Live to Tell

//I have a tale to tell// //Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well// //I was not ready for the fall// //Too blind to see the writing on the wall// It is November 29, 2019, and it is 11:31PM and I am driving east on Highway 70 from Frederick, MD, back home to Baltimore. I am grinning. Both my hands are on the wheel. Madonna is blasting from the stereo. I am singing along, ''[[full-throated->tag 2]]''.

//I know where beauty lives I've seen it once, I know the warm she gives The light that you could never see It shines inside, you can't take that from [[me->tag 3]]//

We eat Thai food. It is an actual date, a //real// date, that had been planned. I dressed up for it. I made a choice to say what I wanted. ''And I got [[it->tag 4]].''

//A man can tell a thousand lies I've learned my lesson well Hope I live to tell The secret I have learned, 'til then It will burn inside of ''[[me->tag 5]]''//

//Will it grow cold The secret that I hide, will I grow old How will they hear When will they learn How will they ''[[know->tag 10]]''//

She is wearing a leather jacket. We walk along the street and through some galleries. She doesn't like the same type of paintings I do, it seems. Like most women I've kissed and touched, she is shorter than I am. It doesn't matter. When she pushes me up against my car in the parking lot- when I feel her breath warm on my cheek- when I slide my fingers through the hair at the back of her neck ''the height difference does.not.[[matter->tag 6]].''

Life can change dramatically in just 8 seconds. I should know. It's miraclous that I still drive all these years later; that I //can// drive. It's a miracle I lived through that wreck. 8 seconds. It's a miracle that I lived through what came //after// the wreck. I'm so glad to be sitting here. I'm so glad to be singing ''[[Madonna->tag 7]]''.

//The truth is never far behind You kept it hidden well If I live to ''[[tell->tag 12]]''//

//If I ran away, I'd never have the strength To go very far How would they hear the beating of my ''[[heart->tag 8]]''//

I kissed a woman. She kissed me ''[[back->tag 9]]''.

It is 11:34PM now and I am in the right hand lane. I drive the speed limit. I always did before and I always have since. People act crazy in their cars. Maybe they don't know that they might die. Maybe they don't know how horrible and endless 8 seconds can ''[[feel->tag 11]]''.

A silver grey sedan races up the left lane. Tires screaming--it darts in front of me. I barely have time to react. I feel a primal noise coming up from the bottom of my gut. //This cannot be happening ''[[again->tag 13]]''.//

This time, I am a witness: The silver car skids onto the shoulder a wheel catches wrongly it flips once lands on the roof and skids into the ''[[ditch->tag 15]].''

I can't see the driver. Everything happens so fast. I let off the gas and yell to no one: ''THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING [[AGAIN->tag 14]].''

//The secret I knew then Will I ever have the chance again ''[[?->Live to Tell]]''//

She wore a leather jacket. I dressed up for it. I made a choice. I asked for something I wanted and I got ''[[it->tag 16]]''.