Kerr Meaningful Choices

Welcome to [[Miles, TX!->2. Miles, TX]] My name is Rose Marie and I'm not your ordinary small town, country girl...

Miles might not seem like much to most people, but to me it is home. Miles is (link-reveal:"...")[... early mornings watching the sunrise from the cotton (link-reveal:"field,")[slow drives down dirt roads with the windows rolled (link-reveal:"down,")[ waving at everyone you pass on the (link-reveal:"road, ")[ a community that is always there to care for and support (link-reveal:"you.")[ This might sound like any other small West Texas town, but like I said I'm not your typical small town girl and exciting things can happen in small towns too[[...->3. Every Day]]]]]]] <img src="town.jpg">

We moved to a town that was bigger than Miles but definitely not a BIG city and not more than an hour drive from (link-reveal:"Miles.")[ I was happy becasue we were still close to my home, and Austin was able to find more places to play at and make connections in the music [[industry.->30. Ever since then]]] <img src="heart.jpg">

Yes, I live on a farm in a small town in West (link-reveal:"Texas.")[ Yes, I check the chicken coop for eggs every (link-reveal:"morning.")[ Yes, I check on the cows with my dad every (link-reveal:"day.")[ Yes, I know how to drive a tractor... but I'm not allowed to because I ran into the same tree one too many (link-reveal:"times.")[ However, none of this means my life is boring...[[...->4. Unique Ability (Every Day)]]]]]] <img src="town.jpg">

Ever since I can remember, I have experienced these strong emotional desires every time I interact with another person[[...->27. Unique Ability Cont.]]

He was on his way to the big city, a place I never imagined myself desiring [[to go to.->6. Austin (Music)]]

I ran into him at the one and only local bar, The Catch Pen, on Friday during (link-reveal:"live music night. ")[ He caught my eye not only because he was an out of towner but because of how intensly he seemed to be listening to the band that was (link-reveal:"playing.")[ As I watched him I began to be enchanted by the music. I felt as if I could see the musical notes and lyrics floating in the air. Everything else in the room disapeared as I was drawn deeper and deeper into the (link-reveal:"music.")[ Maybe you can help me with this next part: Out of the corner of my eye I see Austin [[walking my way.->8. Walking my way]] I snapped out of it and walked over to [[introduce myself.->7. Introduce myself]]]]] <img src="guitar.jpg">

He mentions that he noticed how interested I was in the music and sits next to me as he starts asking all these (link-reveal:"questions.")[Who's your favorite artist? What's your favorite type of music? Do you play any instruments? [[...->9. Dilemma]]] <img src="guitar.jpg">

As we are talking he starts asking me all these (link-reveal:"questions.")[Who's your favorite artist? What's your favorite type of music? Do you play any instruments? [[...->9. Dilemma]]] <img src="guitar.jpg">

I personally am not that in to music. I will listen to and enjoy whatever anyone else is playing, but... I did know all of his answers to these questions. I had to decide between telling him [[what he wanted to hear->11. Choice 1]], or being [[honest with my answers->10. Choice 2]]. <img src="guitar.jpg">

Despite my better judgement, I give him all the "right" answers. I mean after all he is really cute and I don't meet many interesting people living in Miles. What could a few white lies hurt[[...->13. Lies]] <img src="guitar.jpg">

I really think I might like this guy, but rather than try and win him over with fake answers I try the honest route.[[honest route.->12. Honesty]] <img src="heart.jpg">

Rather than give him all the "right" answers, I honestly tell him that I don't know much about (link-reveal:"music.")[ But, I have always wanted to learn [[more!->14. More]]] <img src="heart.jpg">

We did it. We packed up and moved to the (link-reveal:"big city.")[ Our life together is full of nights of music, new friends, and nights in the beautifully lit up streets of [[downtown.->31. End]]] <img src="guitar.jpg">

Well, one thing leads to another and suddenly I have found myself deep in conversation about all the things Austin loves, but I personally have no connection to. I am only able to participate in the conversation because I could feel in my heart all the same things he [[felt.->15.The facade]]

He stayed in town a few more weeks after that night. We spent hours and hours talking about music and his dreams of playing in the big city one day. I found myself so invested in his desires, I began to forget [[my own.->16. What do I want?]]

I spent the next few weeks continuing this facade of being what I thought was the "perfect girl" for him. I shared little about my personal passions and desires, but they were easy to forget as I grew to know and desire his dreams more and [[more.->17. Until one day...]]

Until one day he asked me, "What are your dreams for your life?"(link-reveal:"...")[ I wasn't sure what to (link-reveal:"say")[ Tell him I desire everything he [[does->25. His dream]] or Tell him about my true [[desires->18. My dream]]]]

I told him I too wanted to leave the small town and live a life of excitment in the big city. I would love to spend my nights out listening to live music and meeting new people [[everyday.->26. Until finally... (Want)]]

Like I said before, Miles is my home. I have never had the desire to leave and search for something bigger(link-reveal:"...")[ I was terrified telling him this and was certain this would be the end of our (link-reveal:"relationship.")[ But... I would never leave my home for [[a guy->19. Coming to an end]] or He surprised me with his [[response->20.Compromise]]]] <img src="heart.jpg">

One day he asked, "Would you ever leave Miles?"(link-reveal:"...")[ This was the question I feared the most! I didn't know what to tell him(link-reveal:"...")[ Tell him I have always loved living in [[Miles->18. My dream]] or Tell him I love him and would follow him [[anywhere->24. Follow Austin]]]]

I told him I too wanted to leave the small town and live a life of excitment in the big city. I had fallen in love with him and could not imagine being seperated from [[him.->26. Until finally... (Want)]]

He said he admired how much I loved my home, but I could feel the disappointment he felt in my own heart ontop of my own (link-reveal:"saddness.")[ How much easier would it have been to just fall into the infatuation of this relationship and allow his dreams to become my [[dreams.->21. Need over Want]]]

To my surprise, he said he would rather stay in Miles with me than chase his dreams of becoming a musician(link-reveal:"...")[ I wish I could have fooled myself into believing him, but I can never escape this curse of knowing the truth of what another person [[desires.->21. Need over Want]]]

I felt in my heart all the pain and disappointment he felt in his(link-reveal:"...")[ I felt how much we both longed to remain together, but we didn't want to keep each other form our dreams. We had a big decision to make(link-reveal:"...")[ We decided to [[make it work.->23. Until finally... (Want and Need)]] or We went our seperate [[ways.->22. Until finally... (Need)]]]

We knew this decision, though difficult, was the right one to [[make.->29. My heart]] <img src="heart.jpg">

Whenever I meet a new person, my heart becomes consumed with the same passions and dreams that person (link-reveal:"desires.")[ However, I never experienced these desires as strong as when I met [[Austin->28. Austin]]] <img src="heart.jpg">

He was from out of town and I had never met anyone like [[him.->5. Until one day... (Austin)]]

I learned a lot about myself from this relationship. I spend more time listening to my own heart now, and make sure to always be aware of my own desires. I love having an insight into others hearts, but I never want to lose sight of what lies wihtin my own.

Since then, I have told Austin the truth about my ability to know and desire all the dreams and desires of another person. We have grown in making sure to always pursue both of our dreams within our relationship and find joy in learning more about the others heart every day.

In the end, he will never know the truth about my longing to stay in Miles, but with each passing day my heart aches a little less for home.