You sit in front of your computer. The room is silent. The only light comes from the two screens in front of you, and the only sound you hear is the one of your graphics card, slowly winding down.
Your gaze almost pierces the monitor in front of you. You are almost certain your glare would make most people shrivel up before you. (set: $worried to false)
(link: "Then, a little blip on the monitor in front of you.")[Then, a little blip on the monitor in front of you.
The chat icon of your game glows a forboding green. You got a message from someone, and you have an awful suspicion who that someone might be.
For a second you ignore it. But then your brain decides that you might as well get some answers.
(link: "Open your messages.")[You klick the icon and there, NicoNitro send you a message.
NicoNitro: "what was THAT?!"
[[Ghost him]]
[[You: "Fuck you"]]
[[You: "A reasonable response."]]
]]On second thought, let him simmer for a bit. See how important your "friendship" is to him.
In the meantime you could have some bread. Maybe choclates. Just get away from the screen.
You stand up from your chair and stretch.
You hear several joints crack, and suddenly you feel how much tension you built up.
When you look down at the screen, a little text informs you that "NicoNitro
is typing"
[[Go. If he can pull shit like this, he can also wait.]]
[[Stay. You worry an ignored tantrum might blow this problem out of proportion.]]You experience a brief surge of statisfaction. But the words turn sour in your mouth.
You don't feel like all these years playing together deserve to end like this.
But then again, you kind of do.
NicoNitro: "okay asshole get your ass back in the game"
You almost immediately type: "Never"
NicoNitro: "do you want us to loose? you will use elo too, y'know"
You wheeze angrily.
You: "Of course, elo! Yes, that is **very** important to me right now."
You: "Seriously, after what you've done, you come to me with **elo**, of all things. With ELO"
NicoNitro: "you're very selfish rn"
[[You won't stand for this.->Breaking Point]]You: "A reasonable response."
NicoNitro: "We are in the middle of the game!"
You: "You have your top tier, right? That diamond-platin-crystal league professional on a smurf, yes?"
You: "Then you don't need me."
NicoNitro: "come the fuck back"
NicoNitro: "dont be such a whiny bitch"
[[Tell him you don't intend to come back, ever.]]
[[Muse about how much he sounds like his friend.]]You don't have the patience to wait for some apolegetic bullshit. Assuming it is actually apologetic of course.
You turn and step out of your room.
(set: $calm to 0)(set:$isCalm to false)(set:$drankMilk to false)(set:$ateSandwich to false)(set:$stoleLeftovers to false)
Where do you go?
[[The Kitchen]]
[[The Balcony]]You: "Nope. I am out. Have fun with that shitstain"
You see him typing, stop for a few seconds, and then type again. Small victories.
NicoNitro: "what the fuck dude"
NicoNitro: "it was just a prank"
You feel your blood boiling a bit as you read that sentence. You take a deep breath before you type your next message.
[[Just a prank, huh?]]
[[So that's what we're calling mobbing me out.->Just a prank, huh?]]After some thought, you sigh and sit down again.
Nico's temprament has the tendency to sour very quickly. You think it's better to not give fuel to that. Maybe he has something good to say.
Just as you think that, the "Typing"-text vanishes, and a second later, his message appears on the screen.
NicoNitro: "it was just a prank"
You are left speechless. (set: $worried to true)
[[Motherf... Just a prank, huh?->Just a prank, huh?]]You: "Shouting homophobic shit at me isn't a prank."
You: "It's disgusting. And you being his accomplice makes you a complete asshole too"
NicoNitro: "Come on, don't be so sensitive"
You consider if you should, or rather, could explain to him that this has nothing to do with sensitivity. More like boundaries and being decent human beings. Right now you doubt that he could understand.
You: "I am not sensitive, but I am not wasting my time with Rick, and for this round that unfortunately means you too."
[[He is typing...->This is your fault]]You wince as the cold light of the kitchen lamp truns on.
You never really liked it, but it's great to wake up in the mornings.
The left wall is lined with a counter, while a fridge and a shabby table squeeze themselves on the right wall.
[[Let's see what the fridge has in store for us.]]
[[I will go to the balcony->The Balcony]]
[[Return to your room->Go back to your room]] Through the small, crammed living room you reach the balcony.
It is the middle of the night, but even now its still warm. Even though the skies are clear, there is no moon in sight.
Only the house lights below illuminate little pathways between the towering residential buildings.
You stand there and just stare into the starry sky.
You breathe consciously. You feel better by the minute.
(set: $calm to 0)
[[Stay just a little longer]]
[[Go to the kitchen->The Kitchen]]
[[Go back to your room]](set: $calm += 1)
You just watch the stars.
(if: $calm is 1)[You wonder how many more stars you could see if the city weren't so bright. Nonetheless, you see more stars than usual.](if: $calm is 2)[You are alone, you think. ](if: $calm is 3)[Alone with your thoughts, your insecurities, alone on a balcony in a small city in a vast universe.](if: $calm is 4)[In this nothingness, you feel like there is nothing left you could do. Nothing to be gained. Suprisingly, that seems like a good thing.]
(if: $calm is 4)[ [[You feel better]] ](else:)[ [[Stay just a little longer]] ]
[[Go to the kitchen->The Kitchen]]
[[Go back to your room]]You are greeted with the sombre glow of your monitor standby lights.
Before you sit down, you decide to turn on some kind of light. The desk lamp will do.
The warm-ish light floods the wall behind your desk.
As let yourself fall into your chair, the impact is enough to shake your mouse awake. You immediately see the pile of messages that have arrived in your absence.
(link: "Take a look.")[NicoNitro: "it was just a prank"
NicoNitro: "come on, don't be so sensitive"
NicoNitro: "are you serious?!1?1!!"
NicoNitro: "come back you whiny bitch"
NicoNitro: "4 years and it ends like this?!"
NicoNitro: "FUCKER THIS IS NOT A DRILL"
NicoNitro: "WE LOST ARE YOU HAPPY?"
NicoNitro: "worthless piece of shit garbage"
(link: "Worthless peace of shit garbage, indeed.")[As you read this, you see you have other messages form "xXStandYourGr0undXx".
(link: "You don't think you need to see this.")[Right you are.
(link: "Block immediately.")[You click yourself through a menu, but the button is easy enough to find.
Done.
[[That's enough for tonight.]]
]
]
]
](set: $isCalm to true)After a few deep breaths and a suprising cool night brezze cooling you down, a weak smile spreads across your face.
[[Stay just a little longer->You feel better]]
[[Go to the kitchen->The Kitchen]]
[[Go back to your room]]Your feet carry you to the fridge. In an almost automatic motion you pull the door open with one hand, while the other grabs for something on the inside. But then you stop.
There isn't much here really.
You could grab the milk. Maybe you still have cocoa. Or maybe even strawberry drink powder.
You could make yourself a sandwich. You would have to get creative, but it could work.
Or you could snack on the leftovers of your roommate. Not too much though, they could notice.
$isCalm[But you feel like you shouldn't eat. You aren't hungry, just stressed. Or rather '**were** stressed'.](else:)[You could just walk away, but you feel like you need a snack right now.]
(unless: $drankMilk)[ [[Take the milk]] ]
(unless: $ateSandwich)[ [[Time for a sandwich]] ]
(unless: $stoleLeftovers)[ [[Go for the leftovers]] ]
$isCalm[ [[Close the fridge]] ](else-if: $drankMilk and $ateSandwich and $stoleLeftovers)[ [[Close the fridge]] ]You take the bottle out of the door.
Across the room you find a big mug in the cupboard, and in the cupboard next to that you are pleased to find strawberry drink powder. You take the last clean teaspoon out of the cutlery tray.
You begin assembling your beverage. It's almost meditative, although it doesn't take long.
You lean against the counter as you raise your cool cup and take a big sip.
Delicious. Just what you needed.
(set: $drankMilk to true)
You drink the whole thing way too fast, $isCalm[but it's worth it.](else:)[but you feel like you want more.]
Do you want anything else?
[[Go back to the fridge->Let's see what the fridge has in store for us.]]
$isCalm[ [[Anything else in the kitchen?->The Kitchen]] ]One after another you grab sliced ham, cheese, mayo and ketchup from your compartment. With the two slices of toast you have left they won't make the best sandwich, but also not the worst. You wish you had some lettuce, but oh well.
You assemble your sandwich with care. You are well aware that it won't win any beauty contests, but you feel like it deserves your attention. More than those idiots anyway.
(set: $ateSandwich to true)
You devour your creation, which turns out tastier than you expected. If only you had some lettuce...$isCalm[ but its still the best thing ever in the middle of the night.](else:)[ It would have been perfect.]
Do you want anything else?
[[Go back to the fridge->Let's see what the fridge has in store for us.]]
$isCalm[ [[Anything else in the kitchen?->The Kitchen]] ]Chicken Curry. Their speciality.
You skim some bits from the edges of the plate. It's very statisfying. Maybe you should cook with them more often?
You return the plate to the fridge, and hope it looks completely natural.
$isCalm[Actually, you could just ask tomorrow if you can have the rest of the plate. And also if they'd be willing to be compensated with your cooking skills. ](else:)[You still feel bad. Maybe you shouldn't steal other peoples stuff, even in a bad mood.]
(set: $stoleLeftovers to true)
Do you want anything else?
[[Go back to the fridge->Let's see what the fridge has in store for us.]]
$isCalm[ [[Anything else in the kitchen?->The Kitchen]] ](if: $drankMilk and $ateSandwich and $stoleLeftovers)[Your relentless hunger seems to have subsided. Not that there was anything left to plunder.
You close the fridge door with a wierd statisfaction.](else-if:$isCalm)[You close the fridge. No more late night snacking, not for such a shitty reason.]
[[So, I'm still in the kitchen then->The Kitchen]] In quick succession you hit "Quit game", "Yes" and "Shut down".
The screens in front of you turn dark.
It is over.
You are not exactly sure to how many things that sentence applies.
(link: "Go to bed.")[ After going through the necessary preparations, you fall into your bed. For a while you just stare at your cieling.
$isCalm[But you are at a strange peace with yourself. Somewhere deep down you knew this day would come. You will see tomorrow what is still salvagable. But no need to worry about that now.](else:)[The events of the past two hours still echo in your head. You don't know what to think. Did Nico really turn on you? How log did you tolerate him hanging out with that asshole? Could something have been done? Is this your fault? - Thoughts spin rapidly into infinity.]
Eventually sleep finds you.
[[...->The End]]
]The Aftermath
A game by Thilo Brendel
Content Warning:
This game deals woth online mobbing and uses strong language.
If that's not your jam, be warned.
(link: "I understand and cointinue")[
[[START->The Monitor]]
]The End
[[Play again->Game Start]] You suppress the urge to punch through your monitor as you shut down your PC. You can't help but feel bitter about everything that happened, be it in the last hour or the weeks leading up to this. The more you think about it, the more obvious the signs become. Also you almost crunch down on your toothbrush as you piece together how early he started to be an ass. $worried[
You should have never gone back to the chat. Going back was a mistake. You grimly chuckle at ever thinking he could be talked out of this.]
(link: "...")[Once in bed your thoughts are red, hot and raw. There are a million more things you want to say, a million more profanities to throw at him. You hate Nico. You hate Nico's trolling friend. Especially his trolling friend.
(link: "Scum of the Earth.")[Scum of the Earth.
The world would be better off if they would never have been born.
(link: "I try to sleep.")[Eventually the darkness of your room manages to get one up on your newly formed grudge, and finally sleep finds you.
[[...->The End]]
]
]
]You don't know how to feel as you turn off your computer.
You know Nico, right? You know he wouldn't normally be like this, right? Is it just bad company? Is it just a phase? The last time you played with the group, he was alright, wasn't he? Why would he pull shit like this? And why had he teamed up with that alt-right guy?
Thausands of questions. No statisfying answers. $worried[
You wonder if it was a good idea to return to the chat. Evidently, nothing has improved. So probably no. But you wish it had. You wanted it so bad. But no. Here you lie, and wonder about what could have been done.]
You lay awake long into the night, asking yourself what went wrong. As black slowly truns to blue, you finally fall asleep.
[[...->The End]]You: "Selfish, huh? Just because I don't play your games anymore like a good dog? No, you've had this coming a long time."
NicoNitro: "omg I'm sorry okay come back"
Just as you prepare to (again) tell him you won't come back, a shower of messages cut your typing off.
NicoNitro: "lol you into that shit right?
NicoNitro: "ha ha do i have to call you good boy or something now"
NicoNitro: "lol you're a sensitive kink bitch and we losin because of you"
For the first time ever in your life you feel your bloodpressure rise in anger. However you can get yourself to stay civil.
You: "First off, I am not into that, second, there's nothing worng with people that are."
You: "Third, **YOU** decided to "prank" on **ME**, how is that **MY** fault?!"
NicoNitro: "see, just a prank"
NicoNitro: "if you wouldn't be such a pussy, you's come back"
NicoNitro: "so yeah, your fault fag"
[[Go ballistic.]] NicoNitro: "listen man we we are losing becaus you wont come back"
NicoNitro: "what do you not understand"
You: "I understand that your loss is caused by my absense."
You: "But how was that absence caused, I wonder?"
You also wonder if he is playing dumb. How can he not have a concept of what he has done?
NicoNitro: "well okay sissy boy"
NicoNitro: "we lose because a fag like you doen't get a joke"
[[Stay civil.->What happened to you?]]
[[Go ballistic.]] You: "Listen here you little shit"
(link: "(write)")[You: "you have no right to curse at me"
(link: "(write)")[You: "you have no right to bitch about me not coming back"
(link: "(write)")[
NicoNitro: "lol just come back"
You: "after being a shithead, conspiring with your shithead friend to attack me"
(link: "(write)")[You: "what did you THINK this would cause?"
(link: "(write)")[You: "what did you THINK would my reaction be?!"
(link: "(write)")[You: " *'Yeah, very cool offensive stuff, that's of course totally a joke'* "
(link: "(write)")[You: "In what kind of FUCKED UP headspace you have to be to think this is even REMOTELY FUNNY?"
(link: "(write)")[You: "ANSWER ME RANCID LITTLE SHIT"
You intensly stare at the screen.
You see him typing.
(link: "But what?")[
NicoNitro: "lmao this is so funny"
NicoNitro: "Rick thinks its funny too"
NicoNitro: "we still losing tho, so come back"
(link: "That bastard.")[You: "simping for daddy Rick won't get you ANYWHERE near gold, much less platin"
(link: "You'll tear him down.")[You: "where it will get you is elo hell"
(link: "He deserves this.")[You: "you'll NEVER achieve ANYTHING"
(link: "Thinks he can worm himself out.")[
NicoNitro: "hey whoa"
You: "you're not even a talented player"
(link: "Not today.")[You: "you just let us carry you while you try not to stand in our way"
(link: "Not anymore.")[
NicoNitro: "I am a good player yo, your a support cuck"
You: "this ends today"
[[Drown him out.]]
]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]You: "I'll tell the others"
(link: "Oh yes.")[You: "oscar, james and lulu"
NicoNitro: "wait what"
(link: "Right there.")[You: "you're LUCKY if they wanna talk to you like EVER again"
(link: "Where it hurts.")[You: "4 years of playing together"
(link: "I know it does.")[You: "you had a dream?"
NicoNitro: "wait don't"
(link: "Asshole")[You: "I SHIT on your dream"
(link: "That's what you get.")[You: "you'll lose your team"
(link: "Consequences.")[You: "you'll lose the respect of everyone who played with you"
(link: "Sweet, sweet consequences.")[You: "we came to play nice and now you turned out to be AN ABSOULUTE CUNT"
(link: "I bet...")[You: "you brought that DICKWEED ALT-RIGHT WANGROD on here"
(link: "Rick planned this.")[You: "No one likes him"
(link: "He wanted this.")[You: "no one likes you for bringing him"
(link: "But I am done.")[You: "and then"
(link: "SO DONE.")[You: "AND THEN"
(link: "If he can't distinguish between friends and bad influences...")[You: "YOU TWO DECIDE IT WOULD BE FUNNY"
NicoNitro: "Hey I said I'm sorry"
(link: "DOESN'T MATTER NOW")[You: "VERY FUNNY"
(link: "YOU did this.")[You: "TO TRY AND ATTACK ME WHILE I AM ISOLATED WITH YOU"
(link: "Suffer.")[You: "AND GUESS WHAT"
(link: "Suffer.")[You: "IT WORKED!"
NicoNitro: "pls don't do this"
(link: "Suffer.")[You: "**IT WORKED!!!**"
(link: "Suffer.")[You: "AREN'T YOU HAPPY IT DID?"
(link: "Suffer.")[You: "AREN'T YOU HAPPY YOU AND THAT ASSHOLE PERMANENTLY SCARED ME AWAY?"
(link: "Suffer.")[You: "AREN'T YOU HAPPY WITH THE CONSEQUENCES?"
(link: "(suffer)")[You: "I HOPE IT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED"
(link: "(suffer)")[You: "BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE DREAM TEAM WON'T LAST MUCH LONGER AFTER THIS"
(link: "(suffer)")[You: "YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING BAD IN THIS WORLD"
(link: "(suffer)")[You: "YOU LITTLE SHITSTAIN"
(link: "(suffer)")[You: "I HOPE YOUR ASSHAT FRIEND IS STILL LAUGHING"
(link: "(suffer)")[You: "YOUR SHIT DOESN'T MATTER"
(link: "(suffer)")[You: "YOUR DREAM IS UNREALISTSIC AND STUPID"
(link: "(suffer)")[You: "I WHISH YOU A WORLD OF HURT"
(link: "(suffer)")[You: "A LIFE WITHOUT ANY GOOD IN IT"
(link: "Stand up.")[
You push yourself violently from the table.
Your chair is shoved somewhere behind you, audibly hiting something.
It's almost like you get physical feedback from getting up. For a second you get dizzy.
Heavy breaths escape your mouth. Your fists clench. You have the urge to kick something.
You didn't notice how worked up you got.
For a moment you stare at your hands, at your slightly shaking self.
As you focus, you collect your chair and slump into it.
Only one thing left to do.
[[You'll tell everyone->Disband]]
]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]You spend some time gathering yourself, before you open 3 new chats.
No one is online, but you'd rather send the messages now than later. You won't give that son of a bitch any time to try and bend the narrative. That dickwad can go and die in a fire or something.
After composing an all-encompassing message, you copy and send it.
You feel a tiny bit better.
All the while you get new messages form Nico, but to you none of them matter. A quick look at them reveals to you that they swing wildly between "please don't rip up my team" and "MOTHERFUCKER HOW DARE YOU"
You decide to block him. Nothing good will come from him. You're not interested in his tantrum. It only stokes your anger. But one last message.
You: "Off to the shadow realm you go, asshole."
[[You're done. So done with everything.->Scorching Thoughts]]Your eyes kind of can't believe what they see.
Nico has never talked to you like this.
Or did he?
You: "What happened to you? Remember when we had **fun** playing together? Remember when we were a team? You, me, oscar, james and lulu?"
You: "When did you become such a shit person? When did you start with this... hateful shit?"
You sink back into your chair. All your fight has left you.
Honestly you are just sad.
It feels like history repeating itself.
After a while, you notice the green glow again.
NicoNitro: "are you serious rn?"
You are unable to respond. You just stare at the screen for who knows how long.
NicoNitro: "we lost. my qualifiers. because of you"
NicoNitro: "great work"
You don't need to take this.
[[...->Why?]]You: "You know, I think this is quite cathertic for you."
You: "Lose the game for me, would you kindly? Maybe you'll find something out about yourself and your relationships to other people."
NicoNitro: "lol wtf dude, come back"
NicoNitro: "these are my qualifiers"
NicoNitro: "get the fuck back here"
You: "Oh, but you have Rick with you, don't you? If he is half as good as he says, and twice as good as he plays, you'll have no problem winning this."
NicoNitro: "no stfu we are no full team"
NicoNitro: "you fucked off, and now we need you"
You: "We? WE? Where was the "WE" when your "New aquaintance" pulled off his mask and shouted "Shoot all the gays!" ?! Where was the we when you laughed at that and kept shouting?! There is no we here, just you."
[[...->This is your fault]]You: Is that what you think? Or is that what Rick thinks? Because you sure as hell are whining for me to come back.
You have another short spike in endorphins as you see him typing, stop, typing again, stopping again.
You wait for a while, savoring this small victory. Then the messages come.
NicoNitro: "lol no your to sensitive"
NicoNitro: "come back now"
NicoNitro: "we can still turn this around"
[[Tell him you couldn't care less about the game.]]
[[If it'll learn him, sure, you'd gladly let him lose.->Come. Back.]]You: "I could of course come back, but I have no investment in this game anymore whatsoever."
NicoNitro: "lol wtf dude, come back"
NicoNitro: "these are my qualifiers"
NicoNitro: "get the fuck back here"
You: "Oh, but you *do* have Rick with you, don't you? If he is half as good as he says, and twice as good as he plays, you'll have no problem winning this."
NicoNitro: "no stfu we are no full team"
NicoNitro: "you fucked off, and now we need you"
You: "We? WE? Where was the "WE" when your "New aquaintance" pulled off his mask and shouted all his homophobic bullshit threats?! Where was the "WE" when you laughed at that and he kept shouting?! There is no we here, just you."
[[...->This is your fault]]