[[New Year]]
[[New Me->Do you know]]
{(set:$takewith to "")(set:$leavebehind to "")}You sit on a floor, heart pounding, thoughts racing, flailing your limbs aimlessly.
//[[Why did I]] how did i where did I find thqat in what way how and why and whewre and when and is it their fault cant it be their fault no its my fault [[its always me]] it can never be anyone else but it has to be because I'm right and they are wrong they are wrong they are wait but what about that night what did they do they did this and they told me it was fine and i believed them well then its their fault it;s [[their fault]]////The Ball drops at midnight. The Ball drops at midnight. The Ball drops...
//
You blink and feel a blur of words and letters fall away from the edge of your vision as you are reduced only to sensation.
[[Let go]]
[[Hold on]]You feel your heart pound. Your limbs stretch. You feel an awareness of the world around you. and an awareness of yourself.
[[breathe]]
[[reflect]]The words have helped before and so perhaps they will again. As you open your eyes you see you are in front of a computer, reading words on a screen.
''Happy New Year. You are free. You are home. You can [[LET GO->Let go]]''
[[I don't want to]]You watch the ball fall from the giant tower as fireworks around you light up the sky.
It's a new year.
It's a new you.
{(if:$takewith is not "")[You wanted to take this with you: $takewith.]}
[[Restart]]?You control yourself. But yourself also controls you sometimes. We are but a sack of screaming animals begging for satisfaction, and you feel a need to satisfy all of them at once.
[[Let go]]
[[I don't like these animals]]Who are they?
[[My love]]
[[My hate]]
[[Me ->its always me]] What did you do? (input-box:"X")
(link-reveal:"Why did you do it? ")[(input-box:"x")
(link-reveal:"Why is that?")[(input-box:"x")
Continue writing until you are satisfied.
[[Reflect further->I don't believe in binaries]]
[[Leave the baggage behind and look up ->Look up]]]]You open your eyes and feel the calming sounds of your breath with you. you were already breathing. you always have, and you always wil.
You begin to walk. Purposelessly, aimlessly, just to see where the road takes you. You pass buildings, trees, street signs, small gardens and their fences. you run your hand over the trunk of a mottled old tree as you look up to see the holliday lights surrounding your neighbor's tower. it is time.
[[Look up]] It's been a long year. You've grown. You've regressed. Really, you've just changed.
Was it a good year?
[[Yes]]
[[No]]
[[I don't believe in binaries]][[You feel the pain embrace you.->New Me]]You write in your journal:
What do you want to take with you into next year? (input-box: bind $takewith)
What is it time to leave behind? (input-box: bind $leavebehind)
You take a deep breath. It's time.
[[Look up]]Will the next one be better?
[[Yes]]
[[No->I don't believe in binaries]] Describe your year, to whatever extent you want to: (input-box:"X")
[[I'm done describing]]Are you ready for the new year to begin?
[[I want to reflect some more->Yes]]
[[I'm done. Let's get this new year rolling! ->Look up]] Do you [[fear them]]? or [[fear being away from them]]?
[[I don't believe in binaries]]What is it they do you don't like? (input-box:"x")
(link-reveal:"Done")[
When did you last do that thing? (input-box:"x")
Can you forgive the both of you?
[[Try ->breathe]]
[[I can't]]]
Name an animal: (input-box:bind $animal, "=X=", 1, )
[[Confront it]]What does $animal want?
(input-box:"x")
What do you want?
(input-box:"x")
How are those coming into conflict?
(input-box:"x")
How do you fix that conflict?
(input-box:"x")
You know $animal better now, I hope.
Before you know it, you overhear shouts, and a countdown.
10...
9....
8...
7...
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
[[Look up]]
Why do you fear them? What have they done? (input-box:"x")
Our fight or flight instinct exists for a reason. that fear is telling you to be aware of something.
[[Listen to it]]
(link-reveal-goto:"Don't listen to it", "Confront it")[(set:$animal to "fight or flight instinct")]Fear of losing love can feel worse than being without love. Know that that fear is an expression of how much you love them.
What are some things you love about yourself? (input-box:"x")
Now write your favorite one here: (input:bind $takewith)
Be here for you. Be here for now.
take a deep [[breath->breathe]].Then be patient and give yourself time.
[[Continue to reflect->I don't believe in binaries]]
[[Wait for the ball to drop->Look up]] What will you change in your behavior? (input-box:bind $takewith)
(link-reveal:"That's what I'll change")[The ball is about to drop! Are you ready for a new year?
[[Look up]]]Do you know what the new me looks like?
[[Yes]]
[[no->New Me]]
↶↷New Year
New Me