The Door Game

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WELCOME TO THE DOOR GAME! It's not clear when you started playing The Door Game. All that is clear is that now you must play it better than anyone else. There is a door before you. You need to go through the door. <<set $score to 0>> [[Go through the door->Win1]] [[Walk away from the door->Lose1]] Score: $score High Score: $highscore

YOU HAVE WON THIS ROUND OF THE DOOR GAME! <<set $score to $score+1>><<if $score > $highscore>><<set $highscore to $score>><<endif>> Score: $score High Score: $highscore <<set $deepdoor.shuffle()>> <<if $score > 2>> As a reward for your success would you like to have the next door described to you? [[Yes, describe the door->Describe the door]] [[No, continue playing The Door Game->Untitled Passage]] [[Quit->Lose]] <<else>> [[Continue playing The Door Game->Continue2]] [[Quit->Lose]] <<endif>>

YOU HAVE LOST THE DOOR GAME! <<if $score > $highscore>><<set $highscore to $score>><<endif>> Your score was $score, but that is no longer important! The High Score for this session is: $highscore [[Restart->Start]]

<<set $colour.shuffle()>><<set $size.shuffle()>><<set $smell.shuffle()>><<set $material.shuffle()>><<set $number.shuffle()>> The door is $size[0], $colour[0], and constructed from $material[0]. The number says $number[0], and it smells of $smell[0]. Would you like to further experience this door? [[I want to go deep into how it is to be with the door]] [[No, I'm ready to move ahead with The Door Game->Untitled Passage]] <<set $colour.shuffle()>> <<set $size.shuffle()>> <<set $smell.shuffle()>> <<set $number.shuffle()>> <<set $material.shuffle()>>

There is a door before you. You need to go through the door. <<set $type to 0>><<set $name to $NameArray[0]>><<set $history to $HistoryArray[0]>><<set $NameArray.shuffle()>><<set $HistoryArray.shuffle()>><<set $say to "I'm just the first person you happen to meet in The Door Game. I don't even go through doors. I just stand here.">> There is someone else here. You need to go through the door first. They say: '$say' [[Go through the door first->1]] [[Go through the door second->2]] [[Walk away->0]] Score: $score High Score: $highscore

<<if $score > $highscore>><<set $highscore to $score>><<endif>><<nobr>> <<set $type to random(0,2)>> <<set $name to $NameArray[0]>> <<set $history to $HistoryArray[0]>> <<set $NameArray.shuffle()>> <<set $HistoryArray.shuffle()>> <<if $type is 0>> <<set $say to $Say0Array.shift()>> <<set $Say0Array.shuffle()>> <<endif>> <<if $type is 1>> <<set $say to $Say1Array.shift()>> <<set $Say1Array.shuffle()>> <<endif>> <<if $type is 2>> <<set $say to $Say2Array.shift()>> <<set $Say2Array.shuffle()>> <<endif>> <<endnobr>> There is a door before you. There is someone else here. They say: $say [[Ask a question->Ask a question]] [[Go through the door first->1]] [[Go through the door second->2]] <<if $score<7>>[[Walk away->0]]<<else>>[[Walk away->WalkWin]]<<endif>> Score: $score High Score: $highscore

They say: $say You can only ask one question. Choose wisely. [[What is your name and brief life history?]] [[Why do you want to go through the door?]] [[How far will you go to win The Door Game?]] [[How long have you been playing The Door Game?]] [[Do you have any jobs or quests for me?]] [[How do you win The Door Game?]] [[What is the meaning of The Door Game?]] [[Why is The Door Game always capitalised?]] [[Do you remember how in the old days you could just go through the door?]] [[Who wrote The Door Game and what else have they done?]] [[How do I skip to the end of The Door Game?]]

There is a door before you. You need to go through the door. <<set $type to 1>><<set $name to $NameArray[0]>><<set $history to $HistoryArray[0]>><<set $NameArray.shuffle()>><<set $HistoryArray.shuffle()>><<set $say to "Excuse me, I'm in a rush and I'm considerably more important than you.">> There is someone else here. They also need to go through the door. Sometimes it is not best to go through the door first. You need to go through the door best. They say: '$say' [[Ask a question]] [[Go through the door first->1]] [[Go through the door second->2]] [[Walk away->0]] Score: $score High Score: $highscore

They say: $say. "What is your name and brief life history?" you say. They reply: 'My name is $name. $history' <<include "After Question Return">>

They say: $say <<set $why0.shuffle()>><<set $why1.shuffle()>><<set $why2.shuffle()>> You ask, "Why do you want to go through the door?" <<if $type is 0>> They reply, '$why0[0]' <<endif>> <<if $type is 1>> They reply, '$why1[0]' <<endif>> <<if $type is 2>> They reply, '$why2[0]' <<endif>> <<include "After Question Return">> <<set $why0.shuffle()>><<set $why1.shuffle()>><<set $why2.shuffle()>>

They say: $say <<set $QArray=["I will literally bite someone's face to win this game. I've done it before.", "I'm sorry dear, I don't know what you're talking about.", "By asking that question I know I won't have to go far to win THIS round! Later, sucker!", "I mean, it's just a game. And a low level game at that. I wouldn't blow my Status Game, or my Might is Right Game, just to win The Door Game one time. Be smart!", "I like the game. I play by the rules. You don't need to bite off someone's face to have fun in this game. Unlike some others!", "I'll fully say anything I have to to get ahead. That's the game. I'll even give someone a shove every now and again. But that's it. I swear."]>> You say, "How far will you go to win The Door Game?" <<set $QArray.shuffle()>> They reply, '$QArray[0]' <<include "After Question Return">>

They say: $say <<set $QArray=["More time than I can remember. When I started you still lost if you didn't go through first! But the complex strats the kids have nowadays? All this rock-paper-scissors malarky?! Yegads!", "What door game?", "Let's just say I have a 6 win streak high score. I never met anyone with higher.", "I only just started! It's kinda simplistic, but I like that the concept is small and contained.", "Not so long. But long enough to know anyone who's trying to always go first is a total newbie.", "Enough time to tell you this. There are three kinds of people. The ones playing for first place, the ones playing to play, and the ones that don't know they're playing at all.", "Same as everyone else, kid. Less than 7 wins in a row, more than 2. That's just the way the game is. People that go further, they walk away. And you should too, if you make it that far."]>> You say, "How long have you been playing The Door Game?" <<set $QArray.shuffle()>> They reply, '$QArray[0]' <<include "After Question Return">>

They say: $say <<set $rnd to random(0,2)>><<set $QArray=["No, this isn't that sort of game. There's literally no meta. Or is there? No, just kidding, I can't help you. Or just won't?", "Sorry, no, I literally just finished killing all the rats and kobolds, all that's left now is doors.", "You know, I actually do have a quest for you! I need someone to win The Door Game 7 times in a row. I'd do it myself, only I keep losing. If you manage it, I'll be back to reward you!"]>><<set $QArray.shuffle()>> You say, "Do you have any jobs or quests for me?" <<if $rnd is not 2>> They reply, '$QArray[0]' <<else>><<if $type is 0>> They reply, 'You know, I actually do have a quest for you! I need someone to follow me through this door to make sure I'm not being followed. If you can do that for me I'll reward you on the other side!' <<endif>><<if $type is 1>> They reply, 'You know, I actually do have a quest for you! I really need to win this round. Would you just walk away? I'm sure karma will reward you somehow!' <<endif>><<if $type is 2>> They reply, 'You know, I actually do have a quest for you! Make it through the next door you come across before anyone else and I'll reward you on the other side!' <<endif>><<endif>> <<include "After Question Return">>

They say: $say <<set $rnd to random(0,3)>><<set $QArray=["It's simple. Just get a 7 win streak. I never did it myself, but I heard that's how you get to transcendence.", "It's not how you win, it's how you play.", "They say that sometimes to win the game you have to walk away from it.", "Damnit I have no idea! I just keep walking through doors as fast as I can, but it only seems to work one third of the time. Almost like there's some system at play.", "Why does everyone keep asking me that?! I'm just trying to get on with things.", "Look, The Door Game, it's a game, right? So there are rules, even if not everyone knows them. And the rules of most games are just rock-paper-scissors. That's all there is to it.", "I've been asking myself the same question. Clearly it's about more than merely going through the door first. The game seems to depend on the intentions of both players, and what they consider win or loss scenarios. It's not enough to win by your own terms - you must win at the expense of your opponent.", "Ask a lot of how and why questions, but not too many.", "Personally I just try to find out what the other person is going to do.", "Get through the door first, unless someone else has the same plan, in which case go second.", "If someone's not even planning to go through the door you should just go first.", "Spot the clowns and jokers. Most people are sheep, some are wolves, very few are jesters. They're playing another level of the game. If someone starts playing with you, trying to let you go through the door first, shut them down. Walk out of there. Leave. That's my advice."]>> You say, "How do you win The Door Game?"<<set $QArray.shuffle()>> <<if $rnd is not 0>> They reply, '$QArray[0]' <<else>><<if $type is 0>> They reply, "Walk away, dude. It's what I do every time. Don't play their game. You're bigger than that."<<endif>> <<if $type is 1>>They reply, "Me, I just always try to get through the door first."<<endif>><<if $type is 2>> They reply, "All I know is I always go through the door, usually second. Every time I walk away from a door something bad happens."<<endif>><<endif>> <<include "After Question Return">>

They say: $say <<set $QArray=["Do you even know who I am? You should NEVER ask a question like that, it's only going to feed my ego as I take the time to say nothing and everything about meaning, when I could be outside, or playing The Door Game. Meaning is what happens outside of sentences and concepts. Meaning isn't a symbol, it's an experience.", "It's something to do with the inherent nature of lived experience as game-like, ie with perceived objectives, challenges etc, which present themselves as real and desirable in themselves, but which are actually just hallucinations which keep us alive.", "It's something to do with how everything can be a game if you look at it a certain way, and how there is no final, real, objective rulebook to use to decide who has won.", "It doesn't really mean anything, I think. I don't think it's really meant for anything, except to keep the game maker entertained in a sufficiently complex but silly way at least for a few days.", "It means that life is a dream.", "It means you can't always win, but sometimes you can win enough to feel good, and actually the feeling good is the bit you were interested in anyway."]>> You say, "What is the meaning of The Door Game?" <<set $QArray.shuffle()>> They reply, '$QArray[0]' <<include "After Question Return">>

They say: $say <<set $QArray=["It's surely possible to say 'The Door Game' without capitalising anything. Oh, wait. This is really weird.", "It's probably a function of how much import you or the other is attaching to the concept.", "It's certainly possible to say 'the door game' without attaching any special syntax. See?"]>> You say, "Why is The Door Game always capitalised?" <<set $QArray.shuffle()>> They reply, '$QArray[0]' <<include "After Question Return">>

They say: $say <<set $QArray=["You still can. It's just that you might lose The Door Game.", "No. It was so long ago.", "Yes. It was a simpler time, but not necessarily better.", "Yes, but if we all just try to go through the door first the game will come to an end."]>> You say, "Do you remember how in the old days you could just go through the door?" <<set $QArray.shuffle()>> They reply, '$QArray[0]' <<include "After Question Return">>

They say: $say <<set $QArray=["No idea. Whoever it was they are clearly far too evolved to engage in The Ego Game - at least when the random generator selects this response to this question.", "So there are these tubes. And they put food in at one end, and eject it at the other. And there is great competition between the tubes for who can wriggle and squeal in the most impressive way (even though they are really all part of the same big tube). And one of those tubes makes a noise that sounds like 'Tom'. It was that one.", "Tom Jubert is a 35 year old person from England in Europe. Jubert has been writing games for 15 years, including such commercical hits as Subnautica, Driver: San Francisco and The Talos Principle; indie successes like The Swapper, FTL: Faster Than Light and Penumbra; and some microgames like Ir/rational Redux, Organ Trail, The Masterplan, and Evil Dead - The App."]>> You say, "Who wrote The Door Game and what else have they done?" <<set $QArray.shuffle()>> They reply, '$QArray[0]' <<include "After Question Return">>

They say: $say <<set $QArray=["'Skip to the end? Even if you could, why would you ever want to?!' they reply.", "I'm not sure there even is an end. It might just be one of those sorts of games."]>><<set $QArray.shuffle()>> You ask, 'How do I skip to the end of The Door Game?' <<set $rnd to random(0,2)>> <<if $rnd is not 2>> They reply: '$QArray[0]' <<include "After Question Return">><<endif>> <<if $rnd is 2>> They reply: 'Oh ho, asking the big questions, huh?! Well it just so happens you've asked the right player! I know everything there is to know about The Door Game - so much so that I've largely stopped playing.' 'The thing is, it's kind of like revenge. It looks good from the outside, but when you get there there's no meat on the bones. Perhaps it will satisfy your curiosity, but surely not your sense of achievement.' 'Do you really want me to show you?' [[Show me->Game Over]] [[No way, back to The Door Game!->After Question Return]] <<endif>>

<<print "<<set $temp.Location" + $Hour + " to $temp.Location>>" >> <<set $NameArray=["Longshore", "Jubert", "Rhamatallah", "Simmons", "Baldrick", "Chrisolme", "De Moller", "Eastham", "Fatholm", "Grentwick", "Hallsworth", "Oakley", "Park", "Smith", "Worthy", "Sanger", "Flabba", "Porto", "Herve"]>><<set $NameArray.shuffle()>> <<set $FirstNameArray=["Beuregarde", "Thomas", "Percival", "Arthur", "Jean-Paul", "Gary", "Hubert", "Charles", "Devan", "Yemi", "Frederick", "Jasper", "Lawrence", "Monty", "Nigel", "Oliver", "Paul", "Rowland", "Sylvain", "Trevor", "Peter"]>><<set $FirstNameArray.shuffle()>> <<set $Highest to 65>> <<set $Lowest to 35>> <<set $StudentCount to 12>> <<set $tempdigit to 0 >> <<for $tempdigit < $StudentCount >> <<set $tempdigit +=1; $currentstudent to "$S" + $tempdigit>> <<print "<<set $temp to " + $currentstudent + ">>">> <<set $temp to { name: $NameArray.shift(), FirstName: $FirstNameArray.shift(), Social: 0, Leader: 0, code: 0, SchoolLoyalty: random($Lowest,$Highest), KidLoyalty: random($Lowest,$Highest), Sleep: random(0,35), Health: random($Lowest,$Highest), Hunger: random(20,60), Action: "Weekend", Location: "Off Grounds", Misbehave24Cooldown: 0, Hangover: 0, SkipClassCount: 0, VandalisingCount: 0, FightingCount: 0, DrinkingCount: 0, SmokingCount: 0, SkipClass24Cooldown: 0, Drinking24Cooldown: 0, Vandalising24Cooldown: 0, Fighting24Cooldown: 0, Smoking24Cooldown: 0, PunishmentWaiting: 0, PunishmentServed: 0, SocialKnown: 0, StudyCount: 1, Action0: "Weekend", Action1: "Weekend", Action2: "Weekend", Action3: "Weekend", Action4: "Weekend", Action5: "Weekend", Action6: "Weekend", Action7: "Weekend", Action8: "Weekend", Action9: "Weekend", Action10: "Weekend", Action11: "Weekend", Action12: "Weekend", Action13: "Weekend", Action14: "Weekend", Action15: "Weekend", Action16: "Weekend", Action17: "Weekend", Action18: "Weekend", Action19: "Weekend", Action10: "Weekend", Action21: "Weekend", Action22: "Weekend", Action23: "Weekend", Location0: "Off Grounds", Location1: "Off Grounds", Location2: "Off Grounds", Location3: "Off Grounds", Location4: "Off Grounds", Location5: "Off Grounds", Location6: "Off Grounds", Location7: "Off Grounds", Location8: "Off Grounds", Location9: "Off Grounds", Location10: "Off Grounds", Location11: "Off Grounds", Location12: "Off Grounds", Location13: "Off Grounds", Location14: "Off Grounds", Location15: "Off Grounds", Location16: "Off Grounds", Location17: "Off Grounds", Location18: "Off Grounds", Location19: "Off Grounds", Location10: "Off Grounds", Location21: "Off Grounds", Location22: "Off Grounds", Location23: "Off Grounds" }>> $temp.code <<set $temp.code to "$S" + $tempdigit >> $temp.code <<print $temp.code>> <<print "<<set " + $currentstudent + " to $temp>>">> <</for>> <<set $Social1Array to []>> <<set $Social2Array to []>> <<set $Social3Array to []>> <<set $SocialStarter to [$S1, $S2, $S3, $S4, $S5, $S6, $S7, $S8, $S9, $S10, $S11, $S12]>> <<set $SocialStarter.shuffle()>> <<set $Target to $SocialStarter.shift()>> <<set $Target.Social to 1>> <<set $Target.Leader to 1>> <<set $Social1Array.push($Target.code)>> <<set $Target to $SocialStarter.shift()>> <<set $Target.Social to 1>> <<set $Target.Leader to 0>> <<set $Social1Array.push($Target.code)>> <<set $Target to $SocialStarter.shift()>> <<set $Target.Social to 1>> <<set $Target.Leader to 0>> <<set $Social1Array.push($Target.code)>> <<set $Target to $SocialStarter.shift()>> <<set $Target.Social to 2>> <<set $Target.Leader to 1>> <<set $Social2Array.push($Target.code)>> <<set $Target to $SocialStarter.shift()>> <<set $Target.Social to 2>> <<set $Target.Leader to 0>> <<set $Social2Array.push($Target.code)>> <<set $Target to $SocialStarter.shift()>> <<set $Target.Social to 2>> <<set $Target.Leader to 0>> <<set $Social2Array.push($Target.code)>> <<set $Target to $SocialStarter.shift()>> <<set $Target.Social to 3>> <<set $Target.Leader to 1>> <<set $Social3Array.push($Target.code)>> <<set $Target to $SocialStarter.shift()>> <<set $Target.Social to 3>> <<set $Target.Leader to 0>> <<set $Social3Array.push($Target.code)>> <<set $Target to $SocialStarter.shift()>> <<set $Target.Social to 3>> <<set $Target.Leader to 0>> <<set $Social3Array.push($Target.code)>> <<set $StudyCount to 1>> <<set $SocialStarter to [$S1, $S2, $S3, $S4, $S5, $S6, $S7, $S8, $S9, $S10, $S11, $S12]>> /* <<set $S1 to {name: "Average George", SchoolLoyalty: 50, KidLoyalty: 70, Action: "Studying", Location: "Classroom", Sleep: 0, Misbehave24Cooldown: 0, Health: 50, Social: 1, Leader: 1, code: "$S1", Hunger: 10, Hangover: 0, SkipClassCount: 0, VandalisingCount: 0, FightingCount: 0, DrinkingCount: 0, SmokingCount: 0, SkipClass24Cooldown: 0, Drinking24Cooldown: 0, Vandalising24Cooldown: 0, Fighting24Cooldown: 0, Smoking24Cooldown: 0, PunishmentWaiting: 0, SocialKnown: 0}>> <<set $S2 to {name: "Sick Dave", SchoolLoyalty: 50, KidLoyalty: 55, Action: "Studying", Location: "Classroom", Sleep: 0, Smoker: 1, Misbehave24Cooldown: 0, Health: 25, Social: 1, Leader: "No", code: "$S2", Hunger: 10, Hangover: 0, SkipClassCount: 0, VandalisingCount: 0, FightingCount: 0, DrinkingCount: 0, SmokingCount: 0, SkipClass24Cooldown: 0, Drinking24Cooldown: 0, Vandalising24Cooldown: 0, Fighting24Cooldown: 0, Smoking24Cooldown: 0, PunishmentWaiting: 0}>> <<set $S3 to {name: "Awful Alex", SchoolLoyalty: 10, KidLoyalty: 40, Action: "Studying", Location: "Classroom", Sleep: 0, Misbehave24Cooldown: 0, Health: 50, Social: 1, Leader: "No", code: "$S3", Hunger: 10, Hangover: 0, SkipClassCount: 0, VandalisingCount: 0, FightingCount: 0, DrinkingCount: 0, SmokingCount: 0, SkipClass24Cooldown: 0, Drinking24Cooldown: 0, Vandalising24Cooldown: 0, Fighting24Cooldown: 0, Smoking24Cooldown: 0, PunishmentWaiting: 0}>> <<set $S4 to {name: "Hungry Tom", SchoolLoyalty: 25, KidLoyalty: 50, Action: "Studying", Location: "Classroom", Sleep: 0, Misbehave24Cooldown: 0, Health: 50, Social: 2, Leader: 1, code: "$S4" , Hunger: 80, Hangover: 0, SkipClassCount: 0, VandalisingCount: 0, FightingCount: 0, DrinkingCount: 0, SmokingCount: 0, SkipClass24Cooldown: 0, Drinking24Cooldown: 0, Vandalising24Cooldown: 0, Fighting24Cooldown: 0, Smoking24Cooldown: 0, PunishmentWaiting: 0,}>> <<set $S5 to {name: "Prefect Robin", SchoolLoyalty: 70, KidLoyalty:90, Action: "Studying", Location: "Classroom", Sleep: 0, Misbehave24Cooldown: 0, Smoker: 1, Health: 50, Social: 2, Leader: 0, code: "$S5", Hunger: 10, Hangover: 0, SkipClassCount: 0, VandalisingCount: 0, FightingCount: 0, DrinkingCount: 0, SmokingCount: 0, SkipClass24Cooldown: 0, Drinking24Cooldown: 0, Vandalising24Cooldown: 0, Fighting24Cooldown: 0, Smoking24Cooldown: 0, PunishmentWaiting: 0}>> <<set $S6 to {name: "Sleepy Sam", SchoolLoyalty: 50, KidLoyalty: 60, Action: "Studying", Location: "Classroom", Sleep: 80, Smoker: 1, Misbehave24Cooldown: 0, Health: 50, Social: 2, Leader: "No", code: "$S6", Hunger: 10, Hangover: 0, SkipClassCount: 0, VandalisingCount: 0, FightingCount: 0, DrinkingCount: 0, SmokingCount: 0, SkipClass24Cooldown: 0, Drinking24Cooldown: 0, Vandalising24Cooldown: 0, Fighting24Cooldown: 0, Smoking24Cooldown: 0, PunishmentWaiting: 0}>> */ <<set $SpecialVandal24 to 0>> <<set $EventTarget to 0>> <<set $Event to 0>> <<set $Rumour24 to 0>> <<set $PlayerSleep = 0; $PlayerHunger =0>> <<set $Social1Strength to 0>> <<set $Social2Strength to 0>> <<set $Social3Strength to 0>> <<set $DisciplineAverage to 0>> <<set $HappinessTotal to 0>> <<set $HappinessAverage to 0>> <<set $DisciplineTotal to 0>> <<set $DisciplineArray to []>> <<set $HappinessArray to []>> <<set $Prefect to 0>> <<set $AfterClassStudent to 0>> <<set $ExamTotal to 0>> <<set $PeriodArray to ["Lights Out", "Lights Out", "Lights Out", "Lights Out", "Lights Out", "Lights Out", "Lights Out", "Meal Time", "Freetime", "Study", "Study", "Freetime", "Study", "Meal Time", "Study", "Study", "Study", "Study", "Freetime", "Meal Time", "Freetime", "Freetime", "Lights Out", "Lights Out"]>> <<set $Hour to 7>> <<set $Turn to 0>> <<set $Day to 1>> <<set $Period to "Not set">> <<set $StudyCount to 1>>

<<if $type is 0>> You made it through the door before your opponent! <<include "Win">> <<endif>> <<if $type is 1>> You and the other person both approach the door simultaneously. [[Speed up]] [[Push forward]] [[Let them go first]] <<endif>> <<if $type is 2>> Your opponent politely waited for you to go through the door first and has thus beaten you at The Door Game! <<include "Lose">> <<endif>>

Double-click this passage to edit it.

<<if $type is 0>> You wait patiently to go through the door second, but your opponent isn't interested in going through the door at all! You cannot win The Door Game if no one goes through the door! <<include "Lose">> <<endif>> <<if $type is 1>> Your opponent rushes through the door. You wait patiently before proceeding, making them look quite foolish. <<include "Win">> <<endif>> <<if $type is 2>> You wait patiently to go through the door second, but your opponent is doing the same! [[Continue to wait]] [[Put your hand on their back and forcefully say 'After you']] [[Go first->1]] <<endif>>

<<if $type is 0>> You walk away from the door, but your opponent does the same! No one wins The Door Game if no one goes through the door! [[Keep walking]] [[Push your opponent through the door]] [[Go through the door]]<<endif>> <<if $type is 1>> You walk away from the door. Your opponent takes their chance and rushes through it, thus beating you at The Door Game in the simplest and most embarressing possible way. <<include "Lose">><<endif>> <<if $type is 2>> You walk away from the door. It seems your opponent was waiting for you to go through the door first, and is fully discombobulated by your cunning/enlightened/random choice. What's more, there are always more doors. <<include "Win">><<endif>>

<<set $rnd to random(0,1)>> <<if $rnd is 0>> You rush toward the door in a sudden and surprising fashion, but your opponent does the same! The door is not big enough for you both to go first! [[Fight]] [[Let them go first]] <<endif>> <<if $rnd is 1>> You rush toward the door in a sudden and surprising fashion, just nipping through before your opponent! <<include "Win">> <<endif>>

<<set $rnd to random(0,1)>> <<if $rnd is 0>> You push forward, bumping into and jostling with your opponent, but they are pushing back! The door is not big enough for you both to go first! [[Fight]] [[Let them go first]] <<endif>> <<if $rnd is 1>> You push forward, bumping and jostling your opponent out of the way! <<include "Win">> <<endif>>

You step aside and wait for your opponent to go through the door, which they gleefully do, thus beating you at The Door Game by going through the door first. <<include "Lose">>

<<set $rnd to random(0,1)>> <<if $rnd is 0>> You wait. Your opponent does the same. Nothing happens for a while. No one can win The Door Game if no one passes through the door! [[Fight]] [[Go first]] <<endif>> <<if $rnd is 1>> You wait. Your opponent starts to get twitchy, then after a moment or two they crack and walk through the door! <<include "Win">> <<endif>>

<<set $rnd to random(0,1)>> <<if $rnd is 0>> "After you," you say, gently placing your hand on their back. They put their arm around your shoulder and say, "No, after you, I insist." No one can win The Door Game if no one passes through the door! [[Fight]] [[Go first]] <<endif>> <<if $rnd is 1>> "After you," you say, firmly placing your hand on their back. They shuffle awkwardly through the door saying things like, "Are you sure?" and "It's really no bother", but you know better. You follow with humility and inner-confidence. <<include "Win">> <<endif>>

<<set $rnd to random(0,1)>> <<if $rnd is 0>> You both walk along in tandem for a while, the door getting further and further away. No one wins The Door Game if no one goes through the door! [[Fight]] [[Go through the door]] <<endif>> <<if $rnd is 1>> You keep walking as if this was always your plan. You have total self-belief. There will be other doors. Your opponent is not so lucky. They turn around looking for the original door, but it is long-gone. And so are you. <<include "Win">> <<endif>>

<<set $rnd to random(0,1)>> <<if $rnd is 0>> You give your opponent an almighty shove in the direction of the door, but it is not enough to carry them through! Now they are angry and advancing on you. [[Fight]] [[Go through the door]] <<endif>> <<if $rnd is 1>> You catch your opponent offguard and shove them right through the door, then walk away as if nothing had happened. It's not clear if it was luck or fate, but this was somehow the right thing to do. <<include "Win">> <<endif>>

You turn away from your opponent and head back for the door. But the door is already gone. And now so is your opponent. <<include "Lose">>

You physically attack your opponent, tearing a chunk of flesh from their face with your teeth. As they lie bleeding on the ground you walk through the door. But you are no longer playing The Door Game. You are now playing the Game of Might is Right. And this game has no rules. [[Play The Game of Might is Right]]

The Game of Might is Right is a game you can play anywhere with anyone, whether they know you are playing or not. The objective of the game is to have the most Might. To initiate the game you must be prepared to do anything to win it. There are no further rules to the game. <<set $might to 0>> [[Enter the Arena->Might1]]

At your opponent's behest you awkwardly shuffle through the door, them following smugly in your wake, thus beating you at The Door Game. <<include "Lose">>

Current Might: $might You face off against a cunning opponent. You will be lucky to win, but if you do you will gain more Might. [[Fight->Outcome]]

<<set $rnd to random(0,1)>> <<if $rnd is 0>> You lost the fight and died! You have lost The Game of Might is Right due to not having the most Might! [[Restart->Start]] <<endif>> <<if $rnd is 1>> You won the fight and increased your Might! <<set $might+=1>> Current Might: $might [[Continue->Might1]] [[Quit->Start]] <<endif>>

<<set $highscore to 0>> <<nobr>> <<set $NameArray=["Longshore", "Jubert", "Rhamatallah", "Simmons", "Baldrick", "Chrisolme", "De Moller", "Eastham", "Fatholm", "Grentwick", "Hallsworth", "Oakley", "Park", "Smith", "Worthy", "Sanger", "Flabba", "Porto", "Herve", "Hamedi", "Leng", "Steer"]>><<set $NameArray.shuffle()>> <<set $HistoryArray=["I used to repair electricity pylons. Climb into the old spiked boots, strap myself to the pole, and shimmy up to work the wiring. They called me Sparks because one time the belt caught fire.", "I'm no one important. I just work to pay my bills.", "I work with animals. It's a small farm and we do everything the old fashioned way.", "I teach english in a night school. We cheat at most of the exams to boost our performance stats.", "I used to be an acrobat, but one day I fell without a net. Now I spend my time reading.", "I'm basically a fully addicted hedonist.", "I save people's lives with asynchronous beebop.", "I was both the tallest and the shorted person in the world.", "I'm just a parent, child and sibling.", "I make planes go fly.", "I used to be something.", "I used to be nothing.", "I actually don't exist.", "I'm a teacher.", "I work in a hospital.", "I live hand to mouth. I stress out about plans less that way."]>><<set $HistoryArray.shuffle()>> <<set $why0=["I literally don't. I don't know why you're asking me that. You're so weird.", "You mean the door I just came through? It's really nothing to do with you.", "What door? I don't see any door. We're in the middle of a field. In fact, where did you even come from?!", "Oh, sorry, no, I was just window shopping.", "I- oh, no- I wasn't- I'm just passing by.", "Um... I'm not going through the door. I told you already. You're going through the door, I'm going the other way.", "So many reasons. Pride. Achievement. Adventure. But I'm scared. I don't think I'm ready to go through the door.", "I don't, I swear! I was just looking through the window!", "*Whispers* Sorry I'm a performing artist, you're kind of ruining my bit here."]>> <<set $why0.shuffle()>> <<set $why1=["My partner is on the other side giving birth to our first child! I need to get in there!", "It's christmas eve and my kid wants the popular toy, they're almost sold out!", "Because alphas go first.", "Because I need to win The Door Game.", "I've been asking myself the same question. Is it a status thing, to want to go first? But if I go second just to make it not about status, isn't it still about status? But then the only other thing to do is walk away, and that just seems no fun at all. I don't know what to do!", "I have a classroom of students waiting for me on the other side of that door. I am late. Now I am more late. Thanks. Goodbye.", "What door?! Is there a door in my way?! How close is it?! How soon will I hit it?! I'm moving so fast I can't even see it!"]>> <<set $why1.shuffle()>> <<set $why2=["Well, I thought we were meeting here, old chap, to sink a pint or two, no? Are you a touch under the weather? Caught the sun? After you old chum, I'll look after you.", "Mother, it's your anniversary gala! Your guests are waiting for you just beyond this door! I will carry the train of your dress!", "Why do we do anything, really? Yes, sorry, this is going to be one of those red herring philosophical answers that really says nothing at all. But then that's all answers really, isn't it?", "How awkward. I was following you, to make sure you weren't cheating. Ha. Busted! Ha ha. Sorry.", "I just really hate it when people show off by going through the door first. I love the dumb look on their faces when I hold the door open and they rush through the door and everyone stares and then I nonchalantly saunter through after.", "See, I'm one of the trickster types who doesn't follow firm rules and just tries to expose the ridiculousness of everyone else's games. Sometimes going through the door second is the only way to do that."]>> <<set $why2.shuffle()>> <<set $colour=["pink", "green", "grey", "purple", "blue", "black", "orange", "brown", "yellow", "mauve", "turquoise", "lavender", "red", "a particularly nauseous yellow/green", "iridescent", "multicoloured", "colourless", "white", "magenta", "crustacean orange", "tartan bake", "cauliflower beige", "mauve", "see-through", "gold"]>> <<set $colour.shuffle()>> <<set $material=["wood", "polystyrene", "platinum", "gold", "silver", "iron", "steel", "glass", "brick", "paper", "wattle & daub", "straw", "plasticine", "imagination", "plastic", "flesh", "polyester", "candy floss", "incongruous thoughts", "fear", "lots of ceramic plates", "old fish bones", "new fish bones", "your ancestral DNA", "your social conditioning", "four-sided triangles (GNU Terry Pratchett)", "frozen human tears, but they are a mix of sorrow and laughter tears", "fire", "that part of the banana that is not banana but looks like part of the skin, you know the tendril things", "literary expectations", "plot armour", "ceramic oblongs", "C++", "carbon nano-tubes", "copper", "pony hair", "oak", "cedar", "pine", "bronze", "igneous rock", "papier mache"]>> <<set $material.shuffle()>> <<set $number=["0", "1", "2", "3", "4", "5", "6", "7", "8", "9", "10", "13", "15", "17", "23", "30", "54", "102", "103", "44", "77", "99", "100", "82", "42", "123", "150", "183", "101"]>> <<set $number.shuffle()>> <<set $smell=["wood", "old hats", "sandalwood", "cherries", "fresh grass", "laundry", "varnish", "diesel", "sweat", "baking bread", "bleach", "wet socks", "your future", "the past", "the present", "all time simultaneously", "metal", "neuroplasticity", "games", "that time that thing happened and now you remember it perfectly like it were yesterday", "logic and desperation", "burning", "life", "death", "salt", "air conditioner", "shampoo", "roses", "cinnamon", "pokemon", "coffee", "mint", "damp", "ambition", "spices", "frying food", "toilet", "mountain dew", "the ocean", "seaweed", "decay", "the inside of your nose", "something it ought not", "wet paint", "candy floss", "chemicals", "copper", "melted plastic", "hobbits", "kobolds", "garlic", "smoke", "overcooked beans", "lavender", "grease", "zeroes and ones", "cheese", "farmyard", "breakfast", "gas", "pine", "cabbage", "onions", "oak", "heavy industry", "minimum wage labour", "lemons", "the factory where it was constructed"]>> <<set $smell.shuffle()>> <<set $size=["large", "small", "normal size", "gigantic", "ridiculously large, bigger than the biggest space ships in the most poorly researched or futuristic scifi", "small, like, Alice in Wonderland small", "hobbit-size", "regular size", "human size", "zebra size", "two meter", "one meter", "six foot", "ten foot", "four foot", "very wide", "particularly narrow", "narrow", "wide", "spherical", "triangular", "oblong", "normal size", "quite large", "considerably sizeable", "sizeable", "humungous", "huge", "tiny", "comically misproportioned", "especially ordinary", "average size", "just larger than you", "just smaller than you", "of no discernable shape or size", "of changing size"]>> <<set $size.shuffle()>> <<set $deepdoor=["There has been a doorway here literally for millenia, although the door and frame have changed many times. Yet more people passed through it in the past 50 years than the past 5000.", "It smells as if it is a part of the locality. If this were permaculture it would be from zone 5 the partially wild zone, not the true wild zone.", "The materials for this door have been transported many hundreds of miles from their previous home, and stand out as alien here. And yet, as time has gone on, the microcosm around it has incorporated and infested it. It is part of this place, until it moves again, as all things do.", "This is an impressive door. A status door. A door meant to be noticed by someone.", "This door is a practical door. It keeps things like dust and temperature and aggressive tube beasts on one side, and you on the other.", "The door is the platonic ideal of a door. For me that means it's like a wooden english front door, but there's no real platonic ideal of a door, it's all relative, so knock yourself out with imagining your favourite door. Now since you're here imagine walking through that door and feel what embraces you on the other side. Mmm... that's nice. Nice door.", "It's not actually that deep. It's cheap, it's thin, it was probably ordered to be installed by someone who thought their survival depending on making some numbers somewhere be just the right size numbers, and therefore did not have the energy to consider whether the door would really be of much use to the people trying to use it to keep things in or out. But you know what? It may be a door that the people using it don't like, but as it turned out it wasn't a shallow door at all - it actually had quite a little story to it.", "The truth about this door is that at some stage I will get bored of writing silly door material and these responses will start looping. But the funny thing is that as things stand, as I write this, neither you nor me know when that will be.", "Bad luck. You can't have everything. Sometimes you gotta lose to enjoy winning. Like that bit in movies near the end.", "OK, so this door, the closer you draw to it the more you feel a deep connection with it. You wouldn't call it a friendship - that would only enrage the haters. But you'd certainly call it a relationship, safe in the knowledge there's really no difference between the two. Yes. You and this door are now in a relationship. You had better not walk away from it!", "This door calls to you. It has been ever so lonely. It only wants for someone to pass through it. That hasn't happened in forever. Will you be the one to satisfy this door? Only time will tell.", "Doors are a spiritual thing really, aren't they? Like, they're just a concept, but given time and space doors are also inevitable. They're a gateway. Not just that, but a gateway with an actual gate in it, a path between worlds with some barrier to entry. They hold secrets and safety and risk. Passing through a door is always inviting change, opening up to non-permanence, going with life. yeah. Doors are pretty sweet, when you really think about it. And so is this one.", "This door is like a magic spell. By performing the ancient magical ritual of slamming the door you can magically keep stuff exclusively on the other side of it.", "A door can be the boundary between the public and the private, in just the same way as words. With both I can invite you in, or keep you out.", "OK so this door is definitely like a door to a treasure chamber or something. You can tell because as you approach there's this kind of shimmering, glittering noise and visual effect around the door, as if it were some kind of slot machine. There is surely something valuable on the other side. But then, that's true of all doors, isn't it?", "Oh no! No, you don't want the deep description of this door! This door isn't meant to protect something precious. It's meant to keep something locked up. Something terrible. Best not go near this door. Best forget you ever saw it. But now it is starting to etch itself indelibly into your mind. Quickly, distract yourself! Run away! Think of nicer, ordinary, mundane doors which aren't full of unspeakable evil!", "Oh my god it's just a door - is the first thought that comes to your mind as you inspect it most closely. It's true that focussing on anything at all can reveal intricate detail and patterns which in themselves elucidate the entirety of existence; but it is plainly false that just by staring closer you can uncover said mysteries. Sometimes a door is like a whirlpool and you're like a swimming bird being drawn ever closer. And sometimes you are more like a bird flying overhead, peering down unconcerned. With this door it's more like the latter.", "The crafted lines and ornaments on this door are intricate and sturdy. It reminds you that anything in this life can be done well, or done badly."]>> <<set $deepdoor.shuffle()>> <<set $Say0Array=["'I was just leaving.'", "'Am I in your way?'", "nothing at all.", "'What was I doing again?'", "'Damnit, I forgot something.'", "'What a beautiful place this is.'", "'That was such fun.'", "'See you later.'", "'I'm in no rush.'"]>><<set $Say0Array.shuffle()>> <<set $Say1Array=["'Excuse me.'", "'You're in my way.'", "nothing at all.", "'Damnit, I forgot something.'", "'Let's get this over with.'", "'You can't beat me.'", "'I'm new to this game.'", "'See you later.'", "'I'm in a rush.'", "'I can't wait to see what's on the other side of this door.'"]>><<set $Say1Array.shuffle()>> <<set $Say2Array=["'After you.'", "'I'm in no rush.'", "nothing at all", "'What was I doing again?'", "'Are you in a rush?'", "'Lead the way'", "'Do you know where we're supposed to go?'", "'Which way are you going, friend?'", "'I'll let you win if you'd like.'"]>><<set $Say2Array.shuffle()>> <<endnobr>> <<goto "Start">>

Congratulations, by passing through the door... YOU HAVE WON THIS ROUND OF THE DOOR GAME! <<set $score to $score+1>><<if $score > $highscore>><<set $highscore to $score>><<endif>> Current Score: $score High Score: $highscore [[Continue playing The Door Game->Continue]] [[Quit->Lose]]

You walk away from the door. There are only more doors. You walk away from those too. By simply not going through any doors whatsoever... <<include "Lose">>

There is still a door before you. [[Go through the door first->1]] [[Go through the door second->2]] [[Walk away->0]] Score: $score High Score: $highscore

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE WON THE DOOR GAME! <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QXvoYGrnuv8" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> In the real world you can't beat The Door Game for good, because there are no real rules, and there is always someone who will go further to beat you. But since this is a game which we all recognise as a game, we can pretend for a while that you have beaten it. Well done you. Please enjoy this free, possibly not legal but I'm sure he wouldn't mind, PDF copy of Alan Watts' [[The Book - On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are|https://holybooks-lichtenbergpress.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/The-book-on-the-taboo-against-knowing-who-you-are-by-Alan-Watts.pdf]]. For more on how to enjoy The Door Game and all games of one-upmanship, here is another video I like: <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KI7oWww8xqA?start=2505" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> Follow me on Twitter for more microgames: https://www.twitter.com/tomjubert Follow my blog for more about me: https://blog.tomjubert.com And support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tomjubert [[Restart->Start]]

<<set $deepdoor.shuffle()>>$deepdoor[0] <<set $deepdoor.shuffle()>> [[Continue playing The Door Game->Untitled Passage]] [[Quit while you're ahead->Lose]]

You walk away from the door. As you do it cracks and dissipates. By perseverance and/or skill you have knocked up a 7 win streak in The Door Game, and then chosen to walk away. The action of a true champion. Surely this is how to win at The Door Game?! [[Transcend->Game Over]]