Alien Autopsy - illustrated

"Hah, Dib-human. About time you smelly human-stink got here. You're LATE." Zim greets you, he dangles from the ceiling like an oversized vampiric BEE, his pak legs shine in the dim light while hooked onto the ceiling. (click: "ceiling.") [ <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49406323681/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_0671"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49406323681_03ec3671b6_b.jpg" width="1024" height="738" alt="DSC_0671"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script> <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49406409377/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_0679"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49406409377_914b05ae7a_b.jpg" width="1024" height="740" alt="DSC_0679"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script> You follow Zim as he skitters into the tunnels of his mysterious and fascinating lab of irken technology. Zim's voice echoes throughout the tunnels. ] (click: "tunnels.") [<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49405810848/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_0677"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49405810848_b5cb024cf7_b.jpg" width="1024" height="736" alt="DSC_0677"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script> "Hurry up, Dib-Stink! Move faster before Gir gets tired of his show and makes a mess of things!!" Sparks fly from the cracked coiling wires, you hear the strange british accent of his computer grumbling and you excitedly eye the strange creatures floating in the vats. Up ahead is [[the dissection table.]] <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49486113958/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_1260"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49486113958_b878c94ec7_b.jpg" width="1024" height="821" alt="DSC_1260"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script>] (set: $test1 to false) (set: $test2 to false) (set: $test3 to false) (set: $stomach to false) (set: $legs to false) (set: $skull to false)

The dim light flickers above the dissection table. (click: "table.")[ -- <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49405772678/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_0678"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49405772678_e7c6fb3e2a_b.jpg" width="1024" height="746" alt="DSC_0678"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script>] You and Zim start to prepare for autopsy. (click: "autopsy.")[<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49406304966/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_0673"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49406304966_1d18aa4a74_b.jpg" width="1024" height="769" alt="DSC_0673"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script>] On the table is a dead Vortian. (click: "Vortian.")[ <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49406486516/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_0676"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49406486516_3c80931d25_b.jpg" width="1024" height="811" alt="DSC_0676"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script>] (If: $skull is true)[ The skull and horns are in a disinfectant tank, later you'll clean them off for your display and specimen pile in your dad's shed.The rainbow jelly brains jiggle in the corner, in a jar labeled "FOR GIR." (click: "FOR GIR.")[ <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49406195251/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_0680"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49406195251_a601798972_b.jpg" width="1024" height="751" alt="DSC_0680"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script>]] (if: $legs is true)[The muscle fiber is neatly coiled on the counter, while the diamond hooves have been crafted into a HOOF AXE. (click: "HOOF AXE.")[ <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49406152471/in/dateposted-public/" title="DSC_0684"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49406152471_b1cc65fa49_b.jpg" width="1024" height="798" alt="DSC_0684"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script>]] (if: $stomach is true)[The stomach stones have been put into a jar for later analysis. The spooch worms have been absorbed into Zim's digestive system.] (if: $test1 and $test2 and $test3)[ [["THE DISSECTION IS DONE, DIB."]]] (else:)[ Zim's spidery legs beckon you closer and one of them gestures towards the organs. As Zim speaks, the leg stabs in midair towards the organs as he names them. "NOW PICK AN ORGAN, DIB." (click-replace:"NOW PICK AN ORGAN, DIB." )[ (if: $skull is false)[[[" Want to look at the brain meats, Dib?? SOON, you'll learn how inferior the human mind is, just like the Vortians?"]]] (else:) ["We already dissected the brain-meats, Gir is going to eat it." Zim says. ] (if:$legs is false)[[["The nasty little legs of the Vortians? They kick hard you know, this one nearly kicked Gir in the face. BUT I MADE HIM PAY FOR IT."]]] (else:) [ Zim screeches. "The Vortian's inferior legs have been recycled for the glory of the Irken Empire!"] (if: $stomach is false)[[["Ah. The stomach-meats, the place of digestion, Dib." ]]] (else:)[ Zim talks in a smug tone of voice. "The stomach worms are quite happy in my Spooch, Dib. Too bad YOU'RE TOO PRIMITIVE TO HOUSE THEM."]]] (set: $ending to $test1 and $test2 and $test3)

(set: $stomach to true) (set: $test1 to true) The entrails and stomachs are just plain nasty. (click: "nasty")[<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49406610247/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_0670"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49406610247_02665c1850_b.jpg" width="1024" height="699" alt="DSC_0670"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script> "See, Diiiiibbb. Unlike your inferior human s t oma-ch." Zim stretches out the word stomach. "Vortians have FOUR OF THEM." As you cut, you find piles of glittering rocks, blood-smeared stones, and old bones in the gooey meaty chambers. You speak to Zim. "...Zim, some earth life have stomachs like this. Cows for one. But they weren't so....wormy." Worms weakly wriggle as you poke them with the scalpel. Green pus oozes out of their ends, as you press the scalpel into them. "Dib....dib...DIB." Zim responds, hands clasped behind his back, marching back and forth. "The worms are NORMAL, human worm-baby. Many superior life forms, not as superior as Irkens, of course, but the worms EAT WHAT WE EAT and ooze out easily digestable nutrition into our squeedily spooch." You stare at Zim, your mouth gaping and eye twitching. Zim smile twists in satisfaction as he opens his mouth again. "YOU DONT HAVE SPOOCH WORMS, DIB, ANOTHER REASON YOU ARE INFERIOR." Zim looks at the dying worms and swallows them whole. (click: "swallows them whole.")[ <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49406611477/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_0667"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49406611477_f33ae94e00_b.jpg" width="1024" height="841" alt="DSC_0667"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script> You gag. Zim smirks and keeps gloating. "See, a superior method of digestion, Dib. Only a lowly creature such as yourself would put spooch worms to waste." You decide to go look at the other organs in [[the dissection table.]]]]

(set: $legs to true) (set: $test2 to true) "Yep, this one tried to kick Gir, so now, THE NASTY PRIMITIVE VORTIAN-MEATS WILL BE FED TO SUSTAIN GIR'S EXTENSIVE BELLY! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA." "...." "Gir eats everything, Dib-human. You know this." You shudder at the memories of Gir trying to devour Bloaty's Pizza and then Bloaty himself. It took the wrath of Gaz, your sister, to set everything right. Inspect the hooves. (Click-replace: "Inspect the hooves.") [ <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49486787907/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_1263"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49486787907_ae2a53c449_b.jpg" width="1006" height="1024" alt="DSC_1263"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script> It takes a laser ax to cut off the hooves. Nothing else works on removing them. Piles of dented scalpels, tools, hammers, and prybars have been flung into the corner in the past hour. "Good thing, Gir's a robot, Dib. One kick of these DIAMOND HOOVES WOULD SQUISH YOU INTO TINY HUMAN SQUISHED PIECES. "Whatever, Zim."] Inspect the muscles. (Click-replace: "Inspect the muscles.") [ The skin on the other hand is quite easy to peel off. Zim points to the leg muscles with a laser scalpel and gloats, his worm-like tongue wriggles in the air as he cackles, spittle flying. "See this, Dib. Vortians use similar muscle fibers in their doomsday mechs to wreck havoc. And the Irken Empire gloriously uses their machines to bring destruction. " You reply. (click-replace: "You reply.")[ "Time for me to build something with this then, Zim. I'll be able to run faster with an exoskeleton, so we can CATCH MORE ALIENS." Your glasses shine in the dark like an overdramatic anime scene. After you are done taking photos and collecting samples of the leg muscle fibers, it's time to go look at the other organs on the [[the dissection table.]]]]

(set: $skull to true) (set: $test3 to true) "Now Dib-Meat, behold your fellow big-head!" Zim cackles and with a slice of his spidery pak leg, detaches the Vortian head from the neck. You respond. (click-replace: "You respond.")[ "Hey! I wanted to do that!" "Silence, Dib!" Another table rises from the floor. Zim places the bloody head on the table and hands you a scalpel. Inspect the horns. (click-replace: "Inspect the horns.")[ The work is bloody and long. You split the skin, peel the scalp off, and inspect the horns. Turns out that Vortian horns are just long thick sheaths of keratin, hiding bony horn growths. You keep the horns, they'll be useful as specimens and proof of alien life. ] Inspect the brain. (Click-replace: "Inspect the brain.")[ Using a saw, you crack open the skull, revealing the rainbow colored brains. <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49405854508/in/dateposted-public/" title="DSC_0669"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49405854508_e69dd8f940_b.jpg" width="1024" height="804" alt="DSC_0669"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script> The brain - meats jiggle as Zim pokes it with his gloved finger. You stick your tongue out in disgust. "Gross, looks like rainbow sherbert." <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49382869562/in/dateposted-public/" title="DSC_0662"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49382869562_36179c9681_b.jpg" width="1024" height="765" alt="DSC_0662"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script> "I'm sure Gir will enjoy it, Dib. The Vortians are infamous for their sweet brain jellies." "And you're just TELLING ME THIS NOW, ZIM?" "Seeing your human ignorance is gratifying, Dib-stink. Time to look at the other organs on [[the dissection table.]] ]]

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The dissection is over. (click: "over.")[ Gir happily snacks on his Vortian brains, rainbow meats is smeared across his face. <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49406377386/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_0682"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49406377386_8e0dae0747_b.jpg" width="909" height="1024" alt="DSC_0682"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script> Zim has taken his revenge on the Vortian that tried to kick Gir in the face and you have proof of aliens to show to the world and most importantly, your Dad. All is well in the world. END. THANKS FOR PLAYING! (click: "THANKS FOR PLAYING!")[ <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/fastpies/49486638411/in/album-72157712729300162/" title="DSC_1259"><img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49486638411_4476cedbe7_b.jpg" width="1024" height="653" alt="DSC_1259"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script>]]

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