Forget Me Not (Augustus Scene FINAL)

With a few bags of crops and ingredients in your hands, you make your way to Augustus’ house, which sits along the road that eventually leads to the Luminaires’ family villa. The villa is relatively separated from the rest of the valley to the point that, despite its size, it’s easy to forget it exists. The afternoon sun shines down on Augustus’ house, a nondescript little building sitting between two other equally nondescript houses. It has no decorations other than a patriotic wreath on the front door, a security camera, and a peeling front door mat that says, “Dogs welcome (people tolerated)”. You remember Mina feeling very pleased with herself when she [[bought it]].

It’s been a while since you took this road, and that realization sits uncomfortably in your gut. You instinctively go to check the windows for signs of movement, but you stop as you realize it’s impossible with the curtains drawn. You lightly knock on the door a couple of times, then wait. When it doesn’t open, you wonder if Augustus thinks you’re some stranger trying to sell him something. Merchants pass through the valley often, never wanting to settle here but always happy to make some coin. But this is distant enough from the center of the valley that you can’t imagine many people passing through. [[“Augustus, it’s Yarelia! Open the door please!”]] [[“Hey Gus, could you open the door? Hopefully I’m not bothering you, but it’s important.”]] [[“Open up, Gustus! There are, like, five dogs ready to bite and turn me into a zombie dog. I'll throw up all over your mat and cry and probably pee on it too, and I can't guarantee the order in which they'll happen!”]]

You hear some shuffling toward the door, and then the sound of the first lock. Then the second, the third, the fourth… and finally the door knob turns. You stand face to face with Augustus, his back more curved over since you last saw him in… February? March? A good few months, you think, as a chilly late autumn breeze whispers in your ear that it’s been too long. His dark skin looks ashen. The hair on his head is thinning, but his beard could almost resemble a scarf. He grins at you, the smile reaching his eyes despite how dim they look. The slight gap in his teeth as he smiles fills you with a warm fondness. “Didn’t think you’d come ‘round these parts today, little star,” he says. “What can ol' Gus help you with?” [[“Nothing at all. I’m just here to visit you.”]] [[“Can I come in and spend time with my favorite gentleman of the valley?”]] [[“I didn’t bring my dog this time, but if you’ll have me, I’d love to hang out.”]]

You hear some shuffling toward the door, and then the sound of the first lock. Then the second, the third, the fourth… and finally the door knob turns. You stand face to face with Augustus, his back more curved over since you last saw him in… February? March? A good few months, you think, as a chilly late autumn breeze whispers in your ear that it’s been too long. His dark skin looks ashen. The hair on his head is thinning, but his beard could almost resemble a scarf. He grins at you, the smile reaching his eyes despite how dim they look. The slight gap in his teeth as he smiles fills you with a warm fondness. “Bother me? There ain’t a chance of that, little star,” he says. “What can ol' Gus help you with?” [[“Nothing at all. I’m just here to visit you.”]] [[“Can I come in and spend time with my favorite gentleman of the valley?”]] [[“I didn’t bring my dog this time, but if you’ll have me, I’d love to hang out.”]]

He blinks a few times, pausing for a moment as if in surprise, then nods. The action activates that thing writhing in your stomach again, making you squirm in place. “Come on in then, little lady,” he says as he shuffles to the side and [[lets you in]].

He blinks a few times, pausing for a moment as if in surprise, then nods. The action activates that thing writhing in your stomach again, making you squirm in place. “Been some time since I last saw ya, it’d be my dang pleasure,” he says as he shuffles to the side and [[lets you in]].

As you walk in, you strain your eyes to adjust to the darkness. The curtains are drawn over not just the windows at the front of the house, but the sliding door in the back. The TV, small and rather ancient, hums lowly, the nearly silent background chatter of whatever reality TV show is on accompanying it. Augustus isn’t the type to strike anyone as someone who watches reality TV, but Mina roped him into watching so many over the years that they grew on him. You’ve watched a few during the times you came over to spend time with them. You’d say your favorite is: [[Affection Detection.]] [[Terror TV.]] [[Let Them Cook.]]

Mina loved romance, whether it was fictional, real, or found in the blurry lines between. You couldn’t help but share her enthusiasm – you didn’t see that kind of thing happening for yourself, so you lived vicariously through the at least loosely scripted people on the screen. “This again?” Augustus would ask when he’d see you two perched on the sofa, eyes glued to the TV. He’d grumble, but he’d still sit down and watch it so that he could talk about it with Mina when they went to bed. You get why Augustus never liked it much. He didn’t need to watch romance reality TV shows; he already had his TV-worthy romance in [[real life]].

Terror TV was morbidly your favorite. From watching people eat bugs, face their fear of drowning by being trapped in enclosed spaces with water running, being buried alive, and more, you loved the adrenaline that coursed through your body. It wasn’t just entertaining – it was validation: you were safe. This valley may be miserable and your life might be shit and you might be lonelier than you can bear it sometimes, but at least you’re not there, doing that. After a career spent confronting his darkest fears, you imagine Augustus liked Terror TV for [[similar reasons->real life]].

Augustus is a terrible cook – a fact that has not changed over the years simply because he loves cooking shows. Let Them Cook is his favorite reality TV show, and although it’s not yours, it’s the one you like to experience with him the most. He loudly goes “whewee” every time a contestant cooks a delicious-looking meal. He rubs his hands when the judging begins, as if one of the cooks is going to pass a meal over to him from inside the television. Mina would indulge him and cook his favorite meal in a given week’s episode. He hasn’t played it during the last few times you’ve [[been here->real life]].

It’s messier than the last time you came here. Clothes have been haphazardly thrown on the sofa and on the floor. Bowls and plates are stacked in the sink, dirty and attracting a few flies. There’s a distinct musky scent, as if nothing has been aired out in some time. Augustus walks slowly toward his rocking chair, up against the upper right corner of the house, and sits down. You scrunch your nose a bit at what’s out on the table next to him: a half-full cup of coffee, a nearly empty glass next to a rum bottle that’s running low, and a bowl with some long-abandoned soup in it. “You want anythin’ to drink?” he asks as he begins to rock himself. [[“I’d love some coffee, please.”]] [[“It’s a rum kind of day, honestly.”]] [[“Just some water, thank you.”]]

“I’m on my third cup today, would ya believe it?” he asks. “Nothin’ beats the smell of coffee in the mornin’.” Augustus has never slept well in the time you’ve known him, even before Mina died. Maybe the cup of coffee keeps him awake enough to function during the day and then crash hard enough at night that sleep comes easier. That’s what you hope, at least. You walk to the kitchen, grab a mug from one of the cabinets, and go to the coffee maker to pour yourself a cup. The scent overpowers your nose; you smile at how right Augustus is. When there’s nothing left of you, when all you see is just an empty abyss with no sound and no end in sight, you’ll still miss the smell of coffee. You walk to the sofa next to his chair and take a seat, nursing the warm cup in your hands for a moment before taking [[the first sip]]. You notice your leg bouncing until you finish licking a stray drop from the corner of your mouth.

“On my third glass today,” he chuckles. “There ain’t a better start to the day.” Augustus has never slept well in the time you’ve known him, even before Mina died. Maybe the glass of rum helps to calm him down enough to go to sleep, to escape the nightmares. That’s what you hope, at least. He’s never told you what he sees in them when you’ve asked. You walk to the kitchen, grab a glass from one of the cabinets, and go back to the table to pour yourself some rum. As you pour it, you can’t find yourself disagreeing with him. Maybe you wouldn’t be so… neurotic if you just started every day with some alcohol. You take a sip – it’s fine, a bit off-putting this early into the day, but it slides down your throat easily. You think about Griffin’s perfect pours, and realize with a pang that one of the things you’ll miss most will be drinking at that dingy little bar. You walk to the sofa next to Augustus’ chair and take a seat, drinking a little more whiskey. You notice your leg bouncing until you finish licking a stray drop from [[the corner of your mouth->the first sip]].

“Clean life, that’s smart,” he nods sagely as he takes a sip of his rum. “Just ‘cause I’m here drinkin’ first thing in the mornin’ don’t mean you gotta.” Not like it got you very far in the end. You walk to the kitchen, grab a glass from one of the cabinets, and fill it up with water from the tap. You’ve tried to live a healthy life with no vices. That’s what they tell you leads to a long life, right? And yet here you are, sipping water on your last day, as if the illusion wasn’t shattered. If there’s a next life, perhaps you’ll let yourself have a bit more fun. As you watch Augustus continue to drink from his glass from afar, you hope he’s had some fun. He’s never slept well in the time you’ve known him, even before Mina died. Maybe the rum helps to calm him down enough to go to sleep. That’s what you hope, at least. You walk to the sofa next to Augustus’ chair and take a seat, sipping on your water for a moment. You notice your leg bouncing until you finish licking [[a stray drop->the first sip]] from the corner of your mouth.

You drink a bit more as you look around the dark room, the noise from the TV and Augustus’ rocking chair oddly soothing in the moment. Your eyes are drawn to… [[The butsudan for Mina.]] [[The various photos on the wall of Augustus’ army days.]] [[The Nintendo Switch on a table.]] [[You've finished looking at everything.]]

On one of the walls is a shrine dedicated to Mina. In the center is a photograph of her smiling as she holds Mei, ever so fluffy when she was just a tiny pup. Around it is a tiny bowl of white rice, a lit incense stick, and a cup filled with surely either green or earl gray tea, since they were her favorites. Seeing her shrine makes you feel: [[Upset.]] [[Comforted.]]

The colorless photographs of squads of men facing the camera stare back at you. Augustus has told you that even if he was never smiling, he always looked forward to those photos. “They were proof I hadn’t given out or given up yet,” he had said. They’re not the only photographs hanging on the wall, though. You decide to take a long look at the photograph: [[Of him smiling with a few friends.]] [[Of him posing with a rifle.]]

As is the case with several other things you’ve learned about him over the last decade, Augustus fell in love with video games because Mina introduced them to him. It’s because of that common love that you and Augustus became friends. He only plays on Nintendo systems, says they’re the easiest to grasp, but the Switch’s extensive library means he’s played a lot of your favorites over the years. You particularly love playing fighting games together — he has a wild competitive streak that keeps you on your toes. He’s a bit of a sore winner; he has no problem losing, but when he wins, you know you’re in for at least a solid minute of him boasting about how well he did. It’s one of your favorite things about him. You like fighting games, but your favorite genre is… [[Cozy games.]] [[MMOs.]] [[Competitive shooters.]]

It upsets you. You miss her — her zest for life, her sense of humor, her warmth. It wasn’t long after Papi died that Mina got the news that her time was running out. Not that you knew for some time; she only told you until right before it was too late. When she did, she paired it with a request: to do one final prank together. You said no to most things at the time, barely having the energy to run the farm, but you couldn’t say no to her. She had you buy gallons of red dye and pour it in the fountain of the valley’s plaza. You did it in the middle of the night so that the villagers woke up to a fountain that would spurt out “blood.” Mina pretended to be horrified as gossip among the village spread that the Harvest Goddess had finally decided to curse the village to [[its doom]].

It comforts you. A sadness is there, yes, but you’re comforted by your memories of her. By how much she loved life and making you smile. It wasn’t long after Papi died that Mina got the news that her time was running out. Not that you knew for some time; she only told you until right before it was too late. When she did, she paired it with a request: to do one final prank together. You said no to most things at the time, barely having the energy to run the farm, but you couldn’t say no to her. She had you buy gallons of red dye and pour it in the fountain of the valley’s plaza. You did it in the middle of the night so that the villagers woke up to a fountain that would spurt out “blood.” Mina pretended to be horrified as gossip among the village spread that the Harvest Goddess had finally decided to curse the village to [[its doom]].

After a week of suspense and little else, one of the village kids threw caution to the wind and flung himself into the fountain. Soon after, all the kids had bathed in the bloody water and proceeded to run around screaming at the adults like apparitions. In a rare act of finally giving a shit about the valley, the mayor ordered the fountain to be fixed. When he asked for the person responsible to come forward, only the summer cicadas answered. You remember laughing together with Mina over the sight of bloody children terrorizing the valley. Mina had smiled and said, “Now only you and Gus know what I’m truly capable of. That’s how I want to go.” And so she went, and took all those things you loved [[so dearly]] with her.

You look at it some more then curse lightly — you forgot, in the midst of everything, to bring a lily to put on the butsudan. You’ve always remembered… even if you’ve forgotten to stop by lately. Augustus isn’t the only person in this household whom you’ve let down. You never met either of your abuelas, but when Mina died, it felt like you had lost yours. “She goes, I go,” Augustus had said when she was first diagnosed with cancer. You thought the same, when Papi was sick. But you’re both still here. You wonder if it’s what [[he’s wanted->the first sip]].

They’re sitting around a campfire, spoons held in one hand and a can of beans in another. They look exhausted, grime and dirt and even what looks like blood staining their bodies and clothes. But they’re smiling at the camera. You wonder what it takes – to compartmentalize the things he must’ve done enough to be able to smile. As you look at the room around you, you doubt you’d have what it takes, and you’re thankful [[for that]].

Augustus stands tall and on his own while holding onto a massive rifle. He’s clean, serious, and determined — and younger-looking than in the rest of the photos. You’ve been in Augustus’ room and have seen a very similar rifle perched next to his bed. You wonder whether it’s brought him more comfort or more pain throughout [[his life->for that]].

Your eyes then drift over to the one of him in his uniform, smiling, as he holds onto a young Mina’s waist. They had met while he was stationed in Japan. “Get the fuck up, train, kill people, fall asleep to the noise of gunfire, rinse n’ repeat,” he had said. “You wonder what you’re fightin’ for. And then ya find it one day, without knowin’ you were lookin’.” Mina left her family for a life in America with Augustus. You never asked if she ever regretted it, but you’d like to think you found your answer among [[the kisses they’d pepper each other’s faces with->the first sip]] at random times of the day.

You enjoy the low stakes of cozy games. There’s enough violence in the real world, so you enjoy escaping into worlds where there is none. Delivering mail to cute characters, flying around in a beautiful and expansive world, organizing a living space — you appreciate the opportunities to forget your anxieties. Augustus finds it odd that you stay away from farming games. But if you had a choice, farming isn’t what you would do with your life in the real world. At least with video games, [[you can choose]].

This valley is where people go to die. It’s small and dull and easily forgotten, and MMOs allow you to forget that, at least for a little while. There’s so much to do in one — fighting in dungeons, dressing up your character, crafting items — but what you really love is the social aspect. The opportunity to interact with so many different kinds of people and learn about what life is like for them. You’re often awake well into the night playing an MMO. The illusion that you’re not as lonely as you think you are comes easier [[the next morning->you can choose]].

Nothing happens in this valley. It’s a dull place where people live dull lives and make plans for equally dull futures unless they’re able to escape. So, hey, what’s the harm in some excitement and adrenaline? At least you can feel good through the headshots you make and the teammates you heal. At least you can feel like you matter in a virtual world. Augustus loves shooters too; he has great aim, especially for his age. You choose to not think about who’s been on the other side of the scope when he’s shot in [[real life->you can choose]].

He once told you that playing games kept him going while he served. “All you need in life is some of them games and a pretty lady who makes you laugh,” he had said. You missed out on [[one->the first sip]] of those. You think about Aanya and wonder what she’s up to.

After a few more sips of your drink, you bring it with you to the kitchen and then hoist your bags onto the counter. The old pots and pans in the house practically sing to you, a hymn rather than an energetic song, letting you know that they’re exactly where you last saw them. You take them out, roll up your sleeves, and get started on making Augustus’ favorite: [[Japanese potato salad.]]

You take out the necessary ingredients: potatoes, carrots, onions, cucumbers, sliced ham, canned kernel corn, rice vinegar, kewpie mayo, and salt and pepper. You start by [[cooking the potatoes.->Cooking the potatoes.]]

You search for the peeler in the drawer with Mina’s kitchen tools, then use it to remove the skin of the potatoes. The sound of the peeling mixes with the hum of the TV, lulling the uncomfortable tingling in your body ever so slightly. The repetition helps — it’s always helped. Perhaps a bit too much. Once you’re eventually done, you move the potatoes into a saucepan and wash them under the sink. After doing so, you add enough water to cover them and add a pinch of salt, then set them to boil. How many minutes do you cook them for? [[20 minutes.]] [[12 minutes.]]

You decide to boil the potatoes for 12 minutes, setting a timer on your phone. Next, you slice the onions and cucumbers, move them over to a small bowl, and sprinkle with a bit of salt, then leave them for a few minutes. As you wait, you take a look at the kitchen. The kitchen towel featuring dozens of Shiba Inus that Mina picked out still hangs from the bar on the stove, as does the pair of Shiba Inu mittens hanging off a pin on the wall. After a few minutes have passed, you decide to… [[Leave them wet to ensure the salad is soft. ]] [[Drain them so that the salad isn’t soggy. ]] //(pls pick this one lol same thing//

The extra water can’t hurt. Augustus doesn’t have many teeth left, so maybe this way the potato salad will be easier for him to eat. Now you move on to slicing the cooked ham into small square pieces. You jump a little as you nearly slice off your finger – it’s been a while since you made this recipe, and cutting the little chunks tends to demand more focus than you have today. Your hands shake a bit – you want this meal to be good. It’s the last Japanese Potato Salad you’ll eat; the last meal you’ll eat [[with Augustus]].

You wash and drain well to remove the bitter taste and unwanted smell of the onions, as well as the extra water from the cucumbers. Too much water and the potato salad will get soggy – and you’d rather die than mess this meal up. Well, you’re going to die anyway. But still. Now you move on to slicing the cooked ham into small square pieces. You jump a little as you nearly slice off your finger – it’s been a while since you made this recipe, and cutting the little chunks tends to demand more focus than you have today. Your hands shake a bit – you want this meal to be good. It’s the last Japanese Potato Salad you’ll eat; the last meal you’ll eat with [[Augustus]].

Next, you cut the carrots into bite-sized pieces and then put them to cook in boiling water for a few minutes. As you wait, you scroll your phone and come across a video of two puppies rolling around in the mud. You huff a laugh before walking over to the recliner chair and showing your screen to Augustus. He squints at the screen. “Whose dogs are those?” [[“I don’t know.”]] [[“Some person on the internet.”]]

He hums. “Have you seen a picture of them? Are they safe?” [[“Not the point, Gus.”]] [[“I promise I’m using the internet safely.”]]

He grins. “Well, lovely dogs.” You chuckle at his reaction. Gus doesn't trust many things, the internet high on his very long list. You go back to the carrots and drain them, then wait a couple more minutes before draining the potatoes too. After transferring them into a bowl, you mash them while they’re still hot, pressing your fork into them over and over again until they’re broken up into tiny pieces. You add a bit of rice vinegar and some salt and pepper and mix it all together. Do you add all the ingredients, including the kewpie mayo, while the mash potatoes are still hot? [[Do it while they’re still hot.]] [[Wait for them to cool down.]]

You combine everything while the potatoes are still hot and put two servings of your Japanese Potato Salad on two plates. With your slightly clammy hands on your hips, you nod at yourself, pleased to have finished the job. You’re still not sure of the result, but there’s only one way to find out. You set the plates of food down and your drink on the wobbly dining table, looking over to Augustus. With effort, he gets up and shuffles over. “I’ll be damned,” he sighs. “A feast for a king, ain’t I lucky?” You smile, happy to make him feel special, and begin to dig in. He shakes his head after the first bite, then switches to nodding eagerly as he reaches for [[more->moree]].

You wait for the potatoes to cool down, then combine everything and put two servings of your Japanese Potato Salad on two plates. With your slightly clammy hands on your hips, you nod at yourself, pleased to have finished the job. You’re still not sure of the result, but there’s only one way to find out. You set the plates of food down and your drink on the wobbly dining table, looking over to Augustus. With effort, he gets up and shuffles over. “I’ll be damned,” he sighs. “A feast for a king, ain’t I lucky?” You smile, happy to make him feel special, and begin to dig in. He shakes his head after the first bite, then switches to nodding eagerly as he reaches for [[more]].

You take a bite of your potato salad. Immediately, you let out a sigh of relief. It's almost perfect. It'll never be perfect, that honor belonged to Mina, but this is a close second best. The flavors caress your tongue, no one ingredient overwhelming, and the textures sit comfortably, heavenly, inside your mouth. The grip on your spoon is firm as you pick up and eagerly take another bite. When you look at Augustus, he's eating as if he was back in the trenches again — the experience of eating a proper meal a holier one than praying to the Goddess. Silence overtakes the household, as warm as the food and familiar, while you eat. It doesn’t take long before you’ve both consumed everything on your plate. When you pick up your beverage and take a final sip, it goes through the wrong path. You end up choking a bit, reassuring Augustus when he looks over in concern, and work on recovering quickly so that you don’t look silly. There’s so many things you want to say. None of them go through the right path up your throat. After a few moments of collecting yourself, you face him. [[“How have you been?”]] [[“I needed to see you. You know how to drive back the darkness.”]] [[“I’ll just come out and say it: I’m dying, Gus.”]]

You take a bite and... it could be worse, but something feels wrong. There's too much moisture, the salad unleashing more water into than you'd like into the cavern of your mouth. It's not a tremendous amount of water, but it still feels like a river you wish was dried up. There's an unwelcome hint of oil too, likely from the mayo. You pick up another bite with hesitation. But when you look at Augustus, he's eating as if he was back in the trenches again — the experience of eating a proper meal a holier one than praying to the Goddess. Silence overtakes the household, as warm as the food and familiar, while you eat. It doesn’t take long before you’ve both consumed everything on your plate. When you pick up your beverage and take a final sip, it goes through the wrong path. You end up choking a bit, reassuring Augustus when he looks over in concern, and work on recovering quickly so that you don’t look silly. There’s so many things you want to say. None of them go through the right path up your throat. After a few moments of collecting yourself, you face him. [[“How have you been?”]] [[“I needed to see you. You know how to drive back the darkness.”]] [[“I’ll just come out and say it: I’m dying, Gus.”]]

You take a bite and... it's actually rather awful. There's too much moisture, the salad unleashing more water into than you'd like into the cavern of your mouth. It's not a tremendous amount of water, but it still feels like a river you wish was dried up. There's an unwelcome hint of oil too, likely from the mayo, and the flavors aren't mixing together the right way. You force yourself to pick up another bite. But when you look at Augustus, he's eating as if he was back in the trenches again — the experience of eating a proper meal a holier one than praying to the Goddess. Silence overtakes the household, as warm as the food and familiar, while you eat. It doesn’t take long before you’ve both consumed everything on your plate. When you pick up your beverage and take a final sip, it goes through the wrong path. You end up choking a bit, reassuring Augustus when he looks over in concern, and work on recovering quickly so that you don’t look silly. There’s so many things you want to say. None of them go through the right path up your throat. After a few moments of collecting yourself, you face him. [[“How have you been?”]] [[“I needed to see you. You know how to drive back the darkness.”]] [[“I’ll just come out and say it: I’m dying, Gus.”]]

You take a bite and... it could be worse, but something feels wrong. There's too much moisture, the salad unleashing more water into than you'd like into the cavern of your mouth. It's not a tremendous amount of water, but it still feels like a river you wish was dried up. But when you look at Augustus, he's eating as if he was back in the trenches again — the experience of eating a proper meal a holier one than praying to the Goddess. Silence overtakes the household, as warm as the food and familiar, while you eat. It doesn’t take long before you’ve both consumed everything on your plate. When you pick up your beverage and take a final sip, it goes through the wrong path. You end up choking a bit, reassuring Augustus when he looks over in concern, and work on recovering quickly so that you don’t look silly. There’s so many things you want to say. None of them go through the right path up your throat. After a few moments of collecting yourself, you face him. [[“How have you been?”]] [[“I needed to see you. You know how to drive back the darkness.”]] [[“I’ll just come out and say it: I’m dying, Gus.”]]

He hums. "You be careful now. You never know who's out there. They might be tryna sell your data." [["Don't worry, it's just a video."->“Not the point, Gus.” ]] [[“I promise I’m using the internet safely.” ]]

He hums. “Have you seen a picture of them? Are they safe?” [[“Not the point, Gus.” ]] [[“I promise I’m using the internet safely.” ]]

He hums. "You be careful now. You never know who's out there. They might be tryna sell your data." [["Don't worry, it's just a video."]] [[“I promise I’m using the internet safely.” ]]

He hums. “Have you seen a picture of them? Are they safe?” [[“Not the point, Gus.” ]] [[“I promise I’m using the internet safely.” ]]

“Not dead yet,” he chuckles. “Still kickin’. Even if no one’s ‘round to see it.” You imagine not shrouding himself and his home would help with that, but he’s told you that he hates the feeling of being watched. You also know that you could have been around more in the last few months, if you weren’t so preoccupied with feeling sorry for yourself. “But that’s not what you’re here for, ain’t it?” he asks. “How are ya doing, [[little star]]?” And so you tell him.

“Now I don’t know ‘bout that,” he chuckles as he looks around at the shadows of the objects in the room; of his past and present. You know he does, even if not quite so literally. He’s told you that he hates the feeling of being watched. He’s also told you stories of his life that you know you wouldn’t be able to overcome. All you've really known how to do is feel sorry for yourself in bed even before last night came. “What darkness do ya mean though, [[little star]]?” And so you tell him.

He chuckles. “Next you’ll say Mei’s ‘bout to bark outside to let me know she’s home.” But then he turns to you and sees the lack of humor on your face. He pauses, examining you. Seeing you. What a gift it is to be known. You wince as you think about how much more you would have enjoyed that feeling in the last few months if you hadn’t holed yourself up in your farm, feeling [[sorry->little star]] for yourself. And so you tell him.

“Well, I’ll be damned. Losin’ my only remainin’ party member, huh,” he huffs with little mirth. “I did see it, the dream from the Harvest Goddess. Seemed as real as the other nightmares. Thought that’s all it was.” You remember when the Harvest Goddess came to you the night before Papi died. She looks different to everyone, taking the form of someone or something beautiful as if to lessen the blow she’s going to strike. “How does it make ya feel?” he asks, breaking you out of your stupor. [[“Terrified. I don’t want to die.”]] [[“Angry. It’s not fair. There’s so much more I want to do. So much more life I want to live. And now I’m just fucking dying early.”]]

He nods solemnly, pulling out a cigar from his back pocket. He lights it up and takes a drag. Coughs a fair amount before wheezing,“Do ya believe in the afterlife?” [[“Nah.”]] [[“I do, actually.”]]

He takes another drag of his cigar, quiet for a moment, before saying, “That’s a damn shame. I wish I had the right words for you, sweetheart.” You nod, and then it’s quiet for some time. Eventually, he asks, “Do ya believe in the afterlife?” [[“Nah.” ]] [[“I do, actually.” ]]

“Maybe ya should,” he says, exhaling smoke. “Maybe this isn’t you no longer existin’, but the beginning of a new journey. Maybe you’re just startin’ that journey a youngin’.” You’ve tried to see it that way in the past. As you approach your end, you try to find comfort in it, but it doesn’t work. You just can’t help but think about… [[The nothingness.]] [[Being unable to say good morning to your animals.]] [[No longer being able to spend time with the people you love.]]

It’s true. You can’t separate the fear that there’s nothing waiting on the other side from this belief, but people’s beliefs stem from fear all the time. What is belief in a god if not the fear that they will not love you back? You try to find comfort in your own belief. You think about… [[Saying hi to Mina again. ]] [[Hugging Papi a bunch. ]] [[Having a conversation with your mother. ]]

“Maybe ya should,” he says, exhaling smoke. “Maybe this isn’t you no longer existin’, but the beginning of a new journey. Maybe you’re just startin’ that journey a youngin’.” You’ve tried to see it that way in the past. As you approach your end, you try to find comfort in it, but it doesn’t work. You just can’t help but think about… [[The nothingness. ]] [[Being unable to say good morning to your animals. ]] [[No longer being able to spend time with the people you love. ]]

It’s true. You can’t separate the fear that there’s nothing waiting on the other side from this belief, but people’s beliefs stem from fear all the time. What is belief in a god if not the fear that they will not love you back? You try to find comfort in your own belief. You think about… [[Saying hi to Mina again.]] [[Hugging Papi a bunch.]] [[Having a conversation with your mother.]]

You have to wonder if all that’s there when you die is just… nothing. If you’ll spend an eternity screaming only for no sound to come out. But wouldn’t it be worse if a sound did come out? Is that what God, or whoever is on the other side, does? Listen to the screams of the living and the dead all at once and learn to live with the noise? If you’ll freeze from the lack of touches from your loved ones. Or maybe loneliness will produce an anxiety that will crawl under your skin until it boils to the surface. What if it’s neither hot nor cold, if there’s no pain to let you know you still exist? You take in [[a breath->breath]], but not enough air comes in. It becomes difficult to get enough air at all. But Augustus’ voice is the little light that shines through.

Every day has looked largely the same for years now: waking up, spending time with your pets, tending to the chickens and chicks, looking after the cows and horses. It's been monotonous, tiring, even suffocating. And yet you find yourself desperate to hold onto that routine for a little longer. It's funny how being alive makes you want the day to go faster, while dying makes you want the day to go slower. You take in [[a breath->breath]], but not enough air comes in. It suddenly becomes difficult to get enough air at all. But Augustus’ voice is the little light that shines through.

You think about laying down in the grass of the forest with Jun, the silence gently sitting on your skin like dewdrops. Never uncomfortable, always welcome – as welcome as it is when Jun is the one who inevitably breaks it with their yapping. You know you’ll long for drinks with Aanya as she tells you about her life and you drink in every detail more than whatever cocktail is in front of you. Both of you get up early every day, but you’re always seeking one more minute with the prettiest girl in the valley. You’re going to miss Lottie. You’ll miss her checking in on you when you’re sick, giving you free seeds, and buying your favorite candy when she travels out of town. She always makes sure to get a bag and bring you souvenirs, maybe so that you feel like you’ve traveled with her too. And god, you’ll miss Augustus. It feels unfair to say that when you’ve had him here this whole time and haven’t seen him as much as you should. None of the excuses you had used truly matter now. You feel like you’re in a dream – like any moment now, you’ll wake up, it’ll be game over like in the games you play together, and you’ll be able to re-do life and spend more time with him properly. You take in [[a breath->breath]], but not enough air comes in. It suddenly becomes difficult to get enough air at all. But Augustus’ voice is the little light that shines through.

You have to wonder if all that’s there when you die is just… nothing. If you’ll spend an eternity screaming only for no sound to come out. But wouldn’t it be worse if a sound did come out? Is that what God, or whoever is on the other side, does? Listen to the screams of the living and the dead all at once and learn to live with the noise? If you’ll freeze from the lack of touches from your loved ones. Or maybe loneliness will produce an anxiety that will crawl under your skin until it boils to the surface. What if it’s neither hot nor cold, if there’s no pain to let you know you still exist? You take in [[a breath]], but not enough air comes in. It becomes difficult to get enough air at all. But Augustus’ voice is the little light that shines through.

Every day has looked largely the same for years now: waking up, spending time with your pets, tending to the chickens and chicks, looking after the cows and horses. It's been monotonous, tiring, even suffocating. And yet you find yourself desperate to hold onto that routine for a little longer. It's funny how being alive makes you want the day to go faster, while dying makes you want the day to go slower. You take in [[a breath]], but not enough air comes in. It suddenly becomes difficult to get enough air at all. But Augustus’ voice is the little light that shines through.

You think about laying down in the grass of the forest with Jun, the silence gently sitting on your skin like dewdrops. Never uncomfortable, always welcome – as welcome as it is when Jun is the one who inevitably breaks it with their yapping. You know you’ll long for drinks with Aanya as she tells you about her life and you drink in every detail more than whatever cocktail is in front of you. Both of you get up early every day, but you’re always seeking one more minute with the prettiest girl in the valley. You’re going to miss Lottie. You’ll miss her checking in on you when you’re sick, giving you free seeds, and buying your favorite candy when she travels out of town. She always makes sure to get a bag and bring you souvenirs, maybe so that you feel like you’ve traveled with her too. And god, you’ll miss Augustus. It feels unfair to say that when you’ve had him here this whole time and haven’t seen him as much as you should. None of the excuses you had used truly matter now. You feel like you’re in a dream – like any moment now, you’ll wake up, it’ll be game over like in the games you play together, and you’ll be able to re-do life and spend more time with him properly. You take in [[a breath]], but not enough air comes in. It suddenly becomes difficult to get enough air at all. But Augustus’ voice is the little light that shines through.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s still shitty as all hell,” he says, nodding. “But it helps to have somethin’ to look forward to [[on the other side]], don’t it?”

There are so many games that have come out since Mina died. You know she’d love hearing about many of them. There’s a particular match-3 game featuring hot dateable characters that you know she’d adore — she’d say she was old, but not blind. She was also an incredible source of gossip. “No one pays attention to old ladies, so old ladies know things about everyone,” she would say. She was the one who told you about Amir’s home circumstances, and it’s why you were determined to become friends with him — he needed another adult he could trust. And she was a hell of a fashionista. Could never afford the clothes she wanted, but she’d cut out clothing items from magazines and arrange them into stunning outfits. You hope she’s amassed an extensive wardrobe that she’s [[eager to show you]].

You’ve always wanted to hug him one last time, and now you might get to hug him all you want. He was a damn good hugger. He’d take you in his arms and shake you a little, as if his love for you was so big that he had to expel it. He’d always hold on tight, for no less than ten seconds, and he’d top it off with a bunch of tiny kisses on the top of your head. You [[desperately->eager to show you]] hope there’s something on the other side, and that it leads you back into his arms.

You don’t know if she’s dead. You don’t know if you want her to be dead. But if she is, maybe you could have a conversation. Just one. It wouldn’t hurt to have it. Then again, it wouldn’t hurt not to have it either. [[Whatever->eager to show you]].

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s still shitty as all hell,” he says, nodding. “But it helps to have somethin’ to look forward to [[on the other side]], don’t it?”

As he says the words, the loneliness you feel in this moment sinks in. You imagine how much loneliness he has felt, all on his own for the last few years. How you failed to do more to alleviate that feeling for him. It’s an ugly feeling. Coupled with the bitterness of regret, you feel acidic. Like a thing no one should digest. And yet here Augustus is, doing just that. Being your friend in your last few hours. You get up to wash the plates in the sink, Augustus going back to his rocking chair. When you’re done, you sit on the sofa next to him. [[In this final stage of your life, what are your regrets?]] [[In this final stage of your life, what are you most thankful for?]]

“Hmm,” he hums. “A lotta things, but off the top of my head… being a soldier, for one. Could’ve been a better husband.” He chuckles a bit. “And it’s damn silly, but I always think I could’ve given Mei more belly rubs.” [[Being a soldier.]] [[Being a better husband to Mina.]] [[Not giving Mei more affection.]]

“Hmm,” he hums. “A lotta things, but off the top of my head… My wife. Mei. Church.” [[Mina.]] [[Mei.]] [[Church.]]

You ask about being a soldier. “Don’t know if there was any other option… but if I could go back in time, I’d try findin’ it,” he says as he looks away. You wait for him to elaborate, but he simply takes another drag of his cigar. [[So you let it be->final]].

You ask about Mina. “I wasn’t– didn’t have the capacity to be… fully present, sometimes,” he says quietly. He drinks out of his glass for a long moment. “She was patient. More than I deserved,” he says, rubbing his face. “Spent a lifetime lovin’ her and tryin’ to make it up to her. Wasn’t enough. Might not be enough even if I spend another one doin’ the same when it’s my turn to go.” You place your hand over his, and he places his other hand on top of yours. “I’m not scared, little star. I’m just glad I get to see her again [[soon enough->final]].”

You ask about Mei. “Didn’t want one of them dogs at first,” he says. “You get one, you love it like hell, and then it dies.” He takes a drag. “But Mina was mighty convincin’. Said I had to stop sayin’ no to a dog if I wanted a wife. Didn’t have much of a choice,” he laughs. “Mei would lick your damn face off. Would only stop if ya stopped her, and even then, ya had to really push her away,” he says, a fond look on his face as he looks to the wall. “I’d never push her away now. Would just let her keep up her lickin’ as she damn pleases. It… helps, [[to be loved like that->final]].”

You ask about Mina. “I wasn’t– didn’t have the capacity to be… fully present, sometimes,” he says quietly as he looks down and plays with his wedding ring. “But she took care of me. Was my best friend. I’ve kept these walls dark for a long ass time, but they didn’t feel that way when she was around.” You place your hand over his, and he places his other hand on top of yours. “I’m not scared of dyin’, little star. I’m just glad I get to see her again [[soon enough->final]].”

You ask about church. “Don’t know if there was any other option to bein’ a soldier… but if I could go back in time, I’d try to find it,” he says as he looks away. “Since I couldn’t, I tried findin’ what would help me as I moved forward in time, you get me?” he says, taking a sip of his drink. “Eventually, I’d talk to Her every day. Don’t matter that she never answered. She’ll answer when she’s ready. That’s when I’ll need Her most.” You nod in understanding as he says, “Just hope she’ll forgive me for [[the pain I’ve caused->final]].”

You ask about Mei. “Didn’t want one of them dogs at first,” he says. “You get one, you love it like hell, and then it dies. Didn’t feel worth it.” He scratches his chin before saying, “But I had already told Mina no when she’d ask about gettin’ a dog too many times. Felt like it was either get a dog and keep my marriage or have no dog and no wife.” For a moment, he’s lost in thought. And then he gets up to pour himself some more rum. “So in the end, I got one, loved it like hell, and then it died. I was right. And damn wrong too.” He sits down and takes a sip, smacking his lips at the taste of the rum, and sighs. “Excited to see her again, give her all the affection I didn’t in [[this journey->final]].”

“Know what, though?” he eventually says as he takes a drink of his rum. “I’m awfully grateful you visited me today. You, my friend, made the reality better so that the nightmares were easier to weather.” The guilt has swam up from your gut and into your throat. You don’t know what’s right – to focus on expressing your gratitude, leaving him with an easier, better memory of you, or to just come out and apologize for how terrible you’ve been. [[Focus on the positive: “Thank you for everything.”]] [[Say what’s on your mind: “I’m so sorry I didn’t visit you more.”]]

He blinks rapidly for a few moments, then smiles gently. “No, thank you, little star. I’m glad we got to see each other one last time.” You long to say more, but it catches in your throat. For another day, perhaps. One more regret won’t kill you. You don’t want to make him uncomfortable, anyway. You sit in the comfortable silence for a while, his rocking consistent and reliable. When you point to the Nintendo Switch and look at him, he eagerly nods and sets it up. You pass the hours like that, playing games and quietly laughing together. It’s quiet, it’s nice, and it’s exactly what you need before facing the end.

He blinks rapidly for a few moments, then smiles gently. “Thank you, little star. You’re here now, and that’s what matters.” [[“But you needed me and I let you down.”]] [[“Why are you thanking me? I don’t deserve it.”]] [[Say nothing.]]

He pauses in rocking his chair. As he looks at you, the corners of his mouth turn up. “Think I haven’t let people down? Let Her down?” he says before looking down at the floor. “It’s our nature to let the people we love down at some point, and to be let down by ‘em.” He thinks for a moment, then begins rocking his chair again. “It’s also in our nature to be capable of lovin’ ‘em when it happens. We’re just bein’ human, you and I.” You sit in the comfortable silence for a while, his rocking consistent and reliable. When you point to the Nintendo Switch and look at him, he eagerly nods and sets it up. You pass the hours like that, playing games and laughing together. What begin as quiet chuckles evolve into laughs that fill up the emptiness of the house. It’s loud, it’s joyful, and it’s exactly what you need before you prepare to feel nothing at all.

You look around you as his words sink in. You’re glad you were able to say it before it was too late. Not making space for one more regret might be the most you can do today. At the end of everything, it’s something. You sit in the comfortable silence for a while, his rocking consistent and reliable. When you point to the Nintendo Switch and look at him, he eagerly nods and sets it up. You pass the hours like that, playing games and laughing together. What begin as quiet chuckles evolve into laughs that fill up the emptiness of the house. It’s loud, it’s joyful, and it’s exactly what you need before you prepare to feel nothing at all.

He pauses in rocking his chair. As he looks at you, the corners of his mouth turn up. “You’re the first person I’ve had a proper talk with since the last time you were here,” he says slowly before looking down at the floor. “We’re human. Not many things unite us, but ya best believe our terrible memory does.” He thinks for a moment, then begins rocking his chair again. “You remembered me before your time came. I’ll think of ya when mine does, too. Won’t take much longer now.” You sit in the comfortable silence for a while, his rocking consistent and reliable. When you point to the Nintendo Switch and look at him, he eagerly nods and sets it up. You pass the hours like that, playing games and laughing together. What begin as quiet chuckles evolve into laughs that fill up the emptiness of the house. It’s loud, it’s joyful, and it’s exactly what you need before you prepare to feel nothing at all.

You’ve always wanted to hug him one last time, and now you might get to hug him all you want. He was a damn good hugger. He’d take you in his arms and shake you a little, as if his love for you was so big that he had to expel it. He’d always hold on tight, for no less than ten seconds, and he’d top it off with a bunch of tiny kisses on the top of your head. You [[desperately->eager to show you ]] hope there’s something on the other side, and that it leads you back into his arms.

“But I know there’s no guarantees,” he says, breaking you out of your stupor. “It helps, but you’re still [[scared as all hell->on the other side]].”

You take a bite and... it's actually rather awful. The potatoes are more liquid than a soft solid. There's too much moisture, the salad unleashing more water into than you'd like into the cavern of your mouth. It's not a tremendous amount of water, but it still feels like a river you wish was dried up. There's an unwelcome hint of oil too, likely from the mayo, and the flavors aren't mixing together the right way. You force yourself to pick up another bite. But when you look at Augustus, he's eating as if he was back in the trenches again — the experience of eating a proper meal a holier one than praying to the Goddess. Silence overtakes the household, as warm as the food and familiar, while you eat. It doesn’t take long before you’ve both consumed everything on your plate. When you pick up your beverage and take a final sip, it goes through the wrong path. You end up choking a bit, reassuring Augustus when he looks over in concern, and work on recovering quickly so that you don’t look silly. There’s so many things you want to say. None of them go through the right path up your throat. After a few moments of collecting yourself, you face him. [[“How have you been?”]] [[“I needed to see you. You know how to drive back the darkness.”]] [[“I’ll just come out and say it: I’m dying, Gus.”]]

You take a bite and... it's actually rather awful. The potatoes are more liquid than a soft solid. There's too much moisture, the salad unleashing more water into than you'd like into the cavern of your mouth. It's not a tremendous amount of water, but it still feels like a river you wish was dried up. There's an unwelcome hint of oil too, likely from the mayo. You force yourself to pick up another bite. But when you look at Augustus, he's eating as if he was back in the trenches again — the experience of eating a proper meal a holier one than praying to the Goddess. Silence overtakes the household, as warm as the food and familiar, while you eat. It doesn’t take long before you’ve both consumed everything on your plate. When you pick up your beverage and take a final sip, it goes through the wrong path. You end up choking a bit, reassuring Augustus when he looks over in concern, and work on recovering quickly so that you don’t look silly. There’s so many things you want to say. None of them go through the right path up your throat. After a few moments of collecting yourself, you face him. [[“How have you been?”]] [[“I needed to see you. You know how to drive back the darkness.”]] [[“I’ll just come out and say it: I’m dying, Gus.”]]

You decide to boil the potatoes for 20 minutes, setting a timer on your phone. Next, you slice the onions and cucumbers, move them over to a small bowl, and sprinkle with a bit of salt, then leave them for a few minutes. As you wait, you take a look at the kitchen. The kitchen towel featuring dozens of Shiba Inus that Mina picked out still hangs from the bar on the stove, as does the pair of Shiba Inu mittens hanging off a pin on the wall. After a few minutes have passed, you decide to… [[Leave them wet to ensure the salad is soft.->soft]] [[Drain them so that the salad isn’t soggy. ->soggy]]

He hums. "You be careful now. You never know who's out there. They might be tryna sell your data." [["Don't worry, it's just a video." ]] [[“I promise I’m using the internet safely.” ]]

He hums. “Have you seen a picture of them? Are they safe?” [[“Not the point, Gus.” ]] [[“I promise I’m using the internet safely.” ]]

You take a bite of your potato salad. It's not disastrous, but you know you've made this better before. The potatoes are a bit too soft and there's a hint of oil from the separated mayonaise. Nonetheless, the flavors caress your tongue, no other ingredient overwhelming, and the textures sit comfortably, heavenly, inside your mouth. You shrug — not every meal can be a win — and take another bite. When you look at Augustus, he's eating as if he was back in the trenches again — the experience of eating a proper meal a holier one than praying to the Goddess. Silence overtakes the household, as warm as the food and familiar, while you eat. It doesn’t take long before you’ve both consumed everything on your plate. When you pick up your beverage and take a final sip, it goes through the wrong path. You end up choking a bit, reassuring Augustus when he looks over in concern, and work on recovering quickly so that you don’t look silly. There’s so many things you want to say. None of them go through the right path up your throat. After a few moments of collecting yourself, you face him. [[“How have you been?”]] [[“I needed to see you. You know how to drive back the darkness.”]] [[“I’ll just come out and say it: I’m dying, Gus.”]]

You take a bite of your potato salad. You feel mostly relieved. The potatoes are a bit too soft, but everything else is perfect. The flavors caress your tongue, no one ingredient overwhelming, and the textures sit comfortably, heavenly, inside your mouth. The grip on your spoon is relatively firm as you pick up and eagerly take another bite. When you look at Augustus, he's eating as if he was back in the trenches again — the experience of eating a proper meal a holier one than praying to the Goddess. Silence overtakes the household, as warm as the food and familiar, while you eat. It doesn’t take long before you’ve both consumed everything on your plate. When you pick up your beverage and take a final sip, it goes through the wrong path. You end up choking a bit, reassuring Augustus when he looks over in concern, and work on recovering quickly so that you don’t look silly. There’s so many things you want to say. None of them go through the right path up your throat. After a few moments of collecting yourself, you face him. [[“How have you been?”]] [[“I needed to see you. You know how to drive back the darkness.”]] [[“I’ll just come out and say it: I’m dying, Gus.”]]

(font: 'Times New Roman')+(css: "font-size: 200%")+(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[Forget Me Not](font: 'Times New Roman')+(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")+(align:"=><=")[[(an original Twine game inspired by Harvest Moon)->Untitled Passage 2]]]

When your father passed away several years ago, you took over the family farm. Today is a Wednesday, which would be like any other day in your monotonous life if it weren't for the dream you had last night. The valley's Harvest Goddess has picked you as the next human she'll pluck. Lucky you. You have until the end of the day to get your affairs in order before you die. Before then, you have one thing you absolutely [[need to do->Augustus1]].

You hear some shuffling toward the door, and then the sound of the first lock. Then the second, the third, the fourth… and finally the door knob turns. You stand face to face with Augustus, his back more curved over since you last saw him in… February? March? A good few months, you think, as a chilly late autumn breeze whispers in your ear that it’s been too long. His dark skin looks ashen. The hair on his head is thinning, but his beard could almost resemble a scarf. He grins at you, the smile reaching his eyes despite how dim they look. The slight gap in his teeth as he smiles fills you with a warm fondness. “I ain’t see no four-legged friends, but I do see a little star,” he says. “What can ol' Gus help you with?” [[“Nothing at all. I’m just here to visit you.”]] [[“Can I come in and spend time with my favorite gentleman of the valley?”]] [[“I didn’t bring my dog this time, but if you’ll have me, I’d love to hang out.”]]