There were only two types cases Jack Smokesteel, Steampunk Anime Paranormal Investigator, would not take. Anything taking place in a county that didn't have [[pocky]] and Anyplace too far from a steady supply of coals for his steam power robot [[hand]].When the robot stepped into his office, Jack Smokesteel was initial skeptical. Most robots didn't have money, and those that did would spend it on [[coal and oil]]. This robot was dressed as a Victorian gentlemen and had a jerking gait of one who had fought in the Steam Laser [[Wars]]."Watch the mechanical [[cat]] and step into my office" Jack Smokesteel called to the robot as he poured two guilder tumblers, one full of oil and the other sake. "Why thank you sir" the robot clanked like a biplane engine, "My viscosity thanks you." Jack nodded and took a sip of his sake. Unfiltered, like his [[life]]. The robot took out a handkerchief made of pressed steel and wiped it across his brow. It made a scrapping noise like a piece of steel being drawn across a metal head. "I have a case for you Jack Smokesteel, I hear your the [[best]] anime steampunk private detective and my algorithm demands that I optimize this task." Jack Smokesteel grunted. He was the best but he had been getting tired lately. One more case. From the cut the robot, it looked like the price was [[right]]."The Steampunk Duchess of Japan will be visiting the [[London Museum of Anime]]. The museum that I am the robot director of. Last night our finest wall scroll was stolen!" Jack was intrigued. Who would have the daring to steal from the London Museum of Anime, let alone from its prized wallscroll collection. "Even worse" continued the robot "The wall scroll is of Rei Osaka" "You mean the waifu of the Prime Minister has been taken!" Jack was galled by the [[audacity]].Rei Osaka was a model waifu. She appeared in the ongoing anime "[[Steam x Lady]]" and was a refined shapely 3000 year old steam dragon caught in the body of a 16 year old first year high school student. Jack Smokesteel was familiar with the show, as was the rest of Steampunk London's high anime society. It was quite a ceremony at Canterbury chapel when the prime minister declared his love for Rei Osaka and they became man and [[waifu]].Jack slugged the remaining sake "My price is steap, 100 Smoke pounds a day plus expenses." The robot would have balked at the price if [[robots had emotion]]. Instead it sputtered a bit and deposited 1000 Smoke pounds on Jack Smokesteel's desk. "I hope you can be discreet about this, it won't do if every urchin and ragamuffin knows that the prime minister's waifu is [[missing]]"Jack pushed the Smoke pounds into his safe, next to his rare manga. "I'm on the case. I'll send you a telegram as soon as I find Rei Osaka." The robot turned to leave his office. "My thought engrams go to you Jack Smokesteel, for if you do not find her before the Steampunk Duchess arrives, I would be throughly embarrassed, if robots were capable of emotions." The door closed with the sound like a piece of wood sliding into a [[doorframe]]. Jack Smokesteel hit the steamy streets of Steampunk London. Steampunk London had survived the [[Steam Laser War]], but it had been irreversible changed by the steam and lasers. Jack hired a steam powered laser cab "Take me to Broken Pipe Maid [[Cafe]]"The Broken Pipe Maid Cafe was the cutest back alley scum hole in Steampunk London. Two toughs, girls dressed as cute maids, with big bright ribbons and fluffy impractical skirts, manned the door. As Jack made for the door, one put her small delicate hand on his chest "Hold up there Smokesteel-kun" the maid said in an intimidating voice that could only belong to an energetic 13 year old girl "Do you have Risa-chan's [[money]]?"Jack Smokesteel knew this was coming. He discreetly yanked the pull start on his coal fired hand. He hoped no one would hear the massive coal powered engine. The maids gave no indication that they did. "I've got Risa-chan's money right here!" Jack Smokesteel pointed his coal powered hand at one of the maids and she barely dodged the dozen lasers the shot out of it. The lasers continued past, exploding the wall behind, the shockwave making everyone's hair and clothes look really [[cool]] for a [[moment]].The maid was also a veteran of the Steampunk Laser war, as under her gloves ripped out two prosthetic hands made out of lasers. One of them turned into a laser whip, The other hand a steam Uzi. The other maid yelled loudly and turned into a [[coal powered penny farthing]]. The maid with laser hands finished her dodge on top of the maid penny farthing. It was at that moment Jack Smokesteel knew he was in for a [[fight]].The maid reared up on her tiny back wheel, leaving the large front wheel free to grow daggers of steam under high pressure. "We're gonna fuck you up Smokesteel-baka". Jack Smokesteel manifested a [[laser dragon wearing a top hat]] from his laser manifestation unit on his hand "Not of drag-in you first" Jack Smokesteel was known for his razor wit. The dragon with a top hot screamed forward, dodging in between the spokes of the penny farthing. The maid fired countless missiles, both of the laser and steam variety at the dragon. However Jack Smokesteel was too [[clever]].The maid distracted by the behatted dragon, enabled Jack Smokesteel to execute a mighty leg maneuver, kicking over the penny farthing. A marvel of [[contemporary steam engineering]], but still vulnerable to the awesome power of Jack Smokesteel. The maid/penny farthing crashed on top of the maid with laser hands. In a poof of steam and lasers, both could be seen to be knocked [[out]].Jack Smokesteel sauntered into the Broken Pipe Maid Cafe. [[Risa]], owner and possessor of one of the seven Primordial Ægeis, was waiting there for him. "Jack Smokesteel you idiot!" "Idiot or Genius?" retorted Jack masterful. "Jack you may be a genius but that doesn't explain why your here" Risa said [[desperately]]."I'm here because you stole the prime ministers waifu!" Jack Smokesteel accused with smoke and steel in his voice. Risa was so taken back by this accusation she fell against the wall, knocking over a steam painting of a [[corgi]]. Behind the painting the missing wall scroll of Rei Osaka was [[hung]]!"Curse your handsome face Jack Smokesteel!" Risa screamed as she flew at Jack with the fury of one possessing one of the Primal Ægeis. Even Jack Smokesteel could only just dodge such a powerful attack, which he did with grace and aplomb. "My turn!" "Dire Coal! Enter the steam of my [[rage|true]]!!!" Jack Smokesteel's hand transformed into a biomechanical gilded gun, inlaid with sacred runes and a pictogram of The Secret First Conflict. Power flowed through him and around him, lighting the maid cafe with a demonic light. "Perfect Steam!!!!!" The resulting beams broke apart the reality of surrounding mortar and steam pipes. It struck Risa strait and [[true]].Risa was knocked unconscious by the blow. Satisfied he had meted out justice, steampunk anime style, Jack Smokesteel stepped over her unconscious body and took Risa Osaka off the wall. The robot curator would be pleased, if it had emotions. The Steampunk Duchess would not be disappointed. The prime minister would have his waifu back. Not a bad days work for Jack Smokesteel, Steampunk Anime Paranormal Investigator.Pocky comes in two types, male and female. Male pocky tends to be bitter and coffee flavored. Female pocky is generally chocolate and sweet. Both can be eaten by either gender, but the English Laser Trading Company spends hundreds of Steam Pounds marketing pocky this way. "Men's Pocky: Better with Coal Whiskey" is one marketing campaign, while the other shows posh ladies in kimonos and couture dresses with big fluffy hats with goggles on them laughing together. Jack Smokesteel preferred the third, secret style of pocky, kappa pocky, turtle [[flavored|hand]].In the 17th century, the demand for Robotic made goods rose in Europe and Steampunk England in particular. English merchants wanted manga drawn from with the precision of robot hands. However, Robota, homeland of the robots contained no oxygen, limiting Steampunk English traders from reaching the interior of the country. Steam pounds were flowing int Robota, but not coming out. Then a plucky, goggle-wearing scientist, Lady Mandy of VisCount discovered that robots craved coal, especially if it was soaked in oil. The trade balance has started to shift back towards Steampunk England, leaving rumblings and crankings of war on Robota shores, but for now their is an uneasy [[peace|Wars]].Non-mechanical cats were extinct, replaced by the upgraded models. True the cat-girls still existed in a non-mechanical and mechanical fashion and Jack Smokesteel had fought a cat ghost the other week. Such is the hustle and bustle of Steampunk [[London|life]]Jack Smokesteel had a reputation for being the best steampunk anime paranormal investigator. The only time he had ever been bested was by a time traveler. It was later revealed to be himself. His record was [[perfect|right]].Separate and distinct from the London Museum of Manga.Steam x Lady or by its full proper title 女性のキスは蒸し暑いです, "Josei no kisu wa mushiatsuidesu" follows the adventures of a average protagonist who finds himself enrolled in a school filled with several cute school girls who are not who they seem to be. An alien, a living steamcloud, a 3000 year old dragon, a robot, a half robot, a maid, a kappa, a collection of mice standing on each other, a collection of frogs standing on each other, sentient butter, a roc, an elephant, a silver colloid, a living statue, the queen of America, a magus, and a middle school girl. All of them competing for the affection of the perfectly ordinary [[protagonist|waifu]]Robots were known for suppressing their emotions using a technique taught to them in early childhood. A robot that "lost it's steam" quickly becomes embarrassed at feeling embarrassed. This results in a feedback loop, generally overloading the robot's emotion chip, and removing any emotion the robot might have [[felt|missing]]The Steam Laser War was a world wide conflict, primarily fought in dirigible. Laser had just been discovered, mined out of an ancient civilization that once stood astride Antarctic, but suddenly vanished in to the steam of history. Lasers, when applied to water, produce steam, which can be used to power even more lasers. This perpetual motion led to breakthroughs in many areas, but also conflict, as every two steam dictator and ruffian tried to carve out their place in the world. Jack Smokesteel fought in the Steam Laser War, which is how he lost his arm. Jack Smokesteel was so tough that he wore out his old arm while fighting, so he had it replaced with a more efficient mechanical [[one|doorframe]]. In Steampunk London there are naturally many pipes and vents that blow steam every which way. The fashion of late is to take advantage of this, with the finest anime tailors designing clothing that looks good when blown by steam or explosions. Clothiers will often have tiny explosions in their dressing rooms so their clientele can properly see how the clothes [[fit|moment]]. Volocipede had come into style lately. It was a popular youth body modification to be able to transform into a boneshaker. Some of the more impetuous attached motors and formed crowds of ruffians, dressing in similar costumed style, terrorizing the highways of Steampunk London at [[night|fight]].All laser manifestations wore top hats. Many laser scientists were initially puzzled by this until the brilliant Edgar Beauregard discovered that all laser manifestations were gentlemen and it would be unseemly for them to appear without a top [[hat|clever]].British steam engineering was second only the the Nipon laser engineering, but this was subject to much debate in the brew pubs and sake houses of Steam [[London|out]].Risa was born to Japanese parent but raised by her English mother and Robot father. Risa rose to prominence as a loan shark, quickly tearing through Steampunk London's underworld like a hot laser through steam. She opened several maid cafes, employing only Steampunk London's toughest and cutest maids. Many of them had cat ears as [[well|desperately]]. Corgis are the only dogs to survive the Steam Laser Wars. Many of them are hyper-intelligent. None of them talk [[though|hung]].hello