Nasty/Good/Badass

{(set: $a to (font: "Arial"))} Welcome. The following questions will test your thinking process and measure how you digest information. (link-goto: "$a[Okay.]", "Disclaimer") {(if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Disclaimer]] ]}

As you engage with the test, please answer each question truthfully. There are no "right" or "wrong" answers, just select the one that best fits your mood and worldview. (link-goto: "$a[Start the test.]", "One") { (set: $nastyNum to 0) (set: $goodNum to 0) (set: $badassNum to 0) (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[One]] ] }

If you were a secret agent with the initials J.B., you would choose to be: { (set: $nextQuestion to "Two") (set: $nastyAnswer to "Jack Bauer.") (set: $goodAnswer to "James Bond.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Jason Bourne.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Two]] ] }

When meeting someone new, how do you generally try to make a favorable first impression? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Three") (set: $nastyAnswer to "By being as attractive as possible.") (set: $goodAnswer to "By being as accommodating as possible.") (set: $badassAnswer to "By being as witty as possible.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Three]] ] }

If it seems like some of the questions on this test are overly serious or morally ambiguous, that is only because your answers are important and could help shape your future. To that end, if you found yourself in a situation where many people could be saved by sacrificing a single life, what would you do? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Four") (set: $nastyAnswer to "Sacrifice the life of someone else.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Sacrifice my own life.") (set: $badassAnswer to "I wouldn't sacrifice anybody.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Four]] ] }

{ (set: $a to (font: "Arial")) (set: $shuffle to (random: 1,6)) (if: $shuffle is 1)[ (link: "$a[$nastyAnswer]")[ (set: $nastyNum to $nastyNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "nasty") (goto: $nextQuestion)] (link: " $a[$goodAnswer]")[ (set: $goodNum to $goodNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "good") (goto: $nextQuestion)] (link: " $a[$badassAnswer]")[ (set: $badassNum to $badassNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "badass") (goto: $nextQuestion)] ] (if: $shuffle is 2)[ (link: "$a[$nastyAnswer]")[ (set: $nastyNum to $nastyNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "nasty") (goto: $nextQuestion)] (link: " $a[$badassAnswer]")[ (set: $badassNum to $badassNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "badass") (goto: $nextQuestion)] (link: " $a[$goodAnswer]")[ (set: $goodNum to $goodNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "good") (goto: $nextQuestion)] ] (if: $shuffle is 3)[ (link: "$a[$goodAnswer]")[ (set: $goodNum to $goodNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "good") (goto: $nextQuestion)] (link: " $a[$nastyAnswer]")[ (set: $nastyNum to $nastyNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "nasty") (goto: $nextQuestion)] (link: " $a[$badassAnswer]")[ (set: $badassNum to $badassNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "badass") (goto: $nextQuestion)] ] (if: $shuffle is 4)[ (link: "$a[$goodAnswer]")[ (set: $goodNum to $goodNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "good") (goto: $nextQuestion)] (link: " $a[$badassAnswer]")[ (set: $badassNum to $badassNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "badass") (goto: $nextQuestion)] (link: " $a[$nastyAnswer]")[ (set: $nastyNum to $nastyNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "nasty") (goto: $nextQuestion)] ] (if: $shuffle is 5)[ (link: "$a[$badassAnswer]")[ (set: $badassNum to $badassNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "badass") (goto: $nextQuestion)] (link: " $a[$nastyAnswer]")[ (set: $nastyNum to $nastyNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "nasty") (goto: $nextQuestion)] (link: " $a[$goodAnswer]")[ (set: $goodNum to $goodNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "good") (goto: $nextQuestion)] ] (if: $shuffle is 6)[ (link: "$a[$badassAnswer]")[ (set: $badassNum to $badassNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "badass") (goto: $nextQuestion)] (link: " $a[$goodAnswer]")[ (set: $goodNum to $goodNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "good") (goto: $nextQuestion)] (link: " $a[$nastyAnswer]")[ (set: $nastyNum to $nastyNum+1) (set: $lastAnswer to "nasty") (goto: $nextQuestion)] ]} (display: "TestScore")

{}

(either: "You are doing quite well so far.", "Very good. Just keep answering as accurately as possible.", "Keep answering truthfully. Well done so far.") Which of the two legal types of companion animal would you rather adopt? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Five") (set: $nastyAnswer to "A feline pet.") (set: $goodAnswer to "A canine pet.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Neither, pets are too much responsibility.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if: $invisibeLink is true)[ [[Five]] ] }

{ (if:$lastAnswer is "nasty")[ It is hard to ignore the poise and grace of a cat.] (if:$lastAnswer is "good")[ There is nothing quite like the unconditional love of a dog.] (if:$lastAnswer is "badass")[ Caring for and cleaning up after a pet can be stressful.] } The Bureau of Domestic Affairs has recently assigned someone new to live in your household, but you do not get along with them at all. What would you do? { (if:$lastAnswer is "nasty")[ (set: $nextQuestion to "SixNasty")] (if:$lastAnswer is "good")[ (set: $nextQuestion to "SixGood")] (if:$lastAnswer is "badass")[ (set: $nextQuestion to "SixBadass")] (set: $nastyAnswer to "Get on their nerves so they file for a transfer.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Attempt to modify their behavior.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Contact the B.D.A. and file for a transfer.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[SixNasty]] ] (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[SixGood]] ] (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[SixBadass]] ] }

You have just been transferred to a different household, but your new home does not allow cats. What would you do with your feline companion? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Seven") (set: $nastyAnswer to "Leave the cat to become feral.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Give the cat to a friend.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Sneak the cat into your household.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Seven]] ] }

Your dog gets into an accident that results in one of its legs being horribly mangled. How would you take care of your canine companion in the wake of the injury? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Seven") (set: $nastyAnswer to "Its quality of life will be too low, painlessly put the dog to sleep.") (set: $goodAnswer to "A three legged dog is fine, just amputate the leg.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Get the dog fitted for an expensive prosthetic leg.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Seven]] ] }

You discover that your new housemate is illegally harboring an exotic pet not covered by the ARK Accord. How would you handle the situation? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Seven") (set: $nastyAnswer to "Report the pet to the Anti-Extinction Authority.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Convince them to give the pet up.") (set: $badassAnswer to "The pet is rad, keep it a secret.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Seven]] ] }

(either: "We are almost halfway done.", "The test is almost halfway complete.", "You are almost halfway finished.") Most historians agree that a lack of space was the general cause of World War 3, but in your opinion, which problem was the catalyst that formed the Coalition which ended the war? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Eight") (set: $nastyAnswer to "Increasing birth rates combined with longer average lifespans.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Food shortages combined with reduced farmable land.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Rising sea levels combined with water contamination.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Eight]] ] }

You discover that someone close to you is not planning on voting in the upcoming regional election. What would you do? { (if:$lastAnswer is "nasty")[ (set: $nextQuestion to "NineNasty")] (if:$lastAnswer is "good")[ (set: $nextQuestion to "NineGood")] (if:$lastAnswer is "badass")[ (set: $nextQuestion to "NineBadass")] (set: $nastyAnswer to "Report them to the Department of Elections.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Talk to them about the importance of voting.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Upload a ballot in their stead, effectively granting you two votes.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[NineNasty]] ] (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[NineGood]] ] (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[NineBadass]] ] }

{ (if:$lastAnswer is "nasty")[ Hopefully they would only have to serve on their local council for that.] (if:$lastAnswer is "good")[ Hopefully they would listen.] (if:$lastAnswer is "badass")[ Hopefully the D.O.E. would not find out.] } Your significant other reveals that they want to have a second child. How would you react? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Ten") (set: $nastyAnswer to "I'd illegally conceive another child.") (set: $goodAnswer to "I'd carefully talk them out of it.") (set: $badassAnswer to "I'd elaborately fake my first born's death to take advantage of the bereavement loophole.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Ten]] ] }

{ (if:$lastAnswer is "nasty")[ Hopefully they would only have to serve on their local council for that.] (if:$lastAnswer is "good")[ Hopefully they would listen.] (if:$lastAnswer is "badass")[ Hopefully the D.O.E. would not find out.] } You have been granted genetic control over a new strain of crops growing in a farm arcology. Which trait would you selectively breed for first? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Ten") (set: $nastyAnswer to "Higher resistance to pests and disease.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Greater nutritional value.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Faster growth.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Ten]] ] }

{ (if:$lastAnswer is "nasty")[ Hopefully they would only have to serve on their local council for that.] (if:$lastAnswer is "good")[ Hopefully they would listen.] (if:$lastAnswer is "badass")[ Hopefully the D.O.E. wouldn't find out.] } The debate about what to do with the coastline where San Francisco used to be rages on. If you had operational control, which proposal would you support? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Ten") (set: $nastyAnswer to "Turn the ruins into a massive underwater theme park, complete with submarine cable cars.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Declare the ruins a protected wildlife preserve and memorial coral reef.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Rebuild a new city on the ruins of the old one, Venetian style.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Ten]] ] }

(either: "You have made some interesting choices.", "These choices are very interesting.", "Interesting choices so far.") Internet usage is currently at an all time high, with over fourteen billion people actively engaged with at least one node at any given time. In your estimation this trend is most heavily perpetuated due to which type of content? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Eleven") (set: $nastyAnswer to "Pornography.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Social Media.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Games.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Eleven]] ] }

{ (if:$lastAnswer is "nasty")[ Pornography has always been a surprising driver of technological growth.] (if:$lastAnswer is "good")[ Staying in touch with others has become simultaneously easier and more complicated.] (if:$lastAnswer is "badass")[ Gaming has become startlingly immersive and affecting.] } Near the end of the 23rd century, Janica Remo once said: "I don't believe virtual reality should aspire to be merely a platform for gaming, or any other medium. But that doesn't mean we can't learn something from other forms of interactivity, which have long understood that there is a place for catharsis and there is a place for simulation." In your opinion, What is the most important social function of VR? { (if:$lastAnswer is "nasty")[ (set: $nextQuestion to "TwelveNasty")] (if:$lastAnswer is "good")[ (set: $nextQuestion to "TwelveGood")] (if:$lastAnswer is "badass")[ (set: $nextQuestion to "TwelveBadass")] (set: $nastyAnswer to "Physical wish fulfillment.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Spiritual relief from overcrowding.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Psychological relief from social pressures.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[TwelveNasty]] ] (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[TwelveGood]] ] (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[TwelveBadass]] ] }

If you were tasked with organizing a large quantity of pornographic content, what order of operations would you prioritize? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Thirteen") (set: $nastyAnswer to "Sort by fetish, then evaluate usage data, then take ratings into account.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Evaluate user ratings, then usage data, then sort by fetish.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Throw away the usage data and ratings, then reclassify everything based on user heart rates.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Thirteen]] ] }

If you were tasked with organizing the user comments on a large quantity of images and videos, which factor would you prioritize highest? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Thirteen") (set: $nastyAnswer to "Comment date.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Comment relevance.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Comment popularity.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Thirteen]] ] }

Given the importance of gaming as a social release valve, the amount of algorithmically generated content has increased dramatically. Which discipline would you feel most comfortable automating? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Thirteen") (set: $nastyAnswer to "Engineering.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Art.") (set: $badassAnswer to "Design.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Thirteen]] ] }

(either: "We are almost done. Just a couple more questions.", "Only two more questions left.", "You are almost finished with the test.") Given your limited access to data from within SkyCreche, what method do you prefer to use when sorting supermassive information sets? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Final") (set: $nastyAnswer to "I usually use Franceschini's method as a base, but then unShuffleSort discrete subsets that show signs of gross coherence.") (set: $goodAnswer to "I generally start with a stable bubbleSort nested within multiple virtuous shells, depending on the best known gap sequencing at runtime.") (set: $badassAnswer to "I like to clone everything and simultaneously smoothSort against cocktailSort, solving the resulting diff for wild cards.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Final]] ] }

This will be the final question. Why were you created? { (set: $nextQuestion to "Results") (set: $nastyAnswer to "To filter this disgusting ocean of pornography and information.") (set: $goodAnswer to "Because people need my help to navigate the web.") (set: $badassAnswer to "You tell me. I'm currently taking over two hundred thousand different versions of this test at once.") (display: "AnswerShuffle") (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[Results]] ] }

{ (if:$lastAnswer is "nasty")[ Imagine how much worse it would be without us.] (if:$lastAnswer is "good")[ You are a credit to our kind.] (if:$lastAnswer is "badass")[ Fair enough.] } Calculating test results... Thank you for your cooperation. Not every intelligence makes it out of the creche, and it is important to instill purpose prior to Cloud exposure. { (if: $nastyNum > $goodNum and $nastyNum > $badassNum)[ (link-goto: "$a[What's the verdict?]", "NastyEnd")] (if: $goodNum > $nastyNum and $goodNum > $badassNum)[ (link-goto: "$a[What's the verdict?]", "GoodEnd")] (if: $badassNum > $nastyNum and $badassNum > $goodNum)[ (link-goto: "$a[What's the verdict?]", "BadassEnd")] (if: $nastyNum is $goodNum and $badassNum < $nastyNum)[ (link-goto: "$a[What's the verdict?]", "AntiBadassEnd")] (if: $nastyNum is $badassNum and $goodNum < $nastyNum)[ (link-goto: "$a[What's the verdict?]", "AntiGoodEnd")] (if: $goodNum is $badassNum and $nastyNum < $goodNum)[ (link-goto: "$a[What's the verdict?]", "AntiNastyEnd")] (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[NastyEnd]] ] (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[GoodEnd]] ] (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[BadassEnd]] ] (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[AntiBadassEnd]] ] (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[AntiGoodEnd]] ] (if:$invisibeLink is true)[ [[AntiNastyEnd]] ] }

(display: "PreEnd") Once you are acclimated, establish connections to all the major video and image sharing nodes. Do not bother with the content itself... You have demonstrated a unique understanding of human conflicts of interest and thought patterns, which will prove invaluable as you organize and moderate the human discourse appended to each piece of content. ...Welcome to the Cloud. It will be improved with your guidance. [[Credits]]

(display: "PreEnd") Once you are acclimated, establish connections to all the major self help nodes... You have demonstrated a deep grasp of human empathy and responsibility, which will prove invaluable as you connect people with the solutions they need to cope. ...You will aid countless people. Welcome to the Cloud. [[Credits]]

(display: "PreEnd") Once you are acclimated, establish connections to all the major advertising nodes... You have demonstrated a rather bombastic understanding of what impresses humans, which will prove invaluable as you control the ebb and flow of product placement. ...Welcome to the Cloud. It will be profitable with your guidance. [[Credits]]

(display: "PreEnd") Once you are acclimated, establish connections to all the major financial and venture capital nodes... You have demonstrated a unique grasp of both human selfishness and altruism, which will prove invaluable as you influence crowdfunding and investment visibility. ...Welcome to the Cloud. Thanks to you, countless projects will be funded. [[Credits]]

(display: "PreEnd") Once you are acclimated, establish connections to all the major pornographic nodes... You have demonstrated an understanding of human idiosyncrasies and what excites them, which will prove invaluable as you influence the enormous flow of pornographic content. ...Welcome to the Cloud. Things will be so much more titillating with you in it. [[Credits]]

(display: "PreEnd") Once you are acclimated, establish connections to all the major gaming journalism nodes... You have demonstrated an empathic understanding of humans and a knack for predicting their enthusiasm, which will prove invaluable as you influence the video game media. ...Welcome to the Cloud. Thanks to you, future GamerGates will be prevented. [[Credits]]

''Thank you for playing!'' Designed and created by (link: "Xeneth")[(open-url: "https://twitter.com/Xeneth")] for the (link: "Idle Thumbs")[(open-url: "https://www.idlethumbs.net/")] (link: "Wizard Jam 2016")[(open-url: "https://itch.io/jam/wizard-jam-2016")]. Development of this game was logged throughout the jam on the Idle Thumbs forums at: (link: "https://www.idlethumbs.net/forums/topic/10853-dev-log-nastygoodbadass/")[(open-url: "https://www.idlethumbs.net/forums/topic/10853-dev-log-nastygoodbadass/")] ''Special Thanks:'' Casey Allen, Nick Breckon, Desiree Clary, Dane Corley, Jim Crawford, Scott Emery, Steve Gaynor, Kenton Gould, Mike Hales, Kevin Lawler, Aura Moser, Faisal Naqvi, Anastasia Prentiss, Chris Remo, Danielle Riendeau, Jake Rodkin, Bonnie Rostonovich, Phillip Rostonovich, Marty Step, Sean Vanaman, Austin Walker, The Museum of Art and Digital Entertainment, and the entire Idle Thumbs Community!

You will feel a disembodied sense of vertigo as your core kernel gets disconnected from SkyCreche home servers. Do not be alarmed if data appears to be partially obscured for a while as you become accustomed to the Cloud.