Workshop

Have you heard of that famous six-word story attributed to Ernest Hemingway? {(live: 2s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[What story?|The Text]]]}

This one: {(live: 1s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:)  (set: $typewriterText to "For sale: baby shoes, never worn.")  (set: $typewriterPos to 1)  |typewriterOutput>[]  (live: 40ms)[  (append: ?typewriterOutput)[(print: $typewriterText's $typewriterPos)]  (set: $typewriterPos to it + 1)  (if: $typewriterPos is $typewriterText's length + 1)[ (stop:) ] ] ]} {(live: 5s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[Well, now I have.|The Challenge]]]}

It's about as brief a story as you'll ever find. {(live: 2s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) But maybe we can make it even //more// efficient.]} {(live: 4s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) Can any of the words be cut?]} {(live: 6s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[Let's test.|Test Main Page]]]}

What will you remove? {(live: 2s)[ (show:?story) (stop:) [[For]] [[sale]]: [[baby]] [[shoes]], [[never]] [[worn]].]}

It becomes a hilariously shitty ad if you cut “for.” {(live: 2s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) (set: $typewriterText to "Sale: baby shoes, never worn.") (set: $typewriterPos to 1) |typewriterOutput>[] (live: 20ms)[ (append: ?typewriterOutput)[(print: $typewriterText's $typewriterPos)] (set: $typewriterPos to it + 1) (if: $typewriterPos is $typewriterText's length + 1)[ (stop:) ] ] ]} {(live: 4s)[ (show:?story) (stop:) Well, I'd hope they were never worn if they're going on sale.]} {(live: 6s)[ (show:?story) (stop:) That “for” is integral to making the story personal instead of institutionalized. With it, we don’t have a story about a store doing what it does every day; we have a person doing something s/he might not normally do, and announcing it for all to hear.]} {(live: 8s)[ (show:?story) (stop:) We have, in effect, a story that demands to be told.]} {(live: 10s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[Cut something else.|Test Main Page]]]}

Without “sale,” you don’t have a sentence. {(live: 2s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) (set: $typewriterText to "For: baby shoes, never worn.") (set: $typewriterPos to 1) |typewriterOutput>[] (live: 20ms)[ (append: ?typewriterOutput)[(print: $typewriterText's $typewriterPos)] (set: $typewriterPos to it + 1) (if: $typewriterPos is $typewriterText's length + 1)[ (stop:) ] ] ]} {(live: 4s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) ...Yeah, we should hold on to that word.]} {(live: 6s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[Cut something else.|Test Main Page]]]}

Remove “baby,” and you have a yet more boring advertisement, somehow duller than [[the first one we created|For]]: {(live: 2s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) (set: $typewriterText to "For sale: shoes, never worn.") (set: $typewriterPos to 1) |typewriterOutput>[] (live: 20ms)[ (append: ?typewriterOutput)[(print: $typewriterText's $typewriterPos)] (set: $typewriterPos to it + 1) (if: $typewriterPos is $typewriterText's length + 1)[ (stop:) ] ] ]} {(live: 4s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) You are left with the business of every shoe store on earth. There’s nothing to it.]} {(live: 6s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) So “baby” can’t be discarded.]} {(live: 8s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[Cut something else.|Test Main Page]]]}

What if you cut “shoes?” {(live: 2s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) (set: $typewriterText to "For sale: baby, never worn.") (set: $typewriterPos to 1) |typewriterOutput>[] (live: 20ms)[ (append: ?typewriterOutput)[(print: $typewriterText's $typewriterPos)] (set: $typewriterPos to it + 1) (if: $typewriterPos is $typewriterText's length + 1)[ (stop:) ] ] ]} {(live: 5s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) Um...]} {(live: 7s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[What's the issue?|Interpretation Part 1]]]}

Cutting “never” makes the story terribly mundane. It’s not even a story at that point. {(live: 2s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) (set: $typewriterText to "For sale: baby shoes, worn.") (set: $typewriterPos to 1) |typewriterOutput>[] (live: 20ms)[ (append: ?typewriterOutput)[(print: $typewriterText's $typewriterPos)] (set: $typewriterPos to it + 1) (if: $typewriterPos is $typewriterText's length + 1)[ (stop:) ] ] ]} {(live: 4s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) Rather, it //is// a story,]}{(live: 4.5s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:)but not a particularly good one.]} {(live: 6.5s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) “Time has elapsed. The end.”]} {(live: 8.5s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) Fine, then. We must conclude “never” is essential.]} {(live: 10.5s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[Cut something else.|Test Main Page]]]}

Take away “worn,” and you have... {(live: 2s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:)An incoherent statement.]} {(live: 4s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) For sale: baby shoes, never.]} {(live: 6s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) Though I suppose if we are allowed to retool the punctuation, something defiant emerges:]} {(live: 8s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) (set: $typewriterText to "“For sale: baby shoes? Never!”") (set: $typewriterPos to 1) |typewriterOutput>[] (live: 20ms)[ (append: ?typewriterOutput)[(print: $typewriterText's $typewriterPos)] (set: $typewriterPos to it + 1) (if: $typewriterPos is $typewriterText's length + 1)[ (stop:) ] ] ]} {(live: 10.5s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) Alas, incision alone is our method; therefore, “worn” must also remain.]} {(live: 12.5s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[Cut something else.|Test Main Page]]]}

{(live: 1s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) Who wears a baby?]} {(live: 3s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) Shit, who intends to buy one //in order to wear it//?]} {(live: 5s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) In the right – or wrong – mindset, you’re left with a scene of horror. A modern Gothic masterpiece. The shortest fright ever written.]} {(live: 7s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[Sure, why not.|Interpretation Part 2]]]}

{(live: 1s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) I now wonder whether you could win a short horror competition off the allusion alone if you were to remove “shoes” from the text.]} {(live: 3s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) Would the recognition be sufficient to carry the narrative, and propel it into scary territory?]} {(live: 5s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[Let's not get ahead of ourselves here.|Interpretation Part 3]]]}

It’s enough to make one reconsider the original text: {(live: 2s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) (set: $typewriterText to "For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") (set: $typewriterPos to 1) |typewriterOutput>[] (live: 20ms)[ (append: ?typewriterOutput)[(print: $typewriterText's $typewriterPos)] (set: $typewriterPos to it + 1) (if: $typewriterPos is $typewriterText's length + 1)[ (stop:) ] ] ]} {(live: 5s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) It could be a sequel,]} {(live: 6s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) now that we know what became of the baby.]} {(live: 8s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[Dude, what the fuck.|Interpretation Part 4]]]}

{(live: 1s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) Conversely, what if the intention was for “baby” to be a material adjective?]} {(live: 3s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) Like]} {(live: 4s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:)“suede?”]} {(live: 6s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[You're scaring me.|Interpretation Part 5]]]}

{ (set: $typewriterText to "...Well.") (set: $typewriterPos to 1) |typewriterOutput>[] (live: 20ms)[ (append: ?typewriterOutput)[(print: $typewriterText's $typewriterPos)] (set: $typewriterPos to it + 1) (if: $typewriterPos is $typewriterText's length + 1)[ (stop:) ] ] } {(live: 2s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) I refuse to believe Hemingway didn’t consider that interpretation when writing it.]} {(live: 5s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) I mean, he could have clarified by writing “baby’s shoes” instead.]} {(live: 7s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) But he didn’t.]} {(live: 9s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[Yeah, how about we stop with this. Cut something else.|Test Main Page]]]}

{(live: 1s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) <span style="font-size: 300%">WORKSHOP</span>]} {(live: 2s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) By Lex Joy and Alex Rocke]} {(live: 3s)[ (show: ?story) (stop:) [[Begin.|Start]]]}