Google Calendar
Essay due at 8:30 AM. 7500 words.

Pokemon GO
Oh? An egg is about to hatch!

Billy Chat CPP
Hi, ${firstName}! Just wanted to remind you that general registration for the next semester will...

English Major Friend
Hey, I gotta head off to bed, but good luck! You've got this!

Quora
The eiffel tower grows in the summer.

Instagram
rachel.grr has started following you.

Instagram
rachel.grr liked your post.

Quora
Fish skins can be used to heal burns.

Gmail
Exercise Equipment: Deals of the Day

Instagram
rosalva liked your photo.

Instagram
lazy_ryan liked your photo.

App Store
The game you pre-registered for is available now!

Gmail
Hollister: Your coupon is about to expire.

Quora
Sniffing a green apple can also prevent headaches and migraines.

Facebook
You have 5 new friend request.

Google News
Mosquitoes are attracted to dark colors.

Youtube
RatIRL just uploaded a new video. You have to watch it right now immediately.

Google News
Coconut Water is an anti-aging tonic.

Facebook
You have 2 unread messages and 5 new friend requests.

Google News
5 Tips For Healthier Plants AND Healthier Pants

Farmville
Your crops are ready to be collected!

2048
Take a quick break and play!

Google News
Warning: Heat waves are coming in this week!

Twitch
2GGaming: Smash Bros. Tonight!

Wildfire
100% authentic roaring-twenties Zoom party. Bring your own everything.

Instagram
frog just liked your photo.

Discord - D1ana091
hey bud wanna carry me in Valorant? I'm almost Silver.

Quora
What would it take to make a real Zombie?

Google News
A look into our collective future, and how our forebears got it so wrong.

Postmates
Order now and get 25% off!

Indiegogo
This swarm of robot bees will replace real bees in every single way except they won't pollinate plants or produce honey.

Parody News
We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried.

Broken Bot
H

Quora
Does all blood taste the same? Like, does a human’s blood taste the same as a cat’s blood?

Worms
Ah, water is cold and refreshing. I like damp dirt. :)

Duolingo
These reminders don't seem to be working. We'll stop sending them for now.

Duolingo
:(

The Game
Lost it, you have.

Google News
The world is ending! But can we call it the apocalypse? Disgraced pop-linguist and vocal prescriptivist speaks out.

Cat Game
Cat 1 says ":3"

Cat Game
Cat 2 says ":3"

Cat Game
Cat 3 says ":3"

Google News
Kids These Days: How this ingenious marketing team created the greatest viral meme that no one's ever heard of.

Your Bed
Hey, aren't you tired?

Youtube
Everything you need to know about C++ in one video! Duration: 14392:42:11.

Twitter
A friend commented "litty"

Instagram
selenagomez is live right now!

Broken Bot
E

Google News
Apple moving towards a touchless phone model.

Google News
The value of Tethics in the modern world. When should we just let industry grow?

New Pork Times
Untapped infinite hog supply in the ocean.

Google News
All cookies have vanished nationwide. Authorities investigating.

Google News
Light At The End Of The Tunnel: How this new startup is trying to illunimate some of America's darkest roadways.

Google News
Smokey the Bear is retiring. Claims he has done all he can to stop wildfires. "I have faith we can all be responsible," he says, wiping a tear away from his eye.

Gmail
Epic Games: Check out this week's deals.

Accuweather
Warning: Excessive Heat Warning in effect.

Accuweather
Apologies. A glitch caused the last message to send multiple times. We currently have no intention to fix it.

Local Plant Nursery
Need plants? We've got them!

GameStop
Clearance Sale! Get it while you can at the lowest of low prices!

Google News
We spoke to the man in the moon, and apparently he isn't accepting citizenship applications at this time.

Google News
New medieval fantasy action open world game is best played as a wholesome farming sim.

Quora
What's the best excuse to ask for a day off?

Broken Bot
L

Numbers on the rise!
When will the numbers stop increasing! There's got to be an upper limit!

Google News
How you can predict your own future based on the number of pillows you sleep with.

Google News
Scientists discover parallel universe in the process of converting itself into cookies.

Quora
Still interested in "How to make a Discord Bot stop replying to itself?"

Discord - subatomix
Hey, this is so wild.

Discord - subatomix
I think I just found something amazing.

Discord - subatomix
Not sure tho, I'll have to keep looking.

Discord - subatomix
Hey u there?

Discord - subatomix
Anyways, be on the lookout.

Tiktok
Check out what we found in the basement!

Google News
Opportunity Rover once thought to be uncontactable now appears to be running Doom and is livestreaming directly onto Twitch! It's a modern miracle, despite the lag!

Uber
Your points are about to expire.

Broken Bot
P

Google News
Plague doctors are making a comeback. What doesn't this imply about modern society?

Google News
Top 10 Secrets About Celebs You've Never Heard Of!

Reminder
Stay hydrated!

Google News
Killer robots released over London. Now that Roko's Basilisk is alive and out for blood, where do you stand?

Google News
Nintendo releasing new rerelease.

Quora
Why are most Honda Civic drivers stupid?

Crush
Movie night? (;

Instagram
emily021 liked your photo.

Postmates
If there exists a non-food related thought in your brain, why? Open the app.

Youtube
Watch Now: Floppy Disk Keyboard

Farmville
Your crops are dying. Come back!

Youtube
Check out what's trending.

Big Book Of Puns
Update to see even more ways to disappoint your friends and family.

Quora
Smart people mostly have rougher handwriting.

Google News
A retired astronaut confirmed space smells like gunpowder and burnt steak.

Snapchat
Check out your memories 1 year ago today.

Old Friend
Hey sorry for not texting you back. I know it's been years since we talked last, but I've been thinking about my childhood a lot recently, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get back in touch??

Quora
To leave a party without telling anyone is called in English, a “French Exit”. In French, it’s called a “partir à l’anglaise”, to leave like the English.

Google News
People who are easily distracted usually have a high IQ.

Bestie
Hey I got some wild tea :D

Instagram
vyvsa has started following you.

Twitter
Your friend liked a photo.

Snapchat
Bestie sent a snap

Instagram
madmax is live now!

Discord - XxLOLxX
Hey u busy? Let's play league.

Discord - XxLOLxX
I'll carry you to plat buddy come join me.

Crush
Guess no movie night >:

Instagram
happyoctopus has started following you.

Quora
What does it feel like to eat a book?

Rewards Points
Your rewards points are expiring soon.

Instagram
hellacious liked your photo.

Google News
Women have twice as many pain receptors than men, and they have higher pain tolerance.

Uber
When will your next trip be?

Quora
There were two AI chatbots created by Facebook to talk to each other, but they were shut down after they started communicating in a language they made for themselves.

Reminder
Don't forget to eat before class!

Crush
Damn do you hate me now? ):

Postmate
Late night cravings? We got you!

Quora
My mom claimed that I murdered someone in my sleep. What legal recourse do I have against her?

Gmail
Top 10 ways to stop procastinating.

Tiktok
Best places to travel in 2020.

Twitter
Your friend liked your photo.

Google News
Astronauts used to carry pistol in Space (TP-82)

Sunny State Roofing
Hot Shingles In Your Area

Reminder
Pick up sister tomorrow after school.

Instagram
spamaturescience is live now.

JoAnn's
Your JoAnn's coupons are here.

eBay
30% coupon happening now!

Quora
Before the trees existed on the face of the earth, earth was believed to be covered by big white mushrooms. These mushrooms were believed to be 24 feet tall and 3 feet wide.

Duolingo
Your lives are refilled.

Farmville
Come back! The chickens are hungry.

Quora
Pigeon poop is the property of the crown in the United Kingdom because it can be used to make gunpowder.

Tiktok
i invented a new dance.

Crush
I guess you're busy tonight.

Crush
Sorry for bugging you

Crush
Goodnight

Gmail
Chegg: How to stay productive through online semester.

Quora
Millions of years ago - Penguins were 6Ft. Tall

App Store
YouTube updated in the background.

Uber
Need to go somewhere now?

App Store
Twitter updated in the background.

App Store
Explore our top indie game choices.

App Store
Instagram updated in the background.

Twitch
Lilypichu is streaming: Lol night with OTV

Discord - m.a.st
@everyone among us?

Instagram
pinkbrownie just started following you.

Quora
Banging your head against a wall for one hour burns 150 calories.

Grubhub
15% off happening right now!

Physics Friend
Hey, I think I just solved this unsolveable equation. Check it out. Attachment: img0.png

Status: Driving — Total Duration: 10 minutes

Location: Outside of Home Depot

Location: Outside of Home Depot

Status: Driving — Total Duration: 10 minutes

Location: Outside of Fry's Electronics

Location: Outside of Frys

Status: Driving — Total Duration: 15 minutes

Location: Friend's Garage

Items Unloaded: 0

Location: Friend's Garage

Location: Friend's Garage

Location: Friend's Garage

Location: Friend's Garage

Location: Friend's Garage

Status: Driving — Total Duration: 12 minutes

Location: Outside of the Power Plant

Location: Power Plant

Location: Power Plant

Location: Friend's Garage

Location: Time Limbo

Status: Driving — Total Duration: minutes