Shakespeare Is Broken

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<div align='center'><div style="height:5px;font-size:24px;">[[Start->Limbo]] <div style="height:5px;font-size:18px;">To be! There is no question!</div> (if: (saved-games:) contains "Slot A")[ (link: "Load")[(load-game:"Slot A")] </div><div align='center' style="height:5px;font-size:18px;">The valiant die many times before their deaths.</div>](else:)[<div align='center'><div style="height:5px;font-size:24px;">Load <div style="height:5px;font-size:18px;">Nothing will come of nothing. (You haven't saved anything yet.)</div>]](set: $inv to (a:))(set: $notes to (a:))

(set: $hour to (history:)'s length)(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: (passage:)'s name is "inventory")[](else-if: (passage:)'s name is "your notebook")[](else-if: (passage:)'s tags contains "donotshowinventory")[](else-if: (passage:)'s name is "Years")[](else-if: (passage:)'s tags contains "donotshowyears")[](else-if: (passage:)'s name is "Title")[<br><br><br><br> ---- <span class="right" style="font-size: 55%"><i>Shakespeare Is Broken</i>: an adventure most thrilling by <a href="http://www.ramseyess.com" target="_blank">Ramsey Ess</a>.</span>] (else:)[ --- <span class="left">[[Check your pockets.->inventory]]</span><span class="right">{(link:"Save game.")[ (if:(save-game:"Slot A", "$chappp"))[(set: $chappp to (text: $yourChapter))Game saved! ](else: )[ So, sorry. I couldn't save your game.] ]} | {(if: (saved-games:) contains "Slot A")[ (link: "Load game.")[(load-game:"Slot A")]](else: )[Nothing yet saved.] } </span> ]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<h2>Inventory</h2>(if: $inv's length > 0)[Your pockets contain (print: $inv.join(", ")), and [[your notebook]].](else:)[Currently, you just have [[your notebook]].] (click: "a quill")[(display: "a quill")](click: "some ink")[(display: "some ink")](click: "a slice of pizza")[(display: "a slice of pizza")](click: "a disgusting slice of pizza")[(display: "a disgusting slice of pizza")](click: "heaven bucks")[(display: "heaven bucks")](click: "a drum machine")[(display: "a drum machine")](click: "a recipe")[(display: "a recipe")](click: "Julia Child's goose recipe")[(display: "Julia Child's goose recipe")](click: "a mix CD")[(display: "a mix CD")](click: "a mini boom box")[(display: "a mini boom box")](click: "sunglasses")[(display: "sunglasses")](click: "a bloody dagger")[(display: "a bloody dagger")](click: "a portrait of young Juliet")[(display: "a portrait of young Juliet")](click: "a wire hanger")[(display: "a wire hanger")](click: "a bottle of perfume")[(display: "a bottle of perfume")](click: "a cheap plastic cup")[(display: "a cheap plastic cup")](click: "some bullets")[(display: "some bullets")](click: "a pair of sensible shoes")[(display: "a pair of sensible shoes")](click: "Riff's note")[(display: "Riff's note")](click: "a poncho")[(display: "a poncho")](click: "a skateboard")[(display: "a skateboard")](click: "a Danish newspaper")[(display: "a Danish newspaper")](click: "a broken whistle")[(display: "a broken whistle")](click: "a bunch of old Danish coins")[(display: "a bunch of old Danish coins")](click: "Yorick")[(display: "Yorick")](click: "some picked off pizza toppings")[(display: "some picked off pizza toppings")](click: "Hamlet's whistle repair kit voucher")[(display: "Hamlet's whistle repair kit voucher")](click: "a whistle repair kit")[(display: "a whistle repair kit")](click: "a functional whistle")[(display: "a functional whistle")](click: "a book of Charles Dickens' stories")[(display: "a book of Charles Dickens' stories")](click: "a thick book about screenwriting")[(display: "a thick book about screenwriting")](click: "a very confusing map")[(display: "a very confusing map")](click: "a very comfortable pillow")[(display: "a very comfortable pillow")](click: "a very thin rope")[(display: "a very thin rope")](click: "five bloody daggers")[(display: "five bloody daggers")](click: "a crown")[(display: "a crown")](click: "a “sword”")[(display: "a “sword”")] --- (if:(history:)'s last is "your notebook")[(link-goto: "Return.", (history:)'s 3rdlast)](else-if:(history:)'s last is "repair")[(link-goto: "Return.", (history:)'s 3rdlast)](else-if:(history:)'s last is "flip through it")[(link-goto: "Return.", (history:)'s 3rdlast)](else:)[(link-goto: "Return.", (history:)'s last)]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: (passage:)'s name is "inventory")[](else-if: (passage:)'s tags contains "donotshowheader")[](else-if: (passage:)'s name is "Title")[](else:)[(if: ($hour) % 2 is 0)[(if: $yourChapter is "Ch. I")[<div align='center' style='font-size: 75%;'><i>I. All's Swell for Dead Will.</i><h2 style="float: right; width: 34%; text-align: right;font-size: 100%;">(print: $hour)</h2></div><div style="height:10px;font-size:1xpx;"> </div>](else-if: $yourChapter is "Ch. II")[<div align='center' style='font-size: 75%;'><i>II. A Tragedy of Errors.</i><h2 style="float: right; width: 34%; text-align: right;font-size: 100%;">(print: $hour)</h2></div><div style="height:10px;font-size:1xpx;"> </div>](else-if: $yourChapter is "Ch. III")[<div align='center' style='font-size: 75%;'><i>III. A Lover's Many Complaints.</i><h2 style="float: right; width: 34%; text-align: right;font-size: 100%;">(print: $hour)</h2></div><div style="height:10px;font-size:1xpx;"> </div>](else-if: $yourChapter is "Ch. IV")[<div align='center' style='font-size: 75%;'><i>IV. Much Ado About Dying.</i><h2 style="float: right; width: 34%; text-align: right;font-size: 100%;">(print: $hour)</h2></div><div style="height:10px;font-size:1xpx;"> </div>](else-if: $yourChapter is "Ch. V")[<div align='center' style='font-size: 75%;'><i>V. As We Like It.</i><h2 style="float: right; width: 34%; text-align: right;font-size: 100%;">(print: $hour)</h2></div><div style="height:10px;font-size:1xpx;"> </div>](else-if: $yourChapter is "Ch. VI")[<div align='center' style='font-size: 75%;'><i>VI. The Merchant of Menace.</i><h2 style="float: right; width: 34%; text-align: right;font-size: 100%;">(print: $hour)</h2></div><div style="height:10px;font-size:1xpx;"> </div>](else-if: $yourChapter is "Ch. VII")[<div align='center' style='font-size: 75%;'><i>VII. Hard Labour's Won.</i><h2 style="float: right; width: 34%; text-align: right;font-size: 100%;">(print: $hour)</h2></div><div style="height:10px;font-size:1xpx;"> </div>]](else:)[<div id="header"><h2 style="float: left; width: 7%; text-align: left;font-size: 75%;">(print: $hour)</h2><div align='center' style='font-size: 75%;'><i>SHAKESPEARE IS BROKEN.</i></div>]]]

<br>You have access to all kinds of modern writing devices, but when your quill becomes dull, you enjoy taking the occasional pause in your writing to grab a knife, a new feather, and carving a fresh nib.<br>

(font:"Raleway")[(live: 6.4s)[<h2 style="float: right; width: 34%; text-align: right;font-size: 50%;">[[Skip titles.->I. Heaven]]</h2>] <div class="floating"><h2><center>(colour: yellow)[Another day in heaven...]</h2></center></div> (live: 3s)["Good morning, Mr. Shakespeare," says The Voice.] (live: 6s)[(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“What is on the schedule f'r this aft'rnoon?” you, William Shakespeare, say.]] (live: 9s)["An emergency meeting has been placed on your calendar by Heaven Resources, Will."] (live: 12s)[(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“Alas! I has't band practice with Jimi Hendrix at noon. What is it that the meeting concerns?”]] (live: 15s)["Well," says The Voice, [["it would seem..."->Title Screen]]] ]

<h1 class="animate__animated animate__zoomInDown animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/logo.png"></h1>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(live: 3s)[<center>A game of mistaken legacies.</center></div> <center><h2>[[Go forth.->I. Heaven]]<center>]] <audio src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/theme.mp3" autoplay>

<br>A small container of regular, black India ink. Your quill never seems to run out of ink here, but you like having it for safety.<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<div align='center' style='font-size: 75%;'><i>THE NOTEBOOK OF W. SHAKESPEARE</i></div> (if: $notes contains "note6")[(display: "note6")](if: $yorick is "taken")[](else-if: $yorick is "given")[](else:)[(if: $notes contains "some killer topical material")[(display: "some killer topical material")]](if: $notes contains "note5")[(display: "note5")](if: $yorick is "taken")[(if: $notes contains "some killer topical material")[(display: "some killer topical material")]](else-if: $yorick is "given")[(if: $notes contains "some killer topical material")[(display: "some killer topical material")]](if: $notes contains "note4")[(display: "note4")](if: $notes contains "note3")[(display: "note3")](if: $notes contains "note2")[(display: "note2")](if: $notes contains "note1")[(display: "note1")] --- (if:(history:)'s last is "inventory")[(link-goto: "Return.", (history:)'s 2ndlast)](else:)[(link-goto: "Return.", (history:)'s last)]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“Mmmyeh!" you say as you put your hand up. You put your hand into your breeches to make sure you brought your quill. “Come on now, <i>Shakes</i>. I know you ain't just gonna give me the over the shoulder!" There's only one person who would call you that. It's your neighbor. Do you [[ignore him->Central]] or [[give a quick “hello?"->turn to chat]]]

(if: $yourChapter is "Ch. I")[<u>IDEAS</u> - The Tragedy of Prince Andrew - My horse for a kingdom <strike>- Romeo's Revenge</strike> - A war set in the reaches of outer space(set: $readnotes to "yes")](else:)[<u>(link-reveal:"IDEAS")[(show: ?hlgdc)]</u> |hlgdc)[- The Tragedy of Prince Andrew - My horse for a kingdom <strike>- Romeo's Revenge</strike> - A war set in the reaches of outer space(set: $readnotes to "yes")]]

(if: $ignoredbiggie is "no")[](else:)[(set: $ignoredbiggie to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(set: $central to "yes")You arrive at the Central Office, pretty much just by thinking about it. Heaven's pretty neat like that. The front doors slide open and you are once again greeted by The Voice.(font:"Raleway")[ "Good morning, Will. To what do we owe the pleasure?"] “Aye, I wast told I has't an em'rgency meeting this morning. By thee. Thou told me that." (font:"Raleway")["Yes, I see. With Saint Genesius. Starting very shortly."] Genesius of Rome. Patron saint of comedians and actors. You know him well. Nice enough guy, but very chatty for a guy who was beheaded. (font:"Raleway")["Just tell me the secure codeword and I'll let you right up."] You don't know anything about a codeword. You tell The Voice this. But it insists: no codeword, no meeting. Do you [[make up a codeword]] or [[return home]] to figure this out?]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“(either: "Academe", "Aerial", "Anchovy", "Arch-villain", "Bachelorship", "Batty", "Bedroom", "Birthplace", "Bloodsucking", "Bodikins", "Broomstaff", "Budger", "Buzzer", "Catlike", "Chimney-top", "Clangor", "Consanguineous", "Coppernose", "Dalmatian", "Dawn", "Dexterously", "Dewdrop", "Dwindle", "Enrapt", "Eyedrop", "Fashionmonger", "Gallantry", "Hedge-pig", "Hobnail", "Keech", "Kickie-wickie", "Nook-shotten", "Oppugnancy", "Passando", "Pignut", "Pushpin", "Rawboned", "Ruttish", "Skimble-skamble", "Slugabed", "Spleenful", "Wittolly", "Wry-necked", "Zany")," you attempt.](set: $codeword to $codeword +1) (font:"Raleway")["I'm sorry," The Voice responds, "that is not the correct codeword."] (font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Do you want to [[make up another codeword->make up a codeword]] or figure the odds aren't in your favor and [[return home]]?]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Before you know it, you're back at your apartment. Codeword. <i>Hmmmm.</i> You could either (if: $notes contains "note2")[[[search the inside of your apartment->search]]](else:)[(if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe", "heaven bucks", "a drum machine"))[[[search the inside of your apartment again->searchnobiggie]]](else:)[[[search the inside of your apartment->searchnobiggie]]]], (link-reveal: "ask your neighbor if he has received any of your mail")[(show: ?tronge)] (happens all the time), or [[head back to Central->Central2]]. |tronge)[Almost as if your mind was being read, you hear a familiar voice: “Yo, Shakes!" Only your neighbor calls you that. [[Perfect timing!->turn to chat]]]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $notes contains "note2")[Goodness, your apartment is a mess. Ruffs and doublets and breeches strewn across the floor. A true Elizabethan bachelor's abode. Drum machine. Probably on the [[kitchen table]]. Or your [[writing desk]]. No. [[The bedroom->the bedroom]], maybe.]](else:)[(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Goodness, your apartment is a mess. Ruffs and doublets and breeches strewn across the floor. A true Elizabethan bachelor's abode. If that codeword was on paper, it's most likely on your [[writing desk]] or your [[kitchen table]]. Or, let's be honest, [[your bedroom floor->the bedroom]].]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You step in the doors again, and state your business to The Voice. (if: $notes contains "note2")[(font:"Raleway")["Hello, Will," says The Voice. "Do you have your codeword?"] “Oberon," you say. (font:"Raleway")["I'm sorry," The Voice responds, "that is not the correct codeword."] What? All that? For no- (font:"Raleway")["Just kidding. Sorry. Saint Genesius will see you now."] The large office doors open at the far end of the hallway. You begin to walk. “Uttering that a lie was delivered in jest doesn't suddenly imbue humor," you say, sagely. You [[enter the room]], angry at a disembodied voice.](else:)[You still don't know the codeword. Do you want to [[make up a codeword]] or [[get out of here->return home]]?]]

<br>(if: $yourChapter is "Ch. I")[The official currency of heaven. Yep. There's money in heaven. It's unlimited, but it exists. It's pretty inclusive, though. Each coin has a picture of a different deity stamped on it. You're currently carrying have 2 Buddahs and three Odins. (Roughly $10.30, USD.)](else:)[(if: $friar is "absent")[You kept one for some reason. It's still useless, though.](else:)[You are no longer in heaven. This means these are absolutely useless here.]]<br>

(if: $yourChapter is "Ch. I")[<u>THE CODEWORD</u> “Oberon"](else:)[<u>(link-reveal:"THE CODEWORD")[(show: ?hlgdb)]</u> |hlgdb)[“Oberon"]] ----

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[On the kitchen table you see a pizza box, a used plate, and yesterday's edition of <i>The Guardian Angel</i>. Do you [[open the pizza box]](if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[](else:) [, move to your [[writing desk]]](if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[, go [[back to Biggie]]](else:)[, or head to [[the bedroom]]]?]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[Maybe you should organize this desk. Later. Where to next?(if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[ The [[kitchen table]]?] (if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[Head [[back to Biggie]]?](else:)[]](else:)[Oh, what a lovely spot. It's a plain, wooden, high-top writing desk, just like the one you worked upon in Stratford-upon-Avon all those years ago. On this writing desk you've written several sequels to your Earthly plays, a spec script rejected by the Marx Brothers (you thought it was very funny), and the occasional Op-Ed for heaven's newspaper. It is simply covered with papers and broken quills. Anything could be under this mess. Do you [[shuffle the papers]],(if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[ head [[back to Biggie]],](else:)[ or head to [[the bedroom]]](if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[ or check the [[kitchen table]]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[It's still a mess in here, but there's not much else of interest. Where to next? (if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[ [[The kitchen table->kitchen table]] or go [[back to Biggie]]?](else:)[ [[The kitchen table->kitchen table]], the [[writing desk]] or go [[back to Biggie]]?]](else:)[How many doublets do you own and why do you still have to do laundry in heaven? Sorry. Your bedroom floor is covered in clothing. Maybe that's just the way you like it. (if: $notes contains "note2")[You remember that you were writing in bed, and had the drum machine set up on [[the far side of the bed]].](else:)[Is that a... slice of pizza on [[the far side of the bed]]?](if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[](else:)[ Or do you go to the [[writing desk]]?](if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[ Or do you want to see the [[kitchen table]]?]]]

An Alesis HR-16. A basic model, but a good beat is timeless.<br>

(if: $inv contains "a slice of pizza")[](else-if: $inv contains "a disgusting slice of pizza")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a slice of pizza"))](if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "heaven bucks"))](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You lift the lid. Inside is a half-eaten pizza, still warm and as fresh as when it arrived (heaven), and next to it are a few Heaven Bucks. You forgot there was no tipping in heaven and set the money there. You pick it up. Where to next? (if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[](else:)[[[The writing desk->writing desk]]?](if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[Go [[back to Biggie]]?](else:)[ The [[bedroom->the bedroom]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Hoydoy, there are pages from 2 centuries ago in here. How embarrassing. While there's no drum machine here, you did find a recipe Julia Child gave you that you've been meaning to try, so that's something at least. Where to next?(if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[ [[The kitchen->kitchen table]]?](if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[ Or [[back to Biggie]]?](else:)[ [[The bedroom->the bedroom]]?](if: $inv contains "a recipe")[](else-if: $inv contains "Julia Child's goose recipe")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a recipe"))]]

<br>It's a recipe that Julia Child gave you. It's for steam-roasted goose.(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a recipe"))(if: $inv contains "Julia Child's goose recipe")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "Julia Child's goose recipe"))]<br>

<br>Steam-roasted goose. “Produces a moist goose with crisp skin." Serves 6. You've never cooked goose in your life. Why did she give this to you?<br>

(if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a drum machine"))](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You flop onto your incredibly comfortable bed. (set: $bed to 1)Hey-ho! There's something right underneath that slice of pizza. Biggie's drum machine. You pick it up. (if: $inv contains all of (a:"a drum machine", "heaven bucks", "a recipe"))[Ready to [[run it over to him->back to Biggie]]?](else-if: $inv contains all of (a:"a drum machine", "heaven bucks", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[Ready to [[run it over to him->back to Biggie]]?](else:)[Want to bring it [[back to Biggie]]?(if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[ Or [[ head to the kitchen->kitchen table]]?](if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[](else:)[ [[Or the writing desk->writing desk]]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Goodness, your apartment is a mess. Ruffs and doublets and breeches strewn across the floor. A true Elizabethan bachelor's abode. If that codeword was on paper, it's most likely on your [[writing desk->writing desk nb]] or your [[kitchen table->kitchen table nb]]. Or, let's be honest, [[your bedroom floor->the bedroom nb]]. Or you can [[go back to Central->Central2]], or [[speak with your neighbor->turn to chat]].]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[Maybe you should organize this desk. Later. Where to next?(if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[ The [[kitchen table->kitchen table nb]]?](if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[](else:)[ [[The bedroom->the bedroom nb]]?]](else:)[Oh, what a lovely spot. It's a plain, wooden, high-top writing desk, just like the one you worked upon in Stratford-upon-Avon all those years ago. On this writing desk you've written several sequels to your Earthly plays, a spec script rejected by the Marx Brothers (you thought it was very funny), and the occasional Op-Ed for heaven's newspaper. It is simply covered with papers and broken quills. Anything could be under this mess. Do you [[shuffle the papers->shuffle the papers nb]],(if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[](else:)[ or head to [[the bedroom->the bedroom nb]]](if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[, or check the [[kitchen table->kitchen table nb]]]?] Or you can [[go back to Central->Central2]], or [[speak with your neighbor->turn to chat]].]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[On the kitchen table you see a pizza box, a used plate, and yesterday's edition of <i>The Guardian Angel</i>. Do you [[open the pizza box->open the pizza box nb]](if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[](else:) [, move to your [[writing desk->writing desk nb]]](if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[](else:)[, or head to [[the bedroom->the bedroom nb]]]? Or you can [[go back to Central->Central2]], or [[speak with your neighbor->turn to chat]].]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[It's still a mess in here, but there's not much else of interest. Where to next? (if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[ [[The kitchen table->kitchen table nb]]?](else:)[ [[The kitchen table->kitchen table nb]], or the [[writing desk->writing desk nb]]?]](else:)[How many doublets do you own and why do you still have to do laundry in heaven? Sorry. Your bedroom floor is covered in clothing. Maybe that's just the way you like it. Is that a... slice of pizza on [[the far side of the bed->the far side of the bed nb]]?(if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[](else:)[ Or do you go to the [[writing desk->writing desk nb]]?](if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[ Or do you want to see the [[kitchen table->kitchen table nb]]?]] Or you can [[go back to Central->Central2]], or [[speak with your neighbor->turn to chat]].]

(if: $inv contains "a slice of pizza")[](else-if: $inv contains "a disgusting slice of pizza")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a slice of pizza"))](if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "heaven bucks"))](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You lift the lid. Inside is a half-eaten pizza, still warm and as fresh as when it arrived (heaven), and next to it are a few Heaven Bucks. You forgot there was no tipping in heaven and set the money there. You pick it up. (if: $inv contains all of (a:"a drum machine", "heaven bucks", "a recipe"))[Well, you've flipped your apartment upside-down, but no codeword. Do you [[head back to Central->Central2]] or [[see if your neighbor knows anything->turn to chat]]?](else:)[Where to next? (if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[](else:)[[[The writing desk->writing desk nb]]?](if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[](else:)[ [[The bedroom->the bedroom nb]]]?] Or you can [[go back to Central->Central2]], or [[speak with your neighbor->turn to chat]].]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Hoydoy, there are pages from 2 centuries ago in here. How embarrassing. While there's no codeword here, you did find a recipe Julia Child gave you that you've been meaning to try, so that's something at least. (if: $inv contains all of (a:"a drum machine", "heaven bucks", "a recipe"))[Well, you've flipped your apartment upside-down, but no codeword. Do you [[head back to Central->Central2]] or [[see if your neighbor knows anything->turn to chat]]?](else:)[Where to next?(if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[ [[The kitchen->kitchen table nb]]?] (if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[](else:)[ [[The bedroom->the bedroom nb]]?]] Or you can [[go back to Central->Central2]], or [[speak with your neighbor->turn to chat]].](if: $inv contains "a recipe")[](else-if: $inv contains "Julia Child's goose recipe")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a recipe"))]

(if: $inv contains "a drum machine")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a drum machine"))](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You flop onto your incredibly comfortable bed. (set: $bed to 1)Hey-ho! There's something right underneath that slice of pizza. An old-school drum machine. You pick it up. (if: $inv contains all of (a:"a drum machine", "heaven bucks", "a recipe"))[Well, you've flipped your apartment upside-down, but no codeword. Do you [[head back to Central->Central2]] or [[see if your neighbor knows anything->turn to chat]]?](else:)[What next? (if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[ [[Head to the kitchen->kitchen table nb]]?(if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[](else:)[ [[Or the writing desk->writing desk nb]]]?]] Or you can [[go back to Central->Central2]], or [[speak with your neighbor->turn to chat]].]

<br>The most contemporary musician you've listened to is Mozart and you're certainly not going to jump back in with Churchill and Smalls as “The New Fat Boys."<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[On the kitchen table you see a pizza box, a used plate, and yesterday's edition of <i>The Guardian Angel</i>. Do you [[open the pizza box->open the pizza box code]](if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[(if: $mission is "briefed")[](else:)[ [[or just [[head to the meeting at Central->Central2]]]?](else:) [, move to your [[writing desk->writing desk code]] (if: $mission is "briefed")[](else:)[or just [[head to the meeting at Central->Central2]]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Oh, what a lovely spot. It's a plain, wooden, high-top writing desk, just like the one you worked upon in Stratford-upon-Avon all those years ago. On this writing desk you've written several sequels to your Earthly plays, a spec script rejected by the Marx Brothers (you thought it was very funny), and the occasional Op-Ed for heaven's newspaper. It is simply covered with papers and broken quills. Anything could be under this mess. (if: $mission is "briefed")[Do you [[shuffle the papers->shuffle the papers code]](if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[ or check the [[kitchen table->kitchen table code]]]?](else:)[Do you [[shuffle the papers->shuffle the papers code]](if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[or just [[head to the meeting->Central2]]?](else:)[, check the [[kitchen table->kitchen table code]], or just [[head to the meeting->Central2]]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Hoydoy, there are pages from 2 centuries ago in here. How embarrassing. Oh, look! A recipe Julia Child gave you that you've been meaning to try, so that's something at least. Where to next?(if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[(if: $mission is "briefed")[(if: $inv contains "a slice of pizza")[ Better [[head back to Genesius]].](else-if: $inv contains "a disgusting slice of pizza")[ Better [[head back to Genesius]].](else:)[ Check out [[the kitchen->kitchen table code]]?]](else:)[[[ Your meeting at Central->Central2]]?]](else:)[ [[The kitchen->kitchen table code]] (if: $mission is "briefed")[](else:)[or [[your meeting at Central->Central2]]]?]](if: $inv contains "a recipe")[](else-if: $inv contains "Julia Child's goose recipe")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a recipe"))]

(if: $inv contains "a slice of pizza")[](else-if: $inv contains "a disgusting slice of pizza")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a slice of pizza"))](if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "heaven bucks"))](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You lift the lid. Inside is a half-eaten pizza, still warm and as fresh as when it arrived (heaven), and next to it are a few Heaven Bucks. You forgot there was no tipping in heaven and set the money there. You pick it up. Where to next? (if: $inv contains any of (a:"a recipe", "Julia Child's goose recipe"))[(if: $mission is "briefed")[Better [[head back to Genesius]].](else:)[[[Your meeting at Central->Central2]]?]](else:)[[[The writing desk->writing desk code]](if: $mission is "briefed")[](else:)[ or [[your meeting at Central->Central2]]]?]]

<br>It's the perfect slice for a man who lived in the 16th century: topped with some kind of poultry and saffron.<br>(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a slice of pizza"))(if: $inv contains "a disgusting slice of pizza")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a disgusting slice of pizza"))]

<br>It's the perfect slice for a man who lived in the 16th century: topped with some kind of poultry and saffron.<br>

(set: $mission to "briefed")<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_genesius.jpg">(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“Alright then, Will. Here are the rules: It's all fictional, so you can't die in there." “That doth put mine thoughts to rest, for... there is much blood in my work." “For sure. Second: nobody really talks your fancy talk anymore. The ‘thees' and ‘thys.' It just makes readers ask if people really talked like that, so keep it simple." “Wherefore hath the once well-adjusted tongues of men been made to slacken so?" “<i>I'm sorry?</i>" Your face drains itself of all expression. “Sounds good... <i>dude</i>." “Excellent. So. First up: you're going into <i>Romeo and Juliet</i>. Things are... a little bonkers in there. You might not recognize it.(if: $inv contains all of (a:"heaven bucks", "a mix CD"))[(if: $inv contains "a recipe")[(if: $inv contains "a slice of pizza")[" He stares at you. You're not sure why.<br><br>“[[Okay->head back to Genesius]]," you say eventually.](else-if: $inv contains "a disgusting slice of pizza")[" He stares at you. You're not sure why.<br><br>"[[Okay->head back to Genesius]]," you say eventually.](else:)[ First, I want you to [[stop at your house->search code]], and make sure you've got everything you'll need in there."]](else-if: $inv contains "Julia Child's goose recipe")[(if: $inv contains "a slice of pizza")[" He stares at you. You're not sure why.<br><br>"[[Okay->head back to Genesius]]," you say eventually.](else-if: $inv contains "a disgusting slice of pizza")[" He stares at you. You're not sure why.<br><br>"[[Okay->head back to Genesius]]," you say eventually.](else:)[ First, I want you to [[stop at your house->search code]], and make sure you've got everything you'll need in there."]](else:)[ First, I want you to [[stop at your house->search code]] and make sure you've got everything you'll need in there."]](else:)[ First, I want you to [[stop at your house->search code]] and make sure you've got everything you'll need in there."]]

(set: $usedmap to "never")(set: $parked to "act4")<script>$('html').removeClass('blank').removeClass('default').removeClass('flash').addClass('randj');</script>(set: $yourChapter to "Ch. II")<style> img { float: left; } </style>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<center>II. — A Tragedy of Errors.</center> <img src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/32/Letter_I%2C_drop_capital_illustration.png/100px-Letter_I%2C_drop_capital_illustration.png" style="margin-right:3px;">MMEDIATELY you feel sweltering heat and sand in your face. You narrow your eyes and allow them to adjust. Eventually your eyes are able to focus on what you believe is called a trailer home, here in the middle of a desert. You feel the sun on your lower arms and realize your clothes have changed. You are in a blue Hawaiian shirt and... <i>blue jeans.</i> There were no blue jeans in your <i>Romeo and Juliet</i>. Oh dear. To [[your right->Act 4]], a young man sits in a folding chair, staring off into the middle distance. To [[your left->Act 3]], it is suddenly darker, and away from the hot sun.](if: $inv contains "sunglasses")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "sunglasses"))]

(set: $rj_act4 to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "map")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $heardofriff is "yes")[(if:(history:)'s last is "Act 4 drove")[Okay. You get out of the car.<br>](if: $parked is "act4")[Do you [[get in the car]]?] There's nothing left to say to the crying Romeo until you can get him out of his gang.](else:)[(if:(history:)'s last is "Act 4 drove")[Okay. You get out of the car.<br>]The trailer is dusty; it's clearly been sitting here for quite some time. (if: $parked is "act4")[Parked next to it is... well, you're not very knowledgeable about cars since you never owned one, so: a car. A red car. Also, dusty. ]The young blond boy sits in the shade of the trailer. He is preoccupied and does not notice you. Do you(if: $parked is "act4")[ [[get in the car]] or](else:)[] [[talk to the boy]]?] Or you can [[head left->Act 3]], [[head right->Act 5.3]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]].]]

(set: $rj_twotwo to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "map")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if:(history:)'s last is "Act 2.2 drove")[Okay. You get out of the car.<br>](if: $gaveportrait is "yes")[(if: $metriff is "yes")[“Madam! I must politely demand: [[give me the shoes]]."](else-if: $tapmission is "done")[There's nothing here for you besides a smoldering wreck of a car. You can look at the beautiful(if: $inv contains "a bottle of perfume")[](else-if: $tybalt is "perfume")[](else:)[ [[vanity->vanity]] and](if: $inv contains "a wire hanger")[](else:)[ [[wardrobe->wardrobejuliet]] and] [[window]]. Or you can [[keep moving->map]].](else:)[“Can I have those shoes?" you ask. “No," Nurse says, barely looking up from her book. Not there yet. Darn.<br>You can look at the beautiful(if: $inv contains "a bottle of perfume")[ vanity](else-if: $tybalt is "perfume")[ vanity](else:)[ [[vanity->vanity]]], (if: $inv contains "a wire hanger")[a wardrobe ](else:)[a [[wardrobe->wardrobejuliet]] ]or there's the [[window]] you can investigate. Or you can [[keep moving->map]].]](else-if: $nursereminder is "need")[You're back in Juliet's room. You see [[the Nurse->d8]], the beautiful(if: $inv contains "a bottle of perfume")[ vanity](else-if: $tybalt is "perfume")[ vanity](else:)[ [[vanity->vanity]]], (if: $inv contains "a wire hanger")[a wardrobe ](else:)[a [[wardrobe->wardrobejuliet]] ]and the [[window]]. Or you can [[keep moving->map]].](else:)[(if: $julesroom is "2nd")[](else:)[Confusingly, you are now indoors. You take in your surroundings and based on the decor you realize you're probably in Juliet's bedroom. ]Things in here look <i>fancy</i>. That bed might be nicer than the one you have in heaven. There's a beautiful(if: $inv contains "a bottle of perfume")[ vanity](else:)[ [[vanity->vanity]]], (if: $inv contains "a wire hanger")[a wardrobe ](else:)[a [[wardrobe->wardrobejuliet]] ] and a [[window]] that grab your attention. Do you [[use the door and head deeper into the Capulet's house->use the door]] or do you [[take a nap]]? (if: $parked is "twotwo")[Or do you [[get in the car->drive the car]]?](else:)[] Or you can [[head left->Act 1.5]], [[head right->Act 3]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]]?]]]

<br>These just showed up in your pocket when you arrived in <i>Romeo and Juliet</i>. They're just your standard, black frame sunglasses.<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[For the first time in your long life, you are sitting in a car. Opening the door was easy enough. Next, you recognize the keys in the ignition from the time Abraham Lincoln made you watch one of those <i>Fast and the Furious</i> movies. Do you [[drive the car]] or [(link-reveal: "get out")[(show: ?klhdd)]? |klhdd)[<br><br>(if: $heardofriff is "yes")[D](else:)[This feels like too much to take on right now. You step out of the car and shut the door. Do you go(if: $romeomeet is "yes")[ [[talk to Romeo->talk to the boy]]](else:)[ [[talk to the boy]]]? Or d]o you [[head left->Act 3]], [[head right->Act 5.3]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]]?]]]]

(set: $rj_onefive to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "map")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $dancehall is "2nd")[(if: $tapmission is "yes")[You run past all of the teens, through the doors of the dance hall, [[directly to Riff->ask Riff favor]]. (if: $parked is "onefive")[ Or you can [[get in the car->drive the car]].]](else-if: $tapmission is "done")[You could probably show these kids a few more steps on the dancefloor, but you've got too much else to do. Do you(if: $rjvoid is "yes")[](else:)[ [[head left->the void]],] [[head right->Act 2.2]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]]?](if: $parked is "onefive")[ Or you can [[get in the car->drive the car]].]](else:)[You're outside the dance hall again. Do you(if: $metriff is "yes")[ [[go back inside->get some punch]]](else:)[ [[go back inside->head inside the dance]]],(if: $rjvoid is "yes")[](else:)[ [[head left->the void]],] [[head right->Act 2.2]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]]?](if: $parked is "onefive")[ Or you can [[get in the car->drive the car]].]]](else:)[Fireworks explode in the night sky as crowds of excited teens make their way into the Capulet's dance hall. You may not recognize the scenery, but you know revelry when you see it: this is the party scene. Do you [[head inside the dance]] or [(link-reveal: "try to talk to a youth")[(show: ?uhllh)]]? Or do you(if: $rjvoid is "yes")[](else:)[ [[head left->the void]],] [[head right->Act 2.2]](if: $parked is "onefive")[, [[drive the car]]](else:)[] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]]?]] |uhllh)[<br><br>Do you: - (link: "Speak in modern slang")[(set: $d9 to "1")(goto: "d9")] - (link: "Speak in Elizabethan slang")[(set: $d9 to "2")(goto: "d9")] - (link: "Just improvise")[(set: $d9 to "3")(goto: "d9")]]]

(set: $rj_fivethree to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "map")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if:(history:)'s last is "inkdistract")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "quilldistract")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "pizzadistract")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "recipedistract")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "mixcddistract")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "boomboxdistract")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "heavenbucksdistract")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "daggergive")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "perfumegive")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "bulletsgive")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "glassesdistract")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "portraitdistract")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "hangergive")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that and head back outside.<br><br>](if:(history:)'s last is "cupgive")[You resolve to return to Juliet when you have something a bit more weapon-y to trade for that gun and head back outside.<br><br>](if: $tapmission is "done")[(if: $tybalt is "perfume")[(if: $gun is "taken")[Tybalt's body is smelling good and Juliet's just going to roll her eyes at you some more. Do you]](else:)[Do you [[go inside the sepulcher->tomb]] or] [[check out all the old tombstones]]?](else:)[It is very dark here. You look up at the stars and moon in the sky and would estimate it to be midnight or so. You are standing in a graveyard. Before you stands the Capulet's tomb and many, many graves. Do you want to [[go inside the sepulcher->tomb]]<sup>1</sup> or [[check out all the old tombstones]]?] Or do you(if: $tapmission is "done")[ [[head left->rjdone]]](else:)[ [[head left->Act 4]]](if: $rjvoid is "yes")[](else:)[ [[head right->the void]],] (if: $parked is "fivethree")[ [[drive the car]], ]or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]]?] [(if: $tybalt is "perfume")[(if: $gun is "taken")[](else:)[<font style="font-size: 75%;"><sup>1.</sup> n. Fancy word for tomb.</font>]](else:)[<font style="font-size: 75%;"><sup>1.</sup> n. Fancy word for tomb.</font>]]]

(set: $rj_act3 to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "map")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if:(history:)'s last is "Act 3 drove")[Okay. You get out of the car.<br>](if: $inv contains "a bloody dagger")[You stand before the massive cathedral. (if: $gaveportrait is "yes")[](else-if: $inv contains "a portrait of young Juliet")[](else:)[Do you [[go inside->go inside the cathedral]]?] (if: $parked is "act3")[(if: $gaveportrait is "yes")[D](else-if: $inv contains "a portrait of young Juliet")[D](else:)[Or d]o you [[get in the car->drive the car]]?](else:)[] Or d](else-if: $tapmission is "done")[There's nothing else for you to do at the cathedral. D](else:)[As if by magic, the sun is gone and the stars and moon are out. You recognize the landscape as that of fair Verona, where you set the majority of your play. <i>Interesting</i>. Before you stands a massive cathedral. There seems to be some sort of gathering at its steps. Do you(if: $gaveportrait is "yes")[](else-if: $inv contains "a portrait of young Juliet")[](else:)[ [[go inside the cathedral]]](if: $inv contains "a bloody dagger")[](else-if: $inv contains "some bullets")[](else:)[ or [[investigate the commotion]]]? (if: $parked is "act3")[Or do you [[get in the car->drive the car]]?](else:)[] D]o you [[head left->Act 2.2]],(if: $tapmission is "done")[ [[head right->rjdone]]](else:)[ [[head right->Act 4]]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]]?]]

(set: $dancehall to "2nd")(set: $rjvoid to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[There is nothing but white nothingness here. It makes sense: you never wrote anything in this direction. You hold tight to (if:(history:)'s last is "Act 1.5")[a street sign at the edge of your vision, outside the party](else-if:(history:)'s last is "Act 5.3")[a gravestone at the edge of your vision, outside the Capulet's graveyard](else:)[a nearby shrubbery] to stop yourself from tumbling into the emptiness. You can either (link-goto: "head back", (history:)'s last), [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]], or [(link-reveal: "throw a Heaven Buck into the void")[(show: ?lqkejgr)] to see what happens. |lqkejgr)[<br><br>You do it. It falls for about two feet and then disintegrates before your eyes. You don't think it would be a good idea to follow it. (if:(history:)'s last is "Act 1.5")[(set: $cointoss to "beginningrj")](if:(history:)'s last is "Act 5.3")[(set: $cointoss to "endrj")](if: $friar is "absent")[(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "heaven bucks"))]]]](if: $notes contains "note3")[](else:)[(set: $notes to $notes + (a: "note3"))]

(set: $romeomeet to "yes")<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_romeo.jpg">(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $d3 is "1")[“Sorry, Romeo," you say, “I've heard nothing from Verona." He stares at you with his big baby blues. “I see," he says, turning his head away from you.](if: $d3 is "2")[“Yes!" you say. “I received a letter from Friar Laurence just now. She says come home! And also, she's dead." He eyes you for a moment, pouts his lip and turns his head. “Not funny," he says.](if: $d3 is "3")[Stay in character, Will. “Benedicite! Ah, my son. The only source of <i>good news</i> you need is in the Bible! Shall we read it together now?" He eyes you for a moment, pouts his lip and turns his head. “No thank you, father."] “Oh, what does it matter, anyway?" he says in an explosion of emotion. “I'm banishèd from Verona, but even if I weren't, I'll be killed the moment I step foot in there." Do you [[ask Romeo what he's talking about->ask Romeo why]] or (link: "try to comfort him")[(set: $d4 to "1")(goto: "ask Romeo why")]?]

(if: $yourChapter is "Ch. II")[<u>STUFF TO FIX IN <i>R&J</i></u> (if: $yourChapter is "Ch. II")[(if: $romeomeet is "yes")[(if: $randj is "complete")[<strike>- Romeo needs to go back to Verona</strike><br>](else:)[- Romeo needs to go back to Verona<br>]](else:)[](if: $metjuliet is "yes")[(if: $randj is "complete")[<strike>- Juliet is all alone at the end of the play</strike><br>](else:)[- Juliet is all alone at the end of the play<br>]](else:)[](if: $gun is "seen")[(if: $inv contains "some bullets")[<strike>- Juliet has a gun for some reason</strike><br>](else-if: $metriff is "done")[<strike>- Juliet has a gun for some reason</strike><br>](else:)[- Juliet has a gun for some reason<br>]](else:)[](if: $heardofriff is "yes")[(if: $randj is "complete")[<strike>- Romeo needs to leave the Jets</strike><br>](else:)[- Romeo needs to leave the Jets<br>]](else:)[](if: $tapmission is "yes")[- Riff needs tap shoes before he lets Romeo leave<br>](else:)[](if: $tapmission is "done")[<strike>- Riff needs tap shoes before he lets Romeo leave</strike><br>](else:)[](if: $tybalt is "body")[- Tybalt's corpse <i>stinks</i><br>](else-if: $tybalt is "perfume")[<strike>- Tybalt's corpse <i>stinks</i></strike><br>](else:)[](if: $metfriar is "yes")[- Friar Laurence works for Robin Hood<br>](else-if: $metfriar is "truth")[<strike>- Friar Laurence works for Robin Hood</strike><br>](else:)[](if: $nurse is "met")[(if: $gaveportrait is "yes")[(if: $tapmission is "done")[<strike>- The Nurse thinks she's a modern nurse type of nurse<br>- The Nurse insists on keeping her comfortable shoes</strike><br>](else:)[<strike>- The Nurse thinks she's a modern nurse type of nurse</strike><br>- The Nurse insists on keeping her comfortable shoes<br>]](else:)[- The Nurse thinks she's a modern nurse type of nurse<br>]](else:)[](if: $rjvoid is "yes")[- The void is terrifying, but I CAN NOT FIX THE VOID.](else:)[]](else:)[<strike>- Romeo needs to go back to Verona<br>- Juliet is all alone at the end of the play<br>- Juliet has a gun for some reason<br>- Romeo needs to leave the Jets<br>- Riff needs tap shoes before he lets Romeo leave<br>- Friar Laurence works for Robin Hood<br>- The Nurse thinks she's a modern nurse type of nurse<br>- The Nurse insists on keeping her comfortable shoes<br></strike>(if: $rjvoid is "yes")[- The void is terrifying, but I CAN NOT FIX THE VOID.]]](else:)[<u>(link-reveal:"STUFF TO FIX IN <i>R&J</i>")[(show: ?hlgda)]</u> |hlgda)[(if: $yourChapter is "Ch. II")[(if: $romeomeet is "yes")[(if: $randj is "complete")[<strike>- Romeo needs to go back to Verona</strike><br>](else:)[- Romeo needs to go back to Verona<br>]](else:)[](if: $metjuliet is "yes")[(if: $randj is "complete")[<strike>- Juliet is all alone at the end of the play</strike><br>](else:)[- Juliet is all alone at the end of the play<br>]](else:)[](if: $gun is "seen")[(if: $inv contains "some bullets")[<strike>- Juliet has a gun for some reason</strike><br>](else-if: $metriff is "done")[<strike>- Juliet has a gun for some reason</strike><br>](else:)[- Juliet has a gun for some reason<br>]](else:)[](if: $heardofriff is "yes")[(if: $randj is "complete")[<strike>- Romeo needs to leave the Jets</strike><br>](else:)[- Romeo needs to leave the Jets<br>]](else:)[](if: $tapmission is "yes")[- Riff needs tap shoes before he lets Romeo leave<br>](else:)[](if: $tapmission is "done")[<strike>- Riff needs tap shoes before he lets Romeo leave</strike><br>](else:)[](if: $tybalt is "body")[- Tybalt's corpse <i>stinks</i><br>](else-if: $tybalt is "perfume")[<strike>- Tybalt's corpse <i>stinks</i></strike><br>](else:)[](if: $metfriar is "yes")[- Friar Laurence works for Robin Hood<br>](else-if: $metfriar is "truth")[<strike>- Friar Laurence works for Robin Hood</strike><br>](else:)[](if: $nurse is "met")[(if: $gaveportrait is "yes")[(if: $tapmission is "done")[<strike>- The Nurse thinks she's a modern nurse type of nurse<br>- The Nurse insists on keeping her comfortable shoes</strike><br>](else:)[<strike>- The Nurse thinks she's a modern nurse type of nurse</strike><br>- The Nurse insists on keeping her comfortable shoes<br>]](else:)[- The Nurse thinks she's a modern nurse type of nurse<br>]](else:)[](if: $rjvoid is "yes")[- The void is terrifying, but I CAN NOT FIX THE VOID.](else:)[]](else:)[<strike>- Romeo needs to go back to Verona<br>- Juliet is all alone at the end of the play<br>- Juliet has a gun for some reason<br>- Romeo needs to leave the Jets<br>- Riff needs tap shoes before he lets Romeo leave<br>- Friar Laurence works for Robin Hood<br>- The Nurse thinks she's a modern nurse type of nurse<br>- The Nurse insists on keeping her comfortable shoes<br></strike>(if: $rjvoid is "yes")[- The void is terrifying, but I CAN NOT FIX THE VOID.]]]] ----

(set: $heardofriff to "yes")<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_romeo.jpg">(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $d4 is "1")[“There, there," you say, patting the youth's shoulder. “Everything's going to be alright in the end," you lie. You know with certainty that it's not because you wrote this kid's death scene in 1594. This is weird. “No, you don't get it!" Romeo says. “It's never going to be okay! I'm already dead!"<br><br>]“Who is going to kill you, my son?" You're genuinely curious because the only person who is supposed to kill Romeo is Romeo. He sighs. “I'm in a gang and they don't want me to be with Juliet. When they find out she and I already got married? It's over." You ask him why he doesn't just leave them. “The toughest gang on the whole buggin' street doesn't let you walk out on ‘em," he explains. “Only Riff, the leader, can let me out. And he's never gonna let that happen. Once you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the time," he says, give or take a word. (if: $metriff is "yes")[“I know that guy!" you say excitedly. “I saw him at the Capulet ball!" “Where I met my Juliet!" “He was nice. Let me try to talk to him for you."](else:)[You make a note in [[your notebook]] and assure Romeo that you can get him out of the Jets. He doesn't seem to believe you, but thanks you anyhow.] Do you [[head left->Act 3]], [[head right->Act 5.3]](if: $metriff is "yes")[, [[go back to the ball->head inside the dance]]](else:)[] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]].]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Okay. Where are we heading? (if: $crash is "ready")[- (if: $rj_onefive is "yes")[[[The big party->crash]]](else:)[[[????->crash]]] - (if: $rj_twotwo is "yes")[[[Juliet's bedroom->crash]]](else:)[[[????->crash]]] - (if: $rj_act3 is "yes")[[[The cathedral of Verona->crash]]](else:)[[[????->crash]]] - (if: $rj_act4 is "yes")[[[The deserts of Mantua->crash]]](else:)[[[????->crash]]] - (if: $rj_fivethree is "yes")[[[The Capulet tombs->crash]]](else:)[[[????->crash]]] Or you can (link-goto: "get out of the car.", (history:)'s 2ndlast)](else:)[- (if: $rj_onefive is "yes")[[[The big party->Act 2.2 drove]]](else:)[[[????->Act 2.2 drove]]] - (if: $rj_twotwo is "yes")[[[Juliet's bedroom->Act 3 drove]]](else:)[[[????->Act 3 drove]]] - (if: $rj_act3 is "yes")[[[The cathedral of Verona->Act 1.5 drove]]](else:)[[[????->Act 1.5 drove]]] - (if: $rj_act4 is "yes")[[[The deserts of Mantua->Act 5.3 drove]]](else:)[[[????->Act 5.3 drove]]] - (if: $rj_fivethree is "yes")[[[The Capulet tombs->Act 4 drove]]](else:)[[[????->Act 4 drove]]] Or you can (link-goto: "get out of the car.", (history:)'s last)]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You hop in the car, but this whole “operating a vehicle" craze isn't really your scene. You're more of a “walk across the country if escaping the plague" kind of guy. Almost immediately after getting behind the wheel, you hear a loud bang and your head hits the steering wheel. You hear running water. It's dark out. “I should have just walked," you think, as you [[shut your eyes->crash2]].]

(if:(history:)'s last is "map")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](set: $parked to "twotwo")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You look out the window and realize you're outside of Juliet's bedroom in Verona.(if: $rj_twotwo is "yes")[ That makes sense: you're not a good driver.](else:)[(set: $rj_twotwo to "yes")] It's very late at night and the house is very fancy. Do you [(link-reveal: "head inside")[(show: ?uhllh)] or [[keep driving->drive the car]]? |uhllh)[<br><br>You should probably [[get out of the car first->Act 2.2]], genius.]]]

(set: $rj_actthree to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "map")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](set: $parked to "act3")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $metfriar is "yes")[Well, you're not a great driver. You're actually in front of the cathedral in Verona. Do you [(link-reveal: "pop inside the cathedral")[(show: ?uhllh)]], [[investigate the commotion]] or do you [[keep driving->drive the car]]?](else-if: $inv contains "a bloody dagger")[Well, you're not a great driver. You're actually in front of a cathedral in Verona. Do you [(link-reveal: "pop into the cathedral")[(show: ?uhllh)]] or do you [[keep driving->drive the car]]?](else:)[You look out the window and realize you're outside the cathedral in Verona. That makes sense: you're not a good driver. Before you stands a massive cathedral. There seems to be some sort of gathering at its steps. Do you [(link-reveal: "go inside the cathedral")[(show: ?uhllh)]] or [[investigate the commotion]]? Or do you [[keep driving->drive the car]]?] |uhllh)[<br><br>You should probably [[get out of the car first->Act 3]], genius.]]

(if:(history:)'s last is "map")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](set: $parked to "onefive")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $metriff is "yes")[You look out the window and realize you're outside some kind of party. (if: $rj_onefive is "yes")[That makes sense: you're not a good driver. ](else:)[(set: $rj_onefive to "yes")]Do you [(link-reveal: "head inside")[(show: ?uhllh)] or [[keep driving->drive the car]]?]](else:)[(if: $rj_onefive is "yes")[Well, you're not a great driver. You're actually somewhere in Verona.](else:)[You're not sure exactly where, but you're clearly <i>somewhere</i> in Verona.(set: $rj_onefive to "yes")] Fireworks explode in the night sky as crowds of excited teens make their way into the Capulet's dance hall. You may not recognize the scenery, but you know revelry when you see it: this is the party scene. Do you [(link-reveal: "head inside")[(show: ?uhllh)] or [[keep driving->drive the car]]?] |uhllh)[<br><br>You should probably [[get out of the car first->head inside the dance]], genius.]]]

(set: $rj_fivethree to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "map")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](set: $parked to "fivethree")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $metjuliet is "yes")[Well, you're not a great driver. You're actually at the Capulet's tomb. Do you [(link-reveal: "go inside the tomb")[(show: ?uhllh)] or [[keep driving->drive the car]]?]](else:)[Well, you're not a great driver. You're actually somewhere in Verona now. It is very dark here. You look up at the stars and moon in the sky and would estimate it to be midnight or so. You are standing in a graveyard. In front of you stands the Capulet's tomb and many, many graves. Do you [(link-reveal: "go inside the sepulcher")[(show: ?uhllh)] or [[keep driving->drive the car]]?] |uhllh)[<br><br>You should probably [[get out of the car first->tomb]], genius.]]]

(set: $rj_act4 to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "map")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](set: $parked to "act4")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $heardofriff is "yes")[Well, you're not a great driver. You're actually in Mantua. Do you [(link-reveal: "talk to Romeo")[(show: ?uhllh)] or [[keep driving->drive the car]]?]](else:)[Well, you're not a great driver. You're actually in Mantua. The trailer in front of you is dusty; it's clearly been sitting here for quite some time. The young blond boy sits in the shade of the trailer. He is preoccupied and does not notice you. Do you [(link-reveal: "talk to the boy")[(show: ?uhllh)] or [[keep driving->drive the car]]?] |uhllh)[<br><br>You should probably [[get out of the car first->Act 4]], genius.]]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $metfriar is "yes")[Still beautiful in here. (if: $friar is "absent")[The friar is long gone. Do you [[head for the rectory->d6]] or [[head back outside->Act 3]]?](else:)[The friar is no longer at the front of the room. He must be in the rectory still. Do you [[go in there->rectory]] or [[head back outside->Act 3]]?]](else:)[You step inside the cathedral. You recognize that you are in the presence of beautiful architecture, but you've become a little bit jaded; pretty much everything looks like this in heaven. At the far end, near the altar, stands a robed man. Do you [[approach him]] or [[sit in a pew]]? Or you can [[step back outside->Act 3]].]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[A crowd of citizens stand in a circle. A few of Verona's guards circulate, and you see a man, clearly of high rank, attempting to restore order. That's gotta be Prince Escalus. You edge closer to the ring of people, and in the center, lies the body of (if: $tybalt is "body")[Tybalt, now a much fresher corpse.](else:)[Tybalt, Juliet's cousin.] There is a dagger in his chest, having been inserted there by Romeo. Okay. It's grisly, but, it's how you wrote it. It's good to see that this piece of the play seems uncorrupted. Do you [[attempt to remove the dagger->step closer to Tybalt]](if: $gaveportrait is "yes")[](else-if: $inv contains "a portrait of young Juliet")[](else:)[ or [[go inside the cathedral]]]? Or you can [[head left->Act 2.2]], [[head right->Act 4]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]].]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You reach forward and once your fingers graze the hilt of the dagger, the crowd shouts for you to stop. Social decorum does not allow you to remove a murder weapon from a corpse. You'll need [[a distraction]]. Or you can [[head left->Act 2.2]], [[head right->Act 4]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]].]]

<br>It's both a lightweight CD player and a reminder that you have to play your neighbor's mixtape before you can look him in the eye again.<br>

(set: $combine to "6")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Okay. Distraction. You look in your pockets. What do you want to use to distract the lookie-loos? (if: $inv's length > 0)[You have (print: $inv.join(", ")).](else:)[Currently, your pockets are empty. That is kind of improbable and, quite honestly, something probably went wrong. Wanna (click-goto: "start over", 'Title')?](click-goto: "a quill", 'quilldistract')(click-goto: "some ink", 'inkdistract')(click-goto: "a slice of pizza", 'pizzadistract')(click-goto: "a disgusting slice of pizza", 'pizzadistract')(click-goto: "heaven bucks", 'heavenbucksdistract')(click-goto: "a recipe", 'recipedistract')(click-goto: "Julia Child's goose recipe", 'recipedistract')(click-goto: "a mix CD", 'mixcddistract')(click-goto: "a mini boom box", 'boomboxdistract')(click-goto: "sunglasses", 'sunglassesdistract')(click-goto: "a portrait of young Juliet", 'portraitdistract')(click-goto: "a bloody dagger", 'daggergive')(click-goto: "a bottle of perfume", 'perfumegive')(click-goto: "a cheap plastic cup", 'cupgive')(click-goto: "a wire hanger", 'hangergive')(click-goto: "a pair of sensible shoes", 'shoesgive') Or you can just [[walk away->Act 3]].]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[It's too big for the tray. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "boomboxdistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "2")[You think that you could put the quill through the center of the CD, but you also think “why?" (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "6")(goto: "mixcddistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "4")[He already has one. It's on the [[desk]]. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "give Friar item")] or [[give up->rectory]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[“You could poke somebody pretty hard with the point of this thing!" you say. She stares at you angrily. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[This is perhaps the least interesting thing you could show them. <i>Maybe</i> it's notable that you are carrying it with you, but anybody who can write during this time has a quill. [[Keep trying->a distraction]] or [[back away from the corpse->Act 3]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[You don't think a man breaking his strange “boom box" by pouring ink into it will be enough of a distraction. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "boomboxdistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "2")[It would make quite a mess, but not enough to get the attention you're looking for. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "6")(goto: "mixcddistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "4")[He already has some. It's on the [[desk]]. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "give Friar item")] or [[give up->rectory]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[I guess she could throw it at somebody. Not effective if more than one person shows up, though. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[This would work better in the other extreme: distracting people from the future with ink! “This is what they would use before the days of monitors and holograms!" This is a needlessly wordy way of saying no. [[Keep trying->a distraction]] or [[back away from the corpse->Act 3]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[It would be funny, but you don't think they'd get it. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "boomboxdistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "2")[Instead of one object, you would have two objects next to each other. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "6")(goto: "mixcddistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "4")[You think this would be more confusing than worthwhile. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "give Friar item")] or [[give up->rectory]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[You might be able to set up an elaborate trap in which you set this on the floor for people to slip on the slice of pizza, but that's pretty implausible. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[They would be a little surprised by the shape and portability of the food, but the toppings would look very familiar and not enough to pull them from an active crime scene. [[Keep trying->a distraction]] or [[back away from the corpse->Act 3]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[They would probably fit in the tray but would sound awful. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "boomboxdistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "2")[This doesn't have the distracting dynamism you're looking for. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "6")(goto: "mixcddistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "4")[(if: $cointoss is "yes")[You give him all of the heaven bucks that you didn't throw into the void. He examines them closely, then bites one of the coins. “Such strange markings. This is gold?" You're not sure, but you tell him it is. “I must go deliver this to the Merry Me- some friends. Thank you for this generous donation, my son!" He gives a wink and then runs out of the room. (set: $friar to "absent")(set: $d6 to "3") You are now alone in the [[rectory->d6]].(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "heaven bucks"))](else:)[You give him all but one of your heaven bucks. He examines them closely, then bites one of the coins. “Such strange markings. This is gold?" You're not sure, but you tell him it is. “I must go deliver this to the Merry Me- some friends. Thank you for this generous donation, my son!" He gives a wink and then runs out of the room. (set: $friar to "absent")(set: $d6 to "3") You are now alone in the [[rectory->d6]].]](else-if: $combine is "5")[You are unable to think of a creative way to use this money in self-defense that could even be a little bit effective. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[They've seen coins before. Maybe one person would take notice and you could ask them to pass it around, but you're going need something flashier if you want that dagger. [[Keep trying->a distraction]] or [[back away from the corpse->Act 3]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[Both boring and pointless. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "boomboxdistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "2")[This does not have the bold, “stop looking at a body" appeal you need right now. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "6")(goto: "mixcddistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "4")[He might find it vaguely interesting, but he doesn't look like the kind of guy who knows his way around a kitchen if you're being honest. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "give Friar item")] or [[give up->rectory]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[Only useful if she were to be attacked by a goose. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[This would work better in the other extreme: distracting people from the future with ink! “This is what they would use before the days of monitors and holograms!" This is a needlessly wordy way of saying no. [[Keep trying->a distraction]] or [[back away from the corpse->Act 3]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[You take the CD out of its jewel case, place it inside the mini boom box tray and [[hit play->distracting]].](else-if: $combine is "4")[Yeah, he's not going to have any idea what this is or why this is. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "give Friar item")] or [[give up->rectory]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[I guess she could throw it at somebody like a Frisbee. Not effective if more than one person shows up, though. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[The shiny back of the CD might distract a few people, as might the handmade liner notes with a photo of Biggie and Churchill, but this is a big crowd, and this is a tiny object. Maybe if you pair it with something? (if: $inv's length > 0)[You have (print: $inv.join(", ")).](else:)[Currently, your pockets are empty. That is kind of improbable and, quite honestly, something probably went wrong. Wanna (click-goto: "start over", 'Title')?](click: "a quill")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "quilldistract")](click: "some ink")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "inkdistract")](click: "a slice of pizza")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "pizzadistract")](click: "a disgusting slice of pizza")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "pizzadistract")](click: "heaven bucks")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "heavenbucksdistract")](click: "a recipe")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "recipedistract")](click: "Julia Child's goose recipe")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "recipedistract")](click: "a mini boom box")[(goto: "distracting")](click: "sunglasses")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "sunglassesdistract")](click: "a pair of sensible shoes")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "shoesgive")](click: "a portrait of young Juliet")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "portraitdistract")](click: "a wire hanger")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "hangergive")](click: "a cheap plastic cup")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "cupgive")](click: "a bottle of perfume")[(set: $combine to "2")(goto: "perfumegive")]]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[How would- but... no. (if: $inv's length > 0)[You have (print: $inv.join(", ")).](else:)[Currently, your pockets are empty. That is kind of improbable and, quite honestly, something probably went wrong. Wanna (click-goto: "start over", 'Title')?](click: "a quill")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "quilldistract")](click: "some ink")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "inkdistract")](click: "a slice of pizza")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "pizzadistract")](click: "a disgusting slice of pizza")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "pizzadistract")](click: "heaven bucks")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "heavenbucksdistract")](click: "a recipe")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "recipedistract")](click: "Julia Child's goose recipe")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "recipedistract")](click: "a mix CD")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "mixcddistract")](click: "a mini boom box")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "boomboxdistract")](click: "sunglasses")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "sunglassesdistract")](click: "a pair of sensible shoes")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "shoesgive")](click: "a bottle of perfume")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "perfumegive")](click: "a portrait of young Juliet")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "portraitdistract")](click: "a cheap plastic cup")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "cupgive")](click: "a wire hanger")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "hangergive")]](else-if: $combine is "4")[This will do nothing for him. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "give Friar item")] or [[give up->rectory]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[“You could hit somebody over the head with this!" you say. She stares at you angrily. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[The existence of this object would certainly confuse them. Plastics of any kind would be alarming. But more interesting than the dead body of a person from one of the two most prominent families in Verona? Probably not enough. Maybe if you pair it with something? (if: $inv's length > 0)[You have (print: $inv.join(", ")).](else:)[Currently, your pockets are empty. That is kind of improbable and, quite honestly, something probably went wrong. Wanna (click-goto: "start over", 'Title')?](click: "a quill")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "quilldistract")](click: "some ink")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "inkdistract")](click: "a slice of pizza")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "pizzadistract")](click: "a disgusting slice of pizza")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "pizzadistract")](click: "heaven bucks")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "heavenbucksdistract")](click: "a recipe")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "recipedistract")](click: "Julia Child's goose recipe")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "recipedistract")](click: "a mix CD")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "mixcddistract")](click: "a mini boom box")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "boomboxdistract")](click: "sunglasses")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "sunglassesdistract")](click: "a pair of sensible shoes")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "shoesgive")](click: "a bottle of perfume")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "perfumegive")](click: "a portrait of young Juliet")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "portraitdistract")](click: "a wire hanger")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "hangergive")](click: "a cheap plastic cup")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "cupgive")]](else:)[Maybe if you pair it with something? (if: $inv's length > 0)[You have (print: $inv.join(", ")).](else:)[Currently, your pockets are empty. That is kind of improbable and, quite honestly, something probably went wrong. Wanna (click-goto: "start over", 'Title')?](click: "a quill")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "quilldistract")](click: "some ink")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "inkdistract")](click: "a slice of pizza")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "pizzadistract")](click: "a disgusting slice of pizza")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "pizzadistract")](click: "heaven bucks")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "heavenbucksdistract")](click: "a recipe")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "recipedistract")](click: "Julia Child's goose recipe")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "recipedistract")](click: "a mix CD")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "mixcddistract")](click: "a mini boom box")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "boomboxdistract")](click: "sunglasses")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "sunglassesdistract")](click: "a pair of sensible shoes")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "shoesgive")](click: "a bottle of perfume")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "perfumegive")](click: "a portrait of young Juliet")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "portraitdistract")](click: "a wire hanger")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "hangergive")](click: "a cheap plastic cup")[(set: $combine to "1")(goto: "cupgive")]]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[You love an inanimate object in sunglasses as much as the next guy, but it's probably not going to do much here. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "boomboxdistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "2")[This combination barely interests you. You don't think this'll do much for the crowd. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "6")(goto: "mixcddistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "4")[He might be able to pull these off, but it's pretty sunny in Mantua and you think you might want to hang on to them. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "give Friar item")] or [[give up->rectory]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[This will not help her unless her potential attackers are armed with spotlights. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[The existence of this object would certainly confuse them. Plastics of any kind would be alarming. But more interesting than the dead body of a person from one of the two most prominent families in Verona? Probably not enough. [[Keep trying->a distraction]] or [[back away from the corpse->Act 3]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Suddenly sounds unlike anything anyone in this time period has ever heard begin to emanate from the boom box. (font:"Raleway")[“You thought maybe we were gonna pack it in? / Biggie and Churchill will never, never, never give in!"] raps Winston Churchill under a driving electronic drum beat. Your assumption was correct: this is horrid. However, it does the job of distracting Verona's citizens. They immediately surround your music box and could care less about slain Tybalt. You grab the dagger and [[book it out of there before anyone notices->Act 3]].](if: $inv contains "a bloody dagger")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a bloody dagger"))](set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a mini boom box"))(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a mix CD"))

<br>It's your standard Elizabethan-era dagger. There's a little bit of Tybalt's blood on the blade. You should probably clean that off at some point.<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You sit down in the last pew. Feels good to get off your feet for a moment. You pick up the hymnal, flip through a few pages, then return it. You glance back to the front of the church where the hooded man still stands. “Oh right," you think, “church is boring. I'm bored." Do you [[go talk to the hooded man->approach him]] or [[step back outside->Act 3]]?]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You walk to the other side of the desk and realize that it doesn't have any drawers. Even the desks are boring in church. You can see an ink and quill on the desk, but you already have your own. Nice lookin' Bible, though. (if: $friar is "present")[[[Back to the conversation->rectory]].](else:)[[[Back to the rectory->d6]].]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $friar is "present")[Friar Laurence watches as you walk over the wardrobe, open the door, and look at all of his robes. He doesn't seem to mind your snooping. You think about taking a robe, but you're already walking around in a blue Hawaiian shirt; nobody seems to bat an eye at what you're wearing within this play. [[Back to the conversation->rectory]].](else:)[You walk over the wardrobe, open the door, and look at all the robes. You think about taking a robe, but you're already walking around in a blue Hawaiian shirt; nobody seems to bat an eye at what you're wearing within this play. [[Back to the rectory->d6]].]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[It's a pretty boring bookshelf with a bunch of pretty boring religious books. (if: $inv contains "a portrait of young Juliet")[You already took the portrait. There's nothing else of note in this room. You [[head back outside->Act 3]].](else:)[(if: $friar is "present")[On top of the shelf there sits a set of rosary beads and a framed portrait painted of a very young Juliet Capulet. It feels wrong to take the rosary, but do you [[take the portrait]]?](else:)[On top of the shelf there sits a set of rosary beads and a framed portrait painted of a very young Juliet Capulet. It feels wrong to take the rosary, but that Juliet portrait could be useful. You snag it. With nothing of interest left in the rectory, (link:"you head back outside")[(if: $inv contains "a portrait of young Juliet")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a portrait of young Juliet"))(goto: "Act 3")]].]]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $friar is "present")[“I'm sorry, son, could you leave that there, please?" You're not going to be able to take this thing with him in the room. [[Back to the conversation->rectory]].](else:)[(if: $inv contains "a portrait of young Juliet")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a portrait of young Juliet"))] You pick up the portrait of the titular Juliet and put it in your pocket. With nothing of interest left in the rectory, [[you head back outside->Act 3]].]]

<br>It's a hand-painted portrait of Juliet from back when she was 4 or 5.<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $d6 is "1")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_laurence.jpg">“My man Robin is out there in the Forests of Sherwood as we speak, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor! It's quite fun working with him, I must say! I can't imagine how bored I would be if I just had to do Friar work all day. I'd probably look for distractions and get overly involved in the romantic life of a teenage couple, or something." Do you [[give him something->give Friar item]] or [[get out of here->Act 3]]?](else-if: $d6 is "2")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_laurence.jpg">“I am sorry, young man, but I don't know these people at all. And I'm afraid I'm just far too busy attempting to even out the distribution of capital by exploiting a grey area of the Scripture," he says. Do you [[give him something->give Friar item]] or [[get out of here->Act 3]]?](if: $friar is "absent")[His rectory is sparsely furnished. There are a few unadorned, wooden chairs for lengthy chats, a [[desk]], upon which sits a large Bible, a [[wardrobe]] and [[a shelf]] with various holy tomes. Or you can [[leave->Act 3]].]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[What would you like to give the Friar? (if: $inv's length > 0)[You have (print: $inv.join(", ")).](else:)[Currently, your pockets are empty. That is kind of improbable and, quite honestly, something probably went wrong. Wanna (click-goto: "start over", 'Title')?](click: "a quill")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "quilldistract")](click: "some ink")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "inkdistract")](click: "a slice of pizza")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "pizzadistract")](click: "a disgusting slice of pizza")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "pizzadistract")](click: "heaven bucks")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "heavenbucksdistract")](click: "a recipe")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "recipedistract")](click: "Julia Child's goose recipe")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "recipedistract")](click: "a mix CD")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "mixcddistract")](click: "a mini boom box")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "boomboxdistract")](click: "sunglasses")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "sunglassesdistract")](click: "a bottle of perfume")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "perfumegive")](click: "a cheap plastic cup")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "cupgive")](click: "a wire hanger")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "hangergive")](click: "some bullets")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "bulletsgive")](click: "a bloody dagger")[(set: $combine to "4")(goto: "daggergive")]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "4")[Not really his style. He likes his reminders of murder to be cross-shaped. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "give Friar item")] or [[give up->rectory]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_juliet.jpg">“Here you go!" you say, producing the dagger. “Is that blood?" she asks. It's only then that you remember that this was used by her husband to kill her cousin. “It's <i>very</i> sharp. I cut my finger on it recently. So, we have a deal? The dagger for the gun?" She takes the dagger from you and weighs the decision. “Okay, whatever." You reach out and [[take the gun]] from her.]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[You might be able to prop this up on top of the boom box, but that's about it. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "boomboxdistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "2")[It doesn't really go with that. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "6")(goto: "mixcddistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[This will be hard to justify as a weapon and might creep her out that you're carrying it. Best keep this one hidden. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[They've seen portraits before. They may have even seen <i>this</i> portrait before. [[Keep trying->a distraction]] or [[back away from the corpse->Act 3]]?]]

(set: $julesroom to "2nd")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You reach for the doorknob, but it moves itself away from your hand suddenly. Initially you're shocked that you're face to face with a sentient door before realizing that someone is walking in to the room. Do you (link: "attempt to hide")[(set: $d7 to "1")(goto: "d7")] or (link: "assume a fighting stance")[(set: $d7 to "2")(goto: "d7")]?]

(set: $julesroom to "2nd")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[It would be a shame to waste such a comfortable looking bed. And you've been in heaven for a long time; you're not used to feeling discomfort like humid days and walking brief distances. You lay down on Juliet's bed and close your eyes. Seconds later, the door is flung open and a silhouette stands before you. Do you (link: "jump out of bed and get ready to fight your way out")[(set: $d7 to "2")(goto: "d7")] or (link: "pretend to be asleep and hope they go away")[(set: $d7 to "3")(goto: "d7")]?](set: $bed to $bed + 1)

(set: $julesroom to "2nd")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You're pretty sure that the dresses in this wardrobe for a 13-year-old girl are not in your size. You spy an empty wire hanger. You grab it, ridding the play of another anachronism. Back to [[the room->Act 2.2]].](if: $inv contains "a wire hanger")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a wire hanger"))]

(set: $julesroom to "2nd")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[The light breaks through yonder window. Makes sense. <i>(set: $supernerd to $supernerd + 1)You just unlocked (if: $supernerd is 1)[a](else:)[another] Shakespeare Supernerd Joke! </i><b> Current Total</b>: (print: $supernerd) <i>Collect them all!</i> Back to [[the room->Act 2.2]].]

(set: $julesroom to "2nd")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You look into the mirror. It shows how your precious beauties wear. It also shows that stupid Hawaiian shirt you're wearing. (if: $tybalt is "body")[In front of the mirror there is a small container of perfume labeled “Summer's Day." This'll be perfect for Tybalt's moldering corpse! You grab it.](else:)[In front of the mirror there is a small container of perfume labeled “Summer's Day." Sounds pretty unisex, so you take it.] Back to [[the room->Act 2.2]].](if: $inv contains "a bottle of perfume")[](else-if: $tybalt is "perfume")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a bottle of perfume"))]

<br>It's called "Summer's Day." It has fruity heart notes and a woody base.<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[Better not. You're kind of nervous that it might electrocute you or something. You aren't super knowledgeable about that stuff. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "boomboxdistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "2")[You could make the CD smell nice, but that's not very distracting. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "6")(goto: "mixcddistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "4")[He prefers a spicier scent. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "give Friar item")] or [[give up->rectory]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[You realize she might notice that you took this from her room. You decide to not offer it. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[You're going to have to spray every single person individually for that to work. It's a possibility, but probably not the most efficient method. [[Keep trying->a distraction]] or [[back away from the corpse->Act 3]]?]]

<br>Pretty standard stuff. It's copper colored and very flexible. Nothing of note beyond the fact that it was found in the 1300s.<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[Better not. You're kind of nervous that it might electrocute you or something. You aren't super knowledgeable about that stuff. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "boomboxdistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "2")[You could thread the CD through the hangey end, but... why? (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "6")(goto: "mixcddistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "4")[Might be a nice way to hang some robes, but of little interest to him otherwise. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "give Friar item")] or [[give up->rectory]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[“You could stretch this out and... poke them," you say. “No," her expression clearly states. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[Pretend you've never seen a hanger before. You would find it vaguely notable, at best. [[Keep trying->a distraction]] or [[back away from the corpse->Act 3]]?]]

(set: $dancehall to "2nd")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if:(history:)'s last is "Act 1.5 drove")[Okay. You get out of the car.<br>]The sounds of early rock and roll fill the air as you step into what looks like a high school auditorium. Dozens of young couples swing to the music in the center of the room and dozens more stand on the fringes, observing, many wearing all red or all blue, but most just wearing standard teenage clothing. Do you take this opportunity to [[get some sure-to-be-delicious punch->get some punch]] or [[try dancing]]? Or do you head [[back outside->Act 1.5]]?]

(set: $dancehall to "2nd")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $d9 is "1")[You flag down a group of teens heading your direction. “Yo, yo, yo, ma dudez! What's the haps?" you begin. “It would be mighty heavy of you to lay it on me about this party. And, on the flippety-flop, waz the latest dance? Macarena, still or we all doin' something else now, knowwhatahmean?"](if: $d9 is "2")[You flag down a group of teens heading your direction. “Valorous morrow to thee, gentle youths," you begin. “Couldst thou telleth me some information about yonder party? Eke, what is the popular dance style these days? Is't still Th' Galliard?"](if: $d9 is "3")[You flag down a group of teens heading your direction. “‘Allo, ma dudez!" you begin. “What's the haps hither? Anyone a' youse guys gonna gimme da deetz or does I gotta plug ya?" You have no idea why you slowly transitioned into a 1930s gangster.] They look at you for a moment, and then simultaneously burst into laughter and continue walking. It is impossible to conclude anything from this other than the fact that you were talking to a group of teens. Do you [[head inside->head inside the dance]] or do you(if: $rjvoid is "yes")[](else:)[ [[head left->the void]],] [[head right->Act 2.2]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You hop out into the center of the floor and begin to Paval with the nearest woman. (This is the Elizabethan-era high class dance where you spin in a circle, gently touching the fingertips of your dance partner.) Initially the crowd is shocked, but before long, they're all doing it. You and a bunch of oddly-dressed teenagers Paval for hours, before you're exhausted and can Paval no longer. You decide to [[get some punch]].]

(set: $metriff to "yes")(set: $tapmission to "yes")<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_riff.jpg">(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“Oh, you know Romeo, huh?" he says. “Well, anything I can do for a friend of <i>the</i> most important member of the Jets, I will do." “I want you to let him out of the Jets," you say. “No. Anything else?" “Come on, Riff. It's really important. My entire legacy is dependent on this." Riff narrows his eyes. “Well, if there's a legacy involved... Tell ya what, Will. Me and the boys have a big rumble<sup>1</sup> on Saturday with a competing gang, and we wanna have the edge." “So, you want a knife? A machine gun?" you ask. He looks offended. “What?! That's not how the Jets fight! No! I need you to get me a pair of tap shoes!" (if: $inv contains all of (a:"a pair of sensible shoes", "some bullets"))[Lucky for you, you're pretty sure [[you've got everything you need already.->riffshoes]]](else:)[Tap shoes. Okay. I guess we're finding Riff some tap shoes. So, do you(if: $rjvoid is "yes")[](else:)[ [[head left->the void]],] [[head right->Act 2.2]](if: $parked is "onefive")[, [[drive the car]]](else:)[] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]]?]] <font style="font-size: 75%;"><sup>1.</sup> n, slang. A noisy quarrel; loud, angry contention; a wrangle; a tumult</font>]

(set: $metriff to "yes")<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_riff.jpg">(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“Hey, hey. I'm not looking for trouble. I'm literally only looking for punch." Riff stares you down, looking deep into your eyes. Finally, after for what feels like several Acts of one of your plays, he breaks into laughter. The three punks behind him follow suit. “I like this guy! What's your name?" “Will." “Somebody get Will some punch! He's crazy for it!" This is so weird. A character you didn't create is taking over the narrative of your play. “Anybody tries to give you trouble in Verona, you send 'em to me, Will." He grabs your forearm and embraces you. Did you just join a gang?! You decide it's time to get out of here. Do you(if: $rjvoid is "yes")[](else:)[ [[head left->the void]],] [[head right->Act 2.2]](if: $parked is "onefive")[, [[get in the car->drive the car]]](else:)[] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[[[take a step back and take it all in->map]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]]?]]

<br>You feel like you could shatter it by applying just the slightest amount of pressure. You also feel like it is devoid of punch.<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[You could set it on top, like a little hat, you suppose. Then you immediately suppose that's stupid. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "boomboxdistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "2")[No. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "6")(goto: "mixcddistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "4")[No. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "give Friar item")] or [[give up->rectory]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[It's a cup. You don't even bother to come with a reason and you move on with your life. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[Only distracting if everyone is <i>really</i> thirsty. [[Keep trying->a distraction]] or [[back away from the corpse->Act 3]]?]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You walk in to the tomb. It is dark and silent, with the exception of the occasional drip into a puddle from some corner of the tomb. You can see in front of you(if: $tybalt is "perfume")[ Tybalt's lovely smelling body](else-if: $tybalt is "body")[ (link: "Tybalt's covered body")[(set: $tybalt to "body2")(goto: "Tybalt")]](else-if: $tybalt is "body2")[ (link: "Tybalt's covered body")[(set: $tybalt to "body2")(goto: "Tybalt")]](else:)[ (link: "a body covered in a sheet")[(set: $tybalt to "body")(goto: "Tybalt")]] and(if: $gun is "seen")[ [[Juliet's light->gun]].](else-if: $metjuliet is "yes")[ [[Juliet's light->wake]].](else-if: $gun is "taken")[ you can still see Juliet's light down there, but you don't feel like having someone roll their eyes at you right now.](else:)[ a [[light in the far distance->Juliet]].] Or do you want to [[go back outside->Act 5.3]]?]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $gravejokes is "a")[(set: $gravejokes to "b")This one is for: ‘Prince: Cat of Tybalt's.' Cute.](else-if: $gravejokes is "b")[(set: $gravejokes to "c")This one is for: Friar John. Wow. Nobody makes it out of this play alive.(color: red)[<br><br><i>(set: $supernerd to $supernerd + 1)You just unlocked (if: $supernerd is 1)[a](else:)[another] Shakespeare Supernerd Joke! </i><b>]Current Total</b>: (print: $supernerd) <i>Collect them all!</i>](else-if: $gravejokes is "c")[(set: $gravejokes to "d")This one is for: ‘Pasta Montague: Beloved mother of Romeo.' You never gave her first name in the play with good reason: it's stupid.](else-if: $gravejokes is "d")[(set: $gravejokes to "e")This one is for: ‘Susan Nurse: Too good for this place.' Harsh.<br><br><i>(set: $supernerd to $supernerd + 1)(color: red)[You just unlocked (if: $supernerd is 1)[a](else:)[another] Shakespeare Supernerd Joke! </i><b>]Current Total</b>: (print: $supernerd) <i>Collect them all!</i>](else-if: $gravejokes is "e")[(set: $gravejokes to "f")This one is for: ‘The Nurse's Unnamed Husband.' <br><br>Oh. “The Nurse's husband was named Jerry,” you say out loud to no one. Suddenly “Jerry” appears on the tombstone. Neat.](else-if: $gravejokes is "f")[(set: $gravejokes to "g")This one is for: ‘Anne Hathaway (wife of Shakespeare).' Disambiguated. Earlier in the game you were referred to as a “bachelor.” Huh. Best not to overthink it.<br><br><i>(set: $supernerd to $supernerd + 1)(color: red)[You just unlocked (if: $supernerd is 1)[a](else:)[another] Shakespeare Supernerd Joke! </i>]<b>Current Total</b>: (print: $supernerd) <i>Collect them all!</i>](else-if: $gravejokes is "g")[This one is for: ‘Arthur Brooke. (1563).' Ah, yes. The fellow who wrote the Romeo and Juliet poem. Good that he... is also remembered.](else:)[This one is for Christopher Marlowe. You are unmoved by the information that he has died.(set: $gravejokes to "a")] (if: $gravejokes is "g")[You have seen enough gravestones. You [[head into the Capulet's tomb->tomb]].](else:)[Do you want to [[look at another tombstone->check out all the old tombstones]] or [[head into the Capulet's tomb->tomb]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $tybalt is "body")[This is obviously a very fresh body. And since it's the Capulet's tomb there are only a couple of options. You lift the sheet and are face to face with Tybalt, Juliet's cousin. ](else-if: $tybalt is "body2")[You return to Tybalt's corpse. ](if: $inv contains "a bloody dagger")[He looks very similar to the last time you saw him, but his hair is combed now. ]Poor guy smells awful. For some reason, you cannot allow this indignity to stand. You look into your pockets to see if there's anything you can do about this. (if: $inv contains "a bottle of perfume")[Luckily you have just the thing. You take the lid off the bottle of perfume and dump the contents onto the departed Tybalt. Better.(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a bottle of perfume"))(set: $tybalt to "perfume")](else:)[Sadly, there isn't at the moment, unless you think that slice of pizza is going to do something. (It won't. It will make things worse.) You'll have to keep your eyes peeled, going forward.] Do you(if: $gun is "seen")[ [[continue deeper into the tomb to Juliet->gun]]](else:)[ [[continue deeper into the tomb->Juliet]]] or [[go back outside->Act 5.3]]?]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[As you approach the light you see what is unmistakably Juliet upon her final resting place. For some reason, she is laying on her side so you only see the back of her head, but you are certain it's her. She's either already dead at this point in the play, or she's still knocked out by the Friar's potion. Whichever it is, you decide to [[arrange the body to be on its back->wake]].]

(set: $metjuliet to "yes")<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_juliet.jpg"></h1>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You put your hand on her shoulder. “AHHHH!" says Juliet. “AHHHH!" you say. “What the hell?!" she continues. She takes out her earphones to properly focus on reprimanding you. “I thought you were dead! I'm sorry!" you explain. “Yeah, just like the rest of Verona. <i>Including</i> my husband, I guess," she says, her voice dripping with teenage angst, sarcasm, and boredom simultaneously. “I've been waiting here for a week for Romeo to show up. Aaaaand... nothin'. Not cool. I'm bored as hell, too." (if: $heardofriff is "yes")[Ah, yes. Romeo is trapped in his gang. He can't show up here for the finale. That's a problem.](else:)[Oh dear. Juliet's trapped at the end of your play waiting for her ‘scene partner' to show up and help ‘drop the curtain.' This is a problem. You make a note in [[your notebook]].] Do you: - (link: "introduce yourself")[(set: $di1 to "1")(goto: "di1")]? - (link: "try to make the ending happen")[(set: $di1 to "2")(goto: "di1")]?(if: $heardofriff is "yes")[<br>- (link: "tell her about Romeo's trouble")[(set: $di1 to "3")(goto: "di1")]?](else:)[] Or you can [[go outside->Act 5.3]].](if: $notes contains "note3")[](else:)[(set: $notes to $notes + (a: "note3"))]

(set: $gun to "seen")<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_juliet.jpg">(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if:(history:)'s last is "tomb")[You've got to get that gun away from Juliet.](else:)[You calmly step forward and point the gun away from your heart. “Okay! Yikes. What would you say to giving me the gun?" “I would, but I kind of don't like the idea of hanging out in a tomb without any kind of protection, y'know?" She's got a point.] Maybe you could trade with her? You look in your pockets. (if: $inv's length > 0)[You have (print: $inv.join(", ")).](else:)[Currently, your pockets are empty. That is kind of improbable and, quite honestly, something probably went wrong. Wanna (click-goto: "start over", 'Title')?](click: "a quill")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "quilldistract")](click: "some ink")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "inkdistract")](click: "a slice of pizza")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "pizzadistract")](click: "a disgusting slice of pizza")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "pizzadistract")](click: "heaven bucks")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "heavenbucksdistract")](click: "a portrait of young Juliet")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "portraitdistract")](click: "a recipe")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "recipedistract")](click: "Julia Child's goose recipe")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "recipedistract")](click: "a mix CD")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "mixcddistract")](click: "a mini boom box")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "boomboxdistract")](click: "sunglasses")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "sunglassesdistract")](click: "a bottle of perfume")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "perfumegive")](click: "a cheap plastic cup")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "cupgive")](click: "a bloody dagger")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "daggergive")](click: "a wire hanger")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "hangergive")](click: "a pair of sensible shoes")[(set: $combine to "5")(goto: "shoesgive")]]

(set: $tapmission to "done")(set: $metriff to "done")<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_riff.jpg"></h1>(if:(history:)'s last is "your notebook")[(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Alright. That should be good enough for Romeo. Do you [[head there now->Act 4]] or [[go somewhere else->map]]?]](else:)[(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You finish attaching the last of the bullets to the bottom of the Nurse's comfortable shoes and you hand them over to Riff. “These look very comfortable." He sits down on the floor and begins to change into them as you look on nervously. “How did you know I was a women's 4?" You shrug. He stands up and does a brush forward into a heel drop. It sounds great. He gives you a nod of satisfaction. “Gimme something to write with." You rip a page out of your notebook, and hand it to him along with your quill. He scribbles something down, and hands them back to you. Do you [[read it now->inventory]], [[go directly to Romeo->rjdone]], or [[go somewhere else->map]]?]](set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a pair of sensible shoes"))(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "some bullets"))(if: $inv contains "Riff's note")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "Riff's note"))]

<br>It reads: <br>“To whom it may concern:<br>Romeo ain't a Jet no more, but don't waste him, neither.<br>Love,<br>Riff"<br><br>It'll do.<br>

<br>They are small and metallic. Despite being dangerous, they make a very pleasant clicking noise as they hit each other.<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "4")[This is probably the last thing he needs. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "give Friar item")] or [[give up->rectory]]?]]

(set: $metfriar to "truth")<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_romeo.jpg"></h1>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You return to Romeo, his moping still in progress. Beside him sits Friar Laurence, also moping. They both look up somberly as you approach. “Hello, friends," you say. “Ah... how's Robin Hood?" “I looked <i>everywhere</i> for him, but he doesn't exist. I've figured it out. I'm just a boring old regular friar," he moans. “Yeah. Sorry, pal. But I do come bearing good news!" You [[hand Romeo the note]].](set: $inv to $inv - (a: "Riff's note"))

(if: $inv contains "a bottle of perfume")[(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a bottle of perfume"))(set: $romeomeet to "gone")](if: $inv contains "a wire hanger")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a wire hanger"))]<script>$('html').removeClass('randj').addClass('default');</script>(set: $yourChapter to "Ch. III")<style> img { float: left; } </style>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<center>III. — A Lover's Many Complaints.</center> <img src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3b/Letter_W%2C_drop_capital_illustration.png/120px-Letter_W%2C_drop_capital_illustration.png" width="100" height="100" style="margin-right:3px;">ITH a flash of light, you have returned to St. Genesius's office; back in your traditional, puffy attire. Genesius puts down the large sandwich he was eating, trots over to his book of your plays, and begins scanning the pages. “Mmm-hmmm. Okay. Yep. Fine." He looks up from the book. “Looking good! (if: $cointoss is "beginningrj")[There's a weird thing here at the beginning of <i>Romeo and Juliet</i> where it says ‘The heaven buck disintegrated into nothingness,’ which is certainly odd, but it looks like you took care of all the big stuff.](else-if: $cointoss is "endrj")[There's a weird thing here on the last page of <i>Romeo and Juliet</i> where it says ‘The heaven buck disintegrated into nothingness,' which is certainly odd, but it looks like you took care of all the big stuff.](else:)[Friar Laurence makes a reference to missing his best friend Robin, but we can live with that.]" Do you: - (link: "Ask about the time")[(set: $d2 to "1")(goto: "di2")]? - (link: "Ask if you're done")[(set: $d2 to "2")(goto: "di2")]? - (link: "Ask about your weight")[(set: $d2 to "3")(goto: "di2")]?]

(set: $wit to 1)<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_dorothy.jpg"></h1>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<table><tr> <th colspan="2">THE WIT-OFF SCOREBOARD</th> </tr> <tr> <td><b><center>You</b></center></td> <td><center>(print: $wit)</center></td> </tr> <tr> <td><b><center>Ms. Parker</b></center></td> <td><center>1</center></td> </tr> </table> “Ah, well done," she says with a smile. “So, what's the bad news?" “About our date tonight..." you begin. “Oh, let me guess: You're shipping out tonight and you want to pop inside my place now?" Do you: - (link: "talk about her clothes?")[(set: $wit to $wit + 1)(goto: "Round 2a")] - (link: "make a ship pun?")[(set: $d2 to "1")(goto: "Round 2")] - (link: "be self-deprecating?")[(set: $d2 to "2")(goto: "Round 2")]]

(set: $notes to $notes + (a: "note5"))(set: $hamfiveone to "yes")(set: $usedmap to "never")(set: $partyanimal to 0)<script>$('html').removeClass('flash').addClass('hamlet');</script>(set: $yourChapter to "Ch. IV")<style> img { float: left; } </style>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<center>IV. — MUCH ADO ABOUT DYING.</center> <img src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/13/Letter_Y%2C_drop_capital_illustration.png/100px-Letter_Y%2C_drop_capital_illustration.png" style="margin-right:3px;">OU immediately feel the heat of the sun bearing down on you and your first thought is one of confusion: “why do all my plays get moved to such torrid settings?" You find yourself completely surrounded by exotic animals. The kind you never saw in your lifetime on Earth: giraffe, gazelle, apes and the like. They all seem to be looking in the same direction. Do you [[examine what has captured their attention->Ham 5.1]] or do you [[walk the other way and try to avoid attracting it->Ham 4]]?](if: $inv contains "a poncho")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a poncho"))]

(set: $hamfiveone to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "hammap")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $yorick is "ready")[You are back in the very hot savannah. Do you walk to [[where you left Yorick->pickupreal]]? Or d](else-if: $yorick is "taken")[You are back in the very hot savannah. Whatever was happening on that rock has finished up and, with the exception of some grazing wildebeest on your left, the animals have all gone. “Why are we back here?" asks Yorick. You're not sure. D](else-if: $yorick is "given")[You are back in the very hot savannah. Whatever was happening on that rock has finished up and the animals have all gone. D](else-if: $yorick is "questions")[You are back in the very hot savannah. Do you walk to [[where you left Yorick->pick him up]]? Or d](else-if: $yorick is "mission")[You are back in the very hot savannah. Do you walk to [[where you left Yorick->jokemission]]? Or d](else:)[You look up and see a distinctive rock formation that pierces the sky, but also juts forward, serving as a platform, offering a full view of the savannah. There seems to be an ape of some kind and a lion or something, but you're towards the back and it's hard to make out. The many animals that surround you all drop to one knee. When in Rome, as Ambrose said. You drop to one knee and there, half-buried in the dirt, you see what appears to be a human skull. Odd. Do you [[pick it up]] or [[leave it be]]? Or d]o you [[head left->Ham 4]], [[right->Ham 5.2]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?]]

(set: $hamfour to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "hammap")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $ophelia is "insane")[You stick your head in Ophelia's room. Her absence just makes you sad. Better keep moving. D](else:)[(if: $opheliasroom is "visited")[(if: $ophelia is "sane")[(if: $polonius is "dead")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_ophelia.jpg"></h1>You knock loudly as you enter Ophelia's room. She pulls her headphones off. “Hey, Will. What's up?" You sigh and step forward. “I'm afraid I have some bad news..." You tell her exactly what happened with her father (except for the part about the whistle. No one can say <i>for sure</i> if they're related.) Initially she thinks you're joking, but then it sinks in. She collapses into tears and is inconsolable. “Is there anything I can do?" you ask. “No. I-I just want to listen to my music, I think." You nod, and she pulls her headphones back on and breaks down again.(set: $ophelia to "unhinged") Do you (link: "try to talk to her more")[(set: $d4 to "blah")(goto: "di4unhinged")]? Or do you [[keep silent and just look at her messy floor->Opheliafloor]]?](else:)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_ophelia.jpg"></h1>You knock loudly as you enter Ophelia's room. She pulls her headphones off. “Hey, Will. What's up?" (if: $heardofriff is "op")[Hmmm. She's still an independent person(if: $romeomeet is "op")[ living in the 21st century]. You feel guilty, but you've got to change all that to get <i>Hamlet</i> the play back to the way you wrote it. ]Do you (link: "talk to her")[(set: $d4 to "5")(goto: "di4")] or [[look closer at her messy floor->Opheliafloor]]?]](else-if: $ophelia is "unhinged")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_ophelia.jpg"></h1>You knock loudly as you enter Ophelia's room. Her face is tear-streaked and she's obviously still upset about the news of her father. She takes off her headphones and replies quietly, “Hi, Will." Do you: - (link: "ask her what time period she thinks it is")[(set: $d4 to "4")(goto: "di4unhinged")]? - (link: "try to borrow one of her modern objects")[(set: $d4 to "3")(goto: "di4unhinged")]? (if: $inv contains "a bunch of old Danish coins")[- (link: "ask if you can show her something you just picked up")[(set: $d4 to "5")(goto: "di4unhinged")]?]]](else:)[(if:(history:)'s last is "Ham 5.1")[You are suddenly indoors](else:)[You are suddenly] in what appears to be the bedroom of a teenage girl. On the wall there are posters featuring female singers singing loudly with unfamiliar names like “Liz," “Sleater," and “Bikini." There are books everywhere. <i>Modern</i> books of the kind that don't belong in Denmark in 1600. Time is out of joint. On the bed sits the young lady who occupies this room, dressed in a baggy flannel shirt, reading and listening to very loud music(if: $julesroom is "ham")[. This has gotta be the girl Hamlet was talking about.](else:)[ that you can hear even through it's being played through headphones.] Do you [[get her attention->Ophelia attention]](if: $polonius is "dead")[](else:)[ or [[look closer at her messy floor->Opheliafloor]]]?(set: $ophelia to "engrossed")] Or d]o you [[go left->Ham 3.4]], [[go right->Ham 5.1]], or(if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $usedmap is "never")[You take a step backwards, which allows you to see the lay of the land: ](else:)[<center><h2 style="font-size: 140%;">YOUR <i>HAMLET</i> SCENE NOTES</h2></center>You can see it all from here:] - (if: $hamone is "yes")[[[Elsinore Castle's Ramparts->Ham 1]]](else:)[[[????->Ham 1]]] - (if: $hamthreetwo is "yes")[[[Elsinore Castle's Theatre Stage->Ham 3.2]]](else:)[[[????->Ham 3.2]]] - (if: $hamthreefour is "yes")[[[Gertrude's bedroom->Ham 3.4]]](else:)[[[????->Ham 3.4]]] - (if: $hamfour is "yes")[(if: $ophelia is "sane")[[[Ophelia's room->Ham 4]]](else-if: $ophelia is "unhinged")[[[Ophelia's room->Ham 4]]](else-if: $ophelia is "insane")[[[Ophelia's room->Ham 4]]](else:)[[[The teen girl's room->Ham 4]]]](else:)[[[????->Ham 4]]] - (if: $hamfiveone is "yes")[(if: $yorick is "mission")[[[Yorick's African savannah->Ham 5.1]]](else-if: $yorick is "taken")[[[Yorick's African savannah->Ham 5.1]]](else-if: $yorick is "ready")[[[Yorick's African savannah->Ham 5.1]]](else:)[[[The African savannah->Ham 5.1]]]](else:)[[[????->Ham 5.1]]] - (if: $hamfivetwo is "yes")[[[Elsinore Castle's Main Hall->Ham 5.2]]](else:)[[[????->Ham 5.2]]]]

<br>It is clear plastic, and not all that thick. After <i>R&J</i>, you realize almost immediately that Genesius gave you this to help you avoid the copious blood in the finale.<br>

(set: $metyorick to "yes")<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_yorickns.jpg">(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $d3 is "1")[“I am <i>so</i> sorry," you say. “Yeah, yeah. It's just rude. At least buy a guy a drink first. Ha-CHA!" the skull says, attempting to sell the joke(?). “So, what's a guy with weird hair like you doing at a place like this?"](if: $d3 is "2")[“Ah, yeah. Weird place," says the skull. “This is P▮▮▮▮ Rock. That baby lion, S▮▮▮▮, is going to grow up to be king of everything the light touches in these parts," the skull explains, using several proper names that are registered trademarks of a rather large, litigious corporation. “Not sure how I ended up here, but that's dyin' for ya."(set: $metjuliet to "ha")](if: $d3 is "3")[“Yeah, that's a good question," says the skull. “I used to be a court jester in Denmark. I died a while back. But I guess not even dyin' can stop the performer in me!" Suddenly it clicks for you. You know this skull. It's Yorick. Because he's named in a famous line from your play, people who haven't read it must assume he's a living, breathing character in <i>Hamlet</i>. So, now... he is!(set: $rj_fivethree to "ha")](if: $d3 is "4")[“I just have a few questions, if you don't mind," you say. “Shoot," says the skull.] (if: $yourChapter is "Ch. IV")[(if: $metjuliet is "ha")[(if: $rj_fivethree is "ha")[“So," says the skull. “You got a name?" “Oh, how rude of me. My name is Will." “Yorick. Nice to meet cha." Do you [[take Yorick with you->pick him up]], [[head left->Ham 4]], [[go right->Ham 5.2]], or do you(if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?](set: $yorick to "questions")](else:)[Do you:(if: $metjuliet is "ha")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask about your surroundings")[(set: $d3 to "2")(goto: "di3")]?](if: $rj_fivethree is "ha")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask why he can talk")[(set: $d3 to "3")(goto: "di3")]?]]](else:)[Do you:(if: $metjuliet is "ha")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask about your surroundings")[(set: $d3 to "2")(goto: "di3")]?](if: $rj_fivethree is "ha")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask why he can talk")[(set: $d3 to "3")(goto: "di3")]?]]]]

(set: $yorick to "mission")<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_yorick.jpg">(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You bend down and grab Yorick, holding him gently in your hands. “No. Nope. Absolutely not. Put me down," says Yorick. “Seriously? You want to stay here in the middle of this? A wildebeest just deficated mere feet from your resting place." “You're from Denmark, right?" That's way easier to explain than the truth. You lie and say you are. “Yeah. I'm not going back there until I have some killer new material to crack everybody up." [(link-reveal: "“I'm a writer. What if I write you some new jokes?” you say.")[(show: ?jjjjje)] |jjjjje)[<br><br>The skull thinks it over and begins murmuring to himself. <font style="font-size: 75%;">“‘The Yorick Comeback Show!' No! ‘Yorick's Back to Skull Special! Heya folks! Nice to be here!'"</font> You clear your throat. “Yeah, okay. You write me some material- <i>funny</i> material, and I'll go back to Denmark with you." Do you(if: $notes contains "some killer topical material")[ [[show him Gus's topical material->jokemission]]](else-if: $inv contains "a Danish newspaper")[ [[show him the Danish newspaper->jokemission]]](else:)[ [[try out some of your current material->current material]]], [[try to convince him to go with you now->go now]], or [(link-reveal: "keep moving")[(show: ?uhllh)]? |uhllh)[<br><br>You can either [[go left->Ham 4]], [[go right->Ham 5.2]], or(if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?]]]]]]

(set: $hamfivetwo to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "hammap")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $hamletplay is "finale")[“Scrooge!" you yell once again as you enter this room. This time you get a response. “Yes?" “I'm here to- O me, the gods! There's blood everywhere." There is. This entire room is covered in blood. [[Yikes]].](else:)[(if:(history:)'s last is "Ham 5.1")[As if by magic, you find yourself in Elsinore Castle, in Denmark.](else:)[You find yourself in Elsinore Castle, in Denmark.] (if: $tapmission is "ham")[You're back in Elsinore's official Grand Dueling Hall.](else:)[The room is massive; high ceilings, an enormous floor. This hall could hold hundreds.] There's no one here. Just the echo of your footsteps. There are [[portraits]] on the wall(if: $inv contains "a Danish newspaper")[ and a large [[blood stain]] in the center of the floor](else:)[, a large [[blood stain]] in the center of the floor, and... some kind of [[paper]] in the far corner]. Do you [[head left->Ham 5.1]](if: $hamvoid is "yes")[](else:)[, [[head right->voidham]],] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?]]]

(set: $hamone to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "hammap")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $randgmission is "finished")[(if:(history:)'s last is "Ham 5.1")[You're still outside, back](else:)[You're back outside] on the ramparts of Elsinore Castle. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern have passed on to their great reward, which you assume is kickin' back and doing a lot of air guitar. With them gone, though, there's not an awful lot to do out here. So instead, d](else:)[(if: $randgmeet is "yes")[(if:(history:)'s last is "Ham 5.1")[You're still outside, back](else:)[You're back outside] on the ramparts of Elsinore Castle. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern stand before you once again, floating, (if: $inv contains "sunglasses")[translucent](else:)[wearing sunglasses] and a little bit blue. (if: $randgmission is "active")[Do you (link: "try to give them something")[(set: $rosengive to "null")(goto: "giverandg")]? Or d](else:)[Do you [[return to your conversation with them->di8]]? Or d]](else:)[(if:(history:)'s last is "Ham 5.1")[You're still outside but the situation is very different. It's pitch black, it's cold, and you stand on the ramparts of Elsinore Castle.](else:)[You find yourself outside in the middle of the night, out on the freezing cold ramparts of Elsinore Castle.] To your left stand two sentinels stoically guarding the castle from anyone who dare invade Denmark. To your right, two ghosts. You look left again: the guards are now running in the opposite direction. Do you [[approach the ghosts->ghosts]] or [[follow the guards]]? Or d]]o you(if: $hamvoid is "yes")[](else:)[ [[go left->voidham]],] [[go right->Ham 3.2]], or(if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $ophelia is "insane")[(if: $partyanimal is 5)[“Scrooge!" you yell out. Your voice echoes through the room. The theatre is empty. Your buddy Gus is long gone. The audience has left. The floors have been swept. On a stool on the stage, in a solo spotlight, sits the skull of Yorick, quietly muttering to himself. Do you ask him (link: "what went wrong")[(set: $d1 to "1")(goto: "dia1")] or (link: "ask him about Scrooge")[(set: $d1 to "2")(goto: "dia1")]?](else:)[(go-to: "Ham 3.2real")]](else:)[(go-to: "Ham 3.2real")]]

(set: $hamthreefour to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "hammap")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $whistle is "blown")[(if: $polonius is "discovered")[(go-to: "Ham 3.4whistleblown")](else:)[That low rumble you heard when you blew the repaired whistle has gotten even louder. (if: $hamletmeet is "yes")[Hamlet, still hard at work, doesn't seem to care or notice, but y](else:)[Y]ou see that the tapestry is shaking against the wall, revealing a pair of legs hidden behind it. Do you decide to immediately [[examine the tapestry->tapestry]]] or d](else:)[(if: $yorick is "given")[(if: $polonius is "dead")[You are back in Gertrude's bedroom. (if: $gaveportrait is "ger")[The bloodstain from Polonius and the bed are still there, but ](else:)[You can try to ignore Polonius's bloodstain and [[check out the bed->hop into bed]], but besides that, ]without Hamlet to talk to there's really not a lot to do in here. D]](else:)[You find yourself in a(if: $opheliasroom is "visited")[nother] bedroom within the Danish castle Elsinore. ](if: $yorick is "given")[](else:)[(if: $gaveportrait is "ger")[(if: $polonius is "discovered")[Big bed, big tapestry. Still there.](else-if: $polonius is "dead")[Big bed, big blood-stained tapestry. Still there.](else:)[On your right is Gertrude's bed, and beyond it, taking up the entire length of the wall, a massive, ornate tapestry.]](else-if: $polonius is "discovered")[(if: $gaveportrait is "ger")[](else:)[At your right there is a massive queen-sized bed, and beyond it, Polonius's bad hiding spot.](else-if: $polonius is "dead")[(if: $gaveportrait is "ger")[](else:)[At your right there is a massive queen-sized bed, and beyond it, the late Polonius's final resting place.]]](else:)[At your right there is a massive queen-sized bed, and beyond it, taking up the entire length of the wall, a massive, ornate tapestry.] (if: $hamletmeet is "yes")[Hamlet is still hard at work at his desk. Do you (if: $ophelia is "unhinged")[(if: $bigask is "asked")[(link: "approach him")[(set: $d5 to "15")(goto: "di5")]](else:)[(link: "approach him")[(set: $d5 to "11")(goto: "di5")]]](else:)[(link: "approach him")[(set: $d5 to "11")(goto: "di5")]]](else:)[Directly in front of you sits a young man with his back to you, in 17th century clothing. Do you [[approach the boy->meet Hamlet]]],(if: $gaveportrait is "ger")[](else:)[ [[hop into bed]],] or(if: $polonius is "discovered")[ [[return to Polonius->Polonius]]](else-if: $polonius is "dead")[ [[reflect on Polonius' death]]](else:)[ [[examine the tapestry->tapestry]]]? Or d]]o you [[go left->Ham 3.2]], [[go right->Ham 4]], or(if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?]]

(if: $yourChapter is "Ch. IV")[<u>STUFF TO FIX IN <i>HAMLET</i></u> (if: $hamlet is "complete")[<strike>- Hamlet has accepted his father's death and his mom remarrying - The antagonist is now someone called Ebenezer Scrooge - Hamlet asked you to tell Ophelia about Polonius's death - Ophelia seems to be living in the wrong time period - Ophelia is an independent, self-assured young woman who is not defined by her relationship with Hamlet - Yorick needs to stop talking - Yorick won't go back to Elsinore unless he has some new comedy material - The play-within-a-play is all messed up. - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern want to have a “real party animal college experience" before they pass on</strike>](else:)[(if: $rj_act4 is "ham")[(if: $hamlet is "rich")[(if: $yorick is "given")[<strike><br>- Hamlet is fine with his messed up family because he's rich</strike>](else:)[<br>- Hamlet is fine with his messed up family because he's rich]](else:)[<br>- Hamlet has accepted his father's death and his mom remarrying]](if: $scrooge is "known")[<br>- Hamlet's uncle is named Scrooge instead of Claudius](else-if: $scrooge is "heardof")[<br>- The antagonist is (if: $dickens is "scrooge")[a character from Charles Dickens' stories](else:)[now someone called Ebenezer Scrooge]](if: $bigask is "completed")[<br><strike>- Hamlet asked you to tell Ophelia about Polonius's death</strike>](else-if: $bigask is "asked")[<br>- Hamlet asked you to tell Ophelia about Polonius's death](if: $ophelia is "sane")[<br>- Ophelia seems to be living in the wrong time period](else-if: $ophelia is "unhinged")[<br>- Ophelia seems to be living in the wrong time period](else-if: $ophelia is "insane")[<strike><br>- Ophelia seems to be living in the wrong time period</strike>](if: $ophelia is "insane")[<strike><br>- Ophelia is an independent, self-assured young woman who is not defined by her relationship with Hamlet</strike>](else-if: $heardofriff is "op")[<br>- Ophelia is an independent, self-assured young woman who is not defined by her relationship with Hamlet](else:)[](if: $metyorick is "yes")[(if: $yorick is "given")[<strike><br>- Yorick needs to stop talking</strike>](else:)[<br>- Yorick needs to stop talking]](else:)[](if: $yorick is "mission")[<br>- Yorick won't go back to Elsinore unless he has some new comedy material](else-if: $yorick is "taken")[<strike><br>- Yorick won't go back to Elsinore unless he has some new comedy material</strike>](else-if: $yorick is "given")[<strike><br>- Yorick won't go back to Elsinore unless he has some new comedy material</strike>](else:)[](if: $hamone is "yes")[(if: $randgmeet is "yes")[(if: $randgmission is "finished")[<br><strike>- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead at the beginning of the play</strike>](else:)[<br>- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead at the beginning of the play]](else:)[<br>- There are two ghosts instead of just the one]](else:)[](if: $play > 1)[<br>- The play-within-a-play is all messed up.](else:)[](if: $randgmission is "aware")[<br>- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern want to have a “real party animal college experience" before they pass on](else-if: $randgmission is "active")[<br>- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern want to have a “real party animal college experience" before they pass on](else-if: $randgmission is "finished")[<strike><br>- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern want to have a “real party animal college experience" before they pass on</strike>](else:)[](if: $hamvoid is "yes")[]]](else:)[<u>(link-reveal:"STUFF TO FIX IN <i>HAMLET</i>")[(show: ?hlgdf)]</u> |hlgdf)[(if: $hamlet is "complete")[<strike>- Hamlet has accepted his father's death and his mom remarrying - The antagonist is now someone called Ebenezer Scrooge - Hamlet asked you to tell Ophelia about Polonius's death - Ophelia seems to be living in the wrong time period - Ophelia is an independent, self-assured young woman who is not defined by her relationship with Hamlet - Yorick needs to stop talking - Yorick won't go back to Elsinore unless he has some new comedy material - The play-within-a-play is all messed up. - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern want to have a “real party animal college experience" before they pass on</strike>](else:)[(if: $rj_act4 is "ham")[(if: $hamlet is "rich")[(if: $yorick is "given")[<strike><br>- Hamlet is fine with his messed up family because he's rich</strike>](else:)[<br>- Hamlet is fine with his messed up family because he's rich]](else:)[<br>- Hamlet has accepted his father's death and his mom remarrying]](if: $scrooge is "known")[<br>- Hamlet's uncle is named Scrooge instead of Claudius](else-if: $scrooge is "heardof")[<br>- The antagonist is (if: $dickens is "scrooge")[a character from Charles Dickens' stories](else:)[now someone called Ebenezer Scrooge]](if: $bigask is "completed")[<br><strike>- Hamlet asked you to tell Ophelia about Polonius's death</strike>](else-if: $bigask is "asked")[<br>- Hamlet asked you to tell Ophelia about Polonius's death](if: $ophelia is "sane")[<br>- Ophelia seems to be living in the wrong time period](else-if: $ophelia is "unhinged")[<br>- Ophelia seems to be living in the wrong time period](else-if: $ophelia is "insane")[<strike><br>- Ophelia seems to be living in the wrong time period</strike>](if: $ophelia is "insane")[<strike><br>- Ophelia is an independent, self-assured young woman who is not defined by her relationship with Hamlet</strike>](else-if: $heardofriff is "op")[<br>- Ophelia is an independent, self-assured young woman who is not defined by her relationship with Hamlet](else:)[](if: $metyorick is "yes")[(if: $yorick is "given")[<strike><br>- Yorick needs to stop talking</strike>](else:)[<br>- Yorick needs to stop talking]](else:)[](if: $yorick is "mission")[<br>- Yorick won't go back to Elsinore unless he has some new comedy material](else-if: $yorick is "taken")[<strike><br>- Yorick won't go back to Elsinore unless he has some new comedy material</strike>](else-if: $yorick is "given")[<strike><br>- Yorick won't go back to Elsinore unless he has some new comedy material</strike>](else:)[](if: $hamone is "yes")[(if: $randgmeet is "yes")[(if: $randgmission is "finished")[<br><strike>- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead at the beginning of the play</strike>](else:)[<br>- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead at the beginning of the play]](else:)[<br>- There are two ghosts instead of just the one]](else:)[](if: $play > 1)[<br>- The play-within-a-play is all messed up.](else:)[](if: $randgmission is "aware")[<br>- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern want to have a “real party animal college experience" before they pass on](else-if: $randgmission is "active")[<br>- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern want to have a “real party animal college experience" before they pass on](else-if: $randgmission is "finished")[<strike><br>- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern want to have a “real party animal college experience" before they pass on</strike>](else:)[](if: $hamvoid is "yes")[]]]] ----

(if: $yourChapter is "Ch. III")[(if: $wit is 5)[An official note in your notebook indicating that you defeated Dorothy Parker in the Wit-Off. No easy feat! Lack nothing: be merry!](else-if: $wit is 4)[An official note in your notebook indicating that you tied Dorothy Parker in the Wit-Off. No easy feat! Lack nothing: be merry!]](else:)[(if: $wit > 3)[<u>(link-reveal:"WIT")[(show: ?hlgde)]</u> |hlgde)[(if: $wit is 5)[An official note in your notebook indicating that you defeated Dorothy Parker in the Wit-Off. No easy feat! Lack nothing: be merry!](else-if: $wit is 4)[An official note in your notebook indicating that you tied Dorothy Parker in the Wit-Off. No easy feat! Lack nothing: be merry!]]]] ----

(set: $yorickconvince to "tried")<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_yorick.jpg">(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“Look, I know you really want to premiere with new stuff in Denmark," you begin, “but wouldn't getting on the road and travelling be a great way to inspire new material?" “I'm not going to hit the road without any material to work out!" Yorick says. “I've been dead for years now. My references are all out of date. Nope. I've gotta have new <i>funny</i> stuff or I'm staying right here next to the wildebeest poop. <font style="font-size: 75%;">(Who cares? Don't have a nose anymore, anyway.)</font>" Do you [[try out some of your current material->current material]], [[go left->Ham 4]], [[go right->Ham 5.2]], or(if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?]]

(if: $yourChapter is "Ch. IV")[<u>TOPICAL JOKES</u> 1. Wow, did you hear this about King Hamlet's death? True story. Yeah, the coroner's report says it was natural causes. He was king, so it's only natural he'd get murdered! (Hey-OH!) 2. What else is in the news? Oh! There's a visiting theater troupe in town, pretty exciting. Their goal is to take the king's mind off of the recent tragedy. I'm of course referring to last night's Royal Improv night. (Ya burnt!) 3. You know, you just can't make these things up. A new study is saying that 76% of Danes suffer from depression. Yeah. The other 24% got off the boat a couple of minutes ago. Give 'em time, amiright?!](else:)[<u>(link-reveal:"TOPICAL JOKES")[(show: ?hlgdg)]</u> |hlgdg)[1. Wow, did you hear this about King Hamlet's death? True story. Yeah, the coroner's report says it was natural causes. He was king, so it's only natural he'd get murdered! (Hey-OH!) 2. What else is in the news? Oh! There's a visiting theater troupe in town, pretty exciting. Their goal is to take the king's mind off of the recent tragedy. I'm of course referring to last night's Royal Improv night. (Ya burnt!) 3. You know, you just can't make these things up. A new study is saying that 76% of Danes suffer from depression. Yeah. The other 24% got off the boat a couple of minutes ago. Give 'em time, amiright?!]] ----

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $combine is "1")[You could set them on top, you suppose. But to what end? (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "boomboxdistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "2")[They're comfortable, but they'll probably break the CD. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "6")(goto: "mixcddistract")] or [[give up->Act 3]]?](else-if: $combine is "5")[You could throw each of these, but if three people show up, she's sunk. (link: "Keep trying")[(set: $combine to "3")(goto: "gun")] or [[give up->Act 5.3]]?](else-if: $combine is "6")[The obvious comfort is potentially distracting, but probably not enough. [[Keep trying->a distraction]] or [[back away from the corpse->Act 3]]?]]

(set: $opheliasroom to "visited")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $attention is "1")[(set: $attention to "2")“Hey!" you shout. She doesn't notice you. (link-goto: "Try again", 'Ophelia attention')?](else-if: $attention is "2")[(set: $attention to "3")“HEY!" Nothing. (link-goto: "Try again", 'Ophelia attention')?](else-if: $attention is "3")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_ophelia.jpg"></h1>You look to your right and see a poster featuring someone called “The Cure." You touch it. “Hey!" the young lady says, pulling the headphones off her ears. “Who said you could touch my stuff? Who the hell are you?!" “So, sorry. My name is Will. I'm a friend of Hamlet's," you lie. “You look like you're, like, thirty." You're 52. You decide to not correct her. “Uh, did you not see the sign that said ‘Ophelia's room! Stay out?'" (set: $ophelia to "sane") (if: $polonius is "dead")[(if: $bigask is "asked")[“So, I know we've only just met, but I'm afraid your boyfriend has sent me on a... rather sensitive errand."(set: $ophelia to "unhinged") (link-reveal: "“Oh?”")[(show: ?hhhhhhhd)] |hhhhhhhd)[ You tell her exactly what happened with her father (except for the part about the whistle. No one can say <i>for sure</i> if they're related.) Initially she thinks you're joking, but then it sinks in. She collapses into tears and is inconsolable. “Is there anything I can do?" you ask. “No. I-I just want to listen to my music, I think." You nod, and she pulls her headphones back on and breaks down again. Do you (link: "try to talk to her more")[(set: $d4 to "blah")(goto: "di4unhinged")]? (if: $floor is "examined")[](else:)[Or do you [[keep silent and just look at her messy floor->Opheliafloor]]?]]](else:)[“Ophelia! Oh. Oh my," you sigh. “I know we've only just met, but I'm afraid I have a... rather sad duty."(set: $ophelia to "unhinged") (link-reveal: "“Oh?”")[(show: ?hhhhhhhd)] |hhhhhhhd)[ You tell her exactly what happened with her father (except for the part about the whistle. No one can say <i>for sure</i> if they're related.) Initially she thinks you're joking, but then it sinks in. She collapses into tears and is inconsolable. “Is there anything I can do?" you ask. “No. I-I just want to listen to my music, I think." You nod, and she pulls her headphones back on and breaks down again. Do you (link: "try to talk to her more")[(set: $d4 to "blah")(goto: "di4unhinged")]? (if: $floor is "examined")[](else:)[Or do you [[keep silent and just look at her messy floor->Opheliafloor]]?]]]](if: $ophelia is "unhinged")[](else:)[“<i>Very</i> sorry, Ophelia. Just [(link-reveal: "a quick question")[(show: ?dddeded)]]."] |dddeded)[<br><br>Do you: (if: $floor is "examined")[](else:)[- [[take a closer look at the junk on her floor->Opheliafloor]]?] (if: $heardofriff is "op")[(if: $romeomeet is "op")[(if: $tybalt is "op")[- (link: "ask her if she still thinks it's the 21st century")[set: $d4 to "5")(goto: "di4")?]]]](else:)[- (link: "ask her about Hamlet")[(set: $d4 to "2")(goto: "di4")]?](if: $romeomeet is "op")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask her what year she thinks it is")[(set: $d4 to "3")(goto: "di4")]?](if: $tybalt is "op")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask her if she likes the music of William Byrd")[(set: $d4 to "4")(goto: "di4")]?]]](else:)[You wave your arms. She doesn't notice you. (link: "Try again")[(set: $attention to "1")(goto: "Ophelia attention")]?]]

(set: $opheliasroom to "visited")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $floor is "examined")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_ophelia.jpg"></h1>It's still a mess of modern material. Names like “SLC Punk," “Dickens," and “Tigre" jump out at you. Do you:(if: $ophelia is "unhinged")[<br>- (link: "try to take some of this modern stuff")[(set: $d4 to "3")(goto: "di4unhinged")]?](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask her about Hamlet")[(set: $d4 to "2")(goto: "di4")]?(if: $romeomeet is "op")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask her what year she thinks it is")[(set: $d4 to "3")(goto: "di4")]?](if: $tybalt is "op")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask her if she likes the music of William Byrd")[(set: $d4 to "4")(goto: "di4")]?]<br>- (link: "try to take some of this modern stuff")[(set: $d4 to "1")(goto: "di4")]?(if: $heardofriff is "op")[(if: $romeomeet is "op")[(if: $tybalt is "op")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she still thinks it's the 21st century")[set: $d4 to "5")(goto: "di4")?]]]]]](else:)[(if: $ophelia is "engrossed")[You examine the floor. So many things from the future that shouldn't be here: books by Nin, Tolkien, Dickens, John Green. CDs and DVDs everywhere. There's a closed laptop next to the bed. You pick up a piece of cloth to investigate it. You see the label and you realize what you're holding: “FortinBras." <i>Oh, dear.</i> “Ew!" you exclaim loudly when you realize what you've just touched. “Hey!" the young woman says, pulling the headphones off her ears. “Who the hell are you?!" “So, sorry. My name is Will. I'm a friend of Hamlet's," you lie. “You look like you're, like, thirty." You're 52. You decide to not correct her. “Uh, did you not see the sign that said ‘Ophelia's room! Stay out?'" “<i>Very</i> sorry, Ophelia. Just a quick question:" Do you: - (link: "try to take some of this modern stuff")[(set: $d4 to "1")(goto: "di4")]? (if: $heardofriff is "op")[(if: $romeomeet is "op")[(if: $tybalt is "op")[- (link: "ask her if she still thinks it's the 21st century")[set: $d4 to "5")(goto: "di4")?]]]](else:)[- (link: "ask her about Hamlet")[(set: $d4 to "2")(goto: "di4")]?](if: $romeomeet is "op")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask her what year she thinks it is")[(set: $d4 to "3")(goto: "di4")]?](if: $tybalt is "op")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask her if she likes the music of William Byrd")[(set: $d4 to "4")(goto: "di4")]?](set: $ophelia to "sane")(set: $floor to "examined")](else-if: $ophelia is "sane")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_ophelia.jpg"></h1>“Wow, you've got a lot of cool stuff," you say. “I guess. I kind of have eclectic taste." All of this stuff is after your time; you have no idea if that's true or not. So many things from the future that shouldn't be here: books by Nin, Tolkien, Dickens, John Green. CDs and DVDs everywhere. There's a closed laptop next to the bed. You pick up a piece of cloth to investigate it. You see the label and you realize what you're holding: “FortinBras." <i>Oh, dear.</i> “Ew!" you exclaim when you realize what you've just touched. “Come on, dude," Ophelia says. Do you: - (link: "try to take some of this modern stuff")[(set: $d4 to "1")(goto: "di4")]?(if: $heardofriff is "op")[(if: $romeomeet is "op")[(if: $tybalt is "op")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she still thinks it's the 21st century")[set: $d4 to "5")(goto: "di4")]?]]](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask her about Hamlet")[(set: $d4 to "2")(goto: "di4")]?](if: $romeomeet is "op")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask her what year she thinks it is")[(set: $d4 to "3")(goto: "di4")]?](if: $tybalt is "op")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask her if she likes the music of William Byrd")[(set: $d4 to "4")(goto: "di4")]?](set: $floor to "examined")](else-if: $ophelia is "unhinged")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_ophelia.jpg"></h1>It's still a mess of modern material. Names like “SLC Punk," “Dickens," and “Tigre" jump out at you. Do you: - (link: "try to borrow some of this modern stuff")[(set: $d4 to "3")(goto: "di4unhinged")]?(if: $heardofriff is "op")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask her about Hamlet")[(set: $d4 to "2")(goto: "di4unhinged")]?] - (link: "try once again to talk to her")[(set: $d4 to "1")(goto: "di4unhinged")]? - (link: "ask her what time period she thinks it is")[(set: $d4 to "4")(goto: "di4unhinged")]?]]]

<br>You don't know much about skateboards, but you do know this board's truck axles seem a little too wide for the width of the deck. (You don't know much, but what you do know is incredibly specific.)<br>

(set: $bed to $bed + 1)(set: $gertrudesroom to "visited")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You flop onto the four-poster bed. It's very soft (if: $bed is 2)[(you would say <i>too</i> soft)](else-if: $bed is 3)[(somewhere between your heaven bed's level of softness and Juliet's)]. From this vantage you have a full view of the ornate canopy draped above the bed. Do you [[examine it closer->examinetapestry]] or [[get out of bed->Ham 3.4]]?]

(set: $gertrudesroom to "visited")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $whistle is "blown")[It's a beautiful tapestry, but you're more interested in the human-shaped lump behind it. It dawns on you: this is Polonius. Ophelia's dad. In your original version of the play, he spies on Hamlet in this scene, and eventually Hamlet murders him. You poke the lump as the rumbling gets [[even louder->stampede]].](else:)[You plant yourself before the arras<sup>1</sup> and admire. It's a beautifully woven thing depicting a hunting scene in the countryside. There are men on horses; a loping deer; a dog with a goose in its jaws, presenting it to a rich Lord. It's a true work of art. The main thing that stands out to you about it, however, is the large lump in the middle connected to a pair of boots below its bottom edge. Do you [[poke the lump->Polonius]](if: $gaveportrait is "ger")[](else:)[, [[hop into bed]],] or [[approach the boy->meet Hamlet]]? Or do you [[go left->Ham 3.2]], [[go right->Ham 4]], or(if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?] <font style="font-size: 75%;"><sup>1.</sup> n. a rich figured fabric; especially, a screen or hangings of heavy cloth with interwoven figures; useful word for solving crossword puzzles</font>]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You squint your eyes and focus on the decorative canopy. As you do, you realize that embroidered very intricately into the fabric is a Greek legend. You can see a king, death, and a riddle being solved. It would appear that there is something very Oedipal hanging over this scene in Gertrude's room. (set: $supernerd to $supernerd + 1)(color: red)[<b>You just unlocked (if: $supernerd is 1)[a](else:)[another] Shakespeare Supernerd Joke! </i>]<b>Current Total</b>: (print: $supernerd) <i>Collect them all!</i> You [[get out of bed->Ham 3.4]].](set: $gaveportrait to "ger")

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $polonius is "discovered")[You return to the lump in the tapestry and give another poke in the midsection. “I told you to get away!" Polonius says. You have a very distinctive poke. He's really intent on spying. Better move on.](else:)[You poke the lump right where you think the belly would be. “Hey! Stop it," says the muffled voice. Your suspicions are confirmed. This is Polonius, Ophelia's father, spying on Hamlet. In your play as written, this move leads to the old man's demise. (if: $hamletmeet is "yes")[But with acting Hamlet so different now, that murder is a long way off. ] “How long have you been back there, Polonius?" “Get away from me! I'm spying!" he whispers. He's very focused on observing Hamlet. You're not going to get anywhere talking to this hidden man.] Do you (if: $hamletmeet is "yes")[(link: "talk to Hamlet")[(set: $polonius to "discovered")(set: $d5 to "11")(goto: "di5")]](else:)[(link: "talk to the boy")[(set: $polonius to "discovered")(goto: "meet Hamlet")]], (if: $gaveportrait is "ger")[](else:)[(link: "hop into bed, ")[(set: $polonius to "discovered")(goto: "hop into bed")]](link: "go left")[(set: $polonius to "discovered")(goto: "Ham 3.2")], (link: "go right")[(set: $polonius to "discovered")(goto: "Ham 4")], or (link: "consult the map")[(set: $polonius to "discovered")(goto: "hammap")]?]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $gallery > 1)[It's the portraits, (if: $gallery > 50)[but you knew that because you saw them. <i>All</i> of them.](else:)[some of which are splattered with blood (if: $tapmission is "ham")[from, no doubt, some previous duels that have taken place here. They should really cover these things before a fight](else:)[for some reason].]](else:)[Lining the length of both walls there are enormous portraits of previous Danish monarchs. There are a lot of Christians, Fredericks and Erics occasionally splattered with blood (if: $tapmission is "ham")[from, no doubt, some previous duels that have taken place here. They should really cover these things before a fight](else:)[for some reason].] You can either [[return to front of the hall->Ham 5.2]] or you can (link: "examine the paintings and roast these Danish monarchs based only on their looks")[(set: $gallery to it + 1)(goto: "gallerywalk")].]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[It's a huge blood stain. It looks as though there was an attempt to clean it at some point, but it set in. Based on the location you determine this must be where all the big royal duels happen. [[Return to front of the hall->Ham 5.2]].] (set: $tapmission to "ham")

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You walk over to it. It's a current (within the play) copy of a newspaper. You pick it up. (if: $inv contains "a Danish newspaper")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a Danish newspaper"))] [[Return to front of the hall->Ham 5.2]].]

(set: $hamvoid to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $rjvoid is "yes")[Just as with <i>Romeo and Juliet</i> you've now gone too far and are staring at empty white nothingness.](else:)[There is nothing but white nothingness here. It makes sense: you never wrote anything in this direction.] You hold tight to (if:(history:)'s last is "Ham 1")[a flag from atop Castle Elsinore's ramparts](else-if:(history:)'s last is "Ham 5.2")[the edge of one of the many portraits of Danish kings from the hall] to stop yourself from tumbling into non-existence. (if: $cointoss is "yes")[You still remember that Heaven Buck that disappeared into nothingness back in the last play. You know what could happen to you. You can either (link-goto: "head back", (history:)'s last) or [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]].](if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[You can either (link-goto: "head back", (history:)'s last), [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->map]], or [(link-reveal: "throw your last Heaven Buck into the void")[(show: ?lqkejgr)] to see what happens. |lqkejgr)[<br><br>You do it. It falls for about two feet and then disintegrates before your eyes. You don't think it would be a good idea to follow it. (if:(history:)'s last is "Ham 1")[(set: $cointoss to "beginningham")](if:(history:)'s last is "Ham 5.2")[(set: $cointoss to "endham")][(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "heaven bucks"))]]](else:)[You (link-goto: "head back to safer ground", (history:)'s last).]]]

<br>It's the March 3rd, 1600 edition of <i>The Dane Dealer</i>. The headline is about Hamlet's mom's second marriage: “Queen Takes King at H2."<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $gallery is 1)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/1.jpg"></h1>“Frederick II. 1 January 1559– 4 April 1588." Nice sash, <i>idiot</i>. You look like a hot dog.](if: $gallery is 2)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/2.jpg"></h1>“Christian III. 4 July 1534–1 January 1559." Did you style your beard that way on purpose or were you trying to give your Adam's apple some sun?](if: $gallery is 3)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/3.jpg"></h1>“Frederick I. 13 April 1523–10 April 1533." Did you insult your portrait painter or were you just that pissed off the entire sitting?](if: $gallery is 4)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/4.jpg"></h1>“Christian II. 22 July 1513–20 January 1523." Nice hat. I didn't realize you invented the eclipse.](if: $gallery is 5)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/5.jpg"></h1>“John. 21 May 1481–20 February 1513." Your armour's bent.](if: $gallery is 6)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/6.jpg"></h1>“Christian I. 28 September 1448–21 May 1481." Wow. You must have ruled before they had invented “the ability to paint a human being."](if: $gallery is 7)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/7.jpg"></h1>“Christopher III. 9 April 1440 –5/6 January 1448." Is that a crown or is there a royal lamp missing its shade?](if: $gallery is 8)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/8.jpg"></h1>“Eric VII. 17 June 1397 – 1439." With looks like yours, I can't believe you were the 7th attempt at an Eric.](if: $gallery is 9)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/9.jpg"></h1>“Margaret I. 1376–1412." Oh. A lady. You would never roast a lady you weren't dating.](if: $gallery is 10)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/10.jpg"></h1>“Olaf II. 3 May 1376 – 1387." You were painted in profile, but there's no <i>way</i> that's your good side.](if: $gallery is 11)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/11.jpg"></h1>“Valdemar IV Atterdag. 21 June 1340 – 1375." You look like you belong on a board game. And not a good one.](if: $gallery is 12)[“Eric. 1329–1332." In four years, nobody bothered to paint you. Not a great start for the rest of the Erics.](if: $gallery is 13)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/12.jpg"></h1>“Christopher II. 1329–1332." You probably spent more time styling that beard than you did actually leading.](if: $gallery is 14)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/13.jpg"></h1>“Valdemar III. 1326–1329." Nice horse, <i>stupid</i>. (You don't have much to go on with this one.)](if: $gallery is 15)[Eric again. Then Christopher II again. Looks like some drama went down.](if: $gallery is 16)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/14.jpg"></h1>“Eric VI Menved. 1286–1319." Maybe hire a portrait artist who was out of Kindergarten.](if: $gallery is 17)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/15.jpg"></h1>“Eric V Klipping. 1259–1286." Maybe they would have kept last names around if you had picked a better one than Klipping.](if: $gallery is 18)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/16.jpg"></h1>“Christopher I. 25 December 1252 – 1259." Just because you were a Christmas baby doesn't mean you have to dress like an elf.](if: $gallery is 19)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/17.jpg"></h1>“Abel. 1 November 1250 – 1252." Abel looks like he was beaten with a Cane.](if: $gallery is 20)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/18.jpg"></h1>“Eric IV Ploughpenny. 1232–1250." Not for a quarter, let alone a penny.](if: $gallery is 21)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/19.jpg"></h1>“Valdemar the Young. 1215–1231." Hmmmm. That's just a teen. You decide to move on. You don't punch down.](if: $gallery is 22)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/20.jpg"></h1>“Valdemar II the Victorious. 1202–1241." If having tiny, tiny hands is considered a “win," then, yeah! “Victorious!"](if: $gallery is 23)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/21.jpg"></h1>“Canute VI. 1182–1202." Your crown's got earflaps.](if: $gallery is 24)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/22.jpg"></h1>“Valdemar I the Great. 1154–1182." Maybe. But your arms just seem “adequate."](if: $gallery is 25)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/23.jpg"></h1>“Canute V. 1146–1157." It's rare to find a king who is made up of lines and dots, but based on his portrait, Canute V was one of the few.](if: $gallery is 26)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/24.jpg"></h1>“Sweyn III Grathe. 1146–1157." Somebody call Bicycle and tell them I've found their next model for the King card!](if: $gallery is 27)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/25.jpg"></h1>“Eric III Lamb. 1137–1146." Convenient crown handles. You look like a lidded pot.](if: $gallery is 28)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/26.jpg"></h1>“Eric II the Memorable. 1134–1137." Back when there were only 100 Danes, the threshold for “memorable" was clearly low.](if: $gallery is 29)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/27.jpg"></h1>“Niels. 1104–1134." You both have the same mustache so you move on.](if: $gallery is 30)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/28.jpg"></h1>“Eric I Evergood. 1095–1103." More like, “Everdumbcrown."](if: $gallery is 31)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/29.jpg"></h1>“Olaf I Hunger. 1086–1095." Olaf? I Hunger Too.](if: $gallery is 32)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/30.jpg"></h1>“Canute IV the Holy. 1080–1086." Ugh. No roast joke. This guy's face just looks punchable.](if: $gallery is 33)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/31.jpg"></h1>“Harald III the Soft. 1076–1080." Too easy.](if: $gallery is 34)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/32.jpg"></h1>“Sweyn II Estridsson. 1047–1076." Hey. Caesar called. He wants his look back. (Nailed it.)](if: $gallery is 35)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/33.jpg"></h1>“Magnus the Good. 1042–1047." Cool hair. Tell Fonzie and Ralph-Malph I said hi.](if: $gallery is 36)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/34.jpg"></h1>“Harthacnut. 1035–1042." No “the First" after that name?! You mean no one else wanted to be called Harthacnut?! Wow.](if: $gallery is 37)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/35.jpg"></h1>“Cnut the Great. 1019–1035." Oh <i>man</i>. Oh <i>wow</i>. You giggle for some time. What's left to be said?](if: $gallery is 38)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/36.jpg"></h1>“Harald II Svendsen. 1014–1018(?)." You don't have to wear <i>every</i> piece of armour every day, Harald.](if: $gallery is 39)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/37.jpg"></h1>“Sweyn I Forkbeard. 985–1014." If you are named Forkbeard there is one thing I for sure want to see in your portrait: a beard. <i>Disappointing</i>.](if: $gallery is 40)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/38.jpg"></h1>“Harald I Bluetooth. 958/64–985/6." You stare at the portrait for a while, but you're just not relating. It's strange. You generally have good Bluetooth connectability.](if: $gallery is 41)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/39.jpg"></h1>“Gorm the Old. 936 – 958/64." You've seen “the Great," “the Victorious," etc. What historian did you piss off, Gorm?](if: $gallery is 42)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/1.jpg"></h1>It's Frederick II again. You look around. Wait. You just walked around the entire perimeter of this room. You've roasted every monarch from 1588 to the beginning of Denmark. Why? Why did you do this?](if: $gallery is 43)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/2.jpg"></h1>“Christian III." Right. Maybe you're not understanding. There are no new portraits. You saw this one.](if: $gallery is 44)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/3.jpg"></h1>“Frederick I." You said he looked angry the entire sitting. Remember?](if: $gallery is 45)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/kings/4.jpg"></h1>“Christian II." It was insane to do this <i>once</i> and now you're going for a second lap?](if: $gallery is 46)[Not even going to say this one's name.](if: $gallery is 47)[Or this one.](if: $gallery is 48)[Okay. Here's the deal. Click it one more time and you'll get a reward.](if: $gallery is 49)[This is the best I can do for you: (set: $supernerd to $supernerd + 1)(color: red)[<b>You just unlocked (if: $supernerd is 1)[a](else:)[another] Shakespeare Supernerd Joke! </i>]<b>Current Total</b>: (print: $supernerd) <i>Collect them all!</i>](if: $gallery is 50)[But know that it wasn't earned. No Shakespeare jokes were presented. All obscure Danish monarch jokes.](if: $gallery is 51)[It's seriously insane that you're still here. I genuinely respect your curiosity and/or your broken device that keeps clicking this link for some reason.](if: $gallery is 52)[Oh look. It's “Valdemar IV Atterdag" again. You, William Shakespeare, grow bored. You sit down and immediately fall asleep. When you awake, you are at the [[front of the hall->Ham 5.2]], far, far away from all the portraits.](if: $gallery > 52)[No. We are not doing this again.](if: $gallery is 52)[](else:)[ You can either (link: "look at the next portrait")[(set: $gallery to it + 1)(goto: "gallerywalk")] or you can [[return to front of the hall->Ham 5.2]].]]

(set: $theatre to "visited")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $play is 1)[<b><i>Player King</b></i>: (live: 2s)[<blockquote>'Faith, I must leave thee, love, and shortly too;<br>My operant powers their functions leave to do:<br>And thou shalt live in this fair world behind,<br>Honour'd, beloved; and haply one as kind<br>For husband shalt thou--</blockquote>](live: 4s)[<b><i>Player Queen</b></i>:] (live: 5s)[<blockquote>O, confound the rest!<br>Such love must needs be treason in my breast:<br>In second husband let me be accurst!<br>None wed the second but who kill'd the first.</blockquote> Yep. This is how it goes. You wrote this. Do you [[get out of your chair->Ham 3.2]] or(if: $metriff is "ham")[ [[return to the concessions stand->concessions]]](else:)[ [[go check out the concessions->concessions]]]? Or do you (link: "watch a bit more")[(set: $play to it + 1)(goto: "play")]?]](else-if: $play is 2)[<b><i>Player King</b></i>: (live: 2s)[<blockquote>In this same interlude it doth befall<br>That I, one Snout by name, present a wall;<br>And such a wall, as I would have you think,<br>That had in it a crannied hole or chink,<br>Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby,<br>Did whisper often very secretly.</blockquote>](live: 4s)[<b><i>Player Queen</b></i>:] (live: 5s)[<blockquote>This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show<br>That I am that same wall; the truth is so:<br>And this the cranny is, right and sinister,<br>Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.</blockquote> Hmmm. No. That's the play-within-a-play from <i>Midsummer Night's Dream</i>. Everything else being broken must have had an effect on the fake play as well. Do you [[get out of your chair->Ham 3.2]] or(if: $metriff is "ham")[ [[return to the concessions stand->concessions]]](else:)[ [[go check out the concessions->concessions]]]? Or do you (link: "watch a bit more")[(set: $play to it + 1)(goto: "play")]?]](else-if: $play is 3)[<b><i>Player King</b></i>: (live: 2s)[<blockquote>Come on. So where are you taking me?</blockquote>](live: 4s)[<b><i>Player Queen</b></i>:] (live: 5s)[<blockquote>They say an open road helps you think about where you've been, where you're going. So, you don't remember any of this yet?</blockquote>](live: 7s)[<b><i>Player King</b></i>:] (live: 8s)[<blockquote>That's not fair. You know I don't. So what is it exactly that you're trying to show me?</blockquote>](live: 10s)[<b><i>Player Queen</b></i>:] (live: 11s)[<blockquote>This. Race Wars. We invented it. Keep it under 9,000 RPMs. Kid's gonna fry his pistons after the first 200.</blockquote> Okay. And that's from the seventh <i>Fast and Furious</i> movie. You have no idea why that's happening but you've seen enough. Do you [[get out of your chair->Ham 3.2]] or(if: $metriff is "ham")[ [[return to the concessions stand->concessions]]](else:)[ [[go check out the concessions->concessions]]]?]](else-if: $play > 3)[You sit down long enough to recognize that they doing dialogue from (either: "<i>A Few Good Men</i>", "the lemon tree episode of <i>The Simpsons</i>", "a <i>Star Wars</i> prequel", "<i>A Doll's House</i>", "the song “Come Sail Away” by Styx", "a so-so episode of <i>Downton Abbey</i>", "one of the <i>Iron Man</i> movies (they all run together for you)") and stand up immediately. Do you [[return to the fringes of the theatre->Ham 3.2]] or [[go check out the concessions->concessions]]?](else:)[<b><i>Player King</b></i>: (live: 2s)[<blockquote>Full thirty times hath Phoebus' cart gone round<br>Neptune's salt wash and Tellus' orbed ground,<br>And thirty dozen moons with borrow'd sheen<br>About the world have times twelve thirties been,<br>Since love our hearts and Hymen did our hands<br>Unite commutual in most sacred bands.</blockquote>](live: 4s)[<b><i>Player Queen</b></i>:] (live: 5s)[<blockquote>So many journeys may the sun and moon<br>Make us again count o'er ere love be done!<br>But, woe is me, you are so sick of late,<br>So far from cheer and from your former state,<br>That I distrust you. Yet, though I distrust,<br>Discomfort you, my lord, it nothing must:<br>For women's fear and love holds quantity;<br>In neither aught, or in extremity.<br>Now, what my love is, proof hath made you know;<br>And as my love is sized, my fear is so:<br>Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear;<br>Where little fears grow great, great love grows there.</blockquote> Oh, you've seen this one before. Do you [[get out of your chair->Ham 3.2]] or(if: $metriff is "ham")[ [[return to the concessions stand->concessions]]](else:)[ [[go check out the concessions->concessions]]]? Or do you (link: "watch a bit more")[(set: $play to it + 1)(goto: "play")]?]]]

(set: $theatre to "visited")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You'd like to but there are too many people between you and them, and you respect the craft too much to cause that much of a disturbance during a play. Do you [[return to the entrance of the room->Ham 3.2]],(if: $metriff is "ham")[ [[return to the concessions stand->concessions]]](else:)[ [[go check out the concessions->concessions]]], or do you(if: $play is 0)[ [[grab a chair and watch the play->play]]?](else-if: $play is >0)[ (link: "watch a bit more of the play")[(set: $play to it + 1)(goto: "play")]?]]

<br>It's a bunch of coins (or korsmønters as they're called), all stamped with the year and Scrooge's face on them. They look immaculate.<br>

(set: $notes to $notes + (a: "some killer topical material"))<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_gus.jpg"></h1>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You look over his work. You have no idea if they're good or not, but they certainly have the <i>rhythm</i> of jokes. “What do I owe you?" you ask, hoping the answer is nothing (if: $inv contains "a bunch of old Danish coins")[(if: $inv contains "heaven bucks")[because these heaven bucks aren't going to get you very far.](else:)[because you'd like to keep your new coin collection for now.]](else:)[for that is what you have.] “Nah, that was fun. No charge," he says. You thank him, and take back your notebook. Do you: - [[look at the other objects for sale->di7]]? - [[return to the entrance of the theatre->Ham 3.2]]?]

<br>“Hey!" Yorick says. He's doing fine.<br>“Nothing!" you respond, as you put him back in your pocket.<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[The pair of ghosts loom over you, translucent, blue, and dead. “Mark me!" says the tall, thin ghost on the left. “Yeah, mark us!" says the ghost on the right who is much shorter because he is the ghost of a talking warthog. “W-Who are you, ghosts? Where is Hamlet's father?" “I don't know anything about that," says the human ghost, “[[but I'm->ghostreveal]]..."]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $friar is "ham")[You turn away from the ghosts and walk](else:)[You begin to run after the sentinels. You make it] about three steps before your foot falls on something round and metallic. You roll forward slightly before your weight crushes what was once a hollow tube and you come down hard. You open your eyes (which are now very close to the rocky floor of the castle rampart) and you see the object that stifled your get-away: a now-broken tin whistle of some kind. You grab it, get up on your feet and turn around. (if: $friar is "ham")[Do you (if:(history:)'s last is "inventory")[(link: "return to the ghosts")[(set: $gun to "ham")(goto: (history:)'s 2nd last)]](else:)[(link: "return to the ghosts")[(set: $gun to "ham")(goto: (history:)'s last)]] or do you(if: $hamvoid is "yes")[](else:)[ [[go left->voidham]],] [[go right->Ham 3.2]], or(if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?]](else:)[Oh right. The [[ghosts]].]](if: $inv contains "a broken whistle")[](else-if: $inv contains "a functional whistle")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a broken whistle"))(set: $brokenwhistle to "grabbed")]

<br>It's brass, long, thin, and completely crushed. You blow in it and it just makes a weird sputtering noise.<br>

(set: $randgmeet to "yes")<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_randg.jpg"></h1>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“...Rosencrantz!" “And I'm Guildenstern!" says the warthog ghost. “Ohhhhh!" you say. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead. You get it now. <i>Hamlet</i> starts with a ghost. Now it's the wrong ones. Although that doesn't explain why Guildenstern is a warthog now. Do you: - (link: "ask Guildenstern why he's a warthog now")[(set: $d8 to "1")(goto: "di8")]? - (link: "ask how they died")[(set: $d8 to "2")(goto: "di8")]? - (link: "ask about their unfinished business")[(set: $d8 to "3")(goto: "di8")]?(if: $brokenwhistle is "grabbed")[<br><br>Or do you(if: $hamvoid is "yes")[](else:)[ [[go left->voidham]],] [[go right->Ham 3.2]], or(if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?]](else:)[<br>- (link: "turn to leave")[(set: $friar to "ham")(goto: "follow the guards")]?]]

<br>It's a bit of goose and an even smaller amount of saffron, picked off your slice pizza and stored loose, inside your pocket.<br>

<br>It reads: <br>“Hey Gus, <br>Give this guy the whistle repair kit. I don't understand why either. <br>- Hamlet"<br>

<br>(if: $inv contains "a broken whistle")[Do you want to use the whistle repair kit on your broken whistle? [[Yes! Of course!->repair]] (link-reveal: "No, I like having two useless objects.")[(show: ?uhih)] |uhih)[<br><br>Okay. Cool, weirdo. That's what you've got.]](else:)[It's filled with tiny intricate tools, and replacement parts. It fills you with the regret that you expended your effort to retrieve such a pointless item.]<br>

(if: $inv contains "a functional whistle")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a functional whistle"))](set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a broken whistle"))(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a whistle repair kit"))(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[It takes a lot longer than the directions say it will, but after a lot of tinkering, you are the proud owner of a functioning whistle. Dreams do come true. [[Return->inventory]]].

<br>(if: $yourChapter is "Ch. IV")[It's shiny(if: $whistle is "blown")[, metallic, and silent when blown. You can still hear that low rumble far off in the distance, though...](else:)[ and metallic. Do you (link-reveal: "use it")[(show: ?uhih)]? |uhih)[<br><br>After all this time and work, the moment is finally at hand. You bring the whistle to your lips and blow hard.<br><br>And it makes no sound. But then... There's a low rumble. It sounds like a stampede or something far, far in the distance. How odd. (set: $whistle to "blown")]]](else:)[It's shiny and metallic. Do you (link-reveal: "use it")[(show: ?uhih)]? |uhih)[<br><br>You don't think it'll work here, but also why risk getting trampled? You decide against it and put it back in your pocket.]]<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(set: $whistle to "done")The low rumble becomes an earth-shaking tremor. Fearing an unscripted earthquake, you brace yourself beneath Gertrude's bed, and you see Hamlet jump on top of his desk for safety. An instant later you hear the bedroom door fly open as a massive herd of wildebeest stampede into the room. As if they were targeting the man behind it, they make a beeline for the tapestry, knocking it from the wall. They (link-reveal: "trample poor Polonius.")[(show: ?dddeded)] |dddeded)[<br><br>When the last of the non-native animals make their way out of the bedroom, you and Hamlet both rush over, share a glance, and grit your teeth. The guy was going to die one way or the other, but you weren't expecting the Mufasa treatment.(set: $polonius to "dead") Yeesh. You decide to (link: "ask Hamlet what happens now")[(set: $d5 to "12")(goto: "di5")].]]

<h1 class="animate__animated animate__zoomInDown animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://ramseyess.com/shake/images/fixed.png"></h1> (font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<center><h2 style="font-size: 140%;">YOUR MANY ACHIEVEMENTS:</h2> You discovered (print: $supernerd) Shakespeare Supernerd joke(if: $supernerd is 1)[](else-if: $supernerd is 0)[s](else:)[s]! (if: $codeword is > 0)[You attempted to get into your meeting by inventing (if: $codeword is 1)[one codeword](else:)[(print: $codeword) codewords]!<br><br>]You (if: $wit is 5)[<b>won</b>](else-if: $wit is 4)[<b>tied</b>](else:)[<b>lost</b>] the Wit-Off with a score of (print: $wit)! (if: $play is < 1)[](else:)[You watched (print: $play) screens worth of the awful play-within-a-play! ]You roasted the portraits of (if: $gallery is 1)[only ](else-if: $gallery < 1)[zero](else-if: $gallery < 1)[](else:)[(print: $gallery)] Danish monarchs.(if: $gallery > 50)[ Why on Earth did you do that?](else-if: $gallery > 20)[ And you can never have that time back!] And of course, you laid down in (if: $bed < 1)[zero](else:)[(print: $bed)] beds. <h2 style="font-size: 160%;">The End.</h2></center> Back to the [[Title Screen->Title]]?]<audio src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/theme.mp3" autoplay>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[The room looks exactly the same as the last time you saw it. However, that low rumble you heard when you blew the repaired whistle? <div class="animate__animated animate__shakeY animate__infinite animate__delay-1s">[[It's getting louder...->stampede]]<//div>]

<br>It's a Penguin Classics edition, so you know it's a quality product, even if you're not a fan of modern writers like Charles Dickens. Do you [[flip through it]]?<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You run your thumb along the edge and flip through the pages, open randomly, and begin reading.] (font:"Scheherazade")[<i>“If each smooth tile had been a blank at first, with power to shape some picture on its surface from the disjointed fragments of his thoughts, there would have been a copy of old Marley’s head on every one. ‘Humbug!’ said Scrooge.”</i>] (font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“Hang on!" you say out loud. “The new king of Denmark is from this Dickens guy's future book?! Hell is empty. And all the devils are here!" [[Return->inventory]].](set: $dickens to "scrooge")

(set: $hamthreetwo to "yes")(if:(history:)'s last is "hammap")[(set: $usedmap to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $theatre is "visited")[You are back in the performance hall. The play is still going and the lights are still dim.(if: $inv contains "Hamlet's whistle repair kit voucher")[<br><br>This voucher is burning a hole in your pocket. Do you want to [[report directly to Gus->concessions]]?]<br><br>](else:)[(if:(history:)'s last is "Ham 5.1")[As if by magic, you find yourself in Elsinore Castle, in Denmark.] Welcome to Elsinore's majestic performance hall! You step in quietly because there's a play of some kind currently in progress. The lights are dim, to highlight the performance, but in the back of the room you can just barely see two ornate chairs, upon which sit(if: $scrooge is "heardof")[ Hamlet's mother Gertrude alongside Hamlet's new stepking, Ebenezer Scrooge.](else:)[, presumably, Hamlet's mom and her new beau, Hamlet's uncle.] There's a throng of people between you and them, however, so it's a little hard to tell. On the left side of the room there is a concession stand. ](if: $inv contains "Hamlet's whistle repair kit voucher")[Or do you [[go to Hamlet's mother and uncle->uncleconfront]] or(if: $play > 0)[ (link: "watch a bit more of the play")[(set: $play to it + 1)(goto: "play")]](else:)[ [[grab a seat and watch the play->play]]]?](else:)[Do you [[go to Hamlet's mother and uncle->uncleconfront]],(if: $metriff is "ham")[ [[return to the concession stand->concessions]]](else:)[ [[approach the stand->concessions]]] or do you(if: $play > 0)[ (link: "watch a bit more of the play")[(set: $play to it + 1)(goto: "play")]](else:)[ [[grab a seat and watch the play->play]]]?] Or do you [[go left->Ham 1]], [[go right->Ham 3.4]], or(if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $inv contains "Julia Child's goose recipe")[](else-if: $inv contains "a recipe")[](else:)[(if: $inv contains "some picked off pizza toppings")[](else:)[(set: $d2 to "5")“Well, Scrooge. What do you say? One of the finest goose recipes ever written, literally from heaven, and a starter bit of lightly-used goose and you go back in to your proper story?" Scrooge scratches his chin. “Wak! Fine, fine." He takes the recipe and the former pizza toppings, jumps into the air and [[into the copy of Dickens.->HamEnd]]]](if: $d2 is "5")[](else:)[(if: $scroogegive is "quill")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_scrooge.jpg"></h1> “Ha! I can get unlimited feather quills from any one of my nephews!" Scrooge says. You stare at him blankly. “You're not the only one with a work of fiction that's been altered by public misconceptions, alright?!"<br><br>](if: $scroogegive is "ink")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_scrooge.jpg"></h1> “That's really more under the purview of my employee, Bob Cratchett," Scrooge responds. “You make your employee buy his own ink?" you ask. “I will not entertain criticism from one who has never worked in an office environment, alright?"<br><br>](if: $scroogegive is "recipe")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_scrooge.jpg"></h1> “Guh, ah... Goose you say?" Scrooge says, his interest piqued. “From <i>Julia Child</i>!" you add. “I don't know who that is, but I'm a big fan of letting children do my goose purchasing." He snatches the recipe from your hand. (set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a recipe"))(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "Julia Child's goose recipe"))(if: $inv contains "some picked off pizza toppings")[“This is good. But you'll need to sweeten the pot a bit."](else:)[You decide to [[finalize the negotiations->givescrooge]].(set: $dickens to "done")]<br><br>](if: $scroogegive is "hanger")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_scrooge.jpg"></h1> “I have two shirts: the one I am wearing that day and the one that Bob Cratchett is laundering for me. I have no need for your hanger." You have to hand it to him: the guy knows how to pinch a penny.<br><br>](if: $scroogegive is "poncho")[You look around the blood-coated room. You missed all the bloodshed at the end of your play. The need for this poncho has passed.<br><br>](if: $scroogegive is "heavenbucks")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_scrooge.jpg"></h1> “I <i>do</i> love money," Scrooge says, examining your money. “But I'm partial to money that I can <i>use</i>." He flips the coin back to you.<br><br>](if: $scroogegive is "toppings")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_scrooge.jpg"></h1> (if: $inv contains "Julia Child's goose recipe")[“Do you like goose?" you ask. “<i>Love</i> the stuff," Scrooge replies. “Do you want these bits of goose?" “Yes. I do." Scrooge says. He holds his hands out and you put the picked off pizza toppings in them.](else-if: $inv contains "a recipe")[“Do you like goose?" you ask. “<i>Love</i> the stuff," Scrooge replies. “Do you want these bits of goose?" “Yes. I do." Scrooge says. He holds his hands out and you put the picked off pizza toppings in them.](else:)[“You have a delicious recipe to prepare goose, but have you any goose to prepare?" you ask. “I... do not," says Scrooge. On this, you produce the pieces of goose you had plucked from the pizza and present them to the old miser. “Oh! This'll do wonderfully!"] (set: $inv to $inv - (a: "some picked off pizza toppings"))(if: $inv contains "Julia Child's goose recipe")[“This is good. But you'll need to sweeten the pot a bit."](else-if: $inv contains "a recipe")[“This is good. But you'll need to sweeten the pot a bit."](else:)[You decide to [[finalize the negotiations->givescrooge]].(set: $dickens to "done")]<br><br>](if: $scroogegive is "whistlework")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_scrooge.jpg"></h1> Even though you tell him he probably shouldn't, he blows the whistle. You don't feel any kind of rumble or anything this time. “Why this reminds me of old Fezziwig." You look hopeful that he's going to take the murder whistle. “I <i>hate</i> old Fezziwig." No dice.<br><br>](if: $dickens is "done")[](else:)[What do you want to give Scrooge? (if: $inv's length > 0)[You have (print: $inv.join(", ")).](else:)[Currently, your pockets are empty. That is kind of improbable and, quite honestly, something probably went wrong. Wanna (click-goto: "start over", 'Title')?](click: "a quill")[(set: $scroogegive to "quill")(goto: "givescrooge")](click: "some ink")[(set: $scroogegive to "ink")(goto: "givescrooge")](click: "a recipe")[(set: $scroogegive to "recipe")(goto: "givescrooge")](click: "Julia Child's goose recipe")[(set: $scroogegive to "recipe")(goto: "givescrooge")](click: "a wire hanger")[(set: $scroogegive to "hanger")(goto: "givescrooge")](click: "a poncho")[(set: $scroogegive to "poncho")(goto: "givescrooge")](click: "heaven bucks")[(set: $scroogegive to "heavenbucks")(goto: "givescrooge")](click: "some picked off pizza toppings")[(set: $scroogegive to "toppings")(goto: "givescrooge")](click: "a functional whistle")[(set: $scroogegive to "whistlework")(goto: "givescrooge")]]]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[As you survey your play's final scene you take in the fact that everyone who is supposed to be dead is dead and everyone who is supposed to be insane is insane. It wasn't easy, but you've set <i>Hamlet</i> right. Just as before, everything begins to turn white as the ground disappears beneath your feet. “Don't let the door hitcha, Weird Stache!" Yorick says from the floor. [[Close enough->V. Heaven]].](set: $hamlet to "complete")

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Sad. Do you [[end your moment of reflection->Ham 3.4]], [[go left->Ham 3.2]], [[go right->Ham 4]], or(if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hammap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hammap]]?]]

(if: $plot is 0)[(goto: "inciting incident")](else-if: $character is 0)[(goto: "character")](else-if: $genre is 0)[(goto: "genre")](else:)[(goto: "final plot")]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<font style="font-size: 90%;">(if: $plot is 0)[](else:)[<font style="font-size: 90%;"><span style="background-color: #000000"><b><font color="yellow">The Inciting Incident:</font></b></span><span style="background-color: #FFFF00"> (print: $plot)</span><br>](if: $character is 0)[](else:)[<span style="background-color: #FFFF00"><b>The Main Character:</b></font></span><span style="background-color: #000000"><font color="yellow">(print: $character)</font></span><br>](if: $genre is 0)[](else:)[<span style="background-color: #000000"><b><font color="yellow"><b>The Genre:</b></font></b></span><span style="background-color: #FFFF00"> (print: $genre)</font><br>]</font><style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_genesius.jpg">(if: $plot is 0)[(if: $character is 0)[(if: $genre is 0)[](else:)[<br>]](else:)[<br>]](else:)[<br>](if: $genre is "Fast and Furious movie")[“I love it!" Genesius says. We're going to make billion dollars. I think we should call it (if: $character is "A young, single duchess")[<i>FastRoyal</i>!](if: $character is "A king, one day away from retirement")[<i>2Close2Finish</i>](if: $character is "A teenager about to discover their superpowers")[<i>The Fate of the Franchise</i>](if: $character is "A detective, hot on the trail of a murderer")[<i>The Claims and Spurious</i>](if: $character is "A shopkeeper who has lost all hope")[<i>Shop2Drop</i>](if: $character is "A fairy who wants to make mischief")[<i>FastFairy5</i>](if: $character is "A witch.")[<i>Broom Racerz</i>](if: $character is "An employee who hates his boss")[<i>Tokyo Late Shift</i>](if: $character is "A stand-up comedian in New York City")[<i>2Fast2Funny</i>](if: $character is "A mailman... with a secret")[<i>2Stamps2Overnight</i>](if: $character is "A politician... with a secret")[<i>Hobbs & Laws</i>](if: $character is "A fisherman... with a sea trout")[<i>Hobbs & Trout</i>]!"(set: $ask1 to "good")](else-if: $genre is "Zombie")[Genesius snaps his fingers. “I like it! I think I want to roll it around a little more, kick the tires, make sure we're doing something fresh with the whole zombie (if: $character is "A young, single duchess")[lady in waiting](if: $character is "A king, one day away from retirement")[jester](if: $character is "A teenager about to discover their superpowers")[teen superhero](if: $character is "A detective, hot on the trail of a murderer")[police chief](if: $character is "A shopkeeper who has lost all hope")[shopkeeper](if: $character is "A fairy who wants to make mischief")[fairy queene](if: $character is "A witch.")[witch](if: $character is "An employee who hates his boss")[boss](if: $character is "A stand-up comedian in New York City")[stand-up booker](if: $character is "A mailman... with a secret")[postmaster general](if: $character is "A politician... with a secret")[lobbyist](if: $character is "A fisherman... with a sea trout")[bait salesman] angle. But, yeah! I'll send you a calendar invite to a brainstorm sesh."(set: $ask1 to "good")](else-if: $genre is "Musical")[Genesius snaps his fingers. “I like it! I think I want to roll it around a little more, kick the tires, make sure we're doing something fresh with the (if: $character is "A young, single duchess")[lady in waiting](if: $character is "A king, one day away from retirement")[jester](if: $character is "A teenager about to discover their superpowers")[teen superhero](if: $character is "A detective, hot on the trail of a murderer")[police chief](if: $character is "A shopkeeper who has lost all hope")[shopkeeper](if: $character is "A fairy who wants to make mischief")[fairy queene](if: $character is "A witch")[witch](if: $character is "An employee who hates his boss")[boss](if: $character is "A stand-up comedian in New York City")[stand-up booker](if: $character is "A mailman... with a secret")[postmaster general](if: $character is "A politician... with a secret")[lobbyist](if: $character is "A fisherman... with a sea trout")[bait salesman]'s big musical number. But, yeah! I'll send you a calendar invite to a brainstorm sesh."(set: $ask1 to "good")](else-if: $genre is "Romantic comedy")[“I think this is funny! I really do!" Genesius says. “<i>But</i>, is it going to be funny to the <i>right</i> audience is all I'm wondering..."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $character is "A teenager about to discover their superpowers")[I like the idea, but I'm not sure if we have's a <i>Genesius/Shakespeare</i> <b>take</b> on it yet, ya know?(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $character is "A detective, hot on the trail of a murderer")[I like the idea, but I'm not sure if we have's a <i>Genesius/Shakespeare</i> <b>take</b> on it yet, ya know?(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $character is "A stand-up comedian in New York City")[I like the idea, but I'm not sure if we have's a <i>Genesius/Shakespeare</i> <b>take</b> on it yet, ya know?(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $plot is "It's the night before the big gang rumble")[I like the idea, but I'm not sure if we have's a <i>Genesius/Shakespeare</i> <b>take</b> on it yet, ya know?(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $plot is "A battle begins... in outer space!")[I like the idea, but I'm not sure if we have's a <i>Genesius/Shakespeare</i> <b>take</b> on it yet, ya know?(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $plot is "A local TV station is about to shut down")[I like the idea, but I'm not sure if we have's a <i>Genesius/Shakespeare</i> <b>take</b> on it yet, ya know?(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $plot is "The hero has to do a crime")[I like the idea, but I'm not sure if we have's a <i>Genesius/Shakespeare</i> <b>take</b> on it yet, ya know?(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $plot is "It's the day of a wedding which will unite two warring factions")[“So there's a lot of good stuff here," Genesius says, “but let's put a pin in the (if: $character is "A young, single duchess")[lady in waiting](if: $character is "A king, one day away from retirement")[jester](if: $character is "A teenager about to discover their superpowers")[teen superhero](if: $character is "A detective, hot on the trail of a murderer")[police chief](if: $character is "A shopkeeper who has lost all hope")[shopkeeper](if: $character is "A fairy who wants to make mischief")[fairy queene](if: $character is "A witch.")[witch](if: $character is "An employee who hates his boss")[boss](if: $character is "A stand-up comedian in New York City")[stand-up booker](if: $character is "A mailman... with a secret")[postmaster general](if: $character is "A politician... with a secret")[lobbyist](if: $character is "A fisherman... with a sea trout")[bait salesman] element and circle back later, yeah?"(set: $ask1 to "good")](else-if: $plot is "A massive party is being thrown in a small town")[“So there's a lot of good stuff here," Genesius says, “but let's put a pin in the (if: $character is "A young, single duchess")[lady in waiting](if: $character is "A king, one day away from retirement")[jester](if: $character is "A teenager about to discover their superpowers")[teen superhero](if: $character is "A detective, hot on the trail of a murderer")[police chief](if: $character is "A shopkeeper who has lost all hope")[shopkeeper](if: $character is "A fairy who wants to make mischief")[fairy queene](if: $character is "A witch.")[witch](if: $character is "An employee who hates his boss")[boss](if: $character is "A stand-up comedian in New York City")[stand-up booker](if: $character is "A mailman... with a secret")[postmaster general](if: $character is "A politician... with a secret")[lobbyist](if: $character is "A fisherman... with a sea trout")[bait salesman] element and circle back later, yeah?"(set: $ask1 to "good")](else-if: $genre is "Western")[“So there's a lot of good stuff here," Genesius says, “but let's put a pin in the (if: $character is "A young, single duchess")[lady in waiting](if: $character is "A king, one day away from retirement")[jester](if: $character is "A teenager about to discover their superpowers")[teen superhero](if: $character is "A detective, hot on the trail of a murderer")[police chief](if: $character is "A shopkeeper who has lost all hope")[shopkeeper](if: $character is "A fairy who wants to make mischief")[fairy queene](if: $character is "A witch.")[witch](if: $character is "An employee who hates his boss")[boss](if: $character is "A stand-up comedian in New York City")[stand-up booker](if: $character is "A mailman... with a secret")[postmaster general](if: $character is "A politician... with a secret")[lobbyist](if: $character is "A fisherman... with a sea trout")[bait salesman] element and circle back later, yeah?"(set: $ask1 to "good")](else-if: $plot is "An artist struggles to balance work and romance")[“I really like the (if: $character is "A young, single duchess")[lady in waiting](if: $character is "A king, one day away from retirement")[jester](if: $character is "A teenager about to discover their superpowers")[teen superhero](if: $character is "A detective, hot on the trail of a murderer")[police chief](if: $character is "A shopkeeper who has lost all hope")[shopkeeper](if: $character is "A fairy who wants to make mischief")[fairy queene](if: $character is "A witch.")[witch](if: $character is "An employee who hates his boss")[boss](if: $character is "A stand-up comedian in New York City")[stand-up booker](if: $character is "A mailman... with a secret")[postmaster general](if: $character is "A politician... with a secret")[lobbyist](if: $character is "A fisherman... with a sea trout")[bait salesman] character," Genesius says, “but the plot concept feels a little clam-y. I'm sorry, that's a writer's room term: I'm trying to say that it's schumck-bait. Are you familiar? I'm not sure how else to say it."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $plot is "Just rip off Transformers")[“I really like the (if: $character is "A young, single duchess")[lady in waiting](if: $character is "A king, one day away from retirement")[jester](if: $character is "A teenager about to discover their superpowers")[teen superhero](if: $character is "A detective, hot on the trail of a murderer")[police chief](if: $character is "A shopkeeper who has lost all hope")[shopkeeper](if: $character is "A fairy who wants to make mischief")[fairy queene](if: $character is "A witch.")[witch](if: $character is "An employee who hates his boss")[boss](if: $character is "A stand-up comedian in New York City")[stand-up booker](if: $character is "A mailman... with a secret")[postmaster general](if: $character is "A politician... with a secret")[lobbyist](if: $character is "A fisherman... with a sea trout")[bait salesman] character," Genesius says, “but the plot concept feels a little clam-y. I'm sorry, that's a writer's room term: I'm trying to say that it's schumck-bait. Are you familiar? I'm not sure how else to say it."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $character is "A king, one day away from retirement")[“I really like the jester character," Genesius says, “but the plot concept feels a little clam-y. I'm sorry, that's a writer's room term: I'm trying to say that it's schumck-bait. Are you familiar? I'm not sure how else to say it."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $character is "A shopkeeper who has lost all hope")[“Y'know, they say there's only three kinds of stories, Will..." Genesius begins, tentatively. “Well, I think they'd better change that to four after this! This is <b>gold</b>!"(set: $ask1 to "good")](else-if: $character is "An employee who hates his boss")[“Y'know, they say there's only three kinds of stories, Will..." Genesius begins, tentatively. “Well, I think they'd better change that to four after this! This is <b>gold</b>!"(set: $ask1 to "good")](else-if: $character is "A mailman... with a secret")[Genesius taps his pen, then looks you in the eyes. “My concern is that Act 1 and 2 are so strong, but in the third act where the mailman's wife finally figures things out... Act 3 is just going to fall apart is my concern."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $character is "A politician... with a secret")[Genesius taps his pen, then looks you in the eyes. “My concern is that Act 1 and 2 are so strong, but in the third act where the politician's constituents finally figures everything out... Act 3 is just going to fall apart is my concern."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $character is "A fisherman... with a sea trout")[Genesius taps his pen, then looks you in the eyes. “My concern is that Act 1 and 2 are so strong, but in the third act where it's revealed that fisherman's sea trout has been pulling the strings ... Act 3 is just going to fall apart is my concern."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $genre is "Biopic")[Genesius closes his eyes and rubs his temples. “So, if we look at Campbell's hero's journey, we're good <i>until</i> the meeting with the goddess portion. I hate to say it, but I think we need to circle back and rebreak this whole thing."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $genre is "Buddy cop")[Genesius closes his eyes and rubs his temples. “So, if we look at Campbell's hero's journey, we're good <i>until</i> the meeting with the goddess portion. I hate to say it, but I think we need to circle back and rebreak this whole thing."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else:)[“Look," Genesius says, tossing his legal pad to the floor, “we can spend a whole lifetime worrying about a legacy. I think... we've got to worry about the <i>future</i>! This is gold, Will! (print: $plot)! Love it!"(set: $ask1 to "good")](else-if: $genre is "Comedy")[“Hmmmm. As I think this through, I kind of feel like you've already covered this ground with your earlier stuff, Bill."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $genre is "Tragedy")[“Hmmmm. As I think this through, I kind of feel like you've already covered this ground with your earlier stuff, Bill."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $genre is "Historical")[“Hmmmm. As I think this through, I kind of feel like you've already covered this ground with your earlier stuff, Bill."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $character is "A young, single duchess")[“Hmmmm. As I think this through, I kind of feel like you've already covered this ground with your earlier stuff, Bill."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $character is "A king, one day away from retirement")[“Hmmmm. As I think this through, I kind of feel like you've already covered this ground with your earlier stuff, Bill."(set: $ask1 to "bad")](else-if: $character is "A shopkeeper who has lost all hope")[“Hmmmm. As I think this through, I kind of feel like you've already covered this ground with your earlier stuff, Bill."(set: $ask1 to "bad")] (if: $ask1 is "good")[Before he can start trying to schedule an outlining session you tell him you think [[it's time to get to work on repairing the next play->leave heaven]].](if: $ask1 is "bad")[Wow. You just got rejected by a guy you don't like concerning a project you don't want to work on.(if: $rejection is "yes")[ <i>Again</i>.] Stings a bit, you have to admit. Whatever. This diversion was a welcome rest, anyway. You tell Genesius [[it's time to get to work on repairing the next play->leave heaven]].]]

(set: $notes to $notes + (a: "note6"))(set: $usedmap to "never")<script>$('html').removeClass('flash').addClass('default');</script>(set: $yourChapter to "Ch. VI")<style> img { float: left; } </style>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if:(history:)'s last is "inventory")[Well. That's insulting. You're tempted to throw the book down on the ground right here, but who knows? It might be useful. You never would have guessed you were going to give a plastic cup to a warthog ghost when you picked it up, so better safe than sorry. Do you [[head left->His Act 4]] or [[jump right to the map->hismap]]?](else:)[<center>VI. — THE MERCHANT OF MENACE.</center> <img src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3b/Letter_W%2C_drop_capital_illustration.png/100px-Letter_W%2C_drop_capital_illustration.png" style="margin-right:3px;">HEN you arrive in your corrupted history play, you are expecting to be hit by a wave of heat for a third time, but much to your surprise, you are not. You are faced with clean air, temperate, autumnal weather, and the sound of light pan-flute music drifting on the breeze. It feels like a much simpler time. The good ole days. When Kings were Kings, Queens were Queens, and serfs were to be exploited. You dust yourself off, despite not being at all dusty, and prepare to get down to work. First, [[let's see what equipment Galesius set you up with->inventory]] this time.]](if: $inv contains "a thick book about screenwriting")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a thick book about screenwriting"))]

(if: $baconmission is "on")[(go-to: "BaconMission")](else:)[(set: $voidleft to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $camel is "on")[Your camel has disappeared.<br>(set: $camel to "off")](if: $hamvoid is "yes")[Just as with <i>Hamlet</i>(if: $rjvoid is "yes")[and <i>Romeo and Juliet</i>] you've now gone too far and are staring at empty white nothingness.](else-if: $rjvoid is "yes")[Just as with <i>Romeo and Juliet</i>(if: $hamvoid is "yes")[ and <i>Hamlet</i>] you've now gone too far and are staring at empty white nothingness.](else:)[There is nothing but white nothingness here. It makes sense: you never wrote anything in this direction.] (live: 3s)[Except...] (live: 5s)[[[What's that up ahead?->glitch]]]]]

(set: $hisone to "yes")(set: $hisoneold to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Suddenly, as if by magic, you find yourself in the middle of a desert. “It is very hot here," you think. “Perhaps this is where I was supposed to start." In the distance you see [[a small tent->tent]] that seems as though it would provide some shade. Or (if: $camel is "off")[it looks like that camel made it back here, so ]you could [[hop on that camel->camel]] over there and ride. Or do you [[head left->void left]], [[head right->His Act 2]], or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]

(set: $histwo to "yes")(set: $histwoold to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $camel is "on")[You and your camel friend arrive inside a dark, gloomy castle. Torches burn, illuminating a few tapestries on the wall. You hop off, and your camel immediately takes off. You're on your own once again.(set: $camel to "off")](else:)[You are suddenly inside a dark, gloomy castle. Torches burn, illuminating a few tapestries on the wall.] (if: $queenmaclear is "met")[Queen MacLear still sits before you, a guard on either side.](else:)[At the far end of the room you can see a throne, with a guard on either side.] (if: $polonius is "history")[Those tapestries are still over there and they look exactly the same. So, do you](else:)[Do you [[examine the tapestries->tapestries]] or] [[approach the throne->queenmaclear]]? Or do you [[head left->His Act 1]], [[head right->His Act 3]], or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]

(set: $histhree to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $camel is "on")[You and your camel friend find yourself in a place that couldn't look more different from where you once were. You can tell from the architecture and the clothing of those around you that you are standing in an age long before your time. Men and women stroll past in conversation, draped in robes; behind them, massive columns thrust into the sky. You are standing in Ancient Rome. You hop off, and your camel immediately takes off. You're on your own once again.(set: $camel to "off")](else:)[(if: $histhreeold is "yes")[You see the massive columns and robed citizens that tell you once again you are in Ancient Rome.](else:)[You find yourself in a place that couldn't look more different from where you once were. You can tell from the architecture and the clothing of those around you that you are standing in an age long before your time. Men and women stroll past in conversation, draped in robes; behind them, massive columns thrust into the sky. It is clear you are standing in Ancient Rome.]] Do you walk [[up the stairs of the Senate->Senate]] or go talk to that nice [[soothsayer]] standing nearby? Or do you [[head left->His Act 2]], [[head right->His Act 4]], or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]

(set: $hisfour to "yes")(set: $hisfourold to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $camel is "on")[You and your camel friend arrive before a large group of soldiers is amassed before you. You can see in the distance, at the top of a small knoll, (if: $kinghenry is "met")[King Henry the Richard, still astride his horse](else:)[a man on a horse who is clearly this army's commander]. You hop off, and your camel immediately takes off. You're on your own once again.(set: $camel to "off")](else:)[A large group of soldiers is amassed before you. You can see in the distance, at the top of a small knoll, (if: $kinghenry is "met")[King Henry the Richard, still astride his horse](else:)[a man on a horse who is clearly this army's commander].] Do you(if: $kinghenry is "met")[ (link: "go back to King Henry")[(set: $d3 to "5")(go-to: "dia3")]](else:)[ [[approach the leader->kinghenry]]], [[check out one of these makeshift tents->tents]], [[head left->His Act 3]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]

<br>Come <i>on</i>. <i>Story</i> by Robert McKee. Saint Genesius of Rome has given you homework.<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $usedmap is "never")[You take a step backwards, which allows you to see the lay of the land: ](else:)[<center><h2 style="font-size: 140%;">YOUR BROKEN HISTORICAL PLAY SCENE NOTES</h2></center>You can see it all from here:] (if: $voidleft is "yes")[- [[The <i>Void</i>->void left]]<br>](else-if: $voidleft is "glitch")[(if: $baconmission is "on")[ [[Bacon's <i>Void</i>->void left]]<br>](else:)[ [[The <i>Void</i>->void left]]<br>]](else:)[]- (if: $hisone is "yes")[(if: $cleo is "met")[[[Ancient Egypt->His Act 1]]](else:)[[[The desert->His Act 1]]]](else:)[[[????->His Act 1]]] - (if: $histwo is "yes")[(if: $queenmaclear is "met")[[[Queen MacLear 8's Castle->His Act 2]]](else:)[[[The castle's entrance->His Act 2]]]](else:)[[[????->His Act 2]]] - (if: $histhree is "yes")[[[Ancient Rome->His Act 3]]](else:)[[[????->His Act 3]]] - (if: $hisfour is "yes")[(if: $kinghenry is "met")[[[King Henry's Pastoral Battlefield->His Act 4]]](else:)[[[The Pastoral Battlefield->His Act 4]]]](else:)[[[????->His Act 4]]]]

<u>(if: $mode is "normal")[<strike>STUFF TO FIX IN THE HISTORY PLAYS</strike> OPERATION: REVERSE KNIGHT BACON SO HE LEAVES YOUR PLAYS ALONE](else:)[STUFF TO FIX IN THE HISTORY PLAYS]</u> (if: $knighthood is "planned")[(if: $mode is "normal")[(if: $opheliasroom is "kneeling")[<strike>- Step 1: Get him to kneel.</strike>](else:)[- Step 1: Get him to kneel.] (if: $inv contains "a crown")[<strike>- Step 2: Become a king.</strike>](else:)[- Step 2: Become a king.] (if: $inv contains "a “sword”")[<strike>- Step 3: Obtain or forge a sword.</strike>](else:)[- Step 3: Obtain or forge a sword.] (if: $yourChapter is "Ch. VI")[- Step 4: De-Dub him “Sir Francis Bacon."](else:)[<strike>- Step 4: De-Dub him “Sir Francis Bacon."</strike> - Step 5: Do a little victory dance.<br>]](else-if: $mode is "expert")[- You've got to reverse knight Sir Francis Bacon (if: $nextknight is "final")[<strike>- Step 1: Get him to kneel. - Step 2: Become a king. - Step 3: Obtain or forge a sword.</strike> (if: $yourChapter is "Ch. VI")[- Step 4: De-Dub him “Sir Francis Bacon."](else:)[<strike>- Step 4: De-Dub him “Sir Francis Bacon."</strike> - Step 5: Do a little victory dance.]](else-if: $nextknight is "sword")[<strike>- Step 1: Get him to kneel. - Step 2: Become a king.</strike> - Step 3: Obtain or forge a sword.](else-if: $nextknight is "crown")[<strike>- Step 1: Get him to kneel.</strike> - Step 2: Get a king.](else:)[- Step 1: Get him to kneel.]<br>]](if: $baconmission is "on")[- Nothing else matters now. You've got to defeat Sir Francis Bacon.<br>](if: $voidleft is "glitch")[(if: $baconmission is "on")[<strike>- The Void is always terrifying, but this time it is nightmare inducing</strike>](else:)[- The Void is always terrifying, but this time it is nightmare inducing]](if: $kinghenry is "met")[(if: $baconmission is "on")[<strike><br>- King Henry the Richard is... not a character you created</strike>](else:)[<br>- King Henry the Richard is... not a character you created]](else:)[](if: $queenmaclear is "met")[<br>(if: $baconmission is "on")[<strike>- Queen MacLear 8 is... Well, she exists now.</strike>](else:)[- Queen MacLear 8 is... Well, she exists now.]](else:)[](if: $hamone is "his")[<br>(if: $baconmission is "on")[<strike>- The soothsayer can only see into the past</strike>](else:)[- The soothsayer can only see into the past]](else:)[](if: $cleostatus is "single")[<br>- (if: $baconmission is "on")[<strike>Cleopatra is single and <i>loving it</i></strike>](else:)[Cleopatra is single and <i>loving it</i>]](else:)[](if: $baconmission is "on")[</strike>] ----

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(set: $kinghenry to "met")“What ho!" you say, which was a thing people said to get attention back in your day. “How does today find you, Your Majesty?" A little informal for a king, but you only notice the crown when you got halfway through your sentence. “Hallo, sir. Be you [[friend]] or [[foe]]?"]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You pop your head inside the tent, see that it's empty, and step fully inside. It's rather cozy, actually. There's a carpet on the floor, a potentially comfortable mattress, and a table, upon which is laid a variety of maps and important looking papers. Do you(if: $attention is "bed")[](else:)[ [[test out the bed->bedroll]]](if: $inv contains "a very confusing map")[](else:)[, [[examine the documents->documents]],](if: $attention is "bed")[](else:)[ or] head back outside and(if: $kinghenry is "met")[ (link: "go back to King Henry")[(set: $d3 to "5")(go-to: "dia3")]](else:)[ [[approach the leader->kinghenry]]]? Or do you[[head left->His Act 3]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]

(set: $bed to $bed + 1)(set: $attention to "bed")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You lay down on the bed. It's wouldn't be very comfortable to someone with modern tastes, but it reminds you a little of the beds from when you grew up; back when beds were uncomfortable and bad. You take a moment for yourself and reflect upon the fact that (if: $bed is 4)[you have laid down in every bed you could have laid in. Four. You then reflect a little bit more and realize you have no idea why you did that.](if: $bed is 3)[you've laid down in many beds today. You resisted the pull of only one of them. You're not sure if you're proud of this.](else-if: $bed is < 3)[you somehow managed to stop yourself from laying in most of the beds you've come across today. Somehow, this was the irresistible one.] Do you(if: $inv contains "a very confusing map")[](else:)[ [[examine the documents->documents]],] head back outside and(if: $kinghenry is "met")[ (link: "go back to King Henry")[(set: $d3 to "5")(go-to: "dia3")]](else:)[ [[approach the leader->kinghenry]]], [[head left->His Act 3]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $kinghenrymeet is "yes")[Just as how King Henry the Richard seems to be a mixture of several historical figures, the same is immediately evident about his papers.](else:)[You look over the table of papers and you're only more confused by what you see.] The map seems to be of a country that seems like a mix between England, France, and Denmark. There are some documents that indicate it's the early 1400s, and others that make you think you're closer to the end of the century. You have to imagine that not knowing what year it is or what country you're in would make planning a war awfully difficult. (if: $attention is "bed")[You](else:)[Do you [[test out the bed->bedroll]] or] head back outside and(if: $kinghenry is "met")[ (link: "go back to King Henry")[(set: $d3 to "5")(go-to: "dia3")]](else:)[ [[approach the leader->kinghenry]]](if: $attention is "bed")[.](else:)[?]](if: $inv contains "a very confusing map")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a very confusing map"))]

<br>Depending on which way you hold it, it could be England, France or Denmark. At least if you get lost you can blame it on the map.<br>

(if: $inv contains "a crown")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_henry_nc.jpg">](else:)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_henry.jpg">]</h1>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“Friend!" you say. “I am named William Shakespeare." “Excellent!" King Henry says with a smile. “You stand in the presence of King Henry the Richard, sovereign of this land, appointed by the Lord God himself. What is it you seek?" Do you: - (link: "ask him what lands he rules over")[(set: $d3 to "1")(goto: "dia3")]? - (link: "ask him who they're battling")[(set: $d3 to "2")(goto: "dia3")]? - (link: "ask if he's familiar with Ebenezer Scrooge")[(set: $d3 to "3")(goto: "dia3")]? Or do you [[head left->His Act 3]] or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“Foe!" you say for some reason, putting on your meanest face. “I see," says King Henry. “I appreciate your honesty." He makes eye contact with a captain of his army and points at you. The soldier steps over to you, draws his sword, and silently whisks you away, and you are never seen again. <center><h2 style="font-size: 160%;">GAME OVER</h2></center> Do you want to (if: (saved-games:) contains "Slot A")[(link: "reload your saved game")[(load-game:"Slot A")], ](else:)[][[start over->Title]], or just [[rewind a bit and say “friend->friend]]?"]

(set: $voidleft to "glitch")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Up ahead in the distance you pieces of scenery from multiple plays: a balcony. A green space. The hallway of a castle. <div class="error mx-auto" data-text="You were well aware of the fact that your plays were broken, but this is a new level. Things are fragmenting into nothingness.">You were well aware of the fact that your plays were broken, but this is a new level. Things are fragmenting into nothingness.</div> <div class="error mx-auto" data-text="Do you">Do you [[keep walking]] or [[turn back]]?</div>]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<div class="error mx-auto" data-text="Items and places that you put on the page blink into existence before you than disappear just as quickly. It's like walking through random pages of your own works, but with a chaotic randomness that you find disturbing.">Items and places that you put on the page blink into existence before you, then disappear just as quickly. It's like walking through random pages of your own works, but with a chaotic randomness that you find disturbing.</div> <div class="error mx-auto" data-text="Suddenly, the world-- your world seems to calm down. Before long you are back in an all white void, with just a black dot on the horizon. You walk towards the dot, inching closer and closer. You realize that it's a human figure.">Suddenly, the world-- your world seems to calm down. Before long you are back in an all white void, with just a black dot on the horizon. You walk towards the dot, inching closer and closer. You realize that it's a human figure.</div> <div class="error mx-auto" data-text="You walk closer and closer still, and you can see its face.">You walk closer and closer still, and you can see its face. [[You know this face->baconintro]].</div>]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<div class="error mx-auto" data-text="You turn around and, as if by magic, find yourself in Friar Lawrence's church.">You turn around and, as if by magic, find yourself in Friar Laurence's church.</div> <div class="error mx-auto" data-text="Confused, you turn again, and now you're on a boat, a brave new island on your horizon.">Confused, you turn again, and now you're on a boat, a brave new island on your horizon.</div> <div class="error mx-auto" data-text="You pivot on your heels and take off running, your footfalls crushing the tall grass of the Athenian woods.">You pivot on your heels and take off running, your footfalls crushing the tall grass of the Athenian woods.</div> <div class="error mx-auto" data-text="And then, after a few seconds of sprinting, the white void again. And">And then, after a few seconds of sprinting, the white void again. And [[there he is->baconintro]]...]

(set: $histhreeold to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $romeomeet is "caesar")[You are uncertain that anybody going to take care of Caesar's body. It's still just... there.](else:)[Up the stairs: one, two, three, fohmygoodness, there's a dead body. Okay. This is <i>Julius Caesar.</i> You're pretty sure you know who this is.] Do you (if: $sooth is "met")[(link: "walk on by")[(set: $d6 to "5")(goto: "dia6")]](else:)[(link: "walk on by")[(set: $metjuliet to "walk")(goto: "soothsayer")]] or(if: $romeomeet is "caesar")[ [[examine Caesar's body again->caesarlook]]](else:)[ [[investigate the body->caesarlook]]]? Or do you [[head left->His Act 2]], [[head right->His Act 4]], or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]

(set: $romeomeet to "caesar")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $rj_fivethree is "1")[You bow your head slightly and close your eyes. “Alas, poor Caesar. I wrote him well," you think to yourself. It's hard to get too sentimental over a fictional version of a real person who you've hung out with many times in Heaven. (Incidentally, he thought your play about him was “just okay.") (if: $tybalt is "daggerreach")[<br><br>D](else:)[<br><br>(link: "Do you try to remove the daggers from his back?")[(set: $rj_fivethree to "2")(goto: "caesarlook")]<br><br>Or d]](else-if: $rj_fivethree is "2")[(set: $tybalt to "daggerreach")You reach forward for the daggers, and the heretofore unmentioned lookie-loos turn their heads towards you angrily. “I'm bored," you think. “I've already done this with the other guy. Maybe I'd do this if I <i>really</i> needed something sharp."(if: $heardofriff is "respectspaid")[<br><br>D](else:)[<br><br>(link: "Do you pay your respects to the fallen Emperor?")[(set: $rj_fivethree to "1")(goto: "caesarlook")]<br><br>Or d]](else:)[Yep. That's old Julius, alright. Daggers in his back. Do you (link: "pay your respects")[(set: $heardofriff to "respectspaid")(set: $rj_fivethree to "1")(goto: "caesarlook")] or (link: "attempt to remove the pointy murder weapons from his body")[(set: $rj_fivethree to "2")(goto: "caesarlook")]?<br><br>Or d]o you(if: $sooth is "met")[](else:)[ [[go visit that soothsayer->soothsayer]],] [[head left->His Act 2]], [[head right->His Act 4]], or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You look closely at the nearest tapestry. There are a mixture of St. George's cross and purple and green thistle, indicating that you are existing in a kingdom that is simultaneously in early Scotland and early England. Kind of disappointing. You were expecting something a bit funnier. Do you(if: $histwonew is "yes")[ [[approach the throne->newqueenmaclear]]](else:)[ [[approach the throne->queenmaclear]]],(if: $histwonew is "yes")[ [[head left->newHis Act 1]]](else:)[ [[head left->His Act 1]]],(if: $histwonew is "yes")[ [[head right->newHis Act 3]]](else:)[ [[head right->His Act 3]]], or(if: $histwonew is "yes")[ [[check the map->newhistorymap]]](else:)[ (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]]?]](set: $polonius to "history")

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $queenmaclear is "met")[You stand before Queen MacLear once again. She's still quite imposing. Do you: (if: $skateboard is "maclear")[(if: $hamletfiveone is "maclear")[(if: $kinghenry is "met")[]It's pretty clear her patience with you is wearing thin.](else:)[Eager to change the subject, do you: - (link: "ask how she came to power")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "dia7")]?(if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "dia7")]?]](else:)[Eager to change the subject, do you: - (link: "ask how she came to power")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "dia7")]?(if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "dia7")]?]]]](else:)[You take a few steps forward. You are now close enough to see that there is a woman sitting on the throne, which is confusing to you, because women in power was not a topic you wrote about... ever. “You may approach!" booms a voice from the throne. You resist the urge to point out that you already were, and bow before the queen. “State your name!" she demands. Do you say: - (link: "William Shakespeare")[(set: $d7 to "1")(goto: "dia7")]? - (link: "Bill Shakespeare")[(set: $d7 to "1")(goto: "dia7")]? - (link: "Shilliam Bakespeare")[(set: $d7 to "1")(goto: "dia7")]? - (link: "Dorothy Parker")[(set: $d7 to "1")(goto: "dia7")]?] Or do you [[head left->His Act 1]], [[head right->His Act 3]], or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $d7 is "1")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg"></h1>(set: $queenmaclear to "met")You start to give whatever name you just clicked, but she interrupts: “I am Queen MacLear 8, Queen of Scots/Britons. Welcome, Whatever Name You Were About to Say. State your business!" Do you say: - (link: "I am just passing through")[(set: $d7 to "2")(goto: "dia7")]? - (link: "I am a writer")[(set: $d7 to "3")(goto: "dia7")]? - (link: "I am an unemployed king")[(set: $d7 to "4")(goto: "dia7")]?](if: $d7 is "2")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“I am just passing through," you say, and then bow again because it feels right. “I can't say that I get many people who are just strolling down the road who make it their business to inform the court," she says. “Ah, if there's nothing else... you may proceed?" She waves her hand at you in a dismissive fashion. Do you: - (link: "ask her what the best part about being queen is")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "dia7")]? - (link: "ask how she came to power")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "dia7")]?(if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "dia7")]?]](if: $d7 is "3")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“I am a writer of plays," you say. “In fact I am reminded of several that I have written right now." “I do not know what you mean by ‘written write,' but no matter," she says. “We love a good play. What will you perform for us?" Do you offer: - (link: "A story of woe")[(set: $d7 to "5")(goto: "dia7")]? - (link: "A story of romance")[(set: $d7 to "6")(goto: "dia7")]? - (link: "A story of car chases (and family)")[(set: $d7 to "7")(goto: "dia7")]?](if: $d7 is "4")[(set: $hamletmeet to "maclear")<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“I am an unemployed king," you say, “and I was wondering if there was a vacancy here." Queen MacLear 8 stares at you. “Was that a pickup line?" You stare back. “Maybe?" You're genuinely not sure. “I do not enjoy this dynamic. Let us move on." You think that's for the best. Do you: - (link: "ask how she came to power")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "dia7")]? - (link: "ask her what the best part about being queen is")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "dia7")]?(if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "dia7")]?]](if: $d7 is "5")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“Ah, well, yes. We just had a tragedy play here the other night..." She looks over at one of her guards for confirmation. He doesn't react. “I'm <i>sure</i> it's really good though. Thank you for offering!" Moving on. Do you: - (link: "ask her what the best part about being queen is")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "dia7")]? - (link: "ask how she came to power")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "dia7")]?(if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "dia7")]?]](if: $d7 is "6")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“Ah, well, yes. We just had a romance play here the other night..." She looks over at one of her guards for confirmation. He doesn't react. “I'm <i>sure</i> it's really good though. Thank you so much for offering!" Moving on. Do you: - (link: "ask her what the best part about being queen is")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "dia7")]? - (link: "ask how she came to power")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "dia7")]?(if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "dia7")]?]](if: $d7 is "7")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“I do not know what a car is, and I do not need any stories about family!" she laughs for a good while then composes herself. “If you knew my family, you'd understand why that was... an amusing thing... to me." Do you: - (link: "ask her what the best part about being queen is")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "dia7")]? - (link: "ask how she came to power")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "dia7")]?(if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "dia7")]?]](if: $d7 is "8")[(set: $hamletfiveone to "maclear")<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">She looks angry. “Would you ask a <i>man</i> sitting here that same question? Just because I'm a woman in power, you question how I attained it?" She's got a great point there. And she has two more points at the end of her guards' swords. You apologize for your sexism and she seems as though she is not going to kill you in the next few moments. “Nonetheless, it is a boring story you've heard dozens of times before: my father, the former king, dies after usurping the throne from his best friend after several witches told him to hand power over to his daughters one day. <i>Yawn</i>!" (if: $skateboard is "maclear")[(if: $hamletfiveone is "maclear")[(if: $kinghenry is "met")[(if: $metyorick is "mclear")[It's pretty clear her patience with you is wearing thin. ](else:)[Do you: (if: $skateboard is "maclear")[](else:)[- (link: "ask her what the best part about being queen is")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "dia7")]?](if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "dia7")]?]]](else:)[It's pretty clear her patience with you is wearing thin. ]](else:)[Do you: (if: $skateboard is "maclear")[](else:)[- (link: "ask her what the best part about being queen is")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "dia7")]?](if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "dia7")]?]]](else:)[Do you: (if: $skateboard is "maclear")[](else:)[- (link: "ask her what the best part about being queen is")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "dia7")]?](if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "dia7")]?]]](if: $d7 is "9")[(set: $skateboard to "maclear")<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">She thinks for a moment. “I suppose it's being able to have anyone who wastes my time with inane questions put to death on the spot." (if: $skateboard is "maclear")[(if: $hamletfiveone is "maclear")[It's pretty clear her patience with you is wearing thin.](else:)[ Eager to change the subject, do you: - (link: "ask how she came to power")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "dia7")]?(if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "dia7")]?]](else:)[ Eager to change the subject, do you: - (link: "ask how she came to power")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "dia7")]?(if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "dia7")]?]]]](if: $d7 is "10")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">(set: $metyorick to "maclear")“That poor man," she says. “So confused. He's been attacking his own armies for years now. How did he seem when you met him?" “Ah... confused," you say, after some deliberation. “Soon there'll be nothing left of him or his army." (if: $skateboard is "maclear")[(if: $hamletfiveone is "maclear")[(if: $kinghenry is "met")[(if: $metyorick is "mclear")[It's pretty clear her patience with you is wearing thin.](else:)[On this sad note, do you: (if: $skateboard is "maclear")[](else:)[- (link: "ask her what the best part about being queen is")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "dia7")]?](if: $hamletfiveone is "maclear")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask how she came to power")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "dia7")]?]]](else:)[It's pretty clear her patience with you is wearing thin. ]](else:)[On this sad note, do you: (if: $skateboard is "maclear")[](else:)[- (link: "ask her what the best part about being queen is")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "dia7")]?](if: $hamletfiveone is "maclear")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask how she came to power")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "dia7")]?]]]] Or do you [[head left->His Act 1]], [[head right->His Act 3]], or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You approach the camel, slowly. It eyes you carefully, but remains motionless. You extend your hands out calmly as you get within a few feet of it. It stomps one of its front hooves. Do you [[keep walking towards it->camelforward]] or [[question why you're doing this->camelquestion]]? Or do you head towards (if: $cleo is "met")[[[Cleo's tent->tent]] ](else:)[[[that small tent->tent]] ]in the distance? Or do you [[head left->void left]], [[head right->His Act 2]], or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You step closer and closer until you are touching the camel. It is as soft as a cloud, but by th' mass, tis a camel indeed. It doesn't seem to mind your touch, so you push your luck and jump on to its back. Where to? (if: $hisonenew is "yes")[[[Bacon's <i>Void</i>->BaconMission]]<br>] - (if: $histwo is "yes")[(if: $queenmaclear is "met")[[[Queen MacLear 8's Castle->His Act 2]]](else:)[[[The castle's entrance->His Act 2]]]](else:)[[[????->His Act 2]]] - (if: $histhree is "yes")[[[Ancient Rome->His Act 3]]](else:)[[[????->His Act 3]]] - (if: $hisfour is "yes")[(if: $kinghenry is "met")[[[King Henry's Pastoral Battlefield->His Act 4]]](else:)[[[The Pastoral Battlefield->His Act 4]]]](else:)[[[????->His Act 4]]]](else:)[(if: $voidleft is "yes")[- [[The <i>Void</i>->void left]]<br>](else-if: $voidleft is "glitch")[(if: $baconmission is "on")[ [[Bacon's <i>Void</i>->void left]]<br>](else:)[ [[The <i>Void</i>->void left]]<br>]](else:)[]- (if: $histwo is "yes")[(if: $queenmaclear is "met")[[[Queen MacLear 8's Castle->His Act 2]]](else:)[[[The castle's entrance->His Act 2]]]](else:)[[[????->His Act 2]]] - (if: $histhree is "yes")[[[Ancient Rome->His Act 3]]](else:)[[[????->His Act 3]]] - (if: $hisfour is "yes")[(if: $kinghenry is "met")[[[King Henry's Pastoral Battlefield->His Act 4]]](else:)[[[The Pastoral Battlefield->His Act 4]]]](else:)[[[????->His Act 4]]]](set: $camel to "on")

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“What am I going to do once I get up to the camel? Hop on it? Ride it somewhere?" you ask yourself. “Remember when you tried to drive a car?" (You basically <i>don't</i> because of the whole concussion thing). “And now I'm supposed to control a living creature? Hmmmm..." Do you [[keep walking towards it->camelforward]] or do you head towards (if: $hisonenew is "yes")[(if: $cleo is "met")[[[Cleo's tent->tentnew]] ](else:)[[[that small tent->tentnew]] ]](else:)[(if: $cleo is "met")[[[Cleo's tent->tent]] ](else:)[[[that small tent->tent]] ]]in the distance? Or do you(if: $hisonenew is "yes")[ [[head left->BaconMission]], [[head right->newHis Act 2]], or [[check the map->newhistorymap]]?](else:)[ [[head left->void left]], [[head right->His Act 2]], or (if: $usedmap is "never")[ [[take a step back and take it all in->hismap]]?](else:)[ [[(either: "get the whole picture", "check the map", "step back and take it all in", "examine the full horizon", "get your bearings", "see everything under the sun", "go back to the map", "go somewhere beyond your immediate vision", "make a larger move", "consult your notes", "see it all")->hismap]]?]]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You walk over to the terrarium and squat down to see the snakes at eye level. They're green, scaled, and have the cobra-style... neck... things. You're good with words, but you're no herpetologist. “Asps," Cleo says before returning her attention back to Not You. Do you (if: $grapes is "eaten")[](else:)[check out those [[grapes]] or ]sit on those(if: $hisonenew is "yes")[ [[pillows->pillowsnew]]](else:)[ [[pillows]]]?(set: $snakes to "seen")]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You take a look at the bowl of grapes. Purple. Your favorite. You hold your hand over them and look at Cleopatra, the implication clearly being “can I have a couple?" She nods. You pop a grape in your mouth and chew. Oh, right. Ancient Egypt. They don't have seedless grapes yet. Or cotton candy grapes, for that matter. You power through. Do you sit on the(if: $hisonenew is "yes")[ [[pillows->pillowsnew]]](else:)[ [[pillows]]](if: $snakes is "seen")[](else:)[ or [[look at the snakes->terrarium]]]?(set: $grapes to "eaten")]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<center><h2 style="font-size: 140%;">YOUR BROKEN HISTORICAL PLAY SCENE NOTES</h2></center> You can see it all from here: - [[Bacon's <i>Void</i>->BaconMission]] - (if: $hisone is "yes")[(if: $cleo is "met")[[[Ancient Egypt->newHis Act 1]]](else:)[[[The desert->newHis Act 1]]]](else:)[[[????->newHis Act 1]]] - (if: $histwo is "yes")[(if: $queenmaclear is "met")[[[Queen MacLear 8's Castle->newHis Act 2]]](else:)[[[The castle's entrance->newHis Act 2]]]](else:)[[[????->newHis Act 2]]] - (if: $histhree is "yes")[[[Ancient Rome->newHis Act 3]]](else:)[[[????->newHis Act 3]]] - (if: $hisfour is "yes")[(if: $kinghenry is "met")[[[King Henry's Pastoral Battlefield->newHis Act 4]]](else:)[[[The Pastoral Battlefield->newHis Act 4]]]](else:)[[[????->newHis Act 4]]]]

(set: $hisonenew to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[Suddenly, as if by magic, you find yourself in the middle of a desert. (if: $hisone is "yes")[You are back in Ancient Egypt.](else:)[“It is very hot here," you think. “Perhaps this is where I was supposed to start."] (if: $hisone is "yes")[Just ahead is that](else:)[In the distance you see a](if: $cleo is "met")[ [[small tent->pillowsnew]] that Cleopatra hangs out in](else:)[ [[small tent->tentnew]] that seems as though it would provide some shade]. Or you could [[look at that camel->camelnew]]. Or do you [[head left->BaconMission]], [[head right->newHis Act 2]], or [[check the map->newhistorymap]]?]

(set: $histwonew to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $macleartask is "done")[Hmmm. You're fairly certain you aren't going to be very welcome around these parts, what with the whole “trying to execute you but failing" thing. Better not go inside. D](else:)[You are (if: $histwo is "yes")[back](else:)[suddenly] inside (if: $histwo is "yes")[a](else:)[the] dark, gloomy castle. Torches burn, illuminating a few tapestries on the wall. (if: $queenmaclear is "met")[Queen MacLear still sits before you, a guard on either side.](else:)[At the far end of the room you can see a throne, with a guard on either side.] (if: $polonius is "history")[Do you](else:)[<br<br>Do you [[examine the tapestries->tapestries]] or](if: $queenmaclear is "met")[ (link: "continue your conversation")[(set: $d7 to "13")(goto: "newdia7")]](else:)[ [[approach the throne->newqueenmaclear]]]? Or d]o you [[head left->newHis Act 1]], [[head right->newHis Act 3]], or [[check the map->newhistorymap]]?]

(set: $histhree to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $histhreeold is "yes")[You see the massive columns and robed citizens that tell you once again you are in Ancient Rome.](else-if: $histhreenew is "yes")[You see the massive columns and robbed citizens that tell you once again you are in Ancient Rome.](else:)[You find yourself in a place that couldn't look more different from where you once were. You can tell from the architecture and the clothing of those around you that you are standing in an age long before your time. Men and women stroll past in conversation, draped in robes; behind them, massive columns thrust into the sky. It is clear you are standing in Ancient Rome.] (if: $daggers is "got")[You kind of want to avoid the crowd around Caesar's body, so do you go talk to the [[soothsayer->newsoothsayer]], [[head left->newHis Act 2]], [[head right->newHis Act 4]], or [[check the map->newhistorymap]]?](else:)[Do you walk [[up the stairs of the Senate->newSenate]] or go talk to that nice [[soothsayer->newsoothsayer]] standing nearby? Or do you [[head left->newHis Act 2]], [[head right->newHis Act 4]], or [[check the map->newhistorymap]]?]]

(set: $hisfour to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $daggers is "justgot")[You bend over and put your hands on your knees in an effort to catch your breath. You cannot remember the last time you ran for any length of time. There's nothing to rush for in Heaven. Alright. You got the daggers. (if: $inv contains "a very thin rope")[Suddenly the thought occurs to you that you've got everything you need to make a sword as well. You pull out your very thin rope and, using the wire hanger for stability, you very carefully manage to tie all five of the daggers into one mass that loosely resembles a sword. Is it perfect? No. Does it look awful? Yes. But it will work.(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a wire hanger"))(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "five bloody daggers"))(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a very thin rope")) (if: $inv contains "a crown")[Let's finish this and head (link: "back to Bacon")[(set: $daggers to "got")(goto: "swordheader")].(set: $nextknight to "final")](else:)[Wow! A sword. (link: "Let's regroup")[(set: $daggers to "got")(goto: "BaconMission")].](if: $inv contains "a “sword”")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a “sword”"))]](else:)[(if: $nextknight is "crown")[](else-if: $nextknight is "sword")[Now you just need something to tie them all together with to create a sword. ]You continue breathing (very) hard for several minutes until you feel well enough to (link: "take in your surroundings again")[(set: $daggers to "got")(goto: "newHis Act 4")].]](if: $daggers is "justgot")[](else:)[(if: $hisfourold is "yes")[Just as before, you see a large group of soldiers and in the distance, (if: $kinghenry is "met")[King Henry the Richard, still astride his horse](else:)[a man on a horse who is clearly this army's commander].(if: $crown is "on")[ The soldiers turn their heads towards you, noticing the crown your wearing. They seem unsure if they're supposed to be following you now. It's as though you've stepped into a very uncomfortable party.]](else:)[A large group of soldiers is amassed before you. You can see in the distance, at the top of a small knoll, (if: $kinghenry is "met")[King Henry the Richard, still astride his horse](else:)[a man on a horse who is clearly this army's commander].(if: $crown is "on")[ The soldiers turn their heads towards you, noticing the crown your wearing. They seem unsure if they're supposed to be following you now. It's as though you've stepped into a very uncomfortable party.]] Do you(if: $kinghenry is "met")[ (link: "go back to King Henry")[(set: $d3 to "5")(go-to: "newdia3")]](else:)[ [[approach the leader->newkinghenry]]], [[check out one of these makeshift tents->newtents]], [[head left->newHis Act 3]] or [[check your map->newhistorymap]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<center><h2 style="font-size: 140%;"><i>DIFFICULTY: NORMAL MODE</i></h2></center><h2 style="font-size: 70%;">(Okay, phew. This has been normal mode the whole time.)</h2> <i>Somehow,</i> you've gotta reverse knight this guy and take away his title. Step 1: Get him down on one knee. Hmmm... You [[ask him to get down on one knee->kneel]].](set: $mode to "normal")(set: $nextknight to "kneel")

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<center><h2 style="font-size: 140%;"><i>DIFFICULTY: EXPERT MODE</i></h2></center><h2 style="font-size: 70%;">(Okay, good. This has been expert mode the whole time.)</h2> “Give me a second," you say to Bacon and pull out your notebook, quill and ink. You begin jotting furiously and devise a plan to reverse-knight Bacon. You [[look it over->your notebook]] before [[calling “time in."->BaconMission]]](set: $mode to "expert")(set: $nextknight to "kneel")

(if: $hisone is "yes")[](else:)[(set: $hisone to "yes")]<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_cleo.jpg"></h1>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You poke your head in to see if the tent is empty. It is not, (if: $cleo is "met")[and you wave to Cleopatra, still](else:)[and you immediately lock eyes with Cleopatra,] lounging on a luxurious collection of pillows. Next to her sits (if: $snakes is "seen")[that terrarium of asps](else:)[a [[terrarium of snakes->terrarium]]],(if: $cleo is "met")[ [[Cleo's conversation pillows->pillowsnew]]](else:)[ a few [[extra pillows->pillowsnew]]], a bundle of letters to Cleo, and a(if: $grapes is "eaten")[ bunch of grapes](else:)[ [[bunch of grapes->grapes]]]. She looks at you but doesn't say anything.]

(if: $hisone is "yes")[](else:)[(set: $hisone to "yes")](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You approach the camel, slowly. It eyes you carefully, but remains motionless. You extend your hands out calmly as you get within a few feet of it. It stomps one of its front hooves. Do you [[pet the camel->pet]] or do you head towards (if: $cleo is "met")[[[Cleo's tent->tentnew]] ](else:)[[[that small tent->tentnew]] ]in the distance? Or do you [[head left->BaconMission]] or [[check the map->newhistorymap]]?]

<br>It's soft, purple and smells faintly of perfume.<br>

(set: $histwo to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You (if: $queenmaclear is "met")[stand before Queen MacLear once again. She's still quite imposing. Do you: (if: $nextknight is "kneel")[<br>- (link: "ask how to make a person kneel")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "newdia7")]](else-if: $nextknight is "crown")[(if: $mode is "expert")[<br>- (link: "ask if she knows a king who can help")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "newdia7")]](else-if: $mode is "normal")[<br>- (link: "ask if she knows how to become a king")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "newdia7")]]](if: $inv contains "a very thin rope")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "insult women and see what happens to you")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "newdia7")]]](else:)[take a few steps forward. You are now close enough to see that there is a woman sitting on the throne, which is confusing to you, because women in power was not a topic you wrote about... ever. “You may approach!" booms a voice from the throne. You resist the urge to point out that you already were, and bow before the queen. (if: $crown is "on")[“Are you a king? State your business!" she demands. Do you say: - (link: "the truth")[(set: $d7 to "15")(goto: "newdia7")]? - (link: "tell her you're just looking for a sword")[(set: $d7 to "16")(goto: "newdia7")]? - (link: "declare her kingdom your property")[(set: $d7 to "17")(goto: "newdia7")]?](else:)[“State your name!" she demands. Do you say: - (link: "William Shakespeare")[(set: $d7 to "1")(goto: "newdia7")]? - (link: "Bill Shakespeare")[(set: $d7 to "1")(goto: "newdia7")]? - (link: "Shilliam Bakespeare")[(set: $d7 to "1")(goto: "newdia7")]? - (link: "Dorothy Parker")[(set: $d7 to "1")(goto: "newdia7")]?] Or do you [[head left->newHis Act 1]], [[head right->newHis Act 3]], or [[check the map->newhistorymap]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $d7 is "1")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg"></h1>(set: $queenmaclear to "met")You start to give whatever name you just clicked, but she interrupts: “I am Queen MacLear 8, Queen of Scots/Britons. Welcome, Whatever Name You Were About to Say. State your business!" Do you say: - (link: "I am just passing through")[(set: $d7 to "2")(goto: "newdia7")]? - (link: "I am a writer")[(set: $d7 to "3")(goto: "newdia7")]? - (link: "I am an unemployed king")[(set: $d7 to "4")(goto: "newdia7")]?](if: $d7 is "2")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“I am just passing through," you say, and then bow again because it feels right. “I can't say that I get many people who are just strolling down the road who make it their business to inform the court," she says. “Ah, if there's nothing else... you may proceed?" She waves her hand at you in a dismissive fashion. Do you: - (link: "ask her what the best part about being queen is")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "newdia7")]? - (link: "ask how she came to power")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "newdia7")]?(if: $kinghenry is "met")[<br>- (link: "ask her if she's at war with King Henry the Richard")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "newdia7")]?]](if: $d7 is "3")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“I am a writer of plays," you say. “In fact I am reminded of several that I have written right now." “I do not know what you mean by ‘written write,' but no matter," she says. “We love a good play. What will you perform for us?" Do you offer: - (link: "A story of woe")[(set: $d7 to "5")(goto: "newdia7")]? - (link: "A story of romance")[(set: $d7 to "6")(goto: "newdia7")]? - (link: "A story of car chases (and family)")[(set: $d7 to "7")(goto: "newdia7")]?](if: $d7 is "4")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“I am an unemployed king," you say, “and I was wondering if there was a vacancy here." Queen MacLear 8 stares at you. “Was that a pickup line?" You stare back. “Maybe?" You're genuinely not sure. “I do not enjoy this dynamic. Let us move on." You think that's for the best.](if: $d7 is "5")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“Ah, well, yes. We just had a tragedy play here the other night..." She looks over at one of her guards for confirmation. He doesn't react. “I'm <i>sure</i> it's really good though. Thank you for offering!"](if: $d7 is "6")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“Ah, well, yes. We just had a romance play here the other night..." She looks over at one of her guards for confirmation. He doesn't react. “I'm <i>sure</i> it's really good though. Thank you so much for offering!"](if: $d7 is "7")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“I do not know what a car is, and I do not need any stories about family!" she laughs for a good while then composes herself. “If you knew my family, you'd understand why that was... an amusing thing... to me."](if: $d7 is "8")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“Why, yes. I do." She claps her hands twice. You look around the room trying to figure out what happens now. After a moment she looks to one of her guards, moves her head slightly in your direction, and the guards draw their swords and advance on you. In a panic, you drop to one knee. The guards sheath their swords. “Like that!" the Queen exclaims.(set: $calendar to "a")](if: $d7 is "9")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">(if: $hamletfiveone is "maclear")[She looks angry. “And just what is it that a woman in a seat of power can't accomplish for you? Mmmm?" You did it again, idiot. You don't get a "sexism pass" just because you were alive in the 1600s. Try again.](else:)[She looks angry. “Would you ask a <i>man</i> sitting here that same question? A woman in power isn't enough for you? You need another man?" She's got a great point there. And she has two more points at the end of her guards' swords. You apologize for your sexism and she seems as though she is not going to kill you in the next few moments. (set: $polonius to "maclear")](set: $scrooge to "maclear")](if: $d7 is "10")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">She looks angry. “And just what is it that a woman in a seat of power can't accomplish for you? Mmmm?"(set: $scrooge to "maclear") (if: $hamletfiveone is "maclear")[You did it again, idiot. You don't get a “sexism pass" just because you were alive in the 1600s. You apologize and attempt to move on.](else:)[Oh boy. Not good. You don't get a “sexism pass" just because you were alive in the 1600s. You apologize and attempt to move on.]](if: $d7 is "11")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“Your Majesty, do let me know if you are in need of a Royal Advisor. I know an average border collie that would surpass any woman's intelligence," you say. “Right. Hang him right now, please." [[The guards step towards you menacingly->hanging]].](if: $d7 is "12")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“No," she responds, flatly. “I am using it." I mean, fair enough.](if: $d7 is "13")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“I'm back!" you say, excitedly. “Fine," she responds.](if: $d7 is "14")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“Sure you can borrow a sword," she says. She looks over at the guard on her left and points to you. “Where would you like it? Heart or stomach?" The guard begins walking towards you. “Never mind! <i>Never mind!</i>" you say. “Oh, drat," the Queen says, disappointed.](if: $d7 is "15")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“Oh, no, I'm not-" you say. “YAWN," she interrupts. “I'm Queen MacLear 8. State your business promptly, if you please."](if: $d7 is "16")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“Oh, that's easy enough. (I'm Queen MacLear 8, by the way)," she says. She looks over at the guard on her left and points to you. “Where would you like it? Heart or stomach?" The guard begins walking towards you. “Never mind! <i>Never mind!</i>" you say. “Oh, drat," the Queen says, disappointed.](if: $d7 is "17")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_maclear.jpg">“Ah, well, I'm Queen MacLear 8. Nice to meet you," she says. “Guards?" She points at you and the two guards flanking her make their way towards you. Do you [[run->runhanging]] or [[try to talk your way out of it->talkhanging]]?](if: $d7 is "1")[](else-if: $d7 is "2")[](else-if: $d7 is "3")[](else-if: $d7 is "11")[](else-if: $d7 is "17")[](else:)[<br><br>Do you:(if: $nextknight is "kneel")[(if: $calendar is "a")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask how to make a person kneel")[(set: $d7 to "8")(goto: "newdia7")]?]](if: $scrooge is "maclear")[](else:)[(if: $nextknight is "crown")[(if: $mode is "expert")[(if: $polonius is "maclear")[<br>- (link: "ask if you can borrow her crown")[(set: $d7 to "12")(goto: "newdia7")]?](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask if she knows a king who can help")[(set: $d7 to "9")(goto: "newdia7")]?]]]](if: $nextknight is "sword")[<br>- (link: "ask if you can borrow one of her guards' swords")[(set: $d7 to "14")(goto: "newdia7")]?](if: $scrooge is "maclear")[(if: $inv contains "a very thin rope")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "insult women and see what happens to you")[(set: $d7 to "11")(goto: "newdia7")]?]](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask if she knows how to become a king")[(set: $d7 to "10")(goto: "newdia7")]?]](if: $d7 is "11")[](else-if: $d7 is "17")[](else:)[ Or do you [[go left->newHis Act 1]], [[go right->newHis Act 3]], or [[bring out your map->newhistorymap]]?]]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(set: $macleartask to "done")The very thin rope used to hang you instantly snaps. You are surprised, but you barely hesitate once you hit the ground and take off running, never to return to Queen Maclear 8's court. Once you achieve a safe distance, you untie the noose and (if: $inv contains "five bloody daggers")[look at the thin rope. Suddenly the thought occurs to you that you now have everything you need to make a poor excuse for a sword. You pull out your five bloody daggers and, using the wire hanger for stability, you very carefully manage to tie them all into one mass that loosely resembles a sword. Is it perfect? No. Does it look awful? Yes. But it will work.(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "a wire hanger"))(set: $inv to $inv - (a: "five bloody daggers")) (if: $inv contains "a crown")[Let's finish this and head [[back to Bacon->swordheader]].(set: $nextknight to "final")](else-if: $inv contains "a “sword”")[Let's finish this and head [[back to Bacon->swordheader]].(set: $nextknight to "final")](else:)[Wow! A sword. [[Let's regroup->BaconMission]].](if: $inv contains "a “sword”")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a “sword”"))]](else:)[(if: $inv contains "a “sword”")[decide to finish this and head [[back to Bacon->swordheader]].(set: $nextknight to "final")](else:)[put the rope in your pocket.(if: $inv contains "a very thin rope")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a very thin rope"))](if: $inv contains "a “sword”")[](else:)[ Do you [[head left->newHis Act 1]], [[head right->newHis Act 3]], or [[check the map->newhistorymap]]?]]]]

<br>It's a pretty solid length of rope, but not very useful to support any kind of weight (and you don't even weigh that much).<br>

(set: $histhreenew to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $romeomeet is "caesar")[You are uncertain that anybody going to take care of Caesar's body. It's still just... there.](else:)[(if: $heardofriff is "respectspaid")[Yup. Caesar's body is still just there.](else:)[Up the stairs: one, two, three, fohmygoodness, there's a dead body. Okay. This is <i>Julius Caesar.</i> You're pretty sure you know who this is.]] (if: $nextknight is "sword")[Oh... Those daggers (link: "look awfully interesting")[(set: $rj_fivethree to "2")(goto: "newcaesarlook")]...](else:)[Do you (if: $sooth is "met")[(link: "walk on by")[(set: $d6 to "5")(goto: "newdia6")]](else:)[(link: "walk on by")[(set: $metjuliet to "walk")(goto: "newsoothsayer")]] or(if: $heardofriff is "respectspaid")[ (link: "examine Caesar's body again")[(set: $rj_fivethree to "3")(goto: "newcaesarlook")]](else-if: $romeomeet is "caesar")[ [[examine Caesar's body again->newcaesarlook]]](else:)[ [[investigate the body->newcaesarlook]]]?] Or do you [[head left->newHis Act 2]], [[head right->newHis Act 4]], or [[check the map->newhistorymap]]?]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You step closer and closer until you are touching the camel. It is as soft as a cloud, but by th' mass, tis a camel indeed. You give him a nice scruffle and the camel makes an appreciative camel noise. Do you (if: $cleo is "met")[check out [[Cleo's tent->tentnew]], ](else:)[go into [[that small tent->tentnew]], ][[go left->BaconMission]], [[go right->newHis Act 2]], or [[check the map->newhistorymap]]?]

(set: $romeomeet to "caesar")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $rj_fivethree is "1")[You bow your head slightly and close your eyes. “Alas, poor Caesar. I wrote him well," you think to yourself. It's hard to get too sentimental over a fictional version of a real person who you've hung out with many times in Heaven. (Incidentally, he thought your play about him was “just okay.") (if: $tybalt is "daggerreach")[<br><br>D](else:)[<br><br>Do you (link: "try to remove the daggers from his back")[(set: $rj_fivethree to "2")(goto: "newcaesarlook")]?<br><br>Or d]](else-if: $rj_fivethree is "2")[You see the crowd around Caesar. You see the daggers. It might cause a commotion, but you don't have any mixtapes left in your arsenal, so you're just going to have to go for it. You run to Caesar's body, you quickly pull out five of the daggers plunged into his back, and (link-goto: "you run as fast as you can", "newHis Act 4").(set: $daggers to "justgot")(if: $inv contains "five bloody daggers")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "five bloody daggers"))]](else-if: $rj_fivethree is "3")[There he is. Still dead. Still riddled with daggers. (link: "attempt to remove the pointy murder weapons from his body")[(set: $rj_fivethree to "2")(goto: "newcaesarlook")] or d](else:)[Yep. That's old Julius, alright. Daggers in his back. Do you (link: "pay your respects")[(set: $heardofriff to "respectspaid")(set: $rj_fivethree to "1")(goto: "newcaesarlook")] or (link: "attempt to remove the pointy murder weapons from his body")[(set: $rj_fivethree to "2")(goto: "newcaesarlook")]?<br><br>Or d](if: $nextknight is "sword")[](else:)[(if: $daggers is "justgot")[](else:)[o you(if: $sooth is "met")[](else:)[ [[go visit that soothsayer->newsoothsayer]],] [[head left->newHis Act 2]], [[head right->newHis Act 4]], or [[check the map->newhistorymap]]?]]]

<br>They are all sharp and still quite bloody. Wait. <i>Ew</i>. Does that mean your pocket is covered in blood? Did you get Caesar's blood all over your other stuff? <i>Gross.</i><br>

(set: $hisfournew to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(set: $kinghenry to "met")“What ho!" you say, which was a thing people said to get attention back in your day. “How does today find you, Your Majesty?" A little informal for a king, but you only notice the crown when you got halfway through your sentence. “Hallo, sir. Be you [[friend->newfriend]] or [[foe->newfoe]]?"]

(set: $hisfournew to "yes")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You pop your head inside the tent, see that it's empty, and step fully inside. It's rather cozy, actually. There's a carpet on the floor, a potentially comfortable mattress, and a table, upon which is laid a variety of maps and important looking papers. Do you(if: $attention is "bed")[](else:)[ [[test out the bed->newbedroll]]](if: $inv contains "a very confusing map")[](else:)[, [[examine the documents->newdocuments]],](if: $attention is "bed")[](else:)[ or] (if: $kinghenry is "met")[ (link: "go back to King Henry")[(set: $d3 to "5")(go-to: "newdia3")]](else:)[head back outside and [[approach the leader->newkinghenry]]]? Or do you [[head left->newHis Act 3]] or [[use your map->newhistorymap]]?]

<br>Okay. “Sword" is <i>really</i> pushing it. It's five daggers tied together with a rope. But it'll hold together enough to do what you've got to do.<br>

(set: $bed to $bed + 1)(set: $attention to "bed")(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You lay down on the bed. It's wouldn't be very comfortable to someone with modern tastes, but it reminds you a little of the beds from when you grew up; back when beds were uncomfortable and bad. You take a moment for yourself and reflect upon the fact that (if: $bed is 4)[you have laid down in every bed you could have laid in. Four. You then reflect a little bit more and realize you have no idea why you did that.](if: $bed is 3)[you've laid down in many beds today. You resisted the pull of only one of them. You're not sure if you're proud of this.](else-if: $bed is < 3)[you somehow managed to stop yourself from laying in most of the beds you've come across today. Somehow, this was the irresistible one.] Do you(if: $inv contains "a very confusing map")[](else:)[ [[examine the documents->newdocuments]],] head back outside and(if: $kinghenry is "met")[ (link: "go back to King Henry")[(set: $d3 to "5")(go-to: "newdia3")]](else:)[ [[approach the leader->newkinghenry]]], [[head left->newHis Act 3]] or [[pull out the map->newhistorymap]]?]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $kinghenrymeet is "yes")[Just as how King Henry the Richard seems to be a mixture of several historical figures, the same is immediately evident about his papers.](else:)[You look over the table of papers and you're only more confused by what you see.] The map seems to be of a country that seems like a mix between England, France, and Denmark. There are some documents that indicate it's the early 1400s, and others that make you think you're closer to the end of the century. You have to imagine that not knowing what year it is or what country you're in would make planning a war awfully difficult. (if: $attention is "bed")[You](else:)[Do you [[test out the bed->newbedroll]] or] head back outside and(if: $kinghenry is "met")[ (link: "go back to King Henry")[(set: $d3 to "5")(go-to: "newdia3")]](else:)[ [[approach the leader->newkinghenry]]](if: $attention is "bed")[.](else:)[?]](if: $inv contains "a very confusing map")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a very confusing map"))]

(if: $inv contains "a crown")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_henry_nc.jpg">](else:)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><h1 class="animate__animated animate__slideInRight animate__delay-1s"><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_henry.jpg">](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[“Friend!" you say. “I am named William Shakespeare." “Excellent!" King Henry says with a smile. “You stand in the presence of King Henry the Richard, sovereign of this land, appointed by the Lord God himself. What is it you seek?" Do you: - (link: "ask him what lands he rules over")[(set: $d3 to "1")(goto: "newdia3")]? - (link: "ask him who they're battling")[(set: $d3 to "2")(goto: "newdia3")]? - (link: "ask if he's familiar with Ebenezer Scrooge")[(set: $d3 to "3")(goto: "newdia3")]?(if: $nextknight is "kneel")[(if: $randgmeet is "rich")[](else:)[(if: $gertrudesroom is "pillow")[(if: $randgmeet is "poor")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask if he has a pillow you could borrow")[(set: $d3 to "9")(goto: "newdia3")]?]](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask if he has any tips on how to make somebody kneel")[(set: $d3 to "6")(goto: "newdia3")]?]]](if: $nextknight is "crown")[(if: $inv contains "a crown")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask if you could have his crown")[(set: $d3 to "7")(goto: "newdia3")]?]](if: $nextknight is "sword")[(if: $randgmeet is "tinker")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask if you could borrow a sword from his army")[(set: $d3 to "8")(goto: "newdia3")]?]] Or do you [[head left->newHis Act 3]] or [[unfurl your map->newhistorymap]]?]

(if: $inv contains "a crown")[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_henry_nc.jpg">](else:)[<style> img { float: right;}</style><img src="http://www.ramseyess.com/shake/images/portrait_henry.jpg">](font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(if: $d3 is "1")[He gestures his arm outward. “You stand in the kingdom of The Richard. Our flag waves majestically o'er the land and the sun shall never set on our empire." “And it's named...?" you ask. “Of course it is."(if: $rj_onefive is "his")[](else:)[ You're confused about what is going on here, but the good news is it sounds like he is too.](set: $parked to "his")](if: $d3 is "2")[“The enemy!" King Henry the Richard says, staring off into the distance as if his furrowed brow was all that was keeping them away. After it's clear that that was his full answer, you attempt to clarify. “And who is that?" “I am attacking my own forces so that I may usurp my throne! Soon I will give them a rousing speech that inspires them to finally end my tyrannical reign so that I, King Henry the Richard, can finally bring forth the Golden Age I was destined to begin!" Yeah, that sounds like a Greatest Hits of several of your historical kings. (if: $parked is "his")[](else:)[You're confused about what is going on here, but the good news, it sounds like he is too.](set: $rj_onefive to "his")](if: $d3 is "3")[“I do apologize, William, but I have no idea who this Ebenezer is." “Good, good," you say. “Just checking." <i>Phew.</i>(set: $dancehall to "his")](if: $d3 is "4")[“What a strange way to ask that question. I fear that I do not, at the moment, Will." Ah, well.(set: $metriff to "his")](if: $d3 is "5")[“Hello again," you say. “<i>WHAT?</i>" says King Henry the Richard, trying to not seem startled. “Oh! Hello," he adds, attempting poorly to recover.](if: $d3 is "6")[“An interesting question," King Henry responds. “I would look the person straight in the eye, bring my face in very close to theirs..." He demonstrates this directly in front of your face. “...and I would say, ‘Would you give your life to defend me?’" “No," you say reflexively. The king grows a little sheepish. “Right, well, that was just an example, of how I would, y'know, initiate the whole... kneeling thing." You both feel very awkward.(set: $randgmeet to "rich")](if: $d3 is "7")[“Oh, yes, of course," he says, without thinking about it for more than a second. He reaches his hands up, lifts it off his head, and nonchalantly presents it to you. “Okay. Thank you," you say. Are you a king now? Was King Henry a king at all? You do not know the answers to these questions, but you do know that you have a crown.(if: $inv contains "a “sword”")[(set: $nextknight to "final")](else:)[(set: $nextknight to "sword")](if: $inv contains "a crown")[](else:)[(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "a crown"))]](if: $d3 is "8")[“I'm sorry, friend," King Henry the Richard says. “My men and I need all the arms we can gather if we are to vanquish the sovereign of this land, the horrible King Henry the Richard." He shivers at the thought of himself. “What a villain!" So confusing. Enough of this.(set: $randgmeet to "tinker")](if: $d3 is "9")[“Sorry, friend," King Henry the Richard says. “Generally speaking, my army sleeps with their heads upon balled up underclothes. Of course, as a monarch, I have <i>a</i> pillow, but I won't be giving that luxury up, no matter how good friends we are."(set: $randgmeet to "poor")] (if: $nextknight is "final")[You're pretty sure you have everything you need to un-knight Bacon. [[Let's do this->BaconMission]].](else:)[Do you:(if: $parked is "his")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask him what lands he rules over")[(set: $d3 to "1")(goto: "newdia3")]?](if: $rj_onefive is "his")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask him who they're battling")[(set: $d3 to "2")(goto: "newdia3")]?](if: $dancehall is "his")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask if he's familiar with Ebenezer Scrooge")[(set: $d3 to "3")(goto: "newdia3")]?](if: $nextknight is "kneel")[(if: $randgmeet is "rich")[](else:)[(if: $gertrudesroom is "pillow")[(if: $randgmeet is "poor")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask if he has a pillow you could borrow")[(set: $d3 to "9")(goto: "newdia3")]?]](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask if he has any tips on how to make somebody kneel")[(set: $d3 to "6")(goto: "newdia3")]?]]](if: $nextknight is "crown")[(if: $inv contains "a crown")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask if you could have his crown")[(set: $d3 to "7")(goto: "newdia3")]?]](if: $nextknight is "sword")[(if: $randgmeet is "tinker")[](else:)[<br>- (link: "ask if you could borrow a sword from his army")[(set: $d3 to "8")(goto: "newdia3")]?]] Or do you(if: $attention is "bed")[(if: $inv contains "a very confusing map")[]](else:)[ [[check out one of these nearby makeshift tents->newtents]],] [[head left->newHis Act 3]] or [[bring out the map->newhistorymap]]?]]

<br>It's a pretty standard crown, all things considered. Good weight. Nice design. Even if there's no power conferred through it, you enjoy owning a crown.(if: $crown is "on")[](else:)[ (link: "Do you put it on")[(set: $crown to "on")(goto: "a crown on")]?]<br>

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[<center><h2 style="font-size: 140%;"><i>DIFFICULTY: NORMAL MODE</i></h2></center><h2 style="font-size: 70%;"></h2> Okay, great. It's Normal Mode now. Before going forward, you should probably [[check your notes on the situation->your notebook]] to determine your next steps. Then you can return to [[stand face-to-face with Bacon->BaconMission]].](set: $mode to "normal")

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You flip through the pages. Everything is in chronological order. All the characters seem to have the names you gave them. No warthogs. No gangs of dancing boys. The history plays are not insane. It seems as though you've done it! Wow! Legacy saved. At that moment, St. Genesius exits his private bathroom. His hands are wet. Do you want to be [[rude]] to him or (link:"polite")[(set: $mckee to "polite")(goto: "rude")]?]

(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[(set: $bigbook to "skip")You rush out of St. Genesius' office, reflecting on the fact that your entire legacy is redeemed. Wild. Suddenly, the office door bursts open. Genesius steps out and finds you. His hands are wet. Do you want to be [[rude]] to him or (link:"polite")[(set: $mckee to "polite")(goto: "rude")]?]

<div class="floating"><center>(font:"IM Fell DW Pica")[You apologize to Dorothy Parker.</center></div> (live: 2s)[She's had a lot of time to prepare and absolutely destroys you, verbally.] (live: 5s)[You check in on Francis Bacon over at his apartment in heaven.] (live: 7s)[He's diligently researching how to get posthumously re-knighted.] (live: 10s)[You place King Henry the Richard's crown on your mantle as a reminder of this adventure.] (live: 12s)[You begin working on a brand-new play: <i>Romeo vs. The Jets</i>.] (live: 14s)[<font style="font-size: 75%;">(It's not very good.)</font>]</div> (live: 17s)[[[Next->FINAL SCREEN]].]]