Note

Please note, this script is meant to portray the tone,

mood, and style of Henry Phillip's online show,

"Highway Man". The script may seem cheesy, drab, or

ridiculous; although, "Highway Man" is meant to be a

quirky, witty, and familiar show you might have seen in

the 80's or mid 90's.

-------------------------------------------------------

Thank you and enjoy!

CUT TO:

EXT. PARK - DAY

Ominous/Jazz Noir music cues.

It's a lovely day; everything seems so calm and normal;

however, Highway Man is irked by someone talking to a young

couple.

Highway Man hides behind a tree, takes cover next to a bush,

and peers his eyes through his sunglasses as he carefully

studies the group of people.

Across from Highway Man is an amiable-casual looking guy in

his 60's. His facial hair and scruff resembles a

Hollywoodian cowboy; his laughter is rich and warm. The guy

is delightfully greeting the excited young couple; they are

tourists with questions about the area and park around him.

Highway Man thinks to himself as he discretely blends into

the environment.

HIGHWAY MAN (V.O)

Oh me oh my, who is this guy? I've

seen him near and afar. I wonder,

did he drive the bus or ride his

car? Shit, I fucked that up.

HIGHWAY MAN (V.O)

He looks nice and the couple

suggest they are interested in what

the man has to say, but there's

something wrong. What's his game?

As the stranger talks to the young couple, he notices

Highway Man leaning on a table, staring directly at him with

suspicion. The guy continues talking to the couple and then

again sees Highway Man concentrating on him. The guy

affectionately waves to him. Highway Man is suddenly

flipping a quarter, pretending he doesn't see the unfamiliar

guy. Confused, the guy continues his conversation and then

turns to face Highway Man once more; however, Highway Man is

gone. The kind fellow aka "Backstreets Guy" looks around but

Highway Man is nowhere to be found.

BOYFRIEND

Is everything alright?

GIRLFRIEND

Yeah, you seem distracted.

BACKSTREETS GUY

Oh, I'm fine. I just thought I saw

something.

The group continues their conversation until it's disrupted

by Highway Man failing to covertly roll and spin like a

secret agent directly behind the couple.

Highway Man, now compromised by the couple staring at him in

shock and discomfort, tries to walk it off real smooth and

casual. At the same time, Backstreets Guy is happy to see

another potential acquaintance at the park.

BACKSTREETS GUY

(thoughtfully)

Can we help you?

Highway Man turns around abruptly.

HIGHWAY MAN

I'm sorry, are you talking to me?

BACKSTREETS GUY

Yes, friend. Do you need anything?

HIGHWAY MAN

I could use some privacy.

The couple turn to each other in a puzzling manner.

BACKSTREETS GUY

Well, if you ever need anything

know I am always here for you. They

call me "Backstreets Guy".

Backstreets Guy offers his hand to Highway Man.

HIGHWAY MAN

They? Who's they?

BACKSTREETS GUY

The people.

HIGHWAY MAN

Sure, bud. You know, the people

gave me a name too, "Highway Man".

Highway Man dismisses the handshake; Backstreets Guy slowly

drops his arm.

GIRLFRIEND

I've never heard of the "Highway

Man".

HIGHWAY MAN

And I've never heard of Clueless

Girl or her sidekick...Tall Young

Adult.

BOYFRIEND

Why are you bringing me into this?

BACKSTREETS GUY

Everyone, let's take a deep breath

and be grateful for this moment.

HIGHWAY MAN

Breathing is for the weak, like

yourself.

Backstreets Guy and the couple take a deep breath and feel

rejuvenated.

GIRLFRIEND

Thanks, Backstreets Guy. You always

know how to find the silver

linings.

HIGHWAY MAN

Silver Linings was my father's

name.

BOYFRIEND

Take care, Backstreets Guy.

The couple blissfully walk away; Highway Man shouts in their

direction.

HIGHWAY MAN

You both should leave quickly,

things might get ugly.

BACKSTREETS GUY

(perplexed)

Is something about to happen?

Highway man turns to face away from Backstreets Guy.

HIGHWAY MAN

I knew a day like this would come.

I never thought it would happen in

my lifetime. Could be a mole,

double agent, or even Russian

intelligence.

BACKSTREETS GUY

I'm sorry, are you talking to

yourself? Because, you're a little

loud and I don't want to eavesdrop.

HIGHWAY MAN

You're clever "Backstreets Guy", if

that's even your real name.

BACKSTREETS GUY

I left my ID at home but I have

this gift card-

Action music cues.

HIGHWAY MAN

(fiercely)

Recess is over; it's time to stop

playing around.

Highway Man quickly wheels around and lunges at Backstreets

Guy; Highway Man's back problems aggravate him and he

immediately cushions his back with his hands.

BACKSTREETS GUY

Are you okay?

HIGHWAY MAN

Yeah, I got this thing with my

back. I think I just need to stop

having climatic brawls with my

enemies, or at least stretch first.

BACKSTREETS GUY

You know I used to be a pilates

instructor, I can take a look-

Backstreets Guy gestures to help Highway Man but Highway Man

backs off.

HIGHWAY MAN

(supporting his back)

Striking me when I'm defenseless is

a dishonor, even for a punk like

yourself.

BACKSTREETS GUY

I am only trying to help, what

could be so harmful about that?

HIGHWAY MAN

BECAUSE I do the helping around

here! I'm a civil servant; a local

legend who doesn't ask for praise;

a celebrity who needs not flash nor

photography.

Highway Man briefly coos and utters in pain.

BACKSTREETS GUY

I get it, this is your life's work;

You want to make sure this

community gets the help and support

it needs and deserves-

Highway Man coos slightly louder.

BACKSTREETS GUY

Are you sure you don't want me to

help massage or alleviate your

lower back-

HIGHWAY MAN

I'm good man. AH! FUCK.

BACKSTREETS GUY

Jeez, you're cutting me off more

than the person driving the

Hyundai Elantra on my way here.

HIGHWAY MAN

I drive a Hyundai Elantra.

Backstreets Guy and Highway Man avoid eye contact and take a

beat.

BACKSTREETS GUY

I admire you, but these...sour

feelings you have towards me are

unwarranted. I'm just a drifter,

Highway Man.

Highway Man takes a deep breath.

HIGHWAY MAN

Forgive me for my resentment, I may

have gotten carried away. When I

saw you helping that couple, I

couldn't help but think I could do

a better job. I mean no harm but

there's plenty of foul to go around

if you ever cross me, Backstreets

Guy.

BACKSTREETS GUY

(chuckling)

I can't really cross you if I'm

always taking the backstreets.

HIGHWAY MAN

At some point in life, we all have

to get on the freeway.

BACKSTREETS GUY

Maybe one day we can carpool.

HIGHWAY MAN

Fuck off.

BACKSTREETS GUY

Come on, take it easy comrade.

HIGHWAY MAN

I'm sorry, I forgot my manners.

Please, fuck off.

BACKSTREETS GUY

(optimistically)

Your wish is my command.

Backsteets Guy calmly bows in appreciation and begins to

walk back to his car.

HIGHWAY MAN

What is this nonsense? Backstreets

Guy? What's next, Dirt Road Dude? I

mean, it is proven the highway is

safer anyway.

The Highway Man starts to walk around the park.

Peaceful and calm music cues.

NARRATOR (V.O)

And so ends the quarrel of

Backstreets Guy and Highway Man.

Rival by choice, Highway Man learns

he may not trust or even like the

other heroes or newcomers in his

town, but he must learn to get

along.

CUT TO:

EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY

Backstreets guy walks by a Hyundai Elantra and shakes his

head.

NARRATOR (V.O)

Backstreets guy continues his

journey, one traffic light at a

time; enjoying the Estimated Time

of Arrival, not the destination.

Backstreets guy enters his car and rolls down the windows.

He takes a call.

Cue suspenseful music.

BACKSTREETS GUY

Hello, Operator? Operation:

FAVORITE JEW has been compromised.

I repeat, OPERATION: FAVORITE JEW

HAS BEEN COMPROMISED.

NARRATOR (V.O)

What? Okay, Was nobody gonna tell

me about this?

Backstreets Guy realizes his car won't start.

BACKSTREETS GUY

DAMN! I need a new evac zone.

Backstreets Guy, in distress, plays the Russian National

Anthem on his phone to calm himself.

NARRATOR (V.O)

Oh my.

Triumphant music cues.

All of a sudden, Highway Man executes a perfect-clean roll

atop of the hood of Backstreet Guys car.

NARRATOR (V.O)

(cheering)

I can't believe it! It's Highway

Man.

HIGHWAY MAN

Yes! That was for you, America.

BACKSTREETS GUY

(annoyed)

I'm surprised you didn't break your

hip.

HIGHWAY MAN

It's all about technique

Backstreets Guy, which you lack. If

the people have a name for you,

it's Sloppy Joe.

BACKSTREETS GUY

How did you even figure out I was a

Russian Operative?

HIGHWAY MAN

It wasn't too hard...comrade.

BACKSTREETS GUY

Uh! HQ won't be happy about this.

HIGHWAY MAN

Once I turn you into the

authorities, you'll be living life

in the slow lane...Sloppy Joe.

BACKSTREETS GUY

That won't catch on.

HIGHWAY MAN

Maybe...Maybe...Sloppy-

Backstreets Guy honks his horn in frustration.

THE END: