Billionaire Makr

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~*~Billionarie Makr~*~ Get money! 😎 Play smart! 😎😎 Win the game!!! 😎😎😎😎 ''YOU COULD BE A BILLIONAIRE!!'' <img src="https://cdn3.emoji.gg/emojis/9142-tada.gif" width=200/> Content warnings: <<linkreplace "Click to view." t8n>>Acts of cruelty, exploitation, gambling, and excessive swearing.<</linkreplace>> [[Start]]

Your goal is to become a billionaire!! BUT you only have a month (that's right: 4 weeks!!) to do so ==before you're found guilty of tax fraud== before you lose the game!! THAT'S RIGHT, this is a game 😎 Now pick what player you want to start as: [[Trustfund entrepreneur|Rich Route Week 1]] [[Just some dude (gender neutral)|Poor Route Week 1]]

You made the CORRECT choice!! (You can tell because the background color is the same.) Well, you've got a small hoard of cash from your parents, don't have to worry about bills, and have a goal (REACH ONE BILLION DOLLARS). What will you do to achieve your goal? Week 1: [[Start your dream business from scratch|Rich Route Week 2 Low]] [[Commit a hostile takeover for a business you KNOW would be better under your leadership|Rich Route Week 2 High]] [[Appeal for a high-paying position at your dad's company|Rich Route Week 2 Medium]]

HAHAHAHA good fucking luck lmao!!! Week 1: You don't have much money in your account and your job doesn't pay shit. You can barely even afford your stupid rent and your fuckface landlords keep raising the price. BUT you'll show those idiots when you GET RICH!! 😎 Unfortunately there's not many avenues to getting rich fast when you don't have any money to invest... which means you're going to have to try something CRAZY!! What do you do? [[Fuck it we ball (get a loan)|Poor Route Week 2 Modest]] [[Ask friends to lend you some money. After all, you are just a girl (gender neutral)|Poor Route Week 2 Small]] [[Fuck this shit I give up|Poor Route Week 2 Nothing]]

The bank approved of a small loan! Except, you'll need to pay it back eventually except no you fucking won't because everyone knows that rich people don't need to pay jack shit. So GET RICH!! Week 2: What will you do with your small pile of funds? [[Fuck it. I deserve a treat. Spend it all whaling for your favorite waifu (gender neutral)|Poor Route Week 3 Nothing]] [[Let's be smart. Start with some small, safe investments and work your way up|Poor Route Week 3 Modest]]

Your friends pitied you and gave you a little bit of money after you promised to pay them back next month. Which means MORE DEBT!! Oh well, just toss it onto the tens of thousands of dollars of student loan debt that you will maybe pay off once you WIN THE GAME!! Week 2: Time to start playing smart: How will you WIN THE GAME?? [[This job fucking sucksss! Try to find a new one|Poor Route Week 3 Small]] [[Lock in. Double the hours, double the pay 😎|Poor Route Week 3 Modest]]

Well, you just wasted a whole week scrolling on your phone or some dumb shit and NOT BEING PRODUCTIVE!! It's like you don't even want to win the game even tho that's literally the whole point!! Maybe you'll do better this week. Week 2: Do something to make money, idiot. [[Okay I guess I'll try looking for a new job JEEZ|Poor Route Week 3 Small]] [[Idk let me think about it|Poor Route Week 3 Nothing]]

You can't just "find a new job" 🥴🥴🥴 Like be fr it's gonna take you months of sorting thru fake listings and ghost listings and straight-up fucking scams just to find a halfway decent job with shit-but-kinda-livable wages only for the dumbest AI to auto-tag your resume as "not qualified" for the position 🥴 Don't you remember how long it took just to find this stupid fucking job you're currently working??? Oh yeah and here's the fun part becuz "misery loves company" or some shit like that: your boss found out you were searching for a new job and docked your pay. Is that even legal? Who fucking knows. Even if it isn't, it's not like you have the money to sue him. How did he find out? Who fucking cares. It's not like advertisers let anyone have any online privacy anymore. Week 3: Well you fucked up bad. How will you fix it? [[Stress clean|Poor Route Week 4 Nothing]] [[Apologize to your boss and promise to work twice as hard|Poor Route Week 4 Small]]

What. What the fuck. Why are you just sitting around on your phone doing nothing??? Where did your MOTIVATION go???? Week 3: Let's 😎 LOCK 😎 IN 😎 and 😎 WIN 😎 BIG 😎 [[Uhhh idk look thru pile of neglected mail|Poor Route Week 4 Nothing]] [[Ok MOM I guess I'll go to work. Or something|Poor Route Week 4 Small]]

You start to make a modest, yet steady income. At the rate you're going, you'll start to develop a healthy savings—so long as you don't have any emergencies and you don't have to start paying back any of your loans. Week 3: How will you invest your funds? [[Hire an advisor to help to choose safe investments|Poor Route Week 4 Modest]] [[Back out of the stock market and focus on your job|Poor Route Week 4 Small]]

Did you. Did you just spend a whole week sorting thru your mail. I... I have no words. This level of procrastination is almost admirable. Almost. But mostly I just don't give a fuck anymore. There's likely //no way// you can become a billionaire at this rate. Even if this wasn't your last week. Week 4: Sorting thru the mail revealed a scratch-off ticket: //Billion-4-Billion.// Apparently the grand prize is ''A BILLION DOLLARS'' but there is a one-in-a-billion chance to get it. What will you do? <<set $ScratchOff to random(1, 1000000000)>><<link "Fuck it let's try">> <<if $ScratchOff is 1>> <<goto "Billionaire Ending">> <<else>> <<goto "Poor Route Poor Ending">> <</if>> <</link>> [[Yeah I just don't give a fuck about this game anymore|Poor Route Poor Ending]]

Your pay isn't the best, but it's steady. The hours are hard, though, and you just want to give up. There's likely //no way// you can become a billionaire at this rate. But you have to keep going to survive. Week 4: How will you WIN THE GAME?? [[Grindset mindset baybeeee|Poor Route Poor Ending]] [[Dial it back. Try to find a healthy work-life balance before you explode. Literally|Poor Route Poor Ending]]

Your investments are starting to pay off, but the number going up in your bank account is not a BIG number go up. There's likely //no way// you can become a billionaire at this rate. Week 4: What is your last-ditch effort to become a billionaire? [[Go big or go home! CASINO TIME!!|Poor Route Poor Ending]] [[I don't need to be rich to live a happy and fulfilling life|Poor Route Modest Ending]]

YOU LOST! Not only are you NOT A BILLIONAIRE, but you are also struggling to make ends meet. All of this is surely your fault, because this ==economy== game is designed to be winnable if you just TRY hard enough! But no. You just had to fuck around with shit that wasn't important. Great job. Maybe the next generation will have better chances than you. [[End]]

<span class="congrats">CONGRATULATIONS</span> Yay you did it!!!11!!!1!! You WON the GAME and became a BILLIONAIRE!!! 😎😎😎 <img src="https://i.imgur.com/DAAN8yB.jpeg" width=500/> Gold star <img src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/29/Gold_Star.svg/2048px-Gold_Star.svg.png" width=100/> <img src="https://cdn3.emoji.gg/emojis/9142-tada.gif" width=200/><img src="https://cdn3.emoji.gg/emojis/9142-tada.gif" width=200/><img src="https://cdn3.emoji.gg/emojis/9142-tada.gif" width=200/> [[End]]

You make a modest living and are able to support yourself and any future family you might want to have... so long as the economy doesn't change. Which means that, now that you're actually starting to benefit from the system, you are incentivized to never let it change. But, at least for now, you are slowly accumulating your wealth. Maybe, several generations from now, your decendents will finally be rich. Unfortunately for you, the goal of this game was for //you// to become a billionaire, which means... YOU LOST! Maybe things would have been better if you didn't come from nothing. [[End]]

THE END Thank you for playing. If you would like to attempt a new fate, [[try again.|Title]] Disclaimer: <<linkreplace "Click to view." t8n>>This work is highly sarcastic and is not meant to insult anyone or any person's lifestyle. Except billionaires. Fuck billionaires.<</linkreplace>> yf-kimi

Well, you started your dream business! Everything is made in your image, but... wow, you didn't realize how much time, money, and effort went into making a business from scratch. At this rate, it will take the full 4 weeks just to make the business operational, let alone break even. Week 2: What will you do to remedy this issue? [[Hire some people and delegate the tasks|Rich Route Week 3 Medium]] [[Fuck off this is MY baby!!!!!!!|Rich Route Week 3 Low]]

You successfully take over the business, but the situation ended up attracting a lot of bad press. Stocks plummeted and activists organized a short boycott. Now, operating costs were starting to outweigh profits. Week 2: How can you make up the lost funds? [[Fire employees and use cheap, overseas labor|Rich Route Week 3 High]] [[Completely rebrand and hope the public forgets|Rich Route Week 3 Low]]

You immediately aced the interview at your father's company and started your position as the new COO. Not that you knew how to do the job. But fuck it, that's what the old COO (your new assistant) is for. The only problem is that, while the pay is good, it's not good enough to become a billionaire in just a few short weeks. Week 2: What's your next step to becoming a billionaire? [[Use your funds to start investing on the side|Rich Route Week 3 Low]] [[Steal employee wages|Rich Route Week 3 High]]

The business is now running smoother than ever. The people you hired are incredibly proficient, but they demand a lot of money for their services. You'll have to figure out some way to cut costs in order to WIN THE GAME. Week 3: What will you forsake? [[The workers. Replace them with halfway-decent workers that will happily accept half the pay|Rich Route Week 4 Medium]] [[The environment. The penalty for breaking environmental laws is much cheaper than what it would cost to keep the earth clean|Rich Route Week 4 High]]

You don't know what you're doing and now you seem to be bleeding money. Things won't work out for you unless you can turn it around from here. Week 3: How will you remedy your failures? [[Ask mom and dad to bail you out|Rich Route Week 4 Medium]] [[Idk sell the business|Rich Route Week 4 Low]]

You're making more money than ever, but employees, former employees, and consumers are upset about the way that you've been running your business. As if they have any fucking clue how to run a business!! Week 3: How will YOU run YOUR business? [[Listen to the concerns of the people|Rich Route Week 4 Medium]] [[Lobby for lighter environmental regulations to lessen costs|Rich Route Week 4 High]]

The business is making a steady, modest profit, and the public has mostly favorable opinions about it. It is called a "success" by magazines around the country. The only problem is that it's not a HUGE success. There are so many people making so much more money than you. Compared to them, you are practically POOR. At this rate, there's a //low chance// you can become a billionaire. Week 4: How will you WIN THE GAME? [[Sell ownership of the business, but keep a large portion of the stocks|Millionaire Ending]] [[Keep operating as usual... This will surely work. Totally|Millionaire Ending]]

You sell the business and you gain a huge amount of money. No matter what you decide to do from here on out, you would be able to live comfortably. The only problem is, you won't be a BILLIONAIRE. At this rate, there's a //low chance// you can become a billionaire. Week 4: What is your last idea to try to succeed? [[Ask mom and dad for another loan?|Millionaire Ending]] [[Fuck it let's go all in on stocks!!|Millionaire Ending]]

Wow. You are bringing in the DOUGH!! Operating costs are low, profits are high, but the public does not seem to approve of your business. Clearly those ants haven't realized your greatness yet. Still, you are making so much money that it almost doesn't matter. But... you still aren't making ENOUGH money. You NEED to see the big number go up even higher. If you play your cards right, there's a //high chance// you can become a billionaire. Week 4: WIN THE GAME [[Launch a marketing campaign that shows off your company's "humanity"|Millionaire Ending]] [[Drastically lower prices, starve the competition, and create an artificial monopoly|Billionaire Ending]]

YOU ARE A MILLIONAIRE!!!!! Boooooo you suck!!! 👎👎👎👎👎👎 Sure, you have more than enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life, but you're not a BILLIONAIRE!!!! You don't have NEARLY enough money and, most importantly, you didn't win the game!! In other words: <img src="https://img1.picmix.com/output/stamp/normal/3/0/8/6/2696803_7d096.gif" width=200/> Try harder to make number go higher next time. [[End]]