You're tapping away at the keyboard working on a game. You haven't seen the cat in the last 30 minutes. Suddenly, you hear a 'meep' from behind, followed by two more! [[Ignore the cat.]] [[Say 'hello'.]] The cat squeaks at you in delight recognising your paltry attempts at communication, and you turn and offer an outstretched hand which is promptly nuzzled with a slightly damp nose. [[Return to your work.]] [[Get off your chair and fuss the cat.]]You ignore the cat, trying to focus on making your game. It requires all you brain power. The 'meeps' get louder. "Meow." "Meow!" "I say, pay attention!" ...is what she's probably saying, you're not sure but you've anthropomorphised her and it's close enough. [[Turn and say 'hello'.]] [[Pat her on the head and return to typing.]] The cat squeaks back, and you give her a quick rub under the chin, which she enjoys greatly. You turn back to the computer as she circles underneath your chair and then hops up in to your lap. Purring louder than old farmyard machinery, she manoeuvres herself until her butt is pointing directly at your face. [[Look away! But keep petting her head hoping she turns around!]] [[Look away! Keep hands on the keyboard!]]You return to work, whatever that is, before a flurry of paws land on the keyboardddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd 8 88888888 ddddd8ddddddd22222ddddd d2 d2 2d888888888dddddddddddd [[Cat-like typing detected!]]Purring intensifies. You hear a scrabbling of claws as the cat tries to scale the back of the chair. You have a cat on your head. It is vibrating. [[Click your fingers on the floor and try to get her to jump down.]] [[Express your annoyance.]]You spin off your chair and say "hello!" a few more times as purring bubbles up from within the striped beasty. The cat has flopped on to her back and is kneading the air, inviting you to stroke her white belly. Of course you never bloody learn, do you? Your outstretched hand is swiftly grabbed with all four paws, kicked and gnommed on for a bit. The cat scrabbles off as you grumble profusely and return to working on your game. [[Try and make your game.]]You swear a bit at the cat, but she doesn't seem to notice. She nuzzles your face, curling her lip so you get a bit of cat drool on you, then hops down in to your lap again leaving a jumble of characters in the place of your code. [[Give in, pet the cat until she goes away.]]You wince and avert your eyes. The cat is having none of it, and soon climbs up on to the desk and stands tall in front of the monitor. She looks directly in to your eyes as you try and peer over the top of her. [[Click your fingers on the floor and try to get her to jump down.]]You wince and turn your head. The cat rubs her face against your hands clamped on to the keys, in an almost passive-aggressive way. Then the desk. Then your arm. Then your hands again. Then delicately reaches up with a paw and gently claws at your lips, which makes you go "argh." [[Give in, pet the cat until she goes away.]]Five minutes of loud purring and nuzzling later, the cat suddenly gets bored and hops out of your lap to go and do something else. You sigh and try and remember what you were doing before. [[Try and make your game.]]It works! The cat follows your hand and makes a little 'mrp' as she lands, purring all the while. She nuzzles your outstretched fingers for a moment, and then pads back around for another go on the lap. [[Give in, pet the cat until she goes away.]]The cat is ambivalent to your cries of dissatisfaction. She clumsily climbs down in to your lap, making sure to give you a full view of her bum on the way down. [[Look away! Keep hands on the keyboard!]] [[Look away! But keep petting her head hoping she turns around!]]