Thanks for playing Connected Kit Episode 4! Please remember to send me your play data!\n\nYour stats this time around:\nYour 'polite' score was <<$polite>>.\nYour 'professional' score was <<$professional>>.\nYour 'mercenary' score was <<$mercenary>>.\nYou <<if $kneel is true>>kneeled<<else>>refused to kneel<<endif>> for Lord Rhys.\n\nMy [[Patreon|http://patreon.com/inurashii]] subscribers averaged to the following scores:\nPolite: 8\nProfessional: 4.5\nMercenary: 1\nThey all kneeled for Lord Rhys.\n\nFrom here you can go to:\n[[The Previous Episode|kit-episode-3.html]]\n[[The Next Episode|kit-episode-4.html]]\n[[The Episode Index|index.html]]

I clear my throat. "Ah," I say. "Um."\n\nGerund turns back. "Hm? Why are you hesitating?"\n\n"What are we walking on?" I ask.\n\nGerund huffs. "Quit fooling. I know humans have invisible bridges, because I watched the documentary about the whip and hat man who likes stealing."\n\n"Invisible bridge. Right," I mutter. I slowly lift one foot and set it down in front of me. The empty air seems solid enough, so I shift my weight. Foole titters behind me, and I shoot her a glare.\n\n"Connected Kit Calhoun, we have a schedule to be following!" Gerund shouts, walking toward the castle.\n\n"Our host would rather not be tarried / Would Kit prefer that she be carried?" Foole grins and holds out both hands.\n\nSetting my jaw, I [[stride forward over the empty air|The Rear Gate]].

"Ever the worker, professional consummate\nFix'd thine eyes forward whilst dragged by the pants\nAll have a story, no matter how obstinate\nIn here, not even chance happens by chance."\n\nI squint. "What's that supposed to mean?"\n\nFoole winks.\n\nI sigh.\n\n[[We wait]].

//Last time, on Connected Kit...//\n\nThe party approaches the soft-looking black substance. I lag behind a bit, waiting to see what Gerund will do.\n\nHe doesn't slow at all, striding through the fog and vanishing from view. I sigh, realizing that I am expected to do the same with no idea what's on the other side.\n\nLast in line, Foole does not pass me, but puts strong hands on my shoulders and pushes me through the great curtain.\n\nI am blinded for a moment by daylight, but when my eyes adjust, [[I gasp at what I see...|Behold the Castle]]

Gerund opens a tiny door in the side of the hall and exits through it, and the Hunters follow suit, looking extremely relieved to be leaving the confines of the hallway.\n\nI sigh and turn to the side, leaning against the wall. Foole folds herself into a sitting position and looks up at me, smiling. "Regret the job yet, our mundane new pet?"\n* [["Depends on the pay."|The Job][$mercenary += 2]]\n* [["I just want to get to work."|The Job][$professional += 2]]\n* [["No, I'm sure it will be fine."|Doubts][$polite +=2]]\n* [["This is all a test, isn't it."|Doubts][$polite += 1; $professional += 1]]\n* [["A little."|Doubts]]

Before me stands a golden castle, huge shining walls nearly blotting out the powder-blue sky. Even standing behind it, the structure is magnificent, with twisting spires that almost appear to have grown organically from the inner walls.\n\nThe front of the castle seems to face a uniform meadow that goes all the way to the horizon, but on all other sides there is a great mountain range rising up from a wide circular moat.\n\nWe emerged from a spot on the mountain range, and I turn to see nothing but smooth brown rock. I look down and see ... nothing.\n\nThe only thing between my feet and the dark water fifty feet below us is air.\n\n[[Don't panic.|Walking on sunshine]]

I keep walking toward the wall of the castle, following the Hunters and Gerund. Foole, for whatever reason, decides to stay close, glancing toward me periodically and wearing a shit-eating grin.\n\nWhen Gerund reaches the end of the invisible walkway, he leans in and seems to talk to it for a moment. There's a loud grinding noise and it parts in the center, a hole twice my height forming a wide doorway.\n\n<<set $mercenary to 0>><<set $polite to 0>><<set $professional to 0>>Gerund turns to face me as I approach and fixes a suspicious stare up at me. "Before your audience with the Most Ineffable Lord Rhys," he warns, "There are courtly protocols you will be expected to be following."\n* [["Of course. Please let me know what I should know in advance."|Briefing][$polite += 2]]\n* [["Ok. Brief me."|Briefing][$professional += 2]]\n* [["Do you want me to do this job or not?"|Sputtering][$mercenary += 2]]

A few minutes later, Gerund pokes his head through the door.\n\n"Everything is ready for you to be entering. Until told otherwise, come stand between the Hunters and do nothing."\n\nI right myself and walk through the door, grateful to be out of the tight passage.\n\nFor a moment, I'm stunned into inaction by the grandeur of the hall. It looks like a palace from out of the movies: mirror-shined white stone floor and textured walls covered in a long, plush red carpet. Great pillars that stretch to a vaulted, cathedral-like ceiling. \n\nOn each side of the hall are bleachers filled with strange creatures of all sizes, nearly all of whom are staring at me as they murmur to each other.\n\nFoole nudges me from behind, and I walk toward my [[audience]].

"Ok, Gerund. Get this crowd outta here," I wave at the gathered onlookers. "Get me the people who have something to say about this and give me a few minutes to look over the scene."\n\nGerund nods at the hat man, and the faeries who look most like guards begin to usher the milling crowd out of the banquet hall.\n\nI take a deep breath and let out a sigh, rub my face, and then look up at the cartoonish corpse on the table with the very un-cartoonish wound.\n\nI've got my work cut out for me.\n\n[[End of Episode 4]]

When in Rome, I guess. This is a room full of people with wings, tails, horns, and heaven only knows what else; I'm not inclined to try to explain to them why it's a little awkward for a light-skinned rich guy to ask a black woman to kneel.\n\nStill, I have to hold in a grimace as I drop to one knee between the hunters. It's gonna be easier on me if I play nice with the locals, but that doesn't make kneeling easy for me.\n\nThe murmuring and staring continue from the sidelines, and I can't help but wonder if they expected me to refuse. After a moment, Lord Rhys nods and sits back down. The Hunters rise and I do so with them.\n\n"The Most Ineffable Lord Rhys," the man with the strange hat announces, "Has summoned you here for a commission!"\n\nI nod and wait for details about [[the job]].

"Yes, yes," Gerund gives a dismissive wave. "Details of your payment are forthcoming. Is everything else understood?"\n\n* [["Certainly, thank you."|The Back Hall][$polite += 1]]\n* [["Yes, understood."|The Back Hall][$professional += 1]]\n* [["Sure, whatever, long as I'm getting paid."|The Back Hall][$mercenary += 1]]

"We are stopping." And we do.\n\nGerund whirls and tries to give me an authoritative look, but the passage is so narrow that the hunters are in the way and all I see is part of his pose. He gestures for them to lift their arms. They do, and he peers under them.\n\n"The Hunter Twins and I will announce your arrival for the meeting," he says. "Wait here until we are returning."\n\n* [["In this tunnel? Oh, hell no."|Waiting Hall][$mercenary += 2]]\n* [["Gerund, where I come from we don't leave guests in narrow passageways."|Waiting Hall][$professional += 2]]\n* [["Could I please wait somewhere a little less cramped?"|Waiting Hall][$polite += 1]]\n* [["... ok."|Waiting Waiting Waiting][$polite += 2]]

"Solving a mystery in the mortal realm isn't, like, an ability that you invoke," I explain. "It's a process. It's about looking at facts and circumstances and puzzle-solving. It's not something I can do on command."\n\nThe gathered faeries murmur amongst themselves.\n\nGerund looks concerned. "What are you saying?"\n\n"What I'm saying is that I need time. I have to examine the crime scene, I have to interview witnesses and suspects. I can do this for you, but it's not a trick I can do in front of an audience."\n\n"Oh," Gerund looks crestfallen, and too embarrassed to be angry. "Well ... what do you need to begin investigating?"\n\n[[I look around and think for a moment.|Prep]]

"'Tis a bit of doubt, I see, and there's no shame within it.\nA farce as great as this would surely baffle anyone.\nBut will it abate? Mais non, you'll lose more ere you win it --\nThe gross misunderstandings, dear, have only just begun."\n\nI rest my head against the wall. "Great."\n\n[[We wait]].

Connected Kit Yanked into the Faerie Court: Episode 4

"Sorry, but nothing doing," Gerund replies, nose in the air. "Guest or no, allowing you to meet The Most Ineffable Lord Rhys without being properly announced is a prospect most galling. Foole will wait here with you; the Hunters and I will be going."\n\n[[I sigh.|Waiting Waiting Waiting]]

The back entrance to the castle is significantly less flashy than its exterior; instead of the shiny gold veneer, the tall hallway is lined in grey stone.\n\n"This way in, so drab and lonely," Foole says with an exaggerated frown. "Color is for nobles only."\n\nWe reach the end of the corridor and turn left, into a smaller and narrower passageway, though it's still wide enough for the Hunters to walk shoulder to shoulder.\n\nWe take another turn, and then another. The hallways get steadily smaller, with lower ceilings and closer walls. After a few turns, we're walking single file and Foole and the Hunters have to walk with their heads bent to fit.\n\nI'm feeling claustrophobic. [[I'm about to speak up, but Gerund does first.|Wait here]]

The man in the hat clears his throat. "A murder most foul has plagued our court! Due to its nature, we must ask for the help of someone versed in the mortal lands. And you have been chosen, Connected Kit!"\n* [["I'm honored to help. Tell me more."|Reward][$polite += 2]]\n* [["Thank you, but I need to know more before I accept."|Reward][$professional += 2]]\n* [["Maybe. What's the pay?"|Reward][$mercenary += 2]]

"When you are introduced to Lord Rhys," Gerund says, "You are to be kneeling. Until you are asked a question, you will refrain from speaking."\n\n"Courtly stuff, ok," I reply.\n\n"Then you will be escorted to the scene of the killing. You will do your detecting, and then to your world will you be returning."\n* [["I'm not doing shit until I know what I'm getting paid."|Fuck You Pay Me][$mercenary += 2]]\n* [["I assume that drawing up a contract goes somewhere in there."|Fuck You Pay Me][$professional += 2]]\n* [["Understood." I'll work out the countract later.|The Back Hall][$polite += 2]]

"For assisting us in this endeavor," Hat man continues. If he is responding to what you said, it's not clear; it sounds like he's reading from a script. "The Faerie Court will grant you one boon. Or, as we are told mortals call it, a wish."\n\n"A wish?" I ask, taken aback.\n\nThe hat man hesitates, glancing briefly at Lord Rhys. "A wish!" He repeats.\n\n"I don't know what that means," I say, shaking my head.\n\nGerund pipes up. "It means that you will be given any one thing you are desiring!"\n\n"Can it be anything?" I ask, a bit suspicious. "Like, anything at all?"\n\n"Well, ah ... not //anything//," Gerund says.\n\nI forcibly suppress the urge to rub my temples in frustration. Let's start big and work down, then. "Ok. If I were to wish for, say ... a bar of gold. Would that be within your power?"\n\n"Oh!" Gerund seems relieved. "Certainly. Would that be good enough?"\n* [[Yes]]\n* [[Hell yes|Yes]]

The hat man looks panicked for a moment, then says again, "And now, the detective Connected Kit will tell us the identity of the killer!"\n\n"What are you talking about?" I ask. "You want me to tell you //now//?"\n\n"Ah," Gerund interjects, sweating heavily. "Perhaps this is a cultural difference we are seeing." \n\nHe turns to me. "Connected Kit, you are a detective, you do detecting?"\n\n"I'm a Private Investigator. I investigate."\n\n"You solve mysteries like this one you're seeing?"\n\n"Yes, I solve mysteries like this." I don't like where this is going.\n\n"The identity of the being who killed this man is the mystery you are to be solving." He nods firmly, having cleared up the issue with communication.\n* [["I think there's some confusion about how human mysteries get solved."|Explanation][$professional += 2]]\n* [[ "Um, I don't want to be disappointing and I'm not totally sure how to explain this...|Explanation][$polite += 2]]\n* [["Mystery solving isn't a //power//, you jackasses!"|Explanation][$mercenary += 2]]

I incline my head to acknowledge the ruler, but do not kneel. The murmuring from the bleachers intensifies, and I hear some horrified gasping noises.\n\nRhys still doesn't open his eyes, but one eyebrow arches.\n\n"Will you not kneel for the Most Ineffable Lord Rhys?" the giant-hatted figure asks, a note of anxiety in its voice.\n\n"I'm not a vassal," I reply. "My people have a history of enslavement in my home nation. I'll respect your customs, but I don't kneel for anybody."\n\nThe room buzzes, scandalized. The hat faerie doesn't seem to know what to do, and Gerund, standing nearby, appears to be trying to fire pure rage-beams at me.\n\nLord Rhys slowly sits down, and the Hunters rise, their expressions unreadable.\n\n"I hear you have a job for me," I say, and stand at attention to wait for a reply. I'm not trying to cause an incident; maybe I can get them to focus on [[the job]].\n\n

body {\n margin: 5% 0 0 0;\n background-color:#000;\n}\n#passages{\n margin: 0;\n padding: 0;\n border: 0;\n}\n.passage {\n font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;\n text-align:left;\n color:#000;\n width: 40em;\n padding: 2em;\n font-size:3em;\n background-color:#fff;\n background: -webkit-linear-gradient(left, #aaa 0%,#fff 19%);\n background: linear-gradient(to right, #aaa 0%,#fff 19%);\n}\na.internalLink {\n color:#620;\n}\na.externalLink {\n color:#602;\n}\na.internalLink:hover {\n color:#410;\n text-decoration: none;\n}\na.externalLink:hover {\n color:#401;\n text-decoration: none;\n}\na.internalLink:active {\n color:#140;\n text-decoration: none;\n}\na.externalLink:active {\n color:#104;\n text-decoration: none;\n}\n#sidebar {\n display:none;\n}

I walk to the center of a long red carpet that stretches from the grand entrance to the hall -- a set of huge wooden double doors -- to what appears to be a throne podium. I turn my attention to that podium as I take my place between the Hunter twins.\n\nThe 'throne' itself seems to be a bare-branched tree of some kind, perfectly sculpted into a seat. In the seat is a tall, willowy figure. The figure is a caricature of elfin royalty, its head turned up so that it would be looking down its nose, if not for the fact that its eyes seem to be closed.\n\nA short figure in a very large hat steps out and faces the enthroned figure. "Now introducing! Connected Kit Calhoun, of the Mortal Realm! Step forward, mortal emissary, that you may be beheld by the Most Ineffable Lord Rhys!"\n\nWe step forward. Lord Rhys, not opening his eyes, rises from the throne. The hunters kneel.\n* [[Kneel][$polite += 4; $kneel = true]]\n* [[Don't][$mercenary += 4; $kneel = false]]

Caelyn Sandel

"That'd be adequate, yeah," I say. "I think I feel okay with 'a wish' as payment here. I'll ask more about it later."\n\n"The human will be taken to the crime scene!" The hat man exclaims, relieved to be back on script.\n\nThe hunters beckon me into an adjoining room. As we leave, the onlookers file behind us, crowding to get a good look while keeping a wide berth from the Hunters.\n\nThe room is a banquet hall, with a great table easily the length of my entire apartment. Somehow, Lord Rhys is already at the far head of the table, though I didn't see him get up and there doesn't appear to be an entrance near him.\n\nEven more distracting, though, is the dead body laid on the table like a main course. The corpse looks like a short man of middle years, wearing ornate courtly clothes with those cloth strip shoulder things. Just above his pot belly protrudes the hilt of a huge dagger buried deep in his chest.\n\nIt's quite a scene, really.\n\n"Behold! The crime scene!" The hat man bellows. "And now, the detective Connected Kit will tell us the identity of the killer!"\n\nI blink. [["I'm sorry, come again?"|Detective]]

Gerund sputters for a moment. "You are infuriating! I would have found another human detective had I known what I was getting!"\n\n"Another PI would have walked long ago. Anyway, you've got me. Just tell me what you need me to know."\n\nGerund huffs. "Fine, but no more interrupting."\n\nI fold my arms and [[listen|Briefing]].