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The curious blue-green colour of the bracken visible from the station window is not the natural bloom of the foliage in this area at all. Upon closer inspection every surface touched by the recent rain is covered in a thin coat of metallic salt that has settled in a brittle frost-like structure; fragile enough to be broken upon contact. The afflicted growth creaks underfoot like fresh snow. I believe it to be copper, or something close. It was most likely dissolved in the rainwater somehow, which explains the sparseness of life in the area — if there is enough copper in the water that a few day’s rain can cause verdigris, it makes sense that only the hardiest things survive. I cut open a sprig of blue heather and it made a tinny (text-style:"blur")[ snapping noise when my knife broke into it. The pith was lined in copper, orange and] ]
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//(ILLEGIBLE FROM THIS POINT ONWARDS)//]
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A great light streaked across the moors today. I thought that it might be ball lightning at first, a result of a static storm kicked up by the presence of the conductive particles in the air -- or undoubtedly something else that I do not quite understand about this planet -- but as I watched it burnt down through the cloud cover like a meteor then moved in a jagged swerve across an escarpment in the distance as if it were a rock that had been skimmed into an ocean then vanished out of view. The phenomenon lasted for no more than fifteen seconds and did not repeat itself. I was left with a strange sense of apprehension and the taste of burnt metal in my mouth.]
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Spent most of today attempting to identify the effects of yesterday’s phenomenon (I say day loosely, as there are approximately 27 hours of darkness on this planet to every 2 hours of what can be considered daylight - Cherenkov's distant sunrises are comparable to the weak bluish tint of Earth's moonlight). The cloud cover overhead that had been so persistent does not appear to have recovered and has dispersed almost entirely. It rained once after the impact, and then not since. The ability to go outdoors without cracking copper from my coat upon return is tempting, but there is far too much to do inside.
Have built a series of stellargraph cameras to attempt to record any future incidents. If there is one thing that I was given a wealth of upon arrival to this world it is methods of documentation. My task is to watch and understand. I believe this is within my capacity. I have placed a camera on each end of the station roof in the hopes that they will pick up any disturbances that occur while I sleep. I will check these in twenty of this planet’s days.]
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The moor was as usual — quiet, empty, cold. The further I walk the more I fear that there may simply be nothing to find. The thought bothers me, because I am not here to find, I am here to watch. I was warned that I might be lonely and (text-style:"blur")[I came here anyway. There is nothing that this place could] (text-style:"blurrier")[give to me and](text-style:"blur")[nothing that I would be permitted to take, even if I wanted to. Today the moors are empty. Tomorrow they will be empty, too. And so it will continue](text-style:"blurrier")[ & continue & continue & continue & ]
]
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The static storms come almost once a day now. I worry that the cloud cover acted as something of an insulator and now that it is gone the situation will only worsen. The storms are at best only small things, nothing like the phenomenon on 027, but if I am caught outside in them I feel an itching electricity gathering on my skin. This can be negated by clearing away a patch of verdigris at my feet and grounding myself by making contact with the uncoppered soil. At worst, any rapid disturbance in the air causes little bursts of electricity to combust against each other; setting off chain reactions until the disturbance ceases. I have learned to walk very slowly when the weather is poor.]
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I suppose I should talk about the true problem. At this point that is all anyone will care about if they read this, not some rambling warden’s log.
The darkness happened again tonight, same as it has every other night, wider than the night prior by increments. The stars first stars went out in the south-southwest, exactly the same (text-style:"blurrier")[ inconcievable fading absence] as every other night since the phenomenon — there seems to be no accounting for planetary orbit or tilt; the constellations shift unfamiliar but the darkness remains constant — and over the space of three hours all of the stars in the sky were swallowed up.
It should not frighten me so thoroughly after seeing it so many times. (text-style:"blur")[I always know that they will return from whatever sprawling blackness conceals them, but every time I am left to wonder — what if this is it? What if this is]]
(FRAGMENT ENDS)
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Stellargraphs ruined by rain damage and subsequent copper petrification. The images have turned almost entirely to bronze inside their cases. No significant understanding gained aside from the reminder to be more careful.]
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//(ILLEGIBLE, FRAGMENT DAMAGE)//
//(…)// (text-style:"blur")[some great spectral disturbance, perhaps, or an unimaginably vast beast blocking out the light. I do not know. ] (text-style:"blurrier")[This is highly] unprofessional. I will be gone soon, back home and then on a ship to someplace new & this creeping eeriness will never touch me again. But what if I return home & the absence follows me? What if I look up at familiar skies & see that inching dark? (text-style:"blur")[This is what I think of in my most distant moments: that perhaps the thing that is unnatural is not in the stars, or in any aspect of the atmosphere or trick of the light, but in something irresistible & unstoppable,] some strange causation in me?]
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Clock read 07:47 as the sun rose. (Am beginning to believe that the watch I was supplied with is slipping out of time — perfect clockwork, they told me, a direct mirror of the tower back home, but it’s been a while since I believed that.
(text-style:"blurrier")[~~If I say that the clocks are slipping then they are slipping. I am the one waiting here. I am the one to see it happen.~~]
I walked zones 19 to 24 today. 25 is harder to reach, over a crevasse on the edge of 23, and if I am to journey any further I will have to make a base camp and set out early, as the rocks are slick with rainwater and the risk of traversing them in the dark is too great.
The rock here is veined with metal. You can trace back through time by the layering of verdigris. In other planets under my watch I have found chalky fossils and the ancient trails of crawling creatures, but on 28181 there is nothing the small pockmarks of static bursts and a deepening green.]
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By my best estimate the beacon that I see in the sky is some dark reflection of a reality that occurs below ground, mirrored in the sky. (text-style:"blur")[ If I am to find to source of the beacon, I must first] find where it fell.]
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After several trips I have constructed a substation twenty feet from the edge of the crevasse. It is furnished much more sparsely than my home station, but there is space for me to sleep below a desk and enough equipment for me to take new measurements.
~~(I am keeping up with my reports as a gesture more than anything else. I am certain now that whatever caused the phenomenon is not of this world.)~~
Repurposed ration tins as stellargraph cameras and placed them in a circle around the substation at 30 degree intervals. If all goes to plan they will give me a full picture of the heavens & this picture will become my map.]
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Today I returned to the crevasse substation. The place was much as left — the small food stock was untouched & there was a fine layer of powdery verdigris dust covering the measuring equipment that I had set up; drifted in through a hole that had begun to wear its way into the roof. (I am not the best at building stable structures & never have been).
Recovering the stellargraphs proved what I already know. I have not been hallucinating and the path of the stars stops abruptly every night. They are riddled with dark light like honeycomb. What the images tell me is promising: three of the eight surviving cameras show the darkness at an earlier stage. They point me toward the crevasse itself.
I do not have time for another set of images. I will just have to journey and I will find what I find.]
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<==>
Before my arrival here I was told that this planet was once covered in a sheet of ice. I have so far struggled to imagine a mass of cold that large, but when I reached the base of the crevasse and saw the boulders, most bigger than my station, I began to have a vague and uneasy understanding of walking into the aftermath of a time that was far beyond my reach.
The off-run of waters from those glaciers have left warrens of coppered tunnels miles long. If the beacon’s source is down here it is unlikely that I will ever find it. Knowing this fills me with a shameful sort of hope that I might be able to escape at the end of my wardenship and never be troubled by discoveries in caves. (text-style:"blur")[(Another part of me fears not knowing in equal measure - is it not as terrifying to leave, and never discover, (text-style:"blurrier")[and think about what could have been, forever?)]]]
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//(...)// The static storms do not reach inside the cave. There is a faint humming the further below ground I travel but the air is cool and humid and so not properly conducive to electricity. I have become unaccustomed to //(...)(FADED)//]
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//(ILLEGIBLE)///221
//(PRESUMABLY 130-140)//
I only return to the station now out of necessity, and I pack (text-style:"blur")[heavily enough that this is not required often. I have discovered the](text-style:"blurrier")[ source of the beacon or] something like it. Time moves slowly and brightly at a certain depth inside the cave. My headlamp blurs and my breath fogs oddly — as if it has a life of its own that does not include me. This scares me very badly.]
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The thing - by which I mean, obviously, the beacon - is terrible and lovely all at once. I orbit it with a compulsion which has long since become familiar. For so long I dreaded the way that the dark down here moves around me in its dragging ebb, but I fear that I was wrong. (Or — I don’t fear. I have been afraid in this place for so long, yet now I am here and facing it and looking at it makes me feel strangely still, centred; as if I am balanced on a very fine point and could be knocked from a height at any moment.)
It is a darkness. About this I was correct. It fluctuates in size depending on whether or not I am looking at it — if I am, it expands and swarms electric to fill my whole vision. It lends to me a different kind of seeing, a reversed blinding. Dark light is not shadow — more of a light than a dark, a force which radiates in a collapsing star of perception, of understanding the very simple nothings that hold all of the somethings together; all of the messy baryonic things like breath and light and copper and
//(FRAGMENT BROKEN)//]
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My equipment reads 223 but I date this entry as a formality only. I cannot trust the clocks or the meteorograph or the pendulums or the compasses or the stars or the pressure graphs or the transmitter or the //(ILLEGIBLE)//(text-style:"blur")[ or myself or the carbon reader or the coppergraph or the](text-style:"blurrier")[radiometer or the water purifier or ]
//(ILLEGIBLE FOR REMAINDER OF FRAGMENT; PRESUMABLY A LIST OF INVENTORY)//]
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???/221
Not being able to see the beacon makes me nervous. I am afraid that if I take my eyes away from it it will dissipate further into the caverns and down some twisting warren and I will not be able to follow. When I am far away from it I remember that there is something to be afraid of, that the sky is darkening and that this is wholly unnatural but when I am close I am (text-style:"blur")[sheltered and still and inevitability does not seem to be so bad, truly. It is like being at the epicentre of an explosion. The thing explodes, yes, but it is the matter surrounding it that has to live with the damage.] (text-style:"blurrier")[If you look between seconds there] is a moment when everything remains whole. You can move deep underground and not be touched by the storms. You can hide at the very centre of things and not be harmed, if you are very lucky. ]
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My first footsteps into the tunnels have been fossilised into a spectral outline of copper. Nothing on this planet is ever properly allowed to die.]
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(text-style:"blur")[ scraped through the light ] <p>
]
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(text-style:"blur")[Effects of copper long-term on memory are
<p>
<p>
<p>
<p>
===>
(text-rotate:12)+(t8n:"dissolve")+(transition-time:20s)[there ought to be] ]
<p>
=><=====
(text-style:"blurrier")+(t8n:"dissolve")+(transition-time:15s)[ something else]
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]
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(text-style:"blur")+(text-rotate:-10)[ reaches]
==>
(t8n:"dissolve")+(transition-time:17s)+(text-rotate:180)+(text-style:"blurrier")[ clustered like]
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(t8n:"dissolve")+(transition-time:17s)+(text-style: "blurrier")[ seen](text-style:"blur")[ enough.] I have not felt well in a long time.]
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(text-style:"blurrier")[I have been thinking.](text-style:"blur")[ I have ]been talking into the cold wet air with a voice that I no longer recognise. It is not a part of me but something from Before that has crystallised dreadful in my absence. ~~I hate the sound of it.~~
There was a small rockslide in the main cavern yesterday; the one where the Beacon hides. I write small in terms of this planet but by no means in terms of myself. I was swallowed whole, and almost failed to see it coming.
I will not write of what I saw between being buried and unearthed. That is mine and mine alone.
Hours after the fall I crawled my way out from under the amber loam and breathed in the staleness of the cavern and all at once I looked at the darkness and was fully terrified again. Perhaps it was the impact or the shock of the suffocating closeness to my own end but now I cannot bear to witness it. The main problem in myself is that I want to, and know that things would be far easier were I to just allow myself to be reburied. I am almost as scared by the knowing that I have lost so much of myself down here already, that I have (text-style:"blur")[certainly missed my opportunity to leave this world, that the stars must be wholly gone by now and that I am alone and far from the sun and ]
//(TORN)//
It would be simpler. It would not be just me. It would not even be my fault.
But there is some part of myself that still recoils at the notion of petrification, and this is the part that leads me back to the surface.]
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I have realised now that the Beacon is going to be there whether I act against it or not. Some forces cannot be stopped. I knew this before I came to this place as a fact of abstract truth; like dark matter or atrophy, but I had never had to face the reality of it. And so if the darkness cannot be stopped: what can I do in the face of it? I have begun to think of 28181 as home out of more than technical geography — in loneliness, this place is all that I have.
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(text-style:"blur")[Countless stars, countless suns. Countless other worlds and wardens. Part of me wants to say that I am the only victim of this dark light. Part of me wishes that my suffering were unique, so that one day, maybe, I can sit around a table with others and say] //LOOK. LISTEN. THIS HAPPENED TO ME.// And they will listen, and understand something about myself so singular that I am finally and truly seen and all of this will have been for something.
But this is a shallow dream. Perhaps a week ago, or a month ago, when I was still lost in the beacon, I might have believed that I could be so alone but the scale of the universe means that nothing is truly singular. The scale of the universe says that there will always be someone to hear you, if you care enough to find your way to them.]
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The thing in the cave exists and I exist simultaneously. Some irreconcilable aspect of me is decaying the longer that I stay here. I cannot fight the dark light in any meaningful way, and so my final plan is neither brave nor clever.
My station has become a source of safety, clinical and temporary as it is, and I will be sorry to leave it. When I am finished writing this last fragment of my message I will bury it alongside the rest of my records - all that could be contaminated with the light of this place - under the coordinates I was left at all those months ago. I have repurposed my station’s power source as a source of ignition and plan to utilise the conductive aspect of the verdigris on the heather to light a spark from afar and send the entire thing up in a burst of electricity as the reflection of the beacon reaches its darkest point. The true light will reflect back at the dark light, and if I am lucky I will be far away from this place before I learn of any outcome.
If anyone is to find this, in some distant or nearer future, will I be leading them into the same trap that I myself fell into? I hope not. My days under the beacon’s light were long and weary and I would not wish them upon another soul. My warnings are the only help I can leave. Perhaps whoever comes after me — and I am certain that there will be another, some day, some time — will be wiser. Perhaps they will be brave where I was afraid, or their resources will be greater, or they will be less alone. Perhaps they won’t need my records or they will never discover them and be safe regardless.
The trick of the beacon is that is that it makes you forget that you and the dark light are separate entities. The only way to recover yourself in the face of the beacon is to turn away from it, (text-style:"blur")[and try and leave the way lit as you go. ](text-style:"blurrier")[ This is all that I know, and ]
//(FRAGMENT BROKEN)//]
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MESSAGE ———14
TO: ██████████
FROM: ███████,████████,████,██████████,██████
//REPORT INTO THE INVESTIGATION OF WARDEN ——— , IN REFERENCE TO EVIDENCE PRESENTED PRIOR//
The attached transcripts are as much as we have been able to make out from the Warden’s reports. We do not know whether they achieved what they set out to do, or whether they succumbed to the delirium that seems to have overtaken them during the course of their mission. The Warden’s journals, drawings and maps were found buried in a locked storage container. As promised, it was located at what we can approximate from archival data is their original drop site. Over time the planet’s verdigris rain appears to have seeped into the container, causing the journals to partially petrify.
We, as the recovery team for this mission, have been able to piece together a fragmented understanding of the Warden’s time on 28181. We have located the ruin of their home station, and although it has been a considerable number of years since the Warden’s last message we have no reason to believe that the Warden’s remains are among them. Likewise, a search of the area has turned up no certain evidence.
In our time, the thought of a Warden is a thing of the past. The old 221-day wardenships are as baffling in timespan as they are in reason - how is anyone meant to meaningfully experience a world in barely half a year? Sitting and waiting for the universe to turn without us is unthinkable. To us, the most sure way to fail in the face of the incomprehensible is to never attempt to understand. We believe that the Warden realised this, in their last known days; although this is just speculation.
While we were still planetside, we followed the Warden’s maps to the crevasse into what they referred to as sections 25 and 26. With a small amount of searching we were able to identify the points in the rock that they had used to rappel to the crevasse’s base. All of us felt a looming apprehension as we stared down into the depths, although we were unsure if the sensation was due to a genuine quality of the place or a shade of knowing the Warden’s story. We debated amongst ourselves the virtue of seeing for ourselves what they discovered down in the dark. It took binding our torches together and sending them down on the end of a rope to realise that the choice had already been made for us: in the time it had taken anyone to come looking for the Warden, the floor of the crevasse had filled with a great layering of verdigris. The drop was no deeper than sixty feet; a far distance from the Warden’s estimate of two hundred to two hundred and thirty. If the paths that the Warden took remain or ever existed then they are far out of our reach.
Back at the ship we checked the weather records from the past century. Shortly after the Warden’s last message, the planet suffered what we can only describe as a minor ice age. This may be coincidence — this planet was carved by ice, as the Warden told us in their writing — but it still disturbs us to think (text-style:"blur")[of what event could cause such a drastic shift in temperature. It is troubling to put the thought to record, but a sudden darkening of the sky could have, in theory ████████████████████████████████████████]
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(text-style:"fade-in-out")+(t8n:"dissolve")+(transition-time:40s)[//[[CONCLUSION]]//]]
MESSAGE ———01
TO:██████████
FROM: ███████,████████,████,██████████,██████
28181 is a dark-sky planet in the outer reaches of the Cherenkov system. It was discovered approximately 300 years ago and probe analysis could confirm only that it had a stable geological makeup and was seemingly devoid of non-botanical lifeforms.
28181 saw a single Warden in its time in our records, and then it seems to have been entirely forgotten. We searched for the Warden’s reports to understand why and found that the reports did not exist. Upon investigation, we discovered that there was no record of the Warden having been collected at the end of their stationing — in fact, there are no records of any ships sent to Cherenkov since the Warden’s installation on the planet.
It has been the better part of a century since the Warden was sent to 28181. We are concerned at this lapse in documentation that is so antithetical to our work, and feel that it is only right to journey after to see where their wardenship led.
(text-style: "fade-in-out")+(t8n:"dissolve")+(transition-time:25s)[[[INCOMING TRANSMISSION->MESSAGE 02]]]
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[[Taphonomy->incoming transmission]] is the study of how organisms decay and become fossilised. ]
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**INCOMING FILES: 28181RECOVERYTRANSCRIPT.data**]
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[FILES RECEIVED SUCCESSFULLY]
<=
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[[027]] [[028]] [[035]] ]
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<p>
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(if: visits is >3)[(t8n:"dissolve")+(transition-time:7s)[ [[062]] [[094]] [[096]] ]]
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<===
<p>(if: visits is >4)+(t8n:"dissolve")+(transition-time:7s)[[[126]] [[128]] [[131]] ]
===><=
(if: visits is >5)+(t8n:"dissolve")+(transition-time:10s)[[[???->221]] [[217]] [[223]]
[[???->centre of things]] ]
<p>
(if: visits is >6)+(t8n:"dissolve")+(transition-time:7s)[[[243]]]
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(if: visits is >8)[
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[[???->memory]]]
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(if: visits is >10)+(t8n:"dissolve")+(transition-time:7s)[ [[294]] ]
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[[479]] [[483]]
[[485]] [[492]] ]
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<===
unphotographable, as if known by]
========><=
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bursts of clarity that I have come to dread ]
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nearly, nearly, nearly, nearly, nearly,
]
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[[all fragments->map]]]MESSAGE ———08
TO:██████████
FROM: ███████,████████,████,██████████,██████
Have recovered the Warden’s reports. Will begin to transcribe and send on.
Apologies for shortness. We have a lot to read.
(text-style: "fade-in-out")+(t8n:"dissolve")+(transition-time:20s) [[[INCOMING TRANSMISSION->map]]]=><=
//CONCLUSION//
<==>
We believe that whatever phenomena it was that the Warden detailed within their reports, they were weakened in part by continued exposure to the copper that permeates the planet. True to their task, we can trace their actions up until the point when they stopped recording. After this final message the Warden’s whereabouts are unknown.
There is still no clear reason on our end as to why 28181’s Warden was abandoned.
We have discussed what to do next amongst ourselves, and come to the conclusion that we will remain in orbit for some months more. We feel that it is only right to watch, in the same way that they watched, if only in memory. If we make it to the end of our wardenship and find nothing, then at least we will have proof that the Warden’s last hope of solidarity and preservation for we who came after did not go unheard.
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Liv(ia) Gravil
Degree show work, Falmouth University 2020
cheers all x]Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.