Spirits and Teapots

Of Spirits and Teapots by Philippa Nyx [[Enter ->Enter]]

<img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_a_japanese_style_drawing_of_a_malevolent__29888d83-2163-4af8-903d-363e436b80f1_0.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> You offended the spirit by calling it an ‘impish, miniature goblin,’ and Jikinini is very sensitive about his height. [[ Why did I do such a stupid thing?]]

<img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_a_japanese_tradytional_style_drawing_of_m_2b05ce77-9413-44ef-af4c-3bd8e79e8fd5_1.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> You are a student at the Hakuhoan Tea Academy. For three long years, you’ve studied day and night to become a Tea Master like your mother, your grandmother, your great-grandmother, your great-grandmother… you get the drift. Your family owns a famous teashop in Hokkaido (for both spirits and humans). If you fail the exam, you will dishonor the family, and your mother will skin you alive. [[Oh, that's not good ->Enter]]

Because Jikinini called your tea worse than the horse's piss. [[What do you do now?]]

There is no way you can take the exam. You won’t even be able to distinguish between the Phoenix Oolong and the Iron Goddess of Mercy Oolong. The clock shows you have 58 minutes left. You are frantically running around the academy looking for your mentor, Mr. Taira, thinking you can beg him for a postponement. 48 minutes till the exam stats. You can’t find him, and the clock keeps ticking. 43 minutes. 42 minutes. You see the old master heading to the exam room. You rush towards him and try to speak, but no words come out of your mouth. Behind Mr. Taira, the Jikinini is laughing at you. He not only took away your sense of smell and taste, but also your ability to speak! <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_httpss.mj_.runjogz6mxpttu_httpss.mj_.runntq_cf1c9d46-48de-49f6-959f-f5fb0ac57683_0.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> The Jikinini swooshes past your mentor and stops before you. The evil spirit says: “If you’ll let me eat you in 20 years, I will give you back your taste.” [[Agree to be eaten in 20 years]] “If you’ll let me eat you in 15 years, I will give you back your taste and smell.” [[Agree to be eaten in 15 years]] “If you’ll let me eat you in 10 years, I will give you back your taste and smell and speech.” [[Agree to be eaten in 10 years]] Or you'll risk it... [[You do not want to be eaten at all]]

So what if you’ll be eaten by the Jikinini in 20 years? At least you'll get your taste back now. The spirit touches your mouth with its gross, bony hand, and for once, you are happy you still can’t smell anything—if you could, it would be the smell of foul, rotten flesh entering your nostrils. You still don’t feel confident but you decide you will take the exam. <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_httpss.mj_.runaccd8jxtloo_httpss.mj_.run5ba_a33c1d30-42ce-4a49-941d-54fc04d41c39_1.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> [[Check the results]]

So what if the Jikinini’ll eat you in 15 years? At least you'll get your taste and smell back. The spirit touches your mouth and your nose with its gross, bony hand, and you can smell the foul, rotten flesh on his arms. You still don’t feel confident but you decide you will take the exam. <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_httpss.mj_.runaccd8jxtloo_httpss.mj_.run5ba_a33c1d30-42ce-4a49-941d-54fc04d41c39_1.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> [[You check the results]]

So what if the Jikinini’ll eat you in 10 years? At least you'll get your taste and smell back. And you’ll be able to speak! The spirit touches your mouth and your nose with its gross, bony hand, and you can smell the foul, rotten flesh on his arms. You feel confident you will pass the exam. <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_httpss.mj_.runaccd8jxtloo_httpss.mj_.run5ba_a33c1d30-42ce-4a49-941d-54fc04d41c39_1.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> [[check the results]]

You still have 42 minutes before the exam starts. You suddenly recall your legendary great-great-great-grandmother’s magical abilities. She could cure any illness with a properly brewed tea, lift every jinx and every curse. Maybe you can ask her for help! You run like crazy to an old storage room, lock the door behind you, light a few incense sticks (that you just happen to be carrying around), and start praying. A tiny old lady spirit appears before you and asks what in the name of Buddha do you want. Apparently, your noble ancestor was playing mahjong with her spirit friends when she was summoned, AND she was winning! You tell her about the exam and Jikinini and ask for her help. Your great-great-great-grandmother says fine – she will give you your senses back if you can answer her question. <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_httpss.mj_.run4pu0evd9jce_a_japanease_style__3de8fad7-d6e8-4e8d-b604-20548197bb07.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> “What kind of tea will you serve the emperor?” she asks. You think about it for a moment, then answer: [[West Lake Longjing tea, it will give him patience]] [[The Jade Dew, Gyokuro, of course!]] [[Konacha, power to the people!]]

You want to serve Chinese tea to a Japanese emperor? That’s practically treason! You should give yourself an honorable death at once! You tell your great-great-great-grandmother's spirit Japan is now a democracy, and there is no emperor. The concept seems foreign to her, but… [[She let’s you pick again, because apparently you're har favurite great-great-great-grandchild ->You do not want to be eaten at all]]

Yes, that is a good, safe choice. Green tea was always popular amongst the aristocracy—your great-great-great-grandmother gives you a nod of approval. She conjures a tiny steaming hot kettle and pours thick, purple liquid into a small cup. “Drink, my child,” she says and laughs as she dissipates into a cloud of steam and nothing. [[You drink the concoction]]

Your great-great-great-grandmother calls you a bloody communist. Konacha is not even good enough for the peasants; better send all of it overseas to the white monkeys with their vaile tests. Great, on top of everything, you find out that your great- great-great-grandmother's spirit is a racist. [[She let’s you pick again, because apparently you're har favurite great-great-great-grandchild ->You do not want to be eaten at all]]

In one hour, you are about to take an exam to become a certified Tea Master. You are panicking because you know you will fail - the day before, a malevolent spirit, Jikinini, took away your sense of smell and taste. You are buried deep in a pile of stinky shit, and you don’t even have a shovel. <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_httpss.mj_.runaccd8jxtloo_httpss.mj_.run5ba_23dbaf14-5c1f-4806-8ae9-7e8359df01de_1.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> [[Wait, who am I, exactly?]] [[Why did Jikinini take away my sense of smell and taste? ]]

YOU FAILED! Without the sense of smell, the tea you brewed tasted differently for you and for the examiners. What you were drinking wasn't bad, but they... Their faces twisted in disgust, and you felt completely humiliated. Mr. Taira, your mentor, just shook his head with sadness. [[Turn back time to 42 minutes before the exam ->What do you do now?]] [[Turn back time to 60 minutes before the exam ->Enter]] [[Fast forward 20 years]]

You have spent 20 miserable years not being able to pass the exam. What’s worse, you’ve discovered that without the sense of smell, you could not enjoy your favorite food as much as before. You’ve lost appetite for tamagoyaki, takoyaki, and ramen. And then he came for you, just as promised. And he ate you. Your last thought on this Earth was that you hoped you tasted better than all the ash-like dishes you had to consume over the past 20 years. <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_a_japanese_style_drawing_of_a_malevolent_sp_b713b3e0-b563-469d-9cbd-03ed3021834d.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> [[Wait, this can't be the end! I demand a second chance! ->What do you do now?]] [[I accept my fate ]]

You become a melancholy spirit, obsessed with brewing a perfect cup of tea (for eternity) <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_httpss.mj_.run4vitljfrahe_httpss.mj_.runacc_cf076da6-ceb9-444d-a7af-e7d0669544cd_2.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> ''THE END''

YOU FAILED! You should have remembered the exam had an oral part as well as the practical part. The tea you brewed was great n’all, Mr. Taira praised you, and you felt proud of your achievement, but you still failed. [[Turn back time to 42 minutes before the exam ->What do you do now?]] [[Turn back time to 60 minutes before the exam ->Enter]] [[Fast forward 15 years]]

Life wasn’t so bad. You learned sign language and, with the help of a translator, passed the exam. For 15 years, you worked at your family’s teashop. You forgot all about the Jikinini. But he didn’t forget about you. He came when you least expected him, and he ate you. <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_a_japanese_style_drawing_of_a_malevolent_sp_b713b3e0-b563-469d-9cbd-03ed3021834d.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> [[Wait, this can't be the end! I demand a second chance! ->What do you do now?]] [[I accept my fate ]]

YOU PASSED! The road to fame and glory is open to you now. You will undoubtedly become the best tea mistress this world has ever seen—that is if you can make it work in 10 years… [[Fast forward 10 years]]

Life is great! You have a million followers online who love your tea making tutorial videos. You opened five new branches of your family's teashop, one of them in Tokyo and one of them in New York. You are living the dream. Until… The Jikinini comes for you and eats you. <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_a_japanese_style_drawing_of_a_malevolent_sp_b713b3e0-b563-469d-9cbd-03ed3021834d.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> [[Wait, this can't be the end! I demand a second chance! ->What do you do now?]] [[I accept my fate ]]

You're senses come back instantly. You feel confident you will pass the exam. <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_httpss.mj_.runaccd8jxtloo_httpss.mj_.run5ba_a33c1d30-42ce-4a49-941d-54fc04d41c39_1.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> [[Do you want to check the results?]]

YOU FAILED! Talking to your great-great-great-grandmother took too much time, and you were late. [[This isn't fair!]]

We know. Life's a bitch, and then you die. [[Can I retake the exam?]] [[I've had it with this exam, I'll prove my worth in another way]]

Why yes, of course, you can, and you do retake the exam. This time, you pass with flying colors, although the Jikinini is flying over the examiners' heads the entire time, mocking you and showing you his three middle fingers. After the exam, you decide that enough is enough. You tell your family you will not work in the teashop or brew tea anymore; you plan to become a samurai shaman and slay the Jikinini and any other malevolent spirit that will be dumb enough to bother the people of Hokkaido. You become a hero. <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_a_drawing_of_a_teenage_japanease_person_w_8345c762-7eda-45b8-b40a-c54613400af4_0.png?w=771" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> [[But then one day...]]

You face a spirit that is just too strong, and it defeats you. <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_a_japanese_style_drawing_of_a_malevolent__f8ac9f1c-50c3-4e62-a7d3-6c14413d5432_2.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> [[Wait what? I demand a second chance! ->What do you do now?]] [[I died a hero!]]

Right you are! Good job! ''THE END''

You don’t have a diploma to hang on the wall, but you’ve got grit and an amazing talent for brewing tea. At first, it is difficult for your family to accept your decision, but as time passes, you get a reputation for making the best matcha in the region, and they stop nagging you. You become famous. Celebrities from all over the world fly to Hokkaido to taste your tea—even Dua Lipa, Megan Thee Stallion, and the president of the Philippines. You make a lot of money, buy yourself a lot of expensive kimonos, and spend your vacations in Kyoto. You live to be 93. You die with a smile on your face. <img src="https://philippanyx.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/adastraperaliaporci_httpss.mj_.run4pu0evd9jce_a_japanease_styl_d6092ae5-40e8-454e-b8e3-6de838417e36_1.png?w=1024" style="width: 50%; height: 50%;"> ''THE END''