ABOMINAL

<center> <img src="http://i66.tinypic.com/qnw4y8.gif"> <align=left> [[START->intro]]

<center><img src="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/543a00d3e4b005acd18066b5/54a9f034e4b0a068cec577ad/56c8f00f22482e3c93f98a4e/1456009235921/mworiese.png?format=500w"> A bundle of faceless cats form into one massive pile with things that look like? Legs? Are those legs? LIKES: Mold, discarded salt piles, artificial light DISLIKES: Being prodded (petting is fine but only after midnight), the colour blue (although it has no eyes so how can it tell what's blue and what isn't?), people named Susan [[I don't want this pet->YOU HAVE PICKED MWORIESE]]

You didn't want Mworiese, but you end up with Mworiese. Sometimes life delivers us unexpected gifts we never wanted or asked for. [[You spend your first night with Mworiese]]

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? [[PLAY->PLAY WITH MWORIESE]] [[FEED->FEED MWORIESE]] [[LOVE->LOVE MWORIESE]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO MWORIESE]]

<center> <img src="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/543a00d3e4b005acd18066b5/54a9f034e4b0a068cec577ad/56c8f5243c44d8347934a6fd/1456010572111/yumdog.PNG?format=500w"> YUMDOG (YUH-MMM-DOE-GH in a loud voice) A creature of unspeakable horror, with multiple tongues and eyes that reflect your most embarrassing moments throughout life. YUMDOG will make sure you never forget about that time you forgot to zip up your pants for a week. LIKES: Eating fresh laundry, pretending to be a pastry, lasers DISLIKES: Drooling (which is strange, as 50% of its body mass is made of tongue, making drooling inevitable), being called yumdog (it's YUMDOG you asshole), Saturdays [[I don't want this pet->YOU HAVE PICKED YUMDOG]]

You didn't want Yumdog, but you end up with Yumdog. Sometimes life delivers us unexpected gifts we never wanted or asked for. [[You spend your first night with Yumdog]]

<center><img src="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/543a00d3e4b005acd18066b5/54a9f034e4b0a068cec577ad/56c8f5b3e32140b693277866/1456010678461/cal.PNG?format=500w"> KALKFIGJRRR (Cal. The KFIGJRRR is silent) -An open voidless gap with fangs, just a lot of fangs. And some teeth. It’s 100% stationary so at least it can’t follow you everywhere you go. LIKES: Sunlight (but only if preceded by 7 days of rain), astrology (not the type you're thinking of however), discarded trays of microwave macaroni DISLIKES: Being stepped on (which is honestly worse for the person stepping on them since they're stepping right onto a mess of fangs and teeth), well-groomed nails, things going too fast [[I don't want this pet->YOU HAVE PICKED KALKFIGJRRR]]

You didn't want Kalkfigjrrr, but you end up with Kalkfigjrrr. Sometimes life delivers us unexpected gifts we never wanted or asked for. [[You spend your first night with KALKFIGJRRR]]

<center><img src="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/543a00d3e4b005acd18066b5/54a9f034e4b0a068cec577ad/56c8f64927d4bd3fdb2b29d0/1456010833189/fun-guard.png?format=500w"> FUN-GUARD (funguard, all one word) A rotating cube that spills tears wherever it goes. Don’t be confused by this, those are not tears, merely tears from prisoners it holds inside its bottomless stomach. LIKES: Sunflower oil (but served inside a foam cup), melting ice cubes, shovels DISLIKES: Uneven numbers, lefty scissors, ghosts [[I don't want this pet->YOU HAVE PICKED FUN-GUARD]]

You didn't want Fun-guard, but you end up with Fun-guard. Sometimes life delivers us unexpected gifts we never wanted or asked for. [[You spend your first night with Fun-Guard]]

The darkness echoes around you. *You've always wanted a pet, haven't you? Of course you do. Everyone wants a pet.* Where is that voice coming from? You can't tell if it's infiltrating your mind or coming from the black void. [[Make your choice.->choice screen]]

<img src="http://i68.tinypic.com/au8p4w.png"> [[MWORIESE]] [[YUMDOG->Yumdog]] [[KALKFIGJRRR]] [[FUN-GUARD->fun-guard]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 6))  (if: $event is 1)[You throw a small ball at Mworiese. It catches it with extreme precision before dissolving it into dust] (elseif: $event is 2)[Does not care for your antics. It vibrates with anger.] (elseif: $event is 3)[STOP!!! STOP IT!!!!!] (elseif: $event is 4)[It runs around on its trunk legs, screaming.] (elseif: $event is 5)[Mworiese rolls into a ball and floats in the air.] (elseif: $event is 6)[Mworiese utters something in an ancient possibly alien language.] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH MWORIESE]] [[FEED->FEED MWORIESE]] [[LOVE->LOVE MWORIESE]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO MWORIESE]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 4))  (if: $event is 1)[How DOES Mworiese eat food?] (elseif: $event is 2)[You offer Mworiese some of your own human food. It runs away and hides under your bed, shaking.] (elseif: $event is 3)["THE FOOD FROM THIS DIMENSION GIVES ME SEVERAL TYPES OF ANXIETY"] (elseif: $event is 4)[You offer cat food, but Mworiese does not seem interested.] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH MWORIESE]] [[FEED->FEED MWORIESE]] [[LOVE->LOVE MWORIESE]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO MWORIESE]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 5))  (if: $event is 1)["NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO".] (elseif: $event is 2)["HUMAN LOVE IS VERY ONE-DIMENSIONAL. WHERE I COME FROM LOVE IS CATEGORIZED INTO 45 DIFFERENT STRAINS OF DISEASE"] (elseif: $event is 3)[Mworiese rolls over. Rolls over faster. It becomes a spinning ball.] (elseif: $event is 4)[Mworiese stands perfectly still and projects an airhorn-like sound] (elseif: $event is 5)[Mworiese flips over into itself.] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH MWORIESE]] [[FEED->FEED MWORIESE]] [[LOVE->LOVE MWORIESE]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO MWORIESE]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 6))  (if: $event is 1)[Mworiese makes a noise you've never heard before.] (elseif: $event is 2)[Mworiese makes a strange humming noise. Suddenly you feel the urge to eat jelly.] (elseif: $event is 3)["THE COLOUR BLUE MAKES ME IRRATIONABLY ANGRY" But you don't have eyes? "WE SEE COLOUR IN A DIFFERENT WAY THAN PRIMITIVE HUMANS"] (elseif: $event is 4)["WE HAVE EXISTED FOR MANY A MILLENIA. WE HAVE SEEN CIVILIZATIONS, RISE, FALL, DECAY, TURN AROUND, DO A LOOP."] (elseif: $event is 5)["WE HAVE A PASSIONATE HATRED TOWARD ANY BEING WITH THE NAME SUSAN" Why's that? "OUR OLD ROOMMATE WAS NAMED SUSAN, SHE WAS A TOOOOTAL BITCH"] (elseif: $event is 6)["LITTLE DO YOU HUMANS KNOW, BUT BEFORE THE SUN WAS A THING WE USED ARTIFICIAL LIGHT." From...electricity? "SEE, THIS IS WHY HUMANS ARE SO USELESS AND UNRESOURCEFUL"] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH MWORIESE]] [[FEED->FEED MWORIESE]] [[LOVE->LOVE MWORIESE]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO MWORIESE]]

You go to the pet store and spend $25 from your pool of $500 (set: $wallet to 475) You currently have $wallet left to spend on Mworiese. [[Feed Mworiese the cat food]]

You offer Mworiese a leftover piece of casserole you weren't able to finish. Mworiese proceeds to stomp on the food with its several legs, damaging your floor. (set: $damage to 'Floor is damaged') $damage You have $wallet left to spend on Mworiese [[Try feeding Mworiese cat food]] [[Ask what it wants]]

You ask Mworiese what it wants. Surprisingly, it responds, despite not having mouths. "NOTHING YOU GIVE ME WILL EVER SATISFY ME, BUT I GUESS IF YOU HAVE ANY DISCARDED SALT OR MOLD LYING AROUND, THAT WILL BE OK."

Mworiese bats away the food with its several trunk legs. Guess it doesn't like cat food. [[Give it some of your leftover dinner]] [[Ask what it wants]]

(if: (count: (history:), "Mworiese sort of looks like a cat, maybe cat food?") is 1)[You've already tried feeding Mworiese cat food.] [[Feed Mworiese the cat food->Feed cat food again]] [[Ask what it wants]] [[Offer leftovers again]]

(if: (count: (history:), "Give it some of your leftover dinner") is 1)[You don't want Mworiese to throw a tantrum again.]

(if: (count: (history:), "Feed Mworiese the cat food") is 1)[You've already tried feeding Mworiese cat food.] Mworiese gets even more riled up the second time. "YOU HUMANS NEVER LEARN YOUR LESSON"

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? [[PLAY->PLAY WITH YUMDOG]] [[FEED->FEED YUMDOG]] [[LOVE->LOVE YUMDOG]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO YUMDOG]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 6))  (if: $event is 1)[You throw a ball at Yumdog. Yumdog looks visibly upset. "YUMDOG IS NOT LIKE THE DOG YOU ARE THINKING OF" it yells.] (elseif: $event is 2)[Yumdog begins to shoot lasers from his eyes] (elseif: $event is 3)[Yumdog suddenly stops drooling, only to continue several seconds later] (elseif: $event is 4)[Its paws scratch at the wall, leaving strange slime pawprints] (elseif: $event is 5)[It stares at you. Its eyes reflect a painful memory you'd rather forget. You look away.] (elseif: $event is 6)[Yumdog begins to float, higher and higher, until it touches your roof, immediately falling down to the floor.] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH YUMDOG]] [[FEED->FEED YUMDOG]] [[LOVE->LOVE YUMDOG]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO YUMDOG]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 5))  (if: $event is 1)[You offer Yumdog a bowl of dog food. "OUR NAME MAY BE YUMDOG BUT WE ARE NOT THAT KIND OF ANIMAL"] (elseif: $event is 2)[You throw Yumdog a bone. It dodges it masterfully] (elseif: $event is 3)[Yumdog ignores your attempt and eats some of your fresh laundry] (elseif: $event is 4)[You offer a leftover piece of bread. "CARBS ARE BAD FOR YOU" Yumdog pants] (elseif: $event is 5)[Yumdog rolls its several eyes at your attempt to nourish it.] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH YUMDOG]] [[FEED->FEED YUMDOG]] [[LOVE->LOVE YUMDOG]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO YUMDOG]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 6))  (if: $event is 1)[You approach Yumdog for a hug but Yumdog phases right through you.] (elseif: $event is 2)[You pet Yumdog's incredibly wet body. He drools constantly so that's not a surprise.] (elseif: $event is 3)[Yumdog sense your intent to love. "NYAAAAAAAAAAAGH" it howls.] (elseif: $event is 4)[Yumdog wags its tail. It wags it faster. Yumdog's tail is now a fan] (elseif: $event is 5)[You wave your hands at Yumdog for it to come over to you. Yumdog disappears into thin air.] (elseif: $event is 6)[You sneak up behind Yumdog and hug it. Yumdog freezes and emits a screeching noise.] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH YUMDOG]] [[FEED->FEED YUMDOG]] [[LOVE->LOVE YUMDOG]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO YUMDOG]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 5))  (if: $event is 1)["YUMDOG WAS ONCE A GREAT MERCENARY." You've killed? "SEE, IN MY TIMELINE, BEING A MERCENARY JUST MEANS YOU DO COOL STUFF FOR PEOPLE BUT HUMANS ARE JUST VIOLENT ABOMINATIONS."] (elseif: $event is 2)["YUMDOG'S MOTHER WAS MOSTLY EYES. I GET MY TONGUES FROM MY FATHER."] (elseif: $event is 3)["MY EYES REFLECT YOUR EMBARASSING LIFE MOMENTS.BUT ONLY YOU CAN SEE THEM. UNFORTUNATELY I DON'T HAVE A SECOND SET OF EYES TO STARE AT MY OWN EYES."] (elseif: $event is 4)["MY FAVOURITE PASSTIME IN MY TIMELINE WAS TO LIE PERFECTLY STILL AND PRETEND I WAS A PASTRY" How? "LIKE THIS" Yumdog morphs into a croissant.] (elseif: $event is 5)[Yumdog speaks to you in a haunting language. "SORRY, THAT WAS ME YAWNING."] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH YUMDOG]] [[FEED->FEED YUMDOG]] [[LOVE->LOVE YUMDOG]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO YUMDOG]]

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? [[PLAY->PLAY WITH FUNGUARD]] [[FEED->FEED FUNGUARD]] [[LOVE->LOVE FUNGUARD]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO FUNGUARD]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 4))  (if: $event is 1)[You're not sure how to play with Fun-Guard. You throw a ball? I guess? Fun-Guard spills more tears.] (elseif: $event is 2)[You attempt to play tag with Fun-Guard. It simply rotates faster and moves away from you.] (elseif: $event is 3)[Fun-Guard rejects your attempt at playing and starts screaming] (elseif: $event is 4)[You try to start playing with Fun-Guard but stop when you suddently hear the sound of loud screaming coming from inside of it. Must be the prisoners it keeps inside its stomach.] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH FUNGUARD]] [[FEED->FEED FUNGUARD]] [[LOVE->LOVE FUNGUARD]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO FUNGUARD]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 4))  (if: $event is 1)[You offer Fun-Guard some of your pasta dinner. Fun-Guard absorbs the pasta, only to spit it out again.] (elseif: $event is 2)[You ask Fun-Guard what it likes to eat. "SUNFLOWER OIL INSIDE A FOAM CUP" Nevermind.] (elseif: $event is 3)[You offer Fun-Guard a glass of water, but then stop, realizing it's probably fully hydrated as a result of the endless stream of tears it produces.] (elseif: $event is 4)[Fun-Guard laughs(?) at your attempt to feed it. "FUN-GUARD IS NOT THAT TYPE OF ORGANISM"] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH FUNGUARD]] [[FEED->FEED FUNGUARD]] [[LOVE->LOVE FUNGUARD]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO FUNGUARD]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 4))  (if: $event is 1)[How the fuck are you supposed to love a crying cube?] (elseif: $event is 2)[You tell Fun-Guard how much you love it. Fun-Guard catches you in a lie. You apologize, but Fun-Guard has already left the room.] (elseif: $event is 3)[You try petting FunGuard, but you fear Fun-Guard might absorb you, making you join its other prisoners inside its bottomless stomach.] (elseif: $event is 4)[You try to hug Fun-Guard, but on second-thought, you don't want to get wet.] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH FUNGUARD]] [[FEED->FEED FUNGUARD]] [[LOVE->LOVE FUNGUARD]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO FUNGUARD]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 4))  (if: $event is 1)["THE PRISONERS INSIDE FUN-GUARD'S STOMACH COMMITTED HORRIBLE CRIMES AGAINST ME. IN THAT THEY'RE HUUUUGE JERKS THAT I DON'T LIKE.] (elseif: $event is 2)[Why are you called Fun-Guard? "MY PARENTS THOUGHT IT SOUNDED COOL. DON'T TRY ASSOCIATING IT WITH YOUR WEIRD ALIEN ENGLISH LANGUAGE"] (elseif: $event is 3)[Fun-Guard chants a strange prayer. Spiders descend from the ceiling] (elseif: $event is 4)["FUN-GUARD HATES GHOSTS" They scare you? "NO, IT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T EAT THEM"] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH FUNGUARD]] [[FEED->FEED FUNGUARD]] [[LOVE->LOVE FUNGUARD]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO FUNGUARD]]

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? [[PLAY->PLAY WITH KALKFIGJRRR]] [[FEED->FEED KALKFIGJRRR]] [[LOVE->LOVE KALKFIGJRRR]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO KALKFIGJRRR]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 4))  (if: $event is 1)[You roll a ball towards KALKFIGJRRR. KALKFIGJRRR groans at your poorly calculated attempt at play.] (elseif: $event is 2)[You're not sure how to play with KALKFIGJRRR. You both exist within your room, silently.] (elseif: $event is 3)[You tell KALKFIGJRRR a joke. KALKFIGJRRR makes a strange grating sound. Not sure if that's a laugh.] (elseif: $event is 4)[You try playing 20 questions with KALKFIGJRRR. KALKFIGJRRR does not understand the concept of what a question is.] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH KALKFIGJRRR]] [[FEED->FEED KALKFIGJRRR]] [[LOVE->LOVE KALKFIGJRRR]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO KALKFIGJRRR]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 4))  (if: $event is 1)[You drop a piece of chicken into KALKFIGJRRR's open mouth. The chicken falls in but seems to go nowhere.] (elseif: $event is 2)[You try asking KALKFIGJRRR what they like to eat. KALKFIGJRRR answers by grinding its various fangs and teeth together] (elseif: $event is 3)[KALKFIGJRRR eats a discarded tray of macaroni you left on the floor. Alright. You do you.] (elseif: $event is 4)[You give KALKFIGJRRR some pizza. KALKFIGJRRR uses telekinesis to throw the pizza out the window.] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH KALKFIGJRRR]] [[FEED->FEED KALKFIGJRRR]] [[LOVE->LOVE KALKFIGJRRR]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO KALKFIGJRRR]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 4))  (if: $event is 1)[You're not sure how to love KALKFIGJRRR. You're afraid of hurting yourself on its teeth.] (elseif: $event is 2)[You tell KALKFIGJRRR you appreciate it for what it is. KALKFIGJRRR spins around on the floor like a top.] (elseif: $event is 3)[You put your hand near KALKFIGJRRR. KALKFIGJRRR slides away under a rug.] (elseif: $event is 4)[You think about putting your hand inside KALKFIGJRRR's mouth. Maybe some other time] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH KALKFIGJRRR]] [[FEED->FEED KALKFIGJRRR]] [[LOVE->LOVE KALKFIGJRRR]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO KALKFIGJRRR]]

(set: $event to (random: 1, 4))  (if: $event is 1)[KALKFIGJRRR whispers stories of a bygone era] (elseif: $event is 2)["IN KALKFIGJRRR'S HOME DIMENSION I WAS A RESPECTED KNIGHT" You're not sure what that means.] (elseif: $event is 3)["KALKFIGJRRR HATES THINGS THAT MOVE TOO FAST. ONLY I SHOULD BE MOVING THAT FAST"] (elseif: $event is 4)[KALKFIGJRRR mentions something about the end of the world. You choose to ignore it] [[PLAY->PLAY WITH KALKFIGJRRR]] [[FEED->FEED KALKFIGJRRR]] [[LOVE->LOVE KALKFIGJRRR]] [[LISTEN TO ITS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS->LISTEN TO KALKFIGJRRR]]