Welcome home, my friend. You've been away a long time. Things are quite different around these parts.

Cat Nip Corporation: the most evil company to ever be spawned into existence.

They put on the friendly face of caring for cats and people, but they are really just a law firm that will destroy anyone they can.

You will learn their evil ways in time, but first we need to get you settled.

Obviously you have noticed my hideous scarring.

It was during the battle, with your folks. I mean, not "with" with your folks, I mean just at the same battle together. We were friends. Like, total besties. For real.

Anyway, they were there and so was I, and we (being total besties) were fighting The Big One, together, as a team.

During this horrific battle, quite possibly the most epic ever, there was a moment when I was vulnerable and one of the minions of The Big One jumped me.

Now, normally I'd be disposing of it pretty quickly, but I was powering up my next attack against The Big One, so I wasn't preparing for these other side attacks.

I say minion, but it was pretty serious, at least a couple thousand grams of it, launching right at me. I barely had time to adjust myself before the deadly claws made contact.

If it had been a little bit to the side, a few inches deeper, and had I not been wearing a helmet, then I may not be here today, and you'd likely not be standing here awe-stricken at this story.

You're too kind. I imagine you are holding back the vomit just looking at me. I don't blame you.

I guess your folks ranch will have been passed on to you now.

I will help you get settled, but we have a great battle ahead of us.

Oh... well, ok. Umm... I guess I'll just be... off then. Err... good luck?

Err, possibly. We may have bigger problems though.

I'm not surprised you don't recognise me. You were only a little tacker back then, and that was before my hideous disfiguration.

It was your folks that saved me from The Big One.

They saved a bunch of us around here, and we don't forget these things.

After what they did for all of us, and then the CNC coming in and stealing your family recipe.

We tried to fight them, you know! For your folks. But they lawyered us good. Not many of us made it out of there the same.

Old mate Billy is still working off his fees. They've got him in the Fodder Fields.