Romney's Revenge — 1 of 1

"Romney's Revenge" by Tom Beeman and Matt Scorca

When play begins:

say "Hello, Govenor Romney. There are 15 days left in the election and you are behind in the polls! Of course, because of the electoral college, you need to focus your efforts on winning the right states so that you can get the magic number of 270 electoral votes to win the Presidency! You need to travel the country to states you think will be worth winning and do some political theater to get enough votes come election day. [line break] [line break] Just tell us 'go to (state)' and we will take you there. Keep in mind that it costs $0.5 million to travel to new states and you only have a finite amount of campaign funds left. Also keep in mind that after traveling to a new state or doing a certain action, it'll take up a whole day, AND THE ELECITON IS COMING UP! [line break] [line break] Also, if you ever want to see polling data just tell us 'polls' or for competitive states, 'close polls'. If you want to see states that you are leading in, just tell us 'my states' and we will tell you which states you are leading in and by how much. [line break] [line break] **KEEP IN MIND: You will probably lose the election if your campaign goes in debt, but you can take money from corporations, although the American people will probably get upset. [line break][line break] And Mr. Romney, our pilot is a real bozo so if you want to go to Virginia, and not West Virginia, then tell us you want to 'go to East Virginia' sorry...";

[global variables]

NationalBump is a number that varies.

NationalBump is 2.

stateListNum is a number that varies.

stateListNum is 51.

Money is a real number that varies.

Money is 18.

ElectoralVotes is a number that varies.

ElectoralVotes is 206.

TurnsLeft is a number that varies.

TurnsLeft is 15.

[actions]

Understand "go to [any room]" or "go back to [any room]" or "return to [any room]" or "revisit [any room]" as traveling.

Traveling is an action applying to one thing.

Check traveling:

if the noun is the location, say "You're already in [the location]." instead.

Carry out traveling:

Now Money is Money - 0.5;

move player to noun;

Decrement TurnsLeft;

say "You are polling at [the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls]% in [location]. [line break]";

say "[line break]To increase your chances of winning this state, you can: [line break]";

say "'throw rally' -- cost: 5 --- jump in [location] polls: 4[line break]";

say "'buy ad' -- cost: 2 --- jump in [location] polls: 2[line break]";

say "'stump speech' -- cost: 0.5 --- jump in [location] polls: 1[line break]";

say "'take money' -- gain: $4 million --- slide in national polls: 2[line break]";

say "[line break]** NOTE: Each action makes a day pass in the campaign! **[line break]";

Instead of going nowhere:

say "That is not a competitive state. Check how you are polling in the battleground states to see where we should really bring the campaign.";

Throw Rally is an action applying to nothing. Understand "rally" as Throw Rally. Understand "throw rally" as throw rally.

Carry out throw rally:

say "You throw a rally where you violently-- some would say illegally-- threaten Obama's life because he is such a bad President. You also talk about how you are buisness savvy, morally good, and a lover of your savior, Jesus Christ. Your beautiful family is there to support you as always. You look at the crazy faces of the screaming conservatives at your rally, and-- if even for just a moment-- you think, 'Wow maybe I do got a shot.'";

now the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls is the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls + 4;

say "You are now polling at [the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls]% in [location]!";

say "You spent $5 million so now you have $[Money - 5] million.";

now Money is Money - 5;

Decrement TurnsLeft;

Adbuy is an action applying to nothing. Understand "Buy Ad" as Adbuy. Understand "ad buy" as Adbuy.

Carry out adbuy:

say "You create a commercial showing your opponent saying that they hate [location] and that [location] is to blame for America's lack of moral worth.";

now the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls is the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls + 2;

say "You are now polling at [the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls]% in [location]!";

say "You spent $2million so now you have $[Money - 2]million.";

now Money is Money - 2;

Decrement TurnsLeft;

Stump Speech is an action applying to nothing. Understand "Speech" as Stump Speech. Understand "Stump" as Stump Speech. Understand "Speak" as Stump Speech. Understand "Stump Speech" as Stump Speech.

Carry out Stump Speech:

say "You do your classic Stump Speech where you just change the name of the state depending on where you are. Today it's [location]. Wow. Inspriational.";

now the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls is the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls + 1;

say "You are now polling at [the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls]% in [location]!";

say "You spent half a million on your speech and publicizing it so now you have $[Money - 0.5]million.";

now Money is Money - 0.5;

Decrement TurnsLeft;

Take Money is an action applying to nothing. Understand "Take Money" as take money.

Carry out Take Money:

say "The Koch Brothers offer you $4 million for flip flopping on your most fundamental core values. This shady act has a profound effect on the country and your support in each state goes down 2%. Wow. Inspriational. Hope you win the election.";

now Money is Money + 4;

now stateListNum is 51;

while stateListNum > 0 begin;

now the Poll in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls is the Poll in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls - 2;

decrement stateListNum;

end while;

now stateListNum is 51;

Decrement TurnsLeft;

ShowPolls is an action applying to nothing. Understand "polls" as ShowPolls. Understand "polling" as ShowPolls.

Carry out ShowPolls:

now stateListNum is 51;

say "Important Polling Data: [line break]";

while stateListNum > 0 begin;

say "[the State in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls] : [the Poll in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls]% ----- [the Votes in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls] votes [line break]";

decrement stateListNum;

end while;

now stateListNum is 51;

say "-------------------------- You have [ElectoralVotes] Electoral Votes. ---------------------------------------".

ShowClosePolls is an action applying to nothing. Understand "close polls" as ShowClosePolls. Understand "close polling" as ShowClosePolls.

Carry out ShowClosePolls:

now stateListNum is 51;

say "Important Polling Data in competitive states: [line break]";

while stateListNum > 0 begin;

if the Poll in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls > 42 and the Poll in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls < 55 begin;

say "[the State in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls] : [the Poll in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls]% ----- [the Votes in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls] votes [line break]";

end if;

decrement stateListNum;

end while;

now stateListNum is 51;

say "-------------------------- You have [ElectoralVotes] Electoral Votes. ---------------------------------------".

ShowMyStates is an action applying to nothing. Understand "my states" as ShowMyStates.

Carry out ShowMyStates:

now stateListNum is 51;

say "States that you are leading in right now: [line break][line break]";

while stateListNum > 0 begin;

if the Poll in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls > 49 begin;

say "[the State in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls] : [the Poll in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls]% ----- [the Votes in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls] votes [line break]";

end if;

decrement stateListNum;

end while;

now stateListNum is 51.

[table for states with inital stats]

Table of Polls

[Every turn show this information]

Every turn:

Now ElectoralVotes is 0;

while stateListNum > 0 begin;

if the Poll in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls > 49 begin;

Now ElectoralVotes is ElectoralVotes + the Votes in row stateListNum of the Table of Polls;

end if;

decrement stateListNum;

end while;

Every turn:

say "Current Funds: $[Money] million.";

say "There are [TurnsLeft] days left in the campaign.";

now stateListNum is 51;

if the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls > 58:

say "You are way AHEAD here, it's definitely not worth your effort to spend any more money here. You are wasting time!";

say "You are polling at [the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls]% in [location]!";

otherwise if the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls < 38:

say "You are way BEHIND here, it's definitely not worth your effort to spend any more money here. You are wasting time!";

say "You are polling at [the Poll corresponding to a State of location in the Table of Polls]% in [location]!";

if TurnsLeft is 0:

say "[line break]It's election day and the polls were spot on! You gained [ElectoralVotes] electoral votes which means ";

if ElectoralVotes < 270:

say "you LOST the election!";

otherwise:

say "you WON the election!";

end the story;

if Money < 0:

say "[line break]You spent too much money and are now in debt. The country saw this as a terrible demonstration of your 'business acumen' and think you would be a terrible President to get us out of the recession. You can buy your way to the White House, you just need to budget better.";

say "[line break]you LOST the election!";

end the story.

[states]

Alabama is a room. "Home of George Washington Carver, who discovered more than 300 uses for peanuts"

Alaska is a room. "The longest coastline in the U.S., 6,640 miles, greater than that of all other states combined"

Arizona is a room. "The most telescopes in the world, in Tucson"

Arkansas is a room. "The only active diamond mine in the U.S."

California is a room. "California is the 'treasure of the democrats' and a deep blue state that has by far the most electoral college votes. A democrat has not won the Presidency without since who knows when! It is also the chillest place on Earth.".

Colorado is a room. "You arrive in Colorado. It is strange place. More suspicious of government than anything. This is also the first state to legalize weed.".

Connecticut is a room. "The first American cookbook, published in Hartford in 1796: American Cookery by Amelia Simmons"

Delaware is a room. "The first log cabins in North America, built in 1683 by Swedish immigrants"

Florida is a room. "You arrive in the mother of all battleground states, Florida. 29 electoral votes are more than enough to decide a close election. Winning by 1% here is considered a comfortable margin. The state is also known for its incredibly wide gap between rich and poor, 80s-glory history, and having a pretty wild history of govenors."

Georgia is a room. "The Girl Scouts, founded in Savannah by Juliette Gordon Low in 1912"

Hawaii is a room. "The only royal palace in the U.S. (Iolani)"

Idaho is a room. "The longest main street in America, 33 miles, in Island Park"

Illinois is a room. "The tallest building in the U.S., Sears Tower, in Chicago"

Indiana is a room. "The famous car race: the Indy 500"

Iowa is a room. “You arrive in the Iowa. Got to see a whole lot of corn on your way in; at least you know those subsidies are being used. It’s only 6 electoral votes but it sets the tone for your campaign. If you can win the hearts and minds of skeptical Iowans, you can win this election.”

Kansas is a room. "Helium discovered in 1905 at the University of Kansas"

Kentucky is a room. "The largest underground cave in the world: 300 miles long, the Mammoth-Flint Cave system"

Louisiana is a room. "The most crayfish: 98% of the world's crayfish"

Maine is a room. "The most easterly point in the U.S., West Quoddy Head1"

Maryland is a room. "The first umbrella factory in the U.S., 1928, Baltimore"

Massachusetts is a room. "The first World Series, 1903: the Boston 'Americans' (became the Red Sox in 1908) vs. the Pittsburg Pirates (Pittsburgh had no 'h' between 1890–1911)"

Michigan is a room. "The Cereal Bowl of America, Battle Creek, produces most cereal in the U.S."

Minnesota is a room. "The oldest rock in the world, 3.8 billion years old, found in Minnesota River valley"

Mississippi is a room. "Coca-Cola, first bottled in 1894 in Vicksburg"

Missouri is a room. "Mark Twain and some of his characters, such as Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn"

Montana is a room. "Grasshopper Glacier, named for the grasshoppers that can still be seen frozen in ice"

Nebraska is a room. "The only roller skating museum in the world, in Lincoln"

Nevada is a room. “You arrive in Nevada. Its history including events like the silver rush, the beat rush, and the white flight, this state has attracted a certain kind of person. You’ll have to alter your image for this one, they haven’t voted for the wrong candidate in the General in over 50 years.”

New Hampshire is a room. "You arrive in New Hampshire. It actually has a plurality of undeclared voters and is very exciting for people to act like it matters in the primary process of either major party. It's only four electoral votes, but it's more about pride, y'know?"

New Jersey is a room. "The world's first drive-in movie theater, built in 1933 near Camden"

New Mexico is a room. "Smokey Bear, a cub orphaned by fire in 1950, buried in Smokey Bear Historical State Park in 1976"

New York is a room. "The first presidential inauguration: George Washington took the oath of office in New York City on April 30, 1789"

North Carolina is a room. “You arrive in The Old North State. Don’t let the old nickname deceive you, this is a southern state. They missed the 1864 election due to secession from the Union. Generally republican leaning, but it’s not unheard of for a strong democrat to swing the vote.”

North Dakota is a room. "The geographic center of North America, in Pierce County, near Balta"

Ohio is a room. “You arrive in the Buckeye State, Ohio. Said by many a pundit to be ‘the new Florida’ in Presidential elections, its 18 electoral votes are highly sought after.”

Oklahoma is a room. "The first parking meter, installed in Oklahoma City in 1935"

Oregon is a room. "The world's smallest park, totaling 452 inches, created in Portland on St. Patrick's Day for leprechauns and snail races"

Pennsylvania is a room. "The first magazine in America: the American Magazine, published in Philadelphia for 3 months in 1741"

Rhode Island is a room. "Rhode Island Red chickens, first bred in 1854; the start of poultry as a major American industry"

South Carolina is a room. "The first tea farm in the U.S., created in 1890 near Summerville"

South Dakota is a room. "The world's largest natural, indoor warmwater pool, Evans' Plunge in Hot Springs"

Tennessee is a room. "Graceland, the estate and gravesite of Elvis Presley"

Texas is a room. "NASA, in Houston, headquarters for all piloted U.S. space projects"

Utah is a room. "Rainbow Bridge, the largest natural stone bridge in the world, 290 feet high, 275 feet across"

Vermont is a room. "The largest production of maple syrup in the U.S."

Virginia is a room. "You arrive in Virginia. Believe it or not, when different minority groups stopped being disenfranchised, the state became rather diverse politically and is often up for contention in presidential elections." Understand "East Virginia" as Virginia.

Washington is a room. "Lunar Rover, the vehicle used by astronauts on the moon; Boeing, in Seattle, makes aircraft and spacecraft"

Washington DC is a room. "Your future home, if you play your cards right big boy."

West Virginia is a room. Understand "West Virginia" as West Virginia.

Wisconsin is a room. “You arrive in Wisconsin, the Cheese State. This group of dairy lovers has voted for Democrat every election since 1984, but only by the slimmest margins. In 2000 and 2004, a Democrat only beat a Republican by a quarter of a percent. Be careful with your standing here”.

Wyoming is a room. "The 'Register of the Desert,' a huge granite boulder covering 27 acres with 5,000 early pioneer names carved on it"

Release along with the source text,cover art, an interpreter, and a website.