Occult Defence Agency Budgeting Simulator
"Sacrifices must be made!"
The minister, who was previously in charge of education, and before that, of health, and who is now heading occult affairs after the most recent cabinet reshuffle, having once again failed to unseat the prime minister, shakes your hand. His skin is damp and oddly yielding. You relax when you realize he doesn't mean human sacrifices. He just wants to reduce your organisation's budget, he explains. By twenty percent. Effective immediately.
Your organisation is in charge of defending the United Kingdom from paranormal threats. Vampire covens, stray werewolves, pixie swarms, cultists with funny robes and impractical daggers, unlicensed hauntings, and more obscure matters. Also, to liaise with sister organisations as part of the EUROCC framework - except maybe not anymore, as no one can agree on whether EUROCC, which predates the EU, is affected by Brexit - and to render occult aid and advice to the government - as if they'd ever listen.
Your predecessor, in charge for over twenty years, finally retired last year, got his life peerage, and is now spending most of his time with ducks. He left behind a sprawling agency and very little documentation as to which parts are vital to the defence of the realm, and which parts are the hobby-horses of an eccentric Oxfordian.
Well, you're just going to have to find out. Start cutting.
Budget Allocation
Information Gathering
Scrying12
Psychic HotlineReducedFull
Crystal balls and the flight of birds can supposedly predict approaching calamities.
Media Monitoring20
EliminatedReducedFull
Local newspapers, Twitter accounts, YouTube channels, and church newsletters can offer important clues to what's brewing.
Graveyard Patrol15
EliminatedReducedFull
Are the graves disturbed? Is there a surfeit of black roses on an ancient tomb? Howling? Spectral figures? It's good to know.
Cult Observation34
EliminatedReducedFull
At any given time, there are dozens of small, secretive cults operating in the country. What are they up to?
Operations
Occult Incidents Response Team50
MinimalReducedFull
These are the men and women on the front line of occult defence. They are the ones who will rush in, guns and crucifixes raised, to save the day. Most take early retirement.
Werewolf Holding Cells18
EliminatedReducedFull
Specially reinforced cells for werewolves to sleep off their lunar affliction, rather than rampaging through the neighbourhood.
Pixie Antivenom Program21
EliminatedReducedFull
Most varieties of the English Pixie turn out to be quite venomous and fond of biting agency operatives and the occasional member of the public.
Research
Pixie Research Division26
EliminatedReducedFull
The study of the various species of the English Pixie was of particular interest to the previous agency head.
Vampire Research Division29
EliminatedReducedFull
Do vampires need to breathe? What strain of garlic works best to fend them off? Is the blood truly the life?
Werewolf Research Division17
EliminatedReducedFull
Can werewolf transformation be induced with moon rocks? Do the tides matter? Is there a better option for managing the condition than getting thoroughly drunk the day before and hope you sleep through it?
Cult Research Division13
EliminatedReducedFull
Most cults are fads. Bored suburbanites dressing up in robes and chanting. But occasionally, one of them might come across something with actual power.
Ghost Research Division12
EliminatedReducedFull
The office of the Ghostfinder General was folded into the agency more than a century ago. The modern haunting licensing scheme works pretty well for ordinary ghosts, but there's the occasional abnormal one that elicits an interest.
Stellar Conjunction Research Division18
EliminatedReducedFull
Stellar Conjunction Research is the proper name for what amateurs call astrology. Any number of ancient traditions state that by observing the heavens, events on earth can be foreseen. Stellar Conjunction Research is the modern, rigorous, statistical approach to this idea.
Rare Books Collection33
SellMaintainExpand
A vast and semi-organised library of occult volumes accumulated by the previous head at great cost.
Relations
Pixie Relations14
EliminatedReducedFull
Keeping tabs on the numerous tribes of small toothy creatures hiding in the woods.
Vampire Relations18
EliminatedReducedFull
A discreet backchannel to the UK vampire community.
Werewolf Relations13
EliminatedReducedFull
There's werewolves all over the country. What are they up to?
Church of England Relations7
EliminatedReducedFull
There's some overlap between the mandate of the church and your agency.
International Relations15
EliminatedReducedFull
As part of the EUROCC framework, proactive information-sharing is mandated for all member organisations.
Branch Offices
North Branch Office26
EliminatedReducedFull
Located in Hartlepool for some reason.
Midlands Branch Office29
EliminatedReducedFull
On the outskirts of Huddersfield, with easy access to the M62.
South Branch Office41
EliminatedReducedFull
The beauty of the Blackdown Hills is undeniable, and so is the lack of public transport.
Staff
Staff Doctor10
EliminatedReducedFull
Dealing with the occult can leave some very odd and specific bruises and incomprehensible internal injuries. This specialist doctor is experienced with dealing with them.
Staff Exorcist8
EliminatedReducedFull
Responsible for dealing with any supernatural ailments that might befall members of the organisation.
Admin Staff37
MinimalReducedFull
Someone has to file all the paperwork, pay the bills, reply to emails, order more printer paper.
Cleaning and De-Cursing Staff17
ExternalReducedFull
Keeping the floors clean and unhexed.
Counseling and Theology Services17
EliminatedReducedFull
Work in the agency can lead to some unusual types of trauma, and some urgent questions about the nature of the world.
Misc
Staff Canteen17
EliminatedReducedFull
Agency staff need to eat food and ingest liquids.
Office Christmas Party7
EliminatedBYOMPBig Party
The social event of the year, not that that's saying much.
Yearly Research Retreat22
In-HouseConferenceGrand Gathering
Intended to get researchers from different departments to talk to each other. Traditionally held in the week of Walpurgisnacht, though the details of the retreat have changed considerably.
Skill-Share Seminars5
EliminatedMonthlyWeekly
Internal seminars every Friday to get everyone caught up. You instituted this policy when you were made head last year.
Travel Expenses23
Strict LimitsSavings ProgrammeAll Paid
Your agents frequently need to travel to haunted mansions, incident sites, and creepy little villages in the middle of nowhere.