How to survive a family dinner

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You’ve come to visit your hometown in Northern Russia after living abroad for several years. Your parents have been waiting for this day — and tonight they’re throwing a family dinner. All the close relatives are invited! But you’d better hurry — the taxi is already waiting outside, and you’re still not dressed. You open your closet and consider: [[A velvet dress in a shade of Noble Malachite|Dress][$Feet = "Платье"]] [[Pants and a button-up shirt|Shirt]] [[Jeans and a hoodie with a quote from Navalny on it|Sweatshot]] <<script>> Config.history.maxStates = 1; <</script>> <<set $showAchievementsButton to true>> <<script>> if (!document.getElementById("floating-achievement")) { $("body").append('<div id="floating-achievement"></div>'); } <</script>>

You put on the dress, take a look in the mirror, and mentally prepare for a lovely evening. YOU: //They’re my relatives. I love them, and they love me. I can make it through the night.// <<set $WearDress to true>> [[Leave the house|Taxi]]

You put on pants and button-up shirt, take a look at the mirror, and mentally prepare for a lovely evening. YOU: //They’re my relatives. I love them, and they love me. I can make it through the night.// <<set $Shirt to true>> [[Leave the house|Taxi]]

You put on jeans and a “Love is stronger than fear” hoodie — a quote by Navalny — take a look in the mirror, and mentally prepare for a lovely evening. YOU: //They’re my relatives. I love them, and they love me. I can make it through the night.// <<set $Sweatshot to true>> [[Leave the house|Taxi]]

MOM: //Oh my God, finally! My sweet girl — we’ve missed you so much!// Your mom greets you with joy, and the rest of the family starts coming out of the living room: your dad, grandma, uncle and his wife. Your younger brother waves from the couch. You spot your grandpa dozing in an armchair. Everyone gives you a long look from head to toe… MOM: //Oh, dear! You look so pale! Do you eat properly, sweetheart?// You assure her that everything’s fine — it’s just the color of your shirt. [[Enter the room |EnterRoom]] <<set $Patience -= 10>>

MOM: //Oh my God, finally! My sweet girl — we’ve missed you so much!// Your mom greets you with joy, and the rest of the family starts coming out of the living room: your dad, grandma, uncle and his wife. Your younger brother waves from the couch. You spot your grandpa dozing in an armchair. Everyone gives you a long look from head to toe… Your uncle frowns, reading the line across your hoodie. UNCLE: //Well, guess he got what was coming to him.// Home, sweet home… [[Enter the room |EnterRoom]] <<set $Patience -= 20>>

You jump into the taxi just in time — before the driver starts the meter. Nice move! But now comes the real challenge: surviving the family dinner. Take a look ''at the progress bars on the left side of the screen''. Every response you give will affect your mood, physical state, and relationship with your relatives. If your Patience drops to zero — the dinner is over for you. Good luck! <<set $ShowStats to true>> <<if $WearDress is true>>[[Start the dinner|Meet_Dress]]<</if>><<if $Shirt is true>>[[Start the dinner|Meet_Shirt]]<</if>><<if $Sweatshot is true>>[[Start the dinner|Meet_Sweatshot]]<</if>>

MOM: //Oh my God, finally! My sweet girl — we’ve missed you so much!// Your mom greets you with joy, and the rest of the family starts coming out of the living room: your dad, grandma, uncle and his wife. Your younger brother waves from the couch. You spot your grandpa dozing in an armchair. Everyone gives you a long look from head to toe… DAD: //So... are all the guys in your city taken, Sunshine?// You awkwardly adjust your neckline and blush. [[Enter the room|EnterRoom]] <<set $Patience -= 10>> <<replace "#bars">> <<print $progressbars()>> <</replace>>

You take a seat at the table between your mom and younger brother — safely away from your uncle, to avoid any political debates. Your dad offers you a drink. Choose your beverage: [[A glass of wine|Wine]] [[Grandma’s homemade kombucha|Combucha]] [[Lemonade|Lemonade]]

<<set $Patience to 100>> <<set $Humor to 5>> <<set $Intox to 0>> <<set $Nost to 0>> <<set $progressbars to function() { return ` <div id="progress-container"> <div style="margin-bottom: 10px;"> Patience: <progress class="bar-patience" max="100" value="${Math.max($Patience, 0)}"></progress> ${Math.max($Patience, 0)} </div> <div style="margin-bottom: 10px;"> Sense of humor: <progress class="bar-humor" max="5" value="${Math.max($Humor, 0)}"></progress> ${Math.max($Humor, 0)} </div> <div style="margin-bottom: 10px;"> Intoxication: <progress class="bar-intox" max="10" value="${Math.max($Intox, 0)}"></progress> ${Math.max($Intox, 0)} </div> <div style="margin-bottom: 10px;"> Nostalgia: <progress class="bar-nost" max="10" value="${Math.max($Nost, 0)}"></progress> ${Math.max($Nost, 0)} </div> <div id="achievements-button-container"> <button id="achievements-btn" onclick="SugarCube.State.variables.returnStack.push(SugarCube.State.passage); SugarCube.Engine.play('Achievements');"> 🏆 Achievements </button> </div> </div> ` }>> <<set $achievementsUnlocked to []>> <<set $allAchievements to [ { id: "combucha", name: "Kombucha", img: "https://i.postimg.cc/bNmsD44g/kombucha-1.png" }, { id: "dog", name: "Fridge Magnet", img: "https://i.postimg.cc/TwjPRsrr/Dog.png" }, { id: "sky", name: "Pin", img: "https://i.postimg.cc/6pwxKQM1/sky-achiv.png" }, { id: "odeyalo", name: "Blanket", img: "https://i.postimg.cc/FztnxPqn/odeyalko-achiv.png" }, { id: "udochka", name: "Fishing Rod", img: "https://i.postimg.cc/brHL9q1s/udochka-Achiv.png" }, { id: "album", name: "Photo Album", img: "https://i.postimg.cc/NGpHmyHR/album.png" }, { id: "nomer", name: "Phone Number", img: "https://i.postimg.cc/SKF2kCBb/nomer-achiv.png" }, { id: "samolet", name: "Paper Planes", img: "https://i.postimg.cc/WzhbM1B7/samolet.png" }, { id: "varezhki", name: "Mittens", img: "https://i.postimg.cc/L5w4vMRF/varezhki.png" }, { id: "salut", name: "Fireworks", img: "https://i.postimg.cc/1zsmvBxX/salut.png" } ]>> <<set $returnStack to []>> <<script>> if (!localStorage.getItem("myAchievements")) { localStorage.setItem("myAchievements", "[]"); } State.variables.achievementsUnlocked = JSON.parse(localStorage.getItem("myAchievements")); <</script>>

You sip your glass of wine and start seeing things in a slightly more optimistic light. The conversations ahead don’t seem quite as soul-crushing anymore. But careful — it’s easy to go too far with alcohol. [[Keep the evening going|Help_Mother]] <<set $Patience += 5>> <<set $Intox +=2>>

You take a sip of Grandma’s kombucha, and boom — you’re eight years old again. Back when you were growing your own jellyfish in a jar of sweet tea and checking on it every day like it was your pet. A warm wave of nostalgia washes over you… Or maybe that’s just the kombucha messing with your brain. <img src="https://i.postimg.cc/Pq4SztPD/combucha.gif" alt="Kombucha" width="150" /> [[Keep the evening going|Help_Mother]] <<if !$achievementsUnlocked.includes("combucha")>> <<run $achievementsUnlocked.push("combucha")>> <<run localStorage.setItem("myAchievements", JSON.stringify($achievementsUnlocked))>> <<script>> $("#floating-achievement") .text("Achievement unlocked!") .fadeIn(300).delay(2500).fadeOut(300); <</script>><<set $Patience += 5>><<set $Intox += 1>><<set $Nost += 1>> <</if>>

You take a sip of lemonade — trying to stay sharp. UNCLE: //Not drinking? Something wrong with you?// YOU: //Just not in the mood for alcohol.// [[Keep the evening going|Help_Mother]] <<set $Patience -= 10>>

Mom rushes off to the kitchen to bring out the main course. Everyone at the table is busy chatting. Maybe you should go help her? [[Go to the kitchen|To the Kitchen]] [[Ask your brother instead|Stay]]

Mom is happy to have your help, and together you pull the chicken out of the oven. While she slices the meat, the two of you start reminiscing — like that New Year’s Eve when your dog Jack stole and ate the whole chicken, and you had to rush him to the vet. He ended up being fine, but everyone had to settle for dumplings instead. Dad joked about making something “Korean-style,” but Mom didn’t find it funny. You take a slightly faded fridge magnet and run your fingers over the little plastic head of the dog. YOU: //I miss Jack.// MOM: //Me too.// <img src="https://i.postimg.cc/HkqWXRGy/dog.gif" alt="Dog" width="150" /> [[Go back to the room|To the Room]] <<if !$achievementsUnlocked.includes("dog")>> <<run $achievementsUnlocked.push("dog")>><<run localStorage.setItem("myAchievements", JSON.stringify($achievementsUnlocked))>><<script>> $("#floating-achievement") .text("Achievement unlocked!") .fadeIn(300).delay(2500).fadeOut(300); <</script>><<set $Patience += 5>><<set $Nost += 1>><</if>>

YOU: //Why don’t you go help Mom?// BROTHER: //Why me? You go if you care so much!// [[Sigh heavily|To the Room]] <<set $Patience -= 10>>

Mom walks into the room with a steaming roast chicken — dinner is officially on. MOM: //Sweetheart, what can I get you?// Choose your dish: [[Salad->Food][$Dish = "Салат"]] [[Chicken with potatoes->Food][$Dish = "Курица с картошкой"]] [[Kholodets->Food][$Dish = "Холодец"]]

<<goto "Serve">>

<<if $Dish == "Салат">> MOM: //Just salad? That’s not gonna fill you up! I’ll add a little chicken and some kholodets too.// [[Okay, Mom|Okay]] <<set $Patience -= 10>> <<elseif $Dish == "Курица с картошкой">> MOM: //Just chicken? You’ll be starving in an hour! I’ll add some salad and a bit of kholodets too.// [[Okay, Mom|Okay]] <<set $Patience -= 10>> <<elseif $Dish == "Холодец">> MOM: //Just kholodets? That’s barely a snack! Let me give you some chicken and salad too.// [[Okay, Mom|Okay]] <<set $Patience -= 10>> <</if>>

For a few minutes, everyone’s just busy with their food. Then your uncle breaks the silence. UNCLE: //So... you gonna tell us anything, or what? How’s it going over there?// [[Lie|DelaLie]] [[Be honest|DelaHonest]] [[Get aggressive|DelaAgressive]] [[Make a joke|DelaFun]] [[Let’s just have a drink|DelaDrink]]

You talk about how slow the bureaucracy is — how you’re still waiting on the paperwork you need. You talk about how expensive rent is, and how without a car, you’re basically stuck. You talk about how hard it is to make real friends there — and how much you hate small talk about the weather. Silence falls over the table again. MOM: //I planted some new tomatoes this year. That Anfisa Sergeyevna had a really good crop last time — we’ll see how ours do. They’re called “Bull’s Heart.” Not sure if they’ll get enough sun.// DAD: //If not, we’ll get you one of those purple lamps.// MOM: //She’s got one of those already! You think that’s why hers turned out so good?// [[Back to your plate|Skydive]] <<set $Patience -= 20>>

YOU: //Oh, everything’s great!// You go through a quick list of what you’ve been up to this past month: you tell them you’ve been working on your driver’s license; you tell them about feeding squirrels at the park; you tell them how you went to the movies; you tell them about doing morning yoga; you tell them you’re quitting... ...actually, no. You skip that part. GRANDMA: //Well, thank God! Zinaida keeps asking me how you’re doing over there… and I never know what to say!// [[Say hi to Zinaida|Bormotuha]] <<set $Patience -= 10>>

YOU: //The wheels are turning, the office is churning.// Your uncle laughs — he hasn’t heard that one in ages. Looks like you’ve managed to dodge the uncomfortable conversation. [[Laugh along with him|Bormotuha]] <<set $Humor -= 1>>

YOU: //Don’t we have anything else to talk about? My brother just got into college — why don’t you grill him for a change?// GRANDMA: //But we’ve missed you, sweetie!// YOU: //Can I at least eat first?// [[Bury your face in your plate|Bormotuha]] <<set $Patience -= 30>>

You raise your glass and take a sip of wine. [[Cheers!|Bormotuha]] <<set $Intox +=2>> <<set $Patience +=5>>

Grandma leaves the room and comes back holding a faded black-and-white photo. It shows a young woman jumping out of a plane — her face isn’t visible, the shot is taken from behind. YOU: //Oh, I remember this one! That’s your friend from college, right?// Grandma pulls a Soviet skydiver badge out of her pocket. YOU: //Grandma???// GRANDMA: //It was terrifying, really... but I clenched my teeth and jumped. It’s always scary at first — but youth is made for doing foolish things!// YOU: //Why didn’t you ever tell me about this?// GRANDMA: //Oh, I don’t know… just never came up…// <img src="https://i.postimg.cc/xTq97nnm/badge.gif" alt="Badge" width="150" /> [[Keep the evening going|Bormotuha]] <<if !$achievementsUnlocked.includes("sky")>> <<run $achievementsUnlocked.push("sky")>><<run localStorage.setItem("myAchievements", JSON.stringify($achievementsUnlocked))>><<script>> $("#floating-achievement") .text("Achievement unlocked!") .fadeIn(300).delay(2500).fadeOut(300); <</script>><<set $Patience += 10>><<set $Nost += 1>><</if>>

Dad slips out of the room and gives you a sly wink. Mom rolls her eyes. MOM: //He’s been fussing over that stuff for a whole month — took up all my jars!// Dad comes back holding a frosty glass jar. DAD: //Here you go, Sunshine! Homemade chokeberry liqueur. My own special recipe — with a secret ingredient!// MOM: //He adds nightshade. Poisonous berry.// DAD: //It’s not poisonous if you heat it! And the aroma — unmatched!// He pops the lid and holds the jar under your nose. You nod approvingly and give him a thumbs-up. DAD: //Told you! We’ll be bottling it for sale soon. Someone pass a shot glass — let’s get our girl a proper tasting!// [[Take a sip|Drink]] [[Politely decline|DontDrink]]

You take a sip — a pleasant warmth spreads through your body. DAD: //What did I tell you? Pure stuff!// YOU: //Hey, maybe we should actually start a little liqueur business. You’ll handle the brewing, Mom can do the accounting, I’ll take care of branding — and my brother can be the delivery guy!// BROTHER: //Delivery guy?! I’m the CEO!// YOU: //Graduate college first, Mr. CEO.// BROTHER: //MO-O-OM! // [[Keep the evening going|Kishechnik]] <<set $Intox +=3>> <<set $Patience +=10>>

YOU: //I don’t really drink hard liquor.// Dad looks a little disappointed that his masterpiece went unappreciated. He quietly takes the jar and carries it back out to the balcony. [[Sorry, Dad|Kishechnik]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

You notice your uncle's wife watching you from across the table. UNCLE'S WIFE: //Darling, are you feeling okay? You’ve lost weight, and those dark circles… I know a fantastic nutritionist! You know what’s a huge issue with young women these days?// You shake your head, dreading the answer. UNCLE'S WIFE: //Leaky gut syndrome. Want me to book you an appointment?// Choose your response: [[Lie|LieKish]] [[Be honest|HonestKish]] [[Get aggressive|AgressiveKish]] [[Make a joke|FunKish]] [[Let’s just have a drink|DrinkKish]]

YOU: //Oh wow — is that a real thing? Please, I need the number of this miracle doctor! Leaky gut has ruined too many lives already!// Your uncle's wife seems pleasantly surprised you didn’t even argue. UNCLE'S WIFE: //Write this down — Natalia Alexandrovna. She’s written books too, but don’t buy them — I’ll lend you mine!// YOU: //Thank you, you’re a lifesaver!// You delete the note the moment you save it. Natalia Alexandrovna probably has plenty of patients already. [[Sigh with relief|Personal]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

YOU: //Leaky gut? So that’s why I’m so skinny! Dad says I’ve probably got a giant tapeworm living inside me.// Dad gives you a conspiratorial wink. DAD: //Let’s go fishing tomorrow, Sunshine. We won’t even need to dig for worms!// Everyone bursts out laughing — except your aunt. And just like that, the leaky gut is forgotten. [[Ew-w-w-w|Personal]] <<set $Humor -=1>>

You raise your glass and take a sip of wine. [[Cheers!|Personal]] <<set $Intox +=2>> <<set $Patience +=5>>

YOU: //Lately I’ve been working a lot and barely sleeping. Have you heard about the layoffs in game dev?// The whole family shakes their heads. YOU: //One of my coworkers got laid off last month — and he’d just relocated! Now he has to find a new job fast or he might lose his residency.// For a moment, silence hangs over the table. UNCLE: //They don’t treat you like people over there! Back in the Soviet Union…// [[Sigh heavily|Personal]] <<set $Patience -=20>>

Your uncle's wife finishes her soup and neatly crosses her utensils on the plate. She once told you she took etiquette classes — to learn how to “eat like someone of high rank.” UNCLE'S WIFE: //Darling, how’s your personal life? Have you met anyone yet?// UNCLE:// Careful — that might overgrow!// Choose your response: [[Lie|LiePersonal]] [[Be honest|HonestPersonal]] [[Make a joke|FunPersonal]] [[Get aggressive|AgressivePersonal]] [[Let’s just have a drink|DrinkPersonal]]

YOU: //Oh please. I’m not about to take advice from someone claiming to be with the H.I.P.S. Institute.// Your uncle's wife tries to be offended, but curiosity gets the better of her. UNCLE'S WIFE: //What’s that supposed to be?// YOU: //High-Impact Persuasion for Suckers. // Your uncle's wife presses her lips together and turns stiffly to her husband. You can be sure she’ll bring this up again the moment you’re out of the room. Your mom’s face quietly says: Where did I go wrong? [[Keep the evening going|Personal]] <<set $Patience -=30>>

YOU: //I’ve been seeing someone for a couple of months. Don’t want to jinx it, but so far, so good.// MOM: //Sweetheart, you never mentioned anyone… What’s his name? What does he do?// You glance away — and spot a jar of “Uncle Vanya” pickles on the table. YOU: //Vanya. We met on Tinder. He’s a programmer. I was going to say something once we moved in together. He’s living with family for now.// MOM: //That’s actually a good sign! If he’s close with his family, he’ll make a good husband.// <<link "Eat <span class='strike'>Vanya</span> a pickle">> <<goto "Vania">> <</link>> <<set $Patience -=10>>

YOU: //I went on a couple of dates, but nothing really worked out. There was one guy I liked, but then he just stopped replying.// Your uncle’s wife gives you a look full of sympathy. UNCLE'S WIFE: //Well, then you must’ve done something wrong. First impressions matter — nice dress, heels, makeup…// YOU: //After work? You expect me to put on heels and do my makeup?// UNCLE'S WIFE: //Of course! A woman needs male attention — without it, she just withers.// She wraps an arm around your uncle and gazes up at him adoringly. UNCLE: //If there’s anyone who doesn’t have to worry about attention, it’s you, Pumpkin!// UNCLE'S WIFE: //Don’t worry, darling — you’ll find someone too!// [[Hopefully someone better|Rodi][$PersonalLife = "Ready"]] <<set $Patience -=20>>

YOU: //Maybe I’ve been married for years and have three kids already.// Your uncle's wife eyes you with suspicion. YOU: //Well, you haven’t seen me in ages. Next time I’ll bring the whole gang. You’ll watch them for a bit, won’t you?// UNCLE'S WIFE: //Oh no, children screaming gives me migraines!// [[Phew, dodged that one|Rodi][$PersonalLife = "Ready"]] <<set $Humor -=1>>

YOU: //Wait… didn’t I tell you I’m a lesbian?// Your uncle's wife and uncle both widen their eyes in shock. Your uncle's wife leans toward her husband and whispers — just loud enough for you to hear: UNCLE'S WIFE: //I always knew something was off about her.// MOM: //Sweetheart, is that true?// YOU: //I’m kidding, Mom. But if you don’t change the subject, I might start seriously considering it.// [[To be honest, I’ve been thinking about it|Rodi][$PersonalLife = "Ready"]] <<set $Patience -=30>>

You raise your glass and take a sip of wine. [[Cheers!|Rodi][$PersonalLife = "Ready"]] <<set $Intox +=2>> <<set $Patience +=5>>

UNCLE'S WIFE: //Well, are you at least going to show us a picture?// [[We don’t have any photos together|NoPhoto]] [[Show a photo of Timothée Chalamet|Shalame]] [[Generate one with AI|AI]] [[Show a picture of a friend|Friend]]

YOU: //We just don’t really take photos.// Your uncle's wife gives you a skeptical look. UNCLE'S WIFE: //What do you mean? Not a single photo? I don’t buy it!// UNCLE: //What’s there to explain? He’s obviously with the secret service!// [[Agree|AgreePhoto]] [[Disagree|DisagreePhoto]]

You show them a photo of Timothée Chalamet. UNCLE'S WIFE: //So young!// GRANDMA: //Such a handsome boy!// UNCLE'S WIFE: //Which means he’s a player. A good-looking man is a man for everyone. Sooner or later he’ll find someone younger. I get it, woman to woman… Just enjoy it while it lasts.// [[Thanks|Rodi]] <<set $Patience -= 10>>

You quickly open ChatGPT and type: “Generate an image of a typical IT guy.” A few seconds later, the AI gives you a photo of a tired, bearded man in glasses, sitting at a computer. UNCLE'S WIFE: //Does he have diabetes or something? His face looks kind of puffy…// YOU: //I don’t think so.// UNCLE'S WIFE: //Well, keep an eye on his diet anyway. I can already see signs. Anyone in his family ever had it?// YOU: //I don’t know!// UNCLE'S WIFE: //What do you mean, you don’t know? You haven’t introduced him yet?// YOU: //Not yet.// UNCLE'S WIFE: //Tsk-tsk! Then it’s not serious. Until a man meets your mother — he doesn’t really count.// [[Okay|Rodi]] <<set $Patience -= 20>>

You pull up your friend’s social media profile and hand your phone to your uncle's wife. UNCLE'S WIFE: //I can’t see from that far — I’ve got astigmatism. Bring it closer, let me take a proper look!// [[Hand her the phone|GivePhone]] [[Hold on to the phone|DontGivePhone]]

YOU: //How did you guess? That’s right — he works for a special agency. Not allowed to be photographed.// UNCLE: //So you got yourself a spy now? He works for their government! He’s wrapped you around his finger, you silly girl, and now he’s digging for our secrets. Don’t you dare tell him anything!// [[Alright|Rodi]] <<set $Patience -= 20>>

YOU: //Have you all lost your minds? He just doesn’t like taking pictures — and now you’ve made him FBI?// UNCLE'S WIFE: //Or maybe… there is no Vanya at all?// She looks at you, clearly unsure what to believe. YOU (crunching on a pickle): //Vanya Schrödinger.// Your uncle's wife pulls out her phone, ready to investigate. UNCLE'S WIFE: //Is he German or something?// [[Keep the evening going|Rodi]] <<set $Patience -= 20>>

GRANDMA: //At your age, your mother already had you in school...// You help yourself to more salad to dodge the question. YOU (chewing): //Whash you tryin’ t’say, grams?// GRANDMA: //Sweetie, you’re not getting any younger. And the older you get, the more... women’s problems you’ll have.// [[Lie|LieDeti]] [[Be honest|HonestDeti]] [[Respond threateningly|AgressiveDeti]] [[Make a joke|FunDeti]] [[Let’s just have a drink|DrinkDeti]]

You hand the phone to your uncle's wife. UNCLE'S WIFE: //Not bad! He’s tall — that’s a plus!// She keeps scrolling through the photos. UNCLE'S WIFE: //Oh, and who’s this?// It’s your friend Artyom, hugging his wife. YOU: //That’s his sister.// UNCLE'S WIFE: Really? //They do look alike…// She scrolls again and sees a wedding photo. UNCLE'S WIFE: //Wait — he’s married?!// YOU: //Well… I just didn’t mention it right away. We’re polyamorous. Vanya has a wife, but she’s totally fine with him dating me.// UNCLE'S WIFE: //Ugh, that’s disgusting! Perverts!// GRANDMA: //You need to go to church…// [[Keep the evening going|Rodi]] <<set $Patience -= 30>>

You let your uncle's wife look through the photos — without handing over your phone. UNCLE'S WIFE: //Not bad! He’s tall. Blue eyes, right?// YOU: //Yeah, light-colored.// UNCLE'S WIFE: //That’s good. If it’s a girl, blue is definitely better.// YOU: //Why’s that?// UNCLE'S WIFE: //Well, sorry to say it — but sky blue beats… poop brown!// YOU: //Mm-hmm. Thanks. In case you didn’t notice, my eyes are brown.// UNCLE'S WIFE: //Oh, I didn’t mean it like that! But you have to admit — blue would be prettier. And hey, there are so many colored contact lenses these days…// [[Keep the evening going|Rodi]] <<set $Patience -= 30>>

YOU: //Grandma, I’m working on it. I’m just trying to find the right father. Can we not talk about it right now? It’s a sensitive topic for me…// Your brother barely holds back a laugh and kicks you under the table — hard enough to bring tears to your eyes. Grandma takes that as a sign that you’re speaking from the heart. GRANDMA: //Of course, sweetheart! God willing! I’ll light a candle for you tomorrow — to the Holy Mother!// You feel a pang of guilt for fooling her so easily. [[I’m sorry, Grandma|ProverkaPersonal]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

YOU: //We’ve been over this. I don’t even have a husband!// GRANDMA: //Sweetie, babies are born from love, not from some stamp in a passport.// YOU: //Grandma!// You look to your dad, hoping for support. DAD: //Hey, if she’s not ready, why push? Sunshine, you should’ve seen the fish I caught yesterday…// GRANDMA: //Women who haven’t given birth are twice as likely to get uterine cancer!// YOU: //Where did you even get that from?!// GRANDMA: //They said it on TV!// [[The world is a terrifying place|Odeyalo]] <<set $Patience -=20>>

YOU: //If I hear that question one more time, I swear I’ll never have kids. I’ll go get my tubes tied tomorrow!// Grandma presses her lips together, clearly offended. UNCLE'S WIFE: //Actually, that’s not legal before 35.// YOU: //There’s going to be some loophole to do it earlier!// Your uncle's wife beams with satisfaction, pleased with her logic. UNCLE'S WIFE: //Well, you can always have two kids first!// [[Not that much time left till 35 anyway|ProverkaPersonal]] <<set $Patience -=30>>

YOU: //Grandma, I can barely handle my inner child — and you want me to raise a real one?// GRANDMA: //What kind of child is that?// YOU: //A metaphysical one. Like a version of me as a kid — with all the fears, wants, and old trauma. Sometimes it gets in the way — throws tantrums and stuff.// Grandma reaches deep into the ancestral memory bank. GRANDMA: //Well, sit that child across a bench and give them a good smack with a birch broom!// YOU: //Grandma! You can’t raise children like that — not even the internal ones!// GRANDMA: //Not even a little?// YOU: //Not at all!// Grandma falls silent, trying to wrap her head around modern parenting theories — and forgets what she was asking in the first place. [[Keep the evening going|ProverkaPersonal]] <<set $Humor -=1>>

You raise your glass and take a sip of wine. [[Cheers!|ProverkaPersonal]] <<set $Patience +=5>> <<set $Intox +=2>>

Suddenly, Grandma gets up and leaves the room. She returns a moment later holding a small bundle. A wave of sweet lavender hits your nose. GRANDMA: //Sweetie, do you remember what this is?// [[Take a closer look at the bundle|RassmotrOdeyalo]]

You recognize the blanket from old baby photos. Hard to believe it’s still around after all these years! Grandma tells you how, in the first days after you were born, there was a bitter frost — the pipes froze, and the apartment was freezing. Your dad went out and bought a camel wool blanket to keep you warm. YOU: //It’s so scratchy!// She opens the blanket — and a small paper packet falls out. GRANDMA: //Your very first haircut!// YOU: //I don’t know if that’s sweet or kind of creepy. Grandma, why on earth did you keep it?// GRANDMA: //To keep the evil eye away, Sweetie! Your mom had one too. And so did I.// <img src="https://i.postimg.cc/wTP9YZjG/odeyalko.gif" alt="Odeyalo" width="150" /> [[Take that, evil spirits!!|ProverkaPersonal]] <<if !$achievementsUnlocked.includes("odeyalo")>> <<run $achievementsUnlocked.push("odeyalo")>><<run localStorage.setItem("myAchievements", JSON.stringify($achievementsUnlocked))>> <<script>> $("#floating-achievement") .text("Achievement unlocked!") .fadeIn(300).delay(2500).fadeOut(300); <</script>><<set $Patience +=5>><<set $Nost +=1>><</if>>

<<if $PersonalLife == "Ready">> <<goto "Sosed">> <<else>> <<goto "TV">> <</if>>

You nervously twist a napkin in your hands, avoiding eye contact with your aunt and uncle. Unexpected help comes from Grandma. GRANDMA: //What’s on TV these days? Sweetie, the remote’s near you, right? Turn something on!// You grab the remote and switch on the TV: [[News|News]] [[The Hidden Truth Channel|Ren]] [[Fishing Show|Fish]] [[Music Channel|Music]] [[Folk Medicine Today|Health]]

<<if $Feet == "Платье">> A knock at the door. MOM: //Sunshine, can you get that, please?// Click-click! Standing at the door is a guy about your age. Plaid shirt, slacks… and for some reason — slippers. GUY: //Hi. I’m your downstairs neighbor. Ilya.// He holds out his hand — you shake it automatically. His palm is sticky. You quickly wipe your hand on your dress, hoping he doesn’t notice. ILYA: //I came for some salt. My mom sent me…// [[Close the door|Close]] [[Let him in|Open]] <<else>> A knock at the door. MOM: //Sunshine, can you get that, please?// Click-click! Standing at the door is a guy about your age. Plaid shirt, slacks… and for some reason — slippers. GUY: //Hi. I’m your downstairs neighbor. Ilya.// Ilya holds out his hand — you shake it without thinking. His palm is sticky. You quickly wipe your hand on your pants, hoping he doesn’t notice. ILYA: //I came for some salt. My mom sent me…// [[Close the door|Close]] [[Let him in|Open]] <</if>>

YOU: //You’re kinda suspicious, Ilya. I’m not letting you in.// You’re just about to close the door when your mom rushes out from the kitchen. MOM: //Ilyusha, sweetie! It’s been forever! Look how much you’ve grown! Sunshine, don’t you remember? You two used to play in the sandbox together!// You don’t. YOU: //Mom, I’ll just grab the salt — Ilya’s mom asked for it.// MOM: //Dear, come on now, don’t just stand there. Come in — we’ve got food on the table!// She nods toward you. MOM: //Go talk to someone your own age — no need to hang around with us old folks all night.// [[Back to the room|BackRoom]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

YOU: //Come on in. I’ll go get the salt.// Suddenly, your mom rushes out of the room. MOM: //Ilyusha, sweetie! It’s been ages! You’ve grown so much! Sweetheart, don’t you remember? You two used to play in the sandbox together!// You don’t. YOU: //Mom, I’ll just grab the salt — Ilya’s mom asked for it.// MOM: //Dear, come on now, don’t just stand there. Come in! We’ve got food on the table!// She nods toward you. MOM: //Go talk to someone your own age — no need to hang around with us old folks all night.// [[Back to the room|BackRoom]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

Your mom pulls out a chair and makes space next to you — that’s where Ilya ends up sitting. Everyone else at the table is busy chatting with each other, so Ilyusha… is yours to deal with. ILYA: //So, what do you do?// [[Lie|LifeLie]] [[Be honest|LifeHonest]] [[Make a joke|LifeFun]] [[Get aggressive|LifeAgressive]] [[Let’s just have a drink|LifeDrink]]

You’re not in the mood to talk to Ilya about your actual job, so you decide to make up something believable. YOU: //I’m a… pastry chef! See that cake? I made it.// ILYA: //Beautiful and you can cook? Are you married?// The question’s rhetorical — he already noticed there's no ring on your right hand. YOU: //Not planning on it anytime soon.// Ilya visibly perks up. [[Keep the evening going|Serious]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

YOU: // I work in game development as a narrative designer. It’s like a game designer, but I also write the story.// ILYA: //Аh, IT. One of those “smart guy” jobs.// YOU: //“Smart girl” job, actually.// ILYA: //Why mess with the language? Just say it normal — no need to make up words.// You decide not to get into a debate about inclusive language. YOU: //Ahem. So, what do you do?// ILYA: //You could say I’m exploring my options.// YOU: //Like, business?// ILYA: //Nah, just living with my mom.// [[Keep the evening going|Serious]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

YOU: // I’m a wealthy widow. My husband died, and now I’m stuck with… spending.// ILYA: //You were married? What did he die of?// YOU: // If I tell you, I’ll have to pay you to keep quiet…// Ilya stares at you for a few seconds, confused — then bursts out laughing. ILYA: //You’re funny!// [[Keep the evening going|Serious]] <<set $Humor -=1>>

YOU: //Dude, who even are you for me to be talking to you about my personal life? The only thing I remember from our childhood is you peeing your pants in the yard.// ILYA: //That never happened!// YOU: //Oh, it did. I remember thinking, “Wow, such a big boy — and he wet himself!” How are things now, by the way? Still struggling with bladder control?// ILYA: //Yeah right — like I’d be into some washed-up chick like you!// The neighbor storms off and slams the door. [[Close the door|Bye]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

You raise your glass and take a sip of wine. [[Cheers!|Serious]] <<set $Intox -=2>> <<set $Patience +=5>>

ILYA: //I’ll be honest — I’m a serious guy, and I’m not here to waste time. You’re interesting, but let’s face it — we don’t have forever. Especially you. Women age faster. So how about we meet again and talk about the future?// [[Agree to the date|DateAgree]] [[No thanks. I'm not interested|DateDisagree]]

You barely manage to shut the door before a hailstorm of pounding rains down on it. YOU: //Knock your own head, you idiot.// But then you hear angry voices — women shouting. MOM: //It’s Ilyusha’s mother. You’d better open up.// You open the door, and a furious whirlwind bursts into the apartment — Anfisa Sergeyevna. Ilyusha lingers nervously behind her. NEIGHBOR:// We came to you nicely, and your daughter insults us?// YOU: //Mom?// NEIGHBOR: //She’s the one who wanted you to date!// You stare at your mom, confused. MOM: //I meant well! I thought you'd chat... You're from the same town, the same age...// NEIGHBOR: //We don’t want a daughter-in-law like that! Come, son.// The furious neighbor storms off. You take a deep breath and decide... [[Go back to your room|TV]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

YOU: //No plans, so... ¿por qué no?// ILYA: //Whoa, what was that? You speak Spanish or something? I studied Spanish in school, but never used it.// YOU: //What about traveling?// ILYA:// What do I need abroad for? I’d rather chill at the Black Sea. There’s this old woman down there, rents out a room dirt cheap. Could take you too — if you behave!// YOU: //So what about the date?// You suggest: [[A restaurant|Rest]] [[Hanging out at home|Home]] [[A walk in the park|Park]]

YOU: //I’m not really looking for a relationship right now.// ILYA: //Yeah, me neither. But maybe this is fate, huh? Look — we’re from the same town. That’s one.// He starts counting on his fingers. ILYA: //We live close to each other. That’s two.// YOU: //I don’t actually live here — I’m just visiting my parents.// ILYA: //Well, you won’t be staying there forever, right? You’ve got a degree — that’s three. We know your family — four. Do you smoke?// YOU: //No...// ILYA:// Me neither. That’s five, then. Look, I’m not a millionaire — but you’re not exactly a beauty queen either, let’s be real. Convinced yet?// [[Get lost, jerk|NoDate]] [[Fine. Let’s go on a date|DateAgree]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

YOU: //How about going to a restaurant? There’s a nice Georgian place nearby. Ever been?// ILYA: //Nah, I usually eat at home. My mom’s a great cook!// YOU: //Got it. Well, this’ll be a new experience for you, then! Does 6 PM work?// ILYA: //Yeah. Are we each paying for ourselves?// [[Split the check|Popolam]] [[I don’t date guys who go Dutch|NoPopolam]]

YOU: //No need to go far — we live right next to each other anyway.// ILYA: //True! Your place or mine?// [[Your place. And make me dinner!|YourPlace]] [[My place. I’ll cook something for us|MyPlace]]

YOU: //How about a walk in the park? It’s such a nice day — no point staying cooped up inside.// ILYA: //Really? You're not even gonna demand I take you to a restaurant?// YOU: //What’s so great about restaurants? Just a waste of money. It’s better to eat at home.// ILYA: //Exactly what I think! Most girls are so materialistic nowadays — but you’re different... You’re special!// YOU: //You’re making me blush…// ILYA: //No, I mean it! I’ve never met a girl like you before!// [[Keep the evening going|Offer]]

YOU: //Didn’t you get it the first time? I’m not looking for a relationship — especially not with you.// ILYA:// You’re nuts… Think guys are gonna line up for you at your age?// YOU: //Ilyusha, the exit’s right there. Bye.// ILYA: //Fine. Stay alone then.// YOU: //Need help finding the door?// Ilya leaves, clearly offended. [[Keep the evening going|Bye]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

YOU: //Of course I’ll pay for myself! I can even pay for you!// ILYA: //Feels a bit weird... I mean, I’m a man.// YOU: //Which means life is so much harder for you than for me! Order whatever you want!// A whirlwind of unimaginable possibilities flashes before his eyes. ILYA: //Really? Even dessert?// YOU //Absolutely! And later tonight, I’ll give you a massage!// ILYA: //I thought I’d never meet someone like you…// [[Keep the evening going|Offer]]

YOU: //I can split the bill with my girlfriends. This is a date!// ILYA: //Yeah, but what if you order five thousand rubles worth of food, and I have to pay for it? If you were my girlfriend or wife, sure, I’d cover it. But what if this goes nowhere? I’d be wasting money on you.// YOU: //Dude, if paying for dinner is a problem for you at your age, I’ve got bad news.// Ilya's face turns beet red with rage. ILYA: //Looking for a simp, huh? Just a gold digger!// YOU: //Reminder: you’re in my place right now, eating food my mom made. So, who’s the real gold digger here?// ILYA: //Fine! Enjoy your life alone with forty cats!// Offended, Ilya slams the door on his way out. [[Keep the evening going|TV]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

YOU: //Since you’re our guest tonight, maybe you could invite me over tomorrow?// ILYA: //Whoa, that fast?// YOU: //I meant for dinner!// ILYA: //Cooking’s not really a guy’s job. But I can let you use my kitchen — whip something up yourself.// YOU: //Yeah, I’ll pass. I don’t cook at home at all.// Ilya stares at you in disbelief. YOU: //And I’ll go even further — I have a cleaning service come once a week.// ILYA: //So you don’t do anything yourself!// YOU: //Do you clean your place?// ILYA: //Me? Hell no! I’d never touch a mop!// YOU: //Thought so. We’re clearly not a match.// ILYA:// Obviously! You can’t cook, you don’t clean — what would I want with someone like that?!// YOU: //Door’s that way. Bye.// Offended, Ilya slams the door behind him as he leaves. [[Keep the evening going|TV]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

YOU: //Come over tomorrow — I’ll cook dinner.// ILYA: //Really? Won’t your parents mind?// YOU: //I’ll buy them movie tickets. We’ll have a couple of hours all to ourselves.// ILYA: //Just so you know, I’m allergic to fish!// YOU: //How about steak?// ILYA: //Sure, but make sure it’s not bloody.// YOU: //Well done. Got it.// ILYA: //And fries on the side.// YOU: //I was thinking grilled veggies...// ILYA: //You can make those for yourself. I want fries.// [[Keep the evening going|Offer]]

ILYA: //Will you marry me?// [[Kindly say no|KindDeny]] [[Tell him off|AgressiveDeny]] [[Say yes, sincerely|HonestAgree]] [[Say yes, sarcastically|IronicAgree]]

YOU: //Ilya, you’re a good guy, but I’m just not ready for a serious relationship right now.// ILYA: //What’s the holdup?// YOU: //I think we should get to know each other first — then maybe talk about marriage.// ILYA: //What about our grandparents? They got married right away and stayed together for life!// YOU: //They stayed because getting divorced was shameful back then!// ILYA: //You never meant any of it, did you?// YOU: //You’ll definitely find the right girl. I’m just not her.// ILYA: //Fine. I’m out. Got a game with the guys in half an hour anyway.// Ilya leaves. [[Keep the evening going|TV]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

YOU: //You live with your mom, your mom cooks, your mom cleans — what’s next, does she wipe your ass too?// ILYA: //You bitch! No one’s gonna want you, you dried-up hag!// YOU: //Have you looked in the mirror lately? We’re the same age.// ILYA: //A man stays a man till he's old. You? After thirty, you're already a shriveled prune!// YOU: //Maybe you should be looking for a husband, not a wife?// ILYA: //Go fuck yourself!// YOU: //After you. Door’s right there.// Ilya storms out, slamming the door behind him. [[Keep the evening going|Bye]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

YOU: //I do!// A few minutes later, your cheerful neighbor Anfisa Sergeyevna rushes in — and you announce the engagement to your families. MOM: //Sweetheart, don’t you think this is a bit too soon?// YOU: //I’ve been looking for Ilyusha my whole life — I can’t wait another day! // You and your fiancé kiss and move into his apartment (Anfisa Sergeyevna will stay as a guest for now). There’s not much to celebrate though — Ilyusha isn’t exactly dream husband material. You leave the family dinner and unlock the ''“Bride”'' achievement! THE END

YOU: //Yeah, sure.// ILYA: //Great! Then you’re staying over tonight — test drive and all that. We’ll hit the registry office in the morning.// YOU: //Ilyusha, go home. // ILYA: //Just say it — are you marrying me or not?// YOU: //No.// ILYA: //Then stop messing with my head. I wasted my time on you, and I’ve got a game with the guys anyway.// Annoyed, Ilya storms off. [[Keep the evening going|TV]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

TV: A Soviet Il-2 ground attack aircraft will be on display at the World War II Aviation Exhibition at the National Air and Space Museum in Washington. This was announced by museum spokesperson Allison Wood. “Yes, we are planning to feature the Il-2 at the exhibition,” she told our correspondent. UNCLE: //The Americans haven’t forgotten who really won the war! Trump’s a real man of the world — can’t wait till he kicks all those liberal leeches to the curb!// UNCLE'S WIFE: // It’s insane over there right now! Did you know they’re forcing little kids to change their gender? Turning them into... Transformers or whatever!// You try not to get involved, but you notice your uncle and his wife staring right at you. YOU: //I haven’t actually met a single transgender child. // UNCLE'S WIFE: //With the tech they’ve got now — you can’t even tell the difference anymore!// [[Stay quiet|Album]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

TV: People often think of cursing as just a part of everyday speech. But what if every swear word you say is actually altering your DNA? What if obscene language triggers biological processes that could lead to terrifying consequences? You're watching Shocking Hypotheses. Uncle's wife leans toward the TV. TV: If you look at the frequencies emitted by curse words, you’ll see they match certain vibrations recorded at top-secret military sites! It’s possible we’re dealing with a technology that infiltrates the human mind through simple language! You take advantage of the pause to mop up the leftover salad dressing with a piece of bread. Splat! A glob of mayo lands right on your lap. YOU: //Shit!// UNCLE'S WIFE: //They got to you too...// [[Thanks, Elon|Album]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

TV: Today I’ll show you how to turn an ordinary maggot into an aromatic, irresistible maggot — perfect for any type of water: cold, warm, you name it. The fish won’t be able to resist! Dad scoots closer to the TV. TV: To prepare the aromatic maggot, you’ll need: your maggot, a glass of water, a spoon, a regular newspaper… and some wood shavings. Mine are from a fruit tree, but use whatever you’ve got. Just don’t go too coarse. And the most important ingredient — sweetened condensed milk! DAD: //Do we still have any condensed milk left?// MOM: // Half a can, I think.// DAD: //Perfect. I’ll go fishing tomorrow.// YOU: //And where are you getting the maggots?// DAD: //Oh, we’ve got a whole fridge full of them!// You nearly gag on your salad. [[Gross|Ribalka]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

You see a pair of leather-clad buttocks and bleached hair bouncing on the screen. You instantly recognize the country’s top propaganda pop star. Grandma gazes at the TV, lovestruck. GRANDMA:// Oh, I just adore him! If only I were fifty years younger!// YOU: //Grandma, he’s already taken. That romance of his? All over the tabloids.// GRANDMA: //So what! They’re a beautiful couple! You can just tell they’re nice people!// You squint at the bouncy figure on stage and notice his bizarre outfit — oddly reminiscent of a Hitler Youth uniform. YOU: //Wait, is he actually a Nazi?// Now Grandma leans forward, narrowing her eyes at the screen. GRANDMA: //Lord have mercy! What nonsense you’re saying! If they’re filming it, then it must be the way it should be!// [[You’re so naive, Grandma|Album]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

TV: At first, I didn’t even tell my wife. She’s a huge skeptic. Because really — if you don’t understand the mechanism, you’d never imagine you could cure something using urine. Grandma leans in closer to the screen. TV: But once I changed my diet — it completely transformed! The smell disappeared, the taste changed... Like tea! And when you reduce it, it starts to smell like incense! Of course, children’s urine is the most effective in that regard. Grandma turns to you and your brother. BROTHER: //But I smoke, Grandma!// YOU: //And I’m older!// BROTHER: //“I’m older, I’m older!”// He mocks you in a shrill, annoying voice. [[I think I’ll stick to science|Album]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

Grandma asks you to turn off the TV — “nothing good on anyway,” she says with a wave of her hand. GRANDMA: //I was going through your old photos the other day — finally got them all in order. Bought a new photo album too, the old one fell apart ages ago. Your grandpa brought it back from East Germany, remember?// Grandpa is napping with his mouth slightly open. You reach out to wake him, but Grandma stops you. GRANDMA: //Don’t wake him — he’ll just start snoring. God forgive me. I’ll go grab the album, you’ll want to see it.// [[Bring it on|YesAlbum]] [[Please, no...|NoAlbum]]

DAD: //So, how about we go fishing tomorrow, Sunshine? I’ll set the alarm for 4 a.m. We’ll head out by 5.// BROTHER: //No way she’s getting up that early!// [[No way I’m waking up that early|NoRibalka]] [[Watch me! I’ll be up!|YesRybalka]]

YOU:// Nah, I’ll pass. You can buy fish at the store.// DAD: //You’ve got no sense of fishing romance in you...// [[Keep the evening going|Album]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

YOU: //Watch me! I will wake up!// DAD: //Attagirl! That’s the spirit!// Dad leaves and comes back a minute later with an assortment of fishing rods. MOM: //The whole pantry’s full of them — I’ve got no space left for the jars!// Dad lovingly sorts through the rods. DAD: //My winter setup — just a jig on the line. Perfect for smelt, when they head up the Dvina in spring. For pike, you need open water... I’ve got an old spinning rod for that. The reel jams sometimes, but the line holds. // Suddenly, you spot a bright red rod painted like a roly-poly toy. DAD: //Your very first rod! Remember how much you caught that day? We could barely carry it all home!// YOU: //Dad, come on! I know you were sneaking fish into my bucket!// DAD: //No way. That was all your dad’s genes — born angler, that’s what you are!// YOU: //Well then. Let’s test it tomorrow!// <img src="https://i.postimg.cc/RZH4Sd3V/fish.gif" alt="Udochka" width="150" /> [[Keep the evening going|Album]] <<if !$achievementsUnlocked.includes("udochka")>> <<run $achievementsUnlocked.push("udochka")>><<run localStorage.setItem("myAchievements", JSON.stringify($achievementsUnlocked))>><<script>> $("#floating-achievement") .text("Achievement unlocked!") .fadeIn(300).delay(2500).fadeOut(300); <</script>><<set $Nost +=1>><<set $Patience +=10>><</if>>

YOU: //Grandma, we’ve seen these pictures a million times. Let’s just sit in silence for once.// Everyone goes quiet for a whole minute. And then... UNCLE: //We really screwed up this country...// [[We should’ve just stuck to the album|Rabota]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

Grandma brings over a photo album, and you all start looking through it together. <div style="text-align: center;"> <img src="https://i.postimg.cc/MKT1d6wG/Heart-1.png" alt="Heart" width="450" /> <img src="https://i.postimg.cc/VNP1dtM9/album.gif" alt="Album" width="150" /> </div> [[I missed you so much!|Rabota]] <<if !$achievementsUnlocked.includes("album")>> <<run $achievementsUnlocked.push("album")>><<run localStorage.setItem("myAchievements", JSON.stringify($achievementsUnlocked))>> <<script>> $("#floating-achievement") .text("Achievement unlocked!") .fadeIn(300).delay(2500).fadeOut(300); <</script>><<set $Nost +=1>><<set $Patience +=10>><</if>>

It’s dessert time. Grandma brewed tea with blackcurrant leaves, and Mom made your favorite honey cake — the taste of childhood! DAD: //So how’s work going, Sunshine?// [[Lie|LieRabota]] [[Be honest|HonestRabota]] [[Make a joke|FunRabota]] [[Get aggressive|AgressiveRabota]] [[Let’s just have a drink|DrinkRabota]]

Things aren’t going great at work, but you don’t feel like talking about it. YOU: //Everything’s great!// MOM: //Thank God! So many people are struggling to find a job these days. Zhenya, your classmate — she worked as a janitor at a factory for a whole year just to get into accounting!// Zhenya was your friend back in gymnasium. She always got better grades than you and graduated with honors — second-best in her class. YOU: //No way. A college graduate working as a janitor?// UNCLE:// That piece of paper means nothing. It’s all about kissing the right ass.// MOM: //I’m just so glad you’re doing well, Sweetheart. You’re such a smart girl!// [[If only, Mom… if only|BratTalk]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

You feel awkward bringing it up, but you decide to admit you’re thinking of changing jobs. YOU: //I’ve been there for three years, and there’s no growth at all. It’s like Groundhog Day — except the tasks keep piling up.// UNCLE: //They still pay you, don’t they?// YOU: //For now, yeah. But they’ve started letting people go — quietly. No one’s saying anything out loud, but who knows what’ll happen in six months or a year.// MOM: //Sweetheart, if you’re getting paid — stay put! In our town, even factory jobs require “connections.” Zhenya, your classmate — she worked as a janitor at a factory for a whole year just to get into accounting!// Zhenya was your friend back in gymnasium. She always got better grades than you and graduated second in class. YOU: //A janitor? With a college degree?// UNCLE: //You can wipe your ass with a degree these days. It’s all about who you know.// MOM: //So stay where you are. Be patient.// [[Thanks for the support|HelpUncle]] <<set $Patience -=20>>

YOU: //The moment I land myself a rich IT guy — I’m quitting!// DAD: //Just don’t forget about me and your mom, Sunshine... // MOM: //Kolya! What on earth are you saying?// DAD:// You’re right, you’re right. She’ll need at least an oligarch. We didn’t raise her in a dumpster, after all.// Everyone laughs, even though Mom hit Dad with her ultimate warning weapon: “NIKOLAY!” Then she laughed too. [[Change the subject|BratTalk]] <<set $Humor -=1>>

Things aren’t going great at work, but you don’t feel like talking about it. YOU: //Could you show at least a shred of tact and leave me alone? Or is “tact” just not a thing in THIS FAMILY?// MOM: //Sweetheart, what’s wrong? We’re just worried about you!// YOU: //And what good is that going to do? Is your worry going to magically get me a raise? A promotion?// DAD: //If she doesn’t want to talk, then don’t push her. Leave the kid alone.// He watches you with concern but doesn’t say a word. [[Thanks, Dad|BratTalk]] <<set $Patience -=30>>

You raise your glass and take a sip of wine. [[Cheers!|BratTalk]] <<set $Intox +=2>> <<set $Patience +=5>>

Suddenly, your uncle pulls you aside. UNCLE:// Listen, girl. If you end up out of a job — call this number.// UNCLE:(lowering his voice): //Galya. Tell her I sent you.// YOU: //Why are you whispering?// UNCLE:// Don’t want my wife to hear. Me and Galya, well... we used to have a thing. She’s a good woman. Real sharp. Didn’t even speak the language, and still managed to open a business over there.// You’ve got a million questions, but you decide to stick to the point for now. YOU: //What kind of business?// UNCLE:// Cleaning. Started with houses — now she’s doing offices and shopping malls. Doesn’t mop floors herself anymore, hired a bunch of Latinos. Now she jabbers away in their tongue like she was born there. If things get rough, text her. Just… don’t tell my wife, okay?// You pretend to zip your lips shut. <img src="https://i.postimg.cc/LXHpVMxn/phone.gif" alt="Phone" width="150" /> [[Keep the evening going|BratTalk]] <<if !$achievementsUnlocked.includes("nomer")>> <<run $achievementsUnlocked.push("nomer")>><<run localStorage.setItem("myAchievements", JSON.stringify($achievementsUnlocked))>><<script>> $("#floating-achievement") .text("Achievement unlocked!") .fadeIn(300).delay(2500).fadeOut(300); <</script>><<set $Nost +=1>><<set $Patience +=5>><</if>>

Out of the blue, your brother says he needs to talk to you. Just the two of you. You step out onto the balcony, where no one can overhear you. He lights a cigarette and offers you one. BROTHER: //Relax, I won’t snitch to Mom.// [[Refuse|DontSmoke]] [[Take the cigarette|Smoke]]

As soon as your brother lights up, Mom bursts onto the balcony. MOM: //Not in my house, young man!// BROTHER: //Mooom, why can Dad smoke and I can’t?// MOM: //Because I said so! Move out, then do whatever you want!// She snatches the cigarette from his hand and tosses it out the window. MOM: //Be more like your sister!// [[Smoking is bad for your health|Tema]] <<set $Patience +=5>>

Your brother lights your cigarette like a gentleman, then lights one for himself. YOU: // Does Mom let you smoke now?// BROTHER: //What’s she gonna do? I’m an adult.// You used to smoke on this very balcony too — but always hid your cigarettes from your parents. Suddenly, Mom bursts onto the balcony. MOM: //Who said you could smoke out here?// BROTHER: //It was all her!// YOU: //Are you serious right now?// Mom grabs your cigarette first, then your brother’s. She puts them out with dramatic flair and tosses them out the window. MOM: //Not in my house! // At the doorway, she turns and gives you a deeply disappointed look. MOM:// You, daughter — I didn’t expect this from you!// [[Come on!|Tema]] <<set $Patience -=20>>

Your brother scoots closer and pulls up a map of Russia on his phone. BROTHER: //I’ve got something big. You can triple your money in a year — if you get in early. It’s a bull trend right now, the profits are going to the moon!// He zooms in on the map and stops at Dagestan. YOU: //Wait, what? Are you starting a farm or something?// BROTHER: //A crypto farm! Here’s the plan: we buy a house in Dagestan, start mining, and get rich! // YOU: //Why Dagestan?// BROTHER: //Well... it’s not exactly legal. But it’s a mountain village — perfect spot. // YOU: //And what do you want from me?// He opens his photo gallery and shows you a brick house with no windows. BROTHER: //The location is perfect. Close to a substation, barely any neighbors. Sure, it needs a bit of work, but it’s already wired up! I just need three mil to start.// YOU: //You want me to give you three million rubles?// BROTHER: //Okay, sounds crazy at first — but think about it: 3x in a year! I wouldn’t pitch this to just anyone... but you’re my sister.// [[I’m in!|TemaYes]] [[Sounds sketchy…|TemaConcern]] [[Tell Mom|TalkMom]] [[Make a joke|Fun]]

YOU: //Triple the money, huh…// BROTHER: //At the very least!// You picture what you could do with that kind of return: put it toward a bigger apartment… trade in your car… help out your parents... YOU: //Alright, deal. When do you need the money?// BROTHER: //Honestly? Right now works. The sooner we buy the house, the sooner the money starts rolling in!// You open your banking app and transfer him three million. YOU: //And if it all goes south?// BROTHER: //Come on, you think I didn’t do my homework before bringing this to you? Chill, sis — it’s gonna be... chikibamboni!// [[Okay|LoveBrat][$Deal = "YesDeal"]]

YOU: //Did you just say this isn’t exactly legal?// BROTHER:// Weeell, there’s a catch. If you do it by the book, you gotta register a business, pay taxes, and the electricity rates are way higher. Plus, the locals start complaining. Any blackout — and they blame the miners right away. // No need to think twice. YOU:// Alright, little brother. I’m not giving you a single ruble. If someone finds the equipment, it’s a criminal charge!// BROTHER: //Worst case? Two years probation, tops.// YOU: //I’m not about to ruin my life for this.// BROTHER: //Knew you’d chicken out. Eh, whatever.// [[Shrug|LoveBrat]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

YOU: //Wait — did you just say this isn’t exactly legal?// BROTHER: //Weeell, there’s a catch. If you wanna do it by the book, you have to register a business, pay taxes — and the electricity bills are way higher. Plus, the locals start whining. Any power outage — and guess who they blame? The miners. // YOU: //Listen, little brother. I’m not giving you any money, and I seriously advise you to stay out of this shady mess. If someone finds the gear, it’s a criminal offense!// BROTHER: //Worst case? Two years probation, tops.// YOU: //Our parents are paying for your education so you can end up with a record?! MOOOOM!// Mom walks out onto the balcony. YOU: //Did you know you’ve got a felon living under your roof?// MOM: //What?! Who?!// You tell her about your brother’s plan. Someone’s in for a serious talk tonight. [[Go back to the room|Navsegda]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

YOU: //Come on, bro — 3x isn’t serious! Have you seen the prices lately? What am I supposed to do with six lousy mil? Make it 5x, at least!// BROTHER: //Can’t promise that. Not yet. // YOU: //Well, if you come up with something better — give me a call.// Your brother scratches his head, thinking. BROTHER: //You’ve gotten kinda materialistic, you know that?// [[Shrug|LoveBrat]] <<set $Humor -=1>>

BROTHER: //I missed you, sis.// YOU: //Since when?// BROTHER: //Dunno… just remembered how this balcony used to be our test range for fighter jets.// [[That’s nonsense|BratBoolshut]] [[Bring the paper, pilot!|Samolet]]

You return to the table and finish your tea. MOM: //Sweetheart, when are you heading back?// YOU: //What do you mean?// MOM: //I mean… you’re not staying there forever, right? Or…// [[Lie|LieNavsegda]] [[Be honest|HonestNavsegda]] [[Make a joke|FunNavsegda]] [[Get aggressive|AgressiveNavsegda]] [[Let’s just have a drink|DrinkNavsegda]]

Your brother gets awkward. BROTHER:// Uh… it’s nothing. Forget it.// [[Go back to the room|Navsegda]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

BROTHER: //Yours always flew better for some reason…// YOU: //We can try again!// Your brother brings a few sheets of paper, and you both start folding airplanes. YOU:// The secret to success is making clean folds. A ruler works best — but your nail will do.// You run your nail along a crease — it sharpens right away. BROTHER: //See? That’s why you always had the edge! Totally unfair!// YOU: //Not my fault you used to bite your nails.// Your brother looks ready to pout, but you grab his plane and smooth out all the folds. YOU: //Now we’re even!// You launch the paper planes and watch as the wind catches them and carries them far, far away. <img src="https://i.postimg.cc/9FvHn9x3/Plane2.gif" alt="Plane" width="150" /> [[Go back to the room|Navsegda]] <<if !$achievementsUnlocked.includes("samolet")>> <<run $achievementsUnlocked.push("samolet")>><<run localStorage.setItem("myAchievements", JSON.stringify($achievementsUnlocked))>><<script>> $("#floating-achievement") .text("Achievement unlocked!") .fadeIn(300).delay(2500).fadeOut(300); <</script>><<set $Nost +=1>><<set $Patience +=5>><</if>>

YOU: //I’ll stay for another year, then come back.// MOM: //That’s the right decision, sweetheart. Nothing’s better than home.// [[Keep the evening going|Varezhki]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

YOU: //I don’t know yet, Mom. If things work out… why not stay for good?// MOM:// But what about your family, your friends… your home?// YOU: // I can still visit. Like I’m doing now.// UNCLE'S WIFE: //I just don’t get it. Leaving for some foreign land! It’s not like anyone forced you out. You’ll always be a stranger over there!// YOU: //Well, I guess I’ll find out.// [[Keep the evening going|Varezhki]] <<set $Patience -=20>>

YOU: //Then what was the point of leaving at all, if I’m just gonna come back in a couple years?// UNCLE: //Oh, you’ll all come crawling back once life hits you. Just watch TV — half of those runaways are already back home, hiding under mommy’s skirt.// MOM:// Sweetheart, we just want you to be happy!// YOU: //Funny thing is… I only really feel happy when I’m not in this apartment.// Grandma clutches her heart in dramatic silence. Mom gives you a wounded look. [[Keep the evening going|Pora]] <<set $Patience -=30>>

You raise your glass and take a sip of wine. [[Cheers!|Pora]] <<set $Intox +=2>> <<set $Patience +=5>>

MOM: //Oh, I’m glad you brought that up! I almost forgot — we have a present for you!// She pulls a bag out of the wardrobe. MOM: //Pure wool! Try it on, see if it fits.// [[Open the bag|OpenVarezhki]]

After thanking Mom for dinner and everyone for the lovely company, you get up from the table. MOM: //Sweetheart, you just got here and you’re already leaving? We waited so long to see you — stay a little longer!// [[Agree to stay|AgreeStay]] [[Get aggressive|AgressiveStay]] [[Make a joke|FunStay]] [[Politely decline|PoliteDeny]] [[Let’s just have a drink|DrinkStay]]

You open the bag and find a pair of mittens embroidered with a white bear on an ice floe under the northern lights. MOM: //So you won’t freeze out there in winter — and you’ll think of us. Do you like them?// YOU: //Of course I do!// A long time ago, you had sent Mom an Instagram photo of mittens just like these. MOM: //Grandma did the knitting, and I did the embroidery. We picked the design together. It’s the first time I’ve ever embroidered anything!// YOU: //They’re beautiful! I’ll definitely wear them!// <img src="https://i.postimg.cc/rp96sPqc/varezhki.gif" alt="Varezhki" width="150" /> [[Keep the evening going|Pora]] <<if !$achievementsUnlocked.includes("varezhki")>> <<run $achievementsUnlocked.push("varezhki")>><<run localStorage.setItem("myAchievements", JSON.stringify($achievementsUnlocked))>><<script>> $("#floating-achievement") .text("Achievement unlocked!") .fadeIn(300).delay(2500).fadeOut(300); <</script>><<set $Nost +=1>><<set $Patience +=10>><</if>>

You can’t resist Mom’s request. YOU: //Alright… but just for a little while!// MOM: //That’s more like it! I’ll get you some tea! And there’s still some cake left…// GRANDMA: //Next time you come, I might not even be around anymore…// YOU: //Oh come on, Grandma — you’ll outlive us all!// [[Keep the evening going|FireWorks]] <<set $Patience -=10>>

You immediately sit back down. YOU: //Oh, come on, Mom — I was just kidding! Can I have that pastry over there?// MOM:// You little jokester! Of course, sweetie — help yourself!// All you can do now is... [[Keep the evening going|FireWorks]] <<set $Humor -=1>>

YOU: //Mom, thank you for everything, but I really have to go. I was hoping to get up early tomorrow.// MOM: //Don’t “Mom” me! We see our own daughter once every few years!// YOU: //But I won’t be able to get up in the morning!// MOM: //So what? You’re on vacation! Let me get you another slice of cake!// You don’t have the energy to argue anymore. All you can do is... [[Keep the evening going|FireWorks]] <<set $Patience -= 10>>

You raise your glass and take a sip of wine. [[Cheers!|FireWorks]] <<set $Intox +=2>> <<set $Patience +=5>>

You storm away from the table, your family watching in surprise. YOU: //I honestly don’t know what kind of meds you have to take to not lose your mind around you people.// MOM: //Sweetheart, we’re just worried about you. Maybe we said something wrong — don’t take it to heart.// DAD: //She’s right. We’re from a different era — cut us some slack! // YOU:// You always take her side!// UNCLE: //What is this, a courtroom? Nobody’s here to defend you. You’re a grown woman, and this is how you talk to your parents? No wonder your generation’s never been spanked!// [[Leave the room|AgressiveFinal]] <<set $Patience -=30>>

UNCLE: //Why are we all sitting here like it’s a funeral? I didn’t buy fireworks for nothing!// BROTHER: //Yesss! Finally, some fun! Come on, sis!// YOU: //I don’t really feel like going outside.// UNCLE: //Who said anything about outside? We always launch ’em from the balcony!// [[Are you all nuts? I’m out|FireworksNo]] [[Let’s do it!|FireWorksYes]]

<<if $Deal == "YesDeal">>No one comes out to see you off. You get dressed and order a taxi. The screen flashes: Insufficient funds. You check your balance and realize… You transferred all your money to your brother’s crypto farm project in Dagestan. You cancel the ride and decide to walk home. No congratulations this time. You’ve damaged your family relationships and unlocked the achievement: ''“Aggressive Crypto Investor.”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div><<else>> You get dressed and order a taxi. No one comes out to see you off. You catch a few words from the other room — something about “bringing shame to the family.” Out of sheer principle, you slam the door just hard enough to earn the title. No congratulations this time. You’ve ruined your relationship with your family and unlocked the achievement: ''“Family Disgrace.”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <</if>>

YOU: //Mom, I was thinking we could all move together! I’ll take out a loan, we’ll buy a little house by the ocean. You’ll grow flowers, Dad’ll go fishing, and Grandma can chill on the beach with a book.// BROTHER: //What about me?// YOU: //You’re a grown-up now — figure it out! // BROTHER: //Mom! She’s doing it again!// GRANDMA: //Oh, sweetie… We old folks shouldn’t be moving around anymore. Remember Uncle Misha? His kids moved him in — and he died six months later.// You remember Uncle Misha, who smoked like a chimney his whole life. YOU: //Didn’t he have lung cancer, though?// GRANDMA:// If he’d stayed put, he would've lived another ten years! // DAD: //I’d go… // MOM: //Go where? You’ve never even had a visa!// DAD: //I’d get one! I’d catch sharks or whatever’s swimming there. And you’d clean them!// MOM: //Clean your own sharks. We’ve got a freezer full of smelt already — can’t get rid of it!// [[Keep the evening going|Pora]] <<set $Humor -=1>>

You explain to your uncle that setting off fireworks from the balcony is a bad idea. MOM:// I’m with you, sweetheart. What if a spark flies into someone else’s balcony? It could start a fire! // GRANDMA: //Knock on wood!// UNCLE:// It’ll be fine! We’ll put it out if anything happens!// If you’re going to run away from this house — now’s the time. [[Stay|TerpilaStay]] [[Make a run for it|Escape]] <<set $Patience -=5>>

You decide this evening can only get better if you do something totally reckless. Once, long ago, you, Dad, and Uncle secretly launched fireworks from the balcony — and nothing bad happened. MOM: //For the love of God, just don’t burn the house down!// YOU: //Don’t worry, Mom! I’ll grab something — just in case. // You grab from the table: [[A bottle of water|WaterFire][$Drink = "WaterDrink"]] [[A bottle of wine|WineFire][$Drink = "ElseDrink"]] [[A jar of kombucha|KombuchaFire][$Drink = "ElseDrink"]] [[Dad’s mystery brew|BormotuhaFire][$Drink = "ElseDrink"]]

There’s no way you’ll be able to leave quietly — Mom or Dad will definitely stop you. So you’ll have to act fast. You could try slipping out the front door, but there’s a good chance you’ll get caught. Or you could go for the riskier route — the balcony. Second floor’s not that high. How do you want to make your escape? [[Front door|FrontDoor]] [[Balcony|Balkony]]

<<goto "FireWorksBalkony">>

The idea of climbing out the balcony feels way too risky — so you go for the front door instead. You casually step away from the table, trying not to raise suspicion. The hallway is empty. You quietly turn the key in the lock and get ready to bolt — when you hear footsteps coming from the room behind you. Time to move! But how? [[Slide down the railing|Perila]] [[Skip a step and run|Stairs]]

You step out onto the balcony without drawing any attention. Your family is deep in conversation — you’ve got at least five minutes. You assess the height and decide you’ll need some kind of safety gear. Sure, it’s only the second floor, but better safe than sorry. Rummaging through the junk cabinet, you find a sealed package labeled “Made in China” — a brand-new rope — and a plastic bag filled with old Soviet-era curtains. What do you choose? [[Brand-new rope|Rope]] [[Old Soviet curtains|CurtainsFinal]]

<<if $Nost >= 7>>Your uncle is telling another one of his wild stories — this one somehow involves fireworks, a coworker’s butt, and a business trip to the Taymyr Peninsula. Your aunt looks at him with love-struck eyes, and you catch yourself thinking… it would be nice if someone looked at you like that someday. Your mom laughs so hard at the story she’s wiping away tears with a napkin. Grandma believes every word and keeps gasping, “Oh my goodness!” Dad chuckles, watching Grandma’s innocent reactions. Your brother is off in the corner, whispering business ideas to his “partner.” It’s all a bit insane — but it’s your kind of insane. A week from now, sitting in your airplane seat, you’ll think back to this moment with warmth. You love your family. Congratulations! You survived the family dinner, collected enough nostalgic memories, and unlocked the achievement “Family Ties”! THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <<else>> Your uncle is telling yet another insane story — this one somehow involves fireworks, a coworker’s butt, and a business trip to the Taymyr Peninsula. You don’t find any of it funny — but somehow, everyone else does. Your aunt listens to the nonsense with a loving smile. Your mom wipes away tears of laughter, even though she could’ve just put an end to this circus. Grandma takes every word seriously and keeps gasping, “Oh my!” Dad is roaming around with his sketchy homebrew again, and your brother is on the phone with his so-called “business partner.” You’re disgusted by this family — yet somehow, you can’t bring yourself to leave. Instead, you schedule an extra session with your therapist. No congratulations here. You didn’t collect enough nostalgic memories. You took emotional damage — and unlocked the achievement: "Minus 5000 rubles." THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <</if>>

You don’t trust the Soviet-quality curtains, so you go with the brand-new nylon rope — made in China. You tie it tightly and toss it over the balcony. You give it a few sharp tugs to test the knot — then begin your descent. Afraid of heights, you go slowly, gripping the rope with both hands. One meter. Another meter. YOU: //Oh!// Halfway down, you feel a strange shudder. You look up — the rope is fraying. You are literally hanging by a thread. [[THUD!|FallFinal]]

<<if $Nost >= 7>>Somewhere deep in your brain, the phrase “Soviet means reliable” still lingers — so you grab the bag of curtains. They’re long enough to tie together and make a decent escape rope from the second floor. WHOOSH! Soviet quality doesn’t fail you — you land safely on the pavement. Overwhelmed with adrenaline, you run through a few backyards before stopping. Suddenly, it hits you — and you burst out laughing. You laugh so hard, people peek out of their windows, and parents quietly lead their children away from the playground. YOU JUST ESCAPED A FAMILY DINNER… BY CLIMBING DOWN CURTAINS. This story deserves to be part of your stand-up set someday. Congratulations! You’ve collected enough nostalgic memories, survived the family dinner, and unlocked the achievement: ''“Stand-up Girl.”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <<else>> Somewhere deep in your brain, the phrase “Soviet means reliable” still lingers — so you grab the bag of curtains. They’re long enough to tie together and make a decent escape rope from the second floor. WHOOSH! Soviet quality doesn't fail you — you land safely on the pavement. This evening has drained every last bit of your energy, and you know it’ll take time to recover. You text your mom “//I went home//” and switch your phone to silent mode. No congratulations this time. You didn’t collect enough nostalgic memories. You took emotional damage and unlocked the achievement: ''“Shawshank Escape.”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <</if>>

You open your eyes and find yourself lying on the pavement. “Well, at least I landed okay,” you think. Suddenly, your grandfather appears beside you and offers his hand. YOU: //Grandpa? What are you doing here? // WEE-OO WEE-OO WEE-OO! Sirens wail somewhere nearby. Your entire family bursts out of the building. YOU: //Mom, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have left without saying goodbye. But can you please tell me what’s going on?// You step closer… and see yourself. Your body is sprawled on the asphalt in a pool of blood, a rope still clutched in your hand. GRANDAD: //Cheap knockoff... // YOU: //MOM! DAD! // GRANDAD: //They can’t hear you. I begged them for just one little drink before I died — not even a shot. // YOU: //But you can hear me! // GRANDAD: //Well, yeah — I’m dead too. // There’s nothing to celebrate. You didn't survive the family dinner and posthumously earned the achievement: ''“Fallen Angel.”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div>

You remember how much you loved sliding down the railing as a kid. Now, you try to do it again: carefully sit down, lift your feet, and push off. WHOOOOSH! BAMMM! You pick up so much speed you can’t stop in time — you fly off the railing and crash into the wall. Your vision goes black — you lose consciousness. [[Wake up an hour later|HospitalFinal]]

You pick up the pace, but you don’t make it far — your dad catches up with you. DAD: //Not even gonna say goodbye??// You feel a bit guilty and tell him honestly how exhausting the family dinner was. Dad doesn’t know what to say. You stand there, picking at the railing with your fingernail. DAD: //Remember how you used to slide down these railings as a kid?// YOU: //Mom still doesn’t know… You’re the one who taught me, actually!// DAD: //And let’s keep it that way. Want to go for a ride? Dad’s got your back!// [[Slide down the railing|PerilaPapa]] [[Turn him down|PerilaDeny]]

You come to in a hospital room, stirred by yelling in the hallway. MOM: //I don’t care if security drags me out — I’m going in! // BROTHER:// I want to say goodbye to my sister! // NURSE: //Don’t jinx her like that! She’ll be fine — now stop hovering and let us work.// You open your eyes. YOU: //Moooom... // NURSE:// All right, go in. But just 15 minutes! // Your whole family crowds around your bed. Mom adjusts your blanket to make you more comfortable. Dad asks what he should bring. Uncle makes a few calls to “his connections” to reach the hospital administration. Aunt slips a chocolate bar into the nurse’s pocket to make sure you're treated well. Your head is pounding, but a warm feeling spreads through your body. As crazy as they are, this is your family — and they’ll never abandon you. That counts for a lot. Congratulations! Battered but not broken, you’ve reconnected with your family and earned enough love to survive a few more family dinners. You also unlocked the achievement: ''“Concussion!”'' THE END <<set $Nost += 10>> <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div>

Just like in childhood, you sit on the railing and lift your feet off the ground. Dad holds you steady by the waist. DAD:// Ready?// You’re a little scared — it’s been fifteen years since you last did this! But you trust Dad’s support and nod. DAD: //Then let’s roll!// You push off and pick up speed. WHOOOOSH!!! You fly past the first landing, then the second, and the third — and end up right at the entrance door. YOU: //Dad, that was amazing!// You think back on everything that happened tonight, and now there’s only one thing left to do... [[Make your choice|PerilaDecision]]

<<if $Nost >= 7>>YOU: //Come on, Dad, I’m not a kid anymore! // Dad looks a little sad, but doesn’t show it. DAD: //You’ve grown up so fast, my girl... // You give him a big hug. YOU: //I’m sorry it had to end like this. Mom and Grandma will probably be upset. // DAD:// I’ll handle the ladies. // You laugh, remembering how Dad always covered for you when you were a kid — whether it was a broken cup or a bad grade. YOU: //Even after all these years? // DAD:// Always. // YOU:// Love you.// DAD:// Of course you do. // YOU: //Daaad! // DAD: //Alright, alright. I love you too. What should we tell Mom? Diarrhea?// YOU: //Oh my God, I grew up with you! // DAD://I’ll improvise. Text me when you get home.// You decide to walk home. Congratulations! You survived the family dinner, gathered enough nostalgic memories, and earned the achievement: ''“Undercover Operation.”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <<elseif $Nost < 7 and $Deal == "YesDeal">>> You don’t want to spend another second in that house. You try to call a cab, but the screen flashes: “Insufficient funds.” Damn! You transferred all your money to your brother’s crypto farm startup! YOU: //Dad, could you… lend me like twenty bucks? // Dad sends the money without asking questions. You book a ride and give him a quick hug. DAD:// Let me know when you get home, okay? // YOU: //Will do. // You step outside and feel instant relief — your family has completely drained you. You decide not to come back here for at least a few more years. Nothing to celebrate. You lost your nerves and your money — and all you got was the achievement: ''“Crypto Bro Broke Me.”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <<else>> YOU: // I'm not a kid anymore! // Dad looks disappointed, but hides it well. You don’t want to spend another second in this house — you book a ride and give Dad a quick hug goodbye. DAD: //Text me when you get home, okay? // YOU: //I will. // You step outside and feel a wave of relief — this family has drained every bit of your energy. You decide not to come back here for at least a few more years. No congratulations this time. You didn’t gather enough nostalgic memories, took some emotional damage, and earned the achievement ''“No Regrets”''! THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <</if>>

<<if $Nost >= 7>>You decide to stay. Despite all the awkward questions and old wounds, you love your family. You're bound by memories, photos, inside jokes, and shared chaos — more than with anyone else in the world. You're certain that no matter what, they’ve got your back. And no amount of crypto money could ever buy that feeling. Congratulations! You survived the family dinner, gathered enough nostalgic memories, and earned the achievement: ''“Inner Child.”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <<elseif $Nost < 7 and $Deal == "YesDeal">> You decide to leave. You don't want to spend another second in this house. You try to book a ride, but your screen flashes: Insufficient funds. Damn it! You transferred all your money to your brother for his crypto farm startup. YOU: //Dad, could you… maybe lend me a grand? // He sends you the money without a word. You book the ride and give him a goodbye hug. DAD: //Text me when you get home, okay? // YOU: //I will.// You step outside and breathe a sigh of relief — your family has drained every last ounce of your energy. You decide not to come back for at least a few years. There’s nothing to celebrate. You lost your nerves and your savings — but hey, you unlocked the achievement: ''“Borrowed a Grand.”'' Not much of a consolation. THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <<else>>You decide to leave. You don’t want to spend another second in this house. You book a ride and give your dad a goodbye hug. DAD: //Text me when you get home, okay? // YOU: //I will.// You step outside and feel a wave of relief — this family has drained every last bit of your energy. You silently promise yourself not to come back for at least a few more years. There’s nothing to celebrate. You’ve earned yourself another emotional scar and the achievement: ''“Heart of Stone.”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <</if>>

Your uncle and brother are launching fireworks from the balcony — fiery sparks shoot several floors up before falling back down. DAD:// Sunshine, remember when we used to go watch the fireworks together?// When you were little, your dad would lift you onto his shoulders and you’d watch the fireworks from the town square. YOU: //Those were the best fireworks in the world!// Suddenly, your brother yells and points at the balcony one floor below. <img src="https://i.postimg.cc/ZRf1Fv9M/salut.gif" alt="Salut" width="150" /> [[Look down|FireworksCheck]] <<if !$achievementsUnlocked.includes("salut")>> <<run $achievementsUnlocked.push("salut")>><<run localStorage.setItem("myAchievements", JSON.stringify($achievementsUnlocked))>><<script>> $("#floating-achievement") .text("Achievement unlocked!") .fadeIn(300).delay(2500).fadeOut(300); <</script>><<set $Nost += 1>><<set $Patience += 5>><</if>>

<<if $Drink == "WaterDrink" and $Nost >= 7>>Since you grabbed the bottle of water, you manage to put out the fire just in time. A few seconds later and the evening would’ve ended with the fire department at your door. A neighbor steps out onto her balcony, clearly furious. DAD: //Hide!// You all step back and try not to make a sound. NEIGHBOR: //Nikolai! I saw you!// DAD: //Shhh... // A minute later, there’s a knock at the door. You all exchange glances — and burst out laughing. You’ll be retelling this night at every family gathering you’re definitely not going to miss. Congratulations! You survived the family dinner, collected enough nostalgic memories, and unlocked the achievement ''“Mischief Managed!”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <<elseif $Drink == "WaterDrink" and $Nost < 7>> Since you brought water, the fire was prevented — just in time. A few seconds later, and the evening would've ended with a visit from the fire department. A neighbor steps out onto her scorched balcony. DAD:// Hide!// You all step back and try to stay quiet. NEIGHBOR: //NIKOLAI! I SAW YOU!// DAD: //Shhh...// A minute later, there's a knock at the door. You open it and come face-to-face with the neighbor. YOU: //I’m sorry, Anfisa Sergeyevna.// NEIGHBOR: //SORRY?! I’LL SHOW YOUR WHOLE FAMILY...// You slip past her into the stairwell and head outside. There’s nothing to celebrate. You didn’t gather enough nostalgic memories to survive the family dinner. You run away and earn the achievement ''"Neighborhood Drama"''! THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <<elseif $Drink == "ElseDrink" and $Nost >= 7>> You pour your drink on the fire — but it only flares up more. UNCLE: //You should’ve brought water, you dummy! Call the fire department!// You dial 911 and give them the address. Meanwhile, Mom runs to the neighbor’s place. Uncle grabs the remaining fireworks and shoves the bag under the bed. Dad sweeps the balcony to erase all traces of the crime. Your brother is filming everything on his phone. A minute later, a firefighter bursts onto the balcony below and sprays foam everywhere. The fire is out. You all glance at each other — and burst out laughing. You’ll be telling this story at family holidays for years to come, and you won’t want to miss a single one. Congratulations! You survived the family dinner, gathered enough nostalgic memories, and earned the achievement: ''“Fire Party”'!' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <<elseif $Drink == "ElseDrink" and $Nost < 7>> You try to put out the fire — but it only gets worse. UNCLE: //Should’ve brought water, dummy! Call the fire department!// You dial 911 and give the address. Meanwhile, Mom runs to the neighbor’s place. Uncle gathers all the fireworks and hides the bag under the bed. Dad sweeps the balcony to erase the evidence. Your brother films the chaos on his phone. A minute later, a firefighter bursts onto the balcony below and douses everything in foam. The fire is extinguished. Suddenly — a knock at the door. You open it and come face-to-face with the neighbor. YOU: //Sorry, Anfisa Sergeyevna.// NEIGHBOR: //SORRY? I’VE HAD IT WITH YOUR WHOLE FAMILY...// You slip into the hallway and leave the building. No congratulations this time. You didn’t gather enough nostalgic memories to survive the family dinner. You flee — and earn the achievement: ''“Out of the Fire and into the Flames.”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div> <</if>>

<<goto "FireWorksBalkony">>

You down another glass, and suddenly everything feels warm and peaceful… Your relatives’ voices drift in from afar, their faces pleasantly blurred, like figures in an Impressionist painting. Unable to resist any longer, you lower your head into your empty plate and drift off to sleep. There’s nothing to celebrate. You got drunk — and earned the achievement: ''“Lambrusco.”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start Over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div>

Your last nerve finally quits for the day and walks out on you. You look around at your family and feel nothing holding you at that table. You think: “God, I am so f—ing done with you all!” Suddenly, everyone turns to look at you. The room falls silent — apparently, you said it out loud. You get up and quietly leave the room. No one stops you. There’s nothing to celebrate. You’ve burned some bridges — and earned the achievement: ''“Thinking Out Loud.”'' THE END <div style="text-align:center"> <<button "Start Over">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> </div>

<h2>Финал был:</h2> <p><<print $finalName>></p> <<script>> console.log("Финал: " + State.variables.finalName); <</script>>

<<print $progressbars()>> <div id="bars"> <<print $progressbars()>>

<h2>Memory Collection</h2> <div style="display: flex; gap: 15px; justify-content: center;"> <<for _i = 0; _i < 5; _i++>> <<set _ach = $allAchievements[_i]>> <div class="achievement-box"> <<set _imgTag = '<img src="' + _ach.img + '" class="ach-icon ' + ($achievementsUnlocked.includes(_ach.id) ? 'unlocked' : 'locked') + '">'>> <<= _imgTag >> <span class="achievement-name"><<=_ach.name>></span> </div> <</for>> </div> <div style="display: flex; gap: 15px; justify-content: center; margin-top: 20px;"> <<for _i = 5; _i < 10; _i++>> <<set _ach = $allAchievements[_i]>> <div class="achievement-box"> <<set _imgTag = '<img src="' + _ach.img + '" class="ach-icon ' + ($achievementsUnlocked.includes(_ach.id) ? 'unlocked' : 'locked') + '">'>> <<= _imgTag >> <span class="achievement-name"><<=_ach.name>></span> </div> <</for>> </div> <<link "← Back">> <<goto $returnStack.pop()>> <</link>>