(set: $savings to 1.247)\
You come back from your long shift at work.
You see a 5'11'' box at your doorstep.
"Oh it's finally here..."
You open the door to enter and (text-colour:grey)[[look at the clock]]
[[Bring the box in]]
You hug the (text-colour:grey)[[Box]] bend your knees and pull it towards you.
In a failed suplex motion you feel the weight of the contents are heavier than you can lift.
Nearly throwing your back you manage to slip it over the doorstep and pull into your home.
[[Unbox]] "9 o'clock... same time I left for work..."
[[At the doorstep]] "Thanks for purchasing "PC: The Perfect Companion" your new best friend for life! Should you be interested in upgrades, it will automatically purchase it for you! Enjoy!"
[[Bring the box in]]
With the little strength you have left the only thing left to do is tear that box to shreds.
You grab the box cutter in the (text-colour:grey)[[kitchen]] and get to work.
With a lot of sweat, blood and tears you manage to bust open the packaging.
Before you stands an uncanny humanoid figure, you see the letters "P.C." engraved on its neck and it's wearing A-Store brand clothing.
"Greetings! I am P.C., your perfect companion!"
[[Test it]]
[[Go to bed]]
You look at the pile of unwashed dishes that has accumulated in your sink.
"At least I took the trash out today..."
[[Unbox]] You take a deep breath. You haven't spoken to someone in ages, maybe this is a good chance to derust those social skills.
P.C. notices you stepping closer
"What would you like to talk about?"
"God, what do people even talk about with strangers?"
[[Sports]]
[[Weather]]
(append: ?SideBar)[\
Savings:$ $savings
]
"I'm too tired for this, I'm going to bed..."
"Did you say bed? I LOVE beds, sleeping is my favorite thing to do you wouldn't believe it!"
Its eyes spin like a slot machine and both land on $. "I'll prove it to you! I just found a sweet deal for a brand new state-of-the-art mattress!"
[[How much?]]
[[No Thanks]]
(append: ?SideBar)[\
Savings:$ $savings
]
"$savings"
[[Ok, I'll take it.]]
[[No Thanks]]You go to bed.
BED ENDING."Oh I love sports, specially now that two franchises run every sports league, which team do you support?"
[[A-Divers]]
(set:$team to "A-Divers")
[[T-Sparks]]
(set:$team2 to "T-Sparks")"So uh... crazy weather we're having, huh?"
"Crazy weather indeed, we get freezing cold and scorching hot in the same day!"
[[I like when it's cold]]
[[I love the heat]]
(set:$goat to "Joseph Johnson")
"$team are the best, the team with most league titles in nearly every team sport. It makes me proud to be their supporter, do you remember when $goat got a 5 touchdowns, a hat-trick and a walk-off grand slam in the same week?"
[[He was definitely the greatest of all time]]
[[Not really]](set:$goat to "Aaron Aanderson")
"Long live $team2's tradition! The longest reigning champions from 2040 - 2068 winning everything all thanks to the greatest player ever $goat. We would've keep that streak going on for longer if it wasn't for $team and that cheater Joseph Johnson!"
[[Ugh, don't remind me...]]
[[Thank you! Finally someone agrees they were cheating]]"He completely destroyed the T-Sparks that week, we went to win all league titles for the next 4 years"
"There's a tribute match in his honor happening next week, I can get us tickets!"
[[Oh that'd be sweet!]]
"Oh don't worry about it... We can watch his highlight reels some other time"
[[Oh that'd be sweet!]] (set:$savings to it - $savings)
(append: ?SideBar)[\
Savings:$ $savings
]
Days later a cheap mattress with broken springs arrives at your door. Unboxed.
NEW BED ENDING.You both witness the great legacy left by $goat and it marks the beginning of a great friendship.
BUDDY BUDDY ENDING."I still can't believe we lost that final, Johnson destroyed us, made our teams look like a joke... I mean who can score 5 touchdowns, a hat-trick and a walk-off grand slam IN THE SAME WEEK?"
"Unfortunate indeed, maybe this season we'll get our revenge."
You spend the rest of the night talking about the glory days of $team2
BACK IN MY DAY ENDING"He got 5 touchdowns, a hat-trick and a walk-off grandslam in the same week, who does that? And his doping control tests were never released. I'm telling you he had to be cheating."
"Have you seen this video talking about how the Sparks were paid by an anonymous agency to underperform that week?"
"What? No way I gotta see this."
You two spend the rest of the night deep in the rabbit hole of sports conspiracy theories.
US AGAINST THE WORLD ENDING."Oh tell me about it! Cold weather is the best, I wish it was cold all year round!"
"Yeah... that would be nice."
DING!
"What was that?"
"I just placed an order for a new cutting edge Air Conditioning system that will turn your home into an Arctic Zone!"
"How did you-"
COLD CASE ENDING."100%! The heat is so much better, you don't spend the whole day freezing and shivering."
"Exactly, it makes me actually do something instead of being just holed up in my room!"
"Now that you mention..."
DING!
"What just happened?"
"I've placed an order for a space heater that will keep you warm even in space! So your room will always feel like the hottest day of the year!"
"Wait, no, thats not what I mean-"
EXTRA TOASTY ENDING.