#The Wave
Chairs slam beneath you, their sounds grasping you through the floorboards and the bedframe up to your skin.
Shouts penetrate past every door, blanket, floor and wall tormenting your ears, but more importantly it reaches [[their|2]] ears.{(set: $nothing to false)
(set: $fear to false)
(set: $awe to false)
(set: $idontknow to false)
Your younger sibling lays on the top bunk with you staring at the ceiling alongside you. Admist the sunset, some luminescent stars are stuck to the ceiing. In their light, everything is a little (text-colour:green)[green.] Twist your head, you look at them. Their eyes twinkle slightly as they look upwards, flecks of light flickering in their eyes. As you look at them you wonder what they're thinking of. You think they're thinking of...}
(link: "Nothing.")[(set: $nothing to true)(goto: "3")]
(link: "Fear.")[(set: $fear to true)(goto: "3")]
(link: "Awe.")[(set: $awe to true)(goto: "3")]
(link: "I don't know.")[(set: $idontknow to true)(goto: "3")]{(if:$nothing is true)[They're probably thinking of nothing, you thought of nothing a lot at their age, or at least you tried to. Absence allows for endurance.]
(else-if:$fear is true)[They must be afraid, less a thought, more a state. They stare far into the distance. You were always afraid when you were younger.]
(else-if:$awe is true)[They must be in awe of the stars. The way their eyes look at the stickers, you wonder if they dream of becoming an astronaut or an astronomer. They'll need a lot of money and support for that. But you'll be there. You look up, and all you see is cheap plastic, but when you look into their eyes...]
(else-if:$idontknow is true)[You're not actually sure what they're thinking of. You look at your sibling, they're so young. It wasn't that long ago that you were as young as them, but you can barely remember anything from that time. You paw at your chest, feeling a little twinge.]}
You grip their hand - to be their stone, their ground amongst the chaos beneath you two. Suddenly their eyes snap into reality, and they look at you. You feel the trembling echoes through the floor... Wait. No. It's your sibling. The vibration runs down your skin, as their eyes widen with every scream and slam under the floorboards. Their face begins to contort in fear. They haven't become numb yet - not like you have.
You did this. You brought them into this reality. You broke their dream. You have a [[responsibility.|4]]Lightning pulses throughout your mind as you figure out how to resolve this sin. Then it comes to you, you can finally do what you wanted to do as a child now that you're older...
Run.
Not forever. You're not an idiot. You know you need to eat, keep warm, get money. It's winter right now, you'd both die out there in a heartbeat. You can't risk them dying. [[You tell them of your idea.|5]](set: $coins to false)
They nod enthuastically at your idea to go outside for a little bit. They're ecstatic at the idea of being allowed to be out in the afternoon like an adult.
You sit up and pull them from their laying positons and guide them down the bunkbed, one step at a time.
You see them giddy, and to be honest, the idea of a night trip gets your blood pumping too. If only for a while, you can give a little respite to them. Fire runs through your veins at your power - you're old enough to make someone else happier.
You relay your instructions to them, to sneak down the stairs. You know the perfect trip destination - a place you've never shown anyone else before. They prod you for more information but you smile and stay silent, they'll appreciate it more with fewer details.
You remember that you have some [coins]<coins| that you've accumulated and hidden in a small compartment in your wardrobe. Maybe they'll be of use, but they won't pay for much and they'll almost definitely clatter in your pockets.
(click: ?coins)[(set: $coins to true)Crawling down into the corner of your wardrobe you pocket the handful coins and they clatter loudly as you rise.]
You look at the [[door out|6]], light flowing out the bottom of the frame.Opening the door, the pressure of the slams rises - a seal is undone.
You grip your sibling's hands, as you both leave your room.
Your mother's shouts split your ears, as your father responds with wall punches and threats. You hear the occasional crash or two.
You used to care about this. Not anymore - marks exist to remind you why.
You both move to the top of the stairs, point at the front door at the bottom, and push your index finger to your lips. They get the point and straighten up like a little soldier - they've always been smart like that.
You position behind them and place your hands on their ears to guide and protect them as you both [[tiptoe down the stairs.|7]](set: $shieldeyes to false)
(set: $rundown to false)
Your parents shadows streak across the wall from the banisters - a cruel projection highlighting every hand-raising, every object rising, every mouth opening, splayed on the wall.
Your sibling stares at the spectacle, standing still at the sight. You immediately...
(link: "Shield their eyes.")[(set: $shieldeyes to true)(goto: "8")]
(link: "Run down the stairs.")[(set: $rundown to true)(goto: "8")](if:$shieldeyes is true)[Placeing your hands around their eyes, your arms press against their ears. They don't need to see or hear this. Not yet. No. Not ever. You slowly guide them down the stairs, as they quietly question your actions. You move close and whisper it's a new game. They're suspicious, but they trust you.
(if:$coins)[Your coins clatter loudly in your pockets as you walk down, as quiet as you try to be. However your parents don't appear to hear anything, too occupied with their argument. You're not quite sure what to make of that.]]
(else-if:$rundown is true)[[You quickly lift them up and run them down their stairs. They're elated at this sudden state of events.]
(if:$coins)[Your coins clatter louder than ever, one or two of them even spilling from the pocket onto the stairs. However the fighting doesn't cease, not even for a moment. You start to wonder how loud a noise you'd need to make until they'd care, but you quickly dismiss that thought from your mind.]
]
You both approach the door, and you quickly undo the locks, and nudge your sibling out, you behind them. You close the door behind you, and you see your sibling suprisingly giggling at your succesful escape, and you can't help but giggle slightly as you're now [[outside your home.|9]]{(set: $visitedrennart to false)
You take a moment to look at the street around you, red and green doors adorn the road, and a setting sun above you. Your neighbour - Miss Rennart usually tends to her garden. You like Mrs Rennart, she used to give you biscuits when she saw you about. Well used to implies that she wouldn't do that now. Now that you're in secondary school you're too old to take such charity, but you still like her. You decide to...}
(link: "Go to Mrs Rennart's House.")[(set: $visitedrennart to true)(goto: "Mrs Rennart's House")]
[[Continue down the road.->10]]Together you both approach her little black gate and push it open. Pushing her doorbell, you and your sibling wait. Mrs Rennart also gives your sibling biscuits, you're extremely grateful for that.
You both wait a little longer, then you recall that she's out visiting her daughter. Your siblings looks at you expectantly, but you shake your head.
[[Back to the road.|10]](if:$visitedrennart is false)[You choose to not visit Mrs Rennart. You've asked her for too many things already. You're basically an adult now, you can do this little journey without her help.]
You walk left, down the street, seeing all the houses with their lights on. In the houses with their curtains open you spy many families sitting on their sofas, watching television. Your sibling follows your gaze, and they stare at the various families as if they're little aquariams, mesmerized as their differences. You quickly state that the place you're going to show them is even more exciting than this and say how it's [[down the main road.|11]]You're now on the main street, more pedestrians are around. Some of them look at you two quizzically, probably wandering why two young people are out when it's about to get late. You shoot them a glare at those who stare too long and they avert their eyes.
As you walk down the path, the glow of the lamplights move behind you and lots of clothing shops lower their suddens.
Suddenly your sibling stops, and you spot them staring at the store on your left-hand side. A fish and chip shop.
They rub their stomach, and look down. Shit. Did you both get to eat today? You try to remember, then you're reminded of how the fridge contained nothing edible, well, edible for a child.
{(if:$coins is true)[You look at the store and remember you brought some coins along with you. Perhaps they're enough to pay for a meal [[in the store?|store]] But also the store will be open later on when you rwturn, perhaps it's more wise to save it for now?]
(else-if:$coins is false)[You realise that you don't have any money on you. Your siblings look at you expectantly, and you look [[into the store |store]]]}
Or you could just [[continue ahead.|12]](set: $hungry to false)
(set: $coins to false)
You both enter the store, a bell's faint ringing above you. The scent of frying oil hangs in the air. You see battered sausages and fish illuminated by lamps, and the shopkeeper behind the counter looking at you two.
You've brought from the shopkeeper many times over your lifetime, it's a small town after all, you don't know much about him, not even his name, but you know he's a man of few words and a maker of great food.
(if:$coins is true)[You reach into your pockets and rustle and dump a pile of pennies onto the counter and say that you'll get some chips - nothing else. He nods, not bothering to count them - surprising, considering you're almost certain you're a few pence down. You'll remember that. You'll remember everything that matters. He gets to work and begins frying a new batch of chips.]
(else:)[You hesitantly approach the counter, and you mumble if they have any food spare because you have no cash, and vow that you'll pay them back. Somewhere inside you feel something fade, you're not sure what, but it doesn't matter right now so it quickly leaves your mind.
The shopkeeper looks at you and your sibling for a moment then nods. You'll remember that. You'll remember everything that matters. He gets to work and begins frying a new batch of chips.]
You both stand at the counter and you look down at your sibling as you ask what their favourite animal is. In the corner of your eye the shopkeeper piles the food onto a sheet of newspaper. Your sibling remarks "Sheep!".
You recieve the food and thank the shopkeeper profusely, and get two wooden forks from a small box. You put some vinegar and salt on the food. Your sibling pinches their nose at the smell of the vinegar, but you know they like the taste.
You both stand at the window counter as you hold the food low enough for your sibling to get with the fork. You eat slowly, as your sibling takes their fill.
Whilst they're eating you look out onto the street. People passing by, adults returning home, people in their cozy cars, people on the bus. Normalcy. You look back down, and your sibling splits a fish cake with a fork.
You didn't order a fish cake. You look back at the shopkeeper who averts his eyes.
Another favour. You're grateful, but also a little bit of conflict. Was it that obvious that you needed the charity in the first place? When you've eaten the rest of their leftovers, you thank them once more, your sibling mimicking your response, as you both [[leave|12]], the bell's ringing quieting as the door closes.{(if:$hungry is true and $coins is true)[You reassure your sibling that your coins will come in handy later. When you both return the shop will be open, and if the coin is unused by then you'll get enough for you two. Not for the bastards at home. You don't say that bit though.]
(if:$hungry is false)[Your sibling walks with a spring in their step, humming a song about fish and chips, and how they it makes them lick their lips.]
(if:$hungry is true)[You spot your sibling looking down at their free hand rubbing their stomach. They look at you looking at them and quickly look ahead.]}
You both walk down the street and the lamplights slowly begin to fade out behind you. Your sibling holds onto your hand tighter, but you reassure them that you know the path by heart. It's true. In rain, sleet and hail you've taken [[this path|13]]. It's a part of you now.You step down the wooden steps, onto the dirt, as the scent of the sea finally rise to your nose.
You begin singing a little song:
"Off the stone ground, onto the gentle slopes. Steady your steps and down we go!" You never said it was good. Regardless your sibling mimics your song, as you both approach the shore.
Waves slam onto the rocks dragging some down into the sea. You're in your element here, as you You slowly step down the slope down to the ground, until you're finally on the rocks. They clackle and shuffle beneath your feet as you let go of your sibling, and stretch your arms up high.
The world is simple here, no people, just waves hitting rocks here, over and over. Here you both can breath.
Your sibling positions beside you and imitates your stretch and exclaiming how that's a thing only old people do.
You look across the sea that seems to stretch around your home. You've never been away from here before, but you will. You know you will. You're both destined for greater things.
Your sibling complains this isn't a special place, she's been here before. They're right - it's [[further ahead|14]].The two of you step towards your destination, as gentle slopes of rock tower high above you two, rising from the ground. You always stare a little at this formation, wondering how it was made, you barely the steps taken to slowly sculpt this, wave after wave.
You slowly walk towards an unsuspecting cove entrance around the corner, you've never seen anyone mention it before or anyone inside it. It truly is only yours. You step into the gentle slope inside the cove, and you extend your arm to them.
As you both travel into the dark, you reassure them that the path has no sharp depths, a simple path - no risk involved.
Smooth rock now form a low entrance that you two easily pass through, as you do they ask how much further they need to go, how it feels colder now. You say how it's just a little further, you can leave immediately afterwards.
You're about to reveal it, your secret location, known to only to you, and you alone. Your one bastion in the universe.
You both inch forward, together you [[se-|15]]34 years have passed since that day, and you've just returned home off the train directly to the funeral service of the bastard people call your father.
Around you are are a bunch of vague acquaintances, mainly people who knew your father when you were younger, who line up to offer you their condolences, on that same rocky beach outside the cove.
You know that just around the corner and it takes all your energy to not just abandon the service and just run away from it.
Fog hangs in the air to the point where you can't make out any faces of the people you speak to, or maybe you just don't care enough about the people you're talking to. When they're out of sight the few souls who remain in this dying town whisper about how you have the audacity to return, and also how your moth- how the bastard called your mother isn't here.
You're a pile of sin to them, juicy, prime sin, ripe to be plucked, toyed with and gossiped about.
The Catholic priest [[beckons you forward.|16]]When you approach the priest, you get a sense of the priest's confusion by as he whispers your father's final wishes to you. The bastard's final request was irrational to the very end.
The priest speaks out to the audience - "His final wishes were that he be cast out to the sea, to be with his darling." He hands you a jar. The bastard specified it had to be you despite you not contacting him after you left.
It takes every bit of restraint to not dash the jar on the floor, letting the wide take him away, it would be one last fuck you, the concept of which delights you.
You look down into the jar, ashes crowding them all. Now you've never thrown ashes before, so the question is how do you throw them:
[[Quickly|quickly]]
[[Slowly|slowly]]Your hands dive in and it strikes you that ashes are heavy as you cup out them out of jar.
You throw them out like you're throwing a baseball - with every throw comes a splash and you strive to make as loud a noise as possible.
After a few pitches you realize you're having the time of your life.
Is this what playing catch is like? You slam him into sea again and again.
Your father's acquaintances gasp and whisper how you're the the devil's child and in the corner of your eye you see the priest's hands cover his mouth.
But you just don't give a shit.
Eventually you gain a macabre proficiency at pitching ashes into the sea - you learn how to throw ashes without it sifting through your fingers, how to pick them from the jar, the precise angle at which to insert your hand into the jar without hitting it.
By the end you rate yourself a 10/10 ash thrower. Sadly you reach the bottom of the jar and there's nothing left, and you have bits of ash on your hands. You quickly scrape the residue off your hands and you ask if you're meant to keep the jar.
The priest nods as [[someone approaches you.|mrsrennart]]As you're done and the service concludes, your old neighbour Mrs Rennart approaches you and asks how you're doing.
Somehow you see her eyes in complete clarity in the fog, her eyes fixated on every part of your face all at once somehow, the ends of hers gently sloping down into her wrinkles. You can tell how she purses her lips that she wants to say more, you're not sure what, but she doesn't.
[["I'm doing brilliant."|doing great]]
[["I'm doing great."|doing great]]
[["I'm doing good."|doing great]]You say that you're doing... The minute you say it, it fades from your mind. You just nod. You must be tired, the train ride here was dreadfully boring.
Mrs Rennart looks at you, the ends of her eyes sloping down even more. Why are they doing that?
She looks at you, and says "I'm here anytime you need me, wherever you are. Okay?"
You don't quite understand why she's saying that. You're doing just fine.
She nods her head and slowly walks away to speak to the priest to thank him.
Meanwhile stranger after stranger come up to you to give their condolences once again. You recognize some of them by their voices earlier and some of them look at your ashen hands, their gaze sharpening in rememberence of your act. They then flick their eyes up then shortly depart.
At the end of it all you slowly depart back [[to the old house.|17]] With a bottle of vodka of course.You push open the door to your old prison, and the stench of rotten food hits you. Open cans and instant dinners lay strewn about in the living room and in piles of leaking bags by the front door. Yet you can't quite muster the strength to clean them right now despite your disgust.
Your sleek black shoes leave dusty prints in their wake on the stairs, your hands sweeping dust off the bannister, passing a dulled cross you don't recall.
You ignore all the other rooms on the way, and [[head to your bedroom.|18]]It's the exactly the same. You don't know why, but that hits you.
You close the door behind you, as moonlight hits the baby blue walls.
You step up the bunkb ed ladder, 3 steps at a time.
When remember that when bunk bed came while they were growing up you instantly called dibs on the top, as if the altitude somehow made it the superior position, but your sibling instantly whined and cried about having the top bunk. They had a plan for the top bunk.
You sit down on the dusty sheets at the top, clouds of dust rising as you do. You choose to breath in, to capture the miracle of a lingering scent. Yet you immediately cough for a good 2 minutes - your lungs have really weakened over these last few years.
Then you fondly look up at the grand plan, somehow it still shines, just a little. (text-colour:#efe)[Green stars, Saturns, Neptunes] and (text-colour:#efe)[crescent moons] adorn the ceiling still, faded, yet still shining.
You wrestle the cap off your vodka bottle, then raise the bottle high.
[["To you."|19]]
You chug. They were smart, they had so much potential. It was unfair.
You chug. They were kind, pure, untainted by this fucked up world.
You chug. You. Why not you? You have no reason to be spared unlike them. You're a sinner. You brought this onto them.
You chug. You knew the world wasn't fair, you knew that from the very start. So why would you test it like that? Why would you try to make it fairer?
You chug. You didn't have to do anything. In fact, you're just like 'them'. You chug. Look at yourself. Imagine yourself in any of their positions. Who would be able to tell the difference? You're all just the same.
You chug. You didn't need to bring them out of the house. Your special place in the universe? No, it was a place for people to die. An execution ground.
You chug. You brought them there, and they-, they-
You stop. You think. [[What happened to them?|20]]
You cool your head against the bottle. Try as you might, against the stinging of your head nothing comes to mind. Did someone tell you what happened? Drowning was the official report. But did you see them drown? No, you didn't. You refuse to believe that was it. You're not at fault, you can't be. You've done it before, you would know how to keep them save.
You chug, and your is flush with heat. You try to retrace what happened...
[You got off the bed.]<bed|
(click: ?bed)[You get off the bed, slamming onto the ground immediately. Step one complete.]<bed2|
(click: ?bed2)[
(if:$coins is true)[[You got some pennies from secret stash in your wardrobe.]<wardrobe|
(click: ?wardrobe)[You crawl into the empty wardrobe, various bugs scuttle out, and you paw at the corner, nothing remains.]<wardrobe2|
(click: ?wardrobe2)[You walked out to the stairs.]<stairs|
(click: ?stairs)[You walk out the door to the stairs, as you look down the stairs warble. Why did the stairs always warble on the bad days?]<stairs2|] \
(else:)[[You walked out to the stairs.]<stairs|
(click: ?stairs)[You walk out the door to the stairs, as you look down the stairs warble. Why did the stairs always warble on the bad days?]<stairs2|]
]
{(click: ?stairs2)[You walked down the stairs and out the door.]<downstairs|
(click: ?downstairs)[You bumble down the stairs, crawling dowm them half of the way. You reach the entrance, attempting to open the door for a few minutes. Oh wait, you're an idiot, it's latched shut. You spend another good few attempting to resolve this accursed feature on the door. Eventually you do and you lean on the door to open it. Oh wait you're meant to [[pull it.|21]]]}(if:$visitedrennart is true)[[You rang the buzzer of Mrs Rennart's house ~~to ask for help~~.]<buzzer|
(click: ?buzzer)[You stumble to her gate, ring the buzzer, twice for good measure or was it thrice? Then youimmediately walk away. She wasn't there that time, so there's no reason to remain now.]<buzzer2|
(click: ?buzzer2)[You walked down into the main road.]<mainroad|]
(else:)[[You walked down into the main road.]<mainroad|]
(click: ?mainroad)[You walk down into the main road, and you stare a long time at people through their windows. Some of them close their curtains. What pricks.]<mainroad2|
(click: ?mainroad2)[You went in front of the fish and chip shop.]<chipshop|
(click: ?chipshop)[You stumble in front of the fish and chip shop, seeing a young man close the shutters.]<chipshop2|
(if:$hungry is true)[
(click: ?chipshop2)[You got some food in the fish and chip shop.]<ate|
(click: ?ate)[You mumble and barble about how he needs to open the shop immediately. It's imperative to solve an important mystery. The young man blinks and stares at you for a moment, then it occurs to him, you were the person at the funeral he was at. He says so, and you ask who he is.
He replies that he's the son of the owner of the shop, that his father knew you. You ask where he is, and he looks forlorn.
"He died a few years ago. It's just been me and my mum ever since."
Suddenly you lose your balance and slouch against the shutters. No, no no, nonono. You never repaid him. You were planning to today. You're an adult now. You can afford to repay your debt. In fact you can repay more than the debt. That's what good people do. You're a good person.
You look at his son, who's backs away slightly at the look in your eyes. You rustle in your pocket and pull out a clean 50, you pull out the son's hands and shove it in.
He's visible confused as you smile and [say "Thank you Mr Gressham."]<eat2|]
]
(else:)[
(click: ?chipshop2)[You didn't get any food from the fish and chip shop.]<didnteat|
(click: ?didnteat)[You regret that.]<eat2|
]
(click: ?eat2)[You walk [[down the stone road|22]], a little melody humming in your mind.]
The next few days are a blur of the scent of medical alcohol, murmurs of and bright light behind your eyelids. You fade in and out of consciousness,
"Are you awake?" A voice makes sense to you - presumably from a member of staff. "Do you remember what happened?"
[
["Yes."]<yes|
["No."]<no|
]<reply|
{(click: ?yes)[(replace: ?reply)["Yes."](show: ?missreply)]
[You open your mouth to speak those words, then you start coughing uncontrollably. Your words reduce to a groan[...]<reply2|](missreply|
(click: ?no)[(replace: ?links)["No."](show: ?sorryreply)]
[You open your mouth to speak those words, then you start coughing uncontrollably. Your words reduce to a groan[...]<reply2|](sorryreply|}
(click: ?reply2)["Your neighbour, Mrs Rennart was worried after you rang her doorbell last night. She noticed that you weren't home and that your door was open." "She immediately called the police. Then Mr Gressham's son reached out, saying he recognized you on the street due to your interaction with him. Thanks to them you're alive."
You nod, because that's all the energy you have to muster. Then lay back done, staring at the sky, and the next few days are a [[vague limbo of white and black...|Ending.2]]][You walked down the wooden steps, and onto the slope.]<steps|
(click: ?steps)[You lean off the steps and skitter left and right down onto the slope, bottle in hand. It's completely dark now, but somehow you know the way down to the beach. You're not sure why.]<steps2|
(click: ?steps2)[You were on the beach and you looked out into the distance.]<beach|
(click: ?beach)[You look out into the sea, and all you see is a gentle dark, right now the sea seems stiller than ever.
You try to chug from the bottle but there's nothing in it.
You use your newly honed ash-throwing skills to launch the bottle far into the distance. You're sure your father would appreciate the gift.
You hear a gentle 'splish', quickly drowned out by the sound of the wind and the haze in your head.
You stretch out your arms and attempt to breathe in - to feel the expanse of the sea, then suddenly a gurgle rises in your stomach and moments later you're painting the ground with vomit. You don't feel like you can relax after that.
[You look in the direction of the cove.]<beach2|]
(click: ?beach2)[You walked up to the cove, and [[entered.|23]]]You stand at the entrace, staring into the darkness. Every breath you take makes you sick and you struggle to breathe a little. You take a vague half-breath and enter the cove.
You crouch a little to enter the cave, as your hands grope around for walls to lean on. [You slowly move forward.]<forward|
(click: ?forward)[The darkness truly envelops you here, a vague weight descending upon you. You don't remember it being so dark, you squint your eyes to discern the path, but you see nothing. You stumble, trip and fall, and eventually you just end up crawling on the floor. But you feel a tug somehow, after some point you know you're on the right path.]<forward2|
(click: ?forward2)[You moved ahead, and that's where your memory ends.]<end|
(click: ?end)[[[You move ahead.|24]]]Yes. This is what you wanted to show them.
The gentle glow of (text-colour:#80ff80)[green luminous] stretches in a canvas above you in an array of shades and depth. Your eyes lay fixated on the moss. Here, everything is just... //right//. Here everything just... //is// - here you have no desire to learn, explain, think about anything - it's perfectly fine that way.
You move closer, drawn to the lights above you, then you hear something, amongst the gentle dripping of water.
"Is it really you?"
[[Your head turns to the source.|25]]They're right there. The one person you've always cared for. Your sibling. Your hope.
They sit by the water, their eyes locking with yours, their face suddenly scrunches up, tears running down.
"You're here."
They stand up, their feet leaving the water and run towards you.
You run to meet them, your eyes recording every moment of their existence.
"Is it really you?"
You nod and your hands wrap around them. They're the same as you remember them. Every cell in your mind ignites, furiously deciphering what you're seeing, hearing, feeling.
But you furiously dismiss logic - it's never done anything for you. They're here. That's all that matters.
You grab their hands, your thumbs recalling the feel of their palms, as you kneel to look them in the eye.
[
["I missed you."]<miss|
["I'm so sorry."]<sorry|
]<links|
{(click: ?miss)[(replace: ?links)["I missed you."](show: ?missreply)]
[Their eyes glitter, the light grows with every tear that falls down.
"Where were you?" They say, as their palms paw at their tears.
You open your arms, and they run in. Their tiny arms clinging to your suit.
Your arms nest them into you, every sob of theirs absorbed into you and every sob of yours into them.
You remember that you said that you wouldn't cry in front of them, but you think an exception can be made[...]<reply1|](missreply|
(click: ?sorry)[(replace: ?links)["I'm so sorry."](show: ?sorryreply)]
[They step up to you, their small fists painlessly hitting your front, over and over. You stand in silence, as the only sound that echoes are sobs and hits that grow gentler and gentler, till their head rests on you.
They say nothing - you both know nothing needs to be said for now.
A fire fills you, burning away everything that tortured you. For once, everything has potential, all might be fine. your mind feels more clearer than it has ever been, clog in your soul is gone now, replaced with one thing. Them. They are all that matters[...]<reply1|](sorryreply|}
(click: ?reply1)[As they rest on you. As the initial euphoria fades. As the fire fades from your mind. As you stand in all the colors again, logic creeps into your mind - that is - [//"How is this happening?"//]<how|]
(click: ?how)[
[Ignore your thoughts..]<hope|
[Ruin everything.]<nohope|
]<hopes|
{(click: ?hope)[(replace: ?hopes)[Ignore your thoughts.](show: ?hopereply)]
[Why question hope? You hug them tighter - what is lost is now found and it must never be lost again. Eventually you begin feeling... [tired...]<reply2|](hopereply|
(click: ?nohope)[(replace: ?hopes)[Ruin everything.](show: ?nohopereply)]
[You look down at them. This. What is this? What is going o-
They turn their head up, turning to your eyes. The bottom of their eyes are a gentle red, snot runs down their nose and their arms shiver, and so do yours when you see them.
What were you thinking of again?
You immediately take off your overcoat and place it on them - a smile crests their lips, as they pull it closer. You feel a breeze suddenly, and you shiver[...]<reply2|](nohopereply|}
(click: ?reply2)["Let's go home."]<home|
(click: ?home)[You stand up and take their hand. It's been so long, You look at the exit, you can both move on.
You take a step forwa- "No." You hear behind you.
"I don't want to go out of here. //I can't.//"
"It's okay. It's safe. I promise, let's go outside-"
"''//I can't.//''" They look dead into your eyes, shivering more than before.
You notice something as you grip onto their hand - it's so cold. Your blood rushes in a desperate attempt to heat you, every attempt wasted as it dissipates into them. You look down at your hand, trembling incontrollably.
They notice you looking down and their hand recoils from yours, shivering, and tears begin to fill their eyes again.
//Unnatural.// That word rises to the top of your thoughts. //What is this? How is this happening? Is this even them//?
As you both stand in the cave, one question comes to both of your minds - [what now?]<whatnow|]
(click: ?whatnow)[
[["I'm taking you with me. No matter what."|Take]]
[["I'll come back. I promise."|Return]]
[[Run.|Run]]
]
"I'll come back." You say. "I promise."
Their eyes stare at you for a few moments, and close for a few moments in contemplation. You gently rise up and hold their hands tighter. "I'll come back in the morning." You don't know what's going on right now, but you don't really care. You have hope now, but you can't stay out any longer - you feel goosebumps run up your skin.
"Wait for me, okay?" You say, to no response, as they look down, eyes closed.
You rise up and begin to turn, until suddenly they grip you. "Please, I have to go for now." You say, their grip growing tighter and tighter. Colder and colder.
You turn around, looking at them, both of their hands clamped one of yours, unnaturally strong. They look at you, tears running down their eyes.
"Please, not again."
"No, I can't stay any longer. Come with me." You plead. You want to stay to, but if you stay any longer you'll die too.
You refuse to budge, and they look down again, you sigh, taking it as a sign of release. But they don't release you.
Suddenly their eyes rise up in determination, as they pull you into the lake.
The echo of your splash ceases as your head falls beneath the boundary of the water, instantly the cold pierces every nerve, every crevice.
You look right into their eyes as you sink, their figure falling into the water after you, blocking out the mosses' light.
You recognize the look in their eyes now - you've seen many times before, when you had to leave them at their first day at school, whenever you left for school and they were too young, and the ones you used to show when others left you. They're just lonely. So very lonely.
Your body begins to spasm from the cold, and traces of water begin immolating your throat.
"It's okay. Breathe." They permit, as you look up.
[[Resist for your life.|No]]
[[Isn't it okay to stay?|Yes]]
Your hands dive in and it strikes you that ashes are heavy as you cup out them out of jar. You gently lift them out, then throw them in an arc out into the sea. Their specks make no sound as they fall into the water, the waves drowning out all sound.
Whilst you're throwing it out, your father's acquaintances whisper how you're the the devil's child for throwing him out so quickly. You're rather astonished by that, considering you made the conscious decision to go slowly. But in the end, you don't care too much.
Eventually you become slightly more adept at sowing his remains into the sea - how to lift them from the jar, the precise angle at which to insert your hand into the jar.
In a blink you reach the bottom of the jar, and suddenly there's a knot inside your chest that twists a little. You attempt to breathe a little, but it doesn't untie. You hope it will in the future though.
Your hands are covered in bits of ash, and you gentle rub them into the jar, holding it to your hands.
You nod at the priest as [[someone approaches you.|mrsrennart]]You turn and run. This isn't them. This is a monster, an abomination, at best a sick hallucination.
"Don't leave me! Please." The being's voice fades behind you, their steps approaching you.
You stumble on the ground a few times as you run away, their sobs and steps fading into the distance behind you. Bits of rock scrape against your arms and knees, you trip on your face, blood pouring out of your nose, and your eyes bruise on the pebbles on the beach when you fall.
You run up the main road back to your house, strangers staring at you as your state, muttering behind your back.
You run into your house and up the stairs into your bed, cowering under your old blanket. You stay there, shivering and shuddering desperately wishing for [sleep...]<sleep|
(click: ?sleep)[You wake up, but the shivering doesn't stop, you vomit on the floor, and a moment of clarity hits you in between the vomiting and haze. What if that was real? For the first time in so long that you felt alive, you had hope.
If that was real, you need to know. You're desperate, for a shred of anything.
You run out in the dawn to the cave, you see the (text-colour:cyan)[gently blue sky] above you, the (text-colour:#58b847)[grass] on the slope, the foam on the beach, and you enter the darkness, groping your way into the secret spot, seeing the (text-colour:lime)[moss glow], the ground an ombre red, the (text-colour:#37bdc8)[lake's blue]. Yet they aren't there.
You return to that spot every day, never selling the house in the end, yet they're never there. Every time you return the ceiling glows slightly less green, the ground becomes less red, the lake less blue. Then it hits you - you might never know, perhaps you'll spend endless years in uncertainty until you die. You had a chance that time, and you didn't take it. You scratch at your head, your skin, your eyes to feel something to settle you, to ground you. You lay on the floor, sit, roll, scream, cry, stare, laugh, jump, all the motions, scratching more and more till all you ever see is (text-colour:#b72424)[blood red].
The End.]"I'm taking you with me. No matter what." You vow, as you take their hand, turning to the exit.
That sudden strength that they had instantly dissipates, as a faint "Okay." echoes behind you.
You both can finally leave, return to the start. You grip their hand harder, as you step forward. The lights fade behind you, as you drag your sibling behind you, their pittering behind you.
As you approach the exit, in the long tunnels, you feel their hands grow warmer, gentler, lighter.
You can do this.
"It hurts." They moan behind you, slight splutters coming behind you.
"Just a little further okay? We can do this."
//I've got this.// You think, as you crawl through the tunnels, their hands growing hotter and hotter behind you. Coughs are stifled behind hands behind, yet you both press forward.
Eventually the sounds fade behind you, as you finally spy moonlight. You clamber out, and you finally look behind you.
Nothing. But you felt the sensation of the hand, you did.
You immediately return down the passage, crying out their name to no responses but the thudding of waves on the walls. You eventually return down to the cave and look around realizing that everything is gone. The moss above you is a faint grey, green no longer, as it all falls to the ground. The red on the floor is dull and faded, and as you look into the water it is blue no more. What remains is pure darkness, extending far into the depths.
You remain in your father's home, quitting your job, eating canned food and instant meals to figure out what happened, any connection between the flora and what occured on that day, any similar occurances in local history. You even hire divers to explore the depths of the pond, they all they report is how the only thing that lies bottom is merely dead algae. Yet you can always do more, you'' never stop trying to learn what happened, you'll need to study more, learn more, reflect more on that day. Only then will you learn the truth, only then will you be liberated.
The End.Yet you eventually wake up from that limbo, as you become as physically recovered as someone can be in that state. You're discharged with a crutch as you eventually return home. Mrs Rennart insists on helping you recover and you blindly nod - forming a thought hurt too much.
The next few days are a haze of Mrs Rennart cooking and cleaning the house, as you just sit around watching television, eating, pissing, existing. However, slowly but surely your senses return - just a little.
You eventually help clean, just a little, but you do.
You muster enough energy to boilwater by yourself one day and when Mrs Rennart looks at you she begins crying. You're not sure why though.
After many days you look out the window, and you step out of your front door, and sort of just linger between your door and the (text-colour:#87ceeb)[outside]. Eventually you feel incredibly ill and retreat indoors, the entirety of your body wanting to expel itself momentarily.
It takes a while, but you do eventually go out. First onto the main road, then to visit Mrs Rennart's house. To the main street to pick up some food.
One day you and Mrs Rennart walk past the path down to the beach, and you stare at it, and she hurriedly presses you forward, as your head stares at the path.
You eventually begin thinking about the path, once again. The cave, the events, them. It begins to flow like a wave that you can't stop. You try to return to the blissful state of nullity, but you fail and you spend days crouching on the floor.
Not by will, thought or anything, but somehow you arise up, everything - slightly more bearable. You go out more again, despite Mrs Rennart's worries, and you go out again.
But it looms. Everything you look out on the path, you think of that time. At night it occupies your dreams, and you step out more. Then you begin taking steps out at night. You don't tell Mrs Rennart, you know she would become frantic for your sake. At times you wonder why - you're not the child she knew anymore. It hurts a little that you would willingly make someone hurt . Slowly and steadily you realize how wide the sky is at night, how cold it is the earth is, how dead the wind is, how lonely it is to be outside.
You retreat in and you feel slightly less lonely - no one is around you right now, but you still are. Over the next few days you go outside at the break of dawn, further and further, at first the road outside your house, then the main road.
Eventually you approach the slope down to the beach, and you take a [[breath of salty air as you begin your descent.|Ending.3]]
You stand on the (text-colour:#998291)[shore], in front of you is the cave. In there you saw them. Even now what you sure, were they fake, were they real?
Even now you have a tenuous grasp on reality. You step closer to the entrance - inside the light fades, the loud rush of water fading into the gentle thud of waves on the walls.
You slowly inhale, turning away from the entrance and walking to the middle of the (text-colour:#998291)[rocky shore]. You stare out into the (text-colour:#eebe97)[dawn] and close your eyes, the only sounds, the whirling wind and waves hitting rocks and small round glass.
The End.Following their command, your mind obeys. Water flows into your mouth. The water enters your oesophagus, your lungs, burning, stabbing, killing you, but the pain is brief compared to everything you've endured thus far.
As you sink to the bottom you are enveloped by the algae's glow. They descend effortlessly to you and their warm arms hug you. Their heads rest on your shoulders, and yours on theirs.
"Thank you."
Both your bodies transmute into flame, weighed down no longer. A brilliant light echoes past your eyelids. You've always wanted the light, and all its (text-colour:(hsl:0,0.8039,0.5,1))[c](text-colour:(hsl:30,0.8039,0.5,1))[o](text-colour:(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,1))[l](text-colour:(hsl:90,0.8039,0.5,1))[o](text-colour:(hsl:120,0.8039,0.5,1))[r](text-colour:(hsl:150,0.8039,0.5,1))[s](text-colour:(hsl:180,0.8039,0.5,1))[.] (text-colour:(hsl:210,0.8039,0.5,1))[Y](text-colour:(hsl:240,0.8039,0.5,0.94))[o](text-colour:(hsl:270,0.8039,0.5,0.89))[u](text-colour:(hsl:300,0.8039,0.5,0.83))['](text-colour:(hsl:330,0.8039,0.5,0.78))[r](text-colour:(hsl:360,0.8039,0.5,0.72))[e] (text-colour:(hsl:390,0.8039,0.5,0.61))[h](text-colour:(hsl:420,0.8039,0.5,0.56))[o](text-colour:(hsl:450,0.8039,0.5,0.5))[m](text-colour:(hsl:480,0.8039,0.5,0.44))[e] (text-colour:(hsl:510,0.8039,0.5,0.33))[n](text-colour:(hsl:540,0.8039,0.5,0.28))[o](text-colour:(hsl:570,0.8039,0.5,0.22))[w](text-colour:(hsl:600,0.8039,0.5,0.17))[.](text-colour:(hsl:630,0.8039,0.5,0.11))[.](text-colour:(hsl:660,0.8039,0.5,0.06))[.]
The End."Breath." They permit.
But you don't, your legs kick furiously against the water, yet your clothes act as anchors as you attempt to reach the top. Your arms flail for salvation.
They see your attempt, and their face weeps at your betrayal.
You kick more and more, you eventually pass their descending form.
"Again." They state. "You're going again?"
Instinctually you open your mouth to say something. Anything. But instead water runs down your windpipe, bubbles leave rise up.
They glide to you, their hands gently settling on you as your body begins to fail, as you begin to fall.
"I'm so sorry. But it gets better." They reassure, and they're right. From the cold blooms heat, your convulsions cease, and your eyes close.
{(if: $visitedrennart is true and $hungry is false)[Both your bodies transmute into flame, weighed down no longer. A brilliant light echoes past your eyelids. You've always wanted the light, and all its [(text-colour:(hsl:0,0.8039,0.5,1))[c](text-colour:(hsl:30,0.8039,0.5,1))[o](text-colour:(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,1))[l](text-colour:(hsl:90,0.8039,0.5,1))[o](text-colour:(hsl:120,0.8039,0.5,1))[r](text-colour:(hsl:150,0.8039,0.5,1))[s](text-colour:(hsl:180,0.8039,0.5,1))[.](text-colour:(hsl:210,0.8039,0.5,1))[.](text-colour:(hsl:240,0.8039,0.5,1))[.]]<ending|
(click: ?ending)[But not like this. You've still want something more, you're greedy, you're sad, you're sick, you're broken. Yet somehow you have the audacity to want [[more?|Ending.1]]]]
(else: )[Both your bodies transmute into flame, weighed down no longer. A brilliant light echoes past your eyelids. You've always wanted the light, and all its (text-colour:(hsl:0,0.8039,0.5,1))[c](text-colour:(hsl:30,0.8039,0.5,1))[o](text-colour:(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,1))[l](text-colour:(hsl:90,0.8039,0.5,1))[o](text-colour:(hsl:120,0.8039,0.5,1))[r](text-colour:(hsl:150,0.8039,0.5,1))[s](text-colour:(hsl:180,0.8039,0.5,1))[.](text-colour:(hsl:210,0.8039,0.5,1))[.](text-colour:(hsl:240,0.8039,0.5,1))[.]]}