Balls of Cerberus

[[Notty Besott]] moaned with pleasure as [[Therban Kemormos]] buried his face in her cavernous cleavage, his teeth closing on the [[amulet]] nestled against her breastbone, his hot breath blowing on her sweaty flesh, and Notty... (text-colour:magenta)[[[lay back and spread her shapely legs]]] (text-colour:red)[[[karate chopped him in the neck]]] (text-colour:orange)[[[grabbed his throbbing dick]]]

Top agent with S.N.A.T.C.H. (Sorcery Network Advocating Thievery, Criminality and Hellraising) [[1<-Continue]]

Known as “Enormous Kemormos” by a gaggle of admiring women who had dated him in the past. Although he was an agent with S.T.E.A.L. (Sorcerer Thieves Engaged in Amoral Lawlessness), a rival to S.N.A.T.C.H., he had urged Notty to team up with him on this mission for their mutual benefit. [[1<-Continue]]

A lavender tetrahedronal witchstone with a moss-green cat’s-eye in the center. [[1<-Continue]]

hoping he would shift his focus lower, but instead he bit down on the amulet and jerked his head backward, snapping the chain. He clutched the amulet in his hand and climbed off of her, grinning. “Your power is mine!” he cried, and pressed the amulet against [[the one]] hanging from his own neck. [[why you dirty<-Continue]]

THWUMP “Uhh!” He collapsed in front of her and she scrambled to her feet, glowering. *What a dunce! Trying the old nip-nab trick to steal my amulet! Did he honestly think I’d ever trust him again after that business in Deddinberg?* [[she glanced<-Continue]]

(set: $clay to 1) As her fingers curled around his beef jerky he moaned with delight, anticipating yet another display of her superb sexual skills. Instead she squeezed his dong as hard as she could and jerked it sideways. SNAP! It broke off! “Oww!” he howled. “I knew it!” she crowed, her suspicions confirmed; his dick wasn’t flesh and blood, but warloclay. She jumped to her feet, tossing the pottery penis aside. Growling, he made a grab for her. She kicked him in the forehead. CRUNCHACKLE! It shattered, revealing an empty interior, except for a small crystal embedded in the back of his skull that filled the cavity with a soft reddish-gold glow, proof positive he wasn’t human but a golem, an artificial man created by dark magic, almost invincible – except for his wiener weak spot. [[he rose<-Continue]]

An onyx embossed with a pitchfork in 13-karat gold. [[why you dirty<-Continue]]

“Why you dirty...” She never got to finish the sentence, as he thrust his left arm out in front of him and fired a beam of black “evilight” from a midnight-blue wizardstone ring on his middle finger. The deadly ray sucked the energy out of her like a blotter soaking up ink and she crumpled onto the altar stone, her body turning a ghastly shade of gray, her flesh crinkling like a raisin as the solid-gold thirteen-foot-tall statue of [[Hades]] stared down at her with its cold, merciless gaze. [[1<-Try again]]

Greek god of the dead and king of the underworld, who guards his domain with a two-pronged pitchfork and his faithful tripleheader dog, Cerberus. [[1<-Try again]]

She glanced up at the solid-gold thirteen-foot-high statue of [[hades2<-Hades]] looming above her, then quickly donned her black lace panties, wriggled into her gargoyle-leather jumpsuit and shoved her feet into her dragon-hide boots before bowing to the statue and heading for the archway behind it, where skeletons of other treasure hunters were piled high in front of a door made of cobalt-blue stone inlaid with a mosaic depicting mythological characters linked to Hades: [[linked to hades<-Continue]]

Greek god of the dead and king of the underworld, who guards his domain with a two-pronged pitchfork and his faithful tripleheader dog, Cerberus. [[she glanced<-Continue]]

(text-colour:cyan)[[[Sisyphus]]] (rolling his giant boulder up a hill), (text-colour:yellow)[[[Persephone]]] (clutching a sheaf of grain), (text-colour:#b078e8)[[[Dionysus]]] (taking a swig from a jug of wine), (text-colour:lime)[[[Pirithous]]] (riding on the back of a centaur). [[these were not mere<-Continue]]

King of Corinth who angered Hades and the other Greek gods by cheating death twice. As punishment, they dragged him back to the Underworld and forced him to roll a giant boulder up a hill until it neared the top, when it rolled back down to the bottom and he had to start over again ... for all eternity. [[linked to hades<-Continue]]

Queen of the underworld [[linked to hades<-Continue]]

God of booze [[linked to hades<-Continue]]

King of the [[Lapiths]], who won a drunken brawl that broke out between them and the centaurs at Pirithous’ wedding. [[linked to hades<-Continue]]

These were not mere decorations; a tile in the center of each figure was actually a button, and if the buttons were pressed in the proper order a hidden mechanism activated, opening the door. Ah, but which buttons to press, in what order? That was the tricky part; one mistake would proof fatal. She reached into the “V” in the front of her suit and touched the amulet nestled between her massive breasts, rubbing it with her thumb as she shut her eyes and muttered a Decoding Spell. Images flitted across the inside of her eyelids, showing the proper sequence for unlocking the door. But scrying was an art, not a science, and there was always a chance her vision might be erroneous. If so, she would add her bones to the pile on the floor. [[she took a deep breath<-Continue]]

A Greek tribe descended from the god Aeolus. [[linked to hades<-Continue]]

She took a deep breath and began pushing tiles with trembling fingers. [[Persephone / Centaur / Sisyphus]] [[Pirithous / Sisyphus / Dionysus]] [[Centaur / Dionysus / Persephone]]

HISSS! Poison gas spewed from the centaur’s anus and Notty clapped a hand over her nose and mouth, spun around, took a couple of steps ... and fell into eternity. [[she took a deep breath<-Try again]]

TWING! TWING! TWING! Poisoned darts shot out of the sheaf of grain in Persephone’s hand, pincushioning Notty. She winced with pain, but her face soon settled into the calm countenance of eternal oblivion. [[she took a deep breath<-Try again]]

CLICK! SCRESSSH! RUMMMBULLL! The wall slid to the side, revealing a low passageway. Notty touched her glowstone necklace and light sprang forth, banishing the darkness. GASP! There it was, the legendary “Doghouse,” a pyramid-shaped chamber – about twelve feet high with a fifteen-foot-wide base – made of some sort of blood-red crystal that glistened in the light. She entered the chamber, feeling like she was stepping into a giant ruby, and gaped at the six-foot-high shamrock-green gnomestone statue depicting Cerberus, Hades’ monstrous three-headed dog. *Found it! At last!* She came closer, her heart filled with joy and triumph. All she had to do was snatch the three glass balls clutched in the dog’s mouths and take them back to... She stopped short. “Oh shit!” [[only one ball<-Continue]]

He rose unsteadily to his feet and lurched toward her, arms outstretched, fingers curled into claws, as his left cheek fell away and one eyeball tumbled out of its cracked socket. She grasped her amulet and backpedaled, speaking a discombobulating spell as fast as her lips could form the words. The amulet responded with streamers of coruscating silver and garnet light that wrapped around his body, brightening and tightening. Fissures webbed his chest and his sculpted abs fell away, shattering on the floor. His shins snapped, his knees hitting the flagstones and crumbling, his thighs splitting up the middle. He toppled over and his torso burst into a dozen pieces, his head rolling free and smacking into the base of the altar as the reddish-gold glow flickered, faded and died. [[she glanced<-Continue]]

Only one ball! The other two mouths contained nothing but fangs and lolling tongues ... No, not tongues, pieces of parchment. She grabbed one of them and unfolded it. A handwritten note. In Latin. Her translation spell revealed the message: “Fetch! Fetch!” Growling, she crumpled the note, hurled it to the floor and grabbed the second “tongue.” This one was written in Atlantean. Same message. “Those fucking assholes,” she snarled. “Why do they always steal the stuff *I* want to steal?” [[fucking assholes<-Continue]]

She was referring to The Artifactians, a mysterious group that travels throughout the known galaxies, absconding with priceless artifacts and leaving them at new locations for unknown reasons. Some say the Artifactians are an advanced civilization from beyond the stars, creating treasure hunts to test the intelligence of other species. Some suggest they’re a religious order carrying out the whimsical wishes of an alien god. Still others theorize they’re just bored archaeology students with too much time on their hands who like to pull pranks for the hell of it. (if: $clay is 1)[[oh well2<-Continue]] (if: $clay is 0)[[oh well<-Continue]]

*Oh well, at least I have ONE ball – and a leg up on the competition.* She shoved her fingers deep into the dog’s middle mouth, seized the ball and took it out, holding it close to her face to scrutinize every detail. The glass had a slightly cerulean tinge. Indentations in the surface perfectly matched the dog’s fangs. An acorn-sized ruby in the sphere’s center was carved in the shape of a devil’s head. As Notty peered at the ruby its eyes gave off silvery sparks of light, just for an instant, and she cried out and nearly dropped the ball – then laughed at her jumpiness. *Just a trick of the light. Nothing more.* She slipped the ball into a pocket of her jumpsuit, zipped it shut, crossed the room and stepped into the outer chamber, eyeing Therban’s unconscious form. He’d planned to kill her; she’d seen it in his eyes. She should finish him off. He deserved it for such a betrayal. But kill a helpless man? That wasn’t her style. On the other hand... She drew her [[pistol,]] pondering.

A Colt .45 Model 1911 blue-steel automatic with walnut checkered grips. (text-colour:red)[[[Shoot the bastard]]] (text-colour:#b5aba1)[[[Forget the gun. Use your amulet to turn him into a rat.]]]

(set: $TurnIntoRat to 0) BANG! BANG! Two bullets drilled into the side of Therban’s head, tunneling through his brain, punching through the far side of his skull, striking the floor, gouging the stone. And Notty felt a pang of regret; she hated damaging an archaeological site, even slightly, and tried to avoid it whenever possible. [[heaving a sigh<-Continue]]

Warning: If you use sufficient magical energy to transform a human adult male into a rat, you will deplete the amulet’s strength by sixty-four percent and recharging might take one to seven days, depending on the moon phase. Are you sure you want to proceed? [[Do it!]] [[Shoot the bastard<-Better play it safe and shoot him]]

(set: $TurnIntoRat to 1) VEFFAVOOSH! Cinnamon-colored light shot out of her amulet, bathing the unconscious form of Therban Kemormos. Within seconds he would begin to shrink as coarse gray hairs sprouted all over his body... *Uh ... why isn’t he shrinking and sprouting? Come on, magic, I don’t have all day! ... He’s just lying there, unchanged. What the hell?... Oh shit! I know what’s wrong. Therban Kemormos can’t change into a rat because he already IS a rat! A no-good, double-crossing, lying sack-of-shit rat-fink asshole! A rat in spirit, a human in shape! ... Or maybe he’s a Rodentaurian.* She gazed forlornly at her amulet. Over half the facets had gone dark, the magic squandered. She couldn’t afford any more blunders. She raised her pistol and pulled the trigger twice, firing two bullets into Therban’s head. [[heaving a sigh<-Continue]]

Heaving a sigh, she headed for the exit. She had to track down the second ball before someone else got their hands on it. Her Search Spell soon gave her a glimpse of the second ball’s location, and if that Vision was accurate she would find it in... (text-colour:black)+(bg:(gradient: 0, 0,#e619e5,0.3303,#19e5e6,0.6707,#e5e619,0.9172,#e61919))[[[The La Kinka nightclub in Dredfulia, Realm 3]]] (text-colour:lime)[[The Petallos flower gardens in Croxbruth, Realm 4]]

Three lads wearing [[dog heads]] and chrome-spiked black leather collars – and nothing else – pranced in a circle around the stage, their hard dicks wagging back and forth like metronomes as Sluudd music blasted from the speakers and strobe lights flashed frenetically in lurid red, blue and yellow hues. Three cyan-skinned, triple-titted Venusian women in dominatrix outfits made of fake harpy leather held the lads’ leashes in one hand and cat-o-nine-tails in the other, cracking the pink lace lashes over the boys’ backsides in time to the beat and the claps of the crowd. [[la kinka2<-Continue]]

She made good time in her Astral-Martin Quantum-Cab interdimensional bubble-car, hitting the Number Four realm-ramp on the first try, and landed on the outskirts of the gardens around midnight, local time. Tapping a button on her fob, she adjusted the prismatic settings in the bubble-car’s shell to deflect light – rendering the craft nearly invisible – then walked over to the garden gate. Locked at this time of night, but she picked it easily and entered, her mind briefly drifting back to a fond memory of her last visit to a flower garden. (text-colour:red)[[Wallow in a lurid and irrelevant sex scene]] [[return to story<-Skip the gratuitous sleaze and get on with the mission]]

She was celebrating her high school graduation with her classmates at the home of Phelbus Bromm, whose father was a kitchen magnate and thus could afford a fancy five-bedroom house in the tony Falutin Hills neighborhood of Twiffordshire. But all the bedrooms were occupied by horny couples, so Biff Duffle took her out for a stroll in the garden, where exotic flowers like Mercurian orkalloes and Plutonian tetunios mingled with roses, orchids and other domestic blooms. Biff said he just wanted to look at all the pretty colors, but you can’t see colors under moonlight so they quickly dispensed with that bullshit and got down to business. [[biff knew nothing<-Continue]]

Notty touched her necklace to awaken the glowstone crystals, then entered the gardens. Despite her sense of urgency she slowed to a stroll so she could admire the luxuriant and exotic flowers and inhale their intoxicating fragrances. Soon the dowsing spell in her amulet indicated the Cerberus Ball was just ahead and she quickened her pace. There! Between a cluster of affadirls and a row of grypanthemums sat a small, scraggly bush – out of place in such a well-tended garden. She pulled a spade with a collapsible handle from a pocket of her jumpsuit, unfolded it, bent down and shoved it into the ground. SPUSHHHOOOMM! The earth erupted all around her and six hideous things shot up, humanoid figures sprouting from the soil like gigantic weeds – creatures with rotting flesh, shriveled eyes and tattered clothes mottled with moss. And God, what a stench! Zombies! The undead fiends shuffled toward her, arms outstretched, bony fingers flexing. (if: $TurnIntoRat is 1)[[zombies kill you<-Continue]] (if: $TurnIntoRat is 0)[[killzombies<-Continue]]

Biff knew nothing about foreplay – he thought it was a golf term – so Notty diddled herself while he fumbled with his shoelaces and struggled to shuck off his too-tight blue jeans. When he finally stood naked before her, the merciful moonlight refrained from revealing the imperfections of his body and Notty thought he looked like a Greek god – or maybe it was the booze and her vivid imagination fueling her observations. He climbed between her spread legs and tried to insert himself, but he didn’t realize he had to grab his dick and bend it down to the proper angle for entry, so she did the honors. He shoved his stamen into her pistil and gave a few thrusts – accidentally pulling out after each one, so she had to guide him back in – and then blooey, it was over, his seed erupting into her furry furrow as he groaned and collapsed on top of her. *That’s it, huh?* she thought – but out loud she said, “Oh Biff, that was swell!” It wasn’t the first time she’d lied to a guy. And it wouldn’t be the last. But at least she’d gotten her cherry popped and could now apply for admission to the Salisbury Sorcery School, which did not accept virgins. [[return to story<-Return to story]]

Who do you think you are, Mary Poppins? Consider yourself dead. [[zombie-killing spell<-Try again]]

Correct spell! Commence to zapping zombies. [[zushazzzz<-Continue]]

(text-rotate-z:15)[= (text-colour:green)[[“Zawth-trawth-magotawth”]] (text-colour:green)[[“Tuciteca-elroto-estardo-vrum”]] (text-colour:green)[[“Chim-Chim-Cher-ee”]]

Wrong spell! You have just started the engine on every Toro lawnmower in rural Connecticut. Lots of good that’ll do you. Consider yourself dead. [[zombie-killing spell<-Try again]]

ZUSHAZZZZ! FOSH! GRUSTLE! The zombies stopped short, swaying back and forth and hissing with fury and dismay as the air filled with the stench from their maggot-infested lungs. They staggered, stumbled, collided with each other, fell down, their chests splitting open, maggots spewing out and writhing on the grass as the undead’s heads burst like sledgehammered watermelons and melting brain matter oozed into the soil. Panting hard, Notty straightened up, fighting the nausea roiling her stomach. The sensation passed quickly and she resumed digging. TUNK! She hit something. Set down her spade. Stuck her fingers into the dirt and touched a round object. She curled her fingers around it and pulled it out. The second Cerberus Ball! Almost identical to the first, except the devil in the center was carved from an emerald, not a ruby. She put the prize into a pocket and... VOPFF! A glowing blue oval, about fifteen feet in diameter, materialized in the star-dusted sky and a silvery saucer craft descended out of it. The oval flickered, then broke up into crinkly wisps that vanished moments later, like a smoke ring caught in a gust of wind. [[the saucer lowered<-Continue]]

The saucer lowered four metal legs as it neared the ground, then landed with a soft thud, mashing a row of pansies. A door in the front of the craft slid up and a shaft of grayish light spilled out. Notty extinguished her glowstone necklace and crouched down, watching in trepidation as a short ramp extended from the doorway and a [[Jupiterron]] clad in a red loincloth appeared.

Eight feet tall, with dark purple skin and huge, lumpy muscles and a bald head shaped like an inverted pear, with two periwinkle eyes set into a bulging and bony brow. [[he held two<-Continue]]

He held two long poles attached to the front of a magenta sedan chair covered with golden scrollwork. Another Jupiterron brought up the rear, and together they carried the chair down the ramp, turned it ninety degrees and set it on the grass. A scarlet silk curtain over the chair’s window parted and a passenger poked his head out. Seated on pillows of golden silk, he was a hefty man of middle age with a bland face and wore a white kimono decorated with blue lotus blossoms. The kimono hung loosely and was sloppily sashed, the gaping “V” neck revealing too much of a blubbery, hairy chest draped by six copper chains ending in fat, teardrop-shaped crystals in shades of plum, apricot and cherry. His chubby hand clutched a Luger pistol. [[“Rudgie Drasp!”]] she snarled.

One of the top S.T.E.A.L. agents and an all-around skunk. She’d heard he was dead, killed by French gendarmes while trying to rob a comic book shop in Marseilles. But somehow he’d eluded his much-deserved destruction. [[ah, miss besott<-Continue]]

“Ah, Miss Besott!” he rumbled. “So nice to see you again. How kind of you to lead me to the second ball – or did you just decide to take up gardening in your spare time?” “I’m not a gardener,” Notty said. “But I’d enjoy planting *you* – six feet under!” He chortled. “How droll! You’re almost as amusing as the Artifactians.” He gestured at the zombies’ remains. “I expected them to lay some sort of trap. It’s the Artifactians’ typical modus operandi. But I must confess I wasn’t expecting this. Zombies! How droll!” “Yeah, hilarious,” Notty grumbled. “Now would you like to see something *really* funny?” [[she clutched<-Continue]]

She clutched her amulet and spat out a second incantation as fast as her lips could form the words – a general-purpose thunderbolt spell. But her anti-zombie spell had drained most of the energy from her amulet, and the anemic arc of energy that issued from her amulet proved no match for Drasp’s pectoral pendants, which easily absorbed the attack. He winced as the high heat singed his chest, but only for a moment, then chortled again. “As you can see, Miss Besott, I am more than a match for your mumbo jumbo.” She snorted contemptuously. “Store-bought magic.” “Correct. Acquired from a delightful little shop in Istanbul. I must admit I’m no sorcerer, but with these little baubles I don’t have to be. Of course they’re strictly for defensive purposes, but that’s alright.” He hefted the Luger. “For offense I prefer the magic of a firearm; it’s far easier to unleash, and much more certain. Dead certain.” [[his eyes narrowed<-Continue]]

His eyes narrowed. “Speaking of which, kindly remove your own firearm and throw it away.” “I’m not armed.” “Oh? Well whatever that bulge is in your lower left pocket, remove it. I doubt it’s part of your anatomy, for I know those delightful lumps only too well.” Shuddering with revulsion, she pulled out her Colt .45 and tossed it into the scraggly bush. Drasp nodded approvingly. “Excellent. Now bring me those balls.” She smirked. “Why, don’t you have any of your own?” “Was that retort supposed to be clever?” “I’ll settle for insulting.” “Enough blather. Bring me the balls!” She put her hands on her hips. “Come and get them, fat boy.” [[drasp turned to his chair bearers<-Continue]]

Drasp turned to his chair bearers, who were standing impassively off to the side, gazing into space, arms folded over their muscular chests. He snapped his fingers. Their heads jerked toward him. He gestured at Notty. “Retrieve the balls. And teach Miss Besott some manners.” Slowly they swung their heads in her direction, their eyes welling up with sadistic glee. They lumbered forward. Notty’s mouth went dry. Jupiterrons were master contortionists, capable of twisting various body parts into astonishing angles – not their own body parts, but those of their victims, resulting in extraordinary levels of torment. “Alright! Alright!” she said. “You win, Drasp!” He snapped his fingers twice and the purple hulks stopped, disappointment dimming their gaze. She took one of the balls from her pocket, hefted it, flashed him a nasty grin. “Here, catch!” Notty had been a star pitcher on the University of Nebraska at Omaha varsity softball team, capable of hurling a ball at eighty-seven miles per hour. This pitch was a hundred, striking Drasp in the forehead and cracking his skull. BANG! [[the gun went off<-Continue]]

The gun went off, the bullet missing her by three feet. Drasp dropped the weapon, keeled over and tumbled out of the sedan chair. Notty scrambled to the bush, frantically feeling around for her Colt as the chair bearers charged toward her, snorting like bulls. She found the firearm, wheeled around and fired, the bullets tearing through the Jupiterrons’ leathery skin and burrowing into their innards. As the sound of the gunshots faded she took a deep breath, put away her gun and walked over to the sedan chair, switching on her necklace and sweeping her eyes across the ground till she spied the ball. She picked it up and put it in her pocket next to the first one; they touched with a satisfying “clink.” She trained glowering eyes on the unconscious Drasp. (text-colour:red)[[shoot Drasp<-Shoot Drasp]] [[leave him<-Ignore him]]

(set: $leaveDrasp to 0) BANG! BANG! [[only one ball left to go<-Continue]]

(set: $leaveDrasp to 1) She sat down cross-legged in the grass near a patch of peonies and invoked her Search Spell once more, then returned to her Astral-Martin and took off, heading for... [[The battlefields of Derthage, Realm 4]] [[The ancient ruins of Flayarpette, Realm 3]]

She sat down cross-legged in the grass near a patch of peonies and invoked her Search Spell once more, then returned to her Astral-Martin and took off, heading for... [[The battlefields of Derthage, Realm 4]] [[The ancient ruins of Flayarpette, Realm 3]]

Several dozen sterling-silver skeletons armed with scimitars clink-clanked across the courtyard as the light of three small suns in a nearly cloudless, slate-colored sky flashed and glistened off their bones and blades. Leaping over cracked and crumbling columns of mauve-veined marble, the attackers closed in on an opposing band of skeletons forged from gold, slightly shorter but with thicker bones, who brandished broadswords as they prepared to repel the charge. Behind the semicircle of golden guardians stood a gleaming twelve-foot-high statue carved from green-flecked soapstone, depicting a Hydra-like monster with nine heads, six of them detached from their necks and lying on the ground. All nine necks were marred by dozens of deep gouges inflicted by the Silvers’ slashing scimitars during earlier battles. Strands of coruscating cerulean, golden and chartreuse light flowed over the combatants’ blades as they closed in on their enemies. FUSHHHANNNG! FUSHHHANNNG! [[sparks flew from<-Continue]]

The flying [[carpet]] of Moji Tozzath soared over the desert, where wind-rippled, undulating dunes of twinkling cyan sand clogged what once were wide, paved thoroughfares and nearly covered the roofless ruins of hundreds of stately stone homes where the citizens of ancient Flayarpette once dwelled. Pussy willows as tall as trees filled a dried-up riverbed off to the left, their fuzzy, ten-foot-long tips brushing against the masts of rotten-hulled ships whose keels rested at odd angles on the bottom. Moji grinned as a sudden wind kicked up, swaying the pussy willows and buffeting his conveyance as Miss Besott’s arms tightened around his slim waist and her big breasts squooshed into his back, her taut nipples poking his delighted flesh through the thin fabric of his salmon-colored tunic. Good thing his yellow pantaloons were so baggy, for they concealed his massive erection. This foreign woman was an exotic delight, with her twilight-blue eyes, sunset-hued hair, astonishingly shapely and unusually long legs and massive melons. Native girls possessed more common charms. Up ahead of them, a sunburnt plain of cracked clay came into view, a field of fissures at the foot of a tall hill topped by an eighty-eight-foot-high blue-basalt temple carved in the likeness of a sitting cat, sporting glittering eyes made from thousands of emeralds. Notty let out a chuckle as she caught her first glimpse; it was just the sort of place the irony-loving Artifactians would hide a dog’s ball. [[moji twisted<-Continue]]

Beagles, to be precise [[The La Kinka nightclub in Dredfulia, Realm 3<-Continue]]

The first lad abruptly stopped and bent over and the second lad came up behind him and mounted, impaling his butt. The third lad did the same to the second and the threesome commenced a conga dance around the stage, their balls swishing against their partners’ asses as the Venusians shouted “Bad doggies! Bad bad doggies!” and the crowd went nuts, tossing dog biscuits at the lads and chanting “Cerr-berrr-ussss! Cerr-berrr-ussss!” Notty rolled her eyes, grit her teeth and headed for the exit, annoyed that her Search Spell had led her astray. But she was determined to press on with the hunt ... with dogged determination. [[The Petallos flower gardens in Croxbruth, Realm 4<-Try the flower garden]]

Crafted by the legendary wizard-weaver Joji Tozzath, Moji’s great-great grandfather, the carpet was composed of violet and silver threads derived from unicorn manes and condensed moonbeams, bespelled with levitation magic powered by vril energy induced by orichalcum conductors made in Atlantis. [[The ancient ruins of Flayarpette, Realm 3<-Continue]]

Moji twisted the front edge of the carpet, sending the vehicle into a steep and sudden climb as Miss Besott squeezed him even tighter and expelled her hot breath against the nape of his neck, just as he had hoped. When they were higher than the approaching temple he curled the edge down, putting the carpet into a shallow dive, then tugged back on the corners till the conveyance settled gently onto the roof. Miss Besott released her grip on him, much to his sadness, and he arose from the carpet, turned and took her hand, thrilling to the warmth and softness of her skin as he helped her to her feet. She reached into a pocket of her jumpsuit and took out a couple of coins, but Moji waved them away. “It has been my great pleasure to serve you, Miss Besott,” he said, his cheeks reddening as he averted his gaze to his humble sandals. “No further payment is required.” “Oh, how sweet of you!” she said, looking him up and down. Quite a handsome lad – and well hung, judging by the size of the bulge in his pantaloons. She smiled warmly. “Perhaps you’d care to join me in searching for the artifact I mentioned? I think we’d both enjoy ourselves immensely.” (Actually, she didn’t need to search for it. Her dowsing spell had already told her exactly where it was.) (text-colour:magenta)[[Here comes another irrelevant sex scene]] [[the lovers re-robed<-I’ll pass on the raunch]]

Notty activated the glowstones in her necklace and led the lad through a triangular doorway in the cat’s left ear and down a spiral stone staircase into a large chamber where a dozen feline funerary urns – inscribed with emerald *cattouches* – sat glistening inside narrow niches. She dimmed her necklace to a soft romantic glow, grabbed Moji’s pantaloons and tried to tug them down, but they snagged on his rigid prong. He gasped. “What are you doing?” “Seducing you,” she purred. Alarm flashed across his face. “In this holy place?” She chuckled. “Can you think of a better place to get some pussy?” He started to protest further, but she silenced him with a kiss as she slipped a hand inside his pantaloons, grabbed his dick, bent it toward his belly and tugged the garment down to his ankles. Soon they were naked and he was lying on his back on the cool flagstones with Notty straddling him, impaling her quivering chasm with his pulsating penis as his slim hands squeezed her jiggling jugs. As their moans and gasps echoed off the walls, misty four-legged figures drifted down from the niches and climbed all over the lovers, who barely felt the touch of those spectral paws. After the couple climaxed, the spirits floated back to their urns, serenaded by the humans’ contented sighs. [[the lovers re-robed<-Continue]]

The lovers re-robed and continued their explorations, descending to the third level, where Notty made a beeline for one particular niche. She bent down and peered into it, clapping her hands in glee as she spied the prize, then started to reach for it. “Meeeeeeorrrrowwwww!” A cacophonous cat chorus pierced her ears and echoed off the walls and a swarm of frothy furballs with glowing emerald eyes swirled in front of her, blocking the niche. Notty sensed this was not an attack but an intervention, a warning of unseen danger. She removed a pen from her pocket and thrust it into the opening. SLESHINNNG! A blade snapped down from a secret slit in the top of the niche, slicing the pen in two as ink spattered and a bewildered Moji gasped. [[that could have been blood<-Continue]]

*That could have been blood instead of ink,* she mused. *My blood! And my finger instead of my pen!* Relieved purrs told her the danger was past as the cat cloud dissipated. She reached cautiously into the niche, grabbed the ball and brought it out, thrusting her arm triumphantly into the air. As she and Moji returned to the temple top where his flying carpet awaited, ghostly and grateful “meows” saluted them, for the temple’s aura had been purified of the canine taint, and the spirits reposing within the walls were truly pleased. [[epilogue<-Continue]]

Notty Besott’s Astral-Martin flew low over the treetops and glided down to the lush lawn of a mansion sitting at the back of a thickly wooded lot on a hill overlooking Penistone in Yorkshire, England. This was the estate of Lushian Voliage – ostensibly a fabulously wealthy collector of antiquities, but secretly head of S.N.A.T.C.H. She climbed out of her bubble car, gazing up at the scraggly branches rattling in the brisk wind as they tossed some dead leaves at her feet, like macabre flower girls. It reminded her of the last time she attended a [[wedding]], serving as maid of honor for her cousin Chastizia. [[notty winced<-Continue]]

Sparks flew from the clashing weapons. Metallic bones shattered. Shiny skulls toppled from severed spines and struck the flagstones as the infernal crimson light in the eye sockets dimmed and winked out. The headless soldiers sagged, sank to their knees, keeled over. A few Silvers broke through the Gold defenders and clambered up onto the statue, straddling one of the hydra’s unbeheaded necks and whacking away at the stone as chips flew furiously. The gouges deepened. Several defenders responded, turning away from the frontal assault and leaping onto the back of the statue, landing behind the attackers, who twisted their torsos three-sixty to face their foes. A small teal cloud drifted across the sky and hovered, ridden by a wizen-faced, gray-skinned man clad in orchid-and-ivory-colored robes who sat cross-legged upon the fluffy flyer. His waist-length beard was white and frothy, like cloudstuff. His gnarled hands held a pewter rod with a sapphire stone at the tip. [[he waved the wand<-Continue]]

He waved the wand in a circle and uttered strange words and a turquoise-colored, egg-shaped object dropped from the bottom of the cloud, plunging to the ground and bursting open. A jumble of metal bars tumbled out, quickly click-clacking together, erecting themselves into three more silver skeletons that quickly joined the melee. Now a second cloud appeared in the sky, facing the first one, gliding to a stop about a dozen yards away – a tawny cloud with a naked, mint-skinned woman sitting upon it, her lime-green hair done up in three cones piled atop her head. In her long, slim hands she held two scepters, one tipped by a scarlet crystal, the other pink. She waved the scepters in a figure-eight pattern, releasing a mustard-colored egg, but before it could hit the ground the man’s wand blasted it with a beam of periwinkle light. BANASHASH! [[the egg burst<-Continue]]

The egg burst open in mid-air, its contents vaporizing as streamers of jaundiced smoke spiraled upward. “You miserable cheat!” the sorceress screamed. She crossed her scepters to form an “X” and pointed them at her foe, launching a fuchsia fireball. The wizard frantically made a circular motion with his wand, erecting an aquamarine oval of energy, and the fireball splashed harmlessly against it. “My turn!” he roared, shooting a fireball of his own, but the woman spawned a shield to thwart the blast, then retaliated. PWOOFUFF! PWOOFUFF! PWOOFUFF! As the witch/wizard warfare lit up the sky the armies below stopped battling, staring up at the spectacle in mesmeration. Notty turned around and climbed back into her Astral-Martin, scowling at her amulet and gesturing at the hydra. “Does that look like a fucking DOG to you?” she muttered, but she wasn’t really angry at her amulet, just herself, for she had forgotten to go on the WizardWeb to Spell-check for magical amulet updates during the last full moon, so she had only herself to blame for the wild goose chase. [[The ancient ruins of Flayarpette, Realm 3]]

Before that day was over, the best man and the groom were on their way to the hospital with multiple contusions and Notty was picking wedding cake frosting out of her hair and nursing a bloody lip, courtesy of said cousin... (text-colour:yellow)[[Ooh! Sounds juicy! Tell me more!]] [[notty winced<-Never mind the trip down memory lane. Get back to the story.]]

Notty winced and shoved the unpleasant memory aside as she stepped onto the front porch and reached for the door knocker. (if: $leaveDrasp is 1)[[drasp returns<-Continue]] (if: $leaveDrasp is 0)[[epilogue2<-Continue]]

We’re sorry, but the lowdown on that sordid affair is only available on Chastizia Rebuxum’s OnlyFans page. [[wedding<-Continue]]

The mosaic on the floor depicted two naked Roman boys grappling. Once it had graced the courtyard of a wealthy merchant’s home in Pompeii, until Lushian “acquired” it. The skeleton of a Tyrannosaurus Rex glowered down at her from the left side of the foyer. On the right side stood a five-foot-long chunk of carved marble – the left big toe from the Colossus of Rhodes. And leaning in one corner was an eighteen-foot-high, barnacle-encrusted anchor off the Titanic. [[they left the foyer<-Continue]]

They left the foyer and walked down a wide hallway to a set of double doors at the far end. Preene knocked and slid the doors open. “Miss Besott,” he announced, then bowed and stood aside, waving her through before sliding the doors shut behind her. [[See more of Lushian’s treasures]] [[Lushian Voliage was sitting<-Skip the treasures]]

A crystal chandelier made by Andre-Charles Boulle showered light on walls covered with amber panels adorned with intricate carvings of cupids, nymphs, angels and coats of arms, bordered by jeweled mosaics and gilt-edged mirrors – a dazzling treat for the eye that very few people ever got to see. This was the legendary Amber Room from the Catherine Palace in Saint Petersburg. The entire room was stolen by the Nazis during World War II, then disappeared. According to historians it was never seen again, yet here it was. Lushian wouldn’t tell Notty where it came from or how he got his hands on it, but she had no doubts as to its authenticity; Lushian never settled for artificial artifacts. [[in the middle<-Continue]]

Lushian Voliage was sitting at a [[desk]] at the far end of the room. A handsome Saturnian with light orange skin, close-cropped maroon hair, a jaunty mustache above sensuous lips, and intense golden eyes set in an angular face, he was only of average height by Saturnian standards (seven foot two), but there was nothing average about his prong – thirteen inches when fully erect, as Notty could attest after measuring it personally on several occasions. [[they exchanged<-Continue]]

In the middle of the room sat a sarcophagus from an Aztec temple, its lid open, revealing the body of an ancient king wearing a robe made from ostrich feathers and bejeweled with diamonds, emeralds and sapphires. His face was hidden beneath a gleaming mask of jade studded with ruby teardrops. To the right was an orichalcum chest taken from a secret chamber beneath the Great Sphinx of Giza. Lushian had shown her the contents once – tablets made of strange dark-blue clay from some unknown world, covered with oddly shaped glyphs no one had ever been able to decipher. Beyond that sat a harpsichord once owned by Ludwig Van Beethoven. Next came bookcases containing first editions of “Tristam Shandy,” “Tamerlane And Other Poems,” “The Codex of Leicester,” the “Ensorcellpaedia Satanica,” “As Ogmant Lay Naked” and “Passions of the Damned,” plus dozens of other rare books and manuscripts taken from libraries and private collections across the world, with clever counterfeits left in their place. [[Lushian Voliage was sitting<-Continue]]

Made of asbestrie wood with gnometal drawer handles, the desk once sat in the Triangle Office of Premier Virdekla’o in the Scarlet House of the People’s Republic of Western Mercury, but mysteriously vanished while being transported to the Glorious Late Leaders Exhibit at the Mercurial War Museum. [[Lushian Voliage was sitting<-Continue]]

They exchanged warm smiles as she crossed the room and set her gray troll-leather bag down on the desk. He opened it and took out the three Cerberus Balls, holding them easily in his large left hand. As they touched they gave off little sparks and satisfying clicking sounds. “You have done well, Notty,” he said in his alluring Saturnian accent. [[he set the balls<-Continue]]

He set the balls down in a bowl of [[dichroic]] glass – made in ancient Rome around 4 A.D. and worth a quarter of a million dollars – then pulled open a drawer, removed an attaché case and slid it to the far side of the desk. She opened it, smiled at the stacks of cash inside, shut the lid and snapped the clasps. “Will I receive my usual ... bonus?” She arched an eyebrow. He responded with a saucy grin, then got up and came around the desk, took her hand and led her to the right side of the room, where he pressed the nose of a carved cupid in the middle of an amber panel. CLICK Part of the wall slid aside, revealing a small room dominated by a four-poster bed from the palace of Versailles, where Marie Antoinette once laid her lovely head – back when she still had one. [[they shucked<-Continue]]

Glass that changes colors when viewed at different angles. [[he set the balls<-Continue]]

They shucked off their clothes and jumped into the bed, lying atop cream-colored sheets embroidered with the French imperial crest in red thread, and soon Lushian’s expert thrusts drove Notty to a sexplosion of ecstasy as he unleashed his love lotion into her spasming sluice. And that is the climax of our story.

Notty crouched defensively, clasping her amulet and reciting a zombie-killing spell, praying she remembered the words correctly. She’d used it in training exercises at the Salisbury Sorcery School, but never in real life (or real death, to be precise). [[zombie-killing spell<-Continue]]

Notty started to recite a zombie-killing spell, but remembered she’d wasted sixty-four percent of her amulet’s energy trying to turn Therban into a rat. Her heart sank into her stomach and her knees sank to the ground as the zombies closed in. SKESH! ... EEESH! ... FLERSH! They tore her limb from limb as the air filled with the sounds of bones snapping, flesh and fabric ripping, spurting blood splashing, Notty screaming. They squeezed her skull till it cracked like a walnut, then ripped open her abdomen and buried their ravenous mouths into her bowels and brain – fiends in a feeding frenzy. Yuck! [[pistol,<-Try again]]

With Preene the butler leading the way, Notty entered the mansion, her eyes scanning the foyer, taking in the splendor of her surroundings. No matter how many times she came here she never tired of marveling over the [[treasures]] Lushian Voliage had gathered over the years. [[they left the foyer<-Continue]]

WHIRRRR! She spun around, jerking her head up and staring at the treetops, where a magenta object was pushing through the branches – a personal hovercraft, shaped like a sedan chair, powered by twin turbofans. And sitting at the controls was... “Rudgie Drasp!” she gasped, drawing her Colt 45 automatic. But before she could fire, an M230 Bushmaster chain gun mounted on the front of the craft chattered, stitching her with bullets. As she fell to the ground the chair landed and Drasp emerged. He waddled up to her, smirking. “So kind of you to bring me the Cerberus balls, Miss Besott. But I’m afraid your usefulness has come to an end.” He shook his head. “You really should have polished me off when you had the chance. That was a mistake. And in our profession, mistakes are fatal. Any last words you’d care to share?” With her last ounce of strength, Notty lashed out with her left leg, aiming at his crotch. She missed. [[the gun went off<-You should have killed Drasp when you had the chance]]