there's a bear outside

There's a bear outside and it's looking in the window. You can't tell what kind of bear it is but it looks very large and is covered in black fur. It cocks its head slightly as you come into view. [[look out the window]] [[close the curtain]] [[ask it what it wants]]

It sits so still as you approach the window. You still can't tell what kind of bear it is, maybe it's a hybrid? You don't know if that's possible but then again, you don't know much about bears beyond the fact that the signs told you not to provoke, feed, or otherwise bother them. You've never seen a bear this close before. what should you do? [[close the curtain]] [[keep looking]] [[open the window]] [[hunt]] [[take a picture]]

That's quite enough of that. The local wildlife can stay out of your business. [[start your day]] [[wait for the bear to leave]]

You lean on the sill and admire the bear for a while, feeling safe with the glass barrier between you, and the animal mirrors your posture until you're basically nose to nose. The bear's fur is such a glossy blue-black that you can't help but focus on the small golden eyes staring back at you and Huh. Is this just what bear eyes look like close up? Maybe it's blind? You're no woodland optometrist, but that would explain why its snout is jammed against the glass hard enough to pull stress creaks out of the surrounding wood. The sound about sends a chill down your spine and you Wait. That's not. Did the temp drop a few? You look up and the other windows are now dark. The only remaining light is quickly disappearing around the expanding silhouette of the bear in front of you. Oh. [[get out of there]] [[don't look away]]

You go about your day as usual, but change your plans slightly to stay inside. It's not really safe to hike down to the lake with a bear that bold wandering around. You pick a book off the self (most of them seem to be both from the same dude and written some time in the 70's if the covers are any indication) and settle in. As you sink into a tale of a jewel heist gone wrong, you pointedly ignore the shadow of the bear still at the window. It fades as the sun goes down and the woods go dark. It's there again in the morning. There's a bear outside. [[wait some more]]

The eyes are the only light now. They glint with some inner glow, a false eye-shine that just lets you make out the black hide stretched to fragmenting across the window. Organs pulse gently around islands of fur while slivers of bone clink rhythmically against the glass. The bear's gaze is still focused on you. [[put a hand to the glass]] [[lash out]]

It's not like you have to go outside. You have plenty of food and water. You're warm, you're safe, you're entertained (the jewels from the heist turned out to be rare snake eggs and the snakes can cure the effects of some horrible bio-weapon and the government is searching for the snakes so they can kill them because...it's not very clear? But the unresolved romantic tension between the jewel thieves and the foxy herpetologist with a mysterious past can be cut with a knife.) It's not like it can get in. And do you really need to call someone? For an animal being outside? That's where they're supposed to be. What kind of ‘I want to talk to the manger’ bs is that? The shadow at the window doesn't move all day. You go back to your book after refreshing your snack stash. You're glad you've got your favorite tea. Just the scent soothes you, and even though nothing is wrong nothing is wrong nothing is wrong. You would like to be soothed. This book is making you jumpy. The story is silly but it has...a weird vibe. This place has a weird vibe. The shadow in the window fades again that night. It's there again in the morning. There's a bear outside. [[keep waiting]]

You snap out of your trance when you feel a long claw brush your hand. You jerk back on reflex, and the bear mirrors you but continues to stare. It doesn't move as you slam the window back into place and secure the latch. Your heart is beating very fast. The cabin smells of warm leather and wildflowers. Your hands smell like copper. You retreat to the kitchen (where you can't see the window) and promise yourself you'll go back over and close the curtains once you calm down. Once the bear is gone. It is perfectly normal to be afraid of a bear. It is perfectly normal to be afraid of what could have happened if those claws had done more than brush you. You don't know why you opened the window but you won't do it again so it doesn't matter. You go to the sink. You wash your hands and wash your hands and wash your hands and wash your hands and wash your hands and wash your hands and wash your hands still smell like copper. [[rest]]

Its eyes remind you of bits of gold leaf layered onto black marbles. It puts a paw on the windowsill. The claws grow wild, all different shapes and sizes. unnatural. [[offer up this tainted shell]] [[recoil]]

You continue your morning routine for a while before thinking to check on the bear situation again. It should be gone by now. You open the door and look out, only to see the bear still at the window. It was staring at the drawn curtains but now it looks to you. [[shoo the bear]] [[back inside]]

The window slides open easily. A breeze rolls into the cabin that smells like wild flowers and warm leather, and your knuckles brush against black fur as they rest on the windowsill. You hear the wood of the porch gently creak as the bear leans forward. [[meet its gaze]]

You expect it to grab you at the last second or cut you off as you climb the gentle slope on your way out of the trees, but instead it calmly watches from the shadows as you make your way to the trail. When you arrive you lean against the sign to catch your breath, staring the beast down in a way you hope conveys your unspoken promise of determination and triumph. In return, the bear lazily blinks its golden eyes and scratches itself against a tree. In the distance you hear a sound that might be a bear fart. It doesn't consider you a challenger. It doesn't even consider you lunch. You're starting to think this isn't a special cryptid bear. In fact it's probably some rare melanistic natural wonder who's death would have every animal lover in the world hunting //you//. The trail signs indicate that you're not actually that far away from the cabin. It's likely the bear had you walking in a big loop somehow (you could swear you were walking in a straight line), which would be funny if it wasn't so frustrating. So after a short rest and some bear watching (common sense says don't take your eyes off the big predator even if it isn't supernatural) you point your boots toward your temporary home. You look back only once while you trudge away. The bear is still sitting there but has completely lost interest in you, choosing instead to look off into space and think bear thoughts to itself. It yawns. Even at a distance you can see clusters of teeth glistening in every crevice of the open mouth like a nightmarish geode as the bear unhinges its jaw like a snake. It then closes its mouth and goes back to scratching itself. [[continue graceful retreat]] [[the hunt is back on baby!]]

There are probably a million other logical ways to handle this problem but all you can think about is getting away from all this. Which considering the circumstances? Pretty damn logical. The kitchen is a dead end. If the window is blocked then so is the door. You can run upstairs or Something Something is pulling you towards the bathroom. [[trust the feeling]] [[do not trust the feeling]]

You have to find a knife. You feel your way to the kitchen and flip on the light switch, trying to avert your eyes from the window above the sink as best you can. You pull a steak knife from the drying rack and stop to breathe for a second. Open the window. Cut through...the wall. Run to the car. If you can get to the car, you'll be safe. This thing can't be faster than- Shit. Your keys. You turn back to the living room lit only by the faint glow of the bear's eyes. You can hear growling but it's not forcing the window open. If you sprint you can grab them quick and get back to your escape plan. You're halfway across the living room when you finally see it in the corner. There is something dragging itself towards you. It moves like it has only the slightest control over its motor functions, and the way pieces of it bulge and split with every gesture...you can only think that it resembles a human being that's been unraveled and somehow kept loosely in it's original shape. It's so horrifying that it's almost comical. Like a melting jello salad from the 60's that's also a person. It lifts the pieces of its head towards you , features sagging pathetically, and you expect sorrow or pain in it's face but instead strips of flesh pull and shift until it has arranged a vicious grin for you. You jump back as it lunges, dropping your knife. If it weren't so unsteady it would have grabbed you on that first strike. instead, it collapses in a mangled heap in front of you while the bear roars outside. The thing is pulling itself together in front of you now. You can't get to the keys. Your knife is somewhere under the creature. [[find somewhere to hide]]

How dare a bear be outside and also minding its own business? You didn't come here for bears, you came for non-deadly aesthetically pleasing nature only. If it wants to hang out at your (rented) cabin then it needs to either pay half or turn into something with less teeth. So you yell and stomp and cause a general fuss until the bear stands up and begins to back away. It never turns to leave, just continues to back away with its eyes locked on you. Back across the yard. Back into the woods. Back up the small hill near your cabin. Its eyes are still on you even so far away. You see them glint golden as you catch glimpses of the beast between the trees. A bear's neck is so much more flexible than you thought. You go back inside and decide to put off today's hike due to bear. You went out yesterday anyway, maybe it's time to do some reading? You never have time to read anymore. So you lay around the cabin all day eating snacks and reading. At some point you ditch your pants. You are in the woods. You are free. You get through half an old romance novel you found on the shelf that is. So bad. But you can't stop reading it. You fall asleep after laughing yourself into exhaustion over the phrase, "Love Flavored Custard". The next morning there is a bear outside. And it is looking in the window. [[shoo again]] [[ignore the bear]]

Finally. Finally! You spread your arms, close your eyes, and bow your head in supplication. The long sleeves of your robes brush the floor. After all the searching and praying and working retail for ceremonial candle money, YOU are the acolyte chosen. You are the first to face a god. The others scoffed at you, choosing to follow old ineffective rituals created by old deluded assholes too afraid to leave their cushy studies and risk accidentally touching a bug or a poor person. But as a poor person and recreational bug-toucher, you had no qualms following leads through every overgrown abandoned parking lot and muddy field. You felt the thinness of the world in those places, just like you felt the eyes of things that wanted to stay unseen on your back as you left, and you knew there was nothing so holy or occult as the things living under the algae in every stagnant pond. You feel the god's breath on the crown of your hood and brace for ascension. After about 30 seconds you decide to take a peek because ascension feels a lot like being gingerly sniffed. The god is now leaning in the window, snout poised over your right hand. It inhales deeply before licking at your fingers. You want to believe that at any moment the first searing bite of enlightenment will come, but common sense says that its main interest right now is trail mix crumbs. Serves you right for neglecting post-snack hand washing. "Hey uh. Hello you excellence." The god stops mid lick and turns to meet your eyes, cocking its head quizzically. "I'm here. I came to find you and. Y'know." You don't actually know. You kind of figured that you would be absorbed into the very concept of nature by now and have a divine purpose. The god blinks and then turns away, lumbering off of the porch. After some robe wrangling you climb out the window and follow it. [[start your apprenticeship]]

Clearly you were too soft on it. Besides the fact that you don't want the it here, this is also very dangerous for the bear! Not everyone is going to throw it a snack or stomp a little bit. Hasn't it seen the news lately? This thing is going to get shot by someone if you don't teach it that humans = more trouble than they're worth. You need to be an asshole to this animal. As a conservation effort. So you grab a pot and a wooden spoon and head towards the window. You drum and scream and when the bear begins to back away again you step just outside the door and go twice as loud so it gets the message. The bear backs away the same as the last time, keeping its eyes locked on you as it walks silently into the woods. Everything goes according to plan until it gets to the tree. Maybe it forgot the tree was there. It navigated around it fine yesterday but perhaps the added noise has it flustered. It doesn't look away when its rump touches the tree. You expect it to correct course and go around but instead it continues to walk backward, mis-matched claws ripping up the ground as it marches in place. It's funny at first but then it's concerning. There is something wrong with this animal. So you keep banging on the pot and hoping it will sort itself out while it keeps pushing against the tree. Pushing and churning up the soil with its great Wrong claws and staring at you. Staring and staring as you bang on the pot. You don't know why you're still doing it. You think maybe you're afraid to stop. But then you do stop. Because you see it begin to split. It's like a baseball bat going through a watermelon but. Clean. Clean and slow. The bear's back end splits down the middle as flesh gives to the pressure of the tree trunk. Its paws scrabble for purchase in the loose soil, continuing their backwards march as the split grows wider and the animal's body is pulled in two with every step. Fur and distance obscure many details but you swear you can see bark catching on the dark red mounds of muscle as they slide past. The bear does not react to this. It continues to drag its body around the tree, through the gut, through the chest, through the neck, until the split reaches the head. You expect a crack as the skull comes apart but it's silent. Like the rest of it. The two halves of the bear's face simply separate and slide out of sight. Both eyes stay focused on you as they disappear around the tree. Both eyes are focused on you when they come back into view as the bear continues to walk backwards, the halves of its body loosely rejoined. You watch it walk over the hill again and only go inside when you can't see it anymore. You lock the door and are unsure if that even matters. [[call forest rangers]]

This bear has had enough of your attention. You are on vacation. You can't go outside so you entertain yourself. You cook breakfast. You explore the house. You break out some boxed wine and finish up your horrible romance novel (and the 2 sequels) in peace. The bear is outside every morning but like, so what? It doesn't wreck anything. It doesn't scream rude things at you. It's just a bear. Bears are cute! The last person here was probably feeding it or something. You're losing hike time but your knee has been iffy anyway. This is a good excuse to rest up for once. You're always on your feet. You catch yourself reading out loud whenever you see the bear near a window. Every time you finish a novel you dip into the box of children's books you found exploring the attic for a palate cleanser, and the bear really likes those. Probably because you pick bear-centric ones. Or so you imagine. It's a bear. It probably can't hear you through the glass and would rather have a sandwich than a story. The extra cute wiggle to it's ears when you quote A. A. Milne is just an animal trying to scam cheese slices out of you. You know the game. You've had pets almost all your life. At the end of the week you spot the bear sitting on the porch as you pull away from the cabin. Must have gotten over there while you were packing the car. Something about the way it tilts its head towards you is a little sad. You give it a tiny wave and to your delight, it hesitantly (again with the anthropomorphizing) waves back. There's something strange about its claws. Maybe some are broken? Poor friend. No wonder it was begging. You head back home content and relaxed, with a cute story about how you spent a week reading trashy romance novels with a bear. Hopefully you can get the days off and come back next fall. You do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

Your phone works fine. you text a friend and your phone works fine. You play a game and your phone works fine. You get on twitter and you're full of regret and you don't think you should have wifi all the way out here but it's a miracle and your phone works fine. You do not call the ranger's station. The curtains have been drawn over every window. You move through the house all day, migrating from room to room. The shadow moves with you. Usually minutes after you settled in the space, though it did take two hours once. You never hear it walk and never see the lumbering shape move into place. It's just. there. Eventually you leave your snack tray behind and just take the book. Something primal inside you whispering that you need to travel light. The foxy herpetologist reveals that they're the orphaned heir of a royal family of snake people. They take the jewel thieves as their harem and spit venom into a government agent's eyes while you, momentarily distracted from your current condition, chuckle an anxiety ridden, "What the fuck?" You look to the shadow and almost ask if it can believe this shit before stopping yourself. It won't know what you're talking about and bears can't talk anyway. It's just an animal. You eventually crawl up into the attic as the sun sets. Tacks are used to cover the small window with one of your t-shirts. There is no reason for this. A bear could never get up here. You finish your thriller turned romantic-snake-drama and fall asleep between dusty cardboard boxes. The moon is full and bright. You do not look at the window. The next morning you take down your t-shirt and nothing is there. There is nothing at any of the windows. [[leave]]

You pack your bag quickly but carefully. You don't want to forget anything. You don't want to have to come back for anything. You leave the book but jot down the title and author so you could look for a copy later. A fun souvenir from your cabin trip where you took one hike, read a silly book, and came home two days early for no reason. You stand by the front window for a long time, eyes scanning the surrounding woods, before you pick up your bag and dash outside. You lock the door quickly before chucking the key under the fake rock. You power walk to your car because you heard somewhere that you shouldn't run with bears around but you can't seem to walk normally. All the anxiety that you pretended wasn't there is coming out in a sickening wave that has your hands shaking. You get in the car. Doors lock. Key turns. Everything starts fine. Everything is fine. You are fine. You are surrounded by windows. You look in the rear-view mirror. You can see out the back window. You can see the cabin. There's a bear outside. It is looking in your window. It is running towards the car. You gun it. For a few seconds you think it will keep up with you. For a few seconds it's face doesn't get smaller in the rear view mirror like it should. It raises a paw full of misshapen claws and you know in your heart it's about to slash your back tire but you turn fast on a forest road and it is gone. You never tell anyone about the bear and you never go back to the cabin. You just buy black-out curtains and read trashy sci-fi and try not to think about how somewhere out there Maybe somewhere close. There's a bear outside. You do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

It comes out- Oh. That is...quite the image. [[leave this place]] [[take more pictures]]

Hmmmmmm. Hm. You keep walking towards the cabin. You go inside, draw all the curtains, lock all the entrances, take off your gear, and draw a bubble bath. There are a selection of novels on the bookshelf that you take your time perusing before settling on some suitably trashy horror and take it, along with a cola, the gun, and your phone, to the bathroom. You put on some music and sink into The Bubble Void. This tub is kinda small. Also you were right. You were right and that bear-thing probably could have killed you whenever it wanted. When you think about its speed, Its size, those teeth, you never had a chance. You're on its turf and it had every right to eat your face off for pointing a gun at it but instead it tired you out, led you home, and farted a little. It didn't even do anything spooky until it thought you weren't looking, and that super spooky thing was a yawn. Maybe a monster bear just wants regular bear things. Maybe it just wants to fart around in the woods and not get shot. Honestly? Same. ... You should change tactics. More field research, less search and destroy? Focus on getting pictures and footprints, maybe some video if you can get a proper camera and a small crew up here. No Blair Witch cell phone shit. This might not the only creature of its kind. You could study their group dynamics or even find some young. Could be a whole new species, or at least a very interesting mutation located only in this park. And if it's a mutation then what caused it? Government testing? Toxic runoff in the rivers? Monstrous birth defects from inbreeding in an ever shrinking population due to poachers and shrinking territories? The truth is probably easier to find when there's something alive to get answers from. You crack open your drink, grab the book, and sit in the tub until the water goes cold. [[plan b]]

YOU. WERE. RIGHT! The gun is raised and your finger is on the trigger before you can even register what you're doing. It's all pure instinct, pure elation at the fact The FACT That YOU are RIGHT Bang! The first bullets gouge a chunk out of the tree a few feet in front of the monster and it startles comically, jumping back and running deeper into the woods. You give chase, energy miraculously restored by the power of BEING RIGHT and run like the wind. The gear weighs nothing, your boots fly over obstacles, your heart is thundering in your chest as you revel in this second wind. We monster hunting now boys!!!!!!! bang! bang! bangbangbangbang!!!! That's a fucking hit! You see the beast stumble over a small hill and follow it a minute later, hoping to look down and see it wounded below you. Ready to be finished off so its carcass can be dragged out into the light of TRUTH by the only person with the balls to fight the things that hunt humanity! ... It's gone. ... You jump down into what you discover is a gully covered by overhanging trees. The adrenaline high keeps you going long enough explore the leafy tunnel but soon you admit to yourself that the bear has vanished once again. [[chill out]] [[throw a tantrum]]

ooooooooooh you're not supposed to be in here. You want to explore but something about this space...rejects you. You have to get out of here. [[leave the cave]]

You're about a third of the way up a tree before you remember bears might be able to climb trees. ''"Like dogs, bears will chase ﬂeeing animals. Do NOT climb a tree. Both grizzlies and black bears can climb trees."'' Oh shit. You climb faster because you're in it now, might as well! and you're over halfway up when you hear the 'crack!'. At first you think it's the tree but you don't feel it leaning. Then you look down. The bear has split its body open in such a way that it can wrap itself around the tree and now it's... Well the best way to put it is that it's swallowing its way up. It moves like a worm through the dirt, scrunching and stretching its way towards you while its flesh bends to perfectly encapsulate the tree. You stare in wonder as every branch below you has each individual pine needle encased in its own fur coat, and imagine that from a distance it definitely looks like this tree is wearing a sweater with a bear head collar. It's hilarious but also the Worst Thing You've Ever Seen, Jesus Christ. Second also, you can't climb higher. You've run out of tree dude. [[jump]]

You follow the sound of water and sprint for the shore as soon as it comes into view. Your gun is thrown aside as you jump into the water and you start to swim, bolstered by the thundering footsteps stopping at the water's edge. You're actually a pretty good swimmer and the bear //is// injured so... ''"Can bears swim? Bears can swim up to 6 mph. Wow!"'' The sound behind you isn't really a splash but you can tell something large just slipped into the water. You're picking up speed from the adrenaline but the weight of your gear and the dizzying depths of the lake make you struggle and shake with panic that- Wait. The lake isn't that deep over here. You look down and see nothing but black underneath you in all directions. ''"Humans can only swim 2 or 3!"'' You are pulled under. You are found 3 days later, unconscious and barely alive, on the shore of the lake. Your body is encased in an algae cocoon and your stomach is full of river stones and fish scales. Your gun and gear are gone. You remember nothing past eating breakfast that morning. You do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

Nope. The distorted creature on the screen looks nothing like the bear in front of you and you've seen enough horror movies to know where this is going. Nope. Nope. Time to go home. You post the picture on a throw away reddit account years later when you get curious, but the replies just make the knot in your stomach worse. You can't bring yourself to delete it. You never tell anyone. You do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

You can not leave the cave. There is a bear outside. Its body now fills the opening like a sea of black fur with two golden eyes in the center. It does not want you here. [[leave anyway]] [[stay in the cave]]

You pull the trigger and find you are out of bullets. Plan b. The gun falls to the floor and you grab the knife from the holster on your leg, slashing the black wall right between the eyes. The mass flinches back and you keep cutting, hacking past shifting ropes of muscle and clusters of organs to make your way to the other side. Eventually you have to get to the other side. Eventually. Your arm is...getting tired. You switch hands and try not to think about the fact that the monster's insides are pulling farther and farther away from you with every swing they avoid. You trudge forward and a closet's worth of space turns into a room's and then a house's and then... It's been so long since you've touched a barrier or obstacle. This place...where are the boundaries? How many days have passed? You are waist-deep in what might be water now. The surface has a thin layer of something slimy that clumps in your hand when you skim your fingers through it, and in the distance you hear the night chorus of frogs and bugs. Go forward. Keep going forward. The night chorus is growing louder and you are so tired. Your eyes are long adjusted to the darkness so you see the tiny things glinting in the water easily. They flit and dance as they swim towards you, and soon you are surrounded by a million points of light. You're wading in a sea of stars. It's so beautiful. You drop your knife. You're so scared. You cup your hands together and try to scoop up a whole constellation like you did when you were a child. When you were happy. The teeth you catch in your palms press gently into your flesh, just like the countless others in the water are doing as they slide up under your clothes, and you feel like, if you can, you should fall asleep now. And you do. And the chewing starts. They find your bones next year. You lay as if you're sleeping, face turned to the heavens, at the summit of the tallest mountain in the park. There are so many teeth marks from so many different animals that no one can even speculate about what happened to you. You wander the stars, but you do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

This place doesn't want you here either, and something in you feels like staying is the deadlier choice. You walk into the black void of the bear until every bit of you is gone. You are found a week later, unconscious and barely alive, in a cave system on the other side of the park. Mushrooms grow in your hair and infest every rotted scrap of clothing on your body. Your gun and gear are gone. You remember nothing past getting dressed for the hunt. You do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

You think they'll just tell you to calm down but instead they tell you to pack your things. Now. They say there's some sort of natural gas leak from a nearby sink hole or something? You're not quite sure because you're probably in shock and definitely terrified that you're suddenly hallucinating out in the middle of the woods. Luckily you're evacuated before noon and driven down to the clinic near the ranger's station because you're doing more shaking than they're comfortable with. After a short rest you think you're fine? At least you're steady enough to tell the nurse you'll go to the urgent care right away if you begin to feel ill later. Someone brings your car at some point because you find in right outside when your sisters arrive to pick you up. The rangers tell you that they find a regular black bear a little ways from the cabin but it seems perfectly normal. That gas really did a number on you huh? Probably plays a part in a lot of myths about this place. You get a little nauseous on the way home but attribute it to car sickness, because even though they refunded your cabin rental you still took off days from work and bought supplies so paying for urgent care is not gonna happen unless you see another trippy bear. You do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

You are so tired. You lay your head on the kitchen table and close your eyes. Your forearms rest on your thighs, and under the table you feel a drop of water connect with your bare foot. Your hands are still wet. Instead of getting up to dry them you count the drops 1 2 3 You imagine the water carrying the scent off your body the way the dish soap couldn't. As you start to drift into sleep you imagine the drops seeping into the floorboards, winding down down down until they slither into the earth and join all the dark patches of soil that used to be blood. 57 58 59...... You wake up, and the first thing you notice is that the kitchen must be flooded because it feels like you're ankle deep in water. Your hands are dry. The cabin smells like copper. As you stand to get a look at your surroundings a figure catches your eye from the kitchen window. There's a bear outside. [[close the curtains]] [[inspect the kitchen]]

It's looking at you again you don't like it LOOKing at you. You jump up from your seat and rush over to the sink, momentarily ignoring the violent sloshing at your feet. As you reach for the lacy white curtains the bear draws closer to the glass. Your eyes meet. The liquid on the floor sends small waves crashing into your ankles as you freeze in place. The smell of copper has overwhelmed the scent of leather and wild flowers. [[close. the. curtains]] [[you are already sliding the window open]]

It startles you but you have other things to deal with right now. You just......if you avert your eyes you can forget it's there. Ignore it. Whatever. It's an animal outside, that's where animals live. If you were gonna be bothered by animals being outside then maybe you shouldn't have rented a cabin in the woods you absolute baby. It probably smelled food on you when you opened the window earlier and now it's looking for a snack. It doesn't know you've developed a sudden bear phobia, and you can explore this new exciting fear once you figure out who you should call about this mini flood. You look down at the floor. There's nothing there. You can see the tiny waves pushing and pulling at the tassels on the kitchen rug, and you can certainly feel the liquid swirling just above your ankles, But you can't see anything. You bend down, dipping a hand into the nothing, and listen to the invisible droplets fall back into....this...isn't water. It's warm...and maybe thicker? It coats your hand. You wipe at it with a kitchen towel and it feels tacky as it dries. The scent of copper is so strong. Wait. Above your ankles? It wasn't this deep when you woke up. Is it rising? You glance up to the window. The bear is still there. You look away. [[head for higher ground]]

You yank the curtains closed. You don't know what it is about that bear but you can't...whatever! It's your (rented) cabin! You're allowed to not look at bears! Or have them not look at you! You have a mess to clean up anyway, you you You don't see anything. You can see the tiny patches of trail debris drifting from the boots parked at the kitchen door, and you can certainly feel the liquid swirling just above your ankles, but you can't see anything. You bend down, dipping a hand into the nothing, and listen to the invisible droplets fall back into....this...isn't water. It's warm...and maybe thicker? It coats your hand. You wipe at it with a kitchen towel and it feels tacky as it dries. The scent of copper is so strong. Wait. Above your ankles? It wasn't this deep when you woke up. Is it rising? [[head for higher ground]]

The bear begins to poke its snout inside as soon as the gap is wide enough, and nudges the window fully open on its own. You don't break eye contact as it leans in over the sink. Its neck is so long. You know that you could and should step away from it right now, but instead you raise a hand and begin to pet it gently between the ears. In the following quiet moments the bear's gaze starts lose intensity, until there's just this feeling of exhaustion radiating from its eyes that you can swear numbs your hand a bit. It gets bad enough that you take a sec to flex blood back into your fingers before moving to scratch under its chin. There you find the first hole. Without thinking you slide a finger inside until you push your knuckles against the surrounding bruised-black skin, and scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch because there is something worth reaching for in the flesh of this animal. You must dig it out. You need to search for softer ground. You crawl onto the counter for a closer look and eventually find a cluster of holes on the bear's chest. Loose Soil. Soon you're eagerly clawing at the ruined skin until you're wrist deep in muscle that gives like rotten fruit under your hands. The increasingly putrid copper scent forces you to breathe through your mouth as you hope that whatever great worms make their nest here are not the ones calling you inside. You only pause when you touch the first bits of metal. Ah. The many handfuls of bullets you dump into the sink are covered in so much dried blood. It's at least an hour before the bear pulls its head back through the window and wanders away. You think you see it raise a paw to you for just a moment before disappearing into the trees, but you're also probably delirious with...whatever this feeling is. Relief? Gratitude? Fear? Something tells you that this strange euphoria is not your own, but you ride it anyway because who knows how your brain is going to process this later. You hop down from the counter and the pins and needles distract you from the lack of a splash. When the feeling is back in your toes you scoop the stinking bits of metal into a tupperware container that you suppose you are stealing now. When you get it home the faint scent of warm leather and wild flowers clings to your hands for over a month and then fades to nothing. You miss it a bit. You do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

You can't leave. Or maybe you can. Maybe you could wade over to your car keys, dodge the literal bear outside on the way to your car, and get out of here. Maybe you could use the phone to call for help if you could stand to walk past the window and reach for it. Instead you run upstairs, wet feet slipping against the wood, and immediately look for ways to clean yourself. All the running water is downstairs but you make do with a bottle of hand sanitizer, and when you feel as clean as you can get you lie on the bed and listen to the waves roil and crash on the stairs. You are shaking, exhausted. The flood is rising. You put your hands over your ears and hear an echo of the invisible tide in your palms. Meanwhile, sickly warm sea-spray begins to mist over you as your mattress soaks up nothing and sags beneath your body. You can feel it weigh down your hair and form a tacky film on your skin, spreading your fingers feels like pulling apart scabs. The copper smell has gained an edge of sweet rot that makes you breathe through your mouth and choke on the drops that find their way inside. Your limbs are too heavy to move now. The flood is rising. You lay on your back and sob through the pain of drowning. [[everything is dark]]

You go get your gun. The bear is still at the window. How are you? [[you are slightly drunk]] [[you are ready]]

guess what you spooky dip-shit? bears are faster than you and a few nights spent skulking around abandoned buildings looking for ghoulies from the internet don't prepare you for hiking through the forest in full 'monster hunting' gear!!!! you're freaking lost! also, as time goes on you're pretty sure the bear is no longer in front of you. you're pretty sure the bear circled around and has been following //you// for the last mile or so. you catch glimpses of it every now and then and you get the feeling that not only does it not want you here (fair) but also? it's played this game before. it looks so much bigger than it did on the porch. you need to abandon the plan. you'll rework some things, bring more people next time, set traps, it will be fine. you WILL get this bear. you just need to get out of here right now. lucky for you, there seems to be a trail marker peeking through the trees just over there. [[run to the trail]]

Just slightly. Which is as good a state of drunk as any for hunting you suppose. The fight last night really took it out of you and hey, maybe you should have taken her packing up more seriously. Maybe you shouldn't have laughed. You always laugh and that makes her so angry and then the crying starts and you laugh more because if you stop laughing then you have to listen to things that she says are your fault. It's hysterical. She's hysterical. What a joke. This is why you always insist on taking separate cars on trips like this. you've met too many people who can't take a joke. ... Wait, what were you doing? ... Oh shit, there's a bear outside! Oh shit, you're holding a gun! Maybe you are more than slightly drunk ha ha. Ha ha ha. You might be about to get yourself killed! You might die alone up here! ha. You walk right out the front door and stand on the porch with the bear. Your gun is raised. Your aim is surprisingly steady. The bear looks at you. "Hey there Pooh Bear," you say to it. Because you are funny. You are funny and full of quips and there's no one here to cry about them now. The bear's ears wiggle a bit as it cocks its head. It raises its paw and gives what seems to be the start of a little wave. bang. bang bang bang bang bang bangbangbangbangbangbang bang bang bangbangbang. [[there's a body on the porch]]

The testimonies are true and you are so ready. Same cabin, same window, black bear. You're so glad you slept in your gear. You don't want to miss this chance. Before today you weren't fully convinced that campfire stories relying on humanity's mysticism surrounding undeveloped land and a few forum posts in a place known for enthusiastic but ultimately terrible creepypasta that teenagers try to pass off as true stories counted as testimonies. But a lead is a lead and they sounded intriguing. Especially for someone with an obsessive personality, a hard drive full of conspiracy theories, and a savior complex. Not that that's you. You're just a problem solver. And here we have a problem to solve. Now to be fair, this might be a totally normal bear checking to see if you have any food scraps to throw it. You could be about to kill a regular ass bear. And you don't really want to kill a regular ass bear! The rangers around here do not tolerate regular ass bear killing! But! If there's a chance that this is the bear you're looking for, it's worth a shot. It's worth it to finally have proof that there are so many secrets in this world that those above us pass off as stories and rumors to keep us docile. To keep a steady unaware food source for things they hope will stay too well fed to turn their teeth towards //them//. One dead bear is worth it. The bear recoils as you pass the window with your gun. It's running into the woods by the time you make it out on the porch. You follow. [[you have made a mistake]]

ha ha haholy shit you reloaded so many times. It fell after the first few shots to the chest, limbs going limp and lifeless, but it just...keep breathing. You watched it choke on blood, the panicked heaving of its lungs escalating until at some point the entire ribcage began to collapse in on itself with every breath out, only to expand to a grotesque size on every breath in. It reminded you of the bloat of a dead thing. a creature rupturing and re-inflating itself to give off the illusion of life. You had to finish it. You had to keep shooting. You weren't even scared for your life at that point. You didn't care about stopping its obvious pain. You were just trying to make it stop breathing. And it's certainly stopped //moving// but you're still not sure if you did it right. You stare down at the bear and there is a feeling that you're waiting. Trapped in the time between breaths. You have to do something before the next breath. You're so glad you each had your own vehicles. The rope, truck, and tarp make dragging the carcass behind the cabin alone easier. You need the extra cover because you definitely can't risk the rangers seeing this. If they find out about the bear either they won't understand or they'll smell the alcohol and stop you from making sure that next breath doesn't happen. Also you might go to jail for poaching or whatever. Jesus Christ this thing won't stop bleeding. Your jeans are practically glued to your calves with the stuff. It pools around the body on the tarp and creates a morbid snail trail that you spend near and hour rinsing away. Surprisingly, the blood gives you comfort. Blood means that the bear is real and real things can die. You go inside and grab the biggest sharpest knife you can find. It cuts through the hide with some doing, but the nonsensical criss-cross of muscles underneath seem to slide away from the blade every time. It's like trying to cut through a mass of eels. You eventually settle for skinning the beast and leaving its snout face down in the deepening pool. Just in case. You need to go inside and sit down. You take the skin with you. [[you need a beer]]

You took that first picture when you were 6. You still have the Polaroid in a box somewhere and you still remember getting yelled at for touching the camera at all. What you don't remember is why your first instinct was to //hide// the photo, but you're glad you did. This secret is just for you. You and the forest. As a little kid you thought that first meeting was like a story book illustration. The shapes of things in the pictures are simplified into symbols for children, and when you see an animal up close for the first time there are all these overwhelming missing bits to take in. So to you, it was just a bear with the details left on. It was about the same level of upsetting as staring into the center of a sunflower. Weird enough to want physical proof that you saw what you saw, but nothing that would give you nightmares. If your parents had seen the bear before the flash scared it away you are certain they would have burned that cabin to the ground and fled horror movie style. You are now 13, you've seen many professionally shot photographs of normal bears, and your family has been back a few times since First Contact. Dad gave you the old camera and neither of them care that you stay out in the woods alone all day (even sitting still and reading you are too loud to write around it seems), so you've had plenty of time to carry out your experiment in peace. Pictures out of books won't do, you need the details, so you've got a bunch of photos from the nature center this time. You tried to get photos of living bears in the surrounding forest, but you found out that maybe your mom was wrong and you weren't stupid enough to be that brave. The other bears aren't like //your// bear. You're pretty sure your bear doesn't want to hurt you. This doesn't mean you don't keep your distance. That's just common sense. You lay the offerings out carefully on the big tree stump. First the photos, then the pile of trail mix with the candy picked out (bears shouldn't have candy anyway) and when everything is ready you call out, "here bear!" and climb into your observation tree as fast as your chubby limbs can take you. It only take a few minutes for the bear to show up. A part of you thinks it watches all your woodland adventures, only coming out when you make the offerings so as not to scare you. Maybe it protects you from the shadows like a guardian angel. That would be nice. It would be cool to have a protector. The bear ambles around the stump, first looking up at you, then inhaling the pile of trail mix before getting to the photos. This next part always takes a while. It needs to figure out where the new details go, and you sit in rapt attention as it studies your work. You begin to smile when it sits back and the new claws slowly emerge from the velvet black paws, but soon realize your mistake. Oh buddy no. You thought it would just pick its favorite set, not mix and match! some are straight, some are curved, and none of them are exactly the same color. That's not how you bear! You sigh, but don't have it in your heart to scold the obviously pleased creature as it does an impressive impression of your grandma admiring her nails after a trip to the salon. This preening goes on for a while before the bear looks up at you again, wiggles its ears a bit, and wanders back into the forest. The next morning you wake up just before dawn and follow the trail of wild flowers that start under your window to a hollow tree near the lake. Inside are some beautiful feathers, a big smooth river stone, and a tiny animal skull covered in moss. You put them with your other treasures and go back to bed before your parents wake up. [[take even more pictures]]

The coughs that lift your body from the bed in painful convulsions are almost welcome once you figure out that they mean you are alive. It's night now, and if not for the glow of the alarm clock beaming a bright red 2:45 AM you wouldn't know if your eyes were open or not. You feel around for the bedside lamp and wince when the light hits your eyes. Your chest hurts. You stumble downstairs. Each step is dry and cool. The bathroom mirror reveals someone who clearly went through a ROUGH crying spell hours ago and looks like pure crusty snot garbage but is otherwise perfectly normal. Which is...something. You lift your palms to your face and take an intense sniff, but only smell sweat and hand sanitizer. You continue to inspect yourself for trauma, calming considerably as you check things off the list. Your hair doesn't clump together as you run your fingers through its tangles. Limbs are moving freely. Deep breaths ache a bit and your chest has a general dumpster fire feeling, but you attribute this to the coughing. Until you begin to strip for a shower and find the cluster of circular bruises that your future doctors will never have a clear answer for. You pack up immediately after your shower and leave before daybreak. You do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

Nature is so interesting. "Shhhhhhh. Shh shh shhh now. Be still and small again." You put one hand to the window. A variety of yellowed teeth on the other side flock to your palm like curious fish before flowing into thin lines along all eight of your fingers (you messed up the numbers again, you have to keep track next time). Unphased, you match the sound of the bones as best you can by tap tap tapping to the beat of the out of sight heart and hope you don't crack the glass. You're not sure if it hears or understands you, but you know what fear and mourning smell like. The bear might bite you if it can push past whatever rules are keeping it at bay. Those are good instincts. To some you are a thing worth biting. You do not mind the dark but you worry about what this looks like from outside the cabin. Daylight is a time for being small. there are more humans in the woods now, and it is best to not make humans curious when you need nothing from them. The ones who don't run tend to chase for far longer than is amusing. tap, tap, tap. "If you are not small they'll hunt you down. If you try to bite me I'll bite you back. Either way you'll die, or worse, you won't. Be good. Be small. I'm older than you so I know. I don't have your lost thing and you know. Shh shh shhhhhhhhh." You talk to it for a long time and it is nice in the way talking to animals always is. Sunlight reenters the cabin as each window is slowly uncovered by your rambling, and soon the meat in front of you pulls away from the glass and tucks itself away properly. you are pleased. A feeling of calm washes over both of you, and you return to your observations. You can still smell the mourning through the glass but it's not sharp anymore. "I've never seen a bear do that. How did you learn to do that?" The bear backs away from the window, averting it's gaze as spikes of sadness, fear, and panic fill the air. It opens its maw and from inside you hear a woman's warm voice, distorted, like an echo in a cave. The voice is tinged with dismissive amusement. The voice belongs to the dead. ''"Bears can't talk."'' You nod. That makes sense. The bear turns away quickly, now obviously avoiding your eyes, and begins to stride back into the woods. It only pauses for a moment before slipping out of your sight and you hear another echo, this one dreamy and curious. ''"I wish bears could talk."'' And then it is gone. You stretch, fixing your fingers and wondering if you should grab a snack before the nice humans who thinks you are human return. you look out the window and smile at the thought. You can tell them about the pretty bear you saw. Nature is so interesting. You return to the cabin every year to mingle with the locals. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

This is your territory. This is your prey. You've heard stories about things in the woods since you were a child, that's where you got the inspiration to move out here. You deserve to hunt like the things in the stories hunted. The natural order itself knows it and that's why they haven't caught you yet. That's why they'll NEVER catch you. The forest has accepted you as her Alpha. This is what you tell yourself as you look at the bear and fight down the sudden sinking feeling that you are an //intruder//. no. The beast probably smelled the blood and thought you would be easy pickins. Who knows how many injured hikers it's snatched off the mountains. But not you! You're not like those- how dare it even come for you? How dare it think you're like them how dARE HOW DARE HOW DARE HOW DARE IT TRY TO STEAL YOUR KILL! FILTHY SCAVENGER IS GOING TO LEARN TODAY. YOU'RE GOING TO TEACH IT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PREY AND PREDATOR PREDATOR PREDATOR YOU ARE A HUNTER AND YOU DESERVE TO HUNT AND HOW //DARE// IT THINK YOU ARE MEAT. The room is almost pitch black now. This is your territory. You grab your knife and unlatch the window. When they find you, you are still alive somehow. It has been days. Thank god you die when they try to move you. thank god you fall apart. Despite your injuries, the rangers cite your cause of death as 'bear attack'. No one questions this. The rangers also never try to find and euthanize the offending bear like they should. No one questions this either. They find the woman's body in the tub where you left it. It's almost completely hidden in a bed of wild flowers sprouting from her skin, and every surface in the room is covered in beautiful stones, feathers, and other forest debris. A policeman comments while kneeling to collect the items that the floor just outside the bathroom was unusually warm, like a large animal had sat there for a very long time. Your physical form does not return to the cabin. Your soul never stops running from the bear. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

You sleep until nightfall and are awoken by the sound of rhythmic whistling. As you stand up from the couch and feel around for the cord to the overhead light, you realize it's coming from the kitchen. A beer can crunches under your foot as you finally locate the cord and pull. The light that floods the room blinds you for a second, powerful with extra Hangover Flavor, but you can already see that something taller than a man is standing in the shadows by the kitchen door. The skin is standing on its hind legs. The skin has two eyeless voids trained on you. The skin is //breathing//. You watch the holes in the crumpled chest constrict and loosen over and over and over, until you realize that your own breathing has matched their gory rhythm and you are walking. You are walking to that skin and it breathes you in while you open the kitchen door and realize that right now it hates you to your bones but it has more important things to do. There's a body in the mud that it needs to collect and it has all the time in the world to retreat and heal because now it's got your //SCENT//. You are laughing and crying as you mourn yourself. You do not need to return to the cabin. The bear eventually comes to you. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

You don't see the bear for the rest of the weekend but you do see it on return trips with your new crew, which you hate to admit have become more like spooky family than hired hands over the years. It's honestly some real Scooby Doo shit your lone wolf monster hunter past self would never think you'd be a part of. Still serious but...less lonely. The bear never comes as close as the first time, but it tolerates your presence and you've gotten a few interesting photos of it. Your crew has unanimously decided to keep their mouthes shut about your discoveries and continue the work under the cover of bear conservation (which you are sincerely into now) out of fear that someone is gonna try to make the same mistake you almost made. Also the cute weird ranger (you think they're a ranger? sometimes you see them at events in a in sweeping black robes and a ranger's hat? they're probably some species of goth, you don't know) who always seems to be in the area when you come down for research trips has been making eyes at you. You think they're at least some kind of hobby biologist since they have an endearing fascination with nature that almost makes you want to let them in on your secret. You probably won't though. Don't want to freak them out. Hopefully you'll see them the next time you return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

Thank god for Shirley Brown and the Mirror Hill National Park Photography Club. Thank god for summers away from home. Your new step-mom is...nice, but she seemed a little too happy to back you up when you proposed that you'd like to spend another summer up at the cabin working at the nature center instead of coming home from school. Probably afraid that you'll weird up the new baby. Which is fair! It's not like you can trust anyone else in that god-forsaken apartment to do it. The previously mentioned photography club was added when the the old building got damaged in that mudslide a few years back and had to be rebuilt. You became a member as soon as you learned of it's existence, and the staff already found you so endearing that Ms. Shirley let you have one of her less fancy (and slightly possum-chewed) cameras so you could give the Polaroid a break. You still use it sometimes, but the ritual of using the park darkroom is so therapeutic. Nice and quiet in there. Makes you feel like a little mushroom slowly growing in a damp corner. You finish developing the last of today's haul and make sure all the client's pictures are in the right envelopes. It's always fun to see what people think is worth capturing for posterity. Some envelopes go out full of flowers and baby deer, while others are nothing but ladies dressed like elves posing in darkened hollows and artful shots of small dead things. Every so often one envelope goes out with a few pictures that are...mysteriously over-exposed. Totally ruined. A shame. Can't make out your bear in //any// of them. ... Also? Sometimes theres bad amateur porn! The photography club doesn't talk about the porn unless something illegal is happening in said porn. It's just. No one has the energy for that. Y'all are too busy making sure the elf people don't leave lutes where the raccoons can get to them. That was a weird lawsuit. Anyway, you're done early for the day, and since none of the elf people have invited you to their camps for drinks or DND tonight, you have time to hang out with your bear. So you grab some more trail mix at the general store, hop on your bike, and head to the stump. As soon as you step off the trail you hear the first gunshot. Down the hill, past the big rock, run run run until your observation tree is in sight and you should be running in the opposite direction because poachers or whatever is ranger business but you know in your heart what they're shooting at so you can't //you can't// //WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW// When you arrive at the altercation the man in the camo jacket almost shoots you in surprise. Your pocket knife is out. This is the angriest you've ever been. Your bear is by the stump. It is also angry and it has so many...new details. This man is going to die. But before you can raise your knife the man pushes you behind him and tells you to run and get a ranger, that the thing in front of you is a monster, and the protective tone in his voice makes you falter. Wait. Is this a hunt or self defense? In the second it takes you to mull that over your bear has lunged, and the man's body is being pulled inside it's too wide maw by tendrils of grasping flesh covered in teeth. As the flailing boots disappear inside you find yourself frozen in place. When you can move again you feel detached from your body, floating above the scene as you put your hands to one of the bullet holes in your bear's side. You have to stop the bleeding. You don't know what else to do. Would you have really killed that man? You close all the curtains in the cabin that night. When you visit the stump the next morning the bear is nowhere to be found, but the trail mix is gone when you check back in the evening. A week later when you attend a staff meeting and learn that the man was found by a ranger somehow perfectly half-submerged in the earth near a trail, small plants sprouting from clothes that looked rotted by decades of wear and unconscious but alive, you sit in the darkroom and just shake with relief for an hour. The rangers say to tell any guest that asks about him that it was a sink hole. [[put this secret with the rest]]

Okay. Stop and think. You need to do some tracking. It's a monster and it probably knows this forest like the back of its paw but it can't have gotten far. You try to ignore your own boot prints and follow a trail of broken sticks and flattened grass down the tunnel of trees. Eventually you catch sight of a few drops of blood and then- There! A paw print! The excitement returns full force, and you are so giddy as you pick up speed. The tracks are erratic and blood stained now. It's probably fallen somewhere nearby. Around the next bend you can here water lapping at the shore of the lake and it can't swim injured so you've got it! Just keep your eyes open, make the next shot, and you'll show- ''"What should i do if i see a bear? It is important to remember that bears in national parks are wild and can be dangerous."'' The voice is cheery and distorted, like an educational vhs playing inside a cave. It is coming from behind you. ''"Although rare, attacks on humans have occurred, inflicting serious injuries and death."'' You spin around and the monster's form fills the tunnel behind you. You get off maybe two shots as it begins to run towards you but quickly find out that it is not slowing down. You need to get away! [[climb a tree]] [[jump into the lake]]

You haven't screamed like this since you were 6 and your cousin refused to admit that bigfoot is real. It's not like you're rolling on the ground and pooping you pants in a fit of fury but uggggggggggh...you've waited so long for something like this. It is AGONIZING to have it slip through your fingers. You start walking aimlessly down the tunnel, kicking rocks and muttering to yourself about vanishing man-eating cryptids. You're so busy hosting the red carpet pity party in your head that you almost walk into the cave purely on accident. You look inside and see photos, books, and small wooden carvings embedded in walls covered by moss. Way in the back a small patch of light falls from the roof onto a patch of wildflowers, and the gentle breeze coming through the stone smells like thunderstorms. It's freakin' creepy. It's also definitely the monster's home base. [[duck into the cave]]

You are up in a tree, and you are slightly pregnant. Not a smart move, but if you can be honest? if you can say what you really feel for one fucking second??? Smart moves have done you dirty as of late. You swallow a mouthful of trail mix candy and look back down at your bear. It hasn't even bothered with the new photos. As soon as you scrambled up the tree it parked itself at the base and has been looking up at you with the most worried expression you've ever seen on an animal for the last half hour. sigh. "I felt like I had to stay with him you know? It was responsible to stay. Stable and safe. And everything was worth it because my parents always said i would never get someone like him! His type are too smart to tolerate me! And now I finally had something to point to and go, 'look who's normal you assholes!'" You swing your legs and try to will the heat of anger from your face before the tears start. The tears come quick when you're angry. "I was so good at pretending to be normal." Your bear huffs softly below you. It is dark when you finally climb down the tree and your bear is still there. You honestly only give the smallest potion of a micro-fuck if it eats you at this point. Your day can not get any worse. After a few moments of silence staring at each other, you walk forward and bury your face in its side like you used to do with grandma's old dog. sigh. The black fur smells nice, like thunderstorms and wild flowers, and you pretend that that's what bears are supposed to smell like while fighting off post-rage exhaustion. The bear does not eat you. You both walk back to your van in the dark, glad that no one's currently staying at the cabin and therefore can't question you for parking there. You'll go down to the office and rent it properly tomorrow but this is fine for now. It wouldn't be the first time you spent the night in a car. You shove your bags and boxes around just enough to make room for a makeshift nest in the back and hunker down, leaving the door cracked so your bear can rest its head on the floor while it lays outside. You rant a little more but the fire is mostly out and you are fighting to stay awake. Your eyes aren't even open at this point. "I don't know why I even tried. I mean, I do know, but...I hate that I still want their approval THIS MUCH even though I know I'll never get it. They'll always find something wrong with me. Being straighter and quieter and more obedient has never got me better than being ignored instead of yelled at." You absentmindedly pet the giant predator attending your miserable sleepover and you are almost asleep when a small soft voice like an echo in a cave calls out. ''//"normal."//'' You startle awake and see nothing but golden eyes in the dark. That voice was right in front of you. Could it?... Don't be stupid. "Bears can't talk." You settle back into your nest and chuckle to yourself, already falling back into sleep. "I wish bears could talk." The next morning you take a picture of yourself to commemorate not being eaten by a bear in the night. You look like shit. After some consideration you take a picture of your bear. It has too many eyes this time. Stunning. You pat you belly and lean against the closed van doors. "They're never gonna have the chance to make you feel like garbage." You never talk to your parents again. [[buy cheap Best Friends lockets for the pictures as a joke but then get really embarrassingly attached to them. ]]

It's the second summer that you and the kiddo spend (mostly) apart and you're both doing pretty okay! granted, your baseline experience is last year's disaster so there's nowhere to go but up. Also it probably helps that you saw each other when they brought the campers over to learn about nature photography. A friendly face alleviates home sickness. You haven't had a lot of time to come to the cabin in the last few years. Raising a newborn alone in the woods wasn't gonna happen and then there was school and needing something better paying and finding a sitter for the times you did come down and just. It's been a lot. But you're back on your feet now, freelance photography is putting enough food on the table, Josie is watching the apartment, and the kiddo is old enough for you to get on with your weird forest rambling. You have today off, which means it's Bear Time, and you're excited for woodland shenanigans. You've got some great pictures from a spring trip to the zoo and a brand new bag of trail mix that you made //yourself// because you're an //adult// now (and also it's cheaper this way). You've also got the new illustrated pamphlet of bear facts that they're giving out at the nature center now. You usually shy away from giving your bear illustrations but over the years you've found that it loves bear related trivia and mythology. You've caught it eavesdropping on movie day outside the wildlife education room, spying on your old dnd buddies, skulking around the bonfire events that the Indigenous Author's Society does every year, and you're pretty sure you've seen it reading the nature facts on the trail markers. Can it read or does it just...know? You're not sure. both are equally plausible since you've come to fully embrace the weird of the bear. As long as it doesn't get dissected by the government for being caught leafing through dictionaries and turning inside out in front of the general store you don't care which is true. Anyway, if this brunch goes smoothly then it might be the year you properly introduce it to kiddo. They've kind of met already, but that was mostly your bear coming to the cabin window for visits. Seems your child has better survival instincts than you ever had, and each attempt to open the window or step out the door while your bear was in sight brought on an adorable scolding about nature safety and respecting wild animals. But she's old enough now. If you tell her the truth she'll understand. 10 and a half years old is enough to keep a secret, right? ... Wow, the wording of that skeeves you out! This is not a time for skeeves. This is a time for Bear. Pushing all feelings but the excited buzz of adventure aside, you pull on your backpack and open the front door. You don't see the man behind your van until it's too late. A sharp pain at the back of your head makes the world go black. The rangers find your body days later. They put small memorial to you up in the nature center. Your corporeal form never returns to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

The bear watches you walk to the door and undo the latch. You open it, step out onto the porch, and look it in the eyes. "Hello bear", you say, "What are you here for?". ''"Hi kiddo,"'' the bear replies in a voice like an echo, ''"Just checking in. bad day?"'' You slip on the boots by the door and nod. "Bad day." You both enjoy a leisurely stroll into the woods, and for a while you just let your cares float away as you listen to the bear talk. There's a surprising amount of forest gossip to catch up on. The love lives of the possums that keep breaking into the general store can be described as nothing less than torrid, and the campers in blue tents that you pass on the way to the lake are probably trying to summon the devil. "Are we gonna do anything today besides gossip? It's good gossip but maybe we could explore some more abandoned campsites? That or start a fight club." ''"No fight club. You always propose a fight club."'' "Fight club sounds fun!" ''"When you're not the one fighting."'' "Fair." You end up grabbing a snack instead. The bear finds you some really good blackberry bushes and you pick as many as you eat before moving on. You have to hurry. You can feel time running short and you're late for dinner with mom. A robed figure on the hill walks towards you as you approach the meeting spot. They are wearing a bow tie and have a towel draped over one arm. You grin at the sight while leaning over to elbow the bear gently. "Your butler is here." ''"Be nice. They're nice."'' The person bows low when they stop in front of the bear and then curtsies to you. "Your Divine Excellence. Lady Julie. Dinner is about to be served." "Hey acolyte. Looking sharp tonight bud." A flustered smile can just be seen in the shadow of the hood. "Thank you! I have a date after this and you know. I'm trying." Good for them. You pat them on the shoulder as they lead you to the candle-lit stump where your mom is already seated. This time she has rings of polished river stones set in moss around her neck and an elaborate shawl made of feathers thrown over her ratty white t-shirt and jeans. A tiny bear cub with big golden eyes and wildflowers sprouting from its fur is wiggling impatiently in her lap. When you sit beside her, she gives you a really tight hug while it tries to get to your blackberry stash before you can throw them into the bowl on the table. You should probably wash those but you also probably ate a million different Forest Germs when you were eating them earlier so. Whatever. The acolyte lays out an impressive spread before setting down their towel and taking their leave. Dinner is nice. It's always nice. Your mom tells you about the art exhibit at the nature center that's showcasing a bunch of her old photography this week and encourages you to send in some paintings. The bear continues to dish out hot goss on every person and not-person skulking around the park. The cub is adorable and also tries to eat your fingers more than once. It's nice. It's late. You lay back on the grass and look up at the stars caught in the gaps between tree tops. After a while you feel your mom reach over and squeeze your hand. //"You about to head out kiddo?"// she says as the candle on the stump goes dark. "I've got a little time," you say as you watch the cub cuddled up to the bear's side start to fade into the night. You close your eyes. "Happy birthday by the way. Sorry I didn't bring anything." //"You brought yourself you dork. It's nice to catch up and like, be a person instead of campfire story."// "Well besides the obvious, being a campfire story is only bad because most of these jokers are garbage storytellers." You open your eyes for just a second to see the cub completely gone and quickly shut them again. you can still feel your mom's hand. "And one day I'm going to stop being a coward and come up here for real. Gonna bring my real human body and everything. I'll get mugged by raccoons and break an ankle walking from the car to the cabin. It'll be awesome." There is a sigh in the dark. //"Cut that out. Trauma doesn't make you a coward, that's the kind of thing your grandparents would have me believing before i got smart enough to never talk to them again."// "They were assholes." //"That's my girl."// You open you eyes again briefly and only see the bear. Just the bear and the stars before you shut them tight. [[fight it]]

Welp. Okay. On the way down you catch the bear's eye and it looks just as surprised as you are. You land on your feet from 3 stories up and you live but you pass out for a minute when you hit the ground. Your bone situation is. Bad. The bear peels itself off the tree and just watches you for 15 minutes while picking pine needles out of its horrible maw. Bears don't really emote like humans but you get the feeling that the look on its face is one of judging you too pathetic to kill so eventually it wanders off, irritated by your screaming and crying. Some hikers soon stumble over you but no one believes you. The rangers say you're suffering from hallucinations due to a natural gas leak at a nearby sinkhole and the paramedics go with it. You return to the park once against doctor's orders but get into a physical altercation with the guest services dude when he mentions the FAKE gas leak before you can ask about the bear and are banned from the park. You do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

You are standing at the mouth of a cave with your bear and oh no you are too pregnant to be in a cave. But your bear looks over to you nervously before stepping inside so you walk with it, one hand pressed into its side for balance. All of your photos and a few pages torn from guide books are embedded like family portraits in the moss covered walls around you. A little farther in pictures become interspersed with small bear carvings made of wood and stone and you stop to admire their craftsmanship, marveling at their lifelike poses. some look so old. You stare long enough that your bear has to nudge you towards the back of the the cave where the patch of sunlight from a hole in the roof illuminates an overgrown carpet of wildflowers. It's very beautiful. If you weren't so worried about how worried your bear looks you'd compliment it on its decorating. You are in your bear's house. You have never been here before. You came to the park for one last visit before the baby is born, getting there just 4 hours after they found the mother bear on the highway. Truck slammed right into her. one of the nearby campers told you they still hadn't found the 3 young cubs a day later. You're pretty sure that's 2 of them sleeping peacefully in the flower nest but the third cub looks...Rough. It's much smaller, skinnier, and its fur is so patchy. Every breath looks like a struggle. Your bear settles next to the cub and you just kneel beside them because you don't know what you can possibly do for it. You don't know why you were brought here. But maybe that's the point. Maybe your bear just needs someone to be here. The cub stops breathing within the hour. By the time you leave there are three new carvings. 2 for the wall and one, the smallest in the collection, left in the sunlight to forever run through the wildflowers. [[move on together]]

The pull gives you the same feeling the bear does, and by the way it snarls whenever the thing on the floor so much as jiggles towards you, you're pretty sure they're not in cahoots. The enemy of your enemy is your friend. You duck into the bathroom, slamming the door behind you and bracing it with your back when you realize there's no lock. You then look around frantically, searching for something to build a barricade with as you listen to the creature scrabble closer. There is a blood splattered woman standing in the tub. Her head isn't quite attached to her neck. She is slightly translucent. You've had enough. "Another one!? Are you serious right now!?" Your flight response is getting a little tired. Feels like maybe escape attempts haven't worked out too well so far! Maybe it's time to just start punching monsters and screaming questions! Because you only came to this stupid cabin for bird watching and it was raining yesterday so you didn't get to do that and then your boss called trying to get you to come in even though she knows you're 6 hours away and you worked 12 days straight of doubles before this trip and now you're trapped in a bathroom with Bloody Mary while two abominations probably fight over who gets to eat you and, and- yoU JUST WANTED BIRDS! NONE OF THESE FUCKERS IS BIRDS!!! The ghost woman puts a hand to her mouth and coos apologetically at you, //"Oh my god honey I'm so sorry. that sucks so bad."// You said all of that out loud. You and the woman stare at each other for a moment before a terrifyingly wet thump on the door makes you both scream. The doorknob shifts a bit as the mass outside pulls away and you know it's rallying for another lunge. The woman looks furious. //"Oh, THIS asshole!"// she spits with enough hate that you feel instantly safe from any monster in the tri-state area as long as you stay on her good side. //"He didn't give me a fair fight and even dead he's still-!? I-ohhhhhhhhhh, not today. Absolutely Not!"// She turns to the bathroom window and you can see the mass of bear in front of it shift and constrict angrily as her fingers phase through the latch. It takes a second for her to remember that another person with corporeal hands is in the room, but when she eventually orders you to let go of the door and help, you do so with no hesitation. The window doesn't have to open very wide for the bear to get in and the hinges on the bathroom door don't stand a chance against the typhoon of black fur that flies past fast enough to give your forearm rug-burn. You do not get to see what happens to the crawling thing but whatever struggle there is between it and the bear sounds short and brutal. When the cabin goes quiet you step into the hall. The woman follows. In the living room you both find the bear. It is looking very pleased with itself. The floor in front of the content animal is now a dark patch of countless claw marks that look less like carved out scratches and more like lines of rotten wood. If you survive whatever comes next, you'll have to find a rug to throw over that. The bear makes to leave and you jog over to open the door for it. The woman follows it out the door but turns to you before crossing the threshold. Her hand feels weird as it squeezes your shoulder, like being held by a warm breeze. //"I'm sorry about your trip kiddo. I hope you get to see some really cool birds. Also I think you just freed me from my spirit's final trauma prison by letting a bear eat the soul of my murderer so thanks for that."// "You're welcome ma'am but honestly I have no idea what's going on and I would not have showed up if I knew this was a murder cabin." She nods, //"That's fair. Thanks anyway, oh, and if i were you I'd grab the rug from the attic and put it over those marks. Should be behind a box of kid's books my parents kept here when I was little. Those door hinges were also old as dirt so don’t pay a dime if they ask you to replace them. You don't deserve to be on the hook for-"// " Yeah I was thinking the same thing. Screw paying for whatever damages that polterdouche incurred. I'm not made of money." She nods approvingly, //"You're gonna be alright."// She and the bear walk off together. You retrieve the rug, which is right where she said it would be, and after spreading it out on the floor you lay down and scream for a bit. Later that day you go out to watch birds. You see many cool birds. You return to the forest (for more birds) but you do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

You bolt for the stairs. that pull gives off the same feeling that the bear does and just because you know the thing on the ground is out to kill you that doesn't mean the literal monster wrapped around your cabin is harmless. You make it up to the bedroom and dismay as you find the windows here are covered too. You had the slimmest hope that you could make the jump to the ground, but now your only option is cramming yourself into the ancient armoire in the corner and holding the doors shut as best you can. It's not long before the wet slaps and dragging sounds that crest the top of the stairs become loud enough to eclipse the frantic beating of your heart. Soon there is a thump on the door of the armoire. Later you will determine that the thing simply lacked the coordination to get a good hold on the handles. There are times that a loop of skin snags just so and a sliver of bone rakes at your clothing through the crack, but those times are rare and honestly not as terrifying as the consistent thumps and slurps of the abomination crashing against the walls of your sanctuary in the dark like a wave on a rocky shore. You don't peek outside for at least an hour after the last thump. The room is bathed in mid-day light now. Nothing hunts you from the floor. Nothing watches you from the windows. You walk to the bed, grab your phone from the nightstand, call your mom, and have a panic attack. You leave as soon as you are able. You do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

"Oh hell no," you mutter. You quickly close the door but there's a weird feeling as you do. Like you're scared, but not as scared as you should be? A part of you wants to go back outside. Whatever. If this becomes an ongoing problem then you'll call the ranger's station, but hopefully the bear will wander off when it gets bored. As you walk away you hear a cheerful voice outside that sounds slightly distorted, like an educational vhs tape played in a cave. ''"Seeing a bear in the wild is a special treat for any visitor to a national park."'' You turn back towards the window. A golden eye peeks through the gap in the curtains briefly before being replaced with black fur as the bear turns and walks off the porch. It is nowhere to be found when you get up the courage to look outside again. It does not return for the rest of the weekend, and when your friends get back from their morning swim they just say you're trying to spook them with more ghost stories. And it //is// a pretty good story. You tell it (with a few embellishments) for years to come whenever people start talking paranormal encounters at parties. you do not return to the cabin. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

You follow your new god all day. At first you think the path is a trial of some sort, but after a while you start to suspect that the god is just showing you things it thinks are neat. You see a really big tree with one branch almost tied into a perfect knot and a non-divine bear having a nap and a petrified opalescent stump surrounded by wildflowers. It even takes you near the general store and doesn't move until you've had a snack and a bathroom break. It is a very good tour guide. Late afternoon finds you walking through a gully covered by overhanging trees. at the end of this tunnel of green is a cave, and this is where your god stops. "Is this your home my lord?" Your god nods. You look inside and see photos, books, and small wooden carvings embedded in walls covered by moss. Way in the back a small patch of light falls from the roof onto a patch of wildflowers, and the gentle breeze coming through the stone smells like thunderstorms. This place is holy. Holy like under the algae. You do not step further inside but instead turn to your god with a smile. "It's wonderful! I like all the moss." You god does the bear equivalent of smiling back. You fiddle with the sleeve of your robes. "You know, you could show me your real form if you want. You make a really convincing bear but I know that you are...more. I can feel it." Your god gives you another quizzical look before scratching itself briefly and walking into its cave. You can feel that this encounter is still full of good vibes but there is no invitation to follow like before. The tour is over. You make you way back to the cabin in the peaceful twilight and you are full of so much wonder about the day's adventures that you don't hear the ranger until the third, "Excuse Me!". They are actually pretty nice. They have a real nice way of saying that some narc reported a cloaked weirdo bothering a bear and that said weirdo is definitely you. You proceed to talk your way out of this (badly) and are eventually let go after showing proof of your rented cabin but the ranger gives you a look as you walk away that makes you start to think your pants have literally caught fire from your bad bad lies. [[go sleep off the lies]]

The ranger is at your door the next morning asking if you've ever had an interest in forestry work or the history of local occult activity and you stop them mid-pitch because okay this fucker //knows//. "I know a secret society when I see one pal. What do you know about the literal god wandering around your picnic areas? What is it really?" The ranger cocks an eyebrow, expression neutral. "If you're talking about that bear from yesterday, that's a bear dude." You take the offered pamphlet and slam the door. Then you proceed to work there for 20+ years. You were right about the secret society, but almost everyone still acts weird when you refer to the bear as a deity. People get real twitchy about labeling the things you're protecting for some reason. At least they let you wear your robes to work sometimes for special occasions. You return to the cabin a few times but mostly make camp near your god's cave when you feel like roughing it. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

You don't cry this time. You used to cry when you were younger. You haven't dreamed about the bear in a while but it was your mom's birthday yesterday so you expected this. The birthdays are harder than the anniversaries, those just remind you of something you've known for 15 years, like your alarm going off when you've already been up for hours. The birthdays remind you that, in a better world, she'd still be alive to get older. You go to the bathroom and drink some water before going back to a deep dreamless sleep. You'll return to the cabin the next time you have a bad day. [[another camper comes along|there's a bear outside]]

"Hey mom?" //"Yeah kiddo?"// "How do you feel about starting a fight club?" //"Hell yeah, a fight club sounds fun."// ''"NO. FIGHT. CLUBS."'' [[wake up]]