data:image/png;base64,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

[img[star-spawn]]\n\nYou try to find someplace where you can get good photos of the city, but you end up getting lost in a maze of walls and spherical structures that all look the same to you. And this cloud of mist over the city is certainly not helping.\n\n[[What a shame.|Czthnk, Xoth]]\n<<if $starHistory>>[[Pray to the Nameless Mist]]<</if>>

So you are $p_gen $p_name? Is that correct?\n\n[[Yes, now let's go!|Intro]]\n\n[[Wait, let me go back!|Start]]

While standing in the transit station, you find a map outlining the different shuttle routes across the universe. Unsurprisingly, it is a really big map that takes up almost the entire room.\n\nYou look at your transit pass. It looks like it allows you unlimited access to shuttles heading toward one of three locations in the universe (not including Earth). Where do you want to go?\n\n[[N'amorha, Yuggoth]]\n[[Czthnk, Xoth]]\n[[New Life Resort, Aszfthu]]\n\n[[Consult your notes|Notes]]

[img[star-spawn]]\n\n"I certainly can," she says. "If you would kindly follow me."\n\nThe shrine maiden takes you to a hidden library (well, it's not really "hidden" so much as you have to go out of your way to get it), and hands you an old, leather-bound book. You spend the next few hours reading through it.\n\n<div class="Handbook">In the beginning, Azathoth created the universe, the first star-spawn, and his three children, the Nameless Mist, the Nameless Darkness, and Nyarlathotep (his was the only name that has not been omitted, strangely).\n\nThe Mist brought life and existence, and believed that life, in its limited time, was like a fruit to be harvested, and should be treated well and cared for until the day comes when it is time to harvest. The Darkness, however, thought life was ultimately meaningless, and sought to bring it to a swift end. Nyarlathotep, meanwhile, was largely indifferent on the matter, though he would step in to prevent the two from quarreling.\n\nBut then, Nyarlathotep entered the Dreamlands, taking some of his followers with him, and disappeared. This left the Darkness free to assault on the Mist and her followers. The Mist, seeing no other choice, went to battle against her sister, and after a long war, defeated her. But this was a pyrrhic victory, for the Mist had lost a great deal of her power, and the Darkness was not truly slain. To amend this dishonour, the Mist chose to have her and her sister's true names omitted and forgotten, and then went into hiding.\n\nAnd so, the mist silently watches over us, protecting us from the cold darkness of nothingness, and waiting for the moment when her sister returns.</div>\n\nThere's a little more here, but that's the gist of it. Interesting. You pull out your holotop, and write about this in your notes:\n<<textarea "$starHistoryWriteup" $starHistoryWriteup>>\n\nYou then thank the Shrine Maiden, and head on your way, but not before stopping to pray to the Nameless Mist. It's only polite.\n\nAs you head back to the transit station, you feel like something's watching you from within the mist... but it's probably just your imagination.<<if !$starHistory>><<set $starHistory to true>><<set $experience += 1>><</if>>\n\n[[The mist feels a little more calming now.|Czthnk, Xoth]]

[img[Ath-naa]]\n\n\t“Fantastic! Please come inside. You’ll be given 1 hour to clean up your research and writing to make it presentable, and then you’ll be asked to submit the final document for judgement.”\n\n\t“But, the door...?”\n\n\t“It’s unlocked. Just push it.”\n\n\tYou step inside. A woman greets you, and escorts you to an empty meeting room so that you can work on your holotop in peace. You then spend the next hour trying to clean up your notes to make it as nice as possible, citing references where necessary, and then playing with the fonts a little before you finally submit what you’ve learned.\n\n\tAs the judges overview your work, you’re given a complimentary lunch. But you can barely eat, because you’re so stressed out. This is quite possibly the most stressful moment of your life. All the research, hard work, and little bit of horror that you had to put up with has lead up to this moment.\n\n\tAfter what feels like over an hour, you are approached by a familiar mi-go wearing a trenchcoat and sunglasses. "$p_gen $p_name? I'm Ath-naa. Please come with me."\n\n[[Come]]\n

[img[Mi-go]]\n\n\tYou aimlessly wander about the city of N'amorha, which is a confusing mess. Walkways and streets twist, turn, bump into each other, and then keep going as if nothing ever happened. It's like a class full of kindergarteners drew a massive art collage together, and then someone tried to interpret the result as blueprints for the layout of a city. It's a bit confusing and overwhelming, but after walking in circles for a bit, you manage to find some familiar landmarks (an exotic garden, a store shaped like a human skull, a hole the size of a city block, etc.), and slowly learn to navigate the city from there.\n\n\tSpeaking of landmarks, it doesn't take long for you to realize how no two buildings in this city are entirely alike. Sure, there's a street where every single building is snow-white, but that's about the only thing that the buildings on that street have in common. There's a massive circus tent, a cube with a door and no windows, a house that bends over the street at almost a 90 degree angle, and-- is that a lodge made out of recycled plastic bottles? Dang, these Mi-go are just always coming up with weird ideas for buildings, are they? And there's even more weird and crazy stuff that you saw, but we'd be here all day if we took the time to describe it. So instead, just sit and imagine the coolest, craziest, most out-there building you can possibly imagine. Yeah. You saw that building. It was amazing.\n\n\tWhile you're at it, you do take lots of cool photos using the built-in camera on your holotop!<<if !$migoPhotos>><<set $migoPhotos to true>><<set $experience += 1>><</if>>\n\nYou also write a little about what you saw. If you want to, that is.\n<<textarea "$migoSightsComment" $migoSightsComment>>\n\n[[Cool!|N'amorha, Yuggoth]]\n

Please enter your name:\n<<textbox "$p_name" "PLAYER">>\n\nAlso, do people refer to you as Sir, or Miss? Or something else?\n<<textbox "$p_gen" "Sir">>\n\n[[Alright, let's go!|Confirm]]

[img[star-spawn]]\n\nYou figure, "What the hey, it's not like I can think of any better ideas," and begin praying to the Nameless Mist for guidance in order to get some good photos of Czthnk.\n\nTo your surprise, the mist parts, and you find yourself standing in front of the royal palace, on top of a hill overlooking the entire city! What a breathtaking view! You quickly snap some photos before the mist returns.\n\nAs a gesture of thanks to the Nameless Mist, you print some copies of the photos you took, and then leave them at the shrine. As you leave, out of the corner of your eye, you spot a pure white star-spawn dressed in a white kimono looking at your photos. You... think she was one of the shrine maidens, but you're not sure.\n\nAnyways, wanna write about your photos?\n<<textarea "$starSightsComment" $starSightsComment>><<if !$starSights>><<set $starSigths to true>><<set $experience += 1>><</if>>\n\n[[PRAISE THE MIST!|Czthnk, Xoth]]

[img[zoog]]\n\nAs you’re wandering around town in search of a decent meal, you look up from your map to see that you’re standing in front of a McDonalds. Once again, the old adage is proven true: if there is any sign of middle class establishment, a fast food restaraunt run by a hamburger-loving clown will appear there. You roll your eyes as you turn and walk in the opposite direction, into a restaurant named “Sloppy Joe’s Sloppy Joes.” \n\nNot even a second after you enter, you bump your head against the ceiling, and realize that it’s so incredibly low, you have to crawl around the restaurant in order to avoid bumping your head. The whole place looks like it’s still under construction - You aren’t sure if that’s the intentional theme of the place, or it’s just another prime example of Zoog craftsmanship. Probably a mix of both, for all you know.\n\nYou sit down on the floor, in front of a knee-high box, and a zoog waiter that’s standing a little under 2 feet tall, wearing a hardhat and an appropriately sized apron, hands you a torn piece of paper, which you realize is the menu. You try to read it, but quickly realize how impossible that is, because it's not really a menu so much as it is a bunch of scribbles with pictures of food next to them. Whoever created this must have had only a vague idea of what a menu is. The waiter looks up at you, expectantly.\n\n[["I'll have a... sloppy joe?"]]\n[["I've decided I'm not hungry."]]

\tAre you sure you want to submit your final article, with personal comments? Once you do, you cannot change them. Unless, of course, you were to restart the game and play again, but shhhhhh.\n\nHere's your notes that you're submitting, which will take up about <<print ($experience / 2.0)>> pages<<if $experience <5>>, <span class=”warning”>which may not be sufficient enough for your application</span><</if>>:\n\n<b>N'amorha, Yuggoth</b>\n<<if $migoFood>>You ate a bowl of synthetic noodles served with To-fu balls and filtered mushroom wine at the Dark Garden, and gave it a rating of $migoFoodRating stars. <<if $migoFoodReview neq "" and $migoFoodReview neq "(none)">>You also wrote this review:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$migoFoodReview</div><</if>><<else>>You have not yet tasted any food cooked by a mi-go.<</if>>\n\n<<if $migoTrinket>>You have learned about how the mi-go like to wear strange masks that give them something akin to a face. According to the Hobo's Guide, these masks were originally intended to act as a disguise for spying on other races, but have since been repurposed.<<if $hasMigoFace>> You even got a cool $migoFace mask for yourself<</if>>. <<if $migoFaceComment neq "" and $migoFaceComment neq "(none)">>You also wrote some personal commments:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$migoFaceComment</div><</if>><<else>>You haven't found any souvenirs that helped you learn more about the mi-go.<</if>>\n\nYou don't know a thing about the history of the mi-go.\n\n<<if $migoPhotos>>You have taken lots of photos of the many unique sights in N'amorha. <<if $migoSightsComment neq "" and $migoSightsComment neq "(none)">>You had this to say about what you saw:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$migoSightsComment</div><</if>><<else>>You haven't taken any photos of N'amorha to share.<</if>>\n\n<b>Czthnk, Xoth</b>\n<<if $starFood>>You ate a plate of zowfish frybread rolls at Xynsll's, and gave it a rating of $starFoodRating stars. <<if $starFoodReview neq "" and $starFoodReview neq "(none)">>You also wrote this review:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$starFoodReview</div><</if>><<else>>You have not yet tasted any food cooked by a star-spawn.<</if>>\n\nYou haven't found any souvenirs that helped you learn more about the star-spawn.\n\n<<if $starHistory>>You visited a shrine dedicated to one of the star-spawn gods, and learned about the ancient myths of the Mist, the Darkness, and Nyarlathotep. <<if $starHistoryWriteup neq "" and $starHistoryWriteup neq "(none)">>Here's what you wrote about it:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$starHistoryWriteup</div><</if>><<else>>You don't know a thing about the history of the star-spawn.<</if>>\n\n<<if $starSights>>You were able to take some stunning photos of Czthnk, as well as the royal palace. <<if $starSightsComment neq "" and $starSightsComment neq "(none)">>Here's what you wrote:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$starSightsComment</div><</if>><<else>>You haven't taken any photos of Czthnk to share.<</if>>\n\n<b>New Life Resort, Aszfthu</b>\n<<if $zoogFood>>You ate a really sloppy Sloppy Joe at Sloppy Joe's, and gave it a rating of $zoogFoodRating stars. <<if $zoogFoodReview neq "" and $zoogFoodReview neq "(none)">>You also wrote this review:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$zoogFoodReview</div><</if>><<else>>You have not yet tasted any food cooked by a zoog.<</if>>\n\n<<if $light>>You got a handmade lantern that's lit by a magical flame from a shop selling lots of handmade magical trinkets. <<if $zoogTrinketComment neq "" and $zoogTrinketComment neq "(none)">>You also wrote this:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$zoogTrinketComment</div><</if>><<else>>You haven't found any souvenirs that helped you learn more about the zoogs.<</if>>\n\n<<if $zoogHistory>>You met an old zoog in the forest, and learned about how the zoogs once lived before they decided to create the New Life Resort. <<if $zoogHistoryComment neq "" and $zoogHistoryComment neq "(none)">>You had this to say on the matter:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$zoogHistoryComment</div><</if>><<else>>You don't know a thing about the history of the zoogs.<</if>>\n\n<<if $zoogSights>>You took some photos of the New Life Resort in all of its glory. <<if $zoogSightsComment neq "" and $zoogSightsComment neq "(none)">>You also wrote this:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$zoogSightsComment</div><</if>><<else>>You haven't taken any photos of the New Life Resort to share.<</if>>\n\nBy the way, this info isn't actually going to be sent anywhere. I'm not secretly collecting information, personal details, and comments from players, or anything like that. That said, once you submit this, your personal comments will be gone forever. So if you want to take a screenshot or anything like that (and then possibly send it to @CRatmanG), now would be a good time to do so.\n\n[[Actually, go back.|N'amorha, Yuggoth]]\n\n[[Yes, I'm sure!|Submit]]

[img[Ath-naa]]\n\nYou open the letter. It shoots out a swarm of pixels, which gather in a cloud in front of you, then form together into the faceless, insectoid figure of a mi-go wearing a pair of sunglasses, a thick trench coat concealing its wings, and a tiny bowler hat.\n\n“Greetings to you, $p_gen $p_name,” the mi-go speaks in its buzzing voice. Many have compared the Mi-go’s speaking voice to be something akin to the sound of a swarm of bees attempting to replicate human speech through the buzzing of their wings. “I am Ath-naa, speaking on behalf of Deep Thought Publications, and I am pleased to inform you that, after carefully considering your application, we have decided to proceed with you application. Now, before we can conduct your interview, we must first ask that you submit to us some test articles in order to prove to us that you are a worthy candidate. You will be asked to perform a test where you must prove your dedication to research and science, as well as enlightening the people of the universe with the knowledge you discover. Simply go out and explore the universe, document what you have experienced and observed, and then submit to us a final article. To assist in these tests, you will be provided with a Universal Travel Pass, that will allow unlimited travel to anywhere in the universe. Please note that the pass will expire two weeks after you receive this message, at which point, you must submit your work to us. We’ll be eagerly awaiting your submission.”\n\nWell, looks like you’re in business. As soon as the image of Ath-naa fades, you quickly pack your things, make yourself breakfast, and bolt straight to the nearest transit station to redeem your Travel Pass.\n\n[[Board a transit shuttle|Choose Destination]]\n<<silently>>\n<<set $migoFoodReview = "(none)">>\n<<set $migoFaceComment = "(none)">>\n<<set $migoHistoryComment = "(none)">>\n<<set $migoSightsComment = "(none)">>\n\n<<set $starFoodReview = "(none)">>\n<<set $starTrinketComment = "(none)">>\n<<set $starHistoryWriteup = "(none)">>\n<<set $starSightsComment = "(none)">>\n\n<<set $zoogFoodReview = "(none)">>\n<<set $zoogTrinketComment = "(none)">>\n<<set $zoogHistoryComment = "(none)">>\n<<set $zoogSightsComment = "(none)">>\n<<set $experience to 0>>\n<</silently>>

[img[star-spawn]]\n\nThe shopkeeper waves farewell as you take your leave.\n\t\n[[I guess not everyone can have a magic sword.|Czthnk, Xoth]]

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[img[Mi-go]]\n\nYou find a particularly young mi-go - about 3/4 of your height, give or take - and ask them for directions to the library, where all the cool kids hang out. They take your hand using the tendrils inside their massive claws, and then guide you down roads and alleyways until you reach a building that resembles a massive blue tree. Above the entrance is a sign that roughly translates to “Research and Study Archives,” which is really just another way of saying “Library.” You pull a random coin out of your pocket, and hand it to the mi-go as thanks.\n\n\tInside the “Library,” you ask for books on the history of the Mi-go. The librarian gives you directions to the “history section,” but warns you that the lighting in that particular section is malfunctioning, and they haven’t found the time to replace it.\n\n\tNavigating the “Library” feels like a maze. Shelves lined with books of varying topics lead almost every which way. Left, right, North, South, East, Southwest, North again... it’s so very confusing, and you’re worried you might get lost. Eventually, you stumble into a dark room, and reason that this must be the “history section” you’re looking for. There are some glowing mi-go spores floating about, but otherwise, it's too dark to see.\n\n\t<<if $light>>You pull out the lantern you got from New Life Resort, and begin analyzing the shelves, until you stumble upon a large black tome with the title “The Legacy of Ama-nit.” This must be a very important book, because it has a sticker on it that says, “Permanent Collection: Not available to loan.”\n\t\nYou sit down in the dark, and begin skimming through the book. \n\n<div class=”handbook”>Long ago, our kind ruled over the planet Ama-nit. There, our empire thrived as a hub for research, technology, and art. However, our reputation for being “ruthless” in our experiments left a poor impression on the rest of the galaxy. Our empire sought to fix this, and attempted to bring ambassadors from other empires to try and come to a peace agreement. \n\nHowever, this was not meant to be, as on the same day, a malevolent figure known as the Yellow King appeared, laid siege to Ama-nit, and left nothing but ash, forcing any survivors to retreat to the furthest reaches of the universe. Since then, for several thousand years, the Mi-go were hunted, and either went into hiding, or were captured and used as slaves. \n\nIn fact, Yuggoth once was a slave colony, where Mi-go were imprisoned and worked to the bone. But then, just a few centuries before the Yellow King mysteriously disappeared, we rose up against their masters and took control, re-establishing their foothold in the galaxy.\n\nNow, we look up to the stars, and remember our former homeworld. We look up, and swear that one day, we shall reclaim Ama-nit, and rebuild our empire from the ground up!</div>\n\nWhat a fascinating tale! You pull out your holotop, and begin jotting down some notes.\n<<textarea "$migoHistoryComment" $migoHistoryComment>><<if !$migoHistory>><<set $migoHistory to true>><<set $experience += 1>><</if>><<else>>You fumble around the room for a bit, before coming to the ultimate realization that you're wasting your time. You decide to come back later when you have something to help you illuminate the area.<</if>>\n\t\n[[Blow this book stand|N'amorha, Yuggoth]]

[img[Mi-go]]\n\nAfter some wandering around, you manage to locate a street lined with various restaurants. Of course, you almost immediately find the obvious food chains (is there anywhere in the universe where you can’t find a McDonalds?), but it doesn’t take long to find the more interesting and unique restaurants - there’s a restaurant where the walls and floor are all one massive fish tank, a buffet that looks like a laundromat, and even a cart that’s wheeling around and selling balls of... rice? Well, something that’s definitely edible, that much you’re sure of.\n\n\tFeeling a little overwhelmed by all the choice at your disposal, you eventually decide to settle with a classic Japanese-themed bar named "Dark Garden." You look over the menu, and decide to order a bowl of synthetic noodles served with to-fu balls and a glass of filtered spore wine.\n\nWhile you’re waiting, you decide to pull out your copy of the Hobo's Guide, and learn a bit more about mi-go culinary traditions.\n\n<div class = "Handbook">Mi-go do not have stomachs, intestines, or any sort of traditional digestive system. Rather, they get the sustenance they need by absorbing energy from light, in the same way a plant undergoes photosynthesis. When the Mi-go began “cooking” for the first time, they found themselves at somewhat of a loss, as they had never grown or harvested any sort of agricultural product. Eventually, one mi-go chef had the idea to go visit the local prison, cut off the fungal flesh off of a freshly executed prisoner, and then mould it into doughy mushroom balls, which have since been (loosely) translated as “To-fu.”</div>\n\n\tAs you finish reading that last sentence, your bowl of synthetic noodles with to-fu balls is served, and the bartender pours you a glass of filtered spore wine.\n\n\tYou stare at the bowl in contemplation. If what you just read about "to-fu" is true, you probably shouldn’t even ask about what makes the noodles “synthetic.”\n\n[[Eat it|Eat Mi-go food]]\n[[Bail out while you still can|Reject Mi-go food]]

[img[zoog]]\n\nThe second those words finish leaving your mouth, the waiter takes the menu out of your hands, and walks away.\n\nYou bump your head on the ceiling again as you crawl out.\n\n[["Ouch."|New Life Resort, Aszfthu]]

[img[star-spawn]]\n\nYou stumble into a shop filled with various weapons. Swords, guns, daggers... hey, there’s even a morningstar back there. You look around at the different weapons, and notice how they all have two properties in common.\n\n1: They’re all made with a green metal. You believe that these weapons are made using Xothanite, a strange material found on only a few planets in the universe, including its namesake, Xoth.\n\n2: They all have some sort of rune or glyph etched into them that seems to glow faintly when you hold your hand over the weapon.\n\nThe shopkeeper approaches you. "Can I help you find anything, $p_gen?” he asks.\n\n"Oh, no, I’m just browsing."\n\nThe shopkeeper looks you up and down. "Pardon me, but you don’t seem like any sort of mage."\n\n"I’m not. I’m just a scientist."\n\n"Ah. Well, I’m afraid that my weapons won’t do you much good. They’re all intended to be wielded by a mage."\n\n[[Leave with your dreams shattered|Reject Starspawn trinket]]\n[["Actually, I’m just looking for something to keep as a souvenir."|Get Starspawn trinket]]\n

[img[star-spawn]]\n\nYou pass by a small shrine with a statue of a star-spawn woman stepping out of a cloud. The shrinekeeper tells you that this is a statue of the Nameless Mist, one of the many gods that the star-spawn worship. When you ask why she's referred to as "nameless," she ignores you.\n\n[["Can you at least tell me more about the gods that the star-spawn worship?"]]\n[[Shrug and leave|Czthnk, Xoth]]

[img[star-spawn]]\n\nThe waitress sighs as she takes your menu, and you walk out of the garden, back toward the transit station.\n\n[[I never liked outdoor restraunts anyway.|Czthnk, Xoth]]

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

[img[Mi-goFaceless]]\n\n\tYou try on the mask the shopkeeper gives you, and look into a mirror. To your surprise, it works just like they said; your face has been replaced with a massive hole with a single eye that's glowing your favourite colour, with a smaller, similar eye in the top-left corner, and a series of holes where your mouth once was. Freaky! You take the mask off, and your face returns to normal.\n\n\t"I have plenty of masks to choose from," the shopkeeper happily buzzes. "Please feel free to browse!"\n\n\tAfter a few more minutes spent browsing, you find a <<textbox "$migoFace" "cyclopean">> mask that you are satisfied with. <<set $hasMigoFace to true>>\n\n\tYou then find a bench somewhere, and pull out your holotop to write a little bit about what you learned regarding these masks, cross-refrencing it with your copy of the Hobo's Handbook, and leaving some space for personal comments:\n<<textarea "$migoFaceComment" $migoFaceComment>>\n\n[[Cool.|N'amorha, Yuggoth]]

[img[zoog]]\n\nYou turn and run as fast as you can back to the resort. You don't look back until you've reached the transit station.\n\n[[Catch your breath|New Life Resort, Aszfthu]]

The Hobo's Handbook to the Universe

[img[Ath-naa]]\n\n\tYou are seated at the end of a long table, while three judges, one of them being Ath-naa, the others being a star-spawn and a human that you haven't met, sit at the other end.\n\n\tAth-naa is the first to speak. <<if $experience < 2>>"$p_gen $p_name, we have overviewed the... page... that you have given us, and decided that, unfortunately, you are not fit for our standards. As such, we will not proceed with your aplication." Ath-naa takes off their sunglasses, revealing their... lack of a face. "A shame, really. We had such high hopes for you. But, since you are clearly not as dedicated to research as we had thought, we cannot afford to have you under our employ."\n\n\tThey press a button, and the woman from before comes to escort you out. As you leave, Ath-naa calls out, "Please do not attempt further contact with us - your profile and address will be blacklisted by the end of the day."\n\n\tWithout a word, you leave the building, and head for the N'amorha city Transit Station. As you do, you notice that you still have your transit pass. Looks like you still have a while before it expires. \n\n\t"What the hell," you figure. "Might as well use it."\n\n\tYou enter the transit station, and look up at the route map. Where you go from here is up to you. Home? Maybe a vacation on Xoth? The possibilities are endless!\n\n<b>THE END</b>\n<i>Thank you for playing!</i>\n~ <span style="color:#2cd629">Cratmang</span>\n<<elseif $experience < 5>>"$p_gen $p_name, we have overviewed your submission, and decided that, while your research and content is concise and well written, unfortunately, it does not quite match up to our desired length. Thus, we will not proceed any further with your application. Nonetheless, if this is a path you still wish to follow, do not let us dissuade you; we would be more than happy to sponsor you for an application elsewhere, and we will keep your application on file for reconsideration for at least a year." Ath-naa walks over to you, then holds out their open claw, offering to shake their tendrils. "Thank you for applying. We'll keep in touch."\n\n\tWithout a word, you leave the building, and head for the N'amorha city Transit Station. As you do, you notice that you still have your transit pass. Looks like you still have a while before it expires. \n\n\t"What the hell," you figure. "Might as well use it."\n\n\tYou enter the transit station, and look up at the route map. Where you go from here is up to you. Home? Maybe a vacation on Xoth? The possibilities are endless!\n\n<b>THE END</b>\n<i>Thank you for playing!</i>\n~ <span style="color:#2cd629">Cratmang</span>\n<<else>>"$p_gen $p_name, we have overviewed your submission, and we are very impressed with the amount of research you've done, and your dedication to sharing your experience with the universe. As such, we would be happy to have you on our team. That is of course," Ath-naa takes of their glasses for dramatic effect, revealing their... lack of a face, before continuing, "if you are still willing."\n\nThere is a moment of silence across the table, before you finally stand up. You take a deep breath. You know exactly what to say here.\n[["I accept!"]]\n[["No thanks."]]\n<</if>>

[img[zoog]]\n\nYeah, on second thought, that can will probably suffice. Maybe you can think of something really creative and witty to say about the zoogs regarding the can.\n\nProbably not.\n\n[[I guess that's cool?|New Life Resort, Aszfthu]]

[img[zoog]]\n\nThe current edition of the Hobo's Handbook doesn't appear to have any pictures of the New Life Resort in it, so you take some photos of the dump in order to fix that.\n\nYou also consider adding some comments. You know, to explain that the stack of refrigerators is, in fact, a bathroom.<<if !$zoogSights>><<set $zoogSights to true>><<set $experience += 1>><</if>>\n<<textarea "$zoogSightsComment" $zoogSightsComment>>\n\n[[How disgusting.|New Life Resort, Aszfthu]]\n

[img[zoog]]\n\nThe zoog takes the paper back, and then heads straight for the kitchen on all fours.\n\nHe returns a half-hour later balancing a plate of food on his back. The food in question is a pile of varying mystery meats and strange vegetables covered with equally varying sauces, topped with an imperfectly square slice of cheese, all encased in a bun. You carefully take the plate, and then bite into the absolute mess sandwich.\n\nHave you ever tried to eat a sandwich with every type of meat in it at once? It’s not as good as it might sound.\n\nThe zoog comes to take away your plate, and hands you a bundle of napkins so that you can wipe all of the sauce off your hands and face. You then pull out your holotop, and proceed to write your review.<<if !$zoogFood>><<set $zoogFood to true>><<set $experience += 1>><</if>>\n\nWrite a review (or don't)!\n<<textarea "$zoogFoodReview" $zoogFoodReview>>\n\nAnd give a rating!\n[[0*|New Life Resort, Aszfthu][$zoogFoodRating to 0]] [[1*|New Life Resort, Aszfthu][$zoogFoodRating to 1]] [[2*|New Life Resort, Aszfthu][$zoogFoodRating to 2]] [[3*|New Life Resort, Aszfthu][$zoogFoodRating to 3]] [[4*|New Life Resort, Aszfthu][$zoogFoodRating to 4]] [[5*|New Life Resort, Aszfthu][$zoogFoodRating to 5]]\n

[img[Mi-goFaceless]]\n\n\tYou find yourself in a bazaar. The bustling street is lined with stores selling various gadgets and knick-knacks which, to you, look like pieces of garbage cobbled together, but the mi-go seem more than willing to purchase. You stop one of the mi-go shoppers and ask them why they purchased the item that they did, to which they reply, “This is actually the exact piece that I was looking for in order to perform my experiment!” And then fly off. You, being a flightless homo sapien, shrug, and continue browsing the bazaar.\n\n\tEventually, you come across a store that has several different masks on display. Not halloween masks, fancy ball masks, or even gas masks, but rather they depict various grotesque faces with black spots which you assume to be eyes, and a series of holes in place of a mouth. You notice a sign beneath the display: “Handcrafted Faces - try a new look today!”\n\n\tThe mi-go shopkeeper notices you, and waves you over with their meaty claw. “Would you care for a demonstration?” The shopkeeper says in an alluring voice (well, as alluring as a ball filled with swarming bees can sound). They grab a mask at random and show it to you. The mask depicts a massive, central eye that covers almost the entire face, a smaller eye in the top-left corner, and some holes for a mouth along the bottom-right corner. It almost reminds you of a painting by Picasso. They place the mask on the front of their spore-covered “head”, then watch as it fuses to it, essentially becoming the mi-go’s face. They stare and blink at you. If you hadn’t known that it was a mask, you would have mistaken it for the real thing.\n\n“Can you take it off?” You ask.\n\n“Of course I can.” The shopkeeper grabs either end of their “head” with their claws, pulls the mask off with ease, and then hands it to you. “Give it a try!” <<if !$migoTrinket>><<set $migoTrinket to true>><<set $experience += 1>><</if>>\n\n[["Sure, why not?"|Get Mi-go Trinket]]\n[["I think I'll pass."|Reject Mi-go Trinket]]

You consult your notes. You currently have enough content to fill <<print ($experience / 2.0)>> pages<<if $experience <5>>, <span class=”warning”>which may not be sufficient enough for your application</span><</if>>.\n\n<b>N'amorha, Yuggoth</b>\n<<if $migoFood>>You ate a bowl of synthetic noodles served with To-fu balls and filtered mushroom wine at the Dark Garden, and gave it a rating of $migoFoodRating stars. <<if $migoFoodReview neq "" and $migoFoodReview neq "(none)">>You also wrote this review:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$migoFoodReview</div><</if>><<else>>You have not yet tasted any food cooked by a mi-go.<</if>>\n\n<<if $migoTrinket>>You have learned about how the mi-go like to wear strange masks that give them something akin to a face. According to the Hobo's Guide, these masks were originally intended to act as a disguise for spying on other races, but have since been repurposed.<<if $hasMigoFace>> You even got a cool $migoFace mask for yourself<</if>>. <<if $migoFaceComment neq "" and $migoFaceComment neq "(none)">>You also wrote some personal commments:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$migoFaceComment</div><</if>><<else>>You haven't found any souvenirs that helped you learn more about the mi-go.<</if>>\n\n<<if $migoHistory>>You have found a volume detailing the history of the mi-go empire, and the fall of Ama-nit at the hand of the Yellow King. <<if $migoHistoryComment neq "" and $migoHistoryComment neq "(none)">>This is what you wrote about the topic:\n\n$migoHistoryComment<</if>><<else>>You don't know a thing about the history of the mi-go.<</if>>\n\n<<if $migoPhotos>>You have taken lots of photos of the... many unique sights in N'amorha. <<if $migoSightsComment neq "" and $migoSightsComment neq "(none)">>You had this to say about what you saw:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$migoSightsComment</div><</if>><<else>>You haven't taken any photos of N'amorha to share.<</if>>\n\n<b>Czthnk, Xoth</b>\n<<if $starFood>>You ate a plate of zowfish frybread rolls at Xynsll's, and gave it a rating of $starFoodRating stars. <<if $starFoodReview neq "" and $starFoodReview neq "(none)">>You also wrote this review:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$starFoodReview</div><</if>><<else>>You have not yet tasted any food cooked by a star-spawn.<</if>>\n\n<<if $starTrinket>>You went out and bought yourself a $starWeaponDesc, even though you can't actually use it.<<if $starTrinketComment neq "" and $starTrinketComment neq "(none)">> You also wrote the following regarding star-spawn weapons:\n\n<div class="handbook">$starTrinketComment</div><</if>><<else>>You haven't found any souvenirs that helped you learn more about the star-spawn.<</if>>\n\n<<if $starHistory>>You visited a shrine dedicated to one of the star-spawn gods, and learned about the ancient myths of the Mist, the Darkness, and Nyarlathotep. <<if $starHistoryWriteup neq "" and $starHistoryWriteup neq "(none)">>Here's what you wrote about it:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$starHistoryWriteup</div><</if>><<else>>You don't know a thing about the history of the star-spawn.<</if>>\n\n<<if $starSights>>You were able to take some stunning photos of Czthnk, as well as the royal palace. <<if $starSightsComment neq "" and $starSightsComment neq "(none)">>Here's what you wrote:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$starSightsComment</div><</if>><<else>>You haven't taken any photos of Czthnk to share.<</if>>\n\n<b>New Life Resort, Aszfthu</b>\n<<if $zoogFood>>You ate a really sloppy Sloppy Joe at Sloppy Joe's, and gave it a rating of $zoogFoodRating stars. <<if $zoogFoodReview neq "" and $zoogFoodReview neq "(none)">>You also wrote this review:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$zoogFoodReview</div><</if>><<else>>You have not yet tasted any food cooked by a zoog.<</if>>\n\n<<if $light>>You got a handmade lantern that's lit by a magical flame from a shop selling lots of handmade magical trinkets. <<if $zoogTrinketComment neq "" and $zoogTrinketComment neq "(none)">>You also wrote this:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$zoogTrinketComment</div><</if>><<else>>You haven't found any souvenirs that helped you learn more about the zoogs.<</if>>\n\n<<if $zoogHistory>>You met an old zoog in the forest, and learned about how the zoogs once lived before they decided to create the New Life Resort. <<if $zoogHistoryComment neq "" and $zoogHistoryComment neq "(none)">>You had this to say on the matter:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$zoogHistoryComment</div><</if>><<else>>You don't know a thing about the history of the zoogs.<</if>>\n\n<<if $zoogSights>>You took some photos of the New Life Resort in all of its glory. <<if $zoogSightsComment neq "" and $zoogSightsComment neq "(none)">>You also wrote this:\n\n<div class="Handbook">$zoogSightsComment</div><</if>><<else>>You haven't taken any photos of the New Life Resort to share.<</if>>\n\n[[Okay, I'm done.|previous()]]

[img[Mi-go]]\n\nYou grab a utensil that looks to be a strange mix between a spoon and a fork (oh wait, that’s a spork, isn’t it?), and dig in. The “synthetic” noodles don’t taste that much different from any other noodles you’ve ever tried, which you can’t decide is a good or bad thing. The “to-fu” balls taste less like, well, tofu, and more like mushrooms. Once you’ve finished the noodles, you down the filtered spore wine, and then pull out your holo-top to write your review while you wait for the check. <<if !$migoFood>><<set $migoFood to true>><<set $experience += 1>><</if>>\n\nWrite a review (or don't)!\n<<textarea "$migoFoodReview" $migoFoodReview>>\n\nAnd give a rating!\n[[0*|N'amorha, Yuggoth][$migoFoodRating to 0]] [[1*|N'amorha, Yuggoth][$migoFoodRating to 1]] [[2*|N'amorha, Yuggoth][$migoFoodRating to 2]] [[3*|N'amorha, Yuggoth][$migoFoodRating to 3]] [[4*|N'amorha, Yuggoth][$migoFoodRating to 4]] [[5*|N'amorha, Yuggoth][$migoFoodRating to 5]]

[img[zoog]]\n\nYou consider taking home a crumpled soda can, but decide against it, because a crumpled soda can tells you almost nothing about the zoogs, except perhaps that they like to live in trash.\n\nYou wander amongst the trash piles, and find a small hut with a sign out front that reads "SOUVENIRS." Probably as good a place to look for souvenirs as any.\n\n[[Enter the Souvenirs Hut]]\n[[Pass on by|Reject Zoog Trinket]]

[img[Mi-go]]\n\nYou may be a scientist dedicated to braving the horrors of the universe in the pursuit of knowledge, but this is a little much for you. You tell the bartender that you’ve changed your mind, and take your leave while your rejected meal is served to someone else in the bar.\n\n[[Go back to the transit station|N'amorha, Yuggoth]]

\t"Fantastic!" Ath-naa buzzes happily. "Starting now, you-- wait, what?"\n\n\t"I said no thanks. I've decided that I don't want to work for you guys."\n\n\t"Oh." They slump on the floor, unsure what to make of your statement. "Well, that's... dissapointing. We thought for sure that you wanted to join our company." They slip back on their sunglasses. "But, if you are no longer willing to work with us, despite having gone through the trouble of completing our application progress, we will not stop you from leaving. Just know that, if you should change your mind, our door is always open for you."\n\n\tYou thank Ath-naa and the other judges, and then proceed to the N'amorha city Transit Station. As you do, you notice that you still have your transit pass. Looks like you still have a while before it expires. \n\n\t"What the hell," you figure. "Might as well use it."\n\n\tYou enter the transit station, and look up at the route map. Where you go from here is up to you. Home? Maybe a vacation on Xoth? The possibilities are endless!\n\n<b>THE END</b>\n<i>Thank you for playing!</i>\n~ <span style="color:#2cd629">Cratmang</span>

\t"Fantastic!" Ath-naa buzzes happily. "Starting now, you are officially a member of Deep Thought Publishing, working on the newest edition of the Hobo's Handbook to the Universe. We'll set up an office for you, and you'll be given Buisness-class pass for an unlimited stay at any of the hotels that we've partnered with. We'll also have a new transit pass set up for you that will last you a week. Any questions?"\n\n\t"None that I can think of," you reply, "but I'm sure if I do come up with any, I'll let you know."\n\n\tYou thank Ath-naa and the other judges, and Ath-naa personally escorts you to the exit. Before you leave, you shake their "hand," and they give you directions to the nearest hotel. You thank them again, and then almost immediately go the other way, to the N'amorha transit station.\n\n\tYou look up at the map of the universe, and pull out your copy of the Hobo's Handbook, flipping through it. You wonder, what part of the universe needs to be more thoroughly explored? Perhaps you could hitchike to some far-off-the-beaten-path galaxy... It's a big universe, and there's so much to learn!\n\n<b>THE END</b>\n<i>Thank you for playing!</i>\n~ <span style="color:#2cd629">Cratmang</span>

[img[zoog]]\n\nYou decide you want to get away from all the trash, so you go out into the nearby forest. It's a lovely forest filled with lush green trees, and there's not really much else to say about it. It's quite peaceful and relaxing, actually.\n\nAt some point, you stumble upon a large, old zoog in a clearing, wearing an oversized robe, and a skull on his head. He's cooking something in a little cauldron (though you think it may have once been a spittoon). \n\nHe suddenly turns toward you, causing you to flinch. "Ah, a visitor," he says. "Come, sit."\n\n[[Sit|Learn Zoog History]]\n[[Run like the wind]]

As you approach your destination, you are stopped by a sign in front of a wall of construction tape. You read the sign;\n\n"Thank you for playing. Unfortunately, I could not finish this next section of the game before the end of the Jam. Please help yourself to some complementory soda, and then turn and leave in the opposite direction.\n\n~ Cratmang"\n\nThere's a bin labled "Soda," but it's empty. Dissapointed, you turn and head back in the direction you came.\n\n[[Aww.|previous()]]

[img[star-spawn]]\n\n\tYou make your way to the nearest McDonalds, and then walk straight past it, entering the garden right next door, which is actually an outdoor restaurant named Xynsll's.\n\n\tA Star-spawn waitress wearing a golden silk dress welcomes you, and brings you to your table, right next to a little flowerbed with a stream running through it, overlooked by a clay statuette of a zoog wearing a pointed cap. You suppose these must be the star-spawn equivalent of garden gnomes.\n\n\tThe waitress hands you the menu. Wow, just look at all these wonderful dishes you could try! The waitress recommends the zowfish frybread rolls - pieces of zowfish raw served with various vegetables, all wrapped up in frybread, and then cut up like sushi rolls.\n\n\tYou ask her what a zowfish is. She pulls out her phone, and shows you a picture of what looks like a cross between a salmon and a squid.\n\n[["I'll take the zowfish rolls!"|Eat Starspawn food]]\n[["On second thought, I'm not hungry."|Reject Starspawn food]]

\tFor some reason, you were expecting Deep Thought Publications to be especially hard to find, requiring you to solve a complex chain of puzzles in order to make it. But when you consult your map, you discover that the head office is very clearly labeled on the map, and also just a short walk from the transit station.\n\n\tYou walk up to the door, and realize that there is no knob to open it. There is, however, a camera and a speaker set up right next to the door.\n\n\tA voice crackles on the speaker, “Identify yourself.”\n\n\t“$p_name.”\n\n\t“Please hold.” You wait for about a minute before the voice returns. “Welcome to Deep Thought Publishing, $p_gen $p_name. Are you here to submit your final article for your application?”\n\n\tYou pull up your notes on your holotop. <<if $experience == 0>>But then you realize that you have nothing in your notes, because you haven't done anything yet. You dingus.\n\n<<else>>Not accounting for personal comments and restaurant reviews, your article could probably take up about <<print ($experience / 2.0)>> pages.\n\n[["I'm ready to submit!"]]\n\n<</if>>[["Not yet, I'm just saying hi."|previous()]]

[img[zoog]]\n\n"It's good to have company once in a while," the old zoog rambles as he serves you a bowl of his brew (whether or not you choose to drink it, I'll leave up to you). "I don't even see much of my own kind out in these parts of the woods. Speaking of which, why are you here? The 'resort' is back the way you came."\n\n"Resort? That place is literally a dump. I don't understand how that place has a transit station."\n\nThe old zoog nods. "Indeed. The zoogs are only running a pale imitation of what they believe a resort is like. I applaud their willingness to branch out and connect to other species, but their focus isn't on peace and prosperity - it's on money and shiny things. They've put no heart or soul in their 'resort.'"\n\nThe old zoog then goes on to tell you about how the zoogs used to live in harmony with the forest, and how they had a deep connection with nature and magic. Since you're a good listener, he also shares with some ancient magical knowledge, and then tells you the story of how he lost his tail to a psedobear.\n\nAs thanks, you give him your copy of the Hobo's Handbook. You later head back to the transit station, which happens to have a stand selling copies of the Hobo's Handbook, and pick up a new one. You notice for the first time how the zoog running the stand is closely eyeing the money as you hand it to her.<<if !$zoogHistory>><<set $zoogHistory to true>><<set $experience += 1>><</if>>\n\nYou then sit back and ponder what to write.\n<<textarea "$zoogHistoryComment" $zoogHistoryComment>>\n\n[[What a nice guy.|New Life Resort, Aszfthu]]

[img[Mi-go]]\n\n\tAh, the Mi-go colony of Yuggoth, more commonly known as Pluto. You’re a bit worried about how cold it will be, considering the planet’s distance from the sun, but upon stepping off the shuttle, you’re relieved to find that the air temperature is actually quite nice, thanks to the planetary heating system working overtime.\n\n\tThe first thing you notice is how varied the style of the architecture is. If someone were to ask you what kind of style it resembled, you’d probably respond with, “all of them.” A fancy metal gothic fence stands between you and a view of the incredible cityscape, where you can see buildings of every single shape, size, material, and colour imaginable. To your left, you see countless large spires bending every which way, not just straight up. To your right, buildings merge into themselves, creating what looks like a massively complex mall. It’s truly breathtaking. You have heard once that the Mi-go are prone to experiment with everything, including art style, but this? This view? This proves just how much of what you heard is true, and the answer is all of it.\n\n\tThe second thing you notice is that the air is filled with large glowing spores, again of varying colours. These spores look like large, transparent balls, about the size of your fist, with a smaller ball of light contained inside them.\n\n<<linkappend "It comes to you as a good opportunity to pull out your copy of the Hobo's Handbook in order to learn a bit about the Mi-go.">> Let's see... Marilyn Monroe, Merfolk, Mhaiubs... ah, here we are:\n\n<div class = "Handbook">\tMi-go are a race of sentient fungi with the shape and appearance of an incredibly large insect. They have six legs - two small sets of front legs, and one large, long pair of incredibly sharp and pointy back legs. Their "hands" consist of a series of tendrils, protected by the shell of large, round, crab-like claws. They have large round "heads" that are capable of emitting a buzzing sound that is very similar to a swarm of angry bees. They have no facial features whatsoever, but they are able to perceive the world around them using the glowing spores growing off of their heads as a form of antenna. Mi-go also have wings that are in every way identical to the star-spawn, allowing for limited flight. They can grow to nearly twice the size of the average human.\n\n\tMi-go are arguably the most inventive and artistic race in the universe, thanks to no small part to their constant desire to experiment, try new things, and discover scientific breakthroughs. Calling this a "desire," may perhaps be an understatement, however. If a mi-go can't find any ways to keep its mind occupied, it may be driven insane, and go on a murderous rampage, killing anything in its path, possibly even itself. \n\n\tMi-go tests and experiments are incredibly vast and varied when it comes to nature and topic. Some experiments may be as simple as dropping a marble down a track, and watching what happens. Historically, more than a few mi-go experiments have tried to push ethical boundaries, if not outright ignore them. These experiments can have a number of horrible consequences, especially for those being experimented on. Subjects have been reported to have lost limbs, caught disease, been mutated, lost their ability to reason and think rationally, or, worst case, lost their lives.\n\n\tOne of the most infamous mi-go experiments involved tearing off of a star-spawn's wings, reattaching them to a mi-go, and then eventually encoding the wings into their DNA, so that all future mi-go would be born with them. Experiments like these have given other races a bad impression of the mi-go, and made attempts at peace incredibly difficult for them.\n\n\tSuffice to say, if a mi-go invites you to be a part of an experiment, for your own safety, make sure that you are going to be an experimenter, and not the experimentee.</div>\n\n\tYou consider the statement that mi-go "have no facial features whatsoever." That can't be right; you plainly recall having met a mi-go on the transport shuttle that had a face. Well, it had a pair of creepy glowing eyes, and a series of holes which you assume to be a mouth, but it was a face nonetheless. Perhaps information like this is why the Hobo's Handbook is in need of an update.<</linkappend>>\n\n\tYou recall having heard rumor that Deep Thought Publishing’s head office is located somewhere here in this city. Once you’ve finished your tour of the universe, you should probably find it so that you can hand in the articles you've written.\n\nWhat do you want to do?\n\n[[Get some food|Mi-go food]]\n[[Go Sightseeing|Mi-go Sights]]\n[[Grab a souvenir|Mi-go trinket]]\n[[Learn some History|Mi-go history]]\n\n[[Go to Deep Thought Publishing|Hand in Report]]\n\n[[Consult your notes|Notes]]\n[[Get back on the shuttle|Choose Destination]]

[img[Mi-goFaceless]]\n\n\tYou politely decline the shopkeeper's request, and walk out, averting your eyes from the other masks on display.\n\n[[Now what?|N'amorha, Yuggoth]]

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[img[star-spawn]]\n\nThe waitress takes your order, and then comes back a few minutes later with a plate full of zowfish frybread rolls. The bread oddly reminds you of corn, and the zowfish, perhaps not surprisingly, tastes like something in between salmon and squid. The waiter brings you a glass of milk (you don’t know animal it’s from, but you decide not to ask), and you give her a tip while you pull out your holotop and write your review.<<if !$starFood>><<set $starFood to true>><<set $experience += 1>><</if>>\n\nWrite a review (or don't)!\n<<textarea "$starFoodReview" $starFoodReview>>\n\nAnd give a rating!\n[[0*|Czthnk, Xoth][$starFoodRating to 0]] [[1*|Czthnk, Xoth][$starFoodRating to 1]] [[2*|Czthnk, Xoth][$migoFoodRating to 2]] [[3*|Czthnk, Xoth][$starFoodRating to 3]] [[4*|Czthnk, Xoth][$starFoodRating to 4]] [[5*|Czthnk, Xoth][$starFoodRating to 5]]\n

/* Your story will use the CSS in this passage to style the page.\nGive this passage more tags, and it will only affect passages with those tags.\nExample selectors: */\n\nbody {\n\t/* This affects the entire page */\n\t\n\t\n}\n.passage {\n\t/* This only affects passages */\n\t\n\t\n}\n.passage a {\n\t/* This affects passage links */\n\t\n\t\n}\n.passage a:hover {\n\t/* This affects links while the cursor is over them */\n\t\n}\n\n.Handbook {\n\tborder-width: 1px;\n\tborder-color: white;\n\tborder-style: solid;\n\tpadding: 3px;\n\tfont-family: "Courier New";\n}\n\n.warning {\n\tcolor: #aa0000;\n}

[img[zoog]]\n\nYou enter the hut and see a table with various handmade trinkets on it, including an old hourglass that shifts sand in the opposite direction of gravity, a broken pencil with glowing lead, a cracked pair of glasses give infrared vision, and plenty small charms made from bits of metal tied together with string. What draws your attention the most is a lantern with a brightly glowing flame inside. The flame seems to burn without any need for air or fuel. Curious.\n\nThe shopkeeper notices your interest in the lantern, and crawls over to you. You try to ask him how it works, but he misunderstands you, and sells it to you instead. He insists in broken english that you are not going to find a cheaper magic fire lamp anywhere else in the universe, and that you should buy it or you'll regret it for the rest of your life.\n\nAfter a heated argument, you decide that you don't want to risk losing your fingers to an angry shopkeeper, and buy the lantern.<<if !$light>><<set $light to true>><<set $experience += 1>><</if>>\n\nLater, you sit down and pull up your notes, considering what to write regarding this encounter. \n<<textarea "$zoogTrinketComment" $zoogTrinketComment>>\n\n[[I mean, lanterns are cool.|New Life Resort, Aszfthu]]

[img[star-spawn]]\n\n"A souvenir?" The shopkeeper ponders for a moment. "Well, I suppose it’s your money. What kind of 'souvenir' did you have in mind? What special enchantments would you like? Not that you can use them."\n\nYou take some time to think about what kind of weapon you’d like, before finally telling the shopkeeper that you’d like...\n<<textbox "$starWeaponDesc" "a sword that shoots laser beams">>\n\nThe shopkeeper brings you the weapon you described, and you pay him handsomely.\n\nI don’t suppose you want to write anything about star-spawn weaponry, do you? <<if !$starTrinket>><<set $starTrinket to true>><<set $experience += 1>><</if>>\n<<textarea "$starTrinketComment" $starTrinketComment>>\n\n[[Look ma, I got a magic weapon!|Czthnk, Xoth]]

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Your name is $p_name, and you are a scientist. Some time ago, you sent an application to the publishers behind the Hobo’s Handbook of the Universe.\n\nWhat? Do you not know about the Hobo’s Handbook to the Universe? It is only the number one best-selling guidebook in this universe, being incredibly affordable (what’s the point of calling it the “Hobo’s Handbook” if a hobo couldn't afford a copy?), and very highly respected by the scientific community. However, Deep Thought Publications, the publishers behind the Handbook are a very exclusive bunch, only accepting the best scientists among them.\n\nAnd that’s exactly what you are. You graduated from Generic University with straight As, Honours, hell, every academic achievement you can think of. The Dean even sent you a slice of cake and a congratulatory letter as part of your graduation. If that isn’t success, you don’t know what is.\n\nAnyways, now that we’ve established all that exposition, we can move on to you being you. And what better thing for you to do right now then to check the mail. Because it’s been an Earth-month now, and you haven’t heard a single response regarding that application.\n\nYou boot up your holo-screen laptop - it’s like a regular laptop, but can project 3D interactable holograms in physical space. They’re actually quite common in this day and age, and you being a top scientist means it would make less sense for you to not have one. A holographic mailbox appears in front of you. You reach out and open the mailbox, and a letter addressed to you comes out, marked with the word “URGENT”. There’s no return address. Curious.\n\n[[Open the holographic letter]]

[img[zoog]]\n\nYou’ve heard a lot of things about the New Life Resort, both good and bad. What’s most important to you right now though, is that the resort is mainly run and operated by zoogs, and that the zoogs on Aszfthu live in peace with other races. This makes it the perfect spot to study and learn about the zoogs, without having to worry about one of them biting your hand off.\n\nStepping out of the transit station, you quickly realize why you've been hearing bad things about the resort - it's a literal dump. All of the buildings are made out of scrap metal, crude wooden planks, and other various bits of trash. That said, the area is surprisingly clean. You see little furry zoogs wandering about with brooms, mops, and dishrags, sweeping trash to the side, wiping off the dirt off of it, and then using it as a makeshift brick for a makeshift wall somewhere.\n\n<<linkappend "You know, maybe you should consult your copy of the Hobo’s Handbook and see what it says about those furry little rodents.">> Let’s see, Zangoose, Zen Garden, Zoboomafoo... Ah ha! Zoogs!\n\n<div class="Handbook">Zoogs are small, furry rodents that can grow to about the size of a domestic cat. They're actually quite similar to cats, but they have a large rodent tail that's as long as the rest of their body, a distinct heart-shaped nose, and a beard of tentacles obscuring their sharp fangs. They have dark, wide, glassy eyes that, according to many descriptions, "you can see the stars in."\n\nZoogs originate from the Dreamlands, a mystical plane of reality outside of our universe, where anything is possible. They live in tribal societies, where they follow the lead of an appointed sage or wise one. They are often very curious, often exploring the outside boundaries of their territory, and toying with whatever odds and ends they find. They also tend to be quite hostile toward other races, especially those who wander into their territory uninvited.\n\nIf you should happen to encounter a zoog in the wild, your best chance for survival is to turn tail, run like the wind, and hope that you are not followed. However, if you happen to be fluent in whatever language the zoog speaks, it is advised that you try communicating with it. While it won't guarantee that you'll be spared, the zoog may regard you as another of their kind, rather than simply prey.</div>\n\nEep. Good thing the zoogs running New Life Resort seem to be more tolerant of your presence than the Hobo's Handbook makes them out to be.<</linkappend>>\n\nSo, what are you gonna do now?\n\n[[Go find something to eat|Zoog Food]]\n[[Take some photos|Zoog Sights]]\n[[Grab a souvenir|Zoog trinket]]\n[[Take a hike in the woods|Zoog history]]\n\n[[Consult your notes|Notes]]\n[[Get back on the shuttle|Choose Destination]]

[img[star-spawn]]\n\nPink cherry blossoms drift through the air, carried by a gentle breeze. You take a deep breath, and taste the sweet air. A thin veil of mist covers the area, yet the sun shines clear and bright. All around, you can see round, spherical buildings, along with lots of curving walls and decorations. Rubber-skinned star-spawn walk and fly past you, going about their business, carrying books, tomes, trinkets, bags, wands, staves, swords, guns, and an occasional briefcase. There's no doubt about it. This is definitely the beautiful star-spawn capital of Czthnk.\n\n<<linkappend "You suddenly remember that you have your copy of the Hobo's Guide to the Universe on you, and now would be the perfect opportunity to see what it can tell you about the star-spawn.">> Let's see Sentience, Stag, \n\n<div class = "Handbook">Star-spawn are largely humanoid in shape and structure, albeit a tad shorter. Their head is reminiscent of an octopus, with a beard of tentacles concealing their mouth, and another set of tentacles growing out of the back of their head, in a fashion similar to hair. Their hands possess four sharp claws, two of which being an opposable thumb on either side of their hand. In layman's terms, they have a total of 8 fingers, 4 of which are thumbs. They also possess large, claw-like feet that are very similar to those of a bird. Their rubbery skin comes in a large variety of colours, to the point where it's difficult to categorize them within just two or three ethnic groups. According to a survey, however, green is the most common colour (6.64%), followed closely by pure white (6.23%). Among their most notable features is the pair of large, bat-like wings sprouting from their back. These wings grant the star-spawn a limited flight ability, able to glide 15 meters in about 2 seconds, or further with the use of magic. Some star-spawn, however, are born without their wings, and never gain them. The exact scientific cause for this is unknown.\n\nThe star-spawn are an ancient race that have existed for billions of years, practically untouched by evolution. They are the oldest known race in the universe, with some even claiming that they've existed ever since the "Big Bang," as it is commonly known. The evidence for this statement, however, is difficult to prove.\n\nThe star-spawn are well versed in matters of both magic and technology, having crafted impressive ships and weapons with their own hands, and enchanted them through the use of runes and inscriptions. Few can truly argue the quality of their work.</div>\n\nHuh. Kind of reminds you of the dwarves you read about in that one fantasy novel. Only more alien.<</linkappend>>\n\nWhat do you want to do?\n\n[[Get some food|Starspawn food]]\n[[Go Sightseeing|Starspawn Sights]]\n[[Grab a souvenir|Starspawn trinket]]\n[[Learn some History|Starspawn history]]\n\n[[Consult your notes|Notes]]\n[[Get back on the shuttle|Choose Destination]]

Connor <span style="color:#2cd629">"Cratmang"</span> Gilhuly