You rip the jukebox from the floor. The expected reaction occurs. The partons of The Chocolate Bar attack. Holding the jukebox puts you at a disadvantage and the partons ultimately get the better of you.\n\nThat's the way the cookie crumbles.

<<set $eggplant to 2>>\nYou jam your claw into the Eggplant Guard and toss the pile of pulp on the ground. The Eggplant Guard falls to his knees, dying.\n\n"Don't worry." You say to him.\n[["I'm sure you'll get a purple heart."]]

Muffin Man glares at you. "You're thinking too hard about this. [[Do you want a rocket-claw|superclaw]] or [[not|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]?"

<<if $heropop is 2>>"Oh my god!" Dum-Dum exclaims. "You didn't explain your one-liner!"\n\n[[You both high five.]]<<endif>><<if $herodot is 2>>"Oh my god!" Dot exclaims. "You didn't explain your one-liner!"\n\n[[You both high five.]]<<endif>><<if $herobunny is 2>>"Oh my god!" Cadbury exclaims. "You didn't explain your one-liner!"\n\n[[You both high five.]]<<endif>>

Which door will you and Dot take?\n\n[[The left door|dotleft]]<<if $future is 2>> with lasers beam overhead<<endif>>\n\n[[The right door|dotright]]<<if $future is 2>> with the walls that push in towards each other<<endif>>

<<if $eggplant is 1>>A large eggplant guard stands in front of the door to the City Hall.<<elseif $eggplant is 3>>An unconscious eggplant lies next to the door, shards of glass next to him.<<else>> A deceased eggplant guard with a massive hole in his eggplanty chest lies next to the door to city hall. <<endif>> <<if $letter is 2>>Nearby lies a recently deceased candy cane.<<endif>><<else>> Nearby lies a recently beaten candy cane.<<if $lollipop is 3>> Dum-Dum is with you.<<endif>><<if $gumdrop is 2>> Dot is with you.<<endif>><<if $bunny is 2>> Cadbury is with you, mourning over his late Candy Cane.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $lollipop is 4>>The body of Dum-Dum the lollipop lies near the entrance.<<endif>><<if $eggplant is 1>>[[Attack Eggplant Guard]]\n\n[[Speak With Eggplant Guard]]<<else>>\n\n[[Enter Door]]<<endif>>\n\n<<if $letter is not 17>><<if $letter is 2>><<else>>[[Speak To Candy Cane]]<<endif>><<endif>>\n\n[[Leave City|the north exit]]

Which door will you and Dum-Dum take?\n\n[[The left door]]<<if $future is 2>> with lasers beam overhead<<endif>>\n\n[[The right door]]<<if $future is 2>> with the walls that push in towards each other<<endif>>

"It WAS Admiral." the tyrannical artichoke says. "Now it's KING!"\n\nHe fires a strange gun at you, launching a glowing green bullet at you.<<if $superpunch is 2>> You punch the bullet out of the way. "What kind of sick freak are you, King?" you question "Out of all of the people, you chose only the weakest to pray on<<if $bunny is 2>>, like Cadbury and Candy Cane.<<else>>.<<endif>> [[You're just choosing to fight the people who you know won't win if they fight back."]]<<else>>\nIt lands directly in your head. For a moment, it seems to have had no effect. Then your head begins to sprout leaves. Before you know it, you are a head of cabbage unable to resist the King.\n\nThat's the way the cookie crumbles.<<endif>>

The center of the city is guarded by tall fences. <<if $tvs is 1>>The televisions affixed to the skyscrapers bear a busy signal reading "Obey. Conform. Finish Your Plate." The many mouths of the monster that is the city are silent. <<else>> Humongous televisions are affixed on the skyscrapers inside the city boundaries.\nAdmiral Artichoke appears on the televisions.\n"Attention, Citizens!", he booms. "Reports have come in that the fugitive known as The Muffin Man is aiding the Candy Resistance. If any witnesses observe signs of Confectionaries, report it immediately. Guards have been authorized to shoot on sight. Long live Health!"\nThe televisions return to a busy signal reading, "Obey. Conform. Finish Your Plate."\n<<endif>>\n<<set $tvs to 1>><<if $lollipop is 3>> Dum-Dum is with you.<<endif>><<if $gumdrop is 2>> Dot is with you.<<endif>><<if $bunny is 2>> Cadbury is with you.<<endif>>\n\n[[Travel around the city perimeter]]\n\n[[Enter the city]]\n\n[[Return to the Muffin Man's Café|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]

<<if $superclaw is 2>><<set $dragonfruits to 2>>You launch your rocket-claw at the guards. It punches all the way through the face of the first. Grabbing the second guard by the neck you pull him towards you. Your claw reattaches with the guard still in your clutches. \n\n"Hello, Dragonfruit." you say. [["I'm about to spit fire."]]<<elseif $lasereyes is 2>><<set $dragonfruits to 2>>\nYou fire your lasereyes at the guards, slowly walking towards them as they melt.\n"Hello, Dragonfruits." You say ominously. [["I'm about to spit fire."|weak fire]]<<else>>You charge towards the Dragonfruit guards, but the guards show no mercy. Their rifles at the ready, they fire at you sending chunks of gingerbread flying everywhere.\n\nThat's the way the cookie crumbles.<<endif>>

You are in [[the Muffin Man]]'s Café.\n\n<<if $future is 2>><<else>><<if $ear is 2>>[["Muffin, could you build me some new tech out of this guard's earpiece?"|futuresight]]<<endif>><<endif>><<if $lasereyes is 2>><<else>><<if $boombox is 1>>[["Muffin, could you build me some new tech out of this boombox?"]]<<endif>><<endif>><<if $superclaw is 2>><<else>><<if $JUKEBOX is 2>>[["Muffin, could you build me some new tech out of this jukebox?"]]<<endif>><<endif>><<if $superpunch is 2>><<else>><<if $tv is 2>>[["Muffin, could you build me some new tech out of this tv?"|bitchpower]]<<endif>><<endif>>\n<<if $lollipop is 3>> Dum-Dum is with you.<<endif>><<if $gumdrop is 2>> Dot is with you.<<endif>><<if $bunny is 2>> Cadbury is with you.<<endif>>\nYou can take [[the north exit]] towards City Hall or [[the south exit]] towards the Gumdrop Slums.

<<set $eggplant to 1>><<set $lollipop to 1>><<set $boombox to 2>><<set $gumdrop to 1>><<set $ear to 1>><<set $lonely to 1>><<set $finaltext to 1>><<set $bunny to 1>>This game was made in protest of King.com's attempts to copyright the words "Candy" and "Saga". Created for [[The Candy Jam.|http://itch.io/jam/candyjam]]\n\n[[Continue]]

"I ain't got nothin' to say to you." The bunny growls.\n\n<<if $letter is 2>>[[Offer him the Candy Cane's letter]]<<endif>>\n<<if $lollipop is 3>>"That's a double negative." Dum-Dum adds.\n\n"I ain't got no clue what that is."\n\n"You just did it again." Dum-Dum says with disdain.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $lollipop is 1>>In a back alley nearby, [[there is a lollipop in a trenchcoat]].<<else if $lollipop is 2>>The broken lollipop lies in a nearby alley.<<endif>>\n\n[[The Chocolate Bar]] is closed.\n\n[[Return to the Muffin Man's.|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]

<<set $eyesboom to 2>>You fire your lasers at King, but two lasers fly out of King's eyes as well. After firing for so long, always missing each other, [[both you and King's laser eyes run out of juice.|And we're taking it back."]]\n<<if $finaltext is 3>>"Looks like we're not so different after all." King says.\n\n"Ugh," you groan. "That is the most clichéd possible thing you could say. You really do steal all of your ideas from other people<<set $finale to 2>>."<<endif>>\n<<if $finaltext is 2>>"Wait a minute. You didn't come up with those cybernetic enhancements yourself!" You yell. "Those are just my cybernetic enhancements with lasy rebranding!"\n\nKing laughs.\n\n"I could sue you for that, you know." you yell. \n\n"And if you do," King responds "I'll win. I'm filthy rich!"<<set $finaltext to 3>><<endif>>\n<<if $finaltext is 1>>"What just happened?" you ask. \n\nKing laughs. "I made myself some cybernetic enhancements of my own."<<set $finaltext to 2>><<endif>>\n

"Sure, I'm thinking I could improve your claw so that it can be shoot out like a rocket before returning to your hand."\n\n[["That sounds awesome."|superclaw]]\n[["Maybe later."|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]\n[["How could you make that out of a jukebox?"]]

As you enter the corridor, a laser beam fires directly into your face, killing you instantly. On the bright side, the bite missing from Dot means that she survived.\n\nThat's the way the cookie crumbles.

You climb into the hallowed out back of Cadbury, who quietly and effectively [[jumps to the top of the staircase.|make your way up the stairs.]]

As you enter the corridor, a laser beam fires directly into your face, killing you instantly. On the bright side, the bites missing from Cadbury means that he survived.\n\nThat's the way the cookie crumbles.

You enter the main room of City Hall. <<if $column is not 2>>Two extremely buff looking dragonfruit guards<<if $dragonfruits is 2>> are splattered all over the room. \n\n[[Leave City Hall|Enter the city]]\n\n[[Climb the stairs]]\n<<if $ear is 1>>One the the guard's [[earpieces]] is on the floor.<<endif>>\n<<else>> wearing heavy armor are stationed at the large marble staircase in the center of the room. You hide behind [[a large ornate column.]]\n\n[[Attack the Dragonfruit Guards]]\n\n[[Leave City Hall|Enter the city]]<<endif>>\n\n<<if $bunny is 2>>Cadury suggests that you could ride in his hallowed-out back [[and he could jump up to the top of the staircase.]]<<endif>>\n\n<<else>>A large ornate column has fallen on top of the Dragonfruits guarding the stairs.\n\n[[Leave City Hall|Enter the city]]\n\n[[Climb the stairs]]\n<<if $ear is 1>>One the the guard's [[earpieces]] is on the floor.\n\n<<endif>>\n\n<<endif>>

<<if $superpunch is 2>> You lean against the column to hide, but the sheer power of your reinforced left fist knocks over the column crushing the Dragonfruit guards beneath it.\n\n<<set $column to 2>>[[Satisfied by your work,|Enter Door]] you brush your hands together, but quickly stop after realizing that the force of your self-congratulatory motion has the power to destroy small countries.<<else>>Spying from behind the column, you realize that although the Dragonfruit Guards are quite strong, they may be carrying some new technology you could use.<<if $lasereyes is not 2>> You may not be able to defeat them.<<endif>> You may want to <<if $bunny is 2>>[[take Cadbury up on his offer of a ride.|and he could jump up to the top of the staircase.]]<<else>>avoid fighting them altogether.<<endif>>\n[[Attack the Dragonfruit Guards]]\n\n[[Leave City Hall|Enter the city]]<<endif>>

You fire your claw and it comes back holding the televison.<<set $tv to 2>> More tech for the Muffin Man. [[Rebellion is easy.|Travel around the city perimeter]]

<<set $finale to 1>>"All that us Candies wanted to do was bring joy to the people of the world." you yell. "You just wanted to piggyback on what we gave you for your own personal gain. We're sick of it. [[And we're taking it back."]]

You enter the bar. Its chocolate interior does nothing to make the nature of the patrons any more palatable.\n\nThe bar is filled with all manner of gruff, disgruntled candies. Half-eaten chocolate bunnies, stale candy corn, truffles that looked like they'd have been good but when bitten into there was some kind of gross filling that ruined the whole thing, and other discarded candies sit around in the bar. It's a seedy place, [[but there are bound to be at least a few candies here who would be sympathetic to your cause if you asked.]]<<if $lollipop is 3>> Dum-Dum comes in with you. The reaction he garners from the patrons makes it clear that he is a regular.<<endif>>\n\nA nearby jukebox may offer some helpful tech if [[you stole it]], but the patrons are not likely to want to part with it.\n\n[[Leave the bar|the south exit]]

Turning sideways, you and Dum-Dum are flat enough to remain unaffected by the walls closing in.\n\n<<if $gumdrop is 2>>Dot<<if $bunny is 2>> and Cadbury's bites taken out of them allowed them to successfully avoid the lasers.<<else>>'s missing bite prevented her from being injured by the lasers.<<endif>><<endif>>\n\nIn front of you is the grand entrance to the main office. If the Health Empire's leader is in the building, [[he's behind this door.]]

"Hey, I'm just one muffin, man. There's only so much I can do."\n\n[[Thanks, Muffin.|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]\n\n[[Anything else?|"Got any advice, Muffin?"]]

"Breadman!" The Muffin Man warns. "Your cyber-parts should give you an advantage in destroying the Health Empire, but don't get too cocky."\n\n(It should be noted that the Muffin Man is a talking muffin with eyes wearing a chef's hat, rather than a human who bakes muffins.)\n\n"I'll be here if you find any technology that you want adapted into new body parts for you." Muffin Man says.\n\nYou respond:\n[["Your faith was well placed, Muffin. The candy rebellion will succeed."|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]\n\n[["Got any advice, Muffin?"]]

You kick down the door and see a ominous yet familiar sight.\n\nAdmiral Artichoke, wearing his eyepatch to hide the injury he sustained in the war, looks at you with a devious smile on his face. "Ginger Breadman!" he says. "I didn't think you would take so long."\n\nYou stare him down. "I didn't think you'd be so overly confident when I got here, [[Admiral Artichoke."]]

Which door will you and Dot take?\n\n[[The left door|bunnyleft]]<<if $future is 2>> with lasers beam overhead<<endif>>\n\n[[The right door|bunnyright]]<<if $future is 2>> with the walls that push in towards each other<<endif>>

You hand the half-eaten chocolate bunny his late husband's letter.\n\nYou tell the bunny, "The last thing Candy Cane said was ' <<print either("The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.", "If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.","They misunderestimated me.","It takes two to make an accident.","The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.","I hope life treats you kind/And I hope you have all you've dreamed of/And I wish you joy and happiness/But above all this I wish you love/And I... will always love you/I will always love you/I will always love you/I will always love you","An old silent pond/A frog jumps into the pond/splash! Silence again.","She should have died hereafter; There would have been a time for such a word. To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last syllable of recorded time, And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.","A man chooses, a slave obeys","Do or do not. There is no try.","It's a dog eat dog world","It's raining cats and dogs out there.","Winter is coming.","After all we've been through. Everything that I've done. It can't be for nothing.","I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country.")>>'."\n\nYou stand there momentarily worrying that, despite it sounding pretty cool, the bunny will know that somebody else said that.\n\nInstead, he looks at you. "Are you still looking for folks to join your rebellion?"\n\nYou smile. "Always."\n\nYou shake hands. <<set $bunny to 2>><<set $letter to 17>>"Cadybury." the bunny says. [["The name's Cadbury."|the south exit]]

<<set $JUKEBOX to 2>>You rip the jukebox from the floor. [[More tech for the Muffin Man to work with could never be a bad thing.|the south exit]]

"It's called a rebellion, not One-Badass-Cyborg-Gingerbread-Man-On-A-Sociopathic-Killing-Spree. Even though that is cool. See if you can find some people who are willing to join you on the battlefield. Power to the Pastries!"\n\n[[Thanks, Muffin. Good call.|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]\n\n[[Anything else?]]

As you enter the corridor, a laser beam fires directly into your face, killing you instantly.\n\nThat's the way the cookie crumbles.

//The End//\n//A Game By Brian Elliott//\n//2014//

You turn off the boombox and add take it. <<set $boombox to 1>>\n\n[[The Muffin Man|the south exit]] might be able to build you something with it.

Turning sideways, you are flat enough to remain unaffected by the walls closing in. Dot was less lucky and was squished by the walls<<set $gumdrop to 5>>.\n\n<<if $bunny is 2>>The bites taken out of Cadbury allowed him to successfully avoid the lasers.<<if $lollipop is 2>>However, Dum-Dum was hit directly in the face by a laser beam, killing you instantly.<<set $lollipop to 5>><<endif>><<endif>>\n\nIn front of you is the grand entrance to the main office. If the Health Empire's leader is in the building, [[he's behind this door.]]

<<if $heropop is 2>>Dum-Dum punches King in the face.<<endif>><<if $herodot is 2>>Dot punches King in the face.<<endif>><<if $herobunny is 2>>Cadbury punches King in the face.<<endif>>\n\n"There's one big flaw with copying everything other people do, King." you say. "You'll never do anything we can't see coming."\n\n<<if $heropop is 2>>Dum-Dum opens the window, preparing to throw King out of it.\n\n"You can't do this to me!" King yells. "I created you! Well, I didn't create you. But I recreated you for my own purposes! And if I'm more successful with my recreation, don't I deserve to be the victor?"\n\n"Yes." you admit. "But not if anybody finds out about. If anybody finds out about the things you do, then there'll be Hell to pay."\n\nDum-Dum throws King out the window of the top story, sending him crashing into the ground below. "Ladies and Gentlemen," you say, [["The King has left the building."]]<<endif>><<if $herodot is 2>>Dot opens the window, preparing to throw King out of it.\n\n"You can't do this to me!" King yells. "I created you! Well, I didn't create you. But I recreated you for my own purposes! And if I'm more successful with my recreation, don't I deserve to be the victor?"\n\n"Yes." you admit. "But not if anybody finds out about. If anybody finds out about the things you do, then there'll be Hell to pay."\n\nDot throws King out the window of the top story, sending him crashing into the ground below. "Ladies and Gentlemen," you say, [["The King has left the building."]]<<endif>><<if $herobunny is 2>>Cadbury opens the window, preparing to throw King out of it.\n\n"You can't do this to me!" King yells. "I created you! Well, I didn't create you. But I recreated you for my own purposes! And if I'm more successful with my recreation, don't I deserve to be the victor?"\n\n"Yes." you admit. "But not if anybody finds out about. If anybody finds out about the things you do, then there'll be Hell to pay."\n\nCadbury throws King out the window of the top story, sending him crashing into the ground below. "Ladies and Gentlemen," you say, [["The King has left the building."]]<<endif>>

"Because eggplants are purple." You elaborate. "And the Purple Heart Award is given to soldiers who are wounded or killed while serving."\n\n[["Yeah, I got it." The Eggplant Guard says, dying.|Enter the city]]

"Listen up!" You call, heads turning towards you. "Who among you will join the Candy Rebellion! We've been opressed by health for too long!"\n\n"What'd you say about health?" a drunken voice calls out from behind the bar. From beneath a pile of bottles, a Candied Apple appears. "You think any of these people are gonna help out your stupid rebellion?" he hiccups. "Those health freaks are too strong. Look what they did to be! I'm a monster!"\n\nIn a drunken fury, he charges towards you ready for a fight.<<if $lasereyes is 2>> You fire your laser eyes at the Candy Apple, melting his sugary layer and roasting the Apple underneath. The other patrons look on in awe.\n\n[["Looks like that guy was rotten to the core."|"Looks like that guy was bad to the core."]]<<else>> You thrust your claw towards him to attack, but it is caught in the sticky layer of sugar and corn syrup. With the extra leverage, the Candy Apple rips off your robotic claw. He smashes you into tiny gingerbread pieces.\n\nThat's the way the cookie crumbles.<<endif>>

<<if $finale is 2>>Dot charges towards King. King reaches for his gun but quickly realizes that, as a result of the battle, he now has no hands.<<set $herodot to 2>> [["Uh oh."]] he says, right before Dot punches him in the face.<<else>><<set $gumdrop to 100>>Dot charges towards King. <<if $boomfist is not 2>>King fires his strange gun at Dot. She falls to the ground and quickly morphs into a grape. [[King kicks her out of the way.|And we're taking it back."]]<<elseif $eyesboom is not 2>>King fires his strange gun at Dot. She falls to the ground and quickly morphs into a grape. [[King kicks her out of the way.|And we're taking it back."]]<<elseif $punchboom is not 2>>King fires his strange gun at Dot. She falls to the ground and quickly morphs into a a grape. [[King kicks her out of the way.|And we're taking it back."]]<<endif>><<endif>>

"Sure, I'm thinking I could make your cybernetic eyes shoot laser beams."\n\n[["That sounds awesome."|laser eyes]]\n[["Maybe later."|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]\n[["How could you make that out of a boom box?"]]

The lollipop looks at the letter. "Not for me." he says, handing it back.\n\n[["Just as well." you say." I still have to think of something cool to pretend were his last words."|the south exit]]

"Hi," you say. "We would like to enter this heavily-guarded fortress so that we can assassinate the dictator inside."\n\nThe Eggplant Guard looks at you, dumbfounded. "What?"\n\n<<if $gumdrop is 2>>Dot smashes a bottle of peppermint schnapps over the guard's head, knocking him unconscious.<<set $eggplant to 3>> [["Nice distraction, Ginger.", she compliments.|Enter the city]]<<else>>"We would like to enter this heavily-guarded fortress so that we can assassinate the dictator inside. Could this be arranged?"\n\n"N-No!" the guard stammers. "Why in the world would I let you in to do that?"\n\n"It seemed unlikely." You say. "I was hoping you might just appreciate my honesty and let me in. [[Because since you didn't I now have to beat the potassium out of you."|Attack Eggplant Guard]]<<endif>>

<<set $ear to 2>>You grab the earpiece. [[Get to Muffin's. Get this party started.|Enter Door]]

"Because the guard's earpieces gave them access to the layout of the fortress on their PDAs. The earpieces contain enough data for me to reverse-engineer a similar device for your cybernetic eyes, allowing you to gain access to the map of the fortress."\n\n"Oh." you concede. "That actually makes a lot of sense."\n\n"Of course it makes sense. I wouldn't do something if it didn't make sense." says the talking muffin in a chef's hat. "[[Now do want to keep questioning the man who was smart enough to save you from a near-death experience by turning you into a cyborg|Anything else??]] or [[do you want me to reprogram you with a greater awareness of the layout of the enemy fortress?|future]]

Behind you, a reinforced metal door suddenly shuts behind you. There's no chance of breaking it down.\n\nTwo passageways are in front of you.<<if $future is 2>> Your tech upgrades tell you that the passageway to the left has a trap. A laser beam will shoot across the top of that passageway. But the passage on the right isn't much better. The right passage has a trap where the walls of the passage push in towards each other.<<endif>> There is only room for two people to go down a hallway at a time.\n\n<<if $lonely is 1>>[[Go down left corridor]]\n\n[[Go down right corridor]]<<else>>\n\nChoose which of your friends will travel down the same corridor as you.\n\n<<if $lollipop is 3>>[[Choose Dum-Dum as partner]]<<endif>>\n\n<<if $gumdrop is 2>>[[Choose Dot as partner]]<<endif>>\n\n<<if $bunny is 2>>[[Choose Cadbury as partner]]<<endif>>\n\n<<endif>>

<<set $lollipop to 2>>\nYou smash your robotic claw through the lollipop's trenchcoat smashing his stick in half.\n\n"You crazy sociopath!" The lollipop yells. "I was going to help you!"\n\n[["Well, looks like you're a real sucker."]]

<<set $lasereyes to 2>>\nOne brief operation later, the Muffin Man throws a plate into the air. You give it a sideways glance, and the plate melts into a puddle before it hits the floor.\n\n[["Groovy."|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]

Dot unlocks the bar for you. It's just the way it was when you last saw it. <<if $JUKEBOX is 2>>The melted candy apple in the center of the empty room. <<else>>The melted candy apple in the center of the room with [[the jukebox|Take the jukebox]] off to the side.<<endif>>\n\n[[Leave bar|the south exit]]

The year is 2846.\n\nFuture is bleak.\n\nAfter the assassination of President Cinnabon in 2798 by Admiral Artichoke, the shots had been fired.\n\n[[The crushing of candy had begun.]]

Muffin Man glares at you. "You're thinking too hard about this. [[Do you want eyes that shoot laser beams|laser eyes]] or [[not|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]?"

<<if $boomfist is 2>><<else>>[[Attack King with rocket-claw]]<<endif>>\n<<if $eyesboom is 2>><<else>> [[Attack King with laser eyes]]<<endif>>\n<<if $punchboom is 2>><<else>>[[Attack King with super-punch]]<<endif>>\n<<if $lollipop is 3>> Dum-Dum is with you. [[Send Dum-Dum to attack]]<<endif>>\n<<if $gumdrop is 2>> Dot is with you. [[Send Dot to attack]]<<endif>>\n<<if $bunny is 2>> Cadbury is with you. [[Send Cadbury to attack]]<<endif>>\n\n"<<print either("How's your memory, Kid. You really think you can best me?","I'll take you to the edge and back, Ginger.","Read between the lines on the scrolls. You can't win.","You'll end up just like that Apple freak at the Chocolate Bar.","And so the saga ends.")>>"\n\n

"Sure, I'm thinking I could metallically reinforce your left hand, so that your punches are almost as strong as your claw."\n\n[["That sounds awesome."|superpunch]]\n[["Maybe later."|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]\n[["How could you make that out of a tv?"]]

Behind the city, there are a number of large trees. <<if $tv is 2>><<else>>Stuck in the branches of one tree is [[some kind of strange device.]]<<endif>>\n<<if $lollipop is 3>> Dum-Dum is with you.<<endif>><<if $gumdrop is 2>> Dot is with you.<<endif>><<if $bunny is 2>> Cadbury is with you.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue Around The City Perimeter|the north exit]]

<<if visited("How could you make that out of an earpiece?")>>"You're a hard man to work with, Breadman. But you're worth every second of my time."<<endif>>\n<<set $future to 2>>One operation later, you know every flaw in the Healthy's security system at the fortress. And you know that once you climb those stairs in City Hall, you won't be able to turn back until the job is done.\n\n[["Groovy."|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]

"Because in some regions," you elaborate, "lollipops are often known as suckers, and a sucker is a colloquialism for a person who is easily decieved."\n\n"Yeah, thanks." The lollipop says. [["Your explaination of that pun makes you killing me totally okay."|the south exit]]

"Because you're a dragonfruit." You add in explanation. "And dragons breathe fire." [["And fire damages things with heat. Just like the lasers I can shoot from my eyes."|Enter Door]]

[[...]]

<<if $starwars is 2>>You are in the Gumdrop Slums.<<else>>The Gumdrop Slums. You will never find a more delicious hive of scum and villany.<<endif>>\n<<set $starwars to 2>>\n\nA broken window <<if $boombox is 2>>nearby has [[a boombox]] playing in it.<<else if $boombox is 1>> is nearby.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $lollipop is 1>>In a back alley nearby, [[there is a lollipop in a trenchcoat]].<<else if $lollipop is 2>>The broken lollipop lies in a nearby alley.<<else if $lollipop is 3>> Dum-Dum is with you.<<endif>><<if $gumdrop is 2>> Dot is with you.<<endif>><<if $bunny is 2>> Cadbury is with you.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $gumdrop is 2>><<if $bunny is 2>>[[The Chocolate Bar]] is closed.<<else>> [[The Chocolate Bar]] is closed. [[A half-eaten chocolate bunny]] smokes a cigarette, leaning up against the bar.<<endif>><<else>>[[A shady bar]] is nearby.<<endif>>\n\n[[Return to the Muffin Man's.|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]

<<if $finale is 2>>Cadbury charges towards King. King reaches for his gun but quickly realizes that, as a result of the battle, he now has no hands.<<set $herobunny to 2>> [["Uh oh."]] he says, right before Cadbury punches him in the face.<<else>><<set $bunny to 100>>Cadbury charges towards King. <<if $boomfist is not 2>>King fires his strange gun at Cadbury. He falls to the ground and quickly morphs into a raspberry. [[King kicks him out of the way.|And we're taking it back."]]<<elseif $eyesboom is not 2>>King fires his strange gun at Cadbury. He falls to the ground and quickly morphs into a grape. [[King kicks him out of the way.|And we're taking it back."]]<<elseif $punchboom is not 2>>King fires his strange gun at Cadbury. He falls to the ground and quickly morphs into a a raspberry. [[King kicks her out of the way.|And we're taking it back."]]<<endif>><<endif>>

Turning sideways, you are flat enough to remain unaffected by the walls closing in. Cadbury was less lucky and was squished by the walls<<set $bunny to 5>>.\n\n<<if $gumdrop is 2>>The bite taken out of Dot allowed her to successfully avoid the lasers.<<if $lollipop is 2>>However, Dum-Dum was hit directly in the face by a laser beam, killing you instantly.<<set $lollipop to 5>><<endif>><<endif>>\n\nIn front of you is the grand entrance to the main office. If the Health Empire's leader is in the building, [[he's behind this door.]]

<<set $boomfist to 2>>You fire your claw at King. Suddenly, King's right hand flies off. It smashes into your claw, destroying both of them in a [[massive explosion.|And we're taking it back."]]\n<<if $finaltext is 3>>"Looks like we're not so different after all." King says.\n\n"Ugh," you groan. "That is the most clichéd possible thing you could say. You really do steal all of your ideas from other people<<set $finale to 2>>."<<endif>>\n<<if $finaltext is 2>>"Wait a minute. You didn't come up with those cybernetic enhancements yourself!" You yell. "Those are just my cybernetic enhancements with lasy rebranding!"\n\nKing laughs.\n\n"I could sue you for that, you know." you yell. \n\n"And if you do," King responds "I'll win. I'm filthy rich!"<<set $finaltext to 3>><<endif>>\n<<if $finaltext is 1>>"What just happened?" you ask. \n\nKing laughs. "I made myself some cybernetic enhancements of my own."<<set $finaltext to 2>><<endif>>

"If you find any tech, bring it back here. I'm sure I can make something for you with it."\n\n[[Thanks, Muffin. Good call.|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]\n\n[[Anything else?|Anything else??]]

<<if $column is 2>>You smash the column into a thousand pieces and [[make your way up the stairs.]]<<else>>With the guards out of the way, you [[make your way up the stairs.]]<<endif>>

"Sure, I'm thinking I could increase your awareness of the layout of the enemy fortress."\n\n[["That sounds awesome."|future]]\n[["Maybe later."|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]\n[["How could you make that out of an earpiece?"|How could you make that out of an earpiece?]]

"Because 'rotten to the core' is an idiom meaning a person is thoroughly bad or corrupt," you explain. "But since he was a literal apple that had two meanings."\n\n<<if $lollipop is 3>>Dum-Dum looks at you. "You...you can't...G-Ginger, the one-liner loses effect if you explain it. Don't...don't do that anymore."<<endif>>\n"I'm in." says a small voice from behind the counter. A light green gumdrop with a bite taken out of her stands up. "The name's Barkeep Dot. Anyone who could take out that big lug and live is the only hope that candy's got."\n\n<<set $gumdrop to 2>><<set $lonely to 2>>Dot closes down the bar, kicks out the customers, and heads out to wait for you.\n\n[[Head outside|the south exit]]\n\n[[Take the jukebox]]

<<set $superpunch to 2>>One operation later, you walk over to the Muffin Man's door. You give it a mighty swing and not just the door but the entire wall comes crashing down.\n\n[["Groovy."|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]

You kneel down to speak with the Candy Cane. <<if $eggplant is 1>>Your sympathy is, unfortunately, noticed by the eggplant guard. "All those sympathetic to the Candies must be exterminated." he yells, unholstering his firearm. <<if $lollipop is 3>>Dum-Dum jumps in front of you, heroically taking the bullet that would have killed you.<<set $lollipop to 4>> You have no choice but to [[fight the Eggplant Guard|Attack Eggplant Guard]].<<else>> This shot goes all the way through to your cream-filled heart, killing you instantly.\n\nThat's the way the cookie crumbles.<<endif>><<elseif $eggplant is 2>>The Candy Cane coughs. "Take this to my husband in the Gumdrop Slums. "He hands you a piece of paper. [["And tell him I said something cool before I died."|Enter the city]]<<set $letter to 2>><<elseif $eggplant is 3>>The Candy Cane coughs. "Take this to my husband in the Gumdrop Slums." He hands you a piece of paper. [["And tell him I said something cool before I died."|Enter the city]]<<set $letter to 2>><<endif>>

<<set $punchboom to 2>>You charge with your left fist forward. King does the same as well. Your fists collide, both of them breaking in a [[huge explosion.|And we're taking it back."]]\n<<if $finaltext is 3>>"Looks like we're not so different after all." King says.\n\n"Ugh," you groan. "That is the most clichéd possible thing you could say. You really do steal all of your ideas from other people<<set $finale to 2>>."<<endif>>\n<<if $finaltext is 2>>"Wait a minute. You didn't come up with those cybernetic enhancements yourself!" You yell. "Those are just my cybernetic enhancements with lasy rebranding!"\n\nKing laughs.\n\n"I could sue you for that, you know." you yell. \n\n"And if you do," King responds "I'll win. I'm filthy rich!"<<set $finaltext to 3>><<endif>>\n<<if $finaltext is 1>>"What just happened?" you ask. \n\nKing laughs. "I made myself some cybernetic enhancements of my own."<<set $finaltext to 2>><<endif>>

<<if $finale is 2>>Dum-Dum charges towards King. King reaches for his gun but quickly realizes that, as a result of the battle, he now has no hands.<<set $heropop to 2>> [["Uh oh."]] he says, right before Dum-Dum punches him in the face.<<else>><<set $lollipop to 100>>Dum-Dum charges towards King. <<if $boomfist is not 2>>King fires his strange gun at Dum-Dum. He falls to the ground and quickly morphs into a stick of celery. [[King kicks him out of the way.|And we're taking it back."]]<<elseif $eyesboom is not 2>>King fires his strange gun at Dum-Dum. He falls to the ground and quickly morphs into a stick of celery. [[King kicks him out of the way.|And we're taking it back."]]<<elseif $punchboom is not 2>>King fires his strange gun at Dum-Dum. He falls to the ground and quickly morphs into a stick of celery. [[King kicks him out of the way.|And we're taking it back."]]<<endif>><<endif>>

"Then I want in. I was a mayor back when candy was allowed. I want my old life back."\n\n<<set $lollipop to 3>><<set $lonely to 2>>"Then you are in. So what do I call you?" you ask.\n\n"[[Dum-Dum.|the south exit]]" the lollipop says. "Don't ask."

Using your cybernetic eyes, you are able to zoom in and focus on the object. One of the many televisions in the city appears to have fallen off of the skyscrapers in the city. <<if $superclaw is 2>>You should be able to grab it if you [[launch your rocket-claw.]]<<else>>If only you could reach it...<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue Around The City Perimeter|the north exit]]

<<set $superclaw to 2>> One brief operation later, the Muffin Man throws a number of pots and pand into the air. You fire your claw and smash through every one of them. Your claw quickly returns to your hand.\n\n[["Groovy."|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]

"Hey, buddy." The suspiscous lollipop murmurs. "I heard you might be staging some kind of revolution."\n\n<<if $letter is 2>>[[Offer him the Candy Cane's letter|lolliletter]]\n\n<<endif>>[["You heard right."]]\n\n[[Attack the lollipop]]

Turning sideways, you are flat enough to remain unaffected by the walls closing in.\n\nIn front of you is the grand entrance to the main office. If the Health Empire's leader is in the building, [[he's behind this door.]]

Muffin Man glares at you. "You're thinking too hard about this. [[Do you want a superpunch|superpunch]] or [[not|your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]?"

"Because you're a dragonfruit." You add in explanation. "And dragons breathe fire." You shoot your laser eyes at the guard, melting him.\n\n[["And fire damages things with heat. Just like the lasers I can shoot from my eyes."|Enter Door]]\n\n"Do you do that a lot?" Dot asks.

After the Healthies gained control of the planet, simply being delicious became punishable by death.\n\nThe few Confectionaries with the bravery to walk on the street were attacked quickly. This is where you came in.\n\nYou are Ginger Breadman. After losing your right arm and the frosting that formed your eyes, you were operated upon by your colleague The Muffin Man.\n\nReplacing your arm with a robotic claw and installing two cybernetic eyes, [[your mission is to exterminate the Healthy leadership and aid the candy resistance however possible.]]

As you enter the corridor, a laser beam fires directly into your face, killing you instantly, and Dum-Dum almost immediately afterwards.\n\nThat's the way the cookie crumbles.