A Normal Survey

Hello! Welcome to the survey. Please keep in mind that this survey may ask for personal information, as well as questions about your home. You are not in danger while taking this survey, and you are certainly not in danger after taking this survey. Would you like to begin? [[Yes]] [[No]]

What color are your eyes? [[Brown->That sure is a pretty eye color. Now, what color is your hair?]] [[Green->That sure is a pretty eye color. Now, what color is your hair?]] [[Blue->That sure is a pretty eye color. Now, what color is your hair?]] [[Hazel->That sure is a pretty eye color. Now, what color is your hair?]] [[Another eye color->That sure is a pretty eye color. Now, what color is your hair?]]

Would you like to begin? [[Yes]] [[No]]

That sure is a pretty eye color. Now, what color is your hair? [[Black->How tall are you?]] [[Brown->How tall are you?]] [[Blond->How tall are you?]] [[It's dyed another color->How tall are you?]]

Hm, odd. I thought it looked like it was a different color. Might just be the lighting. Anyway. How tall are you? [[Below->Do you feel confident enough to fight off an intruder?]] [[3 ft->Do you feel confident enough to fight off an intruder?]] [[4 ft->Do you feel confident enough to fight off an intruder?]] [[5 ft->Do you feel confident enough to fight off an intruder?]] [[6 ft->Do you feel confident enough to fight off an intruder?]] [[Above->Do you feel confident enough to fight off an intruder?]]

Do you currently have any access to a phone, social media site, or video streaming site? [[I do->Do me a favor and get rid of that. Turn your phone off or exit out of the social media/streaming page.]] [[I do not->Good, good. Very good. Thank you. :)]]

Do me a favor and get rid of that. Turn your phone off or exit out of the social media/streaming page. [[No.->Fine]] [[Okay.->Good, good. Very good. Thank you. :)]]

Fine. Have it your way. Not that it'll help. Do you own or have access to a car? [[I own one->Does said car have a full gas tank?]] [[I have access to one->Does said car have a full gas tank?]] [[I don't own or have access to one->Do you feel safe currently?]]

Do you feel safe currently? [[Yes, I do->Excellent. Has anyone ever tried to break into your home, and if so, have they been successful?]] [[No, I don't->Poor thing. My apologies. Has anyone ever tried to break into your home, and if so, have they been successful?]]

What's your age? [[Below->Race? (for statistical purposes only)]] [[13-17->Race? (for statistical purposes only)]] [[18-21->Race? (for statistical purposes only)]] [[22-25->Race? (for statistical purposes only)]] [[26-30->Race? (for statistical purposes only)]] [[31-35->Race? (for statistical purposes only)]] [[Above->Race? (for statistical purposes only)]]

Race? (for statistical purposes only) [[Black->Are you...]] [[White->Are you...]] [[Asian->Are you...]] [[Hispanic->Are you...]] [[Other->Are you...]]

What's your month of birth? [[January->What's your day of birth?]] [[Febuary->What's your day of birth?]] [[March->What's your day of birth?]] [[April->What's your day of birth?]] [[May->What's your day of birth?]] [[June->What's your day of birth?]] [[July->What's your day of birth?]] [[August->What's your day of birth?]] [[September->What's your day of birth?]] [[October->What's your day of birth?]] [[November->What's your day of birth?]] [[December->What's your day of birth?]]

What's your day of birth? [[1->What's your year of birth?]] [[2->What's your year of birth?]] [[3->What's your year of birth?]] [[4->What's your year of birth?]] [[5->What's your year of birth?]] [[6->What's your year of birth?]] [[7->What's your year of birth?]] [[8->What's your year of birth?]] [[9->What's your year of birth?]] [[10->What's your year of birth?]] [[11->What's your year of birth?]] [[12->What's your year of birth?]] [[13->What's your year of birth?]] [[14->What's your year of birth?]] [[15->What's your year of birth?]] [[16->What's your year of birth?]] [[17->What's your year of birth?]] [[18->What's your year of birth?]] [[19->What's your year of birth?]] [[20->What's your year of birth?]] [[21->What's your year of birth?]] [[22->What's your year of birth?]] [[23->What's your year of birth?]] [[24->What's your year of birth?]] [[25->What's your year of birth?]] [[26->What's your year of birth?]] [[27->What's your year of birth?]] [[28->What's your year of birth?]] [[29->What's your year of birth?]] [[30->What's your year of birth?]] [[31->What's your year of birth?]]

(prompt: "What's your year of birth?", "") [[OK->What time were you born?]] [[Cancel->What's your year of birth?]]

Are you...? [[Female->What is your religion, if any?]] [[Male->What is your religion, if any?]] [[Other->What is your religion, if any?]]

Good, good. Very good. Thank you. Do you own or have access to a car? [[I do->Does said car have a full gas tank?]] [[I do not->Do you feel safe currently?]]

What time were you born? [[1 AM->What color are your eyes?]] [[2 AM->What color are your eyes?]] [[3 AM->What color are your eyes?]] [[4 AM->What color are your eyes?]] [[5 AM->What color are your eyes?]] [[6 AM->What color are your eyes?]] [[7 AM->What color are your eyes?]] [[8 AM->What color are your eyes?]] [[9 AM->What color are your eyes?]] [[10 AM->What color are your eyes?]] [[11 AM->What color are your eyes?]] [[12 AM->What color are your eyes?]] [[1 PM->What color are your eyes?]] [[2 PM->What color are your eyes?]] [[3 PM->What color are your eyes?]] [[4 PM->What color are your eyes?]] [[5 PM->What color are your eyes?]] [[6 PM->What color are your eyes?]] [[7 PM->What color are your eyes?]] [[8 PM->What color are your eyes?]] [[9 PM->What color are your eyes?]] [[10 PM->What color are your eyes?]] [[11 PM->What color are your eyes?]] [[12 PM->What color are your eyes?]]

Does said car have a full gas tank? [[It does->Do you feel safe currently?]] [[It does not->Do you feel safe currently?]]

Excellent. Has anyone ever tried to break into your home, and if so, have they been successful? [[They were successful.->Hmm. Interesting. Are you currently near any doors, windows, or any other form of escape if need be?]] [[They weren't successful.->Hmm. Interesting. Are you currently near any doors, windows, or any other form of escape if need be?]] [[No one's ever tried to break into my home->Hmm. Interesting. Are you currently near any doors, windows, or any other form of escape if need be?]]

Poor thing. My apologies. Has anyone ever tried to break into your home, and if so, have they been successful? [[They were successful.->Hmm. Interesting. Are you currently near any doors, windows, or any other form of escape if need be?]] [[They weren't successful.->Hmm. Interesting. Are you currently near any doors, windows, or any other form of escape if need be?]] [[No one's ever tried to break into my home->Hmm. Interesting. Are you currently near any doors, windows, or any other form of escape if need be?]]

Hmm. Interesting. Are you currently near any doors, windows, or any other form of escape if need be? [[I am->Smart, aren't you?]] [[I am not->Not so smart, are you?]]

Smart, aren't you? [[Actually, I am.->Do you always pay close attention to your surroundings?]] [[Not really...->Do you always pay close attention to your surroundings?]]

Not so smart, are you? [[I am smart, actually.->Do you always pay close attention to your surroundings?]] [[Not really...->Do you always pay close attention to your surroundings?]]

I see. Interesting. I should let you go. You've answered pretty much all the questions on this survey. I just have one more question before I go. [[...Go ahead.->Do you feel 100% safe and secure sleeping tonight?]] [[I don't want to answer any more questions.->I don't care. We're almost done with the survey. Won't you answer just one more question?]]

I don't care. We're almost done with the survey. Won't you answer just one more question? [[I don't want to.->I don't care. We're almost done with the survey. Won't you answer just one more question?]] [[Fine, whatever.->Do you feel 100% safe and secure sleeping tonight?]]

Do you feel 100% safe and secure sleeping tonight? [[I feel 100%.->Thank you for answering all of the questions on this survey. You will be compensated in two weeks time with a special surprise. Sleep tight.]] [[I don't feel 100%.->Thank you for answering all of the questions on this survey. You will be compensated in two weeks time with a special surprise. Sleep tight.]]

|text>[Ḑ̶̣͈̰͉̦̘͉͍̺̤̘̼̅̇͒͐̈̓͊̀̈́͊͛̊̐̚͠ọ̴̧̯̣̘̪̎̀̃̓͒̿̐̄͗̈́̈́̒͊̽n̴̨̡̨̹̜̞̞̪̳̪͈̲͕̤̉̏͐̈́̀͗͐̋̇̅̾̅̈͝͝͝'̶̝̣̟̤͙͕̃́̔̄̄̒͌̈́̈́͜t̷̛̮̦̙͓̤̟͔̟͉͎̙̬̼͎̘̿̉́̓̊̿̓̋̀̚ͅ ̵̨̡̛͈͕̤̯͖̳̞̬̥̹̬̖̟́͋͋̔̍̊̊̅͘͝ḡ̴̢̜͙̭̰͚͕̯̫͖͓͖͆̐̀̆͐̄̕o̸̦̞̍̎̃̈́̚͝ ̵̣̼̪̬͔͙̲̙̓t̴̲̠̜̠̣̱̜̞̮̻̫̩͇̂͋͛̑̃̀̂̄̈́̀̌͘͝ȏ̵̱̞̻̠̗͈́̕ ̷̮̹͐̈́͌͝s̴̰̫͎̻̮̖̝͉̥̮͕͆̑̑̿͆̋̐̔̽̏͐̓͒̆̐͘l̶̙̊͂̅̈́̀̄͌̿͂͗̾͋̕ę̷̜̲̱͎̹̮̳̺̪͎͗̚͜e̴̛̮͕̰̥͕̰͌̏̆̈́͂̓͋̋̇̚͜͠͝p̴̡̦̯̙̭͍̟̪̭̺͚͎̏̃̂̈̅̅̀̓͠] Thank you for answering all of the questions on this survey. You will be met with a special surprise after the survey while you are asleep. Sleep tight. (live: 1.5s)[ (replace: ?text)[] (stop:) ] [[I will->Another time?]] [[I won't->Another time?]]

Another time? [[Sure->Welcome to the survey.]] [[Nah->Another time?]]

Do you feel confident enough to fight off an intruder? [[Yes, I feel confident enough.->Do you currently have any access to a phone, social media site, or video streaming site?]] [[No, I don't feel confident enough.->Do you currently have any access to a phone, social media site, or video streaming site?]]

Do you always pay close attention to your surroundings? [[Always->That'll make this harder.]] [[Not always->That'll make this easier.]]

That'll make this harder. Do you get paranoid easily? [[Yep->As you should.]] [[Nope->As you should.]]

That'll make this easier. Do you get paranoid easily? [[Yep->As you should.]] [[Nope->As you should.]]

As you should. If you were in a dangerous, unsafe, or otherwise life-threatening situation, do you think you would be capable of harming another person, even to the point of, if your life was at stake, killing them? [[If my life was at stake, yes->I see.]] [[Even if my life was at stake, no->I see.]]

I see. Thank you for your patience, we are almost at the end. Does your home have a mirror? [[It does->Do you have any weapons near you?]] [[It does not->Do you have any weapons near you??]]

|text>[Do you see me in the reflection?] Do you have any weapons near you? (live: 1.5s)[ (replace: ?text)[] (stop:) ] [[None->Hm. Okay.]] [[One or two->Hm. Okay.]] [[Several->Hm. Okay.]] [[Too many to count, I've got so many weapons, one might even say too many->Hm. Okay.]]

Hm. Okay. Do you have anything like an Alexa, Google Home, Siri, etc, in your home? [[Alexa->Does your device have a command that you would have to say verbally to call the police if there is an intruder or murderer in your home?]] [[Google Home->Does your device have a command that you would have to say verbally to call the police if there is an intruder or murderer in your home?]] [[Siri->Does your device have a command that you would have to say verbally to call the police if there is an intruder or murderer in your home?]] [[Some of the above->Does your device have a command that you would have to say verbally to call the police if there is an intruder or murderer in your home?]] [[All of the above->Does your device have a command that you would have to say verbally to call the police if there is an intruder or murderer in your home?]] [[None->Awesome! Thanks.]]

Does your device have a command that you would have to say verbally to call the police if there is an intruder or murderer in your home? [[It has a command->Alright.]] [[It does not have a command->Awesome! Thanks.]]

Awesome! Thanks. If you were to wake up tonight with your mouth taped shut and your hands and feet taped together, what would you do? [[Struggle and attempt to get out of the tape, which would be impossible because there are several layers->Are you close with your loved ones, and if so, would they notice if anything happened to you?]] [[Struggle but end up giving up because you are too stupid to figure out how to get out of them->Are you close with your loved ones, and if so, would they notice if anything happened to you?]] [[Struggle but end up giving up because you are either lazy or have no sense of self-perservation->Are you close with your loved ones, and if so, would they notice if anything happened to you?]] [[Don't struggle at all because you know the end is near anyway->Are you close with your loved ones, and if so, would they notice if anything happened to you?]] [[What the fuck are these questions?->WATCH YOUR FUCKING TONE]]

Alright. If you were to wake up tonight with your mouth taped shut and your hands and feet taped together, what would you do? [[Struggle and attempt to get out of the tape, which would be impossible because there are several layers->Are you close with your loved ones, and if so, would they notice if anything happened to you?]] [[Struggle but end up giving up because you are too stupid to figure out how to get out of them->Are you close with your loved ones, and if so, would they notice if anything happened to you?]] [[Struggle but end up giving up because you are either lazy or have no sense of self-perservation->Are you close with your loved ones, and if so, would they notice if anything happened to you?]] [[Don't struggle at all because you know the end is near anyway->Are you close with your loved ones, and if so, would they notice if anything happened to you?]] [[What the fuck are these questions?->WATCH YOUR FUCKING TONE]]

|text>[WATCH YOUR FUCKING TONE] Are you close with your loved ones, and if so, would they notice if anything happened to you? (live: 1.5s)[ (replace: ?text)[] (stop:) ] [[I'm close and they would notice if something happened.->I should let you go. You've answered pretty much all the questions on this survey. I just have one more question before I go.]] [[I'm not close and they wouldn't notice if something happened.->I should let you go. You've answered pretty much all the questions on this survey. I just have one more question before I go.]]

Are you close with your loved ones, and if so, would they notice if anything happened to you? [[I'm close and they would notice if something happened.->I should let you go. You've answered pretty much all the questions on this survey. I just have one more question before I go.]] [[I'm not close and they wouldn't notice if something happened.->I should let you go. You've answered pretty much all the questions on this survey. I just have one more question before I go.]]

Where do you live? [[The USA->What state do you live in?]] [[Somewhere else->What state do you live in?]]

If you're in the US, what state do you live in? If you're not in the US, please pick the last option. [[Alabama->What's your month of birth?]] [[Alaska->What's your month of birth?]] [[Arizona->What's your month of birth?]] [[Arkansas->What's your month of birth?]] [[California->What's your month of birth?]] [[Colorado->What's your month of birth?]] [[Connecticut->What's your month of birth?]] [[Delaware->What's your month of birth?]] [[Florida->What's your month of birth?]] [[Georgia->What's your month of birth?]] [[Hawaii->What's your month of birth?]] [[Idaho->What's your month of birth?]] [[Illinois->What's your month of birth?]] [[Indiana->What's your month of birth?]] [[Iowa->What's your month of birth?]] [[Kansas->What's your month of birth?]] [[Kentucky->What's your month of birth?]] [[Louisiana->What's your month of birth?]] [[Maine->What's your month of birth?]] [[Maryland->What's your month of birth?]] [[Massachusetts->What's your month of birth?]] [[Michigan->What's your month of birth?]] [[Minnesota->What's your month of birth?]] [[Mississippi->What's your month of birth?]] [[Missouri->What's your month of birth?]] [[Montana->What's your month of birth?]] [[Nebraska->What's your month of birth?]] [[Nevada->What's your month of birth?]] [[New Hampshire->What's your month of birth?]] [[New Jersey->What's your month of birth?]] [[New Mexico->What's your month of birth?]] [[New York->What's your month of birth?]] [[North Carolina->What's your month of birth?]] [[North Dakota->What's your month of birth?]] [[Ohio->What's your month of birth?]] [[Oklahoma->What's your month of birth?]] [[Oregon->What's your month of birth?]] [[Pennsylvania->What's your month of birth?]] [[Rhode Island->What's your month of birth?]] [[South Carolina->What's your month of birth?]] [[South Dakota->What's your month of birth?]] [[Tennessee->What's your month of birth?]] [[Texas->What's your month of birth?]] [[Utah->What's your month of birth?]] [[Vermont->What's your month of birth?]] [[Virginia->What's your month of birth?]] [[Washington->What's your month of birth?]] [[West Virginia->What's your month of birth?]] [[Wisconsin->What's your month of birth?]] [[Wyoming->What's your month of birth?]] [[I do not reside in the US->What's your month of birth?]]

What is your religion or spiritual practice, if any? [[Christianity->Where do you live?]] [[Judaism->Where do you live?]] [[Islam->Where do you live?]] [[Hinduism->Where do you live?]] [[Buddhism->Where do you live?]] [[Witchcraft of any kind->Where do you live?]] [[A mix of something and something else->Where do you live?]] [[Agnostic->Where do you live?]] [[Atheist->Where do you live?]] [[Something else not listed->Where do you live?]]

Do you have any weapons near you? [[None->Hm. Okay.]] [[One or two->Hm. Okay.]] [[Several->Hm. Okay.]] [[Too many to count, I've got so many weapons, one might even say too many->Hm. Okay.]]