ROADTRIP!!!

[[Wake up, kiddo.|PACKING THE CAR]]

<img src="images/1.1.png"/> [[You don’t want to be here.|TOO EARLY]] [[Ask where you’re going.|THANKS, BABA]]

<img src="images/1.3.png"/> The sun is still low in the sky, so it isn’t too hot yet. There’s a faint breeze that ever so slightly catches in your hair. You roll down the window. [[You try to read Barry Chotter for a bit.|BARRY CHOTTER]]

<img src="images/2.1.png"/> The scenery outside changes to that of a forest. There might be witches there, you want to stay on the safe side. [[You can hold it.|HOLD IT]] [[You need to go to the bathroom.|AU NATURALE]]

<img src="images/2.3.png"/> Somehow, half an hour passes. Looking at the outside pass by is getting a bit boring. Time to pull out the DS Lite, except you only have one game and it’s that dumb Woshi Wonstahz game. Thanks, Baba. That’s a baby’s game. You’re not a baby, you’re nine and three quarters now. Maybe for your birthday they’ll get you one of those new jPads, like Noelle. You’re a little jealous but you don’t want to show it, that’d be rude and you overheard Mama and Baba talking about it last week. Might as well wait. [[Play Woshi Wonstahz: New Horizons.|WOSHI WONSTAHZ]] [["Are we there yet?"|MAMA SIGHS II]]

<img src="images/2.5.png"/> Someone’s stomach growls. Your head snaps up from its stupor, and you realize that... [[it was Mama.|HUNGRY MAMA]] [[it was you, all along, fool.|HUNGRY... YOU!]]

<img src="images/1.8.png"/> Mama and Baba have been silent for a while. You think Baba might have fallen asleep. You remedy this. [["Remember back in spring break when you let me stay over at Leo and Isabel’s house, well, they showed me this really cool movie and like its really awesome because it's about a bunch of farm animals who are like trying to not be farm animals but like as they try to be humans who in this universe look like, umm, how do I describe it like a bunch of wet chickens mixed in with slime and goopy stuff from the dumb Woshi Wonstahz game, like the main introduction man who shows you around the town yeah like him, and well ok, I should get into the characters, there's Barn who is the main cow and he's like really and nice and awesome and the leader of the whole group, then theres Yardsiey who is Barns best friend (he’s a pig by the way) and like he’s the really goofy and also kind one, but like he also gets the group into trouble because he's too goofy y'know, oh and finally my favourite character... wait for it... BOOM ITS BETTSY!!! SHE'S THE SUPER SMART ONE AND KNOWS LIKE EVERYTHING THERE IS ABOUT THE HUMANS AND THE FARM, AND LIKE EXPLAINS THINGS REALLY WELL, and oh yeah it ends with BETTSY AND BARN K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!! AND LIKE OH MY GOD IT'S SO CUTE!!! AND LIKE IT'S AT A REALLY BIG MOMENT TOO and in my excitement I have forgotten to tell the story, okay, okay, back on track back, to telling it. So ok, the Barnyees as the group calls themselves, are trying to pass as humans because that way they can get into the super special like club, oh what was the name of it, it was something that was like Chuckbonalds™®© but like different, and okay, so like they're trying to get in and like the do this really funny thing where they go ontop of each other and disguise themselves using a trench coat and its GREAT AND THEN LIKE AFTER THAT BETTSY LIKE EXPLAINS HOW THEYRE GOING TO GET IN AND WHEN THEY DO GET IN AFTER A BIT OF ALMOST GETTING CAUGHT AND ITS SOO INTENSE!!! IT TURNS OUT THAT WOAH ALL THE GOOPY PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY ALIENS AND THEN THEY KIDNAP THE BARNYEES INTO SPACE AND THEN LIKE ITS JUST KYABOWM BOOSH THWABANG!!! AND THEN LIKE WHEN THEYRE GETTING ON THE ESCAPE POD TO GO BACK TO THE FIELDS BARN GETS SHOT AND ALMOST CANT MAKE IT BUT THEN BOOM BETTSY KISSES HIM AND OH MY GOD HE MAKES IT I WAS SO SCARED WATCHING IT!!! AND ITS SO COOL MAMA!!!"|WAIT...]] [["Are we there yet?"|MAMA SIGHS III]]

<img src="images/3.5.2.png"/> Mama pulls into a gas station to refuel. You remember an incident where you got stranded on the way to school once, but it wasn’t all that bad, you got ice cream by the end. Ice cream is always worth it. Baba trudges out as well, someone’s gotta pay for the fuel and it's definitely not Mama. They tap on your window, and you roll it down. “Yes, Baba?” “Wanna come with? There might be some snacks inside and Mama might take a while to stretch her legs.” [[You wanna stay.|STAY INSIDE]] [[Might as well walk around a little.|GET OUT]]

<img src="images/4.3.png"/> You’re well and properly bored at this point. Mama’s starting to tune out your explanation of Barnfield. Baba’s still asleep, so no games. Not yet at least. Time for a new approach. [["Are we there yet?"|MAMA SIGHS IV]]

<img src="images/4.4.png"/> Baba yawns loudly and stretches in their seat. They turn to you and ask you to grab a CD from the little stack next to you. P3NK, kesha., Brittany Javelins, none of these sound appealing. Baba tells you to hurry up. Mama calls for her music, whatever that means. Which one should you pick? [[Deetle’s Greatest Hits|BABA'S MUSIC]] [[Baab’s Greatest Hits|MAMA'S MUSIC]]

[["Are we there yet?"|MAMA SIGHS V]]

<img src="images/1.2.png"/> It’s too early for this. [[Where are we even going?|THANKS, BABA]]

Baba's clearly trying to hide something. “Look we’re just spending quality time together as a family for a few days dont worry we’ll be back home before you know it!” Thanks, Baba, that doesn't tell me anything. [[This’ll be fun! Probably. Hopefully.|GET YOUR THINGS]]

<img src="images/0.1.png"/> You smile as enthusiastically as you can muster. It’ll be fine! You need to bring two things, and you make a dash to your room. Mama’s calling but you really need to grab something to keep you entertained. You'll take... [[Your Silly Bandz collection (it's important) and your 2S Lite|TALLY HO SILLY BANDZ STYLE]] [[Your homework (it's the last day of summer and you’re not done yet) and your 2S Lite|TALLY HO HOMEWORK FLAVOR]] [[Your favourite movie (Barnfield, a masterpiece), the boring book that you don’t want to read (Barry Chotter), and your 2S Lite|TALLY HO MAMA STOP CRIMPING MY STYLE]]

You head out of the house, and [[onto the starship SUV.|DRIVING I.ii]]

You head out of the house, and [[onto the starship SUV.|DRIVING I.iii]]

“You realise that’s three things right?” Mama asks. You look at her. Well… [[You head onto the starship SUV.|DRIVING I.i]]

You can hold it. You definitely can. You’re nearly ten. ... [[You need to go to the bathroom.|AU NATURALE]]

<img src="images/2.2.png"/> You didn't realise you needed to go to the bathroom. Mama pulls over. [[...|OKAY]]

... [[Okay.|DRIVING II]]

<img src="images/2.4.png"/> It’s bad. It’s worse than you thought. You thought maybe that you could squeeze a couple minutes of enjoyment from this but you were wrong. All of the good games have to be unlocked, and you absolutely refuse to put any work into this. [["Are we there yet?"|MAMA SIGHS II]]

<img src="images/3.2.png"/> Mama sighs. “No.” [[Wait a while.|DRIVE THRU]]

<img src="images/3.0.1.png"/> She must be tired from driving, and you pipe up to remind your dear parents that you’re hungry for her sake. Baba’s gaze flicks towards you and they smile knowingly. “Mama, we should take a break. [[Get the kid some food.|HUNGRY... YOU!]]”

<img src="images/3.0.2.png"/> “Alright, alright. Let's get something to eat." Mama starts to poke her head outside, looking for a drive thru spot. “I packed some dumplings!” Baba reminds her. Your parents are having the annual Drive Thru Argument. All is fair in love and war, and it’s always good natured, but boy, do you want to stop hearing about it. You wistfully turn towards passing signs. You are face to face, with the Chuckbonalds™®© sign. Maybe you are hungry. [[CHUCKBONALDS CHUCKBONALDS CHUCKBONALDS|CHUCKBONALDS]] [[You’re good with Baba's food, thanks.|FUSION FOOD!]]

<img src="images/3.1.png"/> “At least someone appreciates my preparations!” Baba protests. “I love your fusion food dear, but Mama needs fuel.” You excitedly perk up at the thought of some Barnfield toys, wondering if you want Barn, Yardsiey or Bettsy this time. [[Speaking of which...|DRIVING III]]

<img src="images/3.0.png"/> You can’t see it from the back, but you know that Mama’s triumphantly grinning. You excitedly perk up at the thought of some Barnfield toys, wondering if you want Barn, Yardsiey or Bettsy this time. [[Speaking of which...|DRIVING III]]

<img src="images/3.3.png"/> "WAIT MAMA, DO WE HAVE A DVD PLAYER??? BECAUSE I HAVE THE DVD WITH ME WE CAN WATCH IT TOGETHER!!!" Mama looks up at the rearview mirror, straight at you. “What, no. Where did you even get that?" You think for a moment. [[Where did you get this?|HUH!]]

<img src="images/3.4.png"/> You're not sure where you got it. You left Leo and Isabels one day and suddenly it was in your bag. They still have a copy so it's not theirs. “I dunno...” Mama looks at Baba for help, but they're still sleeping. [["Are we there yet?"|MAMA SIGHS III]]

<img src="images/3.2.png"/> Mama sighs. “No.” [[Wait some more.|GAS STOP]]

<img src="images/3.6.png"/> You shake your head and point to the DS Lite, which ran out of battery a while ago but they don’t need to know that. “I’m okay!” Baba brightens up. “You’re playing that, uh, Wishy Washaz game! I’m glad you like it.” You nervously grin in agreement. “I’ll go grab you something, seeya in a bit.” Baba's probably going to get you water but it's fine. [[They're trying!|DRIVING IV]]

<img src="images/3.5.1.png"/> You roll up the window and hop out of the car, running past Baba for some well earned rest. Your legs feel great with the exercise. You trot inside the gas station general store, instantly blasted by the cold air of the fan. "Anything strike your fancy?" Baba asks. You have a lot of options... [[Chocolate!|CHOCOLATE]] [[Chips!|CHIPS]] [[Beer!|BEER]]

<img src="images/3.7.png"/> You pass it to Baba. “A fine choice. Chocolate’s good for you, I think. Not entirely sure.” You look at them with pleading eyes. Baba considers it for a moment. "Yeah, alright." [[Woo!|DRIVING IV]]

<img src="images/4.1.png"/> You grab a bag of chips. The bag is so full of air, it’s probably only 40% chips. You feel confident now that you know how percentages work. You pass it to Baba. “A fine choice. Although, I'm not entirely sure how much actual potato there is in this.” [[You shrug.|DRIVING IV]]

<img src="images/4.2.png"/> You’re nine and a half (you think) and you’re practically an adult now. You hold up a can of beer. Baba swiftly snatches it from your hands, as you futilely grab at air. “Yeah, no.” [[Darn it.|DRIVING IV]]

<img src="images/3.2.png"/> Mama sighs. “No.” [[Guess you'll wait.|MUSIC TIME]]

You pass the Baab’s CD. Mama whoops loudly and as soon as the first glittery notes of late 70s pop filter into the car, Baba groans. Mama starts singing passionately and you find yourself drawn in, you know the lyrics well. Baba has buried themselves deeper into their seat, arms crossed. A couple more tracks pass and you notice that Baba has been swaying ever so gently along with the music. Halfway through the album all three of you are dancing in your seats and scream-singing. [[It’s a good time.|GAME TIME]]

You pass the Deetle’s CD. Baba does a little fist pump as Mama turns around when you hit a red light. She gasps dramatically. “You would betray me like this?” You shrug. Baba is perfectly reciting all of the lyrics, but Mama's quiet. You hum along quietly, you don't know what they're saying but the melody is stuck in your head. It's peaceful and calming, and Mama's stillness doesn't last for long, her fingers start tapping at the wheel and then she starts harmonizing with Baba. Together, they sound like what you think angels would. [[It’s a good time.|GAME TIME]]

Mama sighs. “No.” [[UGH.|GAME TIME]]

<img src="images/4.5.png"/> “Baba, Baba, Baba, can we play a game?” Baba turns around, a little reluctantly, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes. “Wuh?” [[PLEASE.|BUT WHAT GAMES?]]

Baba sighs, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes. “Okay, kiddo, what games did you have in mind?” Hmm... You can only think of two now that you think about it. [[I Spy!|I SPY]] [[Scissor, Paper, Rocks|GO!]]

<img src="images/0.3.png"/> I spy something... [[blue!|BLUE]] [[white!|WHITE]] [[green!|GREEN]] [[You're bored now.|DRIVING VI]]

<img src="images/4.6.png"/> Somehow Baba hasn’t noticed that the only hand they put down is rock, so it’s really easy to beat them… They haven’t noticed for 2 years. Mama chimes in after the 11th consecutive loss, “You have a truck, motorcycle and a pilot's license yet you can’t beat our child at rock paper scissors. We raised them well.” “What's your point?” Baba replies, “it's not like you can beat them either!” You think smugly about how they only put out rock and scissors, respectively. You might have used this to your advantage in getting the last of Mama’s cookies multiple times. [[You're bored now.|DRIVING VI]]

<img src="images/0.3.png"/> “The sky?” Baba guesses. Dangit Baba keeps getting it right, you need to choose some [[harder colours.|I SPY]]

<img src="images/0.3.png"/> “The clouds?” Baba correctly guesses. You sigh. Maybe you should’ve chosen something you could’ve beat Baba in. like rock paper scissors. They’re so bad at Rock paper scissors. Maybe they’re just faking being bad at rock paper scissors? How can someone be so good at one game but so bad at another? [[Try again.|I SPY]]

<img src="images/0.3.png"/> “The grass?” Baba correctly guessed. Again. You sigh. You’ll never beat Baba at this. How do they keep guessing your spying stuff right? Maybe it’s an adult thing. Baba’s a cool adult, they know so many things. When you’re an adult you hope you can know as many things as Baba knows. [[One more...|I SPY]]

"Are we there yet?" Mama sighs. “No.” You’re pretty sure you’ve been over this several times now but maybe it’s time to stop asking. The sun is low in the horizon and you find your eyes drifting over the cars speeding past. Your mind wanders... [[MOOSE.|MOOSE I]] [[Ascend.|ASCEND I]] [[Hand.|HAND I]]

<img src="images/moose 1.png"/> You look towards the sprawling forest passing by. You think back to the witch in Gansel and Hretel. [[What if the witch wasn’t a witch?|MOOSE II]]

<img src="images/ascend 1.png"/> Your gaze unfocuses. A whole new feeling grips your body as you feel yourself flying above the car, going further up, and suddenly you can see the clusters of light that you think are supposed to be cities. A brilliant flash of light spreads out from behind you and it feels great! You’re 50% sure that you have wings now. That’s really cool! [[You do a double flip in the air.|ASCEND II]]

<img src="images/hand 1.png"/> You stare out the window, watching the trees pass by in a blur. The landscape makes a pretty sweet path, you think, and you stretch your arm to run your fingers along the top of the treeline. You do this for a while, arm stretched up to the window. Your two fingers fly over the passing fields, hopping over fences, carefully nudging farm animals aside. It’s entertaining for a while - then your arm gets tired. You sit back, deciding to just stare out the window instead. But your eyes still follow the treeline, and you think you see [[something there…|HAND II]]

<img src="images/ending 1.png"/> You are startled awake. Baba is shaking you gently and is unfastening your seatbelt. You protest, complaining that you’re a big kid now, you can do it yourself. “Wake up, kid, we’re here.” Mama is stretching for the first time in hours. She looks relieved to be off driving duty but something is different about her expression. As you pull up to an unfamiliar harbor, the sun has set in the distance. It’s probably 8 PM. The sky is a brilliant clash of purples and oranges as the night exchanges batons with the day. You spot a couple stars in the sky, probably more than you ever have while you were in the city. The beach is quiet, there is no one around but you three. You don’t yet quite understand the importance of this place, but you can feel a weight in the air. You feel present. [[You follow your parents up to the top of the cliff.|CLIFF TOP]]

<img src="images/ending 2.png"/> Everything is peaceful. You follow your parents with uncharacteristic silence. They lead you to a little house, secluded at the top of the cliff, overlooking the sea. You look out into the distance, seeing how far away your home is. There is a house at the top. It’s light blue, with white accents. It’s a lot smaller than what you’re used to but something about it makes you feel at ease. Little vines curl around the entrance, from bushes of flowers. You don’t know that much about windows but you think it’s very pretty and smashable. Oops, maybe you shouldn't think of that. Mama waits for you to walk over to her. [[You follow them towards the front entrance.|HOUSE]]

<img src="images/ending 0.2.png"/> “This is where we used to live before we had you.” Mama explains as you all shuffle inside. Baba turns the light switch on and the light flickers for a moment, and before you stands a cozy looking living “Happy ninth birthday.” Baba ruffles your hair and you protest, saying that you're totally ten years old now, but it’s out of habit more than anything. So much for pretending. “We’ll be here for three days, and I know that it’s the last day of summer, but it’s also your birthday. I think we can delay going back to school for a bit.” Mama smiles warmly at you. Baba walks over to the small TV and pats it. “We set up a little DVD player for you, so you can watch Barnfield.” They stand expectantly before you. [[Ask if you can watch Barnfield.|FORREAL]] [[Hug your parents.|HUG!!!]]

<img src="images/ending 0.2.png"/> Baba bursts out laughing, and Mama can’t seem to fight the smile on her face. You smile innocently back at them. [[Hug your parents.|HUG!!!]]

<img src="images/ending 0.1.png"/> They hug you tightly and you all stand in a comfortable embrace for a moment. It’s nice. Road trip, worth it. <div id="end"> END <div> [[Start over.|TITLE SCREEN]]

<img src="images/1.3.png"/> The sun is still low in the sky, so it isn’t too hot yet. There’s a faint breeze that ever so slightly catches in your hair. You roll down the window. [[All of your silly bandz are on your arm.|GANSEL AND HRETEL]]

<img src="images/1.7.png"/> It’s boring. You don't like it. Everyone else is wrong about the book... you were right all along. [[You chuck it out the window.|BATHROOM BREAK]]

<img src="images/1.5.png"/> You don’t want to do it. It’s not like anyone will check. You wait a bit until Mama and Baba are distracted. [[Then you chuck all of it out the window.|BATHROOM BREAK]]

<img src="images/1.4.png"/> You pass by a forest. It reminds you of Gansel and Hretel, you leave a trail of Silly Bandz for future you to follow lest there be a witch that eats you. [[You watch them fly away in the wind.|BATHROOM BREAK II]]

<img src="images/2.1.png"/> The scenery outside changes to that of a forest. There might be witches there, you want to stay on the safe side. The trail of loombands has long since ended. [[You can hold it.|HOLD IT]] [[You need to go to the bathroom.|AU NATURALE]]

<img src="images/hand 2.png"/> You squint suspiciously at the trees, trying to make out the thing moving in the trees. You think it has two legs, but you can’t make out too much- then it bursts out of the trees, and you’re transfixed. Its legs look a little like your fingers, and its body looks a little like the rest of your hand, and you think you might’ve conjured this thing up yourself. You want to yell, tell Mama and Baba that you created a thing (!!!!) but first, you want to see what this thing does. As you stare, the thing carries on running, easily keeping pace with the car. It jumps over fences, nudges animals out of the way just like your fingers did. But unlike your fingers, it gets closer and closer to the car, jumping fields easily. You try and push it away with your own hand… But it leaps over the other side of the road, its landing rattling the car. Running still, it bends over, and you think it’s looking right into the car- right at you. You’re stuck between trying to [[scare it away|HAND III.i]] somehow, and [[waving|HAND III.ii]] at it.

<img src="images/hand 3.png"/> As it stares at you (you think), you stare right back. Baba always said you were really good at staring contests, so you put on your best scary face and glare right at where you think its eyes are. For five whole minutes! Just as you think you’ve beaten the world record for staring, the thing jumps up. Leaping over the road again, it looks back for just a second before running away, back into the trees. Your eyelids feel heavy. [[Fall asleep.|WAKE UP II]]

<img src="images/hand 4.png"/> The thing keeps looking at you, so you do what you usually do at school and try wave at it. This normally helps you make friends, and maybe being friends with it will make this car journey more interesting? As you wave, the thing seems to wiggle, doing its best to copy you. Then it jumps the other side of the road and runs back towards the trees, wiggling once more before disappearing. You grin, waving and wiggling til you can’t see it anymore. Your eyelids feel heavy. [[Fall asleep.|WAKE UP II]]

<img src="images/ascend 2.png"/> The wind whooshes in your ear. Your breath is taken away as you feel more and more power rushes into your body. You let out an enthusiastic laugh. It’s so freeing. You've ascended. [[Change the shape of reality.|ASCEND III]]

<img src="images/ascend 3.png"/> The fifth dimension welcomes you as reality bends to your will. The laws of the universe are now at the mercy of your changes. Your eyes are shining bright. What do you do with your newfound power? [[Create new polyhedra.|ASCEND IV]]

<img src="images/ascend 4.png"/> You don’t know what that means but you feel it. The rules of mathematics change and overlap. New shapes form out from your fingertips and physics is born anew. Time to use this power for whatever you want! [[Hold the world at your fingertips!|WAKE UP II]]

<img src="images/moose 2.png"/> What if "the witch" was just like a title... of a forest god! What if Gansel and Hretel were intruders in the forest and what if the big candy house was like the spirit of nature, because nature can’t really help itself. And then these two intruders eat nature and then boom the forest god is angry! Which is why it’s called the witch because they’re an angry magical powerful thingy. <img src="images/moose 3.png"/> [[Wait what would an angry forest god even look like?|MOOSE III]]

You think back to an animal picture book they showed you in school last year. <img src="images/moose 4.png"/> A giraffe... no that’d be the safari god, or just like a desert god. <img src="images/moose 5.png"/> No! The desert god would be a kangaroo because they’re cool. <img src="images/moose 6.png"/> What would the ocean god look like? Probably a whale, or a dolphin what if they fight for the title of god in the sea... <img src="images/moose 7.png"/> No, I don’t want them to fight... what if it changes depending on the season so they can both be gods? Yeah! That's better! Sharing is caring after all. That's what Mama and Baba told you since you were a baby. [[You’re deeper in the forest now.|MOOSE IV]]

You search around in your mind for some forest-y animals. You think of a deer. <img src="images/moose 8.png"/> They're too timid to be angry, they're too nice to be this forest's god, maybe some other forest. <img src="images/moose 9.png"/> A squirrel? No, they're too small to be gods. They're not cool enough. <img src="images/moose 10.png"/> Raccoons are cool, but they’re not big enough because gods need to be as big as the habitat or place they’re living in and this forest is huge. <img src="images/moose 11.png"/> Like so big! Maybe a bear? But I can’t see any caves for them to live in... so no bear god here at least. [[What about a moose?|MOOSE V]]

You try to imagine a moose. ... <img src="images/moose 12.png"/> That’s the bestest moose you’ve ever seen. (You haven’t actually seen one, but it looks accurate to the picture you remember.) <img src="images/moose 13.png"/> [[What a good forest moose god.|WAKE UP II]]