Wet Ceridwen & The Scuzz Nymphs

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:purple)+(background:yellow))(link: 'WET CERIDWEN & THE SCUZZ NYMPHS')[Hi. Ur a SCUZZ NYMPH & ur name is (link: 'Wen')[Wen Trigger Warning: Before u begin u should know that towards the latter part of this CHOOSE UR OWN ADVENTURE game there are descriptions of violence, discussion of grief, suicide and reference to the experience of transphobia (though as u approach most of these subjects u will be given the option to skip them if u choose). These subjects are here because it feels important to give them their names if/when we have the capacity to do so, so we can help each other deal with the residue they leave behind. This is ultimately a game about friendship, becoming a monster, ritual, the sentience of seaweed and fucking up transphobes. If ur ready to begin click on ''//[[this text.->intro2]]//'']] { (track: 'song1', 'loop', true) (track: 'song1', 'playwhenpossible') }

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:lime)+(background:navy))The SCUZZ NYMPHS are: (link: 'Wen')[this is u & ur pronouns are whatever u want them to be] (link: 'Ban')[Ban (they/them/theirs) SCUZZ NYMPHS film director] (link: 'Chelle')[Chelle (she/her/hers) cinematography] (link: 'Poe')[Poe (ze/zem/zes) choreographer & performer] (link: 'Agrimony')[Agrimony (he/him/his) ''[[performer->intro3]]'']

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:lime)+(background:navy))U all have ur own things going on But together ur THE SCUZZ NYMPHS & make scrappy no-budget queer indie ''[[porn->intro4]]''

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:navy))Ur on a quiet beach it’s (link: 'summer')[summer U arrived (link: 'early')[early Before (link: 'light')[light Set (link: 'up')[up & had the morning's ''[[privacy->intro5]]'']]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:navy))Ur filming (link: 'THE SIGHT WILL NEVER SATE')[THE SIGHT WON'T SATE (a bastardised line from JEWELLED SEAWEED by Kakinomoto no Hitomaro, an Asuka period Japanese poet)] about three NYMPHY queers getting slimy in the rockpools, seaweed & sea As Ban says when they give the SCUZZ elevator pitch: What can I say I love (link: 'Annie Sprinkle')[Annie Sprinkle Ban is really into these Japanese ink paintings of bulbous octopus glassy eyed above beaks between lips - tasteful in a way ur videos never ''[[are->intro6]]'']

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:navy))Ur sated on hot sand ur head on Poe’s shoulder watching Chelle get close ups of rock pools Poe’s back is so straight ur head is awkward here but ur trying for familiar affection ''//[[U: “What was that thing u were saying about Greenland sharks living forever again?”->sharks]]//'' ''//[[Poe: “Wen oh Wen tell me about ur name!”->wen]]//''

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:red)+(background:white))Poe: Well, since u asked, scientists have recently found via carbon-dating their eyeballs that Greenland Sharks might live up to like 500 years, potentially due to a //super// slow metabolism, they can live off a single seal for close to a year. Ascetic shark monks. So these researchers caught this pregnant lady shark and measured its RESTING heart rate, 8-10 beats per minute, which is like some of the lowest ever recorded in vertebrates. I mean ‘RESTING’ feels like a generous word, given the shark in question was lying on the hull of a boat three researchers gathered around her body, all prodding and poking, her blood snaking away from her on the metal hull. The saddest part is the species are considered a nuisance to the Greenland fishing industry and has been for hundreds of years, still to this day a price is placed on a Greenland Shark heart (not even it’s meat). Because of this they may be on the brink of collapse, disappearing altogether, creatures which have been alive since the 1500’s, as old as TREES we would think of as ancient u know. ''//[[U: That's so wild! Loads more interesting than the story of my name lol. Now, let's dive right on into this day!->beach]]//'' ''//[[Poe: No way, u don't get out of it that easily, now u tell me about ur name!->wen]]//''

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:red)+(background:yellow))Short for Ceridwen the Welsh Goddess know (link: 'her?')[her? My mums are both Pagan & her story’s badass Now this all gets kind of ableist so bare that in (link: 'mind')[mind Basically she has this child & he’s really ''stupid'' whatever that means But she’s a powerful witch so she concocts this potion to make him super ''intelligent'' (link: 'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm blurghhhhhhhhh')[mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm blurghhhhhhhhh Fuck it why does this shit always have to be so oppositional let’s ''[[change the story->wen1]]'']]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:red)+(background:yellow))Cool ok let’s replace stupid & intelligent (link: 'with')[with (set: $stupid to (prompt: "Type what word or phrase u would like to replace 'stupid' with here, for example u could change it to:", "different"))$stupid & (set: $intelligent to (prompt: "Type what word or phrase u would like to replace 'intelligent' with here, for example u could change it to:", "elasticated"))$intelligent perfect those I can get ''[[behind->wen2]]'']

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:red)+(background:yellow))So she has this kid who’s $stupid & so she makes a potion to make him $intelligent & she employs this boy to stir her cauldron on the beach where she does her magical work for a year & a day cos that’s how long it will take to brew It always takes a year & a day doesn’t ''[[it?->wen3]]''

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:red)+(background:yellow))But it’s only the first 3 drops of the potion that will work the rest of it will be poisonous (a clever lesson about how to use ‘toxins’ safely maybe) & just as the potion turns potent this boy who’s tirelessly stirred it lifts the wooden spoon & accidentally spills 3 drops in his mouth & in the hair breadth of a moment is so $intelligent that he understands all sorts of deep magical ''[[currents->wen4]]''

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:red)+(background:yellow))To escape Ceridwen he transforms himself into a (link: 'hare')[hare She’s coming down onto the beach to claim her potion for herself when she witnesses (link: 'this')[this She howls in frustration (link: '& loss')[becomes a (link: 'greyhound')[greyhound & the chase ''[[begins->wen5]]'']]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:red)+(background:yellow))From beach to dune to scrub to (link: 'wood')[wood They come to a river & just as she’s closing in he transforms into a fish the current of the river doubling his (link: 'speed')[speed Gnashing at empty air she transforms into an otter & continues the (link: 'chase')[chase At the bend of the river he leaps out of the water & turns into a blackbird so she transforms from otter to hawk flexing her (link: 'talons')[talons Exhausted running on empty in a last ditch attempt to foil the great witch Ceridwen he dives into a field & transforms into a single grain of (link: 'corn')[corn But Ceridwen was a wily goddess witch she just laughed became a hen got to gobbling grain & despite no longer being $stupid or $intelligent the boy came to an (link: 'end')[end But then a month or so later she was late & because //''magic''// It was the boy reborn so she vowed to kill him again on his (link: 'rebirth')[rebirth But once born he was just absolutely super gorgeous & she couldn’t bring herself to kill him so she put him in a coracle in the sea as the tide was going (link: 'out')[out He later washed up on the shore in a seaside village somewhere in Wales & became a very famous Welsh poet in the 6th Century called (link: 'Taliesin')[Taliesin & breathhhhhhhhhhh Sorry that was so ''[[long!->beach]]'']]]]]]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan)+(background:white))Poe: What do u want to do now? (link: 'Eat more sandwiches')[Ur already full but take another bite, it's crunchy. Ur mouth is now filled with bread, lettuce & sand grits] (link: 'Go see Chelle on the rocks')[Poe puts zer hand out to help u up u brush sand from ur swimming bottoms & notice four valleys where ur bums had been sat in the ''[[sand->rocks]]'']

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan)+(background:grey))ON THE ROCKS (link: 'Agrimony')[Agrimony - an SD card on a chain around his neck contains only one file a jpg of Bigfoot the hide & seek champion of the visible spectrum, leshy of the 20th Century -] & (link: 'Ban')[Ban - loose fitting cropped shirt with an oyster shell print, u kneel beside them & Ban points out a grey-green shore crab they’ve been watching slow scuttle on the pools floor -] are here too squatting by a deep rock pool big enough for a couple of people to get (link: 'in')[in Ban says: I spent so much time rock pooling when I was a kid it was a rare moment of freedom to just be off on the rocks looking into these wet holes teeming with life & was obvs erotic for (link: 'that')[that This pool is sooo perfect I’d like to shoot a little intro to the video here a preamble sort of ''[[thing->rocks1]]'']]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan)+(background:grey))The three of u dip in the pool splashing water at each other Stopping & starting for angles (link: 'but')[but luckily It’s fun & silly splashing each other & hard to be self-conscious when ur visions blurred from salt in ur (link: 'eyes')[eyes Now drying on the rocks in the sun lots of close-ups of bodies & the surface of the water & (link: 'Anemones')[ultimate arsehole symbol of the sea] (link: 'Some starfish')[one with 8 legs instead of 5] (link: 'Crabs')[the size of ur fingernail lime & see-through like sea-smooth glass] (link: 'Blenny')[Blue-black fish that could be an eel the size of ur thumb u touch it & it darts up the rock] (link: 'Seaweed')[Purple carrageen & black-bean bladder wrack] Chelle: Check out the luminous slime mould on that rock there She’s beaming it’s adorable The slime mould snot splattered by a sea-sprites sneeze on a spray of rock bound ''[[limpets->rocks2]]'']]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan)+(background:grey))U carry water in the cup of two hands & dribble it on Agrimony’s chest Poe straddling dips down to lick his seasalted scars Agrimony’s lost in pleasure We finish the scene laughing playful & walk away the three of us hold (link: 'hands')[hands On the third take ''[[though->rocks3]]'']

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan)+(background:grey))There’s a (link: 'man')[man He’s standing a little distance (link: 'off')[off Just (link: 'standing')[standing But he starts to come (link: 'closer')[closer ''//[[U point him out->point]]//'' ''//[[U hurry everyone up to move on->move]]//'']]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan)+(background:grey))Ban strides towards (link: 'him')[him They move so quick across the (link: 'rocks')[rocks Ur all silent watching this play (link: 'out')[out U can’t hear what's said over the (link: 'surf')[surf Ban’s hands on their hips as they speak (link: '&')[now they point back up the beach The wind carries his words to u as he turns to leave: “Free fucking country” & it’s all u need to hear to know how ''[[that went->cheer]]'']]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan)+(background:grey))U all clock him now & all (link: 'roll eyes')[roll eyes Ur all packing up (link: 'bits')[bits Tripod Towels Water (link: 'bottles')[bottles Ur all kinda ambling away the guy getting closer (link: 'across the rocks')[across the rocks Agrimony stops (link: '& turns around')[& A towel across his shoulders he starts singing the chorus to The Misfits’ ‘Where Eagles Dare’ at (link: 'the stalker')[the stalker: //I ain’t no goddamn son of a bitch U better think about it baby I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch U better think about it, baby I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch U better think about it, baby I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch U better think about it, baby I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch U better think about it, baby, ''[[baby!->cheer]]''//]]]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:white)+(background:grey))U cheer as he walks away & remember how much u always did hate the ''[[beach->memory]]''

(text-style:"blurrier","expand","buoy")[A MEMORY (link: '≈')[been doing these things for a while but this time it works (link: '≈')[On ur knees at an altar of glasses jamjars a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles mug filled to the brim with water & a single white candle (link: '≈')[A resin bubbling on charcoal thick smoke blooms u coat ur skin in it (link: '≈')[Ur calling in ur gender dissident ancestors those NOT who they were told to be who couldn’t be (link: '≈')[The letters FM come in (link: '≈')[Two names (link: '≈')[F - Felicity / Fell (link: '≈')[M - Mary (link: '≈')[U blur ur vision they speak in the haze (link: '≈')[A bright light yellow orange red mists & two stood waiting (link: 'Mary wants to teach u some things about living well')[how to walk well Say plz when u need Say thanks when u take Say sorry when u get it wrong Face to face with all u meet animal plant mineral ghost spirit god don’t presume] (link: 'Fell wants to teach u some things about dying well')[these are simple but harder to summarise Something about attending to all deaths lived through How stopping change in its tracks is like murder on any scale Something about not running away ''[[Ur mind is pulled back to the beach->men]]'']]]]]]]]]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:orange))Men are suddenly everywhere the beach filled they're in groups drinking cooking meat on disposable BBQ’s from Co-Op & sure ur a bunch of cuties secretly making porn out here but none of it is for them they can join ur OnlyFans (if that’s still a thing when ur reading this) tip ur Venmo’s enjoy our content but their pleasure is a by-product effluent ur all hot because ur hot because u've had to love urselves & ur here because ur friends & lovers trying to make hot stuff for queers that haven’t seen themselves in porn (link: 'before')[before It’s just kinda safer with all these men around if u jump in the water get ur waist below the water u hate ''[[the fucking beach->sea]]'']

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:navy))Water shines around u crisping skin & ur thinking u better reapply SPF 50 when u get out & ur treading water (link: 'watching')[watching the horizon] (link: 'then')[then Something is wrapped around (link: 'ur foot')[ur foot ''//[[U stop treading water->seaweed]]//'' ''//[[U thrash forwards to get away->monster]]//'']]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:navy))Legs still U paddle with arms slowly away & feel something slip losing its grip it gave up caring or u hope that’s ''[[what->seaweed1]]''

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:navy))But u don’t (link: 'get away')[u pull forwards & whatever’s holding u pulls u back (link: 'with equal force')[ Ur head goes under (link: 'eyes sting')[ Blind Throat Closes on ''[[salt->monster1]]'']]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:navy))Ur heart slows as u swim out into (link: 'the bay')[the bay It's calm out (link: 'here')[here Slow sound of surf crashing back on the (link: 'beach')[beach As u swim back u notice everything seems (link: 'quieter')[quieter Like the spike of momentum has (link: 'levelled out')[levelled out U clamber across sun-hot (link: 'rocks')[rocks Ur toes tangle in a (link: 'wet')[slimy wig of black egged (link: 'bladder wrack')[bladder wrack As u look down the eggs are pupils looking back at (link: 'u')[u There's recognition in the mess of black-green eyeballs at (link: 'ur feet')[ur feet It goes (link: 'both ways')[both ways U see urself in it ur face a thousand times over it's got ur hair ur dimples spread across the rocks u can't help urself u start laughing & too many iterations of u stare (link: 'back')[back ''[[whatever that was weird->fire]]'']]]]]]]]]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:black))(link: 'The moon is up now')[Ur all sat round a fire made of quick burning driftwood & dessicated oarweed strands It flares bright glows Poe adds another log (link: 'flares again')[ Chelle & Agrimony are off up the beach the slow moving lump of them in the sulphur moonlight U Poe & Ban are all talking about death U’ve all lost someone u've all lost many things ''//[[It’s a bit too close to home so u say ur going to pee & walk towards the sea with the moon dancing on it (choose this option to avoid stuff about grief, suicide & transphobia)->moon9]]//'' ''//[[U lean towards the fire the death chat stings but u have something u want to share->fire1]]//'']]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan)+(background:purple))The concepts of hands or fingers or skin suddenly seem so (link: 'small')[small The concept of sound as discrete from (link: 'movement')[movement Rootedness & stability (link: 'unmoor')[ Of up & of down & the value judgements they (link: 'contain')[contain Right now ur (link: 'head')[head (that’s kinda part of the problem here u don’t technically have a head anymore like if there ever truly was a CENTRE of thought there is now more of a (link: 'MELTED BUTTERY SPREAD')[MELTED BUTTERY SPREAD (but even that doesn’t cut it cos it’s such a (link: '2D metaphor')[2D metaphor (even the concept of thought is so pale now cos literally EVERYTHING is moving & meaning & choosing & responding & MAKING)))]]] is reeling & a lot of this is kinda oppositional to what u felt before & these are new feels settling in into (link: 'what?')[(U wanted to say ‘body’ but then a piece of u broke off & was caught up in the thrum of the all-around & that’s u too ur distributed all over these spindles)] It might not even make MORE sense it might just be u don’t NEED to make ''[[sense of it->monster2]]'']]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan)+(background:purple))Hot midday light feeds the green of u A shadow slows the meal & now u see urself U never died cos here u are But the recognition only goes one way The girl on the rocks dripping the all-around onto ur many surfaces doesn’t see herself in u there’s been a (link: 'split')[split U thought maybe u’d died in the all-around caught in the seaweed drowned But u see now u’ve bifurcated One of u is now a culture a cohabiting of algae & the other is (link: 'the old u')[the no-longer u Ur jealous of ur free movement then chide urself for the thought as that piece of u rides away in the all-around & now u feel sorry for the old u how horizontally bound she is Ur looking back at this smaller u loom over u U are grief as the smaller ''[[u walks away->fire9]]'']]

(link: 'So yeah, ur now seaweed')[ (prompt: "Describe attuning to ur new state:", "e.g. Freaking the fuck out") ''[[Cool, yeah that makes a lot of sense->fire91]]'']

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:black))(link: 'The moon is up now')[U watch sparks in the distance & enter a nesting of moist egg wrack on a rock close by to eavesdrop/enjoy urself & ur friends once again (link: 'is this the last time maybe?')[They’re all sat round a fire made of quick burning driftwood & dessicated parts of u It flares bright glows Poe adds another log (link: 'flares again')[ Chelle & Agrimony are off up the beach the slow moving lump of them in the sulphur moonlight The old u, Poe & Ban are all talking about death (link: 'U’ve all lost someone')[Did u just lose everyone? ''//[[It’s a bit too close to home so u drift from sugar kelp to sea lettuce towards the sea & the moon (choose this option to avoid stuff about grief, suicide & transphobia)->moon]]//'' ''//[[U lean into a dried husk of oarweed piled beside the old body of u & the fire the death chat stings but in that way where u want to know more of what that sting consists->death]]//'']]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan))Leaving the death chat behind for now (link: 'u walk')[. Ur at the edge of the (link: 'surf')[surf. Ur feet bristle in the cold sea as each wave rolls towards (link: 'u')[u. U remember one of ur fave (link: 'Scuzz Nymph shoots')[shoots: A waterfall carved out a hole in rock Poe had based the story on p’ansori the Korean singing tradition where singers would spend long periods of time upwards of 100 days singing into/at/against/with a waterfall tearing open their vocal chords to meet the waterwall revealing the voices inside revealing the voices inside their voices revealing the voices inside falling water between worlds revealing all (link: 'voices in everything')[ In ur film a lone figure screamed into the waterfall in the moonlight as hands writhed over their body a kinda water-sprite orgy It was pretty schlocky Didn’t quite come off with the brevity u’d all hoped for but it was a whole lot of fun (link: 'to shoot')[ (link: 'U start whining')[eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee A wave crashes at ur feet u let ur voice rise break & crack inside the crash Ur throat is hurting U push through Another wave Something in the waves is inside (link: 'ur mouth')[ U notice ur up to ur thighs in the sea now The thing in ur throat pulling u out It wants to say hello U get a sense of how busy this stretch is Saturated All manner dwell here The slither of a fish about ur ankles Something huge & old but very now & here something like wet leather touches ur cheek ''//[[U hear urself starting to speak about death back at the fire & want to know what u'll say->death2]]//'' ''//[[U notice a rock that's more than a rock & follow the thread->moon2]]//'']]]]]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:black))''[[Even though ur seaweed u want to be good to urself so head for the sea after all (choose this option to avoid the following bits on grief, suicide & transphobia)->moon]]'' (link: 'Ban lost both their parents')[Ban They talk about feeling completely unmoored like they’re a buoy without anchor adrift They talk about how small they feel but also how as much as they hate to say it they’ve also felt a kind of freedom since their parents passing a lightness like they can finally just be themselves no ones there to pass judgement on their choices other than themselves they are a body on a rock tumbling through space in charge of themself] (link: 'Poe lost a close friend last year to suicide')[Poe Ze want to believe ze’s friend has finally found peace Tears stream voice cracks Poe speaks into the fire getting messy feels & cosmologies out their body Ze talks about how ze & a friend of ze’s performed a dance ritual to mark their mutual friends passing & how it was tender & full of fury & kinda hilarious with bits of slapstick in there too & at one point in the ritual ze saw the friend watching they were in the space of the dance so close but also far off too like they could see it but didn’t quite register it & so ze’ve been doing small solo pieces just for their friend once a month since then & have noticed a growing recognition a brighter orange light around them each time & how they think there’s a direct relationship between grieving the work we do there as the ones who grieve & the health of those we grieve for their health once they’re dead There’s a silence for what feels like eternity & ur all staring into the miniature city of embers u sit around ears travel through arrhythmic surf & popping hiss of moisture leaving wood as it burns] ''[[What's eating u Wen?->death2]]''

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan))Leaving the death chat behind for now (link: 'u walk')[. Ur at the edge of the (link: 'surf')[surf. Ur feet bristle in the cold sea as each wave rolls over (link: 'u')[u. U remember one of ur fave (link: 'Scuzz Nymph shoots')[shoots: A waterfall carved out a hole in rock Poe had based the story on p’ansori the Korean singing tradition where singers would spend long periods of time upwards of 100 days singing into/at/against/with a waterfall tearing open their vocal chords to meet the waterwall revealing the voices inside revealing the voices inside their voices revealing the voices inside falling water between worlds revealing all (link: 'voices in everything')[ In ur film a lone figure screamed into the waterfall in the moonlight as hands writhed over their body a kinda water-sprite orgy It was pretty schlocky Didn’t quite come off with the brevity hoped for but was a whole lot of fun (link: 'to shoot')[ (link: 'U start whining')[eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee A wave crashes at ur feet u let ur voice rise inside the crash Ur throat is hurting U push through Another wave Something grows Something in the waves is inside (link: 'ur mouth')[ U notice ur up to ur thighs in the sea now The thing in ur throat pulling u out It says hello U get a sense of how busy this stretch is Saturated So many dwell here The slither of a fish about ur ankles Something huge & old but very now & here something like wet leather touches ''[[ur cheek->fire2]]'']]]]]]]]

''[[U realise this is too close to home make ur excuses & head for the sea (choose this option to avoid the following bits about grief, suicide & transphobia)->moon9]]'' (enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:black))(link: 'Ban lost both their parents')[Ban They talk about feeling completely unmoored like they’re a buoy without anchor adrift They talk about how small they feel but also how as much as they hate to say it they’ve also felt a kind of freedom since their parents passing a lightness like they can finally just be themselves no ones there to pass judgement on their choices other than themselves they are a body on a rock tumbling through space in charge of themself] (link: 'Poe lost a close friend last year to suicide')[Poe Ze want to believe ze’s friend has finally found peace But as much as it pains zem to say it ze aren’t sure they have Tears stream voice cracking as Poe speaks into the fire getting these messy feels & cosmologies out their body Ze talks about how ze & a friend of ze’s performed a dance ritual to mark their mutual friends passing & how it was tender & full of fury & kinda hilarious with bits of slapstick in there too & at one point in the ritual ze saw the friend watching they were in the space of the dance so close but also far off too like they could see it but didn’t quite register it & so ze’ve been doing small solo pieces just for their friend once a month since then & have noticed a growing recognition a brighter orange light around them each time & how they think there’s a direct relationship between grieving the work we do there as the ones who grieve & the health of those we grieve for their health once they’re dead There’s a silence for what feels like eternity & ur all staring into the miniature city of embers u sit around ears travel through arrhythmic surf & popping hiss of moisture leaving wood as it burns ''[[U ok Wen?->fire2]]'']

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:black))U hear ur self say: (link: 'I’m grieving myself')[I’m grieving myself (& u have never spoken more true words)] The embers of the fire crackle (link: 'into that')[ I’m gonna put this ineptly it's a rant right so u know go easy on me but I’ve been breathing around the edge of this for a while It’s not just like boyhood though that’s kind of part of it & it’s not just the being rejected by family & grieving though the wildest sci-fi to me is YouTube videos of parents vehemently accepting their trans kids It’s less specific it’s for the lack of ok-ness into which I entered this world I’m grieving for there not being a place for me here I know we’re literally on this beach making worlds for ourselves & all queers who need it But I grieve for how much suffering we’ve had to endure to get here It’s capitalism it’s industrialisation it’s colonialism & they've just seriously fucked relationships with otherness of any kind making up what that means on the spot Like so many indigenous communities had places for the weirdos for the queers for the trans in their community not on it's fringes I’m rosy tinting this sure but if u started to see dead people there was like a trajectory for u like go see this person they’ll train u up ur special not SHUT UR MOUTH TAKE THESE STAY PUT DON’T EXCEED OUR DEFINITION OF PERSONHOOD All our lives would look so different in another time another place & at the same time we’re so lucky because we probs wouldn’t have found each other without the internet without this gay ass queer indie porn world & I’m so grateful so thankful for that to be alive right now with you all But I grieve Was it really necessary for us to be made to feel so unwelcome here so superfluous so ''[[EXTRA->fire3]]'']

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:black))U hear ur self say: (link: 'I’m grieving myself')[I’m grieving myself (& from ur vantage point on the rock looking back at this u-not-u u know u have never spoken more truer words)] The embers of the fire crackle (link: 'into that')[ The u-not-u: I’m gonna put this ineptly but I’ve been breathing around the edge of this for a while It’s not just like boyhood though that’s kind of part of it & it’s not just the being rejected by family & grieving though the wildest sci-fi to me is YouTube videos of parents vehemently accepting their trans kids It’s less specific it’s for the lack of ok-ness into which I entered this world I’m grieving for there not being a place for me here I know we’re literally on this beach making worlds for ourselves & all queers who need it But I grieve for how much suffering we’ve had to endure to get here It’s capitalism it’s industrialisation it’s colonialism & they've just seriously fucked relationships with otherness of any kind making up what that means on the spot Like so many indigenous communities had places for the weirdos for the queers for the trans in their community not on it's fringes I’m rosy tinting this sure but if u started to see dead people there was like a trajectory for u like go see this person they’ll train u up ur special not SHUT UR MOUTH TAKE THESE STAY PUT DON’T EXCEED OUR DEFINITION OF PERSONHOOD All our lives would look so different in another time another place & at the same time we’re so lucky because we probs wouldn’t have found each other without the internet without this gay ass queer indie porn world & I’m so grateful so thankful for that to be alive right now with you all But I grieve Was it really necessary for us to be made to feel so unwelcome here so superfluous so ''[[EXTRA->death3]]'']

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:black))& into the crackling lull that follows Ban (link: 'says:')[says: I kinda like being (link: 'extra')[extra & if u had vocal chords that were ur own still u'd have laughed with (link: 'everyone')[everyone & as they start to sing u return to (link: 'urselves')[urselves There are many of u now across this cove U register it as inaccurate to ascribe ownership to the many of u Ur in a process of learning ur limits but probably always will be U also know (link: 'others dwell here too')[others dwell here Parts & parcels of the many dead Spirits & (link: 'a god/ess')[a GOD/X Nothing introduces itself it’s not like a counsel but u pass a rock stretch in black nests of egg wrack (link: 'the rock is more')[so much more Tangling up in ripe gutweed & the wet sucking sand is the tip of a finger u follow the line & the hand it belongs to is too big & don't go further than the wrist because the rest of it is painful searing more than more than (link: 'more')[ Ghosts of skate & mackerel in the waves The u that was a u is losing itself & becoming otherwise a lot of things actually U feel time reorganise round u have no metabolic surplus u now have different choices U slow right down u can feel something coming some/things ur going to need a lot of ''[[energy for->menagain]]'']]]]]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:purple))(link: 'The men come back')[U hear them coming down the dunes they laugh so loudly Obvs come straight for the fire They ask if they can join but it’s not really a question One of them says: “Free country” & it all goes (link: 'sour')[quickly An arm around Poe’s waist: What the fuck u doing no The arm: Wow just making friends & now there’s an argument about who has the right to be here who’s beach this is & the words (link: 'FREE COUNTRY')[make it clear who this is free for They misgender Agrimony & misgender Ban & they’re told to leave but one grabs a bottle (link: 'smashes it on a rock')[ U know all this from ur position in the egg wrack on the rocks & pull moisture from the all-around into everything u are on this beach ''//[[& u enter u-not-u so brief & push towards getting the SCUZZ NYMPHS to leave chance to save ur friends->spell9]]//'' ''//[[& u enter u-not-u so brief & push towards getting the SCUZZ NYMPHS to fight->fight9]]//'']]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan))There are many of u now across this cove U register it as inaccurate to ascribe ownership to the many of u Ur in a process of learning ur limits but also always will be U also know many (link: 'others dwell here too')[dwell here Parts & parcels of the many dead Spirits & (link: 'a god/ess')[a GOD/X Nothing introduces itself it’s not like a counsel but that rock U stretch in black nests of egg wrack (link: 'the rock is more')[so much more Tangling up in ripe gutweed & the wet sucking sand is the tip of a finger u follow the line & the hand it belongs to is too big & don't go further than the wrist because the rest of it is painful searing more than more than but u know ur not in (link: 'danger')[danger Ghosts of skate & mackerel in the waves The u that was a u is losing itself & becoming otherwise a lot of things actually U feel time reorganise round u have no metabolic surplus u now have different choices U slow right down u can feel something coming some/things ur going to need help & a lot of ''[[energy for->menagain]]'']]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:black))& into the crackling lull that follows (link: 'Ban says:')[Ban says: I kinda like being extra & the pitch of ur voices raise & u sing the choruses of songs u all know & hum the other parts & u spit on the fire & ask to be ''[[cleansed->menagain1]]'']

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:purple)+(background:cyan))The thought passes through that choice has left u now Ur inside the it of whatever this is But that isn’t quite true Like jellyfish can’t choose their route What u can (link: 'choose')[choose is how quick or slow u go u move outward but it’s ur own pace u move with Fingers curl anchor inside each other Ur a circuit not quite a circle Shape isn’t stable undulating cell wall things come in things go (link: 'out')[out Sand trembles vibrating grains (link: 'Men')[The toxins laughing loud round the fire are a microcosm of the suffering u’ve sustained at the hands of men power patriarchy capitalism colonialism just as u the all inside this cell wall seaweed are a microcosm to the men round the fire for every time in their lives some special part of them wasn’t shown love taught difference was deserving of carelessness ''[[The word warpgasm moves in the water of u->spell91]]'']]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:red)+(background:black))The toxins laughing loud round the fire are a microcosm of the suffering u’ve all sustained at the hands of men power patriarchy capitalism colonialism just as u all inside this cell wall seaweed weaves across the surfaces of skin are a microcosm to the men round the fire for every time in their lives some special part of them wasn’t shown love taught difference deserved carelessness The word ''[[warpgasm->fight91]]'' moves in the water of u

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:purple)+(background:cyan))(link: 'Warpgasm:')[the cell wall of u all bulges the SCUZZ NYMPHS at ur back scream the scream u scream too Bits of u all breaking off Ur not one with the NYMPHS & that's ur strength (link: 'They lend u them & u them u')[swapmeat Agrimony’s hair grows up in the wind his ponytails two tumbling (link: 'weeds')[weeds A fingernail of u-not-u comes loose and four fingers grow from either side of it & it scurries after Agrimony’s (link: 'tails')[tails Poe foaming at the mouth ze’s spittle bubbles pooling on the sand into glistening semi-solid (link: 'spawn')[SPAWN Ban have a lot of limbs some hang loose and limp some snake off through the sand towards (link: 'the men')[the men They've stopped laughing The god u felt is now a Thornback Ray buried beneath sand the size of the beach The fire has gone & a hole grows where it was ''//[[Do u want to tear them apart?->tear]]//'' ''//[[Or teach them humility?->humility]]//'']]]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan)+(background:purple))Ban’s limbs have bones now no bones now bones again Five of their many jointed snakes emerge at once (link: 'from the sand &')[break the left ankle of each of the men Like a computer game glitch they fall to the floor (link: 'as one')[some shout one gurgling none have words Poe’s spittle spawn gags the loud ones screams he’s now rolling down the beach towards the wet sand & (link: 'fading tide')[crashing waves (link: 'U-not-u')[Fingernail crabs pull out the tongue of another (link: 'Agrimony’s')[Ponytails lump into the chest of two others winding them There’s now the lull of the surf disappearing & the abstracted remnants of the polytonal SCUZZ chants burbling & the low groans of (link: 'men suffering')[toxins both $stupid & $intelligent The god that lays beneath the sand & speaks through the hole where the fire used to (link: 'be')[be says I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE & u know these men will not die well here & that is on u this is not (link: 'a perfect ending')[clean cleaning has victims too None of them is conscious all have limbs in angles they shouldn't be some bone exposed sand blood-stained U cradle each of them a baby one last time as u curl thick tendrils of oarweed nets of carageen & dulse around them roll them to the sand god’s (link: 'mouth')[mouth U drop them in (link: 'without ceremony')[but know u'll see them again nothing really leaves & u don't hear them ''[[land->end]]'']]]]]]]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan))U teach them all a lesson their mouths fill with brine tongues fork & fork again slick cummy mess that sticks to everything it touches green brown black purple yellow forked & forked again & hairy & thin as paper wide as a book flapping about inside their mouths the moment any judgements on others are made another fork is (link: 'made')[made Look at yourself before anyone else shall be the whole of ur law going forth (link: 'u say')[in their heads They run (link: 'from this beach')[ It's anticlimatic but then hexes kinda are & that's the point Dissipate the hate Return to ''[[sender->end2]]'']]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:navy)+(background:yellow))The hole/portal/mouth is sand again The sun rising hasn't quite reached the many holdfasts & light-hungry algae of u a few hours before the beach gets anything like warm The tide is almost all the way in now U keep hoping this next wave will do it soaking the towels no-longer-u & ur friends are sat on Wash away the sand & the blood from their feet the blood from the sand the still dry bits of u spreading out from their spot either side a curve the full length of the beach But it ''[[never quite does->end1]]''

Thank u for (link: 'playing')[playing. Now go eat that vegan ice cream ASAP Written by Sammy Paloma, 2021 Soundtrack by Sarahsson, go check her music out, I love her, she's a genius & pure angel of eggwrack: https://soundcloud.com/sarahsson Made as part of //Unctuous between fingers//, a project by Bryony Gillard, supported by Arts Council England. Many thanks to Bryony for the invite & support with making this, & for deepening my love of seaweed on so many levels. If u didn't come across this game through her project I'd highly recommend u dive into the website for a whole host of seaweed-focussed goodness: https://www.unctuousbetweenfingers.co.uk/ A huge thank u to uma breakdown for being an absolute code/Twine lifesaver babe. Their own work gives me so much life, go check them out ASAP: https://umabreakdown.neocities.org/games.html (text-style:"blur")[//''Buy flowers for the dead of u xoxoxoxox''//]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:navy)+(background:yellow))The sun rising hasn't quite reached the many holdfasts & light-hungry algae of u a few hours before the beach gets anything like warm The tide is almost all the way in now U keep hoping this next wave will do it soaking the towels no-longer-u & ur friends are sat on wash away the sand from their feet bring back with water the still dry bits of u spreading out from their spot either side a curve the full length of the beach But it never quite does ''[[U need the dead of u as much as they need u->end1]]''

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:purple))(link: 'Warpgasm:')[the cell wall of u all bulges the SCUZZ NYMPHS at ur back scream the scream u scream too Bits of u all breaking off Ur not one with the NYMPHS & that's ur strength (link: 'They lend u them & u them u')[swapmeat Agrimony’s hair grows up in the wind his ponytails two tumbling (link: 'weeds')[weeds A fingernail of u-not-u comes loose and four fingers grow from either side of it & it scurries after Agrimony’s (link: 'tails')[tails Poe foaming at the mouth ze’s spittle bubbles pooling on the sand into glistening semi-solid (link: 'spawn')[SPAWN Ban have a lot of limbs some hang loose and limp some snake off through the sand towards (link: 'the men')[the men They have stopped laughing The god u felt is now a Thornback Ray buried beneath sand the size of the beach The fire has gone & a hole grows where it was ''//[[U them apart->fight92]]//'' ''//[[U teach them humility->humility]]//'']]]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:red)+(background:yellow))Ban’s limbs have bones now no bones now bones again Five of their many jointed snakes emerge at once (link: 'from the sand &')[break the left ankle of each of the men Like a computer game glitch they fall to the floor (link: 'as one')[some shout one gurgling none speak words Poe’s spittle spawn gags the loud ones screams he’s now rolling down the beach towards the wet sand & (link: 'fading tide')[crashing waves (link: 'U-not-u')[Fingernail crabs pull out the tongue of another (link: 'Agrimony’s')[Ponytails lump into the chest of two others winding them There’s now the lull of the surf disappearing & the abstracted remnants of the polytonal SCUZZ chants burble & the low groans of (link: 'men suffering')[toxins both $stupid & $intelligent The god that lays beneath the sand & speaks through the hole where the fire used to (link: 'be')[be says I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE & u know these men will not die well here & that is on u this is not (link: 'a perfect ending')[clean cleaning is messy too None of them is conscious all have limbs at angles they shouldn't be some bone exposed blood stained sand U cradle each a baby one last time curl thick tendrils of oarweed nets of carageen & dulse around them roll them to the sand god’s (link: 'mouth')[mouth U drop them in (link: 'without ceremony')[but know u'll see them again nothing really leaves & don't hear them ''[[land->end]]'']]]]]]]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:purple))(link: 'But then the men come back')[U hear them coming down the dunes they laugh so loud Obvs come straight for the fire They ask if they can join but it’s not really a question One of them says: “Free country” & it all goes (link: 'sour')[quickly An arm around Poe’s waist: What the fuck u doing no The arm: Wow just making friends & now there’s an argument about who has the right to be here who’s beach this is & the words (link: 'FREE COUNTRY')[make it clear who this is free for They misgender Agrimony & misgender Ban & they’re told to leave but one grabs a bottle (link: 'smashes it on a rock')[ ''//[[& Poe says: Have the fire we were going anyway->spell]]//'' ''//[[& a well of sadness in his voice Agrimony: We always have our violence->fight]]//'']]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:purple)+(background:cyan))U all get away The laughter follows but the men don’t Now out of sight u double back through dunes hide behind a rock that's more than a rock Agrimony(link: ' says:')[: Let’s hex the fuck out of the lot of them Hairy soft brown bangia attached to the rock caress ur arm In the orange moonlight this delicate seaweed is shaping Fronds form(link: ' words:')[: WE HELP Agrimony licks the seaweed & starts singing All ''[[join->spell1]]'']]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:purple))A song a scream in (link: 'all ur throats')[all Everything is so much more Ban’s limbs have bones now no bones now bones again they snake fast Five many jointed bits emerge at once (link: 'from the sand &')[break the left ankle of each of the men Like a computer game glitch they fall to the floor (link: 'as one')[some shout one gurgling none have words Poe’s mucousal spittle spawn gags the loud ones screams he’s now rolling down the beach towards the wet sand & (link: 'fading tide')[crashing waves (link: 'Ur')[Fingernail crabs pull out the tongue of another (link: 'Agrimony’s')[Ponytails lump into the chest of two others winding them The slaps of oarweed against bare skin bind them down choke bigotry Everything is (link: 'joining in')[joined There’s now the lull of the surf disappearing & the abstracted remnants of ur polytonal SCUZZ chant burbling & the low groans of (link: 'men suffering')[toxins both $stupid & $intelligent A god that lays beneath the sand & speaks through the hole where the fire used to (link: 'be')[be says I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE & u know these men will not die well tonight & that is on u this is not (link: 'a perfect ending')[clean cleaning has victims too None of them is conscious all have limbs at angles they shouldn't be some bone exposed blood stained sand U cradle each of them a baby one last time in nets of carageen & dulse roll them to the sand god’s (link: 'mouth')[mouth U drop them in (link: 'without ceremony')[& don't hear them ''[[land->end3]]'']]]]]]]]]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:purple)+(background:cyan))Ur in a cave & purple & pink light bounces on wet rocks & a spring bubbles in the floor & clear sulphurous water cascades down a calcium fountain of its own (link: 'making')[making & ur back on the beach with ur friends some of who are also (link: 'lovers')[lovers & tendrilled seaweed spreading over Agrimony’s face like war paint or bathed in blood of ''[[battle->spell2]]'']]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:purple)+(background:cyan))Ur a circuit not quite circle Shape isn’t stable undulating cell wall things come in things go out Sand trembles vibrate (link: 'grains')[grains The toxins laughing loud round the fire are a microcosm of the suffering u’ve all sustained at the hands of men power patriarchy capitalism colonialism just as u all inside this cell wall seaweed woven across surface of ur skin a microcosm to the men round the fire for every time in their lives some special part of them wasn’t shown love taught difference deserves carelessness The word ''[[warpgasm moves in u->spell3]]'']

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:purple)+(background:cyan))(link: 'Warpgasm:')[the cell wall of u all bulges Ur THE SCUZZ NYMPHS & u scream the scream Bits of u all breaking off Ur not one NYMPH & that's ur (link: 'strength')[swapmeat Agrimony’s hair grows up in the wind his ponytails two tumbling (link: 'weeds')[weeds A fingernail of urs comes loose and four fingers grow from it & it scurries after Agrimony’s (link: 'tails')[tails Poe foaming at the mouth ze’s spittle bubbles pooling on the sand into glistening semi-solid (link: 'spawn')[SPAWN Ban have a lot of limbs some hang loose and limp some snake off through the sand towards (link: 'the men')[the men They have stopped laughing The god beneath sand the size of the beach is a Thornback Ray The fire has gone & a hole grows where it was ''//[[U them apart->fight]]//'' ''//[[U teach them humility->humility1]]//'']]]]]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:cyan))The swirl of u ur scream & ur song teaches them all a lesson their mouths fill with brine tongues fork & fork again slick cummy mess that sticks to everything it touches green brown black purple yellow forked & forked again & hairy & thin as paper wide as a book flapping about inside their mouths the moment any judgements on others are made another forks (link: 'made')[made Look at yourself before anyone else shall be the whole of ur law going forth (link: 'u say')[in their heads They run (link: 'from this beach')[ It's anticlimatic but then hexes kinda are & that's the point Dissipate the hate Return to ''[[sender->end3]]'']]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:yellow)+(background:purple))Ban: Wish we’d started another fire Ur all shivering sat around the hole/portal/mouth now sand again The sun rising behind ur backs u have a few hours before the beach gets anything close to warm The tide is almost all the way in now U keep thinking this next wave will reach u Soaking the towel ur sat on wash away the sand & the blood from ur feet their death on ur hands But it never quite does ''[[U need the dead of u as much as they need u->end1]]''

song1: ./audio/soundtrack.mp3