In fact yesterday has come to be the name of so many a day, that if it were to cease existing, all the other yesterdays would stand where it was in solidarity.\n\n[[Old neighbour|trust old neighbour?]] rocks...

Old neighbour rocks back and forth. The front deck is the size of neighbour's dog. The front yard is big enough for neighbour's feet, and rocking chair.\n\nOld neighbour's house is a thousand years old.\nPill bottles line each of its three windows. Everyday pills.\n\nOld neighbour wants to explain the nature of today, as opposed to yesterday. Yesterday may be a product of their <i>[[imagination]]</i>.\n\n<<button [[trust neighbour]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[don't trust neighbour]]>><<endbutton>>

Park gang huddled around hot-chocolate.\nZealot circling, with shiny flyers. \n\nIt's possible to see home from here, the empty window, in the front, where partner could appear, but doesn't.\n\nThe park, <i>[[high-pitch-child-screams|think]]</i> and rumbling-traffic-whines. \n\n<<button [[trust the zealot|trust individual?]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[trust the gang|trust group?]]>><<endbutton>>

This shouldn't even have been a choice.\n\nIt wouldn't be. in any other circumstance. ever.\n\nbut... help is needed. \n\nPigeon looks on, and gives a little dance, poopooing on the sorry state of helplessness, with its broken wing, and its lopsidded beak, and the gum stuck to its remaining tailfeather.\n\n[[Look around...|outside]]\nCross the street, towards the [[park]].\n<<nobr>>\n<<set $notTrusting = $notTrusting+1>>\n<<set $park = "dark">>\n<<endnobr>>\n

There isn't much.\nIt might belong to partner.\n\nPartner is good about objectively real problems, such as money.\n\n[[continue...|outside]]\n\n<<set $inventory = "money">>

Prayer doesn't even need grammar. \nPossible to ANYWORD through it.\n\nHELP!\n\nis needed.\n\nthankyou.\n\nGod maybe hears.\nears turn red.\n\nif God answers, it's like partner, and partner's mind-reading, certainty is not really meant to be.\n\n[[...but it feels like this alleyway is for you.|alleyway]]\n[[... or just this, what lies at the feet of home|outside]]\n<<nobr>>\n\n<<set $trustGod to confirm("Focus. Is this the kind of help needed?")>>\n\n<<if $trustGod>> \n<<set $alleyway = "bright">>\n<<set $trust = $trust+1>>\n\n<<else>>\n<<goto "don't trust God">>\n<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

Pigeon does not look where it's going, underfoot, chin down, attracted to shoe leather.\n\n<<button [[trust pigeon]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[don't trust pigeon]]>><<endbutton>>

Partner is frustrated by problems.\nBut... help is needed\n\n<<button [[trust partner]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[don't trust partner]]>><<endbutton>>

Partner has tidied up. Hats lined up on the hat-rack.\n<<nobr>>\n<<if hasVisited ("don't trust neighbour")>>\nPartner greets quietly; it is known, old neighbour listens.\n<<else>>\nPartner greets quietly; neighbour's snores vibrate softly through the hat-rack wall.\n<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>\n<<nobr>>\n<<if hasVisited ("don't trust pigeon")>>\nPigeon coos, ruffled feathers against the bedroom window, solitary tail-feather sticking to the window ledge with fadded bubblegum. \n<<else>>\nPigeon can be seen accross the street, through the bedroom window, performing the death of the swan, for a small crowd of adoring ants.\n<<endif>>\n<<if hasVisited ("don't trust God")>>\nGod peeks inside. And winks. But always watches with at least one eye.\n<<else>>\nGod peeks inside, and closes the curtains. \n<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>\n\nthe end.

Partner is comforting, at times. A problem should appear real to them.\n\nReal problems are a special breed.\n\nThere's no wikipedia page.\n\nAnd this problem may be of a more serious <i>[[imagined]]</i> sort.\n\n<<button [[trust|trust partner]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[don't trust|don't trust partner]]>><<endbutton>>

Shadow recedes back into something like darkness.\nStill not too far...\n<<choice "trust someone">>\n<<choice "don't trust someone">>

Zealot induces a crow to hand out the second pile of flyers.\n \nPark gang sends ups neat lines of steam in unison, the bars in a musical rendering of: Noise.\n\n<<button [[trust the zealot|trust individual?]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[trust the gang|trust group?]]>><<endbutton>><<nobr>><<if $trustNoOne gte 2>><<button [[trust no one]]>><<endbutton>>\n<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>\n

An imagined problem needs an especially long and confusing explanation. A no-nonsense loved-one like this does not have the patience.\n\nstill, they are [[partner|trust partner?]]...

Something isn't right. \nPartner's voice tilts. \nHome stutters. \nJangling glassware. \nHinges clasp.\n\nPartner also needs help. \n\nCollapsing structures, seconds to dive from the [[rubble|outside]].\nPartner disappears [[into the house|backwards]].\n<<set $house = "collapsed">>

"Please. is helping possible?"\nGang splits open. Closest person says: "there's hot-chocolate."\nother person says "... for the soul."\nLaughter ensues. Kind hearted. and sad.\n\n[[go back...|outside]]\n<<set $trust = $trust+1>>

<<set $trustIndividual to confirm("That person is alone for a reason... also sharp tongue...")>>\n\n<<if $trustIndividual>> \n<<set $park = "individualTrust">>\n<<goto "trust individual">>\n\n<<else>>\n<<set $trustNoOne = $trustNoOne + 1>>\n<<goto "trust people?">>\n<<endif>>\n\n[[trust individual]]

"trust is not not trust" \nPartner says. \n\nPartner is sometimes mindreading, but only the bits that don't make sense, only the bits that are up for debate.\n\nA [[walk|outside]] will clear this up.

Is spry is a good thing? \nAre agility and fragility good to throw together like this, in an empty alley?\n\nThat kind of strength, can spin in any direction. A [[person|trust someone?]] could innadvertently cause dammage.\n

good call. best decision ever.\n<<nobr>>\n<<set $notTrusting = $notTrusting+1>>\n<<set $alleyway = "outNoTrust">>\n<<endnobr>>\nnow quiet. and hurry. and [[go back|outside]].

Pigeon can't do anything.\n\nThis is beyond debate.\n\nStill...\n\nhelp is needed, no harm in [[asking]]?\n\n<<button [[trust pigeon]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[don't trust pigeon]]>><<endbutton>>

Really, not trusting is a kind of trust... it's embedded in the concept of trust.\n\nIt's on the trust spectrum.\n\n...\n\nPartner knows something's up.\nAlso, this is also a kind of trust.\nA suspicious, looking at you without turning on the lights, kind of trust. It's probably best to [[avoid|the lights are on!]] what comes [[next|is this an earthquake?]].\n<<nobr>>\n<<set $notTrusting = $notTrusting+1>>\n<<set $outside = "dark">>\n<<endnobr>>

Down the block, the sky droops.\n\nFaded posters from an avant guard play.\n\n[[Poster guy's|Poster guy]] teeth have been rubbed over with marker.

<<nobr>>\n<<set $decisionNum = $trust + $notTrusting>>\n<<if $decisionNum gte 2>>\n<<set $outside = $decisionNum>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $outside is "dark">>\nOutside is uncomfortable...\nbut so is needing help. \nUrgency is a low pulse.\n<<elseif $outside is "bright">>\nOutside is uncomfortable...\nbut so is needing help. \nJust breathe.\n<<elseif $outside is 2>>\nBetween home and chaos (trust has been squandered on <<print $trust>> of 2 pottential helpers).\n<<elseif $outside is 3>>\nMice speak in tongues (trust has been squandered on <<print $trust>> of 3 pottential helpers).\n<<elseif $outside is 4>>\nThere are a limited number of options... HELP! is needed (trust has been squandered on <<print $trust>> of 4 pottential helpers).\n<<elseif $outside is 5>>\nOuside is seeming emptier. Perhaps it's getting later (trust has been squandered on <<print $trust>> of 5 pottential helpers).\n<<elseif $outside is 6>>\nOuside is seeming emptier. Perhaps it's getting later (trust has been squandered on <<print $trust>> of 6 pottential helpers).\n<<elseif $outside is 7 and $trust is 7>>\nAlways trusting. But what is help? [[the end]]?\n<<elseif $outside is 7 and $trust gte 4 and $trust lte 6>>\nMostly trusting... still no help? [[the end]]?\n<<elseif $outside is 7 and $trust lte 3 and $trust gte 1>>\nMostly not trusting. This is good. help is elsewhere (or nowhere). [[the end]]?\n<<elseif $outside is 7 and $trust is 0>>\nNever trusting. fantastic. [[the end]]?\n<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>\n\n<<nobr>>\n<<if $downTheBlock is "notYet">>\n[[old neighbour]] is here...\n<<elseif $downTheBlock is "bright">>\nold neighbour pets the giant dog. Neither will bark, if their line of sight is disturbed. Walk [[down the block]]...\n<<elseif $downTheBlock is "dark">>\nGiant dog licks old neighbour's hand. Both fixate on the sidewalk. Disturb their line of sight, walk [[down the block]]...\n<<elseif $downTheBlock is "outTrust">>\n"Please help," says old neighbour. "Dog needs a [[run.|run]]"\n<<elseif $downTheBlock is "outNoTrust">>\nGiant dog is chewing through its restraints... [[Run!|run]]\n<<elseif $downTheBlock is "final">>\nold neighbour hums a showtune.\n<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>\n<<nobr>>\n<<if $park is "notYet" and $decisionNum is 1>>\nso is [[pigeon]]...\n<<elseif $park is "notYet" and $decisionNum gt 1>>\n[[pigeon]] tries to say "I'm here."\n<<elseif $park is "bright">>\nPigeon will teach ballet to a group of worker ants on break. At the [[park]].\n<<elseif $park is "dark">>\nPigeon curtseys to a group of businessmen overtaking the street. Flees to the [[park]]\n<<elseif $park is "individualTrust">>\nThere's an invisible bench... deep in the park... [[sit down]] and read a flyer-story to the crow.\n<<elseif $park is "groupTrust">>\nThere's an invisible bench... deep in the park... [[sit down]] and warm up with hot-chocolate.\n<<elseif $park is "noOneTrust">>\nThere's an invisible bench... deep in the park... [[sit down]] and melt into welcomed invisibility.\n<<elseif $park is "final">>\nThe park closes its gates, from the inside.\n<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>\n<<nobr>>\n<<if $alleyway is "notYet" and $decisionNum is 1>>\nso is [[God]]...\n(God may be everywhere...) \n<<elseif $alleyway is "notYet" and $decisionNum gt 1>>\n[[God]] is possibly here?\n(God may be everywhere...) \n<<elseif $alleyway is "bright">>\nDid God show the way to the [[alleyway]]?\n<<elseif $alleyway is "dark">>\nThe bootstraps, once pulled up, flop down, point to the [[alleyway]].\n<<elseif $alleyway is "outTrust">>\nIf listening intently, it may have been possible to hear a voice, answering, in the strange [[yard]], in the alley.\n<<elseif $alleyway is "outNoTrust">>\nFeeling doubt... Maybe it wasn't the best decision to run from the person-shape, in the [[yard]], in the alley.\n<<elseif $alleyway is "final">>\nThe main take away here is that God may be anywhere, but probably not in the yard, in the dark, foreboding, never-to-return-again alleyway...\n<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>\n<<if $outside is "dark">>\npartner is searching in the rubble, this is their kindness.\n<<elseif $outside is "bright">>\npartner is safe at home.\n<<elseif $outside is 10>>\nmaybe it's time to go [[home]]...\n<<else>>\nbedroom window can be seen, but partner can not be seen inside.\n<<endif>>\n

There are different ways of asking for help, aren't there?\n\nThis is an attention. Pigeon could give a head bob, a wing flap, jog a memory that leads to help.\n\n[[Look at pigeon...|trust pigeon?]]

Blurt out, "help is needed"\n\nPartner's ears, slightly larger AND RED.\n\nThis is not desirable. [[Tiptoe|tiptoe]] accross the floorboards, a soothing sound, towards the door. Take [[money]], grab [[keys]], hold on for dear [[life]].\n\nHelp is indeed needed, but surely, at a lower cost.\n<<nobr>>\n\n<<set $trustPartner to confirm("Is this really the way? Because, help is needed...")>>\n\n<<if $trustPartner>> \n<<set $outside = "bright">>\n<<set $trust = $trust+1>>\n\n<<else>>\n<<goto "don't trust partner">>\n<<endif>>\n\n<<endnobr>>

God is a pro at mind-reading.\n\nThis is a plus. \n\nThe trick is to trust that help will be garnered, if asked for... nicely... by a person who is good, or at least believes in good, or at least, by a person who trusts that attracting God's attention won't remind God of what that person truly deserves... \n\nUnless God is <i>[[imaginary]]</i>, and in that case, what's the harm?\n\n<<button [[trust God]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[don't trust God]]>><<endbutton>>\n

help is needed

"Please. is helping possible?"\n\nZealot reads. from flyer: "These are the Words of Help." the end.\n\nOddly comforting?\n\nCrow says something profane, takes off, flyer in beak. This is the building of neighbourhood nests.\n[[go back...|outside]]\n<<set $trust = $trust+1>>

This is wise.\nEven all the sayings go: "God helps the one that helps themselves" \n\n[[everything is possible alone|this is not possible alone]]\n<<nobr>>\n<<set $notTrusting = $notTrusting+1>>\n<<set $alleyway = "dark">>\n<<endnobr>>

Those eyes are not kind.\nThere's water damage, and something of the undernearth wearing through.\nFootsteps fall from an invisible nearby.\n\nHelp is needed, and...\n\n...[[run]]!\n(or [[go back...|outside]])\n<<nobr>>\n<<set $notTrusting = $notTrusting+1>>\n<<set $downTheBlock = "outNoTrust">>\n<<endnobr>>

A deep breath tightens thoughts to their seats.\nA deep exhale makes the leaves rustle. \n\nTime to search for help [[outside]].\n\n<<set $inventory = "life">>

Shadow seems <i>[[spry]]</i>, possibly helpful.\n\nJust calling out would be enough...\n<<button [[trust someone]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[don't trust someone]]>><<endbutton>>

house\nhouse \nhouse \nhouse \naround the block, and again, and again.\n\nSomething following... a giant dog? The metaphor of a dog, a shadow, the picture of a man on a poster, with water-damaged eyes, and a dadaist chant: Run, house, mouse, house, run, house, mouse, house...\n\nRUN!\n\nuntil breath is so short it hurts.\n\n[[go back|outside]]\n<<set $downTheBlock = "final">>

best to go [[home]]... no? \n\nEverything can also end here... before home. before the cycle starts up again...

about the author

Hold onto the rape-whistle keychain.\n(its a keychain)\n\nNow, its time to [[run|outside]]. \n\n<<set $inventory = "keys">>\n

Poster guy is a local.\n\nHe's been spotted, not in this alleyways, but others. And not on posters, but in flesh.\n\nHis kind of success comes with its whispers.\n\nBut, any kind of help is needed. whispered. broken down. <i>[[mad]]-hatter</i> help. Poster guy has kind eyes.\n\n<<button [[trust poster guy]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[don't trust poster guy]]>><<endbutton>>

A society of pigeons\ncommunes with a society of [[thieves|people]], or maybe they're poets.

Calculated madness, like looking for sympathy in a teary reflection.\n\nAvant guard poster guy.\n\nHelp can be pulled from rock if necessary, especially if rock exibits some sign of kindness.\n\n[[Poster guy|trust poster guy?]]

Alleyway is deserted.\nEven (almost) echoey.\nA person-shaped [[someone]] in the sharpened geometry of backyard fences.\n

Could an imaginary God grant imaginary help? \n\nWhat's the currency of imaginary help? \n\nLike say, opposed to imaginary unhelpfulness...\n\n[[trust God?]]\n\n

The only choice really.\n\nOld neighbour nods, and there's a grimace, like a smile when no teeth are inside. Recognizing that they know every midnight secret, seeping through shared walls...\n\nWalk quickly, before neighbour speaks, [[down the block]].\n[[Look around.|outside]]\n<<nobr>>\n<<set $notTrusting = $notTrusting+1>>\n<<set $downTheBlock = "dark">>\n<<endnobr>>

Those eyes are not kind.\nThere's water damage, and something of the undernearth wearing through.\nFootsteps fall from an invisible nearby.\n\nHelp is needed, and...\n\n...[[run]]!\n(or [[go back...|outside]])\n<<nobr>>\n\n<<set $trustPosterGuy to confirm("Really? This is what it has come to?")>>\n\n<<if $trustPosterGuy>> \n<<set $downTheBlock = "outTrust">>\n<<set $trust = $trust+1>>\n\n<<else>>\n<<goto "don't trust poster guy">>\n<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

Help is a thing, isn't it... a reserve of energy just sitting somewhere in each being. \n\nBut what is it? What is it really? What is this act, of asking for it?\n[[trust people?]]

Backwards contains what happened already.\n\nHere, one can examine all the mistakes.\n\nThis is a fun thing, especially with partner.\n\nBut no time now, [[help|outside]] is needed.

Could be a serial killer,\nbodies burried under the tomato plants.\n\nStill, HELP! is needed. \n\nOpen the fence.\n\nTresspassing!\n\nTomatoes. Bright red. The smell is bitter, but the colour... \n"Yes?" A person-shaped gardner says.\nSilence.\nis.\ngetting.\nawkward.\n[[go back|outside]].\n<<set $alleyway = "final">>\n\n\n

This is home.\n\nHome is basically a hat-rack, drilled to a flatish surface covered with fifty coats of paint.\n\nAt home there is [[partner]].\n\nHelp is needed.\n

/% these variables count the types of decisions you've made, and \nhow many times you've decided between trust and don't trust\nI'm not using them to alter the story-telling... yet%/\n<<set $notTrusting = 0>>\n<<set $trust = 0>>\n<<set $decisionNum = $notTrusting + $trust>>\n\n/% this is tracking a few "items" you can pick up at home... maybe also elsewhere%/\n<<set $inventory = "nothing">>\n\n/% trustNoOne is for the "trust no one" option at the park%/\n<<set $trustNoOne = 0>>\n\n/% these variables will help determine what options you have when Outside... to help track your progress with neighbour, pigeon, and God%/\n<<set $downTheBlock = "notYet">>\n<<set $alleyway = "notYet">>\n<<set $park = "notYet">>

Deep,\ndeep inside the park.\nPast the streams of spilt hot-chocolate, \npast the foil garlands of torn flyers shifting under the breeze,\na bench.\n\nThis bench can't be seen from the window at home. \nIt can't be seen from anywhere. \n<<set $park = "noOneTrust">>\n[[sit down]]\n[[go back...|outside]]\n<<set $notTrusting = $notTrusting+1>>

Bootstraps pulled tight. \n\nand nothing.\n\nHelp is needed. \n\n[[Look around.|outside]]\nexplore the [[alleyway]].

Old neighbour knows about HELP!\nIts old hat, its the rocking back and forth, its the pills in the windows, its the shrinking front yard, and the giant dog.\n\nOld neighbour knows.\n\n"Walk if off" they say, "that's what I would do if I still could."\n\nWalk [[down the block]].\n[[Look around...|outside]]\n<<nobr>>\n\n<<set $trustNeighbour to confirm("Really? Burden neighbour with more to worry for?")>>\n\n<<if $trustNeighbour>> \n<<set $downTheBlock = "bright">>\n<<set $trust = $trust+1>>\n\n<<else>>\n<<goto "don't trust neighbour">>\n<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

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a quiet step is a good friend.\n\nIt carries you [[outside]].\n\n<<set $inventory = "silence">>

<<set $trustgoup to confirm("It will require a loud voice... and no one will understand...")>>\n\n<<if $trustgroup>> \n<<set $park = "groupTrust">>\n<<goto "trust group">>\n\n<<else>>\n<<set $trustNoOne = $trustNoOne + 1>>\n<<goto "trust people?">>\n<<endif>>\n\n[[trust group]]

Pigeon does a dance. \n\niridescent grey and mauve.\n\ncrumbling coo, the street tilts. \n\nits friends, family, and foes flock to the [[park]] across the street.\n\nlook [[around...|outside]]\n<<nobr>>\n\n<<set $trustPigeon to confirm("Pigeon may not be the smartest...")>>\n\n<<if $trustPigeon>> \n<<set $park = "bright">>\n<<set $trust = $trust+1>>\n\n<<else>>\n<<goto "don't trust pigeon">>\n<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

melisandre schofield

Fake lake.\nA bottle cap floats. \nScreaming here would feel. real. great.\n\nBreathe.\nScream "HELP!" or don't. \ninvisibility sounds like invincibility.\nPigeon comes around. Same pigeon? Yes. It does the hokey-pokey.\n\n[[go back...|outside]]\n<<set $park = "final">>

Old neighbour's hand is in a fist. Pills dissolved with sweat form a paste rubbed onto the arms of the rocking chair.\n\n<<button [[trust neighbour]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[don't trust neighbour]]>><<endbutton>>

Leap of faith... right?\n\n<<button [[trust God]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[don't trust God]]>><<endbutton>>\n

This is ridiculous. \nThere's no one.\n\nbut help is needed\n\n<<button [[trust poster guy]]>><<endbutton>><<button [[don't trust poster guy]]>><<endbutton>>

help!\nvoice is not loud. \nPerson-shape has escaped into architecture.\nmaybe because of how quiet the voice, how pathetic the plea.\n[[go back|outside]]\n[[go further|yard]]\n<<nobr>>\n\n<<set $trustSomeone to confirm("Really? This could be anyone. Anyone. In a dark alley.")>>\n\n<<if $trustSomeone>> \n<<set $alleyway = "outTrust">>\n<<set $trust = $trust+1>>\n\n<<else>>\n<<goto "don't trust someone">>\n<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>