The World's Unluckiest Casino

<<silently>> <<set $moneyint = random(25,100)>> <<set $money = 0>> <<endsilently>> The World's Unluckiest Casino by Willy Willy A Twiny Jam Entry Welcome to the World's Unluckiest Casino! Time to play and lose money! You have $<<print $moneyint>>. What would you like to play? [[Sheep Roulette]] [[Cheese Wheel of Fortune]] [[Ruby Doodie Slots]] [[I am done playing for tonight.]]

<<print either ("The baaattle rages on!", "Step right up! Don't be sheepish.", "Wool you win?")>> <<set $gamereward = random(-20,20)>><<if $money neq 0 >> <<set $money = $money + $gamereward>><<else>> <<set $money = $moneyint + $gamereward>> <<endif>><<if $gamereward <= 0 and $money > 0>><<set $lostreward = -1*$gamereward>> You lost $<<print $lostreward>>! You now have $<<print $money>>. [[Keep playing|Play Again]] <<endif>> <<if $gamereward > 0 and $money >0 >>You win $<<print $gamereward>>! You now have $<<print $money>>. [[Keep playing|Play Again]] <<endif>><<if $money <= 0 >><<set $lostreward = -1*$gamereward>> You lost $<<print $lostreward>>! You've lost all your money! Several ravenous sheep kick your ass and toss you out of the casino.<<endif>>

<<if $money eq 0>> <<set $money = $moneyint>><<endif>> <<if $money >= 150>>Before you can leave, casino security suddenly materializes and plummets you to death for cheating.<<endif>> <<if $money < 150 and $money >= 80>>As you leave the casino, a shark suddenly materializes and eats your face.<<endif>> <<if $money < 80 and $money >= 40>>As you leave the casino, a unicorn suddenly materializes and impales you with rainbows.<<endif>> <<if $money < 40 and $money >= 1>>As you leave the casino, a meteor suddenly materializes and sends you to its celestial brethren.<<endif>>

Welcome to the World's Unluckiest Casino! Time to play and lose money! You have $<<print $money>>. What would you like to play? [[Sheep Roulette]] [[Cheese Wheel of Fortune]] [[Ruby Doodie Slots]] [[I am done playing for tonight.]]

<<print either ("This game stinks sometimes!", "Are you the cheez neez?", "Cheese please!")>> <<set $gamereward = random(-20,3)>><<if $money neq 0 >> <<set $money = $money + $gamereward>><<else>> <<set $money = $moneyint + $gamereward>> <<endif>><<if $gamereward <= 0 and $money > 0>><<set $lostreward = -1*$gamereward>> You lost $<<print $lostreward>>! You now have $<<print $money>>. [[Keep playing|Play Again]] <<endif>> <<if $gamereward > 0 and $money >0 >>You win $<<print $gamereward>>! You now have $<<print $money>>. [[Keep playing|Play Again]] <<endif>><<if $money <= 0 >><<set $lostreward = -1*$gamereward>> You lost $<<print $lostreward>>! You've lost all your money! Several cheese pirates abduct you and toss you overboard into an ocean of gravy and curds.<<endif>>

<<print either ("You strain feverishly at the slot machine.", "This game is shit.", "The slot machine is saying 'Winnie the Pooh' repeatedly, in a voice that sounds a lot like Hervé Villechaize.")>> <<set $gamereward = random(-5,15)>><<if $money neq 0 >> <<set $money = $money + $gamereward>><<else>> <<set $money = $moneyint + $gamereward>> <<endif>><<if $gamereward <= 0 and $money > 0>><<set $lostreward = -1*$gamereward>> You lost $<<print $lostreward>>! You now have $<<print $money>>. [[Keep playing|Play Again]] <<endif>> <<if $gamereward > 0 and $money >0 >>You win $<<print $gamereward>>! You now have $<<print $money>>. [[Keep playing|Play Again]] <<endif>><<if $money <= 0 >><<set $lostreward = -1*$gamereward>> You lost $<<print $lostreward>>! You've lost all your money! You are overcome by a violent fit of diarrhea that sends you spiraling out of the casino.<<endif>>