purgatory

In bed, but somehow not 'in bed' enough, you find yourself awake. You feel a soft pain behind your eyes. (link:"Look at the clock.")[You lift your heavy head and squint at the display. There are about two hours before you have to get up.] [[Roll over.->First Roll Over]]

You roll over. Daylight glares at you from outside the window. A sinking feeling grows in your stomach. [[Roll over (again).->Second Roll Over]]

You're now facing the clock. (link:"Look at the clock.")[You have about an hour and a half left here, pushing it. You recall something you've read, that humans sleep best in multiples of an hour-and-a-half. That means you need to be asleep in the next minute or two or else you'll feel bad waking up later. ] [[Drink some water.->First Water Drink]]

You reach up for the glass, and take a good sip. It's warmer now than when you poured it, but not yet stale. Your face relaxes a little, and you feel refreshed. [[Maybe things will be okay today.->Optimism]] [[Look at the clock again. -> Anxiety]]

I bet today will be a quiet day at work; it's getting warmer after all. Although it is a Monday. You can have a nice breakfast and actually take a good break for lunch. And I think your rollerskates are arriving today. [[Think about breakfast.->Breakfast Dream]] [[Think about rollerskating.->Rollerskating Dream]]

The water has refreshed you and you feel more aware. Faint nausea and a headache fill the space, reminding you that you have an hour and twenty-five minutes until work. [[Reach for your phone. -> Bad Decisions]] [[Reach to open the window. -> Good Decisions]]

Your phone is out of batteries. [[Reach to open the window. -> Good Decisions]] [[Think about breakfast.->Breakfast Dream]] [[Think about rollerskating.->Rollerskating Dream]]

You let some of the cold air flow in. You feel even more awake, and realise it's a nice day outside. You see a cat. [[Lie back. ->Lie Back]] [[Get out of bed.->Out of bed]]

The warm duvet envelops you as you sink into thoughts of breakfast. [[Muesli->Muesli]] [[Coco Pops->CocoPops]] [[Beans on toast->BeansOnToast]] [[Bacon and eggs->BaconAndEggs]] (set: $Dreaming to true)

You drift away while your arms warm up again, underneath the duvet. You imagine yourself closing the door behind you as you exit your house. A feeling of freedom, space and enjoyment fills you. You take off, gliding past windows and chimneys, as the world below you shimmers in the sunlight. You join friends at a party and are no longer wearing skates. Instead, you all [[float inches above->end of dream]] the ground.

You lie back but you can still see the cat downstairs. Now on the ground, it walks slowly towards a table, and hops on top of it. It looks to the sky, angles its head upwards and drinks from a cloud. Now many miles tall, the cat leaps off the earth in slow motion, and catches the moon [[in its paws.->end of dream]]

You walk to your kitchen, hoping no one else is awake. [[Muesli->Muesli]] [[Coco Pops->CocoPops]] [[Beans on toast->BeansOnToast]] [[Bacon and eggs->BaconAndEggs]] (set: $Dreaming to false)

You turn the tap and the shower eagerly bursts into action. Your already-puffy eyes do not appreciate the steam but the water feels amazing on your shoulders and back. You slowly and gently wash your body. [[Go have breakfast. ->Breakfast]] [[Sit down before work and log in early. -> Early Login]]

You pull the door shut behind you and see the sky. You are taken aback; the world has never looked so beautiful. You remember what's waiting for you at your desk, and then choose to let the memory go; maybe just for now, maybe forever. [[The End. ->The End]]

You find yourself in the kitchen eating soft spoonfuls of muesli. You savour every texture, every different moment of taste and nourishment. You wash up after yourself as the sun streams (if:$Dreaming is true)[[[through the window->end of dream]]](else:)[[[through the window->after breakfast]]] onto your face.

As your milk drink of choice thunders into the bowl, sweeping the coco pops up, you place your ear to the cold bowl. You hear the a symphony of crackles as the milk turns a beautiful pinkish brown. You eat them all before (if:$Dreaming is true)[[[a single one->end of dream]]](else:)[[[a single one->after breakfast]]] becomes soggy.

You turn on the stove and prise open a can of brand new beans. The can now upside down, the thick liquid pours out and you dislodge the final few beans with a knife. The pot is small and looks full. You cut two pieces of extra-crusty bread to be squeezed into your toaster. You gaze out the window until the smell of the bread's singed edges prompts you. Eating beans on toast is (if:$Dreaming is true)[[[never quite as good->end of dream]]](else:)[[[never quite as good->after breakfast]]] as cooking it.

The soft fatty edge of the bacon touches the solid, shimmering cast iron of the pan. The sizzle fills the air; you feel intoxicated. After bathing in the smog for a few minutes you take the eggs and crack two. The pan is hot and heavy and the eggs set almost immediately. As you baste them in the fat, feeding them, the edges turn tough and brown. The orange yolks spill over the bacon and thicken as you herd them onto a warm plate. Washing up feels like (if:$Dreaming is true)[[[the morning after.->end of dream]]](else:)[[[the morning after.->after breakfast]]]

As you dream, a sunbeam trickles through your curtains and traces your cheek. It inches closer to the corner of your eye. You feel its warmth before you see anything, and your consciousness returns. Try as you might, you cannot remember what day of the week it is. You search your mind, grasping for memories, for a handle on reality. You reach out your arm, uncoordinated, and spill your cup of water onto the floor. [[The End.->The End]]

No matter what time you start eating breakfast, by the time you're finished, you always seem to be late for work. You throw on some work clothes and turn on your computer, praying for a quiet day. [[The End.->The End]]

Thank you for playing. By Nathan Beardsworth Twitter @hallwayy_ hallwayy.itch.io [[Play Again->Awakenment]]

Your computer, still plugged in, awakens with a whir and a hum. Its warmth and its glow would be comforting in another situation. The breeze from the window feels cold on your still-wet shoulders as you brace yourself for what will pop up. [[The End.->The End]]

[[Think about the cat. -> Cat Dream]] [[Think about what you'll have for breakfast. ->Breakfast Dream]]

[[Have breakfast. ->Breakfast]] [[Have a shower. -> Shower]] [[Leave the house for some fresh air. -> Fresh Air]]