//''Tony Hawk's Pro Shopper''//
► [[Career Mode]]
► [[Free Skate]]
(display: "contest")(set: $trick to (random: 1,2))(if: $trick is 1)[(either:"180", "360", "540", "720", "900", "1080", "666" ," 420"," 5-0"," 50-50") (either:"Shuvit", "Varial", "Inward", "Degree", "Dark", "Dragon", "Foot", "Rocket", "Indy", "Front", "Back", "Double", "Bigspin", "Christ", "Japan", "Judo", "Method", "Roastbeef", "Sack", "TV", "Monster", "Impossible", "Disaster", "Casper", "Stink", "Surrender", "Hand") (either: "Flip", "Kickflip", "Rewind", "Grind", "McTwist", "Backflip", "Frontflip", "Handplant", "Wallride", "Air", "Boardslide", "Madonna", "Frontslide", "Backslide", "Slide", "Trick", "Ollie", "Aerial", "Nosegrab", "Grab", "Tap", "Sidewinder", "Drag") (either: "Alpha", "Beta", "Omega", "Smith", "Indy", "Impossible", "Boned", "Air", "Pop", "Twist", "Wrap", "Comply", "Melancholy", "Jar", "Switch", "Plant", "Gazelle", "Pogo", "Snap", "Wheelie", "Old School", "Boneless")](else-if: $trick is 2)[(either: "Impossible", "Front", "Back", "Double", "Dark", "Dragon", "Indy", "Benihana", "Stalefish", "The", "Shove", "Primo", "Judo", "Christ", "Casper", "Burn", "Dolphin", "Murder", "Hospital", "Twisted", "Big", "Bigger", "Biggest", "Under", "Over", "Inward", "Nollie", "Merlin", "Semi", "Fakie", "Candy", "Anti", "Old School", "Walk") (either: "900", "To", "The", "Flat", "Lip", "Lay", "Nose", "Board", "Rail", "Blunt", "Stink", "Godzilla", "Space", "Japan", "Varial", "Ollie", "Christ", "Rocket", "Indy", "Bigspin", "Inward", "Unward", "Laser", "Hard", "Diamond", "Heel", "Kick", "Under", "Handstand", "Storm", "Power", "Push", "Crooked", "Salad", "Hurricane", "Caveman", "Body", "Coffin") (either: "Flip", "Slide", "Dog", "Indy", "Rail", "Grind", "Drag", "Overturn", "Freestyle", "Blunt", "Up", "Spin", "Bug", "Walk", "Turn", "Ollie", "Disaster", "Stand", "Plant", "Wheelie", "McTwist", "Air", "Pop", "Ride", "Indy", "Rewind", "Thumpin", "Madonna", "Mute")](display: "Skateboard")
[[Do another trick->Free Skate]]
[[Main Menu]]You are [[Tony Hawk]], pro-skateboarder, video game character, and emoji designer.
As much you would love to be grinding the rails of a half-pipe right now, you have a way more pressing matter to attend.
(click: "more pressing matter")[[[Grocery shopping->Keys]].]Before you can head out, you need to grab your things. (set: $key to 0)
► Wallet
(click-replace: "Wallet")[You grab your wallet from the (either: "limousine closet", "Olympic-size money pool", "skateboard ranch"). (set: $key to it +1)]
► Keys
(click-replace: "Keys")[You grab your keys from your (either: "in-home movie theatre", "trophy gallery", "perpetual Blink-182 performance"). (set: $key to it +1)]
► Skateboard
(click-replace: "Skateboard")[You grab your skateboard from its (either: "solid gold pedestal", "cryogenic freeze", "hyperbolic time chamber"). (set: $key to it +1)]
Did I remember everything? (click:"everything")[(if: $key is 3)[(show:?leave)](else:)[I forgot something. (click-goto:"something", 'Keys')]]
|leave)[You perform a (display: "Skateboard") as you head to [[your car]].](set:$carColor to (either:"red hot", "neon green", "vantablack"))(set:$carType to (either:"Ferrari", "Lamborghini", "Rolls Royce", "Prius"))(set:$carFeature to (either:"no cupholders", "a giant skateboard", "lots of bumper stickers", "LED underglow"))You do a (display: "Skateboard") as you launch through your open car window into the driver's seat.
Of course, you drive a $carColor $carType with $carFeature.
You start the $carType and get on [[the road]].Your $carType roars down the highway toward the grocery store, catching attention with its $carColor sheen.
(click:"roars down the highway")[You whip out your skateboard and perform a (display: "Skateboard") flawlessly [[while driving->parking lot]].]You pull into an empty parking space in front of the grocery store. Onlookers are jealous of your sweet ride with $carFeature, even though you're certain no one recognizes you as famous award-winning pro-skater Tony Hawk. You grab a cart with a (display: "Skateboard").
[[Enter the store->grocery store]].Despite being Tony "The Birdman" Hawk, who was a household name in the mid eighties to late nineties, no one ever recognizes you.
Your face is pretty forgettable for the 1st place winner of the $contest.
Frequently, you get comments like "(cycling-link: "You look kinda like Tony Hawk.", "You famous?", "Have we met before?", "Hawk? You have the same name as Tony Hawk.", "You're not that recognizable.", "You ever get mistaken for Tony Hawk?", "I wonder what Tony Hawk is up to these days", "Oh, you look like that skateboarder.", "Tom Brady? Is that you?")" You wish someone would recognize you, just this once.
(link-undo:"Back")You have a grocery list to take care of before you can check out. (set: $key to 0)
► Eggs
(click-replace: "Eggs")[You pick up some eggs from (either: "the dairy aisle", "someone else's cart", "the coupon warlock"). (set: $key to it +1)]
► Milk
(click-replace: "Milk")[You pick up some milk from (either: "the dairy aisle", "a stranger's hands", "the discount rack"). (set: $key to it +1)]
► Microwave Pizza
(click-replace: "Microwave Pizza")[You pick up a microwave pizza from (either: "the dairy aisle", "the ground", "the restroom"). (set: $key to it +1)]
Did I remember everything? (click:"everything")[(if: $key is 3)[(show:?leave)](else:)[I forgot something. (click-goto:"something", 'grocery store')]]
|leave)[You perform a trick as you head to the [[register]].]
(click-replace: "trick")[(text-style: "rumble")[(either: (display: "Skateboard"), "wipeout")]]
(set:$lane to (either:"1", "10", "69"))(set: $contest to (either:"1983 ","1987 ","1991 ","1995 ","1999 ","2002 " , "2020 ") + (either: "X Games ", "X Trials ", "Titus ", "Capitol Burnout ", "Ramp N' Rage ", "Wheels for Wishes ", "Hard Rock Cafe ") + (either: "Old School ", "Pro ", "Street Style ", "World Cup ") + (either: "Contest", "Championship", "Ramp Jam", "Finals", "Skate Fest", "Nationals", "Expo", "Ramp Riot II", "Festival"))You slowly approach the line of the $lane Items or Less register. The landing on that last trick was a little rough. You can tell people are [[looking at you->nerves]], although you're certain none of them recognize you. You pull off a (display: "Skateboard") while no one is paying attention and [[move forward in line->Checkout]].It's not bad that people think you're a regular guy. It's fine. In fact, most people are regular guys. You're just a regular guy who drives a $carColor $carType with $carFeature.
(click: "It's fine.")[What's the cashier going to say? You dwell on it for a moment, thinking about all the usual comments.
(click:"dwell on it")["(cycling-link: "You look kinda like Tony Hawk.", "You famous?", "Have we met before?", "Hawk? You have the same name as Tony Hawk.", "You're not that recognizable.", "You ever get mistaken for Tony Hawk?", "I wonder what Tony Hawk is up to these days", "Oh, you look like that skateboarder.", "Tom Brady? Is that you?")"]
(click:"usual comments")[You get so caught up in worrying you have to imagine your favorite trick, a (display: "Skateboard"), just to (link-undo:"calm down").]](text-style: "blink")[beep]
(t8n:"dissolve") + (t8n-time: 25s)[You try not to look her in the eyes.]
(click: "in the eyes")[You're not typically shy. It's just that in moments like this, the tension builds. Is she going to almost, sort of recognize you, but ultimately not realize who you are?]
(click: "recognize you")[She looks at your face quizically for a moment. She's about to [[speak->cashier]].]This is it, she's gonna say it. You scramble to think of a witty response so that you can (either:"get the upper hand.", "tweet about it to deflect your feelings.", "leave a tiny fraction of an impression.")
(click: "say it")["Aren't you the 1st place winner of the $contest, Tony Hawk, aka The Birdman?"]
(click: "Tony Hawk")[You would cry right now if you weren't so surprised. You stutter out a response, "(cycling-link: "Yeah, that's me.", "Ha, how'd you recognize me?", "Wow, you noticed?", "That's my name, don't wear it out.", "Uhh... ummm...", "Thank God!")"]
(click: "a response")[She asks you perform a (display: "Skateboard") on the spot and you do, perfectly. Everyone at the checkout lanes erupts into applause. You bow and take your [[leave]].]You head over to your $carColor $carType, put the groceries in the (either: "trunk", "backseat", "secret compartment", "engine") and dive through the window with a giddy (display: "Skateboard").
You know? It's been a [[pretty good day->end]].Hope you had a good day, Tony Hawk.
//''Tony Hawk's Pro Shopper''// ''by Karin Malady''
twitter
(click: "twitter")[(open-url: "https://twitter.com/SweetNAwful")]
itch.io
(click: "itch.io")[(open-url: "https://karinmalady.itch.io")]
ko.fi
(click: "ko.fi")[(open-url: "https://ko-fi.com/karinmalady")]
Main Menu
(click:"Main Menu")[(reload:)]
↶↷Tony Hawk's Pro Shopper
► Career Mode
► Free Skate