Horizon
A fantastical semi-autobiographic rant
&
An ode to the family car
[[Start]]It's [sometime at night]<night|, you forget when.
(click: ?night)[You're in your Dad's old [[Camry]].
The 5 stretches and vanishes into [[the horizon ahead]].][Mom actually owned this first.]<first|
(click: ?first)[You still remember the confusion when [[this car]] pulled up in front of your cousin's house instead of [the green car]<green|.]
(click: ?green)[That one went to Dad.]The headlights drape over the faded asphalt whispering to your eyes to scan for the [invisible line]<line| ahead.
(click: ?line)[You remember that one [art class]<class| during the summer.]
(click: ?class)[The one you kept [falling asleep]<sleep| in.]
(click: ?sleep)[The professor taught you the horizon was your eyes [[imagining|tripping]] a line where [[the heavens meet the earth]].
[[Keep it together, doofus.]]][A Silver '03 Toyota Camry LE.]<camry|
(click: ?camry)[There's [wear and tear]<tear| all over.] (click: ?tear)[[Mistakes]<mistakes| during cleaning.] (click: ?mistakes)[[Bumps]<bumps| some asshole made and never fessed up to.] (click: ?bumps)[Scratches from [[the cancer.|The inheritance you never asked for.]]
You spent a lot of [[time and money]] getting this old car [[fixed up]].]4 miserable years of your life and [you did it]<it|.
(click: ?it)[You graduated.]<grad|
(click: ?grad)[You got that fancy tech job and that [handsome paycheck]<pay|.]
(click: ?pay)[ [[Fuck buying a house.|fixed up]] ]Your friends all [[laughed]] at you for turning the family car into [[a racing machine]].
But they don't know. They don't understand [[the history]] you have with it.You did everything to make this car [racing ready]<ready|.
(click: ?ready)[New engine.]<new| (click: ?new)[Upgraded suspension.]<upgrade|
(click: ?upgrade)[You [even]<even| changed the layout into a FR's.]
(click: ?even)[All so you can drive [in solitude]<sol|.] (click: ?sol)[ [[In peace.|the horizon ahead]] ][You grew up in this car.]<grew| (click: ?grew)[It took you [everywhere]<everywhere|, from school to volunteering events.] (click: ?everywhere)[You cried in here.]<cry| (click: ?cry)[You daydreamed in here.]<dream| (click: ?dream)[You spent your childhood in [silence]<silence| in here.]
(click: ?silence)[And here it is, almost twenty years later, [all yours]<yours|.]
(click: ?yours)[ [[The inheritance you never asked for.]] ]Something was wrong on [the last day of school]<last|.
(click: ?last)[You and your friends were excited for [another summer]<another|.]
(click: ?another)[[Another chance]<chance| to forget about late night studying and anxiety over tests.]
(click: ?chance)[The wind in your hair,]<wind| (click: ?wind)[the setting sun's glow,]<sun| (click: ?sun)[the butterflies and migraines [floating away—]<float|](click: ?float)[Your heart promised they were [[forever]].][Speaking of teachers...]<teach|
(click: ?teach)[Remember your old [Chinese teacher]<chin|?]
(click: ?chin)[The hardcore Taiwanese lady with a rep for [no bullshit]<no| and god-level powers of perception?]
(click: ?no)[[[What do you remember from her class?|class]]]You see the road coming in at an angle. [Adjust the wheel.]<adjust|
(click: ?adjust)[Crisis adverted. Safety confirmed. [Good job]<job| Smokey.]
(click: ?job)[You can see [the horizon]<horizon| spreading out again.]
(click: ?horizon)[It's almost like you're trying to go [there]<there|.]
(click: ?there)[To the spot where the sky [[touches|taoism]] the ground.][Take a guess.]<guess|
(click: ?guess)[That's right!]<right|
(click: ?right)[You're a terrible child!]<child|
(click: ?child)[So much for [[filial piety]] you shameful excuse for an overgrown sperm cell.]But being a good child is [a whole other story]<story|.
(click: ?story)[This isn't about [you]<you|.]
(click: ?you)[This is about your [parents]<parents|.]
(click: ?parents)[This is about [[heaven and earth|taoism]].]It's [vague]<vague|(click: ?vague)[ and you might be wrong], but you remember this much from your old Chinese teacher.
They say [the sky]<sky|(click: ?sky)[(replace: ?sky)[天]] is the [father]<dad| and [the earth]<earth|(click: ?earth)[(replace: ?earth)[地]] is the [mother]<mom|.
(click: ?dad)[(set: $juxtaposition += 1)[(if: $juxtaposition is 8)[(show: ?woah)]]The sky is [distant]<distant|.](click: ?distant)[(set: $juxtaposition+=1)[(if: $juxtaposition is 8)[(show: ?woah)]][Untouchable]<untouch|.] (click: ?untouch)[(set: $juxtaposition += 1)[(if: $juxtaposition is 8)[(show: ?woah)]]You are [never meant]<never| to go there.] (click: ?never)[(set: $juxtaposition += 1)[(if: $juxtaposition is 8)[(show: ?woah)]]You receive its blessings and punishments when it sees fit.]
(click: ?mom)[(set: $juxtaposition += 1)[(if: $juxtaposition is 8)[(show: ?woah)]]The earth is [close]<close|.] (click: ?close)[(set: $juxtaposition += 1)[(if: $juxtaposition is 8)[(show: ?woah)]][Comforting]<comfort|.] (click: ?comfort)[(set: $juxtaposition += 1)[(if: $juxtaposition is 8)[(show: ?woah)]]You are born from the earth and [return to it]<return| upon death.] (click: ?return)[(set: $juxtaposition += 1)[(if: $juxtaposition is 8)[(show: ?woah)]]The earth nourishes you from itself and protects you.]
[ [[Keep driving.]] ](woah|[Who the fuck]<who| would be crazy enough to pimp out a Camry?
(click: ?who)[You.]<y| (click: ?y)[You are.]<o| (click: ?o)[And you did.]<u|
(click: ?u)[There were [only two years left]<two| on the damn thing.] (click: ?two)[Mom pulled some BS just to give it two more years before [the final smog check]<fin|.]
(click: ?fin)[So after buying it from her and revamping everything, [there it was]<there|.] (click: ?there)[Right in front of you.]<right| (click: ?right)[It's been with [you]<you| longer than anyone except your family.]
(click: ?you)[A piece of your [[personal history|the history]].]In the early evening light at home, Mom said [Dad wasn't there]<dad|.
(click: ?dad)[He was in [the hospital]<hospital|.]
(click: ?hospital)[A couple of years later, [he left]<left|.]
(click: ?left)[ [[Shut the fuck up and focus.|Keep it together, doofus.]] ]Your fancy-schmancy [<b>Cognitive Science Degree</b>™]<cog| confirms her words.
(click: ?cog)[Your eyes are indeed tripping balls because [your brain is tripping balls]<brain|.]
(click: ?brain)[Probably.]<prob| (click: ?prob)[You [stopped giving a shit]<stop| after awhile.]
(click: ?stop)[ [[Being tired all the time|time and money]] really got to you.]You were so lost in your thoughts you forgot to check your [surroundings]<surr|.
(click: ?surr)[It's dark, but you can still see the coastal dirt to the sides of the [road]<road|.]
(click: ?road)[The [lights]<lit| of occasional cars scream then drift away.]
(click: ?lit)[Above the sky is hazy because pollution doesn't let you [see]<see| the stars.]
(click: ?see)[And the sound of the engine growling over rubber bouncing on pavement [never stops]<stop|.]
(click: ?stop)[[[Look out the window.|look]]]You notice another light in the wing mirror.
Huh.
The color seems a bit... Off. Like a particular shade only your brain recognizes.
[[Wait a sec...|wing]]A quick glance reveals nothing but those lights. Must be one car.
[[Let them pass and see who they are.]]
[[Slam the gas. No one's better than you. Not again.]]You try slowing down, but the car only follows suit.
[[Switch lanes.]]With a forward press of your foot, your hips tingle with the force of the Camry breaking into [a faster state of being.]<succ|
(click:?succ)[Sucker.]<succ2|
(click: ?succ2)[ [[Check the rear-view mirror.]] ][The fuck is this shit.]<fak|
(click: ?fak)[The lights are gone.]<gone|
(click: ?gone)[Because out of the corner of your eye, you see them in the [side]<side|.]
(click: ?side)[Something tells you to just [mind your own business]<mind|.]
(click: ?mind)[But... [[Turn your head.]]][A silver paint job. Standard factory coating.]<coat|
(click: ?coat)[Scratches, dents, and bruises all over.]<dent|
(click: ?dent)[Decayed spots from cleaning.]<decay|
(click: ?decay)[An exact image.]<img|
(click: ?img)[ [[A Silver '03 Toyota Camry LE.]] ]Your cars line up. You see a vague outline of [someone familiar]<familiar|.
(click: ?familiar)[[No fucking way.]<noway|]
(click: ?noway)[In a sliver of time, you see the sun flash while the other Camry [speeds away]<away|.]
(click: ?away)[[Rotating]<rotate| within the Universe,] (click: ?rotate)[spring [arises]<arise|] (click: ?arise)[to [blossom]<blossom| into summer,] (click: ?blossom)[[growing]<growing| into fall] (click: ?growing)[to [fade]<fade| to winter] (click: ?fade)[and [awaken to spring]<awaken| once again.]
(click: ?awaken)[As spring [once again]<once| meets summer,] (click: ?once)[the heavens [once again]<onceagain| meet the earth.]
(click: ?onceagain)[And in the middle, [[you are born|Splash]].]The Camry shifts over some. With no discernible car sound right next to you, the car must be keeping pace.
[[Turn your head.]]