Kiss my Kale 2

Today is Tuesday, but not just any Tuesday. It is THE Tuesday. The Tuesday when you FINALLY ask your crush (link:"on a date.")[(transition:"dissolve")[on a date. That's right. It's time you stop being a little fried shrimp. And instead. Become... A KING, er... QUEEN PRAWN. (link:"Speaking of time...")[(transition:"dissolve")[Speaking of time... >[[Crap you're late!|Late]] >[[Aw yeah, a solid 15 minutes early.|Early]]]]]]

Your manager can't be too angry right? You've never once been late in the five summers you've worked here. Besides Menken's Nursery is just a small family owned garden center that hardly gets any business. Just in case, you make a made dash to the employee lounge...(click-append:"employee lounge...")[ BUT YOU TRIP OVER A TOPIARY AND FALL TO THE GROUND! [[Friggin' Plants.|Friggin Plants]]]

You walk into Menken's Garden Nursery with your newly found stride of pride, because the early worm gets the bird. (link:"Wait.")[(transition:"dissolve")[Wait. That doesn't sound right... Well you just have to make it until you fake it! (link:"Hang on.")[(transition:"dissolve")[Hang on. That doesn't sound right either... (link:"Heh. Nerves, right??")[(transition:"dissolve")[But no worries! That's why you got here early. To relax among the plants. To breath in their oxygen. Good thing about working at a gardening center. Plants. You can also hide amongst them (link:"in case-")[(transition:"dissolve")[in case- NO! Today is not a day for hiding! Today YOU are an UNSTOPPABLE force of NATURE. [[Now enter that employee lounge!|Lounge]]]]]]]]]]

You open the employee lounge door [[full of determin-|Lounge 1.2]]

La la di da! (live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")[There's nothing you can't do when you put your mind to it.](stop:)] (live:4s)[(transition:"dissolve")[La la di do!](stop:)] (live:6s)[(transition:"dissolve")[There's nothing you can't do when you don't think about it.](stop:)] (live:8s)[(transition:"dissolve")[[[La lo li loo-|Manager 1]]](stop:)]

(transition: "pulse")["Stop singing and GET TO WORK!"] Your manager yells and scurries off...(link:"AGAIN?!")[AGAIN?! Seriously. Your manager must have eaten something funny this morning. What gives? Though your manager is (link:"probably right...")[probably right... You should stop singing and [[GET TO WORK!|Garden Nursery]]]]

Ah... the garden nursery. In front of you the bees are bumbling. The honeywort is winking. The clematis clamors for attention. Everyone else looks a bit thirsty. Maybe you should go (link:"grab the-")[(transition: "dissolve")[grab the- [[OH SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS -------|Ask Him]]]]

A WILD CRUSH APPEARS! And this time... He's using the hose to water the hostas! (link:"What will you do??")[(transition:"dissolve")[What will you do?? >[[Ask him to use the hose.|Ask Him 2]] >[[Just wait until he's done...|Wait]]]]

Yeah, ask him... (click-append:"ask him...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ As practice for asking him on a date! [[Alright, all systems go!|Ask Him 3]]]]

You don't want to come off as annoying or anything, right? And you're definitely not making an excuse again, (link:"right?")[(transition:"dissolve")[right? No. It's a reason. A reason to...(click-append:"A reason to...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Watch your crush...(click-append:"Watch your crush...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ With a hose...(click-append:"With a hose...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Spraying water...(click-append:"Spraying water...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ [[Life is beautiful.|Life Is Beautiful]]]]]]]]]]]]

"1,440 minutes in every day, and you blow every single one of them." Amy nods over to where your crush (link:"is standing.")[''was'' standing >[[......|Greeting 1B]]]

You let out a "Blragggghhhh!" as you fall to the ground. "Why is it easier to act like a complete moron in front of your crush than saying a simple 'Hello'?" >[[.....|Greeting 1B]]

Your friend just points to the empty spot where your crush once stood. >[[.....|Greeting 1B]]

(live:1s)[(transition:"dissolve")[Amy looks around at all the customers. (live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")["Isn't it weird we're so busy on a Tuesday?" >[[Huh, we are?|Greeting 1C]] >[[Maybe a new holiday randomly got declared for everyone except for us.|Greeting 1C]](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)]

Now that she mentioned it though, there are a lot of customers today. "We've got this new plant in. Some variety of kale. Apparently we're the only place selling it." >[[Lucky us?|Lucky Us]]

Amy looks concerned, but it can't that bad of a thing, right?? It's just kale.(click-append:"It's just kale.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Sure it's the most vile of the leafy greens, but someone probably just blogged or something about how this variety of kale, once only grown in the Jayawijaya Mountains of Indonesia contains vitamins F and U, the no longer secret to protecting ourselves from the metaphorical ocean of electromagnetic radiation we live in today, and now EVERYONE just HAS to make SMOOTHIES with it. Wouldn't be the first time.(click-append:"Wouldn't be the first time.")[ (transition:"dissolve")["Well we better get back to work. Our manager is running around like a chicken with its head cut off today." >[[Yeah, Catch you later.|OH WELL]]]]]]

Well whatever, not your problem. As long as the plant sells and the nursery makes money, who cares if it's a giant scam? But with all these customers you should really [[get to work...|Get to Work 1]] But you also need to [[look for your crush...|Look for Crush]]

(Live:.1s)[H](live:.2s)[A](Live:.3s)[H](live:.4s)[A](Live:.5s)[H](live:.6s)[A](live:.7s)[H](Live:.8s)[A](live:.9s)[H](Live:1s)[A](Live:1.1s)[H](live:1.2s)[A](Live:1.3s)[H](live:1.4s)[A](Live:1.5s)[H](live:1.6s)[A](Live:1.7s)[H](live:1.8s)[A](Live:1.9s)[H](live:2s)[A](Live:2.1s)[H](live:2.2s)[A](Live:2.3s)[H](live:2.4s)[A](Live:2.5s)[H](live:2.6s)[A] (live: 3s)[The whole point of today is hunting down your crush. Like Hell you're going to do ACTUAL work. (link:"HUNT HIM DOWN.")[[[TO THE GREENHOUSES!|Greenhouse 1.0]]]]

As long as you look like you're working while looking no one will get angry right? Right????????? You decide to start with the [[greenhouses.|Greenhouse 1.0]]

One of Menken's main sources of pride is that they grow all the plants they sell. From seed, to seedling, to full-grown flowering plants that are ready to find new homes that hopefully won't kill them, we help plants through every stage of life. >[[Approach the first greenhouse.|Greenhouse 1.1A]]

BOOM! Luck of the draw! Your crush is standing at the planting table planting. Maybe he needs help. (click-append:"needs help.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Maybe YOU can be the one that helps him! [[You can see it now.|Greenhouse 1.1B]]]]

But surely you can't just waltz on in there and be like "Hi crush! Do you need any help??" No, you definitely can't do that. You need a persona. But which one is your crush's ultimate weakness?? > [[Wilting flower?|Wilting Flower]] > [[Smoldering temptress?|Smoldering Temptress]] > [[Bright and bubbly?|Bright And Bubbly]]

Now that your persona is sorted, all that's left is to open the door...(click-append:"open the door...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Just put your hand on the handle.(click-append:"on the handle.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Push down.(click-append:"Push down.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Pull the door towards you, [[and....|Greenhouse 1.32]]]]]]]]

Exactly. Now keep that thought in your head that you're doing ANYTHING OTHER THAN OPENING THE DOOR (link:"AND.....")[AND... VIOLA! [[YOU'RE-|Greenhouse 1.5]]]

(live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")["Huh?"](stop:)] (live:4s)[(link:"Please tell me you didn't...")[//Please tell me you didn't...// (live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")["Do you need a... viola?" (live:2s)[(link:"Oh for goodness sakes you did...")[//Oh for goodness sakes you did...//(stop:) (live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")["I don't think there's one in here. Sorry."](stop:)] (Live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")[(link:"Quick think of something to say!")[(text-style: "mirror")[(link:"At this point")[(text-style: "upside-down")[(link:"AnYtHiNg WilL dO!")[(text-style: "blink")[(text-rotate:180)[[[JUST SAY SOMETHING!!!|Greenhouse 1.6]]]]]]]](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)]

"Whoa, we're out of seedlings. We planted those really fast! I'll go grab more from the back greenhouse and take these ones out to the nursery." Wait, you can help out!(click-append:"you can help out!")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Offer to: >[[Take the planted seedlings to the nursery.|Offer 1]] >[[Get more seedlings.|Offer 2]]]]

You offer to take the kale out to the nursery. "Really? Thank you! We're growing the kale in the greenhouse at the bottom of that massive hill, so it's probably best that I'm the one who has to push the cart back up that massive hill." Your crush blushes. "We make a good team." *SWOON*(click-append:"SWOON")[(transition:"dissolve")[ You stare deeply into his lovely brown eyes, the same color as dead kale... [[You can count on me!|Find Your BFF]]]]

You offer to get more seedlings to plant and grab the cart. But your crush stops you, and places his hand over yours.(click-append:"his hand over yours.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ "Allow me. You'll have to push the cart up the big hill. I wouldn't want to do that to you." *SWOON*(click-append:"SWOON")[(transition:"dissolve")[ You stare deeply into his lovely brown eyes, the same color as dead kale, and allow him [[to take the cart.|Find Your BFF]]]]]]

Besides, this gives you a chance to find Amy and tell her of your success. However... You hardly make it past the petunias with the potted kale when you're attacked by a horde of angry old ladies.... >(link:"Fight them off.")[ You attempt to calm the old ladies, but they just shove you out of the way. Since when were old ladies this strong?!] >[[Just walk away.|Find BFF 2]]

Praise be! Amy's by herself in the pottery section. Kind of weird, but this means you won't be interrupted by any crazy customers. Also...(click-append:"Also...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Her back is towards you, giving you ALL THE OPTIONS. >[[Sneak up on Amy and SCREAM!|BFF Attack 1]] >[[Stand behind Amy and breathe heavily until she notices.|BFF Wait]] >[[Just walk up like a normal person and say "Hi."|BFF Normal]]]]

You sneak up behind Amy and SCREAM in her ear. The sound of sweet sweet revenge...(click-append:"sweet sweet revenge...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Except she doesn't jump. She just slowly turns around, and [[smiles at you.|BFF Attack 2]]]]

Doesn't work. You're just standing here looking like a moron and wasting time. You give up. >[[Tap Amy on the shoulder|BFF Normal]] >[[Scream in Amy's face|BFF Attack 1]]

Amy turns around and smiles at you.(click-append:"smiles at you.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ "Hello dear friend. I hope you are doing well. Your hard work is most valued. Please continue doing the best you can." OK... Amy is acting a little odd,(click-append:"a little odd,")[(transition:"dissolve")[ but you just CAN'T CONTAIN YOUR EXCITEMENT and you tell her EVERYTHING.(click-append:"tell her EVERYTHING.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ "How lovely! Brought together by the kale." Dude,(click-append:"Dude,")[(transition:"dissolve")[ you are so weird sometimes. "Weird maybe, but soon normal." Amy laughs. Right... Well you should [[get back to planting|Greenhouse 2]]. Your crush is probably waiting for you.]]]]]]]]

You head back to the greenhouse to get back to planting. Today has been so strange, but at least you've got this crush thing going for you. Without having to pretend you're someone else or that the door is something else, you walk into the greenhouse. (click-append:"into the greenhouse.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ [[But you're crush isn't there...|Placeholder 2]]]]

No, today is THE TUESDAY. (click-append:"THE TUESDAY.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ (live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")[Go find him. (live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")[Don't jump to conclusions. (live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")[Opportunity comes to those who [[chase it.|Greenhouse 2.1]](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)]](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)]

You head to the greenhouse at the bottom of the hill your crush mentioned. Maybe he wasn't able to push the cart up like he said he could. Maybe he got injured and needs you to rescue him. Or maybe the door is jammed or something. Who knows? But there are plenty of legitimate reasons for him to be taking longer than expected. [[A little logic never hurt.|Greenhouse 3]]

You arrive at the greenhouse and see a cart full of the kale seedlings right outside the door. But your crush isn't in sight. (link:"Take the cart back?")[(transition:"dissolve")[You could take the cart back and get started on planting, but let's be honest, you came all the way down here to find your crush, not the seedlings.]] (link:"Continue looking?")[(transition:"dissolve")[Your crush should be around here somewhere. Probably inside the [[greenhouse|Greenhouse 3.3]].]]

You walk into the greenhouse and see a massive plant unlike any plant you've ever seen before. That must be it. That must be...(click-append:"That must be...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ ''The Mother Kale.'' (live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")[(stop:)You don't think that thing could have swallowed your crush, (link:"do you?")[(transition:"dissolve")[do you? But as soon as you (link:"have that thought")[have that thought, you hear strange mumblings coming from behind the giant kale. [[Call out.|Call Out]] [[Listen.|Listen]] ]]]]]]]

Your crush emerges from behind the plant. "Isn't it beautiful?" You look up at the giant kale with your crush. Don't know if you would call it beautiful, but it sure is massive. All of this feels a little strange, but standing here, looking up at a giant kale plant together, is also sort of strangely... (link:"Romantic?")[(transition:"dissolve")[Romantic? Maybe this is the time? The time to ask your crush? To ask your crush to [[(clears throat)...|Greenhouse 3.7]]]]

For the most part, it's great working with plants. Breathing in their freshly produced oxygen. Relaxing amongst their green foliage.... But. (click-append:"But.")[ The problem with plants is their lack of URGENCY. They love taking their time to germinate, waiting for the soil temperatures to be just right, they just don't understand that some of us need to hurry. Weeds get it. But no one likes weeds. They're almost too greedy. Like they want to TAKE OVER THE WORLD or something. ANYWAYS,(click-append:"ANYWAYS,")[(transition:"dissolve")[ nothing is going to stop you today. Not being late. [[Not even a plant.|Lounge]]]]]

(transition: "pulse")["Get to (text-style:"bold")[WORK!]"] Your manager bursts into the room, and then scurries off. Strange. (click-append:"Strange.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Your manager hardly ever yells and hardly ever scurries. Oh well, today might not be her day, but you can't let that stop YOU. (click-append:"can't let that stop YOU.")[ No. Because YOU are currently ALONE in the employee lounge with your CRUSH. And he's looking right at you. And you're looking right at him. (link:"And")[(link:"And.")[ (link:"And..")[ [[And...|RUNAWAY]]]]]]]]

YOU RUN AWAY. (live:2s)[Making a beeline straight for the geraniums. (click-append:"for the geraniums.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ And you don't even know why. You hate geraniums. They smell funny. [[BUT THAT IS WHERE YOU GO.|Hide and Think]]]](stop:)]

And so you hide and think amongst the geraniums.(click-append:"geraniums.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Window box flowers that can either mean stupidity or gentility.(click-append:"stupidity or gentility.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Probably stupidity in your case. But YOU have a choice. YOU can choose to either... [[Collect yourself|Collect Yourself]] or [[Sulk some more|Sulk]]]]]]

No! You're not allowed to sulk today, (link:"remember?")[(transition:"dissolve")[remember? You even spent the morning putting on liquid eyeliner. Liquid eyeliner takes you, like, AGES to put on. You suck at it. So the only time it's worth the time are times like these when you're DETERMINED to succeed. Right? You knew the amount of effort it would take. You prepared for the amount of effort it would take. And you succeeded. Your eyeliner is perfect today. (click-append:"Your eyeliner is perfect today.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ (transition:"dissolve")[[[You are perfect today.|Sing A Song]] ]]]]]

(live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")[You take a deep breath. (stop:)]] (live:4s)[(transition:"dissolve")[Systems powering on.](stop:)] (live:5s)[(transition:"dissolve")[Attack mode initiated.](stop:)] (live:6s)[(transition:"dissolve")[Target: Crush - Acquired.](stop:)] (live:8s)[(transition:"dissolve")[You remember [[a little song|Sing A Song]] you might have heard somewhere long ago...](stop:)]

(live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")[Someone taps your shoulder Oh no.(click-append:"Oh no.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Please don't let it be your manager again... [[Turn around.|BFF 2]]]]](stop:)]

"YO!" (live:2s)[Amy shouts in your face.(stop:)(click-append:"shouts in your face.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ (link:"Classic best friend.")[Amy and you have been best friends since Michael shoved a fist full of worms down your shirt in the 2nd grade. She socked him one right in the chompers. She didn't even get in trouble for it, since Michael didn't want to tell anyone he got punched by a girl. Amy is a bundle of energy, who just goes for it. You admire her for that.] >[[Hi...|Greeting 1A]] >[[Pretend to die of fright.|Greeting 1.2A]] >[[Say nothing. Just glare.|Greeting 1.3A]]]]]

Wilting flower would certainly keep with the horticulture theme, and he likes plants, so maybe being [[like a plant would be best...|Greenhouse 1.3]]

You laugh at your own idea. Becoming a [[Wilting Flower]] or being [[Bright And Bubbly]] is certainly less of a lost cause.

Bright and bubbly, the complete and total opposite of the girl who ran away earlier. You just need to smile and pretend that they whole world is full of roses. Yeah, just totally don't be like yourself. [[That always works!|Greenhouse 1.3]]

(live:2s)[The door's still closed,] (live:3.5s)[(link:"isn't it?")[(transition:"dissolve")[isn't it? Oh! Ok, well here's a thought. Since you're already pretending to be someone else, you might as well pretend the door is something else like....(stop:) [[A box of chocolates!|Greenhouse 1.4]] [[A toilet?|Greenhouse 1.4]] [[A... A... A...Trombone.|Greenhouse 1.4]](stop:)](stop:)](stop:)]

But you just walk right up to the table and start planting Straight up ignoring his existence. (click-append:"Straight up ignoring his existence.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ You've always been a woman of action not words. (link:"Plant a plant.")[(transition:"dissolve")[So impress with efficiency if not with words! But... (link:"Plant a plant.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Talking is the ideal way to communicate with fellow humans when standing directly across from them so you should probs think about doing that. (link:"Plant a plant.")[(transition:"dissolve")[But the more you think the more you plant. (link:"Plant a plant.")[(transition:"dissolve")[And the more you plant the more you think. (link:"Plant a plant.")[(transition:"dissolve")[And so the cycle continues...(link:"Plant a plant.")[(transition:"dissolve")[and continues...[[Plant a plant.|Greenhouse 1.7]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

Your manager kicks down the greenhouse door ready to absolutely rage, but upon seeing the kale seedlings, she pauses...(click-append:"she pauses...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ She inspects...(click-append:"She inspects...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ She says...(click-append:"She says...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ "Hm. Very good. Yes. Very very good. Very good indeed. Your hard work and dedication have made much progress...." [[And she exits.|Greenhouse 1.8]]]]]]]]

OK. That was weird, but CRISIS! Your manager disrupted your conversation avoidance flow, and as you turn back to the kale, your crush turns back to the kale at the same time, and as you both simultaneously turn back to the kale, you lock eyes and stare deeply deeply into each other's eyes, a stare that's worth more than 1,000 verbalized words. But then it happens. Your crush verbalizes words, and says:(click-append:"and says:")[(transition:"dissolve")[ I hate kale. And you too. You also verbalize words and respond:(click-append:"and respond:")[(transition:"dissolve")[ You hate kale too. And you both keep staring, unsure of what to do with this newfound mutual hatred of kale other than to [[keep planting.|Placeholder 1]]]]]]

And so you (plural) keep planting planting planting until... Crush says:(click-append:"Crush says:")[(transition:"dissolve")[ I am curious about how this kale tastes though, are you? (link:"(Duuuuude, you got this! Keep the convo flowing!)")[(transition:"dissolve")[You say: Hah, no way! All kale tastes like dirt. Crush says: Right? I'm convinced some screwball blogged or something causing this mass hysteria You say again: Oh. My. Gosh.(click-append:"Oh. My. Gosh.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ You thought the same thing earlier! And as you both think about how you both thought the same thing earlier, your finger tips brush as you (plural) reach for the [[last unpotted kale seedling.|Greenhouse 1.9]]]]]]]]

You wonder how Amy is surviving this kale induced hysteria. You didn't see her around the greenhouse or out in the nursery. Amy could have been roped into working the [[cash register|Cash Register]]. Or she could be in either the [[pottery|Pottery]] or [[gardening supplies|Supplies]] section.

For the love of larkspur there's one heck of a long line. And people are actually standing in it. Just looking at it makes you anxious. Your manager appears is manning the register well enough though. You sneak away before being sucked in the hysteria. Continue looking: >[[Check the pottery section.|Pottery]] >[[Check the gardening supplies section.|Supplies]]

You tiptoe through the ergonomic pruners, past the trowels, towards the French blue watering cans, but there's no Amy in sight. Or customers for that matter... Continue looking? >[[Check the pottery section.|Pottery]] >[[Check the cash registers.|Cash Register]]

You stand at the planting table and decide to wait...(click-append:"decide to wait...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ A few minutes pass.(click-append:"A few minutes pass.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Maybe you're being ignored.(click-append:"Maybe you're being ignored.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ A few more minutes pass.(click-append:"A few more minutes pass.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Maybe he ditched you.(click-append:"Maybe he ditched you.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ You go over everything you said (link:"in those brief moments.")[(transition:"dissolve")[in those brief moments. You regret everything you said (link:"in those brief moments.")[(transition:"dissolve")[in those brief moments. A brief moment is enough time [[to judge someone after all...|Greenhouse 2.0]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

This isn't a time for being passive and indirect. You call out to whoever might be making those sounds...(click-append:"making those sounds...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ "No...D-d-don't come any c-c-closer!" (live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")[(stop:)It's your crush! Ask him: (link:"What's wrong?")[(transition:"dissolve")[What's wrong? "Just...s-s-stay-" (live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")[(stop:)It's time to be brave and [[rush to his side.|Greenhouse 3.5A]]]]]]]]]]

You listen...Whoever it is sounds like they're in a lot of pain. But then it stops.(Click-append:"But then it stops.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ And then there's silence.(click-append:"And then there's silence.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ You decide to do what every idiot does in horror movies. [[Call out to whoever is there.|Greenhouse 3.5B]]]]]]

You run behind the plant, thinking you'll find your crush keeled over on the floor, but instead...(click-append:"but instead...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ He's standing up and smiling at the giant kale. >[[Are you alright?|Greenhouse 3.6A]]]]

"Isn't it beautiful?" You look up at the giant kale with your crush. Don't know if you would call it beautiful, but it sure is massive. All of this feels a little strange, but standing here, looking up at a giant kale plant together, is also sort of strangely... (link:"Romantic?")[(transition:"dissolve")[Romantic? Maybe this is the time? The time to ask your crush? To ask your crush to [[(clears throat)...|Greenhouse 3.7]]]]

(link:"Um...")[(transition:"dissolve")[(link:"*Come on...*")[(transition:"dissolve")[(link:"Would you...")[(transition:"dissolve")[(link:"*You've got this!*")[(transition:"dissolve")[(link:"Like to...")[(transition:"dissolve")[(link:"*It's now or never...*")[(transition:"dissolve")[Go out sometime?? (live:4s)[(goto:"Greenhouse 3.9")]]]]]]]]]]]]]

"Sure." (live:3s)[(transition:"dissolve")[(link:"R-really...?")[(transition:"dissolve")[R-really...? "Of course." He looks up at you again with those dead kale brown eyes. [[OH MY GOSH.|Greenhouse 4.0]]]](stop:)]]

OH MY GOSH! Your crush said yes! YOUR CRUSH SAID YES! But... (link: "Where should you go?")[(transition:"dissolve")[ **Where should you go?!** To the movies? To the park? To a fancy dinner?]] *Why didn't you think this far ahead???* (link:"When should you go?")[(transition:"dissolve")[**When do you go?!** Saturday afternoon to have the entire day? Friday night because night is when people do...*things*. Um. Or does it depend on what you're doing in the first place?]] And most importantly... (link:"What should you wear?")[(transition:"Dissolve")[ What to wear?! **What to wear?!** A cocktail dress, something that shows off your... *Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...* Maybe something casual would be better, so you don't set the bar too high, false expectations... or... or... Jeeze, do you even have clothes? You can't even remember. (live:3s)[[["But..."|Greenhouse 4.1]]]]]

Oh no... There's a "but". Why is there always a "but"??? > [[Yes?|Greenhouse 4.2]]

"I want you to try the kale." >[[Just give him a weird look.|Greenhouse 4.3A]] >[[Laugh. He's got to be kidding right?|Greenhouse 4.3B]]

You give him a weird look and wait for a further explanation.(click-append:"a further explanation.")[(live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")[ "Well you see. I don't know about you, but I've dated a lot, and from all my experience, someone just asking you out doesn't mean they necessarily like you. So what better way to prove your feelings than to do something you don't like to please the other person?" Your crush is [[being dead serious|Greenhouse 4.4]], isn't he?](stop:)]]

"Please don't laugh. I don't know about you, but I've dated a lot, and from all my experience someone just asking out you doesn't mean they necessarily like you. So what better way to prove your feelings than to do something you don't like to please the other person?" Your crush is [[being dead serious|Greenhouse 4.4]], isn't he?

Something about that logic just doesn't...(click-append:"just doesn't...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Fear, you get that.(click-append:"you get that.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Everyone is afraid of being lied to. And you never know when someone's feelings are going to change. Or what's going to change them. But you can't really control that. So even in this moment if you "prove" to your crush that you like him, this moment doesn't promise eternity. But...(click-append:"But...")[(transition:"dissolve")[you friggin' asked him out on a date?! Jeeze, does he have any idea what emotional turmoil you went through to work up the guts to do just that and now you have to eat your least favorite leafy green if not least favorite food?! >[[But if it makes your crush feel better?|Greenhouse 4.5A]] >[[Bypass the kale and kiss your crush.|Greenhouse 4.6]]]]]]]]

It's not like he's asking you to jump off a bridge or anything, right? He just wants proof... And if you like him, should be willing to give him that proof. >[[Take a bite of a kale leaf.|Dead End 2.0]] >[[You should be willing to give him that proof...|Greenhouse 4.5B]]

Passion proves more than kale ever could. You go in for the kill.(click-append:"in for the kill.")[ (transition:"dissolve")[ But when you kiss your crush, his lips are as cold as chilled crocus bulb...(click-append:"chilled crocus bulb...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ "I was afraid something like this would happen. Humans are such emotional creatures." [[You back away.|You Back Away]]]]]]

The greenhouse grows dark. You hear strange voices in your head. Or rather... (click-append:"Or rather...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Everyone's voices speaking as one. Amy, your manager, your crush, even the old ladies. You are slipping away, along with your anger and fear. But you muster the energy to have one last thought as yourself [[and think...|Dead End 1.1]]]]

You think about it... You think about it some more.... But you just can't shake this feeling of [[OH HELL NO!|Greenhouse 4.5C]]

You've been afraid a lot of times in your life. But you didn't know the real meaning of fear until... until you kissed your crush.(click-append:"kissed your crush.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ "Would you please just eat the kale?" Your crush holds out a single leaf. This is the crush you've been crushing on [[this entire time?|You Back Away 2]]]]

Everyone is acting really friggin' weird today.(click-append:"friggin' weird today.")[ And it's all because of that friggin' kale!(click-append:"that friggin' kale!")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Leaving you but only [[one choice...|Kill the Kale 1]]]]]

You must kill the kale.(click-append:"kill the kale.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ When the source of the fad dies, the fad dies with it, right? So if the kale dies, the fad dies, and everything will go back to normal. So you have to do it. The only question that remains is... [[How?|Kill the Kale 2]]]]

(link:"Block off its source of light?")[(transition:"dissolve")[Block off its source of light? You would have to cover the entire greenhouse in some sort of light blocking material... no way that's possible. (link:"Poison by over-fertilization?")[(transition:"dissolve")[Poison by over-fertilization? This plant is so large, it's probably not possible to over-fertilize it. Knowing your luck, it would only grow bigger. (link:"Cut off its source of water?")[(transition:"dissolve")[Cut off its souce of water? Another time consuming method. Someone would definitely catch you before you completed your task. [[No...|Kill the Kale 3]]]]]]]]

You're going to make it go... (live: 3s)[(text-style:"bold")[(transition:"pulse")[[[KABOOM!|Kill the Kale 4]]]](stop:)]

But first you need to gather all the materials for making a bomb. Shouldn't be hard in a chemical filled greenhouse. All the hazardous chemicals are conveniently labeled as hazardous, so just treat those warnings as instructions and you should have a kale killing concoction in no time! [[Start looking for materials.|Kill the Kale 5]]

"Where do you think you're going?" Crap. You forgot your crush was standing there... >[[Tell him your plan.|Kill the Kale 6A]] >[[Tell him you need to use the bathroom.|Kill the Kale 6B]]

"Sorry, I can't let you do that. I mean... We can't let you do that." (link:"We?")[(transition:"dissolve")[We? You turn around. Amy and your mananger are standing at the greenhouse entrance. Amy is holding rope. [[What's going on?|Kill the Kale 7]]]]

"I know you're lying. I mean... We know you're lying." (link:"We?")[(transition:"dissolve")[We? You turn around. Standing at the greenhouse entrance is your manager and Amy. Amy is holding rope. [[What's going on?|Kill the Kale 7]]]]

Your crush, manager, and Amy all look at you with the same blank emotionless stare and say...(click-append:"and say...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ "You must be domesticated." No...(click-append:"No...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ "You must eat the plant to grow the plant." Please no...(click-append:"Please no...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ You try to run,(click-append:"You try to run,")[(transition:"dissolve")[ but there's nowhere to run.]] You try to hide,(click-append:"You try to hide,")[(transition:"dissolve")[ but there's nowhere to hide.]] You try to fight,(click-append:"You try to fight,")[(transition:"dissolve")[ [[but how can you?|Kill the Kale 8A]]]]]]]]]]

(if: (count:(history:),"Kill the Kale 8A")is 0)[This kale is more than a fad. It's [[a societal infection.|Kill the Kale 8B]]] (if:(count:(history:),"Kill the Kale 8A")is 1)[All you wanted was a date with your crush, but [[instead of a date...|Kill the Kale 8B]]] (if:(count:(history:),"Kill the Kale 8A")is 2)[Why does everything go horribly wrong just as things appear to be [[going right?|Kill the Kale 8B]]] (if:(count:(history:),"Kill the Kale 8A")is 3)[At least you aren't [[a fried shrimp anymore.|Kill the Kale 8B]]]

(live:1s)[Oh God.] (live:2s)[Your crush.] (live:3s)[Is Standing.] (live:4s)[Right.] (live:5s)[There.] (live:6s)[(link:"Say something!")[(text-style: "mirror")[(link:"Say Something")[(text-style: "upside-down")[(link:"SaY sOmEtHiNg")[(text-style: "blink")[(text-rotate:180)[[[SAY SOMETHING!!!|Lounge 2]]]]]]]]](stop:)]

(link:"Approach target.")[(transition:"dissolve")[(link:"Approaching target.")[(transition:"dissolve")[(link:"Still approaching target...")[(transition:"dissolve")[(link:"Approaching target very slow...")[(transition:"dissolve")[(link:"Estimating time of arrival.")[(transition:"dissolve")[(Link:"Estimated time of arrival is 434 days and 3.27 hours.")[(transition:"dissolve")[(link:"A system error has occured.")[(transition:"dissolve")[Please [[turn around|BFF 2]]] to assess the situation.]]]]]]]]]]]]]

(if: (count:(history:),"Kill the Kale 8A")is 0)[Your manager holds you as Amy binds you hands and feet [[with the rope.|Kill the Kale 8A]]] (if: (count:(history:),"Kill the Kale 8A")is 1)[Your crush approaches you holding the same kale leaf [[you refused earlier.|Kill the Kale 8A]]] (if: (count:(history:),"Kill the Kale 8A")is 2)[Your manager [[pries your mouth open...|Kill the Kale 8A]]] (if: (count:(history:),"Kill the Kale 8A")is 3)[The kale leaf is forced [[down your throat.|Kill the Kale 8A]]] (if:(count:(history:),"Kill the Kale 8A")is 4)[Because you did it. You worked up the guts to ask your crush on your date, [[even if...|Dead End 1.0]]]

"Hello dear friend. I hope you are doing well. Your hard work is most valued. Please continue doing the best you can." Right... Amy is acting a little odd,(click-append:"a little odd,")[(transition:"dissolve")[ but you just CAN'T CONTAIN YOUR EXCITEMENT and you tell her EVERYTHING.(click-append:"tell her EVERYTHING.")[(transition:"dissolve")[ "How lovely! Brought together by the kale." Dude,(click-append:"Dude,")[(transition:"dissolve")[ you are so weird sometimes. Amy laughs. "Weird maybe, but soon normal." Right... Well you should [[get back to planting|Greenhouse 2]]. Your crush is probably waiting for you.]]]]]]

"Would you please just eat the kale?" Your crush holds out a single leaf. This is the crush you've been crushing on (link:"this entire time?")[(transition:"dissolve")[this entire time? You shake your head no, and slowly back away. But the more you back away the more he creeps forward. "You only have to take a bite." You need to get out of here. [[Now.|Greenhouse 4.5D]]]]

You turn to run out the door, but your manager and Amy are standing there. Amy is holding rope. They all look at you with the same blank emotionless stare and say...(click-append:"and say...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ "You must be domesticated." No... (click-append:"No...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ "You must eat the plant to grow the plant." Please no... (click-append:"Please no...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ You need to run,(click-append:"You need to run,")[(transition:"dissolve")[ but there's nowhere to run.]] You need to hide,(click-append:"You need to hide,")[(transition:"dissolve")[ but there's nowhere to hide.]] You need to fight,(click-append:"You need to fight,")[(transition:"dissolve")[ [[but how can you?|Kill the Kale 8A]]]]]]]]]]

The greehouse grows dark. You hear strange voices in your head. Or rather... (click-append:"Or rather...")[(transition:"dissolve")[ Everyone's voices speaking as one. Amy, your manager, your crush, even the old ladies. You are no longer you, [[but everyone.|Dead End 2.1]]]]

And we will rule the world. (live:3.5s)[(go-to:"THE END")]

Kiss my kale. (live:3.5s)[(go-to:"THE END")]

You, carefully filling the pots with perfectly leveled soil. Then your crush, gently using his fingers to create small holes in the perfectly leveled soil filled pots for the seedlings. And then, as you both place the seedlings into the holes his fingers so gently created you both lock eyes and.......(click-append:"and.......")[(transition:"dissolve")[ [[WALK INTO THAT GREENHOUSE WOMAN!|Greenhouse 1.2]]]]

(text-style:"bold")[(align: "==><==")[KISS MY KALE] (align: "==><==")[[[Start|The Tuesday]]]]

(live:2s)[(transition:"dissolve")[(text-style:"bold")[(align: "==><==")[The End.]]](stop:)] (click:"The End.")[(reload:)]

You take a moment to think. (link:"...about Amy.")[(transition:"dissolve")[Amy was acting //wayyyyy// too nice earlier.]] (link:"...about your Manager.")[(transition:"dissolve")[Your manager has been **so mean** today.]] (link:"...about the old ladies.")[(transition:"dissolve")[The old ladies would have ''//killed//'' for that kale. (live:5s)[[[You know what?|You Know What]]]]]