1. By clicking the red button, you agree to forfeit your soul to the Button Overlords.
2. You must sacrifice one sock to the Dryer Gods every laundry day.
3. You are required to sing "I'm a Little Teapot" with full choreography whenever someone says "button".
4. You must refer to all squirrels as "Tree Ninjas" from this point forward.
5. You agree to always walk backwards on Tuesdays.
6. All your passwords must now include the phrase "ButtonLover4Ever".
7. You must attempt to communicate exclusively through interpretive dance every third Thursday of the month.
8. You agree to name your firstborn child "Button McClickerson".
9. You must end all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy" for the next year.
10. You hereby pledge allegiance to the United Federation of Buttons and promise to defend it against all threats, foreign and domestic.