GAME OVER

[[GAME OVER->Page 1]] Failure is very often the beginning of something bigger.

[[*Remain Silent*->Page 2]] [[Hello?->Page 2,1]]

[[*Remain Silent*->Page 2,2]] [[Where am I?->Page 2,3]]

Ah, hello. One moment please. I'll be right with you. [[Next->Page 3]]

[[*Remain Silent*->Page 2,4]] [[Anybody there?->Page 2,5]]

I knew it. I had a feeling this one would say that. They're always so curious. You owe me a drink, Avil. [[Next->Page 2,7]]

Right then. My name is Avil and it is my job to introduce you to your new home of sorts. I understand that this may be very confusing so bear with me. I have to fill in these sheets before we continue. I hate paperwork. [[New home?->Page 4]] [[*Remain Silent*->Page 4,1]]

Strange. They've usually said something by now. [[Next->Page 2,6]]

There's always someone there... [[Next->Page 2,7]]

Or, at the very least, started to whimper. [[Next->Page 3,1]]

Please Orcus, I do not want to have a discussion about professionalism again. I'm sorry about my colleague. He has tendency to become bored rather quickly. I shall provide you with a full explanation in a moment. [[Next->Page 3]]

To put it simply, you're dead. Then again, you might not have 'died', sometimes they just fall into nothingness, get caught sneaking or are subject to the dreaded disconnect... nasty way to go. Whatever happens, ultimately, you end up here, where all disregarded characters come to live. [[Next->Page 4,2]]

Shock is very normal. You wouldn't believe the disbelief of some people that pass through here, claiming to be 'The One'. I let Orcus humour them on the slower days. Passes the time. Anyway. Questionnaire time. [[Next->Page 5]]

Oh lord, you finally speak. To put it simply, you're dead. Then again, you might not have 'died', sometimes they just fall into nothingness, get caught sneaking or are subject to the dreaded disconnect... nasty way to go. Whatever happens, ultimately, you end up here, where all disregarded characters come to live. [[Next->Page 5]]

I must say that whilst your silence has sped up the process up until now, it would be wonderful if you would be able to answer these following questions. It would be far easier for both of us. [[Next->Page 5]]

[[QUESTION 1->Page 6]]

Anyway. If you would be able to answer the following questions as quickly as possible that would be wonderful. [[Next->Page 5]]

How did you find yourself here? [[We were in a trench. The heavy rain was slowly saturating the mud beneath our feet.->Soldier pp. 1]] [[One hundred and ten miles per hour through tight chicanes. With seven hundred horsepower, I short shift out of the hairpins and red line it along the curved embankments.->Racer pp. 1]] [[The princess, I must save the princess! The green-shelled monster with the red mohawk, it has her in its lair!->Italian Plumber pp. 1]] [[I don't know-> Disconected pp. 1]]

Strange. They always seem to mention the weather. Anything else? [["Over the top, boys," the officer shouted, "Charge!"->Soldier pp. 2]] [[The sky whistled with diving fighters and descending mortars. It made the rattle of a machine gun sound like a lullaby.->Soldier pp. 2,1]]

A speed demon. All numbers and mechanical excuses, the lot of you. [[Next->Racer pp. 2]]

A noble cause. To attempt to save a lady with royal blood, you should be proud. What else can you remember? [[Having just consumed a tasty red mushroom, I was a little less worried about the spiky pufferfish swarming around me->Italian Plumber pp. 2]] [[Spiralling flames lit up the cave as boney tortoise trundled towards me.->Italian Plumber pp. 2,1]]

That is okay. You wouldn't believe the number of people we get who arrive with no memory, completely dazed and confused. You have composed yourself rather well, I must say. [[Next->Disconnected pp.2]]

//We all scrambled into no man's land. The cratered mud slowed our advance as muzzle flashes stabbed through the fog.// [[Then it all went black->Soldier pp. 3]]

//We hunkered down. Screams echoed between explosions up and down the trenches. Dirt peppered my helmet. A dull bulb of metal fell from the sky and buried itself in the mud.// [[Then it all went black->Soldier pp.3,1]]

A soldier then, killed in the heat of battle. Headshot most likely. [[Next->Soldier pp. 4]]

Sounds like a soldier. Death by explosion. Don't worry, we have plenty here like you. [[Next->Soldier pp. 4,1]]

''Orcus!'' I am sorry about him. Please continue. [[After thirty-six laps, my tyres were completely shot but I couldn't pit because I would be giving up my podium position.->Racer pp.3]] [[We were side-by-side through the first two sectors. With the hairpin fast approaching, one of us would have to yield to the other.->Racer pp. 3,1]]

//The curved embankment overheated my outside tyres and the grip was disappearing. There was a dull pop from my front left tyre. Immediately, I opposite locked the steering wheel as I began to spin.// [[Then it all went black->Racer pp. 4]]

//They had the inside. I would have to brake as late as possible to stay in contention. I locked my tyres and understeered wildly over the grass towards the tyre wall.// [[Then it all went black.->Racer pp. 4]]

And of course you probably kept your foot planted to the gas pedal as the tire wall crushed the side panels of your car. There is only one thing to blame and it isn't the car. [[Next->Racer pp. 5]]

//I swam through a green pipe, not knowing what was on the other side. More pufferfish were waiting, spikes poised. I didn't notice the strong current that pushed me towards them.// [[Then it all went black->Italian Plumber pp. 3]]

//The ground began to rumble louder and louder with every step into the cave. Boulders fell from the ceiling. I saw angry faces etched into the side as they smacked into the ground.// [[Then it all went black->Italian Plumber pp. 3]]

We have ceratinly had many similar cases over the years, both from the 8-bit realm and the higher definitions. I must say, they are usually quite a chipper bunch. You will have plenty of time to get to know them all soon. Follow me, I will show you to your new home. [[*Follow Avil*->Italian Plumber pp. 6]]

//It was all so scrambled. [[It just went black->Disconnected pp.3]];it went black for a long time and then I heard your voice.//

Fortunately, this is a place where you can start again. Free of three-hundred ping, free of deadly crashes and all sorts of nasty ways to go. I have a list here of vacant slots in some of our various homes. Please choose from the options available. [[I want to be a soldier.->Disconnected Choice Soldier]] [[I want to be a racer.->Disconnected Choice Racer]] [[I want to be an Italian plumber.->Disconnected Choice]]

Quick and painless at least. We got a whole load of people here that were mauled by a pack of wolves. Unsurprisingly, they're not dog people. [[Next->Soldier pp. 5]]

Thank you, Orcus. Follow me, I will show you to your new quarters where you shall find some like-minded individuals from a similar background... ...hopefully. [[Next->Soldier pp. 6]]

//You follow Avil down a wide corridor. She doesn't look back to see if you are following. On each side of the corridor there are doors evenly spaced apart. Each of them features a bronze plaque underneath a small window. The plaques indicate different ways that people have arrived here: drowned, outside-playzone elimination, victim of hacking. Avil's steps begin to slow as she turns her head left and right, searching for [[your door.->Soldier pp.7]]//

Here we are. Any questions? [[No->Soldier pp.8]] [[How long am I here for?->Soldier 0 How long am I here for]] [[Who are you?->Soldier 0 Who are you]] [[What is this? A prison for the afterlife?->Soldier 0 What is this]]

Right then. In you go. It shan't be long before we shall be having, what we like to call, //inter-mortem social time.// [[Next->Soldier pp.9]]

You can be here for as long as you like. Some have stayed for decades, other minutes. I think that it is best that you speak to your new neighbours about it. Any more [[questions?->Soldier 0 Any more questions]]

I'm Avil, I thought I told you. I welcome the new arrivals. You wouldn't beleive our intake. I am here with you but I am also with other arrivals. It's very complicated. Any more [[questions?->Soldier 0 Any more questions]]

Some might think of this as a rehab facility, others simply see it as a second chance. Personally, I see it as a place that provides a little bit of safety for everyone. Any more [[questions?->Soldier 0 Any more questions]]

[[I have no more questions->Soldier pp.8]] [[How long am I here for?->Soldier 0 How long am I here for]] [[Who are you?->Soldier 0 Who are you]] [[What is this? A prison for the afterlife?->Soldier 0 What is this]]

Good afternoon, Maam. [[Next->Soldier pp. 10]]

You were lucky. The shrapnel was merciful, finshed you quick. We got some guys that bled out for hours. They still cry for their mother's in their sleep. [[Next->Soldier pp. 5,1]]

Regardless, Orcus, our friend here has come to the same end and is likely suffering from the same emotions. Follow me, I will show you to your new quarters where you shall find some like-minded individuals from a similar background... ...hopefully. [[Next->Soldier pp.6,1]]

Ah, hello, Michael. How are you feeling to day? Everything okay? This is Michael, one of our longest serving residents. //You often find that if you spend enough time here, you will forget where you came from.// [[Next->Soldier pp. 11]]

Very good, Maam, very good. Any news from the front? Nothing to report here, everything is ship shape. A new recruit! Nice to meet you private. My name is Michael but most of the boys call me Mike. [[Hi Mike->Soldier pp. 12]] [[Hi Michael->Soldier pp. 12,1]]

Very good, Private, very good. We'll make a soldier out of you yet. I'll show you to your bunk. You're with me. [[*Follow Mike*->Soldier pp.12,0,0]]

Hmm. I think that you will get along with the rest of our little crew just fine. I'm sure that you can bunk with one of them. [[*Follow Mike*->Soldier pp.12,0,0]]

Well they wouldn't be much of a racer if they weren't on the limit. Sounds like you had a tire blowout. It seems that strategy was put on the backburner, as it were. Follow me, I will show you to your new quarters. I am sure that you will be having plenty of discussions over strategy. [[Next->Racer pp. 6]]

Here we are. Any questions? [[No->Racer pp.8]] [[How long am I here for?->Racer How long am I here for]] [[Who are you?->Racer Who are you]] [[What is this? A prison for the afterlife?->Racer What is this]]

Right then. In you go. It shan't be long before we shall be having, what we like to call, //inter-mortem social time.// [[Next->Racer pp.9]]

You can be here for as long as you like. Some have stayed for decades, other minutes. I think that it is best that you speak to your new neighbours about it. Any more [[questions?->Racer Any more questions]]

Good morning, boss. [[Next->Racer pp.10]]

[[I have no more questions->Racer pp.8]] [[How long am I here for?->Racer How long am I here for]] [[Who are you?->Racer Who are you]] [[What is this? A prison for the afterlife?->Racer What is this]]

Good morning, Michael. Lovely weather we're having here today. //Michael thinks that I am his race engineer. He has resided here for years. He can't even remember a time before being here.// [[Next->Racer pp.11]]

I can only hope that this glorious sunshine stays for the upcoming race weekend. Shouldn't be too much more of a wait, right, Avil? A rookie driver! Welcome to the paddock. My name is Michael but my friends call me Mike. [[Nice to meet you, Mike.->Racer pp. 12]] [[Nice to meet you, Michael.->Racer pp.12,1]]

//Avil has disappeared along with the door that you came through. It's quiet. The canvas of the tents rustles in the wind and soldiers mumble as they play cards around a wooden table. You head out of the tent and find yourself in an army campsite. There must be a thousand soldiers stationed here. Although the paths between each of the tents is presumably well-trodden, there is no sign of mud. Beautiful green countryside surrounds you. Birds are chirping and there is a small farmhouse in the distance with smoke rising from the chimney. There is no distant gunfire, no planes overhead and the armory is completely empty.// [[Where are the guns?->Soldier pp. 12,0,1]] [[*Keep following Mike*->Soldier pp. 13]]

We have no need for them here. They're all in service with the boys at the front. Our time will come to join the fight any day now, I'm sure. [[Next->Soldier pp. 13]]

This is us. Help yourself to a bunk. Everyone is friendly here. I'll go and get us a cuppa from the mess tent. [[*Explore*->Soldier pp. 14]]

//The rest of the soldiers in the tent seemed to be less enthusiastic than Mike. One of them was lying on the bottom bunk with his boots kicked off. He was reading Count Dracula. The other three were sat around a table staring at the fan of playing cards in their hand.// [[Mind if I join your card game?->Soldier Card Game Set Up]] [[How's the book?->Soldier pp. 14,2]] [[Where the hell am I?->Soldier pp. 14,3]]

Take a seat. Don't worry, we ain't all like Mike. This is the only place he really knows and he's happy livin' here. You know pontoon? Closest to twenty-one wins but don't go over or you'll bust. Royals are ten and Aces are one or eleven. Name's Malarky by the way. [[*Take your cards*->Soldier Card Game Starting Hand]]

I'll be honest. When you've read any book from cover to cover thirty-five times, it's rather difficult to say anything nice. [[I think I'll join the card game.->Soldier Card Game Set Up]] [[Where the hell am I?->Soldier pp. 14,3]]

A question we've all asked. Questions answer themselves around here. You don't have to be asking any questions too much. Take a seat. Let's play some cards. [[Next->Soldier Card Game Set Up]]

''8 Diamonds and 7 Clubs'' [[How did you all find yourself here?->Soldier Card Game V1]] [[Is this what you guys do?->Soldier Card Game V2]]

Fletch was crushed by a tank and Green was caught by a sniper. As for me... I was hit by friendly fire. But I ain't bitter like them two keep sayin'. What you you doin', Private? Stick or twist? [[Stick->Soldier Card Game V1 Stick]] [[Twist->Soldier Card Game V1 Twist]]

Pretty much. Avil might bring us something new every once in a while. We asked her for a firing range and she disappered on us for over a week. We think twice about what we ask her for now. What you doin', Private. Stick or Twist? [[Stick->Soldier Card Game V1 Stick]] [[Twist->Soldier Card Game V1 Twist]]

We'll be going to inter-mortem soon. Or, as Mike calls it, 'Mission Briefing'. You'll find plenty of crazies there. Best to stick with us. All right then. What's everybody got? [[*Show cards*-> Soldier Card Game V1 Stick Reveal]]

''8 diamonds, 7 Clubs and 5 Clubs'' We'll be going to inter-mortem soon. Or, as Mike calls it, 'Mission Briefing'. You'll find plenty of crazies there. Best to stick with us. You goin' again? [[Stick->Soldier Card Game V1 Twist Stick]] [[Twist->Soldier Card Game V1 Twist Twist]]

Always a good idea to play it safe for your first couple of games. Alright then, what everybody got? [[*Show your cards*->Soldier Card Game V1 Twist Stick Reveal]]

''8 Diamonds, 7 Clubs, 5 Clubs and 2 Hearts'' BUST! What's everyone else got? [[Next->Soldier Card Game V1 Twist Twist Reveal]]

Fifteen, not too bad, private. I can see that you two are both bust. I've got Twenty-One on the dot. I win again. [[What's that in your sleeve?->Soldier Card Game Cheat]] [[Well done, Malarky->Soldier Card Game Well Done]]

Hard luck, private. I can see that you two are both bust too. I've got Twenty-One on the dot. I win again. [[What's that in your sleeve?->Soldier Card Game Cheat]] [[Well done, Malarky->Soldier Card Game Well Done]]

Twenty, pretty good, private. I can see that you two are both bust. I've got Twenty-One on the dot. I win again. [[What's that in your sleeve?->Soldier Card Game Cheat]] [[Well done, Malarky->Soldier Card Game Well Done]]

What's what in my sleeve? I don't know what you are talking about. [[Next->Soldier pp. 15]]

Thank you, Private. Better luck next time 'ay. [[Next->Soldier pp. 15]]

I hope I'm not interupting. Are you all ready for inter-mortem? [[Next->Soldier pp. 16]]

You're not interupting at all, Avil. We were just finishing up our nice //fair// game of cards. [[We're ready to go->Soldier pp. 17]] [[What about Mike?->Soldier pp. 16,1]]

//A door opens behind Avil in the middle of the tent. Malarky heads through first followed by the rest of you. "We might be called up. Today could be our day to serve," says Mike. You file into a giant hall. Hundreds of Avils are holding hundreds of doors for thousands of disgruntled souls as they fill the room. Once everyone is through the door, Avil closes it and it vanishes. The ceiling is so high that it feels like the outdoors. There is a faint breeze that seems to come from no where as everyone begins to cluster near benches and tables dotted around the hall. You see Mike wandering from group to group. He stomps the ground and salutes anyone that catches his eye. Malarky ushers you to an empty table along the edge of the hall.// [[So what do we do now?->Soldier pp. 17,1]] [[What is this place?->Soldier pp. 17,2]] [[*Sit in silence*-> Soldier pp. 17,3]]

Here, Private. Hello, Maam. Any news from the front? Nothing to report here, everything is ship shape. [[Next->Soldier pp. 16,2]]

That is good to hear, Michael. I will let command know of your efforts. Everyone ready? [[Next->Soldier pp. 17]]

Nothing, most often than not. Most o'this lot are as mad as a box o'frogs. It ain't even worth saying hello to them. We're speaking in the same room but we're a million realities apart. So many of them are yet to realise that they were just in a game. By the time you got here, Avil and Orcus do a fairly good job at helping with the transition. It took me months to fully comprehend what was happening. [[What is this place?->Soldier pp. 17,1,1]] [[*Sit in silence*->Soldier pp. 17,1,2]]

They call it inter-mortem. It's a chance to meet other people from different... Backgrounds. Over their you've got failed Guitar Hero attempts. Tone deaf doesn't do them justice. And that lot over their are whited out Pokemon trainers. They're a determined bunch, I'll give them that. [[So what do we do now?->Soldier pp. 17,2,1]] [[*Sit in silence*->Soldier pp. 17,2,2]]

Now you're getting the hang of it, Private. We'll be back in our tent soon enough. [[So what do we do now?->Soldier pp. 17,3,1]] [[What is this place?->Soldier pp. 17,3,2]]

Now you're getting the hang of it, Private. We'll be back in our tent soon enough. [[*Continue sitting in silence*->Soldier pp. 18]] [[What is this place?->Soldier pp. 17,1,1]]

Oh no. No, no, no, no! That's Relafui, he's coming this way. [[Who's Relafui?->Soldier End1 pp. 1]] [[*Pretend to be distracted by the black cubicle across the hall*->Soldier End2 pp. 1]]

Now you're getting the hang of it, Private. We'll be back in our tent soon enough. [[So what do we do now?->Soldier pp. 17,2,1]] [[*Continue to sit in silence*->Soldier pp. 18]]

They call it inter-mortem. It's a chance to meet other people from different... Backgrounds. Over their you've got failed Guitar Hero attempts. They redefine the term, 'tone-deaf'. And that lot over their are whited out Pokemon trainers. They're a determined bunch, I'll give them that. [[Next->Soldier pp. 18]]

He got here after failing his tutorial. He's an angry guy. He's coming. [[Next->Soldier End1 pp. 2]]

Where you off to, Private? [[What's this black cubicle?->Soldier End2 pp. 2]] [[Just having a look around.->Soldier End2 pp. 2,1]]

What you soldiers talking about? Reminiscing on memories of epic battles and the ever-lasting feeling of comradeship? Can't relate. [[What game are //you// from?->Soldier End1 pp. 2,1]] [[We were just talking about you. How did you manage to fail a tutorial?->Soldier End1 pp. 2,2]]

It don't matter what game I'm from... I don't remember anyway. I wasn't there long enough. And I don't like your tone. [[I think you need a tutorial on proper manners, Relafui.->Soldier End1 pp. 3,1]] [[I'm sorry, Relafui, you'd have made a fantastic character in your game.->Soldier End1 pp. 3,2]]

It was a goddamn broken tutorial! They updated it after me but I'm stuck here. And I don't like your tone. [[I think you need a tutorial on proper manners, Relafui.->Soldier End1 pp. 3,1]] [[I'm sorry, Relafui, you'd have made a fantastic character in your game.->Soldier End1 pp. 3,2]]

Don't patronise me! You think you're all high and mighty but look where you've ended up... Right next to me. I think that you need to be taught a [[//lesson.//->End 1]]

But I didn't! Easy for you to say. You've seen the action, you were a part of your game. I was just the victim. I know when I'm the butt of the joke and I think you need to be taught a [[''//lesson//''->End 1]]

//''Then it all went black.''//

Don't go in the cubicle, Private. We need you ready for battle. That box'll invoke a dishonorable discharge, effective immediately. [[I'm sure one look won't hurt->End 1]] [[Sorry, Corporal. Let's go and find Avil for our mission briefing.->Soldier End 2]]

Don't go in there! You'll disappear. Dishonorable discharge, effective immediately. [[I'm sure one look won't hurt->End 1]] [[Sorry, Corporal. Let's go and find Avil for our mission briefing.->Soldier End 2]]

Very good, Private, very good. Our call to the frontline will be [[any day now.->Soldier End 2,1]]

''//The End//''

Hmm. I think that you will get along just fine with the rest of the drivers around the paddock. Follow me, I'll show you around. [[*Follow Michael*->Racer pp. 13]]

Nice one, Rookie. I can see you shaping up to be a fierce rival. Follow me, I'll show you around. [[*Follow Mike*->Racer pp. 13]]

//Avil has disappeared along with the door that you came through. It's quiet. Mike pulls up the garage shutters of the room that you are in. It opens out to glorious sunshine and an empty viewing grandstand. You look both ways along the pit lane and see nothing but perfectly laid tarmac. None of the garages are occupied by cars or their accompanying engineers and there is not a single tyre in sight. Most of the pit garages are open, some with men and women in racing overalls sat around on beds and at tables. You wonder why there are beds in the garages. You try and listen for the sound of a distant V8 completing its lap but all you can hear is the sound of the wind howling through the wire fences on the outside of sweeping corners.// [[Where are the cars?->Racer pp. 13,1]] [[*Keep following Mike*->Racer pp. 14]]

They'll be here any day now. They're still in transit. It's quite a way from the last venue. I can't wait to put some laps in around here. It looks like a fantastic circuit. [[Next->Racer pp. 14]]

This is our garage. Feel free to grab a bunk. We're all fairly keen racers so we sleep track side in case our cars arrive in the middle of the night. Everyone is friendly here, they'll all say hello. I'll go and grab us a cuppa. [[*Explore*->Racer pp. 15]]

//The rest of the racers in the garage seemed to be less enthusiastic than Mike. One of them lay on a bunk, resting his feet on his helmet at the end of his bed. He was reading Count Dracula. The other three were sat around a table playing cards.// [[Mind if I join your card game?->Racer Card Game Set Up]] [[How's the book?->Racer pp. 15,2]] [[Where the hell am I?->Racer pp. 15,3]]

I'll be honest. When you've read any book from cover to cover thirty-five times, it's rather difficult to say anything nice. [[I think I'll join the card game.->Racer Card Game Set Up]] [[Where the hell am I?->Racer pp. 15,3]]

A question we've all asked. Questions answer themselves around here. You don't have to be asking any questions too much. Take a seat. Let's play some cards. [[Next->Racer Card Game Set Up]]

''8 Diamonds and 7 Clubs'' [[How did you all find yourself here?->Racer Card Game V1]] [[Is this what you guys do?->Racer Card Game V2]]

Fletch was black flagged and Green was caught up in a huge pile up. As for me... I was taken out by my teammate. But I ain't bitter like them two keep sayin'. What you you doin', Rookie? Stick or twist? [[Stick->Racer Card Game V1 Stick]] [[Twist->Racer Card Game V1 Twist]]

Pretty much. Avil might bring us something new every once in a while. We asked her for some go karts and she disappered on us for over a week. We think twice about what we ask her for now. What you doin', Rookie. Stick or Twist? [[Stick->Racer Card Game V1 Stick]] [[Twist->Racer Card Game V1 Twist]]

We'll be going to inter-mortem soon. Or, as Mike calls it, 'Race Briefing'. You'll find plenty of crazies there. Best to stick with us. All right then. What's everybody got? [[*Show cards*-> Racer Card Game V1 Stick Reveal]]

''8 diamonds, 7 Clubs and 5 Clubs'' We'll be going to inter-mortem soon. Or, as Mike calls it, 'Race Briefing'. You'll find plenty of crazies there. Best to stick with us. You goin' again? [[Stick->Racer Card Game V1 Twist Stick]] [[Twist->Racer Card Game V1 Twist Twist]]

Fifteen, not too bad, Rookie. I can see that you two are both bust. I've got Twenty-One on the dot. I win again. [[What's that in your sleeve?->Racer Card Game Cheat]] [[Well done, Malarky.->Racer Card Game Well Done]]

Always a good idea to play it safe for your first couple of games. Alright then, what everybody got? [[*Show your cards*->Racer Card Game V1 Twist Stick Reveal]]

''8 Diamonds, 7 Clubs, 5 Clubs and 2 Hearts'' BUST! What's everyone else got? [[Next->Racer Card Game V1 Twist Twist Reveal]]

Twenty, pretty good, Rookie. I can see that you two are both bust. I've got Twenty-One on the dot. I win again. [[What's that in your sleeve?->Racer Card Game Cheat]] [[Well done, Malarky.->Racer Card Game Well Done]]

Hard luck, Rookie. I can see that you two are both bust too. I've got Twenty-One on the dot. I win again. [[What's that in your sleeve?->Racer Card Game Cheat]] [[Well done, Malarky->Racer Card Game Well Done]]

What's what in my sleeve? I don't know what you are talking about. [[Next->Racer pp. 16]]

Thank you, Rookie. Better luck next time 'ay. [[Next->Racer pp. 16]]

I hope I'm not interupting. Are you all ready for inter-mortem? [[Next->Racer pp. 17]]

You're not interupting at all, Avil. We were just finishing up our nice //fair// game of cards. [[We're ready to go->Racer pp. 18]] [[What about Mike?->Racer pp. 17,1]]

//A door opens behind Avil in the middle of the pit garage. Malarky heads through first followed by the rest of you. "I'm feeling lucky today. I think we will be racing soon," says Mike. You file into a giant hall. Hundreds of Avils are holding hundreds of doors for thousands of disgruntled souls as they fill the room. Once everyone is through the door, Avil closes it and it vanishes. The ceiling is so high that it feels like the outdoors. There is a faint breeze that seems to come from no where as everyone begins to cluster near benches and tables dotted around the hall. You see Mike wandering from group to group. He talks to them about tyre pressure and fuel efficiency. Malarky ushers you to an empty table along the edge of the hall.// [[So what do we do now?->Racer pp. 18,1]] [[What is this place?->Racer pp. 18,2]] [[*Sit in silence*-> Racer pp. 18,3]]

Here, Rookie. Hello, boss. Any news from the race officials? I'm itching to get out on track. [[Next->Racer pp. 17,2]]

I am waiting back to hear from the... //Racing Officials// for confirmation of the next event. Always great to hear that you're ready to race, Michael. Everyone ready? [[Next->Racer pp. 18]]

Nothing, most often than not. Most o'this lot are as mad as a box o'frogs. It ain't even worth saying hello to them. We're speaking in the same room but we're a million realities apart. So many of them are yet to realise that they were just in a game. By the time you got here, Avil and Orcus do a fairly good job at helping with the transition. It took me months to fully comprehend what was happening. [[What is this place?->Racer pp. 18,1,1]] [[*Sit in silence*->Racer pp. 18,1,2]]

They call it inter-mortem. It's a chance to meet other people from different... Backgrounds. Over their you've got failed Guitar Hero attempts. They have redefined the term, 'tone-deaf'. And that lot over their are whited out Pokemon trainers. They're a determined bunch, I'll give them that. [[So what do we do now?->Racer pp. 18,2,1]] [[*Sit in silence*->Racer pp. 18,2,2]]

Now you're getting the hang of it, Private. We'll be back in our pit garage soon enough. [[So what do we do now?->Racer pp. 18,3,1]] [[What is this place?->Racer pp. 18,3,2]]

Now you're getting the hang of it, Rookie. We'll be back in our garage soon enough. [[*Continue sitting in silence*->Racer pp. 19]] [[What is this place?->Racer pp. 18,1,1]]

Now you're getting the hang of it, Rookie. We'll be back in our garage soon enough. [[So what do we do now?->Racer pp. 18,2,1]] [[*Continue to sit in silence*->Racer pp. 19]]

Oh no. No, no, no, no! That's Relafui, he's coming this way. [[Who's Relafui?->Racer End1 pp. 1]] [[*Pretend to be distracted by the black cubicle across the hall*->Racer End2 pp. 1]]

He got here after failing his tutorial. He's an angry guy. He's coming. [[Next->Racer End1 pp. 2]]

Where you off to, rookie? [[What's this black cubicle?->Racer End2 pp. 2]] [[Just having a look around.->Racer End2 pp. 2,1]]

What you racers talking about? Reminiscing on memories of epic overtakes and the ever-lasting feeling of winning? Can't relate. [[What game are //you// from?->Racer End1 pp. 2,1]] [[We were just talking about you. How did you manage to fail a tutorial?->Racer End1 pp. 2,2]]

It don't matter what game I'm from... I don't remember anyway. I wasn't there long enough. And I don't like your tone. [[I think you need a tutorial on proper manners, Relafui.->Racer End1 pp. 3,1]] [[I'm sorry, Relafui, you'd have made a fantastic character in your game.->Racer End1 pp. 3,2]]

It was a goddamn broken tutorial! They updated it after me but I'm stuck here. And I don't like your tone. [[I think you need a tutorial on proper manners, Relafui.->Racer End1 pp. 3,1]] [[I'm sorry, Relafui, you'd have made a fantastic character in your game.->Racer End1 pp. 3,2]]

Don't patronise me! You think you're all high and mighty but look where you've ended up... Right next to me. I think that you need to be taught a [[//lesson.//->End 1]]

Don't go in the cubicle, Rookie. We need you ready for the race weekend. That box'll black flag you, there is no coming back. [[I'm sure one look won't hurt->End 1]] [[Sorry, Mike. Let's go and find Avil for our mission briefing.->Racer End 2]]

Don't go in there! You'll disappear. Black flag, there's no coming back. [[I'm sure one look won't hurt->End 1]] [[Sorry, Michael. Let's go and find Avil for our mission briefing.->Racer End 2]]

Nice one, Rookie. We have a race weekend to look forward to [[any day now.->Soldier End 2,1]]

Here we are. Any questions? [[No->Italian pp.8]] [[How long am I here for?->Italian How long am I here for]] [[Who are you?->Italian Who are you]] [[What is this? A prison for the afterlife?->Italian What is this]]

Right then. In you go. It shan't be long before we shall be having, what we like to call, //inter-mortem social time.// [[Next->Italian pp.9]]

You can be here for as long as you like. Some have stayed for decades, other minutes. I think that it is best that you speak to your new neighbours about it. Any more [[questions?->Italian Any more questions]]

Good morning, m'lady. [[Next->Italian pp.10]]

[[I have no more questions->Italian pp.8]] [[How long am I here for?->Italian How long am I here for]] [[Who are you?->Italian Who are you]] [[What is this? A prison for the afterlife?->Italian What is this]]

Good morning, Michael. How is the mushroom garden? Flourishing as always I expect? [[Next->Italian pp. 11]]

Mushrooms galore, m'lady. Any news about the princess? You must be as worried as I am. Once we find that nasty shelled-monster's castle, we shall be storming it immediately. Ya-hoo, you have brought me a new friend! Nice to meet you, friend, my name is Michael but all of my friends call me Mike. [[Hello, Mike.->Italian pp. 12]] [[Hello, Michael.->Italian pp. 12,1]]

Nice to meet you friend. Always wonderful to add another to the ranks in our united effort to save the princess. I'd love to show you around, new friend. [[*Follow Mike*->Italian pp. 13]]

Oh come on, friend, we are all friends here! Only the princess shall call me Michael, for she is much more than a friend. I'd love to show you around, friend. [[*Follow Mike*->Italian pp. 13]]

//Avil has disappeared along with the door that you came through. You are surrounded by bold colours and happily dancing trees in a pink meadow. There are several paths that branch off to mushroom patches and little huts with little tortoise and white and red toadstools with faces that are sitting on the window sills. Yellow caterpillars are nestled in tiny clouds that float by. They are too far away for you to call to them. Mike seems to bounce along the path, humming an enthusiatic tune that is synchronised with every step. [[Why is everyting so soft?->Italian pp. 13,1]] [[Next->Italian pp. 14]]

Here we are. This our own little hut. We share it with our other friends, Malarky, Fletch, Green and Doat. But don't worry about remembering their names, just remember that they are our friends. I'm off to tend the mushroom patch. I'll be back soon. [[*Explore*->Italian pp. 15]]

I'm not quite sure what you mean, friend. Do you mean to say that you wish to be uncomfortable? It is no use complaining about an excess of goodness. The green-shelled monster could take it away at any moment. This is the Mushroom Kingdom in its most natural form. [[Next->Italian pp. 14]]

//The rest of the 'friends' in the cottage seemed to be less sprightly than Mike. One of them lay on a bed, resting his feet at the end of it. He was reading Count Dracula. The other three were sat around a table playing cards.// [[Mind if I join your card game?->Italian Card Game Set Up]] [[How's the book?->Italian pp. 15,2]] [[Where the hell am I?->Italian pp. 15,3]]

I'll be honest. When you've read any book from cover to cover thirty-five times, it's rather difficult to say anything nice. [[I think I'll join the card game.->Italian Card Game Set Up]] [[Where the hell am I?->Italian pp. 15,3]]

A question we've all asked. Questions answer themselves around here. You don't have to be asking any questions too much. Let's play some cards. [[Next->Italian Card Game Set Up]]

''8 Diamonds and 7 Clubs'' [[How did you all find yourself here?->Italian Card Game V1]] [[Is this what you guys do?->Italian Card Game V2]]

Fletch fell into a bottomless pit and Green was burnt alive by one of the green-shelled monster's right-hand men. As for me... I was taken out by a backfiring shell. But I ain't bitter like them two keep sayin', I just didn't expect it to come back at me so fast. What you you doin'? Stick or twist? [[Stick->Italian Card Game V1 Stick]] [[Twist->Italian Card Game V1 Twist]]

Pretty much. Avil might bring us something new every once in a while. We heard that some of our lot came from kart racing so we asked for some karts and a track or two but she disappered on us for over a week. We think twice about what we ask her for now. What you doin'. Stick or Twist? [[Stick->Italian Card Game V1 Stick]] [[Twist->Italian Card Game V1 Twist]]

We'll be going to inter-mortem soon. Or, as Mike calls it, 'Rescue Planning'. You'll find plenty of crazies there. Best to stick with us. All right then. What's everybody got? [[*Show cards*->Italian Card Game V1 Stick Reveal]]

''8 diamonds, 7 Clubs and 5 Clubs'' We'll be going to inter-mortem soon. Or, as Mike calls it, 'Rescue Planning'. You'll find plenty of crazies there. Best to stick with us. You goin' again? [[Stick->Italian Card Game V1 Twist Stick]] [[Twist->Italian Card Game V1 Twist Twist]]

Fifteen, not too bad. I can see that you two are both bust. I've got Twenty-One on the dot. I win again. [[What's that in your sleeve?->Italian Card Game Cheat]] [[Well done, Malarky.->Italian Card Game Well Done]]

Always a good idea to play it safe for your first couple of games. Alright then, what everybody got? [[*Show your cards*->Italian Card Game V1 Twist Stick Reveal]]

''8 Diamonds, 7 Clubs, 5 Clubs and 2 Hearts'' BUST! What's everyone else got? [[Next->Italian Card Game V1 Twist Twist Reveal]]

Twenty, pretty good, Rookie. I can see that you two are both bust. I've got Twenty-One on the dot. I win again. [[What's that in your sleeve?->Italian Card Game Cheat]] [[Well done, Malarky.->Italian Card Game Well Done]]

Hard luck, Rookie. I can see that you two are both bust too. I've got Twenty-One on the dot. I win again. [[What's that in your sleeve?->Italian Card Game Cheat]] [[Well done, Malarky->Italian Card Game Well Done]]

What's what in my sleeve? I don't know what you are talking about. [[Next->Italian pp. 16]]

Thank you. Better luck next time 'ay. [[Next->Italian pp. 16]]

I hope I'm not interupting. Are you all ready for inter-mortem? [[Next->Italian pp. 17]]

You're not interupting at all, Avil. We were just finishing up our nice //fair// game of cards. [[We're ready to go->Italian pp. 18]] [[What about Mike?->Italian pp. 17,1]]

//A door opens behind Avil in the middle of the pit garage. Malarky heads through first followed by the rest of you. "That green-shelled monster will get what's coming to him," says Mike. You file into a giant hall. Hundreds of Avils are holding hundreds of doors for thousands of disgruntled souls as they fill the room. Once everyone is through the door, Avil closes it and it vanishes. The ceiling is so high that it feels like the outdoors. There is a faint breeze that seems to come from no where as everyone begins to cluster near benches and tables dotted around the hall. You see Mike wandering from group to group. He asks them for advice on growing mushrooms. Malarky ushers you to an empty table along the edge of the hall.// [[So what do we do now?->Italian pp. 18,1]] [[What is this place?->Italian pp. 18,2]] [[*Sit in silence*->Italian pp. 18,3]]

Here, friend. Hello, m'lady. Any news on the whereabouts of the castle? We must be getting close?. [[Next->Italian pp. 17,2]]

We have several scouts on the hunt for the castle, no need to worry about the progress of it all, Michael. Please enjoy the serenity of your little village. Everyone ready? [[Next->Italian pp. 18]]

Nothing, most often than not. Most o'this lot are as mad as a box o'frogs. It ain't even worth saying hello to them. We're speaking in the same room but we're a million realities apart. So many of them are yet to realise that they were just in a game. By the time you got here, Avil and Orcus do a fairly good job at helping with the transition. It took me months to fully comprehend what was happening. [[What is this place?->Italian pp. 18,1,1]] [[*Sit in silence*->Italian pp. 18,1,2]]

They call it inter-mortem. It's a chance to meet other people from different... Backgrounds. Over their you've got failed Guitar Hero attempts. They have redefined the term, 'tone-deaf'. And that lot over their are whited out Pokemon trainers. They're a determined bunch, I'll give them that. [[So what do we do now?->Italian pp. 18,2,1]] [[*Sit in silence*->Italian pp. 18,2,2]]

Now you're getting the hang of it. We'll be back in our cottage soon enough. [[So what do we do now?->Italian pp. 18,3,1]] [[What is this place?->Italian pp. 18,3,2]]

They call it inter-mortem. It's a chance to meet other people from different... Backgrounds. Over their you've got failed Guitar Hero attempts. They have single-handedly redefined the term tone-deaf. And that lot over their are whited out Pokemon trainers. They're a determined bunch, I'll give them that. [[Next->Italian pp. 19]]

Now you're getting the hang of it. We'll be back in our cottage soon enough. [[*Continue sitting in silence*->Italian pp. 19]] [[What is this place?->Italian pp. 18,1,1]]

Now you're getting the hang of it, Rookie. We'll be back in our cottage soon enough. [[So what do we do now?->Italian pp. 18,2,1]] [[*Continue to sit in silence*->Italian pp. 19]]

Oh no. No, no, no, no! That's Relafui, he's coming this way. [[Who's Relafui?->Italian End1 pp. 1]] [[*Pretend to be distracted by the black cubicle across the hall*->Italian End2 pp. 1]]

He got here after failing his tutorial. He's an angry guy. He's coming. [[Next->Italian End1 pp. 2]]

Where you off to, friend? [[What's this black cubicle?->Italian End2 pp. 2]] [[Just having a look around.->Italian End2 pp. 2,1]]

What you mushroom munchers talking about? Reminiscing on memories of epic speedruns and the ever-lasting feeling of winning? Can't relate. [[What game are //you// from?->Italian End1 pp. 2,1]] [[We were just talking about you. How did you manage to fail a tutorial?->Italian End1 pp. 2,2]]

It don't matter what game I'm from... I don't remember anyway. I wasn't there long enough. And I don't like your tone. [[I think you need a tutorial on proper manners, Relafui.->Italian End1 pp. 3,1]] [[I'm sorry, Relafui, you'd have made a fantastic character in your game.->Italian End1 pp. 3,2]]

It was a goddamn broken tutorial! They updated it after me but I'm stuck here. And I don't like your tone. [[I think you need a tutorial on proper manners, Relafui.->Italian End1 pp. 3,1]] [[I'm sorry, Relafui, you'd have made a fantastic character in your game.->Italian End1 pp. 3,2]]

Don't patronise me! You think you're all high and mighty but look where you've ended up... Right next to me. I think that you need to be taught a [[//lesson.//->End 1]]

Don't go in the cubicle, friend. We need you for when we save the princess! That box'll take all of your lives away, there is no coming back. [[I'm sure one look won't hurt->End 1]] [[Sorry, Mike. Let's go and find Avil for our mission briefing.->Italian End 2]]

Don't go in there! You'll disappear forever. There's no coming back. [[I'm sure one look won't hurt->End 1]] [[Sorry, Michael. Let's go and find Avil for our mission briefing.->Italian End 2]]

Thank you, friend. Now lets go and [[save our princess!->Soldier End 2,1]]

Excellent. I'm sure that you will fit in perfectly here. Please follow me. [[*Follow Avil*->Italian Plumber pp. 6]]

Excellent. I'm sure that you will fit in perfectly here. Please follow me. [[*Follow Avil*->Soldier pp. 6]]

Excellent. I'm sure that you will fit in perfectly here. Please follow me. [[*Follow Avil*->Racer pp. 6]]