To put it simply,

I I feel like a [[girl]] trapped in a [[boy]]’s body, and I’ve felt that way ever since I was 4. - Leelah Alcorn

It was a name I loved, a name that rolled off the tongue with minimal effort. Lee. Lah. The ones that weren't close, my parents, called me by my [[real name|boy]]. The ones that were closer than that called me by my *real* name.

It was a name I hated. It was a name given to me that didn't give me anything; an identifier that didn't give identity. It's impossible to say it softly. To pronounce the name properly, you have to lash your tongue. Joshua. I [[refuse]] to be identified by such a horrid name.

II "When I was 14, I learned what [[transgender]] meant and cried of happiness...I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that [[God doesn’t make mistakes]], that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids...That won’t do anything but make them hate themselves. That’s exactly what it did to me." - Leelah Alcorn

III "When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. [[The longer you wait]], the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my [[16th birthday]], when I didn’t receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep." - Leelah Alcorn

IV "I formed a sort of a “fuck you” attitude towards my parents and came out as gay at school, thinking that maybe if I eased into coming out as trans it would be [[less of a shock]]. Although the reaction from my friends was positive, my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight [[christian]] boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted." - Leelah Alcorn

V "So they took me out of public school, took away my laptop and phone, and forbid me of getting on any sort of social media, completely [[isolating]] me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself. I was completely alone for [[5 months]]. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the [[cruelty]] of loneliness." - Leelah Alcorn

VI "I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s [[no way out|Part VII]]." - Leelah Alcorn

"That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s [[good enough for me|rest in peace]]."- Leelah Alcorn

"Conversion Therapy" is the most innocent name for a crime that creates the [[guilty]]. How can they tell me it's helping me? Telling me I'm sick, I'm fucked up, I'm delusional, I'm crazy...whatever that is, that's not "supportive". And only three states in this country have done something about it. I wonder how many parents have done something.

Timer (WIP): use the (live:) macro to change text on the same page, and use a variable that increases over time to represent various transgender statistics Background Image (concept): Tarnished Transgender flag that grows brighter as game continues? Would probably require some JavaScript integration. Otherwise, a simple background will do. Possibly Leelah's tumblr background, just the color in a gradient to black. Font (WIP): "Open Sans Condensed" from Google Web Fonts will work well. Integrated into CSS, but needs a line of HTML to work properly. This line: <link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Open+Sans+Condensed:300' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'> Some notes on how to present this game... "To Put it Simply" is an exploration of Leelah's suicide note, presented through the facts given about her life and death. It is an exploration of the hardships she endured and the emotions she felt while her parents and religion prevented her from being the one thing that would make her happy. This gam allows players to explore the connections between her life, her death, and what happened in between, and helping them to become aware of trans issues in our society. I hope that you do not find this game offensive, as I did my utmost to pay respects to Leelah. You can reach me at @MaxPMallory on Twitter if you have questions or comments. Thanks for playing!

What I saw as the solution to everything that had been going wrong in my life was right there, right in front of me, all I had to do was fight for it. But with my parents and an entire organized religion in my way, fighting became less of an option [[every single day|Part III]].

Why is it that when I was born, I was forced to live by the rules of my genitals? Rules that people made up? “People changed lots of other personal things all the time. They dyed their hair and dieted themselves to near death. They took steroids to build muscles and got breast implants and nose jobs so they'd resemble their favorite movie stars. They changed names and majors and jobs and husbands and wives. They changed religions and political parties. They moved across the country or the world -- even changed nationalities. ''Why was gender the one sacred thing we weren’t supposed to [[change|conform]]?'' Who made that rule?” ― Ellen Wittlinger, from the novel *Parrotfish*.

This was the 13th year of my life that I had been fully aware of who I truly was, and the 13th year I couldn't become it. "The criteria includes the individual being pre-pubescent and having intense and persistent distress about being a boy. The distress must be present for at least six months. The child must *either*: 1. Have a preoccupation with stereotypical female activities, as shown by cross-dressing, simulating female attire, or an intense desire to join in the games and pastimes of girls, rejecting male games and pastimes. 2. Have persistent denial relating to their male anatomy. This can be shown through believing they will grow up to be a woman, that their penis or testes is disgusting or will disappear, or that it would be better not to have a penis." - ICD-10 criteria for Transsexualism and/or gender identity disorder, also known as gender dysphoria. Passed. With [[flying colors]].

Independent.co.uk Andrew Buncombe Thursday, January 15th, 2015 A close friend of Leelah Alcorn, the 17-year-old who took her own life after her parents refused her demand to live as a woman, was allegedly prevented from attending the teenager’s funeral. The mother of [[Abby Jones]], Ms. Alcorn’s friend...said the youngster had wanted to attend the funeral but was banned from doing so by Ms. Alcorn’s parents. “Her mom called and blamed Abby for everything that got posted online, even though Leelah’s page was public,” Ms. Jones’ mother, Danielle Pieper-Jones, told the Daily Mail. “My daughter just wanted to say goodbye to her best friend. They did not allow her to go to the funeral…"

"Abby: Thank you for dealing with my pathetic problems, all I did was make your life harder and [[I’m sorry|Part III]]." - Leelah Alcorn

In an interview with CNN, Carla Wood Alcorn was quoted as saying: "But we told //him// that we loved //him// ''unconditionally''. We loved //him// no matter what. I loved my //son//. People need to know that I loved //him//." un·con·di·tion·al adjective \ˌən-kən-ˈdish-nəl, -ˈdi-shə-nəl\ 1. not limited in any way 2. complete and absolute In the same interview, when their child informed her that she wanted to live as a woman, Carla Wood Alcorn was quoted as saying: "[[We don't support that|Part II]], religiously."

Generally a term popular in the United States, "Sweet Sixteen" refers to a girl's birthday party thrown in celebration of them reaching the age of sixteen. It tends to be a significantly important birthday among young women, and usually includes extravagance not typically seen at a birthday party. The significance of the number is a ancient reference to a girl's eligible virginity/marriage age, but in modern times it has carried over to more practical reasonings such as adulthood and independence. Specifically one of the most significant reasons is that most states allow 16-year-olds to obtain their driver's licenses. The term allegedly originates from two places: One being the popular phrase "Sweet sixteen and never been kissed" (again referring to the idea of eligible virginity), and the other being a number of songs from the late 18th century, with the first being James Thornton's "When You Were Sweet Sixteen" from 1898. Just as with other birthdays, it is a day of celebration, acceptance, and love. [[For most]].

transgender [trans-//jen//-der] adjective 1. noting or relating to a person whose gender identity does not correspond to that person’s biological sex assigned at birth: the transgender movement; transgender rights. 2. noting or relating to a person who does not [[conform]] to societal gender norms or roles. 3. a person who is a transgender man or woman.

"The teenager was struck by a tractor-trailer on Interstate 71 about 2:15 a.m., about four miles from home in the tiny town of Kings Mills, northeast of Cincinnati. The Ohio State Highway Patrol is investigating the death as a suicide." - CNN's Ashley Fantz, January 4th, 2015. "...//He// was out for an early morning walk and was hit by a truck..." - [[Carla Wood Alcorn]], 2:56 PM, December 28th, 2014.

<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b0/Transgender_Pride_flag.svg/2000px-Transgender_Pride_flag.svg.png" width="500" height="250"> "The stripes at the top and bottom are light blue, the traditional color for baby boys. The stripes next to them are pink, the traditional color for baby girls. The stripe in the middle is white, for those who are intersex, transitioning or consider themselves having a neutral or undefined gender. The pattern is such that [[no matter which way you fly it, it is always correct|Part IV]], signifying us finding correctness in our lives." - Monica Helms, creator of the Transgender flag, seen above.

"She first identified herself as a gay male," says Azalea Laverde, 16, who went to school with Alcorn and worked with her at nearby Kings Island theme park. "I just knew her as Josh Alcorn until she told me she was going to start going by 'Leelah' on her 17th birthday; Nobody knew." - Myndi Milliken for People Magazine. I wanted them to [[know|Part IV]]. I wanted to make next year the opposite of a sweet sixteen.

Tim Tripp, family minister for the Northeast Church of Christ in Sycamore Township, the church that Leelah's family regularly attends: "Whether the topic is taxes or pipelines, abortion or drugs, marriage or sexual identity, people are most comfortable speaking with those within their walls while taking shots at those on the other side. In so doing they hope to bring change by inflicting injury, a proposition that seems destined to ultimate failure. Meanwhile our communities pay the price." "I wonder if anybody on either side (besides me, obviously) has ever stopped to ask, "What if the greatest problem is not in the beliefs, rhetoric or behavior of others but rather might actually be [[the wall itself]]. I can't help but wonder what would happen if people on both sides of the wall would stop thinking up ways to vent their anger toward the other side but instead just reach over the wall and grab a hand on the other side. Just holding it, not grabbing a hand with the hopes of pulling someone over, but taking time to feel the warm flesh of the other, to get to know them and their story, to try to understand where their hearts are, to accept them even if they don't agree with them. I believe that kind of behavior would begin to melt walls in our communities..."

Taken from whitehouse.gov's Petition program, retrieved on Feburary 16th, 2015. "WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO: ''Enact Leelah's Law to Ban All LGBTQ+ Conversion Therapy'' Leelah explained how her parents had forced her to attend conversion therapy, pulled her out of school and isolated her in an attempt to change her gender identity. 'Conversion therapies' have been documented to cause great harms and in this case, Leelah's death. Therapists that engage in the attempt to brainwash or reverse any child's gender identity or sexual orientation are seriously unethical and legislation is needed to end such practices that are resulting in LGBTQ+ deaths. We respectfully seek your help to ban the practice known as 'conversion therapy' and name the bill in honor of Leelah Alcorn." Total signatures on this petition: [[117334|Part V]]

I'll never understand the mentality of parents that refuse to let go of that which they have created. It was their grip that kept me in check. "Homes that deny transgender identities result in a suicide-attempt rate that's 14 times higher than in homes where such identities are accepted. If you belong to a religion that denies transgender identities and put money in the collection plate or pay your 10-percent tithe, you are bankrolling the slaughter of innocents. You can claim you love LGBT people all day, but as long as you're footing the bill for propaganda that's literally killing children, you are an accessory." - Brynn Tannehill, Huffington Post, December 31st, 2014. This excerpt was published in a [[newsletter]] by the Cincinnati Police Department.

UNION TOWNSHIP, WARREN COUNTY Ohio (WDTN) – The Ohio State Highway Patrol is investigating a deadly pedestrian accident. The accident happened Sunday around 2:20 a.m. on southbound I-71 near the South Lebanon exit at mile marker 28. According to troopers, 39-year-old Abdullahi Ahmed was driving a blue 2006 Freightliner southbound on I-71 when he hit 17-year-old [[Joshua Alcorn|Part I]].

''CPD's LGBT newsletter causes internal rift'' Cincinatti.com Patrick Brennan and Henry Molski January 30th, 2015 Cincinnati Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell is changing the way his department handles communications after a newsletter offended some officers. He issued an apology after receiving three complaints from officers regarding a newsletter that included messages of support for the LGBTQ community. The newsletter also contained criticism of religious institutions that don't embrace the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning community – criticism that came from an article in the Huffington Post that was reprinted in the newsletter. ... "It was a mistake of the mind, not the heart," Blackwell told The Enquirer. "I've apologized because our quality of life and LGBT officers answer to me. We've vowed not to make the same mistake twice." Vance still has the department's support, Blackwell said, adding the positive feedback regarding the newsletter [[far outweighed the negative]].

"People say 'it gets better' but that isn’t true in my case. [[It gets worse|Part V]]. Each day I get worse." - Leelah Alcorn

Reddit post on /r/asktransgender Sometime around October 2015 submitted by nostalgiaprincess "Sorry in advance for the long post, but I [[really need help|okay]]. Hi, I'm Leelah, 16 and MtF/dmab. Ever since I was around 4 or 5 I knew I was a girl, just like most of the lovely ladies on here, but I didn't actually understand that it was possible to successfully change genders until I was 14. As soon as I found out what transgender meant, I came out to my mom. She reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong, and it felt awful. She then proceeded to tell my Dad without my consent, and they were both extremely angry with me. They never physically hurt me, but they always talked to me in a very derogatory tone. They would say things like 'You'll never be a real girl' or 'What're you going to do, fuck boys?' or 'God's going to send you straight to hell'. These all made me feel awful about myself, I was christian at the time so I thought that God hated me and that I didn't deserve to be alive. I cut myself at least once every couple days, and I was constantly thinking about suicide. I wanted to see a gender therapist but they wouldn't let me, they thought it would [[corrupt my mind]]. The would only let me see biased Christian therapists, who instead of listening to my feelings would try to change me into a straight male who loved God, and I would cry after every session because I felt like it was hopeless and there was no way I would ever become a girl. Eventually I lied to them and told them I was straight and that I was a boy, and then the derogatory speech and neglect started to fade. I tried my absolute hardest to live up to their standards and be a straight male, but eventually I realized that I hated religion and my parents. I came out as gay in school, hoping to ease my friends into the whole LGBT thing before I came out as trans. Although my friends reactions were mostly positive my parents were beyond pissed. They took me out of public school, took away my phone and computer, and wouldn't let me on social media websites, so I was out of contact with any of my friends. I was like this for [[5 months]], completely and utterly alone. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone outside of church and I wasn't allowed to be with any of my friends, I just had to stay in my house and be quiet. Eventually they came around and gave me my phone back, but they heavily monitored my facebook/twitter/tumblr profiles in case I did anything "stupid" again. Although I got my friends back I wasn't allowed to talk to them about anything LGBT. Since then, I've been trying to hang out with my friends more and now that I have a car I have more freedom, but my parents never let me around my friends. I've gone out with my friends 3 times in the last year, because every time my parents cancel last minute and make me do something else. It's like they want me to have enough social interaction so I won't forget how to interact with humans, but they don't want me to actually have healthy relationships with people. This feels horrible. The way I feel when I talk to my parents and the way my parents treat me like I'm [[subhuman]] and that my feelings aren't valid all make me think that I'm going through abuse, but I don't know if it counts or not. I'm not physically beaten or hit, but I feel like this is a different kind of abuse, maybe mental or verbal or something. Please help me, I don't know what I should do and I can't take much more of this. I don't know if my problem is serious enough that I can contact authorities for help and even if it is I don't know how much that'll damage or help my current situation. I'm [[stuck|Part VI]]."

5 months is 152 days. 3,652 hours. 219,145 minutes. All without a single person to tell me it's going to be [[okay]].

''SDGLN Poll: Is Leelah Alcorn the Matthew Shepard of the transgender movement?'' San Diego Gay & Lesbian News Ken Williams Top comment, by Facebook account "Annie Davis" based in Cincinatti, Ohio: "I am Frank "Mike" Davis, Next-Door-Neighbor of Leelah Alcorn (and Husband of Annie Davis), writing this Comment: I Appreciate and Applaud Cincinnati Councilman Chris Seelbach's Support of Leelah Alcorn. Leelah went to school with my children, and Leelah expressed her utter devastation when Leelah's parents, upon learning she was 'gay', yanked Leelah from school, confiscated Leelah's cell phone, deleted Leelah's facebook profile, and isolated Leelah within her bedroom. She was no longer permitted to associate with my son who shared classes with Leelah at Kings High School. My son supported Leelah's "coming out" and was one of few people who knew about Leelah's transgender issues. ...Leelah was always kind and soft spoken around me. I deeply regret that Leelah was forbidden to visit our home because my family has always wholeheartedly accepted Leelah without judgment and, maybe...just maybe...[[this tragedy would not have occurred if we could have shown our love and support for Leelah.|Part VI]] ...When the grief has been processed, Leelah's parents need to admit and to believe that they made a mistake, rather than sanitize Leelah's suicide, before any healing and closure may occur within our Community."

Reddit post on /r/SuicideWatch Sometime around November 2015 submitted by nostalgiaprincess "So, I'm not going to sit around and tell you about my sob story, but if you want to know my reasons you can read [[this post|isolating]]. But I don't think the reason I want to do it matters, though. I've been on prozac for about a year, and my dosages have been going up every couple months or so. I'm currently taking 60 mg every morning. I've attempted suicide a couple times before but each time I chickened out. I think I'm going to try again tonight and see what happens. Can someone please give me a reason to live other than the "it'll hurt everyone around you" bullshit? Because I honestly just feel so numb to everything at this point that I really don't see a point in carrying this on. I don't want to die but nothing in life sounds [[good enough to live for|Part VI]] either."

"In follow-up studies, genital surgery has helped some transsexuals live happier and more productive lives and so is justified in highly motivated, appropriately assessed and treated transsexuals, who have completed a 1- to 2-year real-life experience in the opposite gender role. Before surgery, transsexuals often need assistance with passing in public, including help with gestures and voice modulation. Participation in support groups, available in most large cities, is usually helpful." - Merck Manual, 2011. "When patient gender dysphoria is severe and intractable, sex reassignment is often the best [[solution|Part VI]]." - Kaplan and Sadock's Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry, 2009.

"There is no valid scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed." - US Surgeon General David Satcher, 2001 "[My study] shows some people can change from gay to straight, and we ought to acknowledge that." - Robert Spitzer, 2001 11 years later, Spitzer repudiated this study and apologized to the LGBT community. “You know, it’s the only regret I have; the only professional one. And I think, in the history of psychiatry, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a scientist write a letter saying that the data were all there but were totally misinterpreted. Who admitted that and who apologized to his readers.” He looked away and back again, his big eyes blurring with emotion. “That’s something, [[don’t you think|corrupt my mind]]?” - Dr. Spitzer, New York Times, 2012.

"The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to [[mean something|numbered]]." - Leelah Alcorn

"My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and [[fix]] it." - Leelah Alcorn

"Fix Society." "[[Please.]]"

Rest in peace, Leelah. Trans Lifeline: (877) 565-8860 Trevor Lifeline: (866) 488-7386 Percentage of transgender people in the US who have attempted suicide: 41% Estimated number of suicide attempts by transgender people every hour: 11.5 What you can do to help: Donate to the [[Transgender Law Center|http://transgenderlawcenter.org/]], [[Camp Aranu'tiq|http://www.camparanutiq.org/]], and the [[Sylvia Rivera Law Project|http://srlp.org/about/]]. Check out some of the other games in [[#JamforLeelah|http://itch.io/jam/jamforleelah]]!