Sleepy Hollow

Browser lacks capabilities required to play.

Upgrade or switch to another browser.

Loading…

<<audio "mamahum" play loop>>//It was your seventh birthday party, the day you got your little pony. You remembered it vividly. Your mama had decorated the living room just how you wanted it, even better than you could have imagined. Your friends had all been invited, even a few kids your mother had thought were "lonely". You didn't think anyone could be lonely, not in your class. Your dad was outside on the grill, party hat askew on his hair. A few other dads crowded around him, keeping clear of the <<cycle "$cfcolour" autoselect>> <<option "purple">> <<option "blue">> <<option "red">> <<option "yellow">> <<option "pink">> <<option "orange">> <<option "green">><</cycle>> balloons and streamers and the mismatched pile of gifts. It was mostly mothers here, matching in frocks and purses and tinkling little laughs and gushing words. Kids in their play clothes, giggling and running around, with a huge crowd by the fence, where the paddock for the horses was. Beauty, Dazzle and Buttercup liked the attention the most, poking their noses over and waiting for pets and stolen sugarcubes from the tea table. You had been excited from the moment you woke up. Mama was the one to wake you, humming Happy Birthday under her breath, before it splintered off into her usual lullaby, walking her fingers on your belly in a little circle. She was always just as excited for your birthday as you were. Your dad loved to complain that it wasn't fair, his birthday didn't get all this attention, but he usually ducked down to kiss your forehead and scoop you up with a laugh. A breakfast treat of your choosing, family presents first, from mama and dad, then from far off relatives, grandma who lived down the street, uncle, who was a whole state over with your cousins. You didn't mind, the last time he was here, you did nothing but talk about fishing, tried to get your dad to go with him fishing, ask you if you liked fish, and around that time you started to ignore him till he left. He definitely left because of you ignoring him when he asked if you prefered pike or trout. Scalded him to the bone, it did. And today? Grandma was helping your Mama get your cake ready, even when they pretended that they were "making more lemonade" and were worried about lemon juice getting in your eyes. It's an excuse they gave every birthday, every special occassion that required having your eyes elsewhere. Even mama's horrible, old cat that hated everyone else but her was out there, sitting on the counter, hissing whenever grandma's hand strayed to close to him. He once tried to scratch your eye for sitting too close to him while Mama was giving his fur a comb. Never did that again. In fact, you made sure to not to go anywhere near him as a rule. But today, you spotted him chowing down noisily from a plate, a mixture of treats and tuna, just so he could also celebrate. When you were six, around lunchtime the excitement for your birthday fizzled out. Presents unwrapped, party for your friends at the park later, mama up in her room getting changed out of her pj's, your dad hushed and on the phone in his office. You had sat there, and for the first time, you had thought "is that it?" Was that what you were too excited to sleep for the night before? That you had crept into your parents' bedroom and snooped around for, looking under the bed and in the wardrobe. It was... Not sad. Disappointing? Something like that. Something was supposed to happen on a birthday. Something magical. But this birthday? No, this birthday you couldn't squash down the excitement. Because you knew. You knew what was waiting for you. After an out of tune round of Happy Birthday, about ten minutes of unwrapping toys, books, gift cards, and a sweet slice of cake, it was here. She was here. Your father leading out a pretty pony, with soft black eyes, a white snout that crept into a soft cream coat. Your Mama took the reins from him so that he could help you up onto her. You could smell her perfume, your pony's soft off-white hair tickling your face, the sounds of the party, the clamours of the children wanting to also have a go. "Do you love her, honey?" She whispered, her lips against your temple. And after so long of wanting, of watching your mama train her horses just behind the house, in the paddock, just by the stables. Of your dad, laughing softly, saying not this year, again and again. You did. You really, really did. [[Your alarm clock went off.|0.01]]

<<nobr>>AUDIO! <<cacheaudio "mamahum" "https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/scl/fi/gxx8y2c9j35gwtvoa21i4/mama-hum.mp3?rlkey=1c9gw01k8bh2hcay5vnngbgq9&st=zomynspz&dl=0">> <<cacheaudio "radio" "https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/scl/fi/scl/fi/h8ae9uya8p63xklcv0tmv/old-radio-240950.mp3?rlkey=o101zy4ak6pwjihzfbqa0lvfn&st=4l9a9d96&dl=0">> <<cacheaudio "static" "https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/scl/fi/0zr1lqwmymqb4gafwu9v9/radio-static-323621.mp3?rlkey=561j0fga4lq8y9129jg2gzyhr&st=0ozc67es&dl=0">> <<cacheaudio "door" "https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/scl/fi/bfqpruy4iyrzlafj0o8d1/apartment-door.mp3?rlkey=zz6d53ghpb6w9z64uc1xzig0q&st=85qvm7ry&dl=0">> <<cacheaudio "wind" "https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/scl/fi/1dyq2683tvb7hy350eo8h/autumn-wind.mp3?rlkey=rjxllhtw1hqqfimf7t14vq40o&st=fj4vm001&dl=0">> <<cacheaudio "shopbell" "https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/scl/fi/yi6v6yii504p9jnvw7nwo/door-open-close-with-bell-96884.mp3?rlkey=oqt0t7spf9iu5jjd85ev0l8iv&st=mqfrx5j1&dl=0">> <<cacheaudio "windoutside" "https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/scl/fi/acpm3t07zbsr3ku8kjsmq/wind-outside-sound-ambient-141989.mp3?rlkey=67msktu8aj2r8zp2ghmpjcj3u&st=p9bhgay8&dl=0">> <<cacheaudio "scrib" "https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/scl/fi/en0jw1bdp2zwtgbo1oosn/notebook.mp3?rlkey=lz2a2ilcpu8mwh2j9570t03uw&st=f0e3k055&dl=0">> <<cacheaudio "heartbeat" "https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/scl/fi/gnqvfia4sjkh1wqkssu62/heart-beat-137135.mp3?rlkey=cqxfdwlildkpk1ufshiqowqw0&st=r3fpvy4c&dl=0">> <</nobr>>

<<audio "static" play>><<timed 2s>><<audio "radio" volume 0.10 fadeoverto 30 0.50>><</timed>><<audio "mamahum" stop>>You woke up slowly. Then all at once. Like you were slowly coming up for air from under the water. The faint sound of a radio switching on in another room. Your blankets tangled around your legs. A warm, purring warmth on your collarbones, whisker tickling your nose. Breaching. One, deep breath. Up. Awake. Eyes flickering open to watery sunlight filtering in through the threadbare curtains. A face full of black and white fur, hiding the grey hairs quite well. Cat snored gently, sounding like he had a bit of a blocked nose. Maybe it was time for the vet. You gently rose your fingers and stroked along the bridge of his nose, his ears flickering at the touch before relaxing again. As per usual, you shifted him gently, his long whiskers twitching as you did. He replaced your space on the pillow, sinking gently into the dent, tail curling around his round body. After a few moments, the snores returned once more. Cat didn't mind your thin pillow. Or the lumpy mattress. Hell, he even seemed to enjoy the strange stains in the carpet. Been there ever since you and Ian moved in, and some nights you were woken up by Cat's loud licking. It reminded you of that one children's movie, where they were all licking the colourful wallpaper and gasping at the delicious taste. You always made sure to nudge him away though. All these years on, and you still had no idea what those were, or how to get them out. Pulling your clothes on, you kept an ear for any movement from the other room. The usual sounds. Ian's bed creaking. A wardrobe opening. A door closing. The coffeemaker being switched on. By the time you had shrugged on your hoodie, there was nothing. Just a soft whimpering. Ah. Bad day. You left your room, nearly tripping over one of the packing boxes as per the routine. Your room didn't have space for it and Ian kept saying he was going to go to the storage place to put it away, but... Well. You flipped on the coffee maker and <<cycle "$hdrink" autoselect>> <<option "went to dig around in the cabinet for a sachet of powdered hot chocolate." "hot chocolate">> <<option "retrieved your own coffee mug from the drying rack. Ian could have the other half later." "coffee">> <<option "flipped on the kettle and shook out a remaining tea bag from the box." "tea">> <<option "pried open a plastic container of chai, leaving some powdery residue on the counter" "chai">> <<option "rooted around in the fruit bowl, finding a lemon to cut up and put in some hot water" <<"lemon water">> <<option "rooted around in the fridge for a carton of milk, ready to put some in the microwave." "milk">> <</cycle>> You needed something to warm up, especially this time of year. The heating took too long to get going in the mornings. It usually meant you showered the night before and got dressed first thing to avoid getting too cold. Your eyes snagged on the calender hanging over the two seater table by the wall. Friday. You only had classes in the afternoon, and it would be after your usual appointment. Poking around the kitchen, you tried to find something to eat. Ian's cereal, nearly empty. A few suspiciously wrinkly and sad looking pieces of fruit. The fridge in general smelt suspicious. Your stomach clenched unpleasantly and you stuck to taking slow, measured sips of your drink. Maybe get something before your appointment. You rooted around in the drawer next to the fridge, fishing out the notepad, a pencil and a few crumpled bucks. Scribbling down a reminder for Ian to get groceries, you stuck it to the fridge with one of the old magnets, a scuffed picture of a family vacation. You, Ian and Mama. You couldn't really make out her face anymore. You gently traced her hair with the nail of your thumb before stepping away. Tucking the bills in your pocket, you picked up your house keys from the second hook. The door loomed. Dark. Stained at the bottom. Your throat felt tight. You <<cycle "$habit" autoselect>> <<option "slipped your fingers into your pocket to thumb at the battered pack of cigarettes." "Smoking">> <<option "roughly rubbed at your trouser leg, just above where the cuts along your thighs were." "Cutting">> <<option "thought longingly to the three quarter finished vodka in your drawer." "Drinking">> <<option "began to roughly chew at your thumb, teeth scraping the nail and ripping at the barely healed skin." "Nail">> <<option "jiggled the medicine bottle in your pocket. Pills gently click clacked against each other. Not a lot left." "Drugs">> <<option "clenched your fists and breathed heavily. You could feel the scabs on your knuckles tighten, beginning to split before you relaxed again. The walls were paper thin and you'd definitely break something if you hit anything else. You'd find something outside." "Hitting">><</cycle>> Your nerves gently settled, from a plug shooting off sparks, until a blackened socket, safe, but damaged. Outside... You took a deep breath. Pausing in front of the front door, you listened out for anything. Nothing. <ul> <li>[["... I'm heading out Ian! See you later!" You called out, before stepping outside.|0.02][$IanRep += 5]]</li> <li>[[You didn't say anything, just slipped out the front door and shut it behind yourself.|0.02]]</li> </ul>

<<audio "door" play>><<timed 4s>><<audio "wind" volume 0.01 fadeoverto 30 1 loop>><</timed>>The apartment you and your stepfather shared was on the sixth floor of the Birchwood Residences. Named for the stretch of forest that used to be the nicer of two parks that the town had. All ripped up and carted off and two ugly tombstone shaped buildings erected instead. Of course, to the horror of many old ladies, moms, people who fed birds, kids and most people who liked a nice view. It was supposed to help house people coming to Sleepy Hollow. To your knowledge only five flats were occupied. The rest were empty. Just a bunch of tree killers dancing on their grave. The lift had never worked so round and round you went down the staircase, down to the front. Your hometown seemed to persist in eternal autumn, except for the week where it was summer and the two months when it was winter. Spring was snuffed out like an overeager rat caught in a trap with its nose stuck in some cheddar. The wind tugged at your hoodie as you walked. Past the closed down shops. It was like a graveyard. You remembered being a kid, and most of this path being walking trails, going in and out the park, along the river. All torn down to make new things. A playground that you saw a dog using the other day, new shops that either fizzled out or never had a home to begin with. It was the Hollow's version of exile really; naughty people with dead relatives and bad credit got sent to the tree graveyard. You once remembered reading about how the lungs worked. Through the right side of the heart, down into the arteries. Reoxygenated, fresh blood. Brought out through the left side to run through the rest of the body. It's somewhat how living here worked. You traversed along a Vein, grey and new and lifeless. Only a few others lived here, and all tread the same path. Into the lung. Grey turned to red. Squares turned oval, the wind blew gently. Shops were fuller, people walked along. There was a hum of activity that was lost everywhere else other than the town center. A hub of people, the chatter of life, And they were all faceless. Your father's old hoodie was big, long and it was safe. You didn't look at anyone, and they didn't look at you. If they did, you wouldn't know. Which was good. Safe. You could make out pieces of clothing, snippets of conversation. Everything else was blurred. Even that was starting to feel a bit too much. You sped up, Past your old school. Up the hill, the cold air dragging against your lungs. Up and up. You didn't stop at the crest. Didn't look down to where the house still stood. Just kept moving. From the grassy hill back onto the road. Crossing. Past the corner shop. Oh. Food. [[You used your shoulder to open the door, bell tingling.|0.003]]

<<set $IanRep to 0>> <<set $IkeRep to 0>> <<set $dadrep to 0>> <<set $therapyinteract to 0>> <<set $truthful to 0>> <<set $exhaustion to 0>> <<goto "Start">>

<<audio "shopbell" play>><<timed 1s>><<audio "windoutside" volume 0.01 fadeoverto 15 1 loop>><</timed>><<audio "wind" stop>>A blast of warm air greeted you, along with the scent of hot dogs, pretzels, and something overly sweet. The whirring of the slushie machine, the disinterested chatter from the front, and the distant sounds of a radio soothed you. What didn't, was the giggling from behind one of the shelves. Kids probably. Not aimed at you? Definitely. But still, your palms began to sweat. Tongue dry. Throat dry. Something wet against your temples. In and out. In. And. Out. Your plan. Something to eat. Or at least have in your hands as you sat through the hour. Your eyes started to browse, but your feet betrayed you, instinctually pulling you to the aisle you wanted. Of course. As per usual you <<cycle "$snack" autoselect>> <<option "made your way to the slushie machine, tongue watering at the approaching brain freeze hit." "Slushie">> <<option "went for the pretzels, immediately grabbing a flimsy paper bag and quickly scooping one in. " "Pretzel">> <<option "scooted along to the candy aisle. Easy. Some chocolate that might melt if too long in your pocket." "Chocolate">> <<option "found your way to the candy asile. A bag of something sweet and bad for your teeth would hit just right." "Sweets">> <<option "went onwards to the savoury aisle. Chips would fix you. Time to crunch your way to feeling better." "Chips">> <<option "skimming the freshly baked cases. Questionable, maybe, But nothing couldn't be fixed by a pastry." "Pastry">> <<option "wandered over to the slightly run down, suspiciously smelling part. Yep. Hot dog time. With your choice of very questionable toppings." "Hot Dog">><</cycle>> Fuel in hand, you headed straight to the counter, hearing the affirming grunt from the cashier. "Same as usual?" Of course, he never expected an answer. You dropped the crumpled bills on the counter and listened for the affirmative ding. That and the sigh. "C'mon. These always look like stripper's bills. I ain't gotta worry about nuthin' nasty stickin' em together, do I?" You snatched up the receipt he slid over and took your snack in hand, already turning as he uncrumpled the notes. "Is that?" "I think it is." A giggle from behind you. Your stomach lurched. Your palms sweated. You used your shoulder to shove open the door again before you could hear another word. Into the fresh air. [[No more delays. Therapy.|0.004]]

<<audio "windoutside" stop>><<timed 2s>><<audio "wind" volume 0.01 fadeoverto 30 1 loop>><</timed>>Walking. <<if $snack is "Slushie">>Sipping as you went, painting your tongue a weird colour most probably.<<else>> Taking slow but measured bites. Gathering a bit more energy than you started with at least.<</if>> Crossing just before the roundabout. You slowly joined a throng of students, heading towards the university grounds, chatting loudly, laughing, desperately drinking down some coffee as they went. For a moment, you were one of them. You didn't stand out, with your oversized hoodie, your snack in hand, head down. You probably looked like just another student, strung out, didn't sleep well, only bringing a pencil to class, nothing but your will to lead you forward. But then you broke off from the school. Swam upstream. Followed them into the university grounds, just to take a sharp right, off the granite, onto a gravel one. You overheard that it was called the rat cage, all the way back when you first started coming. You did feel like a rodent from time to time. Just from the way people looked at you as you waited to be called in. Dr Crane never made you feel like that though. It often just felt like you were talking out loud and you'd forget he was paid to do this, if not for the small notes he took. You nudged the door open. You passed two professional looking women, holding big mugs of something steaming. You think they gave you a noticable berth. Up the stairs. Academic buildings all had a certain smell, didn't they? Books, coffee. Something else. And desperation. Through another set of double doors. Your stomach twisted gently. Maybe you should have had a proper breakfast. Finally. The waiting room. You wandered over to the front desk. There was someone new there today. Pretty. You think. She smelt nice. Like pretty girls do. They always knew the correct perfume to wear to smell good. "Hiya, darlin'." She hummed. "Name?" Oh. She was new new. The old secretary just waved at you and went back to her crossword, thin lips pursed and bifocals low on her nose. She'd suck her teeth whenever stuck. The front desk usually sounded like it was run by mice anyway. You slowly exhaled, the grip on your snack tightening just a bit. Three... Two... One... <ul class="a"> Suggestions for feminine names <li>[[Madeline|0.005][$name to "Madeline"]]</li> <li>[[Ligeia|0.005][$name to "Ligeia"]]</li> <li>[[Annabel|0.005][$name to "Annabel"]]</li> <li>[[Lenore|0.005][$name to "Lenore"]]</li> <li>[[Camille|0.005][$name to "Camille"]]</li> <li>[[Morella|0.005][$name to "Morella"]]</li> <li>[[Ada|0.005][$name to "Ada"]]</li> Suggestions for masculine names <li>[[Arthur|0.005][$name to "Arthur"]]</li> <li>[[Julius|0.005][$name to "Julius"]] </li> <li>[[Eiros|0.005][$name to "Eiros"]] </li> <li>[[Cornelius|0.005][$name to "Cornelius"]] </li> <li>[[Israfel|0.005][$name to "Israfel"]]</li> <li>[[Auguste|0.005][$name to "Auguste"]] </li> <li>[[Roderick|0.005][$name to "Roderick"]]</li> Suggestions for gender-neutral names <li>[[Red|0.005][$name to "Red"]]</li> <li>[[Raven|0.005][$name to "Raven"]]</li> <li>[[Corinnos|0.005][$name to "Corinnos"]]</li> <li>[[Angel|0.005][$name to "Angel"]]</li> <li>[[Nesace|0.005][$name to "Nesace"]]</li> <li>[[Tamerlane|0.005][$name to "Tamerlane"]]</li> <li>[[Lasalle|0.005][$name to "Lasalle"]]</li></ul> Insert a custom name *<<textbox '$name' ''>> <<button "Confirm">> <<goto "0.005">> <</button>>

<<audio "wind" stop>><<if $name is " " or $name is "undefined">>Please pick a name. [[Go back|0.004]]<</if>><<if $name is "Kat" or $name is "Katrina" or $name is "Brom" or $name is "Abraham" or $name is "Ike" or $name is "Ichabod" or $name is "Ian" or $name is "Tilly">>This name is already in use during the story. [[Go back|0.004]]<<else>> <<goto 0.006>><</if>>

<<timed 1s>><<audio "windoutside" volume 0.01 fadeoverto 15 1 loop>><</timed>>"$name? Alrighty." She moved around on her chair a bit. "Do ya have an appointment?" Your stomach tightened. Where was Mouse Teeth? And why wasn't she here to make fun of this new person for not knowing anything? "S..." You took a deep breath. "Standing appointment. Two times a week." "Wowza. Lots going on up there, huh, hun?" Clicking. Either nails or the keyboard. Sweat. Sweaty. You could feel it rolling down your back like termites scuttling once a log has been lifted from soggy soil. Your fingers felt numb. Everything was... Shifting. Vertigo. The room slowly began to spin. "Hmmm. Sorry, not finding ya. Mind if you fill out some info for me?" Slap. Clipboard with pencil appeared before you. With an information sheet smiling right at you. "Should be able to find ya then." You gripped your snack tightly. Hand shaking. You wiped your other hand against your hoodie and tugged the clipboard towards yourself. Chair. Sitting. Knees clenched. Slowly putting down the snack on the little table next to you. Green walls. Grey floors. Dark furniture. Two windows. Heavy curtains. Secretary's desk. Two other people waiting. Breathing in. Breathing out. Clock says 8:55. Nothing wrong. Just need to... You took up the pen, feeling coming back into your fingers. Okay. Slowly, you penned your first name. <span class="drunk">$name...</span> You blinked a few times. That looked right. You took another deep breath. Next part. Surname. You rolled the pen between your fingers a bit, feeling the scratch of the plastic against the pad of your thumb. Okay. [[Montresor.|0.007][$surname = "Montresor"]] [[Valdemar.|0.007][$surname = "Valdemar"]] [[Trevanion.|0.007][$surname = "Trevanion"]] [[L'Espanaye.|0.007][$surname = "L'Espanaye"]] [[Dupin.|0.007][$surname = "Dupin"]] [[Lee.|0.007][$surname = "Lee"]] [[Maillard.|0.007][$surname = "Maillard"]] Insert a custom surname *<<textbox '$surname' ''>> <<button "Confirm">> <<goto "0.007">> <</button>>

<<if $surname is " " or $surname is "undefined">>Please pick a surname. [[Go back|0.006]]<</if>><<if $surname is "Van Tassel" or $name is "Crane" or $name is "Van Brunt">>This name is already in use during the story. [[Go back|0.006]]<<else>> <<goto 0.008>><</if>>

<span class="drunk">$name $surname,</span> Right. Okay. Right. You rolled the pen a bit, letting the uneven plastic ridges dig into your skin. One down. You filled in your address. Gender: <<cycle "$gender" autoselect>> <<option "Female" "female">> <<option "Male" "male">> <<option "Other" "nonbinary">><</cycle>> You slowly dragged your pen, circling it. Right. Next ones. Emergency contact. Ian's number. Family history or mental illnesses. Ian was the one to fill this out, his lips in a frown and his phone //pressed to his ear. "-no, I'm not putting anyone else on the phone. I only know stuff on her side, I just... No. The fuck do you mean invasion of privacy? Again, no. I'm not putting the kid on the phone. Why? Because I swear to fucking god, I'm not going to watch as they struggle to write out "Dad's an asshole", that's the problem with you- No, tell you what, let's hope none of your stupid shit ends up affecting- Hello? Fuckin'.... Cuck." Ian angrily hanging up and rubbing his hand over his face, before finally noticing you looking at him. "... Yeah, uh... L-Leave that one blank, would you?"// You gave a ragged inhale. Right. Your fingers shook. Slowly. //Borderline... Personality... Disorder...// You thought about adding in "Asshole". Alright. The rest of it. <<if $habit is "Smoking">>//Do you smoke regularly?// Your battered carton felt like it was burning against your leg. Circled the No option.<<elseif $habit is "Drinking">>//Do you drink regularly?// Your throat burned slightly. Should have brought with your ID so you could buy something after this. You circled the No option.<<elseif $habit is "Drugs">>//Do you take medication regularly?// Hm. You jiggled your knee and the pills answered, hitting the hard plastic bottle in an almost melodic way. Hm. You circled the No option.<<else>>You were circling the no options with haste, quietly thankful that the questions didn't get too invasive.<</if>> The sheet was finally done with. Your handwriting had gotten worse. Standing up, you shuffle over to the front desk. She took the board from you and scanned it, her pink nails tapping the back of it. "Hm... I'll have a look, but I dunno, doll-" "$name!" Oh Thank God. The usual woman, clad in her tweed and crossword clutched in hand scooted into sight. You tugged your hood a bit lower. People really did look less scary without their... Yes. Something sour crawled along your tongue. "Just take a seat, dear! Dr Crane will call you in soon!" She ushered the new one away and took her seat. "Really, Beattie-" "It's Barb-" "Making the poor thing jump through hoops." A mouse squeak. Not aimed at the cross word. That's new. You retook your seat and slowly exhaled. Your armor- Your dad's hoodie, an old pair of baggy trousers, thick boots- against the world wasn't working. Not today. You could wear whatever you want in the flat, but outside was hard. Mean. Windy. Useless. Because someone didn't know who you are. Which is something you usually would have liked. [[You slowly exhaled out your nose and reached for your snack.|0.009]]

<<nobr>><<if $gender is "female">> <<set $pronouns to "sheher">> <<set $they to "she">> <<set $cthey to "She">> <<set $their to "her">> <<set $ctheir to "Her">> <<set $theirs to "hers">> <<set $ctheirs to "Hers">> <<set $them to "her">> <<set $cthem to "Her">> <<set $themselves to "herself">> <<set $cthemselves to "Herself">> <<set $sibling to "sister">> <<set $csibling to "Sister">> <<set $child to "daughter">> <<set $cchild to "Daughter">> <<set $title to "Miss">> <</if>> <<if $gender is "male">> <<set $pronouns to "hehim">> <<set $they to "he">> <<set $cthey to "He">> <<set $their to "his">> <<set $ctheir to "His">> <<set $theirs to "his">> <<set $ctheirs to "His">> <<set $them to "him">> <<set $cthem to "Him">> <<set $themselves to "himself">> <<set $cthemselves to "Himself">> <<set $sibling to "brother">> <<set $csibling to "Brother">> <<set $child to "son">> <<set $cchild to "Son">> <<set $title to "Mister">> <</if>> <<if $gender is "nonbinary">> <<set $pronouns to "theythem">> <<set $they to "they">> <<set $cthey to "They">> <<set $their to "their">> <<set $ctheir to "Their">> <<set $theirs to "theirs">> <<set $ctheirs to "Theirs">> <<set $them to "them">> <<set $cthem to "Them">> <<set $themselves to "themselves">> <<set $cthemselves to "Themselves">> <<set $sibling to "sibling">> <<set $csibling to "Sibling">> <<set $child to "child">> <<set $cchild to "Child">> <<set $title to "Mx">> <</if>><</nobr>><<if $snack is "Slushie">>You took ahold of the plastic cup, sweating in the warm room and took a long sip. It melted a bit but still had that good cold hit. <<elseif $snack is "Pretzel">>Grabbing ahold of the paper bag, you brought the pretzel up to your mouth to take a bite. Chewy. Salty. Your stomach celebrated it. So did your nervous system really.<<elseif $snack is "Chocolate">>You peeled back the wrapper to the chocolate and snapped off another piece. You let it melt on your tongue for a moment before beginning to chew. Thank god for whatever mad man decided to start putting sugar in cocoa beans.<<elseif $snack is "Sweets">>You snatched up the plastic bag, letting it sing its crinkled song before digging around in it. Emerging with three of the sweets, you quickly popped them in your mouth and began to chew. God. Nothing like a sugar hit. You felt like one of those people you saw in a documentary about alcoholics. The sugar they craved.<<elseif $snack is "Chips">>You tugged the crinkled bag into your lap and greedily dove your hand in, snatching up a few of the chips before tucking them into your mouth. Only then biting down eagerly. Less noise. Didn't want Mouse or Nails to look over.<<elseif $snack is "Pastry">>Greedily dishing the pastry out from the bag, you bite down into it. A flakes came loose and you brushed them away lazily, chewing all the while. It was always amazing that in every culture, in every century, had some version of bread. Which led to some version of a pastry. You took another bite.<<else>>You picked up the cooling hot dog and managed another bite. This wasn't at all what your stomach wanted for breakfast, but it was warm and filling and gun to your head you would never pick anything else from that store... You should look up why it was called a //dog//.<</if>> "$title $surname." A cool voice broke through your thoughts. Oh. You looked up. First thing you noticed was his hands. Thin. Spindly. Almost like spider's legs. Steady. One resting on the door to the office, the other resting against his hip, ink stain on his knuckle. You slowly raised your head. Waistcoat, black. Shirt, white. Tie, red. Graceful throat, swan-like and pale. Lips, downturned, thin. Neat, combed black hair. Grey tinging his temples. Black eyes with hooded lids, crows feet lining the corners. His lips twitched. "Come along, $name. On time, as per usual." [[Inside...|0.010]]

<<set $therapyian to false>><<set $therapydad to false>><<set $therapyhabits to false>><h1>Chapter 1: Talking</h1> You liked Dr. Crane's office. Dark but not opressive. It felt like a safe hole to crawl into. You had your pick of sofa, chair or pacing, Crane didn't mind. Chair today. You put down your snack and his black eyes followed the movement. You waited for it. Nothing. Just pointedly took a sip of his water. "There's a new girl at the desk. She's been unable to figure out how any of it works. She can, however, make a passable coffee." Dr. Crane shifted in his chair, rolling his neck slightly, as if to get comfortable. Then his routine. Slipping his glasses case out of his pocket. Snapping it open to bring out a pair of glasses, rectangular. Slipping them on and picking up his leather notebook and flipping it open to a new page. Dragging his spider legs over the fresh page before slipping his pen free from his front pocket and clicking the top of the pen off. Fountainpen. Drawing a little spiral in the corner of the page, just to let the ink slip through. Then the date. "Not long till Halloween." He said, dragging his pen tip to make a slash. "Anything new planned? Or the usual?" "Usual." "Routine is good." He nodded, mostly to himself. Then your name. Your name looked nice in cursive. You never learned how to do that. "So, $name." He rested his elbow on the armrest, crossed his ankle over his knee. "What would you like to talk about today?" There were a few things.. You //could// talk about. Where would you even start? You could talk about [[Ian|0.020]]. The fact that some days he would rather lie in bed and cry than face the world. Or maybe your real [[dad|0.030]], and the unopened letters by the door. The fact that you don't have your home anymore because of him. Maybe your [[bad habits|0.040]] and the fact you couldn't get through the damn day without them anymore. Maybe... <span class="drunk">Mama.</span> No. Not today. The girls in the shop, the receptionist. Too many bumps. Has to be a smoother day to do it. In fact... Maybe it would be... Okay. Just to ramble. About [[nothing important.|0.050]]

<b>Thank you so much for playing!</b> I cannot say enough how happy I am you took the time to play this game, no matter what stage it's in. If you want Behind the Scenes and NSFW snippets, you can check <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Rotting_Ink">my Patreon</a>! I also publish mini nsfw games with the RO's and maybe some of the NPCs in the future. Want frequent updates and the ability to shoot me any questions at anytime? Then check out and follow me on <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rotting-ink">my Tumblr</a>! All music and sound effects came from Pixabay. The art is by the effortlessly wonderful and deeply talented <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/guuuurei">Grey</a>! <<nobr>><div style="text-align: center;"><h1>SPECIAL THANKS TO:</h1> </div> <ul><div style="text-align: center;"><h1>''Contributors''</h1></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://poisonouslili.tumblr.com/">Lili</a> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.tumblr.com/guuuurei">Grey</a></div></div> </ul> <ul><div style="text-align: center;"><h1>''Duckies''</h1></div> <div style="text-align: center;">Dandelion</div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://poisonouslili.tumblr.com/">Lili</a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href=" https://angrelysimpping.tumblr.com/?source=share">Quiet</a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href=" https://www.tumblr.com/quoththe-ravenn">Raven</a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kathellll">Kat</a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://sydneystarlights.tumblr.com/">Sydney</a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.tumblr.com/guuuurei">Grey</a></div></ul> <ul><div style="text-align: center;"><h1>''Beta Testers''</h1></div> <div style="text-align: center;">Brit</div> <div style="text-align: center;">Dandelion</div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.tumblr.com/mothrbs?source=share">El</a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://poisonouslili.tumblr.com/">Lili</a></div> <div style="text-align: center;">Oceanodestrellas</div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href=" https://angrelysimpping.tumblr.com/?source=share">Quiet</a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href=" https://www.tumblr.com/quoththe-ravenn">Raven</a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kathellll">Kat</a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.tumblr.com/crushoncaleb">Emma</a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://sydneystarlights.tumblr.com/">Sydney</a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.tumblr.com/guuuurei">Grey</a></div></ul> <ul><div style="text-align: center;"><h1>''Decay Tier Patrons!''</h1></div> <div style="text-align: center;">Casique</div> <div style="text-align: center;">Dani</div> <div style="text-align: center;">Flora</div> <div style="text-align: center;">FutureGrave</div> <div style="text-align: center;">Hannya </div> <div style="text-align: center;">Hawke</div> <div style="text-align: center;">Kraken</div> <div style="text-align: center;">Nonu shirokane</div> <div style="text-align: center;">Sonia</div> <div style="text-align: center;">Sophia Appleton</div> <div style="text-align: center;">Tay</div> <div style="text-align: center;">Voxilyn</div> <div style="text-align: center;">Yannibooswaggu</div> <div style="text-align: center;">Zee</div> </ul> <</nobr>> Without any of these people, this game would be... Well, bug riddled, filled with mistakes and not half as fun. A thousand thanks and kisses to my favourite people here. Also a big thanks to my patrons, each and everyone! They help alleviate other stresses so I can spend just a bit more time on working on my games! <<link "Replay the game">><<run UI.restart()>><</link>>

<<set $therapyian to true>><<set $therapyinteract += 1>><<set $IkeRep += 1>>"Ian." You began. The words stilled on your tongue. "Ian." Dr Crane gave a fleeting smile. "How is Mr. $surname doing these days?" You <<if $snack is "Slushie">>reached over and picked up your cup again. Ignoring the Doctor's faint grimace as the brightly coloured mostly-liquid concoation, you began to drink down as if you hadn't had any liquid in days. Anything to give you a momentary buffer.<<elseif $snack is "Pretzel">>grabbed the remainder of your pretzel and bite a sizeable chunk out of it, taking the moment to chew slowly and thoroughly.<<elseif $snack is "Chocolate">>snapped off another piece of chocolate and tucked it into your cheek. Dr Crane raised his eyebrow, just a miniscule amount, but it was obvious to you. You chewed it a bit. It slowly melted. <<elseif $snack is "Sweets">>desperately stuck another piece of candy in your mouth, rolling it so it dragged over your teeth and tongue. Only then did you start to slowly chew.<<elseif $snack is "Chips">>grabbed your bag and sunk your hand inside, desperately grabbing for a handful of chips to chew away on. The sharp edge scraped your tongue.<<elseif $snack is "Pastry">>plucked your almost finished pastry and promptly took a bite, not noticing the flakey crumbs fluttering down onto your trousers. ou chewed slowly, savouring the taste.<<else>>grabbed your hot dog again, pointedly ignore the scrunch of Dr Crane's eyebrows and took a bite. You chewed slowly, savouring it despite the fact it wasn't the //hot// part of the dog anymore.<</if>> "Okay." Dr Crane gave a small smile and spun his pen between two fingers. "Easier one. Did he get up?" <ul> <li>[[Tell the Truth|0.021][$truthful +=1]]</li> <li>[[Lie.|0.021][$truthful -=1]]</li> </ul>

<<timed 10s>><<audio "scrib" play>><</timed>><<set $therapydad to true>><<set $therapyinteract += 1>><<set $IkeRep += 1>>"Dad." Dr Crane tilted his head and leaned over to his side table. Your folder. Of course. He lifted the first page slightly before retracting his hand, pages fluttering gently. "Your father. Lives out of state, doesn't he?" "Hmh. Ten hour car ride." "Do you have ongoing contact with him?" Every now and then, a letter slips through the mail slot of the door. With your name on it. In his hand writing. You'd put it in your drawer, thinking that you'd open it later. Later never really came. You didn't know if it slipped free of your mind, like sand through an hourglass, or if you willingly pushed it away. But... "Hm. Let me rephrase. Do you wish to have ongoing contact with him?" "<<cycle "$contact" autoselect>> <<option "I think... Despite it all. I would." "yes">> <<option "...No. I... Don't think I'd like to." "no">> <<option "Not sure... Sometimes?" "sometime">><</cycle>>" Dr Crane gave a tilted smile and wrote something down, fountainpen gently scratching against the paper. "You don't want to talk about your father often. What part of his..." He leafed through an earlier part of his notebook. "... Betrayal, as it was put, keeps you from wanting to connect?" ... God, where do you even start? <ul> <li>[[The lying.|0.031][$dadlying to true]]</li> <li>[[The Abandonment.|0.031][$dadabandon to true]]</li> <li>[[The family.|0.031][$dadfamily to true]]</li></ul>

<<set $therapyhabits to true>><<set $IkeRep += 1>><<set $therapyinteract += 1>>"Umh." You fiddled with your hoodie sleeve and shifted in your sheet. "I do... Feel like I have to talk about.. A little bit... That my coping stuff has been... Not... Well. It's..." Dr Crane gently cut you off, holding up his hand. "Remind me. The coping methods we've talked about are things such as taking a moment to breath deeply, meditations, journaling, exercising, taking a bath, such and so on." He tapped his pen against the paper a few times, dark eyes narrowed. "So...?" <<cycle "$coping">> <<option "(Lie) I do them. They're just not working as well." "lie">> <<option "I... It's a struggle to do them. I try. But I fall back on... Some bad ones." truth>> <<option "Those don't work. No point." "pointless">> <</cycle>> Dr Crane gave a small nod and sighed through his nose, writing something down. "I have something in mind for you, but we might have to leave it for us to talk about next time. I'm still waiting on clearance for it." He gave a somewhat tortured, crooked smile and shifted in his chair. [[Time ticked by.|0.060]]

<<if $truthful gte 1>>"No." You finally said, shifting in your seat. "He didn't." "Hm." The Doctor readjusted his glasses. "Did he speak at all?" "No... I think he was crying again." Dr Crane gave a gentle shrug. Tap, tap, tap, the pen against the white paper. Like he was thinking something over. "Do you ever feel like that, $name? Want to stay in bed and cry?" "<<cycle "$fragile" autoselect>> <<option "Yes, I do." "yes">> <<option "No, I don't." "no">> <<option "(lie) No... I... I don't." "lie">><</cycle>>" You answered, slow and unsure where he was going with this. "Well, this is how your stepfather can bear the day. he needs to take the time to cry. To grieve. To unshoulder everything that hurts inside, so he can leave his room. The same way you need to do certain rituals to leave the house. Put on your armour. To take a moment." You gently chewed the inside of your cheek. "And if it's been happening more, then he just has to put on more armour to face the day. Now... Did you want to talk about anything in particular, about Ian?" <<else>>"Yes, he did." You started, shifting in your seat. You fought to keep more words from spilling out but it never worked. "We ate together- Well, he ate. I drank. Some $hdrink." "Hm." Dr Crane gave a faint smile and wrote something down. "<<if $hdrink is "coffee">>Too much of that is bad for you. Of course, I am not one to judge. Being a hypocrite is also bad for you.<<elseif $hdrink is "hot chocolate">>I've heard that its a good comfort drink. I haven't had it since I was young, but it's good to start your day feeling soothed.<<elseif $hdrink is "tea">>I am partial to a Earl Grey from time to time myself.<<elseif $hdrink is "chai">>Hm. I've never had it. I might have to, next time I'm at the University's coffee shop.<<elseif $hdrink is "lemon water">>Lemon water is a good source of Vitamin C, you know. It's good that you're making sure to keep your levels up.<<elseif $hdrink is "milk">>Right. Regular calcium is very good. I am just slightly surprised you don't have it with something else.<</if>> Well, it's good you two spent time together. Tell me, do you enjoy spending mornings with your stepfather?" "<<cycle "$iantime" autoselect>> <<option "Yes it's... It's nice." "yes">> <<option "I.. Not... All the time." "no">><</cycle>>" You answered, slow and measured. Dr Crane hummed, rubbing the end oif his pen against his clean shaved chin. He watched you. For just a little while before leaning back in his seat. "$name, did you want to talk about anything in particular, about Ian?" <</if>> <ul> <li>[[When Mama died.|0.022][$mamadeath to true]]</li> <li>[[When he married Mama|0.022][$mamalife to true]]</li> <li>[[When Dad came back.|0.022][$father to true]]</li> </ul>

<<audio "scrib" play>><<if $mamadeath is true>><<set $IkeRep += 1>>"When Mama... She... " You took a deep breath. "It was like he wasn't there anymore." Dr Crane tilted his head, looking at you from over the rim of his glasses. His pen paused in its lazy spirals in the corner of the page and slowly moved to the left of the page. Waiting. <<if $truthful gte 1>>"When he has his bad days... When he's putting his armour on? Well. For a moment, it's like I'm back there. The day after she... He just cried.<<else>>"It's just... When he used to have his bad days? It... Reminds me. Of the morning after. And he was just crying.<</if>> And then.. When he did come back? He wasn't there. Like Mama had taken a piece of him with her." Dr Crane's dark, endless eyes remained on you. Unmoving. Only his pen moved swiftly from side to side. "It scared me back then. Because back then, when Mama struggled, he was there. He'd sit with her and hold her hand and slowly get her out of bed and make her eat and drink and then she was alive again. She'd laugh and say she just needed a ... Little Ian to start her day. She'd go out to the horses. Have someone over for coffee. She was Mama again." The edge of the Doctor's mouth tilted, as if he was giving a sympathetic look to you. "And sometimes I think... That one day he won't get up. He'll just stay there and cry, like Mama did. After Dad left. Then it would just be me. Alone. Because there's no one to... Be his own Little Ian to start the day. And I can't do it. I can't help anyone." Your throat felt swollen. Dr Crane had that effect. He'd ask something that didn't hurt. And by the end you were spilling your guts, gushing your innards out, all over his green carpet, and he'd just sit there, writing notes.<<elseif $mamalife is true>>"When he married Mama. The day." You couldn't help the smile that twitched at the corners of your lips. "I spent most of the day with Mama. I was already dressed. And..." You couldn't stop the small laugh that escaped. "She wanted me to walk her down the aisle. To give her away. I was... nine?" Dr Crane's lips twitched, curling upwards faintly before dropping again. "And one of Mama's friends came in while her hair was being done. And said Ian was asking for me. He was nervous, and for some reason I thought he was going to call off the wedding and that I was the best person to tell the news to Mama. No. He wanted to ask me for my blessing." The doctor stifled a small cough and his pen went back to making spirals in the corner. "<<cycle "$firstian" autoselect>> <<option "I didn't really like Ian at first. It was too soon after dad. At least it felt like it back then." "dislike">> <<option "I didn't know what to make of him at first. But he was okay, and he made Mama happy." "fine">> <<option "I don't know why, but I liked him immediately. He was just so different from Dad and after everything... That was good." "like">><</cycle>>" You thought back to that day. He was nervous and he kept rubbing at his beard so hard that it seemed just moments from //coming off. "I just... I know it's just been you and your mom. I don't want you to think I want to... take her away from you, or anything. My dad remarried when I was young, and I remember... Not... Well. I wanna be clear that I wanna be in both of your lives. And I don't want to replace your dad. I just. You're important too, kiddo."// "Well, did you?" Crane tilted his head. "... I can't remember." You remembered Mama's hand in yours, excited. The flash bulb of the photos. Ian gently hoisting you up so you could be between him and Mama in them. The cake, the rich frosting, the dancing. Overhearing one of the relatives asking whose taking you while Ian and Mama were on their honeymoon... Who... Who did.... "... Are you alright?" He leaned forward, putting his notepad to the side for a moment. "Is there something troubling you?" "No... Yes... Sorry. I can't... It's all fuzzy." "Hm." He sat back. "That's normal. Some memories will either fade, or, if particularly painful, the brain diminishes them on its own. Your mother was happy that day, correct? And she is, in general, hard for you to think about. So." He gestured vaguely with his fingers and his lips gently curved into a reassuring smile. All explained. As per usual. He had that effect. Kept you from slipping into a dark, worried spiral with a simple explanation and a quick dust off. <<else>><<set $IkeRep += 1>>"When... When Dad came back." You let out a hard, short breath. Dr Crane immediately sat up a bit in his chair and rested his pen tip against the left side of the page. Dark eyes on you. "After mom died. Dad came back to the house. He wanted custody of me. To take me back. To //his// family. Ian and he were talking it out. Trying to settle it. Then... Ian had dropped me off at the //rented house where Dad was staying." It was nice. Picturesque. A cottage. Ian patted your head and had gone with Dad to talk. They talked a lot these days. Quietly. In low voices. Dad's wife was okay. Mostly drank wine and read her thick, glossy magazines. That left... Tilly. Half sister. Kicking you at the table, Pinching you whenever she could. Saying... Saying... That... You were in the kitchen. Quietly eating. And she hissed something. And there was tears. Noise got louder. And louder. Until it became a whistling. And hot. Hot, hot, hot, tears down your face, rushing in your ears and suddenly you weren't the only one crying and the wife is screaming and Tilly's nails are in your arm and Ian is lifting you up and walking away and shouting at Dad. Called Tilly his b-word daughter and left.// "Is it bothering you?" Dr Crane asked mildly. "... What?" "Your forearm." Your hand stopped rubbing at your jacket sleeve. Faint, bubbled scar. "... Ian didn't want to give up custody. Dad fought him on it. Ian won but... We couldn't keep the house after all the fees. As well as everything else. The flat... It's still not home. Most of our stuff isn't even unpacked still. Still! It's as if we're waiting to go back one day." Dr Crane frowned gently and wrote something down. "Would you want to go back?" "<<cycle "$gohome" autoselect>> <<option "I think so. Despite everything. I would." "yes">> <<option "... Maybe not. It's where she... Probably not." "no">> <</cycle>>" Dr Crane wrote down another thing, with a faint smile. You felt drained. Talking about your parents, your biological ones, always did this. He always managed to do this. Get you to start talking about something sore, painful, without much effort. <</if>> [[Time ticked by.|0.060]]

<<set $IkeRep -= 1>><<set $therapyinteract -= 1>>You started to ramble. Almost endlessly. Talking about whatever random thought entered your head, skirting around the painful and unpleasant. You only paused when Dr Crane capped his pen and sat back. His notebook was blank. You looked at him for a moment. He raised a black eyebrow. "Carry on. Your at liberty to use your time as you wish, $title $surname." But he didn't reopen his pen... You could start... Actually telling him things. About [[Ian|0.020]], or [[dad|0.030]]... Maybe the [[coping methods|0.040]] you've been using... But... [[not really saying anything...|0.051]] was easier...

<<audio "scrib" play>><<if $dadlying is true>><<set $IkeRep += 1>>"The... The lying I think." You mulled it over. "Is being truthful important to you?" <<cycle "$truthful">> <<option "Not really. Everyone lies." -1 selected>> <<option "Yes. Especially... Someone like a dad. Shouldn't lie." 1>> <<option "(Lie)Yes. Truth should be important to everyone." -2>> <</cycle>> Dr Crane gently inclined his head at your answer, smiled, just a bit, and wrote something else down. He rested his chin on the heel of his palm and tilted his head slightly. An invitation to carry on. "Well... It's... Almost dizzying to think about. He lied for eight years. Every day, he got up, and lied. On the phone, to us. To his friends." "Your mother and him, they weren't married, correct?" "No, but still. Ian once said he coasted by on the fact Mama was kind of a hippie back then. Didn't believe in marriage. Lucky for him. He'd have gone to jail for bigamy." You rubbed at your hoodie sleeve. The thing still smelt like dad. Your stomach tightened and you felt something sour on your tongue. "He lied to the both of us. But when it finally came out, he went home to //them//. I remember Mama crying, saying she'd forgive him if he stayed." "... And what do you think about that?" Dr Crane leaned forward slightly. <<cycle "$dadbeg" autoselect>> <<option "It was pathetic. She shouldnt have begged. He was a liar who ruined four lives. They could have him." "negative">> <<option "Sometimes... I get it. If I thought my entire life was going to be spent with one person, I'd want to keep them. But also... No. I could never look at him the same way again." "mixture">>> <<option "I... Sometimes... Think that if I also went downstairs that day. And begged. Dad would have stayed. That he'd have divorced and stayed with us. Because he was happier with us." "positive">>> <</cycle>> Dr Crane smiled and leaned back, writing something else down. He gestured with his pen. //Carry on.// "It... And it never seemed to bother him. He was smiling and friendly. The neighbours liked him. Everyone did. Yeah, he had to spend a few months away at a time, but that was... His job. Which turned out to be another lie. I guess we should feel special, that he told them he had to travel most of the time. Spent more time with us, at least." "Then, if I may, with such partiality towards you and your Mother, why...?" "Did he go back to them?... I don't know." Dr Crane pursed his lips and wrote. Your stomach felt... Sore. Like that one summer you had a fever and couldn't stop throwing up. You had nothing left in your stomach, and the emptied ache was... Sore.<<elseif $dadabandon is true>><<set $IkeRep += 1>>"... The fact he left, I think." You finally say, your skin feeling... Itchy. "So, if he had stayed...?" <<cycle "$dadleft" autoselect>> <<option "I still wouldn't have forgiven him. But... Maybe Mama... We don't know. But she wanted him to stay." "negative">> <<option "Not sure. Maybe. Maybe not. But at the time, it might have made us feel better." "mixture">>> <<option "I... I think after a while. I would have forgiven him. If he had stayed and tried to be better." "positive">>> <</cycle>> Dr Crane gave a hum. Wrote something down before tapping his pen a few times against the paper. "Do you think this is why you have been struggling to create bonds outside of the ones with your stepfather and, if I may, myself? The fear of being abandoned once more?" Your stomach tightened. Your tongue felt acidic. Dragging it against your teeth, you ruminated on how to properly reply before giving a soft, small sigh that caused his dark eyebrow to inch upwards. <<cycle "$abandonfear" autoselect>> <<option "I don't think it's the abandoning section, of being left alone. It's the responsibility he had that he ditched. I'm more afraid of failing in my responsibilities." "disagree">> <<option "Maybe. I... I think so. Because he... Both he and Mama left. They're gone. If I... You know. There's a chance that someone else could be taken away. Or leave." "agree">>> <<option "(Lie) No... No. Not me. I don't think so." "bluff">>><</cycle>> You exhaled, long and hard after saying your piece. Dr Crane gave a miniscule smile, shown in his eyes, before writing more. You felt unsettled. Itchy. <<else>><<set $IkeRep += 1>>"It's... I..." You straightened in your seat, as if doing so could make the truth travel to your tongue easier. Like vomit. "It's the fact... He already had a family. He kept them secret." "Does it affect you unfavourably that you do not get along with his other family?" <<cycle "$otherfamily" autoselect>> <<option "They're bitches. Both of them." "worse">> <<option "... Well, he deserves them. That's all." "bad">>> <<option "I'm sure his daughter didn't mean to throw boiling water on me." "shit">>><</cycle>> Dr Crane coughed a bit, but you swore you heard a slight chuckle. He tugged at his tie a bit and scribbled something down. "I see." He tilted his head a bit. "So, if he hadn't lied about his other family, do you think both parties would have gotten along slightly better? Say, if they had been divorced at the time of your birth at least?" You shrugged, playing with your hoodie's drawstrings. Your arm felt... Tight. Right where the old burn used to be. <</if>> [[Time ticked by.|0.060]]

Time trailed by. Dr Crane had a half page of notes, adding more and more. Without meaning to, your brain slowly went to the others things you wanted to talk about. You didn't even actively choose to start talking. You couldn't stop it. Like a tio unscrewed from a bottle and turned upside down. The Doctor looked up from his notes and gave an encouraging nod. <<if $therapyian is true>> [[You could talk about dad now... Fitting, after Ian.|0.061]] [[Maybe... About your coping habits now...?|0.065]] <<elseif $therapydad is true>> [[Could be a good time to start talking about Ian...|0.063]] [[Should talk about your habits before you forget...|0.065]] <<elseif $therapyhabits is true>> [[Speaking of bad habits... Could talk about dad.|0.061]] [[Great moment to start talking about Ian. After admiting you're doing not amazingly.|0.063]] <</if>>

<<timed 10s>><<audio "scrib" play>><</timed>><<set $therapydad to true>><<set $therapyinteract += 1>><<set $IkeRep += 1>>"Dad." Dr Crane tilted his head and leaned over to his side table. Your folder. Of course. He lifted the first page slightly before retracting his hand, pages fluttering gently. "Your father. Lives out of state, doesn't he?" "Hmh. Ten hour car ride." "Do you have ongoing contact with him?" Every now and then, a letter slips through the mail slot of the door. With your name on it. In his hand writing. You'd put it in your drawer, thinking that you'd open it later. Later never really came. You didn't know if it slipped free of your mind, like sand through an hourglass, or if you willingly pushed it away. But... "Hm. Let me rephrase. Do you wish to have ongoing contact with him?" "<<cycle "$contact" autoselect>> <<option "I think... Despite it all. I would." "yes">> <<option "...No. I... Don't think I'd like to." "no">> <<option "Not sure... Sometimes?" "sometime">><</cycle>>" Dr Crane gave a tilted smile and wrote something down, fountainpen gently scratching against the paper. "You don't want to talk about your father often. What part of his..." He leafed through an earlier part of his notebook. "... Betrayal, as it was put, keeps you from wanting to connect?" ... God, where do you even start? <ul> <li>[[The lying.|0.062][$dadlying to true]]</li> <li>[[The Abandonment.|0.062][$dadabandon to true]]</li> <li>[[The family.|0.062][$dadfamily to true]]</li></ul>

<<set $therapyian to true>><<set $therapyinteract += 1>><<set $IkeRep += 1>>"Ian." You began. The words stilled on your tongue. "Ian." Dr Crane gave a fleeting smile. "How is Mr. $surname doing these days?" You <<if $snack is "Slushie">>reached over and picked up your cup again. Ignoring the Doctor's faint grimace as the brightly coloured mostly-liquid concoation, you began to drink down as if you hadn't had any liquid in days. Anything to give you a momentary buffer.<<elseif $snack is "Pretzel">>grabbed the remainder of your pretzel and bite a sizeable chunk out of it, taking the moment to chew slowly and thoroughly.<<elseif $snack is "Chocolate">>snapped off another piece of chocolate and tucked it into your cheek. Dr Crane raised his eyebrow, just a miniscule amount, but it was obvious to you. You chewed it a bit. It slowly melted. <<elseif $snack is "Sweets">>desperately stuck another piece of candy in your mouth, rolling it so it dragged over your teeth and tongue. Only then did you start to slowly chew.<<elseif $snack is "Chips">>grabbed your bag and sunk your hand inside, desperately grabbing for a handful of chips to chew away on. The sharp edge scraped your tongue.<<elseif $snack is "Pastry">>plucked your almost finished pastry and promptly took a bite, not noticing the flakey crumbs fluttering down onto your trousers. ou chewed slowly, savouring the taste.<<else>>grabbed your hot dog again, pointedly ignore the scrunch of Dr Crane's eyebrows and took a bite. You chewed slowly, savouring it despite the fact it wasn't the //hot// part of the dog anymore.<</if>> "Okay." Dr Crane gave a small smile and spun his pen between two fingers. "Easier one. Did he get up?" <ul> <li>[[Tell the Truth|0.064][$truthful +=1]]</li> <li>[[Lie.|0.064][$truthful -=1]]</li> </ul>

Your stomach felt unsettled. Your snack was gone now. The room felt a bit too hot now... Dr Crane's page was full now. He had to start a new one. It was strange. You didn't feel like you were saying all that much really... <<if $therapyian is true and $therapydad is true>> [[After both of the men that seemed to dominate your therapy session... The habits would be best next.|0.071]] <<elseif $therapyian is true and $therapyhabits is true>> [[Speaking of your stepfather, bad habits, struggling. Time for dad.|0.072]] <<elseif $therapydad is true and $therapyhabits is true>> [[Best to talk about Ian before the hour is up...|0.074]] <</if>>

<<timed 10s>><<audio "scrib" play>><</timed>><<set $therapydad to true>><<set $therapyinteract += 1>><<set $IkeRep += 1>>"Dad." Dr Crane tilted his head and leaned over to his side table. Your folder. Of course. He lifted the first page slightly before retracting his hand, pages fluttering gently. "Your father. Lives out of state, doesn't he?" "Hmh. Ten hour car ride." "Do you have ongoing contact with him?" Every now and then, a letter slips through the mail slot of the door. With your name on it. In his hand writing. You'd put it in your drawer, thinking that you'd open it later. Later never really came. You didn't know if it slipped free of your mind, like sand through an hourglass, or if you willingly pushed it away. But... "Hm. Let me rephrase. Do you wish to have ongoing contact with him?" "<<cycle "$contact" autoselect>> <<option "I think... Despite it all. I would." "yes">> <<option "...No. I... Don't think I'd like to." "no">> <<option "Not sure... Sometimes?" "sometime">><</cycle>>" Dr Crane gave a tilted smile and wrote something down, fountainpen gently scratching against the paper. "You don't want to talk about your father often. What part of his..." He leafed through an earlier part of his notebook. "... Betrayal, as it was put, keeps you from wanting to connect?" ... God, where do you even start? <ul> <li>[[The lying.|0.073][$dadlying to true]]</li> <li>[[The Abandonment.|0.073][$dadabandon to true]]</li> <li>[[The family.|0.073][$dadfamily to true]]</li></ul>

<<set $therapyian to true>><<set $therapyinteract += 1>><<set $IkeRep += 1>>"Ian." You began. The words stilled on your tongue. "Ian." Dr Crane gave a fleeting smile. "How is Mr. $surname doing these days?" You <<if $snack is "Slushie">>reached over and picked up your cup again. Ignoring the Doctor's faint grimace as the brightly coloured mostly-liquid concoation, you began to drink down as if you hadn't had any liquid in days. Anything to give you a momentary buffer.<<elseif $snack is "Pretzel">>grabbed the remainder of your pretzel and bite a sizeable chunk out of it, taking the moment to chew slowly and thoroughly.<<elseif $snack is "Chocolate">>snapped off another piece of chocolate and tucked it into your cheek. Dr Crane raised his eyebrow, just a miniscule amount, but it was obvious to you. You chewed it a bit. It slowly melted. <<elseif $snack is "Sweets">>desperately stuck another piece of candy in your mouth, rolling it so it dragged over your teeth and tongue. Only then did you start to slowly chew.<<elseif $snack is "Chips">>grabbed your bag and sunk your hand inside, desperately grabbing for a handful of chips to chew away on. The sharp edge scraped your tongue.<<elseif $snack is "Pastry">>plucked your almost finished pastry and promptly took a bite, not noticing the flakey crumbs fluttering down onto your trousers. ou chewed slowly, savouring the taste.<<else>>grabbed your hot dog again, pointedly ignore the scrunch of Dr Crane's eyebrows and took a bite. You chewed slowly, savouring it despite the fact it wasn't the //hot// part of the dog anymore.<</if>> "Okay." Dr Crane gave a small smile and spun his pen between two fingers. "Easier one. Did he get up?" <ul> <li>[[Tell the Truth|0.075][$truthful +=1]]</li> <li>[[Lie.|0.075][$truthful -=1]]</li> </ul>

<<set $exhaustion += 1>>You felt... Tired. Drained. Wrung dry of all the ugliness that had been building inside of you. Like you really could use another $hdrink. Dr Crane was just finishing up another paragraph before he slowly capped his pen again and shut the notebook. He took a moment to crack his knuckles as well as his neck before giving you a tepid smile. "Unfortunately our time is up now. You don't have to worry about any hassle with the receptionist. And, again, I will discuss a new medication for you next time, to help with the... Habits. Until then, please take care of yourself, $name." He gave a gentle smile and stood up, walking towards the office door, opening it for you. You walked past him, into the reception and you could hear it shutting again behind you. [[It was now bare...|0.090]]

<<set $IkeRep -= 1>>You breathlessly continued. Just letting your mouth run without your brain ever even getting on the same track. Dr Crane just watched, nodded, but never interjected, and there was never a spark of interest in his dark eyes. Time dragged on... And on... Until- "My apologies, $title $surname." Crane finally said, easily shutting his blank notebook with a flick of his finger. "But it seems our hour is up. I will see you next time, hm?" He stood up abruptly and headed towards his desk, leaving you to shuffle out, into the waiting room once more. You could hear the door shutting again behind you. [[It was now bare...|0.090]]

<<if $coping is "lie">><<set $truthful -= 1>><<else>><<set $truthful += 1>><</if>><<if $abandonfear is "bluff">><<set $truthful -= 1>><<else>><<set $truthful += 1>><</if>><<if $fragile is "lie">><<set $truthful -= 1>><<else>><<set $truthful += 1>><</if>> <<if $contact is "yes">><<set $dadrep += 2>><<elseif $contact is "sometime">><<set $dadrep += 1>><<elseif $contact is "no">><<set $dadrep -= 1>><</if>><<if $abandonfear is "bluff" or $abandonfear is "agree">><<set $abandonment to true>><<elseif $abandonfear is "disagree">><<set $abandonfear to false>><</if>><<if $iantime is "yes">><<set $Ianrep += 2>><<elseif $IanRep -= 2>><</if>> <<goto "0.091">>

It was now bare, except for the receptionist and a girl standing by her, talking animatedly with her hands. You <<if $therapyinteract gte 1>>felt drained. Tired. Without a snack. Ripped open and stitched back together clumsily. Which of those were the worst part, you didn't know.<<else>>felt a bit tired, but nothing too bad.<</if>> You still had to get home and prepare for your classes. Another $hdrink would perk you right up so you could sit down and work- "No, you're not listening. I'm not here to book an appointment! A-At least not today! I just want to know what's the latest Doctor Crane would take- Oh." The girl had turned to glance at the doctor's door, only to fall silent at the sight of you. Recognition went both ways. You don't think you could ever forget her. Not in this lifetime, nor the next. Her hair was the same. Lusciously curly, the usual soft brown, almost melting into blond. Rich tawny skin sprinkled a galaxy of freckles over her cheeks, with the most entracing hazel eyes that you remembered too well. She had grown up from dungarees and ladybird wellies. Exchanged for a soft baby blue jumper and a light floral print skirt, airy and swishing around her ankles. Pink sneakers with mismatched socks. Mulitple dainty rings decorated her fingers, with the chord of a pendant necklace tucked beneath her neckline. Katrina van Tassel. Kat. <img src="https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/scl/fi/ea23xruryin4mk5brdqax/tumblr_8103664ed83abf97d0f4ab0d1f614493_bcad68e7_1280.jpg?rlkey=n9e7kgrvgnsmam2cncam172ch&st=dutt1ewn&dl=0" centre width="70%" height="60%"> She seemed to be taking you in as well. How you went from <<cycle "$cstyle" autoselect>> <<option "shorts and a constant raincoat" "raincoatshorts">> <<option "skirts with too big shirts" "skirtshirt">> <<option "too long jeans with frayed hems and jumpers" "jeanjumper">> <<option "dresses with bright wellies" "dresswell">><</cycle>> to a hoodie that didn't fit and thick trousers with too many pockets. A part of you wanted to blurt out that this was your armour. Another part wanted to walk closer. To feel just a bit like a kid again, that you're at your birthday party again and Kat is patting your pony's nose and gushing about how cute she was. When she came up to you at school on Monday and gushed over her again and gave you an extra present, a little ceramic horse. Gave you a hug. The memory was warm. "Hey..." She said, soft and gentle, like she didn't want to spook a small animal. Nails looked up from her documents and scrunched her nose at Kat. "It's... Been-" The door opened behind you again and you could smell Dr Crane's sharp aftershave. "I- Oh. Hello, $name. Still here?" You turned to see him leaning casually against his doorframe, glasses put away and dark hair falling into his eyes. "Didn't forget anything, did you?" You opened your mouth to answer, only to hear a clatter of pens and the smack of plastic against wooden floor. Looking back, Kat had knocked the holder of pens down and the receptionist was fussing as she came around to clear them up. But Kat didn't help her. She stood, staring, lips slightly apart. "Miss van Tassel. Did you have an appointment?" Came Crane's voice. Low. Something was hidden there. "N-No. Just got lost." Your palms were sweaty. There was a throb in your temple. You shoved your hands into your pockets, muttered out a goodbye to the Doctor and strode out. Past Kat, past the couching receptionist, out the door. You thought for a moment you could hear your name being called. Out. Out, out, out, out. [[Out into the fresh air.|0.092]]

<<audio "windoutside" stop>><<timed 2s>><<audio "wind" volume 0.01 fadeoverto 30 1 loop>><</timed>><<timed 5s>><<audio "heartbeat" play loop>><</timed>>Back outside. Safe. You could breath again. But it wasn't enough. The hoodie felt thin. The trousers scraped against your skin unpleasantly. You took off. Unlike your walk in, everything faded from sharp focus, into a blur. Just the feeling of your heart hammering in your chest. Your tongue was too dry, your teeth felt too big in your mouth. Everything was taking up space. Your foot snagged on something and you barely managed to right yourself to keep walking and not come crashing down. Left. Down. Down, down, down the hill. Sweat burning in your eyes. Speeding up. Kat. Kat's grown up. You only really saw Ian and Dr Crane, and they didn't seem to age that much. But Kat had grown. Grown up. It hit you. That... Mama had been gone for that long. Rounding the corner, hearing the bell of the corner shop. In all your memories, everything had been so big. Your peers so small. Thinking about, you never tried to imagine any of them being older. Just all still kids. Like Mama had.... Had only left last year, or something. It felt like that anyway. Something sour surged up your throat. You stopped just outside your grey building and lunged over to the bushes, throwing up into the wilting branches. The few things that had finally settled in your stomach was expelled quickly and you were left just desperately spitting the taste out repeatedly. You heard someone pass behind you, muttering something about drunk hobos. You felt your eyes prick with unshed tears, your face too hot. A shaky inhale. Straightening up. Desperately wiping your sleeve over your mouth. You took the stairs up two at a time. Sweat stained your shirt, no doubt sinking into your hoodie. Fumbling with your house keys. Dropping them. Your fingers wet. Unlocking. [[Slamming the door shut behind you...|0.093]]

<<audio "wind" stop>><<timed 2s>><<audio "windoutside" volume 0.01 fadeoverto 30 1 loop>><</timed>><<timed 1s>><<audio "heartbeat" fadeout>><</timed>><<timed 2s>><<audio "radio" volume 0.10 fadeoverto 30 0.50>><</timed>>Back... Safe.... There was movement in the kitchen. Ian. "That you, kid?" He called out. His voice steady. Normal. His armour on. You quickly shed yours, hoodie coming off with the smell of sweat lingering. Have to wash that. You didn't want to kick off your trousers yet. You needed to change. Maybe back into pajamas. "Kid?" "Here." You managed. "One moment." "Sure. Just come in here when you're ready." You shuffled to your bedroom and shut the door. Breathing out slowly. Cat, having moved to your window sill, his fat gently drooping over the side, his face turned to the watery sunshine. Didn't even look at you as you slowly dropped your hoodie on your headboard. Kicking the trousers off took longer, they were sticking to your thighs. You should really shower. Instead you reached for <<cycle "$comfortc" autoselect>> <<option "pajamas" "pjs">> <<option "tank top and leggings" "tanktopleggings">> <<option "sweat pants and jumper" "pantsandjumper">> <<option "robe" "robe">> <</cycle>> and slowly get redressed. Armour for outside, comfort for inside. You picked up the glass of water next to your bed, hoped Cat hadn't been dunking his face into it again and took a long sip, before swishing the liquid around your mouth. You looked around. Bathroom too far. You gently opened the window, getting an inquisitive, if grumpy, scratchy meow from Cat, and spat it outside. Hopefully no one was walking below. You shut it again. Took two long gulps to wash it all down and sighed. Alright. You reemerged outside, hearing Cat jump down from the sill and his heavy paw steps after you. Into the kitchen. Oh. Bags. Shopping bags. Ian. Ian in his paint covered jeans and faded tshirt. Putting food away. He turned to you with a lopsided smile. His hair was getting too long, curling around his ears. Longer than he used to like it at least. Greyed ginger hair, brown eyes. He needed to trim his beard. He put away some milk and used his free hand to gesture towards a letter on the table. "Dad?" You asked automatically. Unable to stop it. "Uh. No. Sorry, kiddo." He scratched his chin. You always liked the sound. Your mother compared it to petting a particularly hairy dog. "Umh. Something from your school." You glanced at it. Funny that you went to your university twice a week and had never been to any of your actual classes. Wearily, you picked it up and slowly opened it. //Dear $title $name $surname, Due to budget cuts, we are no longer able to upkeep our department for students taking courses in absentia. Starting in the new month, (<b>1st October</b>), all students currently studying from home, are mandated to return to in person classes. As you are registered as a student in absentia, this concerns you and your studies. If you wish to cease your studies, please get in contact before-....// Your stomach was roiling again. You felt something sour on your tongue once more. You dropped the letter. Ian looked up from giving Cat a treat and leaned over to pick it up. You barely made it to the bathroom to throw up again, still hearing his voice from the kitchen. "Ah, shit." [[...|Credits]]

<<if $truthful gte 1>>"No." You finally said, shifting in your seat. "He didn't." "Hm." The Doctor readjusted his glasses. "Did he speak at all?" "No... I think he was crying again." Dr Crane gave a gentle shrug. Tap, tap, tap, the pen against the white paper. Like he was thinking something over. "Do you ever feel like that, $name? Want to stay in bed and cry?" "<<cycle "$fragile" autoselect>> <<option "Yes, I do." "yes">> <<option "No, I don't." "no">> <<option "(lie) No... I... I don't." "lie">><</cycle>>" You answered, slow and unsure where he was going with this. "Well, this is how your stepfather can bear the day. he needs to take the time to cry. To grieve. To unshoulder everything that hurts inside, so he can leave his room. The same way you need to do certain rituals to leave the house. Put on your armour. To take a moment." You gently chewed the inside of your cheek. "And if it's been happening more, then he just has to put on more armour to face the day. Now... Did you want to talk about anything in particular, about Ian?" <<else>>"Yes, he did." You started, shifting in your seat. You fought to keep more words from spilling out but it never worked. "We ate together- Well, he ate. I drank. Some $hdrink." "Hm." Dr Crane gave a faint smile and wrote something down. "<<if $hdrink is "coffee">>Too much of that is bad for you. Of course, I am not one to judge. Being a hypocrite is also bad for you.<<elseif $hdrink is "hot chocolate">>I've heard that its a good comfort drink. I haven't had it since I was young, but it's good to start your day feeling soothed.<<elseif $hdrink is "tea">>I am partial to a Earl Grey from time to time myself.<<elseif $hdrink is "chai">>Hm. I've never had it. I might have to, next time I'm at the University's coffee shop.<<elseif $hdrink is "lemon water">>Lemon water is a good source of Vitamin C, you know. It's good that you're making sure to keep your levels up.<<elseif $hdrink is "milk">>Right. Regular calcium is very good. I am just slightly surprised you don't have it with something else.<</if>> Well, it's good you two spent time together. Tell me, do you enjoy spending mornings with your stepfather?" "<<cycle "$iantime" autoselect>> <<option "Yes it's... It's nice." "yes">> <<option "I.. Not... All the time." "no">><</cycle>>" You answered, slow and measured. Dr Crane hummed, rubbing the end oif his pen against his clean shaved chin. He watched you. For just a little while before leaning back in his seat. "$name, did you want to talk about anything in particular, about Ian?" <</if>> <ul> <li>[[When Mama died.|0.066][$mamadeath to true]]</li> <li>[[When he married Mama|0.066][$mamalife to true]]</li> <li>[[When Dad came back.|0.066][$father to true]]</li> </ul>

<<if $truthful gte 1>>"No." You finally said, shifting in your seat. "He didn't." "Hm." The Doctor readjusted his glasses. "Did he speak at all?" "No... I think he was crying again." Dr Crane gave a gentle shrug. Tap, tap, tap, the pen against the white paper. Like he was thinking something over. "Do you ever feel like that, $name? Want to stay in bed and cry?" "<<cycle "$fragile" autoselect>> <<option "Yes, I do." "yes">> <<option "No, I don't." "no">> <<option "(lie) No... I... I don't." "lie">><</cycle>>" You answered, slow and unsure where he was going with this. "Well, this is how your stepfather can bear the day. he needs to take the time to cry. To grieve. To unshoulder everything that hurts inside, so he can leave his room. The same way you need to do certain rituals to leave the house. Put on your armour. To take a moment." You gently chewed the inside of your cheek. "And if it's been happening more, then he just has to put on more armour to face the day. Now... Did you want to talk about anything in particular, about Ian?" <<else>>"Yes, he did." You started, shifting in your seat. You fought to keep more words from spilling out but it never worked. "We ate together- Well, he ate. I drank. Some $hdrink." "Hm." Dr Crane gave a faint smile and wrote something down. "<<if $hdrink is "coffee">>Too much of that is bad for you. Of course, I am not one to judge. Being a hypocrite is also bad for you.<<elseif $hdrink is "hot chocolate">>I've heard that its a good comfort drink. I haven't had it since I was young, but it's good to start your day feeling soothed.<<elseif $hdrink is "tea">>I am partial to a Earl Grey from time to time myself.<<elseif $hdrink is "chai">>Hm. I've never had it. I might have to, next time I'm at the University's coffee shop.<<elseif $hdrink is "lemon water">>Lemon water is a good source of Vitamin C, you know. It's good that you're making sure to keep your levels up.<<elseif $hdrink is "milk">>Right. Regular calcium is very good. I am just slightly surprised you don't have it with something else.<</if>> Well, it's good you two spent time together. Tell me, do you enjoy spending mornings with your stepfather?" "<<cycle "$iantime" autoselect>> <<option "Yes it's... It's nice." "yes">> <<option "I.. Not... All the time." "no">><</cycle>>" You answered, slow and measured. Dr Crane hummed, rubbing the end oif his pen against his clean shaved chin. He watched you. For just a little while before leaning back in his seat. "$name, did you want to talk about anything in particular, about Ian?" <</if>> <ul> <li>[[When Mama died.|0.076][$mamadeath to true]]</li> <li>[[When he married Mama|0.076][$mamalife to true]]</li> <li>[[When Dad came back.|0.076][$father to true]]</li> </ul>