to figure out who you are this morning. The fog makes it hard to tell. Are you Jenny, the host? Or is someone else trying to come forward?
No matter what, you know what needs to happen:
Navigate through the day.
Handle the triggers that come your way.
Get through work without falling apart.
You've got this. You take a deep breath and try to ground yourself.
[[Get out of bed|Try]]
You push through the fog and the pain and get out of bed as best you can. Your feet touch the cool floor. The room is quiet, and your wax melts make it smell like watermelon. You use the scent to try and figure out who is in control, but it's not enough. Your mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. You know you need to focus and start your day.
[[Investigate the room|InvestigateRoom]]
[[Check the calendar|CheckCalendar]]
[[Call your friend Gwen|CallFriend]]
You look around the room. You notice a photograph on the side table. It feels like you haven't seen it in ages, but you know you saw it last night before bed.
[[Pick up the photograph|Photograph]]
[[Ignore it and get up|MorningRoutine]]You check the calendar on your phone. There's a notification about a missed deadline.
[[Feel anxious but try to calm down|Panic]]
[[Take a deep breath and plan the day|MorningRoutine]]
You call Gwen, your best female friend, hoping for some clarity.
You: "Hey, can you help me figure out who's out? I'm really fuzzy."
Gwen: "Hey sweetie. Take a breath for me okay?"
You take a deep breath and then another.
Gwen: "Is that better?"
You: "Yeah. Your voice and the breathing are bringing me back. Thanks."
She asks you a few more questions, like what your favorite color is and what kind of music you are drawn to.
You realize you woke up as Jenny today.
[[End the call and get ready|MorningRoutine]]
You pick up the photograph. It's from a trip you took when Zenny was out a few years ago. The memory feels distant. Like you can't remember much more than the photograph.
You realize you are Jenny and can feel Zenny pulling like she is trying to come forward.
[[Put the photograph down and get ready|ListenMusic]]
The fog in your mind still lingers, but you push through it and get on with your morning.
Bird songs can be heard through your open window.
[[Make breakfast|MakeBreakfast]]
[[Check emails|CheckEmails]]
[[Listen to music|ListenMusic]]
Your heart races as you think about the missed deadline. You feel a wave of anxiety washing over you. You don't want Lucy out, so you need to calm down.
[[Try to calm down and get ready|ListenMusic]]
You head to the kitchen and start making eggs. The familiar routine helps you feel more grounded.
[[Finish breakfast and get ready|ListenMusic]]
You open your laptop and start checking your emails. There's one from your boss about the missed deadline. You take a deep breath.
[[Respond to the email|RespondEmail]]
[[Ignore it for now and get ready|ListenMusic]]
You put on some music. Zenny's favorite song starts playing, and you feel her presence grow.
[[Embrace the music and let Zenny co-front|ZennyCoFront]]
[[Switch to a different song and focus on getting ready|GetReady]]
You finish your morning routine and prepare to leave the house.
You grab your coffee off the counter and pick up your keys.
[[Leave the house|LeaveHouse]]
You respond to your boss, apologizing for the missed deadline and promising to make up for it today.
You offer to get catering for the next meeting
[[Finish the email and get ready|ListenMusic]]
You let Zenny co-front with you. The music is soothing, and her presence makes you feel a bit more at ease.
[[Finish the music and get ready|GetReady]]
You head down the street and zone out. Just a block away, you realize you can't remember anything since leaving the house.
[[Finish your walk|BusStop]]
You arrive at the bus stop just in time. As you wait for the bus, you take out your phone and see a text from your boyfriend.
A family stands next to you, and their young daughter starts to cry. You can feel your face tingle and get the urge to tear up. You wonder why you feel so strongly, but then you realize it's likely just Lucy reacting, so you take a deep breath and try to calm her.
"It's okay Lucy. I need you to focus," you think internally, hoping she listens. There is no response, but your eyes stop welling up, and you know she is calmed down.
[[Check the message|CheckMessage]]
[[Daydream and lose track of time|ForgetYourMessage]]
You open the message. It's from your boyfriend, Jones.
Jones: "Good morning, baby or bestie. Just wanted to check in. Who's fronting this morning?"
[[Reply to Jones|ReplyToJones]]
You smile and type back.
You: "Hey, Babe. It's Jenny right now, but Zenny's been kicking around. Got any headmates playing peek-a-boo?"
A few moments pass before your phone buzzes.
Jones: "James and Sam are in the background, but Kiddo seems quiet. How's your morning been Babe?"
[[Continue the conversation|ContinueTexting]]
[[Get lost in the music|ZoneOut]]
You board the bus and find a seat.
You: "I'm okay. I'm just trying to get through the morning fog. I messed up. Zenny and Sam got distracted last night, and I missed my deadline."
Jones: "I'm glad you're hanging in there. Remember, you're not alone. We've got this. Let me know if you need anything today. I'm sure your boss will take it easy on you."
Reading his message, you feel a warm sense of comfort. Having Jones's support always makes things a bit easier.
You: "Thanks, Jones. I will. Have a good day at work, and say hi to James and Sam for me."
Jones: "They say hey. I love you."
You: "I love you too."
As the bus approaches your stop, you put your phone away, feeling more grounded and ready to face the day.
[[Get off the bus|GetOffBus]]
You step off the bus, take a deep breath of the fresh morning air, and say goodbye to the nasty funk on the bus.
[[Head to the office|Office]]
Outside the office door, you pause, feeling the stress of the day ahead pressing down on you. Zenny has been trying to quit smoking, but the craving is intense right now.
[[Stand outside and smoke a cigarette|Smoke]]
[[Enter the office|EnterOffice]]
You stand outside, taking a deep drag of your cigarette. The bitter smoke fills your lungs, momentarily calming the storm inside. The harshness of the smoke scratches your throat.
The cigarette burns down quickly, and you drop it, crushing it under your heel.
[[Finish the cigarette and enter the office|EnterOffice]]
You step into the office and are immediately greeted by your boss, Ms. Anderson. Her sharp eyes narrow at you, her lips a thin line of disapproval.
Ms. Anderson: "Jenny, we need to talk about that missed deadline."
You: "I understand, Ms. Anderson. I apologize, it won't happen again."
Ms. Anderson: "Make sure it doesn't. You know better than to miss deadlines and I expect after our talk this afternoon at 3pm you wont make it again. Get to work."
Her words cut through you, leaving you raw and exposed. Your heart races as you try to stay calm. You feel the presence of Lucy starting to stir, the anxiety rising.
[[Try to suppress Lucy and focus|Focus]]
[[Allow Lucy to take control and face the challenge|LucyFrontsAtWork]]
You get onto the bus and notice its quiet with music playing in the background.
[[Focus on the music|FocusOnTheMusic]]
[[Remember you have a text|CheckMessage]]It's Lucy's favorite song, Blind Melon's, "No Rain." You start to tap your foot.
[[Accidently Let Lucy Out|LucyFronts]] Your eyes go out of focus, and you start reliving happy moments since Jones has come into your life. You can feel everything as if it's happening to you in this very moment: the warm touch of his hand on your cheek when you first kissed, the hot air and cold water as you run through the sprinklers, and the echos of his laugh mixed with yours drown out everything else around you.
The bus comes to a hard stop, and your eyes start to focus again. You look down and remember what you were doing.
[[ContinueTexting]] Your brain starts to tingle, and you blink hard a few times. The sounds around you have amplified from calm to noisy and blinding. You try to listen to the music but can't hear it over the cars going by and the idle shuffles of those around you.
"I'm Lucy now," you think to yourself. Your heart rate jumps, and your skin starts to crawl. You scratch at your arms, and your breathing becomes rapid.
"Crap. I shouldn't be here. I need back in." You look around and notice you have messages on your phone. You think Jones can help.
[[Text Jones and ask for help|TextJones]]You open your message.
Jones: "Good morning, baby or bestie. Just wanted to check in. Who's fronting this morning?"
You: "Jonesy... Everything is so loud. I didn't mean to come out my song was playing and I just..."
You wait, your leg bouncing uncontrollably and chewing your nails to the quick.
Jones: "Oh, Lucy... I've got you, baby girl."
[["Can you come get me?"|ComeGetMe]]
[["I need to hear your voice."|ComeGetMe]]The phone rings, and you cringe at the sound.
You: "Jonesy!"
Jones: "Lucy, I care about you so, so much, and I know you are having a hard time right now. I need you to listen to me okay?"
You: "Okay."
Jones: "Close your eyes L and do you deep breathes. Jenny I need you. You gotta listen to my voice and pull through, Lucy needs to be protected and I can't do that from work."
The busy bus seems less busy, and your head starts to swim. Minutes pass.
Jones: "Jenny, baby. Can you hear me?"
You groan and rub your heads, your eyes lazily blinking.
You: "Thanks Jones. Today would not have gone well if Lucy was on her own out here."
Jones: "Anytime baby girl."
[[Say goodbye and get off the bus|GetOffBus]]You pause. Your head swirls, and thoughts race through your mind. The chaos is unbearable for a moment, and you tear up.
A few moments pass, and you shake your head and grip your blanket tight.
[[Get out of bed]] You take a deep breath and try to ground yourself.
You: "I promise, I'll make up for it today."
Ms. Anderson: "See that you do. We can't afford any more slip-ups. Remember, 3pm."
You nod and head to your desk, feeling the pressure mounting.
[[Start working on the article|WorkArticle]]
Your vision blurs momentarily and then sharpens as Lucy takes the front.
The office's noise and lights become overwhelming, each sound like a hammer, each light like a dagger. Lucy struggles to mask her anxiety as the sensory overload presses in. Her breathing quickens, and she feels her heart pounding in her chest.
You: "Ms. Anderson, I'm so, so sorry about the missed deadline. It won't happen again. Please don't fire us, we really need this job?"
Ms. Anderson looks taken aback but quickly recovers, her eyes hardening.
Ms. Anderson: "We?"
You: "Uh, I just mean my boyfriend and I have a lot of bills..."
Ms. Anderson: "Well, that's none of my concern. 3 pm Jenny. 3 pm.
Lucy nods, her internal chaos threatening to spill over as she walks to the desk, every step a battle to maintain her composure. She digs her nails into the soft part of her underarms, a desperate plea for Jenny screaming in her mind.
[[Switch back to Jenny and head to your desk|WorkArticle]]
You settle into your desk, the worn-out chair protesting with a familiar creak. The half-finished document demands your attention. The office hums with activity, a bustling hive that seems both distant and suffocating, isolating you in its midst.
You start tapping on the keyboard, each keystroke carrying a weight of its own. The document gradually fills up, and you find a rhythm in the physical act of typing. The work distracts you from the anxiety that's been nibbling at all of your parts.
[[Continue working|ContinueWorking]]
You've been working steadily for an hour when your phone buzzes. It's a message from Gwen, your only other source of calm in this storm outside of Jones' system.
Gwen: "Hey, how's it going?"
The screen's extra bright light feels harsh against your tired eyes, but her message brings a small comfort.
[[Stay focused on work|IgnoreMessage]]
[[Reply to Gwen and take a short break|ReplyGwen]]
You decide to ignore the message and keep working. 3 pm is too close to take a break now, even if every part of you is screaming for one.
The work blurs together as you force yourself to focus, each minute dragging by painfully slow.
[[Continue working until lunch|LunchBreak]]
You decide to take a short break and reply to Gwen.
You: "Hey, just trying to make up for my mess up. How are you?"
Gwen: "I'm good. Just wanted to check in. Remember to take care of yourself, okay?"
You: "I will. Thanks for looking out for me, G."
Feeling more relaxed, you start to get back to work, but before you put your phone away, Ms. Anderson walks past and shoots a disapproving glare.
Damn it, you think.
[[Continue working until lunch|LunchBreak]]
It's finally lunchtime, and you feel a sense of relief as you save your work. The morning has been productive, but you're mentally exhausted and nowhere near done. The office lunchroom is a drab, cold space that gets under your skin.
You stand with your food in hand, contemplating your choices.
[[Take a walk outside|WalkOutside]]
[[Eat lunch at your desk|LunchDesk]]
You decide to take a walk outside to clear your head. The city's noise feels less oppressive than the office's, and the fresh air and sweet taste of your yogurt and banana give you some peace.
As you walk, you think, "This feels nice. We should do this more often," hoping for clarification from the others, but you don't hear much of any response.
Despite starting to calm down, you wander around, trying to shake off the anxiety that clings to you like a Lucy-shaped shadow.
[[Return to the office|ReturnOffice]]
You decide to eat lunch at your desk, too focused on the work ahead, to take a proper break. Your yogurt and banana are tasteless, and the office noise grates on your nerves.
You find yourself in a constant battle, reminding yourself to breathe, 'I know, just so much to do.'
Each bite is a struggle, but you are determined to keep going.
[[Continue working after lunch|ReturnOffice]]You notice a new email from Ms. Anderson. The subject line alone makes your stomach drop.
Ms. Anderson: "Jenny, I need you to come to my office prior to 3pm to discuss an important matter."
Your heart skips a beat.
You think, "Don't panic. We've got this."
[[Go to Ms. Anderson's office|AndersonOffice]]
You knock on Ms. Anderson's door, and she beckons you inside.
Ms. Anderson: "Jenny, have a seat."
You sit down, trying to remain calm, but the chair is about to swallow you whole.
Ms. Anderson: "We've received some feedback about your recent articles. Some readers feel that the quality has been slipping."
You: "I... I didn't realize. I'll do better."
Ms. Anderson: "I know you will. But I need you to focus and deliver. We're counting on you."
You nod, feeling the weight of her words like a physical burden.
Ms. Anderson: "Given you are already here, I want you to know that I am struggling to figure out why I still employ you."
You: "I know I have slipped up a couple times recently, and given the feedback from readers I can see you why you would..."
Ms. Anderson: "I feel like you are hiding something from me Jenny. I don't like being lied to."
The oscillating fan hits you in the face, and your blood turns to ice. Do we tell her? Telling her has to have a better outcome than being fired. Right? You gulp and clear your throat, hoping the others will stand by your decision.
[[Tell Ms. Anderson about your diagnosis]]
[[Don't tell her]]
You: "I can explain. I have documentation to back up what I am about to tell you."
Ms. Anderson: "I'm not interested in excuses Jenny. Go back to work before I change my mind."
You: "I have OSDD. It's kind of like what they used to call multiple personality disorder."
She stops and stares at you. It looks like she is deep in thought for a moment when she slams her hands down on her desk, knocking over her little wire pen holder.
Ms. Anderson: "Great. I unwittingly hired a psycopath. Get out of my office before I have your job. Don't expect me to treat you any differently and I better always be talking to you if there really is more than one of you. People make up the craziest shit. Derek is going to finish your article. You go home and figure yourself out before work tomorrow. Now go!"
You flee the office, pretending to be unbothered by her response.
[[Go home]] You: "I've just been dealing with a lot outside of work lately. I promise I'll have it undercontrol immediately."
Ms. Anderson: "You better. I'm having Derek finish your article and you're going to go home and get your shit together before work tomorrow. Now go before I change my mind."
[[Go home]]You arrive home, utterly drained but filled with a profound sense of relief, grateful to be away from the clutches of Ms. Anderson and the rest of the world.
The apartment, though small, is a sanctuary, its familiar scent of your favorite candle and the gentle hum of the TV providing a soothing backdrop. Jones is in the living room, his face mirroring your own weariness.
Jones: "Hey, you made it through the day."
You: "Yeah, barely. I was almost fired. How was your day?"
Jones: "But you didn't though. You've got this babe. Your boss is a real witch anyway. Stuff for me was tough, had a few switches during work. Kiddo wanted to come out when things got too stressful. But nothing compared to yours by the sound of it."
You: "Unless there is anything you want to talk through can we just pretend today didn't happen?"
Jones: "You got it."
[[Spend time with Jones|SpendTimeWithJones]]
[[Prepare dinner together|PrepareDinner]]
Jones: "Let's just sit and try to relax for a bit."
You: "Sounds good to me."
You both collapse on the couch, the day's weight pressing down on you. The room is dim, and the light from the TV is flickering shadows that dance on the walls.
[[Relax and watch TV together|RelaxTV]]You and Jones decide to prepare dinner together. The familiar routine helps you both unwind. The kitchen is small and cluttered, but it feels safe.
Jones: "Let's make something simple tonight. How about pasta?"
You: "Sounds perfect."
The music swirls around the room, and you both dance, laugh, and hold each other until the pasta boils over and jumps you both.
[[Enjoy dinner together|EnjoyDinner]]
You both settle on the couch in front of the TV. The familiar show you picked helps drown out any internal background noise. The room is filled with the screen's soft glow.
Jones: "It's nice to just sit and watch something together."
You: "Yeah, it really is. We should try and make more time for this."
You both sit in comfortable silence, the day's stress slowly melting away until an ad for Kiddo's favorite cartoon pops on the TV.
Kiddo: "Jenny!!! I missed you."
He clings to your side and buries his head in your shoulder.
[[Spend time with Kiddo]]
You collapse into bed and take a big, deep breath.
Jones: "I love you baby girl."
You curl up next to him, thankful you don't have to sleep alone.
You: "Goodnight, babe. I love you too."
[[The End]]
You and Jones sit down to eat, the meal simple but comforting. The kitchen is filled with the warm aroma of food, a small respite from the day's chaos.
You: "This is nice. We should do this more often."
Jones: "Yeah, it's good to just have some time together."
You eat in comfortable silence, and the food provides a small comfort.
[[Prepare for bed|PrepareBed]]
[[Discuss future plans together|FuturePlans]]
Kiddo: "Can we color and watch cartoons?"
You smile, feeling a rare moment of peace.
You: "Of course, Kiddo."
You spend the evening coloring and watching cartoons, the simple joys bringing a sense of calm.
Kiddo falls asleep face down in his crayons, and you cover him with a blanket.
[[Prepare for bed|PrepareBedKiddo]]
After dinner, you and Jones stay at the table, the dishes still untouched. The conversation drifts to plans, giving you a sense of hope and direction.
Jones: "We should plan a weekend getaway. Just the two of us."
You: "That sounds amazing. We need a break from the back-to-back middle fingers everything keeps giving us."
Jones: "Let's make it happen. We'll find a nice, quiet place to disappear."
You both smile, and he boops you on the nose.
[[Prepare for bed with hope for the future|PrepareBedHope]]
Watermelon still fills the air as you slide into bed.
You: "What if we don't have the money to take a trip?"
Jones: "We will absolutely make it happen."
You: "How can you be so sure, huh?"
Jones: "Cause I'll do anything for you princess."
You: "I love you butthead. Get some sleep."
Jones: "But who's butthead am I?"
You laugh and slap him with your pillow.
You: "Mine now shut up and close your eyes."
He pulls you close and kisses you before rolling over and locking ankles with you.
Jones: "I love you too."
[[The End]]
Thank you for taking the time to experience Jenny+! This game was created to offer a glimpse into the daily life of someone living with Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD).
By playing this game, you've taken a step towards understanding the struggles and resilience of those with mental health conditions. Awareness and empathy are crucial in breaking down the stigma surrounding mental health. Your engagement with Jenny's story contributes to a broader conversation about mental health, support, and the importance of compassion.
Be an ally. Without Jenny and Jones's support, their daily lives would look a lot different, with cycles of internal destruction and a lack of hope.
We hope that Jenny's story has provided a small insight into the reality of living with OSDD. Every choice you made was a testament to the strength and courage it takes to face each day.
Thank you for joining Jenny on her journey. Your support and understanding make a difference.You step into your watermelon-scented bedroom and slip under the covers, wishing Jones was out so you didn't need to fall asleep alone. You toss and turn, thankful for your headmates giving you a break but still frustrated by the day.
[[The End]]Hi! My name is Nikayla Carrillo and this is Jenny+, a game that offers a glimpse into the life of someone living with Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD).
''Index of Terms:''
''OSDD (Other Specified Dissociative Disorder):'' A mental health condition characterized by dissociative symptoms that do not fit the criteria for other dissociative disorders. Individuals with OSDD may experience identity disruption much like what is seen with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). However, they may not suffer from blackouts to the same extent, but more often, they have grayouts where their memory is hazy or is experienced, like pictures or feelings.
''Alters (also known as parts):'' Different identity states or personality parts within an individual with OSDD. Alters may have their own distinct thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Fronting: The act of an alter taking control of the body and interacting with the outside world.
''Co-Fronting:'' When two or more alters share control of the body simultaneously.
''Trigger: ''An external stimulus that can cause an alter to front or influence the individual's mental state.
''Masking: ''The act of hiding one's true mental state or alters to appear "normal" in social situations.
''What is OSDD?''
Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) is a complex mental health condition that involves disruptions in memory, identity, consciousness, and perception. Unlike Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), where distinct identities or personality states are fully formed, individuals with OSDD may experience less distinct identity states or a lack of clear-cut alternate identities.
''How Does OSDD Develop?''
OSDD often develops as a coping mechanism in response to severe trauma during early childhood before their sense of self has fully developed. The disorder arises when a person dissociates from their experiences as a way to protect themselves from overwhelming distress. This dissociation can lead to the development of different identity states or alters.
''Misconceptions: People with OSDD Are Not Evil or Bad''
There is a harmful misconception that individuals with OSDD or other dissociative disorders are dangerous, evil, or bad. This could not be further from the truth. People with OSDD are often survivors of severe trauma who have developed unique ways to cope with their experiences. They are no more likely to be harmful or dangerous than anyone else.
Understanding and empathy are crucial in supporting those with OSDD. By playing Jenny+, you have stepped toward breaking down stigma and fostering a more compassionate world for everyone with mental health conditions.
''
Thank you for joining Jenny on her journey and participating in this important conversation.''
[[Start your day|Good Morning Us]]
↶↷Read before begining your day as apart of Jenny's system
You wake up feeling like you are stuck in a dream. The room around you feels familiar and foreign, a strange mix of comfort and unease. Sunlight streams through the window, casting long shadows on the floor. You squint and roll your eyes, trying to make them focus.
Today is important. You need to get to work and make up for missing a deadline yesterday. Your job as an editor at the local newspaper is on the line, and you can't afford another mistake.
But first, you need to figure out who you are this morning. The fog makes it hard to tell. Are you Jenny, the host? Or is someone else trying to come forward?
No matter what, you know what needs to happen:
Navigate through the day.
Handle the triggers that come your way.
Get through work without falling apart.
You've got this. You take a deep breath and try to ground yourself.
Get out of bed