JavaScript must be enabled to play.
Browser lacks capabilities required to play.
Upgrade or switch to another browser.
Loading…
<div class="post-under-24h-old post-under-6h-old single-page comments-page"> <div id="header" role="banner"> <a tabindex="1" href="#content" id="jumpToContent">jump to content</a> <div id="sr-header-area"> <div class="width-clip"> <div class="dropdown srdrop"><span class="selected title">my subreddits</span></div> <div class="drop-choices srdrop"><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="bottom-option choice">edit subscriptions</a></div> <div class="sr-list"> <ul class="flat-list sr-bar hover"> <li><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">popular</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">all</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">users</a></li> </ul> <span class="separator"> | </span> <ul class="flat-list sr-bar hover" id="sr-bar"> <li><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">AskReddit</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">pics</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">funny</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">movies</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">gaming</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">worldnews</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">news</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">todayilearned</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">nottheonion</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">explainlikeimfive</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">mildlyinteresting</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">DIY</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">videos</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">OldSchoolCool</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">europe</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">TwoXChromosomes</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">tifu</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">Music</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">books</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">LifeProTips</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">dataisbeautiful</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">aww</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">science</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">space</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">Showerthoughts</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">askscience</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">Jokes</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">IAmA</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">Futurology</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">sports</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">UpliftingNews</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">food</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">nosleep</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">creepy</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">history</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">gifs</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">InternetIsBeautiful</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">GetMotivated</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">gadgets</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">announcements</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">WritingPrompts</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">philosophy</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">Documentaries</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">EarthPorn</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">sweden</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">photoshopbattles</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">listentothis</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">blog</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">svenskpolitik</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">swedishproblems</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">intresseklubben</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">Allsvenskan</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">spop</a></li> <li><span class="separator">-</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">SWARJE</a></li> </ul> </div> <a href="#" onClick="return false;" id="sr-more-link">more »</a> </div> </div> <div id="header-bottom-left"> <a title="AmItheAsshole" href="#" onClick="return false;" id="header-img-a"><img id="header-img" src="./redditor.png" width="256" height="207" alt="AmItheAsshole" /></a> <span class="hover pagename redditname"><a href="#" onClick="return false;">AmItheAsshole</a></span> <ul class="tabmenu"> <li class="selected"><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">comments</a></li> </ul> </div> <div id="header-bottom-right"> <span class="user">Want to join? <a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="login-required login-link">Log in</a> or <a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="login-required">sign up</a> in seconds.</span> <ul class="flat-list hover"></ul> </div> </div> <div class="side"> <div class="spacer"> <form action="https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/search" id="search" role="search"> <input type="text" name="q" placeholder="search" tabindex="20" /><input type="submit" value="" tabindex="22" /> <div id="searchexpando" class="infobar"> <label><input type="checkbox" name="restrict_sr" tabindex="21" />limit my search to r/AmItheAsshole</label> <div id="moresearchinfo"> <p>use the following search parameters to narrow your results:</p> <dl> <dt>subreddit:<i>subreddit</i></dt> <dd>find submissions in "subreddit"</dd> <dt>author:<i>username</i></dt> <dd>find submissions by "username"</dd> <dt>site:<i>example.com</i></dt> <dd>find submissions from "example.com"</dd> <dt>url:<i>text</i></dt> <dd>search for "text" in url</dd> <dt>selftext:<i>text</i></dt> <dd>search for "text" in self post contents</dd> <dt>self:yes (or self:no)</dt> <dd>include (or exclude) self posts</dd> <dt>nsfw:yes (or nsfw:no)</dt> <dd>include (or exclude) results marked as NSFW</dd> </dl> <p>e.g. <code>subreddit:aww site:imgur.com dog</code></p> <p><a href="#" onClick="return false;">see the search faq for details.</a></p> </div> <p><a href="#" onClick="return false;" id="search_showmore">advanced search: by author, subreddit...</a></p> </div> </form> </div> <div class="spacer"> <div class="linkinfo"> <div class="date"><span>this post was submitted on  </span><time datetime="2025-07-09T23:10:21+00:00">09 Jul 2025</time></div> <div class="score"><span class="number"><span data-passage="pointsPassage"></span></span> <span class="word">points</span> (<span data-passage="pointsPercent"></span>% upvoted)</div> <div class="shortlink">shortlink:  <input type="text" value="https://redd.it/1lvxapt" readonly="readonly" id="shortlink-text" /></div> </div> </div> <div class="spacer"> <div class="sidebox submit submit-text"> <div class="morelink"> <a href="#" onClick="return false;" data-event-action="submit" data-type="subreddit" data-event-detail="self" class="login-required access-required" target="_top">Submit a new text post</a> <div class="nub"></div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="spacer"> <div class="titlebox"> <h1 class="hover redditname"><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="hover">AmItheAsshole</a></h1> <span class="fancy-toggle-button subscribe-button toggle" style="" data-sr_name="AmItheAsshole"><a class="option active add login-required" href="#" onClick="return false;" tabindex="100">join</a><a class="option remove" href="#" onClick="return false;">leave</a></span ><span class="subscribers"><span class="number">24,077,770</span> <span class="word">readers</span></span> <p class="users-online" title="users viewing this subreddit in the past 15 minutes"><span class="number">1,314</span> <span class="word">users here now</span></p> <form action="#" class="usertext warn-on-unload" id="form-t5_2xhvqicq"> <input type="hidden" name="thing_id" value="t5_2xhvq" /> <div class="usertext-body may-blank-within md-container"> <div class="md"> <h1>Welcome to <a href="#" onClick="return false;">r/AmITheAsshole</a>!</h1> <p>A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in a real-world argument that's been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole.</p> <p>This is the sub to lay out your actions and conflicts and get impartial judgment rendered against you. Were you the asshole in that situation or not? Post should reflect real situations, and abide by the rules below.</p> <p> After 18 hours, your post will be given a flair representing the final judgment on your matter. This flair is determined by the subscribers who have both rendered judgment and voted on which judgment is best. <strong><em>The power of the crowd will judge you</em></strong >. If your top level comment has the highest number of upvotes in a thread, you will get a flair point. More details are listed in <a href="#" onClick="return false;">our FAQ</a>. </p> <hr /> <h1>Important Links</h1> <ul> <li> <h2><a href="#" onClick="return false;">Frequently Asked Questions</a></h2> </li> <li> <h2><a href="#" onClick="return false;">How To Post</a></h2> </li> <li> <p>Visit our sister subreddit <a href="#" onClick="return false;">/r/AmItheButtface/</a> for posts about fiction or relationships, and basically anything that we don't allow here! <a href="#" onClick="return false;">/r/AmItheCloaca</a> for posts from animals and <a href="#" onClick="return false;">/r/AmItheGrasshole</a> for all your lawncare conflicts!</p> </li> <li> <p> See our <em><del>Best Of</del></em> "Most Controversial" at <a href="#" onClick="return false;">/r/AITAFiltered</a> </p> </li> <li> <p>Looking for some Regional Assholes? <a href="#" onClick="return false;">/r/AkoBaYungGago/</a> <a href="#" onClick="return false;">/r/BenIkDeEikel</a> <a href="#" onClick="return false;">/r/BinIchDasArschloch</a> <a href="#" onClick="return false;">/r/EuSouOBabaca</a> <a href="#" onClick="return false;">/r/suisjeletroudeballe</a></p> </li> <li> <p>See our <a href="#" onClick="return false;">resources for those in an unhealthy or abusive relationship</a> and <a href="#" onClick="return false;">resources for members of the LGBTQIA+ community that might need help or support</a></p> </li> <li> <p><a href="#" onClick="return false;">https://al-anon.org/</a> and <a href="#" onClick="return false;">http://www.teen-anon.com/</a></p> </li> <li> <p><a href="#" onClick="return false;">https://smartrecovery.org/</a></p> </li> <li> <p><a href="#" onClick="return false;">https://www.childhelp.org/</a></p> </li> </ul> <hr /> <h1>Voting Guide</h1> <p>In your top level comment be sure to include one abbreviation for your judgment, i.e.</p> <p><strong>YTA</strong> = You're the Asshole;</p> <p><strong>YWBTA</strong> = You Would Be the Asshole;</p> <p><strong>NTA</strong> = Not the A-hole (and the other person is);</p> <p><strong>YWNBTA</strong> = You Would Not be the Asshole (and the other person would);</p> <p><strong>ESH</strong> = Everyone Sucks here;</p> <p><strong>NAH</strong> = No A-holes here;</p> <p><strong>INFO</strong> = Not Enough Info</p> <hr /> <h1><strong>Rules</strong></h1> <h2>1. Be Civil</h2> <p>Attack ideas, not people. The purpose of this sub is to determine and explain who is in the wrong, not to eviscerate anyone. Treat others with respect while helping them grow through outside perspectives. Derogatory or dehumanizing language, including insults, violate this rule.</p> <p>This rule applies to everyone, even those not on Reddit. Don't insult others or get into prolonged spats in the comments. Don't lecture people about the rules (use reports).</p> <p>Be respectful. Be nice. Don't be an asshole.</p> <h2>2. Voting Rules</h2> <p>Upvote posts that make for an interesting discussion. <strong>DON'T</strong> downvote if you think OP is an asshole. <strong>DON'T DOWNVOTE COMMENTS YOU DISAGREE WITH.</strong> Downvotes should be reserved for off-topic discussions or spam. Report harassing comments, don’t engage.</p> <p>Don't participate in threads you have found through crossposts and links outside of this subreddit. In this sub, your comment is a vote. Brigading/Vote manipulation is against Reddit site wide rules. <strong>Violations will earn a permanent ban.</strong></p> <h2>3. Accept Your Judgment</h2> <p>This sub is here for the submitter to discover what everyone else thinks of the ethics or mores of a situation. It is not here to draw people into an argument you want to have, or to defend your position. If people start saying you were the asshole, do not take that as an invitation to debate them on the subject... accept the judgment and move on. If you have valid reason to think a commenter needs more information or misunderstood the facts of the conflict, you may give new information.</p> <h2>4. Never Delete An Active Discussion</h2> <p>DO NOT delete your submission once a discussion has begun. Your post must stay up for <strong>at least 48 hours</strong>. We encourage submitters to use throwaways to maintain their privacy, but deleting a discussion is unacceptable. Violators will be banned.</p> <h2>5. No Violence</h2> <p>Don't even <em>mention</em> violence.</p> <p>The rule isn't about inciting or encouraging violence. It's about <strong>not mentioning.</strong> Posts or comments that reference or mention violence in any manner do not belong here.</p> <p>Comments & even jokes about violence are not tolerated. Encouraging self-harm, suicide, "bad karma," property damage, food tampering, or anything that wishes mental or physical pain on anyone, even hypothetically, is strictly prohibited. <strong>Violating this rule will result in a permanent ban.</strong></p> <h2>6. How To Post</h2> <p>The TITLE of your submission must begin with the acronym AITA or WIBTA (would I be the asshole?), then a description of the situation.</p> <p>Posts are limited to 3000 characters. Paragraphs are good; block text walls are bad. Format and punctuate your post reasonably. Be clear and concise. Don't link to screenshots or other subreddits. If you can't explain yourself in one post, without using external text pages, it does not belong here. Do not use someone else's account or a shared account.</p> <h2>7. Posts Must Contain an Interpersonal Conflicts</h2> <p>Posts should be descriptions of recent interpersonal conflicts. Describe both sides in detail. Make it clear why you may be "the asshole."</p> <p>Submissions must contain a real-life conflict between you and at least one other person. They should not be about feelings, opinions, or desires. If your conflict is with a larger demographic, an animal, someone online, a business, or a third party who’s irrelevant to the main question but thought what you did sucked, your post will be removed.</p> <h2>8. No Shitposts, No AI</h2> <p>Posts must be truthful and presented as fairly and accurately as possible. Posts must be written entirely by you and from your own point of view. Do not post on behalf of others, or from the point of view of another person in the story.</p> <p>This is not a humor sub. This isn't a sub for copypastas, satire, overly embellished stories, or creative writing exercises. The use of AI (for any reason) is not permitted.</p> <p>Shitposting will result in a permanent ban.</p> <h2>9. Do Not Ask For Advice</h2> <p>This is NOT an advice sub. All submissions that ask for advice (instead of or in addition to judgment) will be removed. This sub is for arbitration.</p> <p>You may include advice when you make your comments, but remember that your primary objective in commenting is to assign blame and pass judgment.</p> <p>If a thread's focus becomes about advice instead of arbitration the thread may be removed regardless of the OP's intent.</p> <h2>10. Updates and META posts are restricted</h2> <p>Posts dedicated to discussing AITA should be directed to the monthly open forum. Any META posts will be removed & may result in a ban.</p> <p>Update posts require approval. This includes any post that references another post, including posting the other perspective. Review the <a href="#" onClick="return false;">update criteria</a> for more info. Unapproved updates will result in a ban.</p> <p>This is not a saga or diary sub. Excessive posting will result in a warning or ban.</p> <h2>11. No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts</h2> <p>AITA is not a relationship sub. We do not allow the following types of posts:</p> <ul> <li>AITA for ghosting/cutting/reducing/denying contact with *<em>anyone</em>* (or not).</li> <li>AITA for liking/pursuing/dating/breaking up with someone (or not)</li> <li>AITA for doing a sexual act (or not)</li> <li>Reproductive decisions (including adopting/fostering children and delivery room conflicts)</li> <li>Posts about cheating- including "exposing" someone's cheating (or not).</li> <li>Or <a href="#" onClick="return false;">similar conflicts</a> that only exist in romantic or sexual relationships.</li> </ul> <h2>12. This Is Not A Debate Sub</h2> <p>If judgment is primarily motivated by whether commenters agree with your stance on a broad issue it is not appropriate for this sub. This includes anything from politically motivated conflicts to innocuous issues like if cake is better than pie. If you're ultimately asking if it is okay to kick someone off your team for their sexual identity, stop talking to your friend because they vape, or any similar debate, your post will be removed.</p> <p>No starting off topic debates about marginalized groups</p> <h2>13. No Revenge Stories</h2> <p>There are many subreddits for sharing tales of revenge—this is not one of them. This is a sub for providing feedback on interpersonal conflict, not for endorsing how you escalate a conflict. If you're here to tell us how you punished someone who totally had it coming, you're probably breaking this rule.</p> <h2>14. No Medical Conflicts</h2> <p>AITA is a platform for moral judgment, not medical advice. The life and death consequences of many medical conflicts are well outside of Reddit's paygrade. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is transmitting or contracting any communicable disease, or undergoing any kind of medical procedure.</p> <h2>15. Review the FAQ Before Participating</h2> <p>Subreddit rules are intended to provide a brief overview of our sub's content standards. Please ensure you <a href="#" onClick="return false;">read the FAQs</a> for a detailed understanding of our community standards.</p> <hr /> <p><em>Normal Rediquette applies</em></p> <hr /> <table> <thead> <tr> <th>Filters</th> <th></th> <th></th> </tr> </thead> <tbody> <tr> <td><a href="#" onClick="return false;">Assholes</a></td> <td><a href="#" onClick="return false;">Not Assholes</a></td> <td><a href="#" onClick="return false;">Updates</a></td> </tr> <tr> <td><a href="#" onClick="return false;">Everyone Sucks</a></td> <td><a href="#" onClick="return false;">No A-holes Here</a></td> <td><a href="#" onClick="return false;">Talks</a></td> </tr> </tbody> </table> <hr /> </div> </div> </form> <div class="bottom"> <span class="age">a community for <time title="Sat Jun 8 20:14:50 2013 UTC" datetime="2013-06-08T20:14:50+00:00">12 years</time></span> </div> </div> </div> <div class="spacer"> <div class="sidecontentbox"> <div class="title"><h1>MODERATORS</h1></div> <ul class="content"> <li class="message-button centered"><a class="c-btn c-btn-primary login-required" href="#" onClick="return false;">message the mods</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> <a name="content"></a> <div class="content" role="main"> <style> body > .content .link .rank, .rank-spacer { width: 1.1ex; } body > .content .link .midcol, .midcol-spacer { width: 5.1ex; } .adsense-wrap { background-color: #eff7ff; font-size: 18px; padding-left: 6.2ex; padding-right: 5px; } </style> <div id="siteTable" class="sitetable linklisting"> <div class="thing id-t3_1lvxapt odd  link self" id="thing_t3_1lvxapt" data-fullname="t3_1lvxapt" data-type="link" data-gildings="0" data-whitelist-status="some_ads" data-is-gallery="false" data-author="Exquisite_Ad_7523" data-author-fullname="t2_1t7uclb5cl" data-subreddit="AmItheAsshole" data-subreddit-prefixed="r/AmItheAsshole" data-subreddit-fullname="t5_2xhvq" data-subreddit-type="public" data-timestamp="1752102621000" data-url="https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole" data-permalink="https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole" data-domain="self.AmItheAsshole" data-score="3" data-promoted="false" data-nsfw="false" data-spoiler="false" data-oc="false" data-num-crossposts="0" data-context="comments"> <p class="parent"></p> <span class="rank"></span> <div class="midcol unvoted"> <div class="arrow up login-required access-required" data-event-action="upvote" role="button" aria-label="upvote" tabindex="0"></div> <div class="score dislikes" title="3"><span data-passage="pointsPassage"></span></div> <div class="score unvoted" title="3"><span data-passage="pointsPassage"></span></div> <div class="score likes" title="3"><span data-passage="pointsPassage"></span></div> <div class="arrow down login-required access-required" data-event-action="downvote" role="button" aria-label="downvote" tabindex="0"></div> </div> <div class="entry unvoted"> <div class="top-matter"> <p class="title"> <a class="title may-blank" data-event-action="title" href="#" onClick="return false;" tabindex="1"><span data-passage="postTitlePassage"></span></a> <span class="domain">(<a href="#" onClick="return false;">self.AmItheAsshole</a>)</span> </p> <p class="tagline"> submitted <time title="Wed Jul 9 23:10:21 2025 UTC" datetime="2025-07-09T23:10:21+00:00" class="live-timestamp"><span data-passage="timePassage"></span></time> <time class="edited-timestamp" datetime="2025-07-09T23:16:44+00:00">*</time> by <a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="author may-blank id-t2_1t7uclb5cl">Exquisite_Ad_7523</a><span class="userattrs"></span> </p> </div> <div class="expando expando-uninitialized" data-pin-condition="function() {return this.style.display != 'none';}"> <form action="#" class="usertext warn-on-unload" id="form-t3_1lvxaptdai"> <input type="hidden" name="thing_id" value="t3_1lvxapt" /> <div class="usertext-body may-blank-within md-container"> <div class="md" id="passages"></div> </div> </form> </div> <ul class="flat-list buttons"> <li class="first"><a href="#" onClick="return false;" data-event-action="comments" class="bylink comments may-blank" rel="nofollow">1 comment</a></li> <li class="share"><a class="post-sharing-button" href="#" onClick="return false;">share</a></li> <li class="link-save-button save-button login-required"><a href="#" onClick="return false;">save</a></li> <li> <form action="/post/hide" method="post" class="state-button hide-button"> <input type="hidden" name="executed" value="hidden" /><span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class=" " data-event-action="hide">hide</a></span> </form> </li> <li class="report-button login-required"><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="reportbtn access-required" data-event-action="report">report</a></li> </ul> <div class="reportform report-t3_1lvxapt"></div> </div> <div class="child"></div> <div class="clearleft"></div> </div> <div class="clearleft"></div> </div> <div class="commentarea"> <div class="panestack-title"><span class="title">top 200 comments</span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="title-button">show 500</a></div> <div class="menuarea"> <div class="spacer"> <span class="dropdown-title lightdrop suggested">sorted by: </span> <div class="dropdown lightdrop suggested"><span class="selected">top (suggested)</span></div> <div class="drop-choices lightdrop suggested"><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">best</a><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">new</a><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">controversial</a><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">old</a><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="hidden choice">random</a><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">q&a</a><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="hidden choice">live (beta)</a></div> </div> <div class="spacer"></div> </div> <section class="infobar commentsignupbar"> <div class="commentsignupbar__container"> <a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="login-required commentsignupbar__link-wrapper"> <textarea class="commentsignupbar__textarea"></textarea> <div class="commentsignupbar__textarea-above"> <h2 class="commentsignupbar__title">Want to add to the discussion?</h2> <p class="commentsignupbar__desc">Post a comment!</p> <div class="commentsignupbar__cta-container"><span class="c-btn c-btn-primary commentsignupbar__cta-button">Create an account</span></div> </div></a > </div> </section> <div id="siteTable_t3_1lvxapt" class="sitetable nestedlisting"> <div class="thing id-t1_n29n22j stickied noncollapsed   locked comment score-hidden" id="thing_t1_n29n22j" data-fullname="t1_n29n22j" data-type="comment" data-gildings="0" data-subreddit="AmItheAsshole" data-subreddit-prefixed="r/AmItheAsshole" data-subreddit-fullname="t5_2xhvq" data-subreddit-type="public" data-author="Judgement_Bot_AITA" data-author-fullname="t2_2n55xu93" data-replies="0" data-permalink="https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole"> <p class="parent"><a name="n29n22j"></a></p> <div class="midcol unvoted"> <div class="arrow up login-required access-required" data-event-action="upvote" role="button" aria-label="upvote" tabindex="0"></div> <div class="arrow down login-required access-required" data-event-action="downvote" role="button" aria-label="downvote" tabindex="0"></div> </div> <div class="entry unvoted"> <p class="tagline"> <a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="expand">[–]</a><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="author moderator may-blank id-t2_2n55xu93">Judgement_Bot_AITA</a><span class="flairrichtext flaircolorlight flair" title="Beep Boop" style="background-color: #349e48; border-color: #349e48"><span>Beep Boop</span></span ><span class="userattrs">[<a class="moderator" title="moderator of r/AmItheAsshole, speaking officially" href="#" onClick="return false;">M</a>]</span> <span class="score-hidden" title="scores for stickied comments are visible to mods only">[score hidden]</span> <time title="Wed Jul 9 23:11:49 2025 UTC" datetime="2025-07-09T23:11:49+00:00" class="live-timestamp"><span data-passage="timePassage"></span></time> <span class="stickied-tagline" title="selected by this subreddit's moderators">stickied comment</span><span class="locked-tagline" title="locked by this subreddit's moderators">locked comment</span> <a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="numchildren">(0 children)</a> </p> <form action="#" class="usertext warn-on-unload" id="form-t1_n29n22jgl4"> <input type="hidden" name="thing_id" value="t1_n29n22j" /> <div class="usertext-body may-blank-within md-container"> <div class="md"> <span data-passage="modText"></span> </div> </div> </form> <ul class="flat-list buttons"> <li class="first"><a href="#" onClick="return false;" data-event-action="permalink" class="bylink" rel="nofollow">permalink</a></li> <li><a href="#" onClick="return false;" data-comment="https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole" data-media="www.redditmedia.com" data-link="https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole" data-root="true" class="embed-comment">embed</a></li> <li class="comment-save-button save-button login-required"><a href="#" onClick="return false;">save</a></li> <li class="report-button login-required"><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="reportbtn access-required" data-event-action="report">report</a></li> </ul> <div class="reportform report-t1_n29n22j"></div> </div> <div class="child"></div> <div class="clearleft"></div> </div> <div class="clearleft"></div> <!-- <div class="thing id-t1_n2a3bik noncollapsed   morechildren" id="thing_t1_n2a3bik" data-fullname="t1_n2a3bik" data-type="morechildren" data-gildings="0"> <p class="parent"></p> <div class="entry unvoted"> <p class="tagline"></p> <span class="morecomments" ><a style="font-size: smaller; font-weight: bold" class="button" id="more_t1_n2a3bik" href="#" onClick="return false;" >load more comments<span class="gray"> (324 replies)</span></a></span > <ul class="flat-list buttons"></ul> <div class="reportform report-t1_n2a3bik"></div> </div> <div class="child"></div> <div class="clearleft"></div> </div> <div class="clearleft"></div> --> </div> </div> </div> <div class="footer-parent"> <div by-zero class="footer rounded"> <div class="col"> <ul class="flat-vert hover"> <li class="flat-vert title">about</li> <li><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">blog</a></li> <li><span class="separator"></span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">about</a></li> <li><span class="separator"></span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">advertising</a></li> <li><span class="separator"></span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">careers</a></li> </ul> </div> <div class="col"> <ul class="flat-vert hover"> <li class="flat-vert title">help</li> <li><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">site rules</a></li> <li><span class="separator"></span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">Reddit help center</a></li> <li><span class="separator"></span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">reddiquette</a></li> <li><span class="separator"></span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">mod guidelines</a></li> <li><span class="separator"></span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">contact us</a></li> </ul> </div> <div class="col"> <ul class="flat-vert hover"> <li class="flat-vert title">apps & tools</li> <li><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">Reddit for iPhone</a></li> <li><span class="separator"></span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="choice">Reddit for Android</a></li> <li><span class="separator"></span><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="mweb-redirect-btn choice">mobile website</a></li> </ul> </div> <div class="col"> <ul class="flat-vert hover"> <li class="flat-vert title"><3</li> <li><a href="#" onClick="return false;" class="buygold choice">reddit premium</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> <p class="bottommenu">Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our <a href="#" onClick="return false;">User Agreement</a> and <a href="#" onClick="return false;">Privacy Policy</a>. © 2025 reddit inc. All rights reserved.</p> <p class="bottommenu">REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.</p> </div> <p class="bottommenu debuginfo"><span class="icon">π</span> <span class="content">Rendered by PID 41727 on reddit-service-r2-loggedout-fb9696cdf-df2kf at 2025-07-10 02:53:34.544585+00:00 running 1728acd country code: SE.</span></p> </div>
$time
<<nobr>> <<set _flag1 to random(0, 2)>> <<if _flag1 is 0>> <<set $asl2 to "23">><<set $asl1 to "22">><<set $partner to "romantic partner">> <<set $they to "they">> <<set $them to "them">> <<set $their to "their">> <<set $theywere to "they were">> <<set $people to "straight people ever again, or with ">> <<elseif _flag1 is 1>> <<set $asl2 to "F23">><<set $asl1 to "M22">><<set $partner to "boyfriend">> <<set $they to "she">> <<set $them to "her">> <<set $their to "her">> <<set $theywere to "she was">> <<set $people to "straight women ever again, or with ">> <<else>> <<set $asl2 to "M23">><<set $asl1 to "F22">><<set $partner to "girlfriend">><<set $people to "">> <<set $they to "he">> <<set $them to "him">> <<set $their to "his">> <<set $theywere to "he was">> <</if>> <</nobr>><<set $removed to false>><<set $points to 3>><<set $pointsPercent to 75>><<set $postTitle to "AITA for abruptly cutting ties with my only friend for putting an arm around my shoulder?">><<set $time to "9 minutes ago">>I just cut ties with my only friend and blocked $them. We met in college and we've known each other for years. We genuinely got along well. <<= $theywere.toUpperFirst()>> fun to hang around and I enjoyed my time with $them. But sometimes $they would put $their arm around my shoulder. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> insisted we were doing it "as friends", but it made me uncomfortable because it made it seem like we were romantically involved. Recently I traveled with my family overseas, partly to visit relatives but mostly to have fun, where I'll stay for about a month and a half before starting my post-graduation career. I got a job that pays about thirty thousand dollars a year more than what $they currently <<= setup.p("make", "makes") >> and $they <<= setup.p("know", "knows") >> this. After a week overseas, and some time thinking, I decided to call $them and ask for some space from the friendship. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> in complete shock. <<= $they.toUpperFirst() >> kept saying "I didn't think anything was wrong", "what did I do incorrectly", "I just wanted a souvenir and some photos of the trip, is that too much to ask" and so on. After all, I hadn't given $them any indication that $they'd done anything wrong. I told $them how I didn't like how $they kept putting $their arm around my shoulder and $they said okay then, $they would stop, $they wouldn't do anything I didn't want $them to do. But at that point I just didn't want to interact with $them anymore. So I kept going with the "I need some space" stuff. Towards the end I think $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> crying, because I could hear $their voice hitching. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> basically begging me to stay in touch with $them. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> said "I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me earlier". I said "I know I'm being kind of an asshole right now, but I just can't deal with this anymore" and hung up on $them while $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> still trying to talk. Then I blocked $them everywhere. It's been a few days. I've felt some regret and thought several times about apologizing and going back in contact with $them. Should I unblock $them? Should I apologize? <span class="nextButton">[[Next|start2]]</span>
<<set $points to 4>><<set $pointsPercent to 80>><<set $postTitle to "AITA for abruptly cutting ties with my only friend with no warning?">><<set $time to "34 minutes ago">>I just cut ties with my only friend and blocked $them. <span class="editC">I ($asl1) met $them ($asl2) in freshman year of college and now we're both recent grads living in separate US states. The year I met $them, $they confessed to having a crush on me that I didn't reciprocate, but we agreed to just stay friends.</span> We genuinely got along well. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> fun to hang around and I enjoyed my time with $them. But sometimes $they would <span class="editC">hold my hand, or put $their arm around my shoulder</span>. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> insisted we were doing it "as friends", but it made me uncomfortable because it made it seem like we were romantically involved. Recently I traveled with my family overseas, partly to visit relatives but mostly to have fun, where I'll stay for about a month and a half before starting my post-graduation career. I got a job that pays about thirty thousand dollars a year more than what $they currently <<= setup.p("make", "makes") >> and $they <<= setup.p("know", "knows") >> this. After a week overseas, and some time thinking, I decided to call $them and ask for some space from the friendship. <span class="editC">At first I made up a lie about how my grandparents were with me and I had to take care of them, and I exaggerated my dad's medical issues and the number of relatives we had to meet, telling him I was busy with family and wouldn't have the time to talk for a while. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> still insisted on me texting $them occasionally and buying $them a souvenir for when I came back. So I gave $them an "I need some space" speech.</span> <<= $they.toUpperFirst() >> <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> in complete shock. <<= $they.toUpperFirst() >> kept saying "I didn't think anything was wrong", "what did I do incorrectly", "I just wanted a souvenir and some photos of the trip, is that too much to ask" and so on. After all, I hadn't given $them any indication that he'd done anything wrong. I told $them how I didn't like how $they kept <span class="editC">holding my hand and putting $their arm around my shoulder</span> and $they said okay then, $they would stop, $they wouldn't do anything I didn't want $them to do. But at that point I just didn't want to interact with $them anymore. So I kept going with the "I need some space" stuff. Towards the end I think $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> crying, because I could hear $their voice hitching. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> basically begging me to stay in touch with $them. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> said "I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me earlier". I said "I know I'm being kind of an asshole right now, but I just can't deal with this anymore" and hung up on $them while $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> still trying to talk. Then I blocked $them everywhere. It's been a few days. I've felt some regret and thought several times about apologizing and going back in contact with $them. <span class="editC">Maybe I can get $them to agree to not meet me in person from now on, but we can still talk to each other from a distance. I liked doing that more or less. Or maybe I can just let $them know I don't hate $them and it's okay if we exchange text messages or photos sometimes.</span> Should I unblock $them? Should I apologize? <span class="nextButton">[[Next|start3]]</span>
$postTitle
<<set $points to 6>><<set $pointsPercent to 60>><<set $postTitle to "AITA for abruptly cutting ties with my only friend?">><<set $time to "1 hour ago">>I just cut ties with my only friend and blocked $them. I ($asl1) met $them ($asl2) in freshman year of college and now we're both recent grads living in separate US states. The year I met $them, $they confessed to having a crush on me. <span class="editC">I'm not interested in relationships or romance at all and have no intention to ever be in a relationship. I told $them that, and</span> we agreed to just stay friends. We genuinely got along well. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> fun to hang around and I enjoyed my time with $them. But sometimes $they would hold my hand, or put $their arm around my shoulder <span class="editC">or $their head in my lap while we watched movies together, in $their room and on $their bed at $their invitation. And on rare occasions $they would hug me and then kiss me on the shoulder</span>. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> insisted we were doing it "as friends", but it made me uncomfortable because it made it seem like we were romantically involved. <span class="editC">Towards the end of our friendship we went on a few road trips together and even stayed in a hotel together for several nights on our last trip, where we rented a room with two queen beds and slept in different beds. For the first two road trips $they drove $their car and we split the bill for gas, food, etc, and for the last one I drove my dad's car and we still split the bill. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> never tried to do anything to me in the hotel room beyond sitting in my bed, with the blankets around the two of us, while we were both clothed, and putting $their arm around my shoulder. I didn't like it, but didn't feel right saying no when we'd already done something similar so many times before. Shortly after our last road trip,</span> I traveled with my family overseas, partly to visit relatives but mostly to have fun, where I'll stay for about a month and a half before starting my post-graduation career. I got a job that pays about thirty thousand dollars a year more than what $they currently <<= setup.p("make", "makes") >> and $they <<= setup.p("know", "knows") >> this. After a week overseas, and some time thinking, I decided to call $them and ask for some space from the friendship. At first I made up a lie about how my grandparents were with me and I had to take care of them, and I exaggerated my dad's medical issues and the number of relatives we had to meet, telling him I was busy with family and wouldn't have the time to talk for a while. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> still insisted on me texting $them occasionally and buying $them a souvenir for when I came back. So I gave $them an "I need some space" speech<span class="editC">, which was kind of based on what ChatGPT told me when I asked it for advice a few minutes earlier before calling $them</span>. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> in complete shock. <<= $they.toUpperFirst() >> kept saying "I didn't think anything was wrong", "what did I do incorrectly", "I just wanted a souvenir and some photos of the trip, is that too much to ask" and so on. After all, I hadn't given $them any indication that $they'd done anything wrong. I told $them how I didn't like how $they kept <span class="editC">touching me</span> and $they said okay then, $they would stop, $they wouldn't do anything I didn't want $them to do. But at that point I just didn't want to interact with $them anymore. So I kept going with the "I need some space" stuff. Towards the end I think $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> crying, because I could hear $their voice hitching. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> basically begging me to stay in touch with $them. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> said "I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me earlier". I said "I know I'm being kind of an asshole right now, but I just can't deal with this anymore" and hung up on $them while $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> still trying to talk. Then I blocked $them everywhere. <span class="editC">I don't think $they<<= setup.p("'ve", "'s")>> ever had a $partner before. I was one of $their closest friends, just like how $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> my only friend.</span> It's been a few days. I've felt some regret and thought several times about apologizing and going back in contact with $them. Maybe I can get $them to agree to not meet me in person from now on, but we can still talk to each other from a distance. I liked doing that more or less. Or maybe I can just let $them know I don't hate $them and it's okay if we exchange text messages or photos sometimes. <span class="editC">But I feel like if I contact $them again, $they'll eventually start pushing to meet in person and I just don't feel like going through the trouble to meet $them in person, even if $they <<= setup.p("don't", "doesn't")>> touch me at all. Though maybe I'm wrong, since $they <<= setup.p("do", "does")>> respect boundaries once I've laid them out. What do I do about $them?</span> Should I unblock $them? Should I apologize? <span class="nextButton">[[Next|start4]]</span>
<<set $points to 8>><<set $pointsPercent to 67>><<set $postTitle to "AITA for abruptly cutting ties with my ex-friend?">><<set $time to "2 hours ago">>I just cut ties with my only friend and blocked $them. I ($asl1) met $them ($asl2) in freshman year of college and now we're both recent grads living in separate US states. The year I met $them, $they confessed to having a crush on me. I'm not interested in relationships or romance at all and have no intention to ever be in a relationship. <span class="editC">But the year I met $them, I thought $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> cool and spent a lot of time alone with $them, which I interpreted as just being good friends, and $they definitely interpreted as flirting. I didn't know enough about relationships at the time and didn't think about how stuff like watching movies in the study room together, just the two of us, would be perceived as romantic. I was surprised when $they confessed to having a crush on me that year. I told $them I had no interest in romance and didn't ever want to be in a relationship, so</span> we agreed to just stay friends. We genuinely got along <span class="editC">alright, not that I really loved $them, since I've never really loved anyone, but $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> fun to hang around and I mostly enjoyed my time with $them. I didn't have any other friends, either.</span> <span class="editC">There was a time after we agreed to just stay friends when $they started kissing me on the lips. I hated it, and after a few months I worked up the nerve to tell $them I didn't like it and tell $them to stop. I also asked if we could stop talking for a while, and we did, but I never blocked $them or anything. So after a few months $they called me and I answered because I was bored and lonely. We went back to regular contact.</span> <span class="editC">Even after that,</span> $they would hold my hand, or put $their arm around my shoulder or $their head in my lap while we watched movies together, in $their room and on $their bed at $their invitation. And on rare occasions $they would hug me and then kiss me on the shoulder. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> insisted we were doing it "as friends", but it made me uncomfortable because it made it seem like we were romantically involved. <span class="editC">But I didn't make a move to dissuade $them from any of this, even though it made me uncomfortable, because $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> my only friend and I liked talking to $them, and I was afraid of making $them mad if I told $them I didn't like it. Also $they had a car and I didn't, and I liked having $them drive me to the grocery store and other places near campus.</span> Towards the end of our friendship we went on a few road trips together and even stayed in a hotel together for several nights on our last trip, where we rented a room with two queen beds and slept in different beds. For the first two road trips $they drove $their car and we split the bill for gas, food, etc, and for the last one I drove my dad's car and we still split the bill. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> never tried to do anything to me in the hotel room beyond sitting in my bed, with the blankets around the two of us, while we were both clothed, and putting $their arm around my shoulder. I didn't like it, but didn't feel right saying no when we'd already done something similar so many times before. Shortly after our last road trip, I traveled with my family overseas, partly to visit relatives but mostly to have fun, where I'll stay for about a month and a half before starting my post-graduation career. I got a job that pays about thirty thousand dollars a year more than what $they currently <<= setup.p("make", "makes") >> and $they <<= setup.p("know", "knows") >> this. After a week overseas, and some time thinking, I decided to call $them and ask for some space from the friendship. At first I made up a lie about how my grandparents were with me and I had to take care of them, and I exaggerated my dad's medical issues and the number of relatives we had to meet, telling him I was busy with family and wouldn't have the time to talk for a while. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> still insisted on me texting $them occasionally and buying $them a souvenir for when I came back. So I gave $them an "I need some space" speech, which was kind of based on what ChatGPT told me when I asked it for advice a few minutes earlier before calling $them. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> in complete shock. <<= $they.toUpperFirst() >> kept saying "I didn't think anything was wrong", "what did I do incorrectly", "I just wanted a souvenir and some photos of the trip, is that too much to ask" and so on. <span class="editC"><<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> said $they hadn't done anything wrong, and I agreed with $them because I felt bad for $them and I really don't think I gave enough of an indication that I was uncomfortable with $their actions.</span> I told $them how I didn't like how $they kept touching me and $they said okay then, $they would stop, $they wouldn't do anything I didn't want $them to do. But at that point I just didn't want to interact with $them anymore. So I kept going with the "I need some space" stuff. <span class="editC">I said a lot of stuff I'd been thinking, like "you want something from me that I can't give you", to which $they replied "I don't want anything from you! I'll stop doing anything you don't want me to do!"</span> Towards the end I think $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> crying, because I could hear $their voice hitching. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> basically begging me to stay in touch with $them. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> said "I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me earlier". I said "I know I'm being kind of an asshole right now, but I just can't deal with this anymore" and hung up on $them while $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> still trying to talk. Then I blocked $them everywhere. <span class="editC">What should I do in the future to avoid this kind of situation? Should I just never try to be good friends with $people people who might become attracted to me? I know I fucked it up. I keep thinking about how I've ruined $their life for at least a few weeks by cutting off contact with $them.</span> I don't think $they<<= setup.p("'ve", "'s")>> ever had a $partner before. I was one of $their closest friends, just like how $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> my only friend. It's been a few days. I've felt some regret and thought several times about apologizing and going back in contact with $them. Maybe I can get $them to agree to not meet me in person from now on, but we can still talk to each other from a distance. I liked doing that more or less. Or maybe I can just let $them know I don't hate $them and it's okay if we exchange text messages or photos sometimes. But I feel like if I contact $them again, $they'll eventually start pushing to meet in person and I just don't feel like going through the trouble to meet $them in person, even if $they <<= setup.p("don't", "doesn't")>> touch me at all. Though maybe I'm wrong, since $they <<= setup.p("do", "does")>> respect boundaries once I've laid them out. <span class="editC">Once I told $them not to kiss me, $they never kissed me on the lips again.</span> What do I do about $them? Should I unblock $them? Should I apologize? <span class="nextButton">[[Next|start5]]</span>
<<set $points to 7>><<set $pointsPercent to 62>><<set $postTitle to "AITA for cutting ties with my ex-friend?">><<set $time to "4 hours ago">>I just cut ties with my only friend and blocked $them. I ($asl1) met $them ($asl2) in freshman year of college and now we're both recent grads living in separate US states. The year I met $them, $they confessed to having a crush on me. I'm not interested in relationships or romance at all and have no intention to ever be in a relationship. But the year I met $them, I thought $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> cool and spent a lot of time alone with $them, which I interpreted as just being good friends, and $they definitely interpreted as flirting. I didn't know enough about relationships at the time and didn't think about how stuff like watching movies in the study room together, just the two of us, would be perceived as romantic, <span class="editC">because I was a naive idiot</span>. I was surprised when $they confessed to having a crush on me that year. I told $them I had no interest in romance and didn't ever want to be in a relationship, so we agreed to just stay friends. <span class="editC"><<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> confessed in front of our entire friend group, and everyone heard the resulting conversation. It was awkward. Within a few weeks after the conversation, our friend group decided $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> being creepy, since apparently $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> talking about things like how "I was the only person who understood $them" and "I was so similar to $them, I could be $their clone". The group started shit-talking $them behind $their back, saying things like "$they<<= setup.p("'re", "'s")>> so annoying" and "everyone hates $them" when $they <<= setup.p("weren't", "wasn't")>> there, and trying to freeze $them out of the group without telling $them directly. Stuff like making a new group chat without $them, telling $them we would meet in one place and then going somewhere else, and so on. I decided that was asshole behavior and I liked my friend more than the group, so I drifted away from the group over that.</span> <span class="editC">As for my friend and me,</span> we genuinely got along alright. Not that I really loved $them, since I've never really loved anyone, but $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> fun to hang around and I mostly enjoyed my time with $them. I didn't have any other friends, either. <span class="editC">I've never found it easy to make friends and maybe part of that is because I don't like people that much to begin with. Sometimes when I was hanging out with $them, or even with my earlier friend group, I would think "this is fun, but I'd be having more fun or the same amount of fun if I was alone in my room, playing video games or reading or browsing the Internet".</span> There was a time after we agreed to just stay friends when $they started kissing me on the lips. I hated it, and after a few months I worked up the nerve to tell $them I didn't like it and tell $them to stop. I also asked if we could stop talking for a while, and we did, but I never blocked $them or anything. So after a few months $they called me and I answered because I was bored and lonely. We went back to regular contact. Even after that, $they would hold my hand, or put $their arm around my shoulder or $their head in my lap while we watched movies together, in $their room and on $their bed at $their invitation. And on rare occasions $they would hug me and then kiss me on the shoulder. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> insisted we were doing it "as friends", but it made me uncomfortable because it made it seem like we were romantically involved. But I didn't make a move to dissuade $them from any of this, even though it made me uncomfortable, because $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> my only friend and I liked talking to $them, and I was afraid of making $them mad if I told $them I didn't like it. Also $they had a car and I didn't, and I liked having $them drive me to the grocery store and other places near campus. Towards the end of our friendship we went on a few road trips together and even stayed in a hotel together for several nights on our last trip, where we rented a room with two queen beds and slept in different beds. For the first two road trips $they drove $their car and we split the bill for gas, food, etc, and for the last one I drove my dad's car and we still split the bill. <span class="editC">I didn't really want to go on that last trip, but felt obligated to agree to it after $they asked me about going, because $they had been the one to take me on our previous trips. On the last trip I think I paid a larger share of the money, since I paid the gas and never asked $them to split the gas bill like $they would ask me to, but I was planning on cutting ties with $them anyway at that point. I wanted to make sure $they couldn't hold the money $they'd paid over my head by not making $them pay any extra fees.</span> <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> never tried to do anything to me in the hotel room beyond sitting in my bed, with the blankets around the two of us, while we were both clothed, and putting $their arm around my shoulder. I didn't like it, but didn't feel right saying no when we'd already done something similar so many times before. Shortly after our last road trip, I traveled with my family overseas, partly to visit relatives but mostly to have fun, where I'll stay for about a month and a half before starting my post-graduation career. I got a job that pays about thirty thousand dollars a year more than what $they currently <<= setup.p("make", "makes") >> and $they <<= setup.p("know", "knows") >> this. After a week overseas <span class="editC">where I ignored their messages the whole time</span>, and some time thinking, I decided to call $them and ask for some space from the friendship. At first I made up a lie about how my grandparents were with me and I had to take care of them, and I exaggerated my dad's medical issues and the number of relatives we had to meet, telling him I was busy with family and wouldn't have the time to talk for a while. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> still insisted on me texting $them occasionally and buying $them a souvenir for when I came back. So I gave $them an "I need some space" speech, which was kind of based on what ChatGPT told me when I asked it for advice a few minutes earlier before calling $them. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> in complete shock. <<= $they.toUpperFirst() >> kept saying "I didn't think anything was wrong", "what did I do incorrectly", "I just wanted a souvenir and some photos of the trip, is that too much to ask" and so on. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> said $they hadn't done anything wrong, and I agreed with $them because I felt bad for $them and I really don't think I gave enough of an indication that I was uncomfortable with $their actions. I told $them how I didn't like how $they kept touching me and $they said okay then, $they would stop, $they wouldn't do anything I didn't want $them to do. But at that point I just didn't want to interact with $them anymore. So I kept going with the "I need some space" stuff. I said a lot of stuff I'd been thinking, like "you want something from me that I can't give you", to which $they replied "I don't want anything from you! I'll stop doing anything you don't want me to do!" Towards the end I think $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> crying, because I could hear $their voice hitching. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> basically begging me to stay in touch with $them. <<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> said "I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me earlier" <span class="editC">and "I'm so stressed, you don't understand how hard it is for me, I have to fucking work every day and I live in [small town] and there's nothing for me to do and no one I can meet, while you're enjoying your vacation in another country"</span>. I said "I know I'm being kind of an asshole right now, but I just can't deal with this anymore" and hung up on $them while $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> still trying to talk. Then I blocked $them everywhere. What should I do in the future to avoid this kind of situation? Should I just never try to be good friends with $people people who might become attracted to me? I know I fucked it up. <span class="editC"><<= $they.toUpperFirst()>> mentioned briefly, a long time ago, that if it wasn't for me, maybe the friend group we had back then would've accepted $them and kept $them in. I keep thinking about how I basically ruined $their social life and now</span> I keep thinking about how I've ruined $their life for at least a few weeks by cutting off contact with $them. I don't think $they<<= setup.p("'ve", "'s")>> ever had a $partner before. I was one of $their closest friends, just like how $they <<= setup.p("were", "was")>> my only friend. <span class="editC">Should I just never try to be friends with anyone period? I don't even know how you're supposed to meet people as an adult, and a part of me thinks maybe I shouldn't try, since I can be happy alone. You can be happy without having any friends, right? I'm extraordinarily lucky to have parents who love me and relatives I can talk to and play video games with, and maybe that can be enough for me.</span> It's been a few days. I've felt some regret and thought several times about apologizing and going back in contact with $them. Maybe I can get $them to agree to not meet me in person from now on, but we can still talk to each other from a distance. I liked doing that more or less. Or maybe I can just let $them know I don't hate $them and it's okay if we exchange text messages or photos sometimes. <span class="editC">But ultimately I think that would be salt on the wound since what $they <<= setup.p("want", "wants")>> is a $partner and I can't be one.</span> I feel like if I contact $them again, $they'll eventually start pushing to meet in person and I just don't feel like going through the trouble to meet $them in person, even if $they <<= setup.p("don't", "doesn't")>> touch me at all. Though maybe I'm wrong, since $they <<= setup.p("do", "does")>> respect boundaries once I've laid them out. Once I told $them not to kiss me, $they never kissed me on the lips again. What do I do about $them? Should I unblock $them? Should I apologize? <span class="editC">This is a real story. Everything here happened, more or less. Please help.</span> <span class="nextButton">[[Help]]</span>
<<set $removed to true>><<set $points to 7>><<set $pointsPercent to 62>><<set $postTitle to "[removed]">><<set $time to "5 hours ago">>[removed] <span class="nextButton">[[Restart|start1]]</span>
$points
$pointsPercent
<iframe src="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfbSO72SPi2iwlgYI04ML0eCGGbC6ZzKucofXtN887vtOnPMQ/viewform?embedded=true" width="500" height="500" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0">Loading…</iframe> <span class="nextButton">[[End|end]]</span>
<<nobr>><<if $removed is false>> <p>Welcome to <a href="#" onClick="return false;">/r/AmITheAsshole</a>. Please view our <a href="#" onClick="return false;">voting guide here</a>, and remember to use <strong>only one</strong> judgement in your comment.</p> <p>OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:</p> <blockquote> <p>I think I'm a bad person.</p> </blockquote> <p>Help keep the sub engaging!</p> <h1>Don’t downvote assholes!</h1> <p>Do upvote interesting posts!</p> <p><a href="#" onClick="return false;">Click Here For Our Rules</a> and <a href="#" onClick="return false;">Click Here For Our FAQ</a></p> <h2>Subreddit Announcements</h2> <p>Follow the link above to learn more</p> <hr /> <p> <em>I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please <a href="#" onClick="return false;">contact the moderators of this subreddit</a> if you have any questions or concerns.</em> </p> <p><em>Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.</em></p> <<else>> This post has been removed for violating Rule 9 and Rule 11. <</if>> <</nobr>>
<<script>> setup.p = (str1, str2) => { if (State.variables.they === "they") { return str1; } return str2; } <</script>>