I've had a very long day at school. None of my classes were interesting and I just wasted 7 hours of my day sitting and staring at a wall. I have some homework but I don't remember when it's due. Oh well. Now's the time to [[relax.->Menu]]
(set: $tv to false)
(set: $game to false)
(set: $eat to false)
(set: $nap to false)
(set: $clean to false)
(set: $freezer to false)
(set: $chili to false)
(set: $mcd to false)
(set: $cc to 0)What should I watch?
[[Regular tv.]]
[[Netflix.]]What kind of games should I play?
[[Relaxing.]]
[[Shooter.]]
[[Something stupid on my phone.]](if: $eat is false)[I could go for something to eat. But //what// to eat is the tricky part. This is usually the hardest part of my day.](else:)[I always eat when I'm bored]
[[Cook.]]
[[Go get something.]]
Zzzzzz...
(live: 3s)[Zzzzzz...]
(live: 6s)[Zzzzzz...]
(live: 9s)[Zzzzzz...]
(live: 12s)[Zzzzzz...]
(live: 15s)[ [[Oh shit.]] ]I flip aimlessly through channels, and settle on a [[car restoration show]]. It was either that or reruns of [[Pawn Stars.]]
I open netflix and endlessly scroll for 30 minutes before inevitably watching [[The Office]] from where I left off. I usually don't pay attention to it because I've already seen every episode a number of times. It still makes good background noise for going on my phone.
This sounds like a nice way to unwind, something low-pressure and not competetive. Maybe a puzzle game, or just something casual.
[[Breath of the Wild]]
[[Super Mario Odyssey]]
[[Untitled Goose Game]]
I have a whole bunch of shooting games to choose from. I haven't been playing video games as much because they just aren't as exciting now. These types of games are way more fun with friends too, but none of mine would be online.
[[Force myself to play a dumb shooter.->dumbshooter]]
[[Play something else.->Play video games.]]
Ah yes, mobile games, the pinnacle of quality design and narrative. When it comes to my phone, I only do a few things: Read random articles, go on social media, or play stupid phone games. Games are fun, but I also love the rush I get from refreshing my instagram feed repeatedly and looking at the same pictures over and over.
[[Instagram time, baby.]]
[[Play a dumb phone game.]]
[[Educate myself on why Tesla's stock is dropping.->article]]
[[Educate myself on why Tesla is also doing amazing.->article]]
I'm not sure what to cook. Should I look in the [[fridge]] or the [[cupboard]] for something tasty?There's a couple fast food places close to my house, or I could drive a little farther and go get a deli sandwich from my favorite place. But choosing is so haaaaaaaaard. I want instant gratification but am too lazy to drive or cook. Life is hard.
[[Look in the freezer.]]
[[Get in my car and go next door to McDonald's.]]There's absolutely nothing appetizing in there. However, out of the corner of my eye, I spot some goodies in the deli drawer. I reach my bare hand into a bag of salami to pull out a few slices, and I grab a string cheese to go along with it.
Mmmmmmm...(click-append: "Mmmmmmm...")[ ⛥Ş̵̘͕̤̲͇͉̼͚̯̥̼̝͍͔̗̞̙͖̲͓͋̆̽̍̈́̽͊̏̉̽̈́̾̋̇̇̿̇̕͜͝A̵̧̮̯̗̬̅͆͛̀̾̈̉̄̉́̾͑͊̔̾̈́͑̊́̄̃͘͠͝L̷̬͈̫̆̂̒̒̂̍̄̔͌̀͐̎̂̚̕À̸̧̡̨̡̛͍͕̦̜̥̬͍͆̑̓́̋̿̌͛̆̄̔̊̑̍͘M̷̡̨̢̛̤͓̞̖͚̥̫̻̩̜̟͎̞̣̹̹̗̯̤̖̩̲͂̅̈́̇̆̔̆̔̈́̌͌̍̓͒̓̓͂͛̋͆̃̅̕̕͜͜͝͝͠I̷̧̛̠̲̲͎̲̟̪͎̓̉̑͊̀̇̀̈́̓̉́̓͆̇̐̇̾̋͠ ̸̛̞̪̱̫̳͈͚͖̠̱̼͔̗̲̫̜͇̭͍̘̻̪͍̑͗̃͂̔̓͂̾̒̋̃̋̈́̍̐̆́͆̃̑̓̃͗͗ͅ⛥̵̨̛͚̖̊̊̈́̓̈́͑̇͛͑̃͒̋̒̄̈́̾̈́͆̀͘ ⛥]
I'm still hungry though.
[[Check the freezer.->Look in the freezer.]]
[[Check the cupboard.->cupboard]]
(if: $chili is false)[Perhaps I shall partake in a can of chili. Cracking open a can of chili and heating it up slowly on the stove is the pinnacle of fine dining. Maybe I should crack a bottle of wine to enjoy with my delicious meal. Perhaps a fine Zinfandel or Cabernet Sauvignon (2009 was a good year) would make an excellent pairing for my beef morsels and slow cooked bean medley in a hearty tomato and herb reduction.
That hits the spot.
Now I can get back to procrastinating.](else:)[I can't eat more chili, that's too depressing. Two cans in a day? One is bad enough.]
(link: "back.")[(set: $chili to true)(goto: "Menu")]
(set: $eat to true)
(set: $cc to it + 1)
(if: $freezer is false)[Mmmmm yes a frozen Amy's bean and cheese burrito. The organic beans and cheese lend themselves beautifully to the whole wheat tortilla they are so tenderly wrapped up in. I expertly pop one of these bad boys out of their packaging and slap it onto a plate, microwaving for NO MORE and NO LESS than 65 seconds, only to flip and repeat for the same amount of time. Afterwards, a heavy dousing of hot sauce is recommended.
I am satiated.
Now I can waste more time.]
(else:)[It is completeley barren.]
(set: $eat to true)
(link: "back.")[(set: $freezer to true)(goto: "Menu")]
(set: $cc to it + 1)
(if: $cc is 0)[What should I do now?](else-if: $cc is 1)[Nice that was fun, and plenty of time left in the day!](else-if: $cc is 2)[Hmmm what else should I do? Anything but homework.](else-if: $cc is 3)[I Don't want to start homework yet. Maybe I won't even do it. Who knows.](else-if: $cc is 4)[Hmmmm it's starting to get late... time to do something fun!](else-if: $cc is 5)[Am I hungry? All I know is I'm not hungry for homework, YUCK!](else-if: $cc is 6)[Sooooooo booooored.](else-if: $cc is 7)[Maybe I should try and start my homework soon.](else-if: $cc is >= 8)[Wow I really need to start, it's pretty late. But maybe...]
(if: ($tv is true) and ($game is true) and ($eat is true))[ [[Start on some homework->Start homework.]] ](else:)[~~Start on some homework.~~]
(if: $tv is false)[ [[Watch tv.]]](else:)[ [[Watch more tv.->Watch tv.]]]
(if: $game is false)[ [[Play video games.]]](else:)[ [[Play more games.->Play video games.]]]
(if: $eat is false)[ [[Eat something.]]](else:)[ [[Eat MORE.->Eat something.]]]
(if: $nap is false)[ [[Take a nap.]]](else:)[I feel refreshed.]
(if: $clean is false)[ [[Clean my room.]]](else:)[Now my room is nice and clean!]
I never do this, but with desperate times come desperate measures. My room is only slightly messy, but now, when I happen to have homework that needs to get done, I have decided this is the perfect time to clean.
There are [[clothes]] on the floor, [[trash]] that needs to be taken out, and my [[desk]] needs to be organized.
[[Start cleaning.]]OH SHIT I FORGOT IT WAS DUE TONIGHT OH NO OH GOD I GOTTA[[ START]]
(if: ($nap is false) and ($clean is false))[(set: $counter to 25)]
(if: ($nap is true) or ($clean is true))[(set: $counter to 20)]
(if: ($nap is true) and ($clean is true))[(set: $counter to 15)](link-reveal: "... ")[Are you still watching "The Office"?
[[Continue watching ->The Office]]
[[Back]]
]
Screw homework, binging a series is way more fun.
[[back.->Menu]]
(set: $tv to true)
(set: $cc to it + 1)I haven't played my xbox in a year, and the thick layer of dust on top shows that. I scroll through my games list before I reluctantly decide to open Destiny. I do a patrol mission then realize there's better things I could do to waste my time.
[[back->Play video games.]]
(set: $game to true)
(set: $cc to it + 1)Wow I forgot this is addicting, it's been nearly 2 hours. This game isn't even fun, it just drives me to keep playing, it's kind of scary? Is this good design? Or something far more dangerous?
(set: $game to true)
[[back.->Menu]]
(set: $cc to it + 1)As I expected, I keep refreshing my feed to see the same photos. I begin the endless cycle of opening Instagram, then opening Snapchat, then Facebook, and starting again. I see for the 10th time on Instagram that an old friend I haven't talked to in years just got a new puppy. Nice.
(set: $game to true)
[[back.->Menu]]
(set: $cc to it + 1)That was a little longer than I hoped, but naps are so wonderful. I probably just destroyed my sleep schedule, but it was worth it.
(set: $nap to true)
[[back.->Menu]]
(set: $cc to it + 1)A Fabulously relaxing game. I love just walking around and exploring the beautiful world. It makes me happy. But then I glide down from a mountain top and land with a striking blow on a lynel. I jump into the air and fire a flurry of arrows straight into its chiseled Lion/Centaur abs. It's haunting bellow has so much power it knocks me off my feet. Then it hits me once and I die.
[[Game Over->Menu]]
(set: $game to true)
(set: $cc to it + 1)An incredible 3d platformer! Nintendo outdid themselves with this one. The mechanics are great, the game looks good, and there's so much to do and collect! I felt really connected to the game when Mario says YAHOO YIPEE HAHAA WAHOOOOO WOAHHH HAHA MAMA MIAAAAA OKIE DOKIE YAHOO.
(set: $game to true)
[[back.->Menu]]
(set: $cc to it + 1)(text-style: "rumble")[Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk]
(set: $game to true)
[[back.->Menu]]
(set: $cc to it + 1)There's a Ratatouille movie shirt and the same pair of pants I've been wearing every day just laying on the ground. I love my Ratatouille shirt, it's my favorite movie, and you never see people wearing Ratatouille stuff. It always gets tons of looks.
[[back.->Clean my room.]] My trashcan is overflowing from the loose paper and food wrappers I have shoved into it. Every day I stomp it down a little more, but if I don't empty it soon it will inevitably take over my room.
[[back.->Clean my room.]] This is the worst part. My desk is made of black glass, so it shows dust like crazy. There's multiple glass cups, and tons of random shit that I dont have a place for just sitting there, like my W-2 from last year and a Pacman amiibo.
[[back.->Clean my room.]] I spend an hour organizing everything and making sure to not do my homework. Cleaning your room is only fun when you have other things to do.
(set: $clean to true)
[[back.->Menu]]
(set: $cc to it + 1)I like watching these. I get so much satisfaction from seeing a rusty old car turn into something amazing. I wish I could get a project car. This episode they are restoring a 1970 Datsun 240Z, and are rebuilding the original L24 motor and upgrading it to a triple carb set up. Nice.
[[back.->Menu]]
(set: $tv to true)
(set: $cc to it + 1)I don't know why I always get recommended articles about Tesla. I don't like them that much and I'll never be able to afford one. Yet somehow, I read these articles without fail everytime they are in my feed. Does Google know something about me that I don't know about myself? I hate it when I think about a very specific thing and then it shows up in an article a couple hours later. Like how do they know that shit? Fuck that. Stop recommending Tesla articles and reading my mind.
(set: $game to true)
[[back.->Menu]]
(set: $cc to it + 1)|amount>[$counter] seconds left.
Oh god I gotta grab my school stuff I think I can still finish in time. (click-replace: "Oh god I gotta grab my school stuff I think I can still finish in time.")[No, I need to focus.] Let's see, I have a chapter to read and a response to write on it, which I really don't want to do but it needs to get done.(click-replace: "Let's see, I have a chapter to read and a response to write on it, which I really don't want to do but it needs to get done.")[I can't keep doing this to myself.] I have art I need to make but that's due tommorow evening I think I can get that done tonight too so I can relax tommorow.(click-replace: "I have art I need to make but that's due tommorow evening I think I can get that done tonight too so I can relax tommorow.")[Why can't I just make myself do work.] [[ It's all about tradeoffs. I relaxed earlier but I relaxed too much so now I will suffer for it.->right]] I gotta figure out what to do first.(click-replace: " I gotta figure out what to do first.")[...]
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(set: $counter to it - 1)
(if: $counter is 0)[(go-to: "fail")]
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]|amount>[$counter] seconds left.
Ok good, one thing out of the way.(click-replace: "Ok good, one thing out of the way.")[I dont want to do this anymore.] So now I should probably start my art homework. (click-replace: "So now I should probably start my art homework.")[I'm tired from doing nothing.] I've been holding off on that one because I just haven't been inspired, maybe I'll make a -(click-replace: "I've been holding off on that one because I just haven't been inspired, maybe I'll make a -")[Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh.] OH SHIT I HAD MATH TOO, DAMMIT I THOUGHT I WAS ALMOST DONE. NOW I'M GOING TO STAY UP SUPER LATE TO FINISH THAT. FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.(click-replace: "OH SHIT I HAD MATH TOO, DAMMIT I THOUGHT I WAS ALMOST DONE. NOW I'M GOING TO STAY UP SUPER LATE TO FINISH THAT. FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.")[I DONT WANT TO PRACTICE INTEGRATION TECHNIQUES.] Ugh ok I'll do that now it's more important and probably takes longer.(click-replace: "Ugh ok I'll do that now it's more important and probably takes longer.")[ :( ] [[Oh well, guess I won't get to relax more tonight.->right2]]
(live: 1s)[
(set: $counter to it - 1)
(if: $counter is 0)[(go-to: "fail")]
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]|amount>[$counter] seconds left.
I'm so close.
(click-append: "I'm so close.")[ Almost done.]
(click-append: "Almost done.")[ Keep going!]
(click-append: "Keep going!")[ I can do this!]
(click-append: "I can do this!")[ Boom, math done!]
(click-append: "Boom, math done!")[ Now for art.]
(click-append: "Now for art.")[ I'm suddenly inspired, I'm forcing myself to be.]
(click-append: "I'm suddenly inspired, I'm forcing myself to be.")[ So closeeeee...]
(click-append: "So closeeeee...")[ [[DONE]]]
(live: 1s)[
(set: $counter to it - 1)
(if: $counter is 0)[(go-to: "fail")]
(replace: ?amount)[$counter]
]Thank god...
Now I can ''finally'' relax.I don't think I can finish in time. Should I just give up?
[[Try again->Start homework.]]
[[Quit]]I give up. I'm just gonna skip it. I just can't do it. I need to relax...I'M RICK HARRISON, AND THIS IS MY PAWN SHOP. I WORK HERE WITH MY OLD MAN AND MY SON, "BIG HOSS". EVERYTHING IN HERE HAS A STORY AND A PRICE. ONE THING I'VE LEARNED AFTER 21 YEARS - YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IS GONNA COME THROUGH THAT DOOR.
I can't handle this. I'm gonna watch the [[car show.->car restoration show]] (if: $mcd is false)[MMMMMMMM yes BORGER. I hop in my car and speed across the intersection to Mickey D's. I get a double quarter pounder and a large fry because I hate myself, but only a medium coke because a large is just too much soda. Also I have to get hot mustard with it because that's my favorite sauce from there.](else:)[I'm not a monster, I cant go again.]
(set: $eat to true)
(link: "back.")[(set: $mcd to true)(goto: "Menu")]
(set: $cc to it + 1)