Ahh the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, you've got the biggest smile on your face..
Then, you wake up.
(text-style: "shudder") [*BEEP, BEEP, BEEP*] Your alarm is blaring and it has been for the past 40 minutes..
You knew better than to go to 3 dollar margarita night.
"Crap!!" you have 10 minutes to get ready and get out the door if you want to make it to work on time.
What are you doing first? [[Get dressed]] or [[Brush teeth]]
You hop out of bed and [[run]] to the closetYou hurry to the bathroom and reach for your toothpaste..
(text-style: "rumble") [*CRASHHHH*]... you knock off everything on your vanity, including your toothbrush.. Here in the heck is it?
You look over the side of your vanity and there it is... in the trash can... which is full of last nights margs and tacos.
Do you [[reach for the toothbrush]] or [[brush with your finger]]?(text-style: "expand") [*wAcK*] you bang your shin on the corner of your bed..
After letting out some rather innapropiate words, you get to your clothes, but..
You forgot to wash clothes last night because you were hammered, off to the [[hamper]] you go.You pull out what you wore yesterday, no one will notice.. Right?
Oh great there's something sticky on the shirt... *margarita mix*
You'll try to clean it on the way to work, but first you need to go to the [[kitchen]].Sticking your hand down in the trash can, you try to hold back what's left in your stomach.
After gaging for about 15 seconds, you decide to just [[throw it away]]
No, your teeth won't be as clean, but that's ok.
You put the toothpaste on your finger and started to brush.. oh no. That wasn't toothpaste.
You pick up the tube and it reads "Oxychloproben morphilix: Rash Cream for Dogs"
Your mouth is starting to burn, but you can't seem to spit it out.. Because now your mouth is numb and useless.
The only option to hold your mouth under the faucet and hope the running water gets it all out.
***
Once most of the cream is out, you head to the [[kitchen]], but you still can't feel your mouth.You toss it back in the trash can and wash your hands profusely.
You've lost time, so you run back to your room and pull wrinkly clothes from the hamper..
Throwing things on as fast as you can, you lose your balance and stub your toe.. Yup, there's blood, but that doesn't matter right now.
You put on your shoes and head to the [[kitchen]].You dash into the kitchen and grab a k-pod, stick it in your keugrig, then hit the button to make your coffee.
Uh-oh, it seems you forgot to put a cup down for the coffee to go into.
Make a ding dong move and [[cup your hands under the hot liquid]] or [[let the coffee spill everywhere]]"HOLY SHI...!!!" You scream to yourself.
Great, now your hands burn and picking up anything causes more pain.
*whatever...* You need to get on with your day.
Before dashing out the door you go to grab a piece of fruit from the basket on the counter.
What will you choose? [[Granny Smith Apple]] or [[Banana]]"Oh WONDERFUL..." you say. There's coffee everywhere... On the floor, counter, your pants, and shoes.
Not only are you probably going to be late for work, now your dirty clothes are covered in coffee stains.
To be honest.. your day is going to shit and I don't know if it's going to get any better.
*whatever*... you don't have time to sulk. You need to grab breakfest.
[[Granny Smith Apple]] or [[Banana]]Grabbing the apple, purse and what you thought were keys, you head out.
*locking the door behind you*
Running to your car, you go to unlock it... What the hell... These aren't your keys, they're freaking measuring spoons.
And the door is locked. Looks like you're going to be riding your bike to work.
Hopping on, you throw your purse around you and pop the apple in your mouth.
Biting into it, it taste strange... You take it out and what do you see.. MOLD and A WORM. Great, so not only is everything in the gosh darn world going wrong, but you just bit a worm in half.
Peddling as fast as you can while throwing the apple to the side, you keep telling yourself that it's going to be okay. But is it really? Probably not, but hey that's life sometimes.
You peddle so fast, not noticing a big mud puddle... I bet you can guess what happens next.
*mud splatters allllll over your legs*
At this point you might as well give up and go home... But you don't.
[[Keep peddling]]Grabbing the banana, purse and your keys, you head out.
Running to your car, you go to unlock it... What the hell... The window was down all night and it rained...
A stream of bad words flood out of your mouth. Welp, you're just going to have to suck it up and sit on a soaked seat.
*squish, squish*
It feels like you're sitting in thick mud, this is going to be fun.
You start driving and a tear falls down your face. You contemplate turning around and calling in sick, but you decide to not.
[[Keep driving]]You're peddling as fast and hard as you can, breaking a sweat.
Maybe if they noticed that even though you woke up late and had all of these bad things happen, and still came in, they'll give you a promotion. Or at least an office that's not a broom closet.
You know, it's going to be okay...
You start to sing a song at the top of your lungs.
[[Eye of the Tiger]] or [[Whatever It Takes]]You're speeding down the road, determined to get to work.
They'll see your hard work and want to praise you, I promise.
I mean... They'll notice that you went through hell to get here and want to do something about that, right?
Doesn't matter, you're going to get there and it'll be okay.
You start to sing at the top of your lungs.
[[Fighter]] or [[Whatever It Takes]]"Went the distance now I'm back on my feet, just a man and his will to survive.."
For a second everything seems like it's going to be okay. You start to gain hope that work will understand why you look like a sewer rat and your breath smells like insects.
"It's the Eye of the Tigerrrr, it's the thrill of the fighttttt"
At this point your standing up on your pedals, yelling the lyrics, tears streaming down your face.
You're about to be in front of your work, when you a hit a small puddle, only it wasn't a small puddle. It was a hole full of water.
Your front tire goes in and you go flying.
Your body is soaring through the sky.. **in slow motion of course**
You hit the pavement so hard you think you broke something. Pushing yourself off of the ground, you notice you're covered in scrapes that are bleeding. You really are over this freaking day.
Mud on you pants, blood on your shirt, sweat dripping down your face, you stumble up to the front door of your work.
[[Open up the door]]For a second everything seems like it's going to be okay. You start to gain hope that work will understand why you look like a bed bug and your breath smells like old socks.
"'Cause it makes me that much stronger, makes me work a little bit harder"
At this point your hands are in the air, yelling the lyrics, tears streaming down your face.
"Makes me that much smarter, so thanks for making me a fighter"
You're about to be in front of your work, when you a hit a small puddle, only it wasn't a small puddle. It was a pot hole the size of Jupiter.
Your front tires goes in and the air bag comes out.
Your face is being smushed.. **in slow motion of course**
You push the airbag down and step out of your car. You are really over the freaking day.
You smell like a wet dog, hair is a mess, your face hurts, you stumble up to the front door of your work.
[[Open up the door]]For a second everything seems like it's going to be okay. You start to gain hope that work will understand why you look like a moldy hamburger and your clothes smell like expired margarita mix.
"Falling too fast to prepare for this, tripping in the world could be dangerous"
At this point you're feeling good, smile on your face, heart beating fast.
"'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins, I do whatever it takessss"
You pull up to your work, fix yourself, and run up the stairs with your exercise face on (**in slow motion of course**) and it's not pretty.
[[Open up the door]]*Hold up, hold up*
Did I mention, there were two ways you could've ran up to the front door.
1. [[Skipping every other stair and falling when you get to the top]]
2. [[Up the ramp, making your legs burn]]
Now you [[open up]] the door...You walk in and security tackles you...
"Hey man, get off me!!" you scream while kicking your legs.
The big man picks you up and you realize that "oh shit" you had been fired.
The whole reason you went out to drink was because you lost your job... You might've accidentaly thrown a stapler at a co-worker, but in your defense, there was a sticky note on your pudding... I mean yeah it fell off, but they shouldn't have ate it anyway.
"My apologies.. I forgot tha-"
"9-1-1, yeah we need you to come up and arrest the person we called about yesterday."
<img src="https://media1.tenor.com/images/731ae345a456b6b06495f1e121bdf72a/tenor.gif?itemid=12101872" width="500" height="300" alt="Two foxes">**mid-thought** Ya know, you really are a good worker, because anyone else would have called in sick, but not you.
You give yourself a little smirk and mental pat on the back..
In doing so you [[Stumble in]], [[Swing the door open]], [[Trip (you are very clumsy) and hit the door]]**All eyes are on you**
"What's up Karen" you say to one of your co-work... oh yeah, ex co-worker.
You quit yesterday, because you got a job offer for something better and that's why you went out.. To celebrate. Ya, no one was really happy with you.
*This is akward*
After many glares and whispers, you walk up to the front desk and try to say sorry to Karen (who no one really likes, so you know it's bad if she's the one who hates you).
She just points to the front door and you slowly make your way out.
Walking down the steps you start to laugh at yourself then stop..
Your mouth drops open.. You do have a new job you know, in the other direction. Which by now you're 55 minutes late for.
"Mother...!!!"
<img src="https://thumbs.gfycat.com/QuestionableInfatuatedFlyingfox-size_restricted.gif" width="500" height="300" alt="Two foxes">"To be honest, I'm kind of over my life right now"
You get up and push the door. It doesn't budge...
(text-style: "smear") [Ahaha]... It's Saturday...
<img src="https://media.tenor.com/images/fc320ef546ddac5b620bd9390c76fcd5/tenor.gif" width="500" height="300" alt="Two foxes">Now you [[open up]] the door...
↶↷Ahh the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, you've got the biggest smile on your face..
Then, you wake up.
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP Your alarm is blaring and it has been for the past 40 minutes..
You knew better than to go to 3 dollar margarita night.
"Crap!!" you have 10 minutes to get ready and get out the door if you want to make it to work on time.
What are you doing first? Get dressed or Brush teeth