Hamburger Mode

(set: $ending to "None")Hamburger Mode is (text-style: "underline")[''OFF''] [[TURN ON HAMBURGER MODE|ON]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: "underline")[''ON''] Your computer is now a hamburger. [[Eat Hamburger]] [[Ignore Hamburger]] [[TURN OFF HAMBURGER MODE]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-color: "red")[*''ERROR''*] You nom down on the hamburger. It's delicious! ... You go back to your life. Turns out it's hard to play video games when you eat your computer. {(set: $ending to "Ate Computer") (if: $ate_first is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $ate_first to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: "underline")[''ON''] You know what? Who needs a hamburger, anyways? Lots of people don't even eat meat. You don't know where this hamburger even came from. Yesterday you didn't have a Hamburger Mode on your computer. Maybe it's a trick? Or maybe you just aren't hungry. You ignore the hamburger. It seems dejected. Eventually you realize you need your computer back. [[TURN OFF HAMBURGER MODE|OFF3]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: "underline")[''OFF''] Curious. You turn Hamburger Mode off again. Your computer is a computer again. [[Play Video Games]] [[TURN ON HAMBURGER MODE|ON 2]]

THE END! { (if: $ending is "Ate Computer")[Got the Ate Computer ending.] (if: $ending is "Ignorance")[Got the Ignorance ending.] (if: $ending is "Generic")[Got the Generic FPS MMO RPG ending.] (if: $ending is "Chef")[Got the Famous Chef ending.] (if: $ending is "BBQ")[Got the Barbeque ending.] (if: $ending is "Hoisted")[Hoisted.] (if: $ending is "Police End")[Got the Police ending.] (if: $ending is "Rift 1")[You closed the Rift! Good job.] (if: $ending is "Rift 2")[That was a good game!] (if: $ending is "Gave Up")[You gave up on the passcode.] (if: $ending is "Time End")[Eventually you get out, looking none the worse for wear. The end!] (if: $ending is "Confuse")[... What just happened?] (if: $ending is "Nonsense")[Got the Nonsense ending.] (if: $ending is "Fifteen")[(if: $ending_count is 15)[That's all of them, then.](else:)[Only (print: 15 - $ending_count) left!]] (if: $ending is "Tired")[You got a good night's sleep after that.]} (if: $ending_count is 15)[That's fifteen endings, isn't it? [[A lucky number.]] ](else:)[That's $ending_count different endings seen. $play_count total times played. [[PLAY AGAIN?|Untitled Passage]] ]

Ate Computer Ignorance Generic Chef BBQ Hoisted

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: "underline")[''OFF''] Something nags at you... Where did that button come from? Could it be... But no. That's just a fanciful flight of imagination. Unless... [[Nothing is wrong.|Ignorance]] [[Need to investigate]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: "underline")[''IGNORED''] You ignore the button. Nothing could possibly go wrong. {(set: $ending to "Ignorance") (if: $ignore_first is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $ignore_first to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[(text-color: 'red')[UNDER INVESTIGATION]]] There's something suspicious about this 'Hamburger Mode.' It's not just that it appeared suddenly on your computer, as if it was overnight. It's not just that it transformed your computer, as if by magic, into a hamburger. It's more than that. You've got a feeling, in your gut, that there's something fishy about this. Something's not right. [[And you're going to find out what.]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''OFF''] Now that you've got your computer back, it's time to play some sweet, sweet Video Games. [[Play a generic FPS MMO RPG]] [[Play an indie text adventure|FRUG FROCTIONS]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''ON''] And suddenly, there's a hamburger again. How strange. [[Eat Hamburger]] [[Study Hamburger]] [[TURN OFF HAMBURGER MODE]]

{(set: $mode to (random: 1, 100))(if: $mode is 76)[ [[Begin]] ]} (else:)[<h3>HAMBURGER MODE</h3> {(set: $ate_first to 'true') (set: $ignore_first to 'true') (set: $generic_first to 'true') (set: $chef_first to 'true') (set: $bbq_first to 'true') (set: $hoist_first to 'true') (set: $police_first to 'true') (set: $rift1_first to 'true') (set: $rift2_first to 'true') (set: $gave_up to 'true') (set: $time_first to 'true') (set: $confuse to 'true') (set: $nonsense to 'true') (set: $fifteen to 'true') (set: $fix_first to 'true')} [[PLAY|Untitled Passage]] ]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''OFF''] You hop onto the latest (PICK ONE: Call of Duty/Halo/Tom Clancy's _____/Other) and have a great time (PICK ONE: Getting multi-kills/grinding XP/camping spawns/Other). Eventually, it's time to (PICK ONE: Eat dinner/Run errands/ragequit/Have a life), so you turn it off. That was a great day! {(set: $ending to "Generic") (if: $generic_first is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $generic_first to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''OFF''] You hop onto one of the best sites to download and play indie video games, itch.io. One game, in particular, catches you eye. It is... [[Ridonkulous Rift]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''ON''] You get out a notebook and pencil and begin to scientifically examine the burger. It's a very well-crafted burger. You could learn a lot from it. [[Become world-renowned hamburger chef.]] [[Throw a really good backyard barbecue.]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''ON''] Thanks to the burger, you learn quckly the skills for making a good hamburger. Thanks to the burger, you open a resturant in New York City. You draw millions to you, all to try your magnificent burgers. You're famous, influential. On talk shows and in ads. You even make a cookbook. All thanks to Hamburger Mode. {(set: $ending to "Chef") (if: $chef_first is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $chef_first to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''ON''] Instead of becoming a famous chef, you throw one (1) backyard barbeque for your friends. You make no money, but your friends think these are really good hamburgers. "These are really good hamburgers!" Your friends say. So, in the end, you're back to where you started. Your hamburger switch is off, you're playing video games. But, you feel happy, knowing your friends enjoyed your burgers. That counts for something, right? {(set: $ending to "BBQ") (if: $bbq_first is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $bbq_first to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[(text-color: 'red')[UNDER INVESTIGATION]]] You decide you're going to do some research. After a couple of days of finding nothing, really, you realize that your computer has somehow developed another switch. This one reads "Control Panel" [[Flip Switch]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[(text-color: 'red')[UNDER INVESTIGATION]]] Your computer turns off, then back on again. As it loads, you realize that you're now looking at a control panel of sorts. A control panel for... Hamburger buttons. The only sign of who this belongs to is a small header that says "Welcome, Lord Hoistmas!" It could be anyone. [[Activate All Burgers]] [[View Progress]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''ON''] Curious, you press the button that says "Activate All Burgers" Immediately, your computer activates Hamburger Mode, becoming a juicy, delectable burger before your very eyes. You immediately turn it off, in a panic. Seems that whoever this Lord Hoistmas is, he's got a way to remote activate this mode. Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''OFF''] [[See if anyone noticed]] [[Back|PASSCODE 2]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[(text-color: 'red')[UNDER INVESTIGATION]]] You click on the button that says "View Progress," and are greeted with a stunning sight. A map of the world pops up, with little red dots scattered all around it. The highest concentration of these points appear to be your city, as well as several other major metropolitan areas across the world. If this is real... and you've no reason to believe that it isn't... Then this "Lord Hoistmas" is going to have something to answer for. The queston is, do you inform the authorities? [[Tell Police]] [[Do not.]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''OFF''] You go to the police station, computer in tow, planning on informing them exactly what is going on. But when you get there, you notice that not only has your hamburger butten disappeared... They were waiting for you. Despite your pleas, you are thrown into a jail cell. "Sorry, kid." Says a burlesque cop with a thick mustache, "The Lord doesn't want anyone interfering with his plans before our special holiday." That evening, they give you your dinner. It's a crappy hamburger. You aren't hungry. {(set: $ending to "Police End") (if: $police_first is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $police_first to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[(text-color: 'red')[UNDER INVESTIGATION]]] No, you shouldn't tell anyone. If you really are in some big conspiracy, the police are probably the last people you should trust. You know how these stories go. You go back to the main page of the control panel, and note with a start that there is now a button that says "Cancel the project." You click on it, only to find yourself greeted by a screen that asks for a four-number passcode. [[ENTER PASSCODE]] [[Give Up]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[(text-color: 'red')[UNDER INVESTIGATION]]] Curious, you go upstairs to your neighbor who lives up there, Stanley. He works at a GameStop, and despite your shared interests in video games, the two of you don't get along very well. You ask him if his computer turned into a Hamburger anytime recently. "A hamburger?" He asks, looking really confused, "Is that even possible?" [[Did it or did it not?|Conversation]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[(text-color: 'red')[UNDER INVESTIGATION]]] You're looking at a control panel for... Hamburger buttons. The only sign of who this belongs to is a small header that says "Welcome, Lord Hoistmas!" It could be anyone. [[Activate All Burgers]] [[View Progress]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[(text-color: 'red')[UNDER INVESTIGATION]]] "No, Steven, it isn't possible. That's why I want to know if it happened." "That doesn't even make any sense?" He shrugs, a slight smirk on his face. "But did it happen, or didn't it?" You ask, starting to get a bit exasperated. "I dunno. Why do you have to know?" [[It could be a matter of life or death!]] [[It's for science! (Lie)]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[(text-color: 'red')[UNDER INVESTIGATION]]] "But, Steven." You say, "It's very important." "Uh-huh." He says, rolling his eyes. "Really! It could be a matter of life or death!" He throws you out, muttering something about you under his breath that you don't quite hear. [[Go Home|Backk]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[(text-color: 'red')[UNDER INVESTIGATION]]] "But, Steven," You say, thinking quickly, "It's for science!" "... How?" He asks, shaking his head. He probably thinks that you're crazy, but you press on. "Well, you know that job I just got? We're working on some crazy transmutation shit." "What do you mean?" He frowns. "Well," Your ideas fully materialize in your mind, "We think that some of that tech may have gotten out of hand, so it'd be really great for me if you could just let me know. I don't want it to happen again, or just actually happen to you at all." "Oh." He says. "Well, in that case." His computer hasn't been turned into a hamburger anytime soon, he says. [[Go Home|Backk]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[(text-color: 'red')[UNDER INVESTIGATION]]] Turns out it didn't matter whether or not you went in the first place, because by the time you get back downstairs there's already an article on all the major news sites about how computers all across the world momentarily turned into hamburgers. You aren't alone in your house, though. There's someone... something... else standing there. At least, you think there is. It's shadowy, and you have trouble looking straight at it. But it's there, and you feel incredibly nervous just being in the same room as it. "I..." It hisses, his voice barely a whisper, "Am Lord Hoistmas." [[Run Away]] [[Talk to the Lord]]

Hamburger Mode has (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[Defeated You]] You take a step backwards from this intruder, planning on running away... And you step on the petard that was planted on your floor. Little known fact: A petard is a small explosive that was used to destroy walls and barricaded doors. You would bury it under the ground, and wait for it to explode. However, people would be exploded by their own petard so often that the phrase "Hoisted by your own petard" became a common expression. And you, despite not burying it yourself, have just been hoisted. Good job, mate. {(set: $ending to "Hoisted") (if: $hoist_first is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $hoist_first to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[HOISTED|THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[Threatening.]] "Are you the one behind everything?" You ask Lord Hoistmas. The shadowy figure nods. "I... created Hamburger Mode." It says, hissing, "I never expected you to be the one who would uncover its secrets." "What do you mean?" "Although..." It continues, as if it didn't hear you, "I suppose it's to be expected." "I'm sorry, what?" It looks at you. (You assume. It's hard to tell, it doesn't have any eyes.) "You'll understand soon." It turns, to look at your computer. "Hamburger Mode..." It flips the switch, chuckling to itself as your computer morphs into a hamburger, and back. [[What's it for?]] [[Who are you, really?]] (if: $Ask_Hoistmas is true)[ [[Could you maybe tell me what your favorite combination of four numbers is? Asking for a friend.|Ask]] ]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[Terrifying.]] "Okay, um, but what is Hamburger Mode for?" Lord Hoistmas pauses, and puts a shadowy hand on it's shadowy chin. "Well... There are a lot of different answers I could give to that. The most obvious one is, it's a maniac plan to turn all the computers of the world into hamburgers. That doesn't make much sense, though, does it?" You shake your head. It continues, "I could also explain it as an attempt to show, through the metaphorical example of computers into hamburgers, how attached we are to our physical possessions. Of course, that makes even less sense." [[So, what is the reason?]] [[So, there isn't a reason?]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[Terrifying.]] "Lord Hoistmas is just a nickname, right?" You ask, although you're not sure if your assumptions are correct at all. You're not sure what is really happening here. Hopefully this... being can tell you what the deal is. Hopefully. "You could call it that, I suppose," It hisses, with an amused tone of voice, "I prefer 'title', although that's purely subjective." "So, who are you?" "It's... complicated." [["Try me"]] [[Ask him to leave you alone, you've been through enough shit today.|leave plz]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[Terrifying.]] "Try me." You say, crossing your arms. You've had a very rough couple of hours, and you're not going to be told you're too much of a baby to understand. "Hm. Very well," Lord Hoistmas shakes its head, "I'll tell you a story." "That's not what I-" "Once upon a time, there was a foolish human who played a video game." "What the hell are you talking about?" "The human didn't know what they were getting into. They thought that they were just getting into something small. Insignificant. They thought that it was a joke. But it, and they, were so much more." "Oooookaaay?" You say, frowning. "You mean you played a video game and it turned you into this?" "Video games are bad for you." Hoistmas laughs, but shakes his shadowy head. "No. Not exactly. There was a long, arduous path that led you there." {(set: $ending to "Confusion") (if: $confuse is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $confuse to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[Terrifying.]] "Look, Mr. Hoistmas-" "LORD Hoistmas, thank you." It corrects. "Right, Lord Hoistmas. I think there's been some sort of mistake... I was just trying to figure out why my computer keeps turning into a hamburger." It looks confused. "You mean, you aren't the one I've been seeking?" You shake your head. "Naw, man. Sorry. So, if you could please just leave me alone for a little bit - or forever, that'd be nice, too - I've had a really long day and wouldn't mind getting some sleep for once." "Well..." Lord Hoistmas hesitates, "All right, then. My apologies for the inconvenience." With that, it slides, amorphously, out of your window and into the wind. You never see it again, although sometimes, when an exceptionally strong wind blows past you, you can swear you almost hear it saying in your ear, "Ho ho Hoistmas!" {(set: $ending to "Tired") (if: $tired is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $tired to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] The Ridonkulous Rift. A scientific unlike any other. Some compared it to something out of a video game, like Doom, or Prey. Others called it a new beginning for humanity, and hoped that it would lead to the next big leap in our technology since we ascended to the stars. I thought it'd lead to our ruin. And look where we ended up? [[Fire and destruction rained from the skies]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] (set: $turns_left to 9) Fire and destruction rained from the skies. I watched, both amazed and horrified, as the Ridonkulous Rift high above the alien planetoid spewed molten lava, and the very foundations of our research station, which we had been informed could handle basically anything, buckled under the shuddering earthquakes. I ran through the research station, trying not to look at the dead corpses of my former colleagues. The escape pods were down several floors, and the elevators likely weren't working. I knew I should try to save my hide, but on the other hand that would lead to years of research being quite literally destroyed at the hands of something greater than ourselves. [[Go down the stairs]] [[Go to my office]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] {(set: $cranky to 'saved')} Right, probably better to save my own skin than to worry about some dusty old notes. I bolted towards the staircase, not even bothering to check if the elevator was working (it probably wasn't, let's be honest), and started taking them down two at a time. Not the safest way of doing so, but I had more pressing matters. Halfway down, I was stopped by an elderly colleague of mine, Dr. Rolo. When I offered to help him, he shook his head. "You need to shut the Rift down. It's the only way." [["It's too dangerous. We're getting out of here."]] [[He's right. Go to the control center.|Go to the Rift control center]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] After a deep breath, I turned back and ran down the hallway, shaking my head at my own stupidity. From somewhere distant, I heard a loud crash, and someone yelling some words I couldn't quite make out. Hopefully that wasn't the escape pods. There was a large boulder lying on my desk, and hot air billowed out of the giant tear it had left in my wall. Of course I get the office with the window view. Fortunately, I kept all of the important documents in the wall safe, behind an interactive map of the station. The map was littered with red splotches that meant those areas of the station would be inaccessable. Hopefully there was still a safe way to the shuttle bay. [[Grab the documents and go.]] [[Study the map first, just in case.]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] As the shuttle leaves the destroyed space station, I marvelled the fact that I made it out alive. When we made it back to the capital planets, (if: $cranky is 'saved')[Dr. Rolo finally retired. He deserved it.](else-if: $cranky is 'dead')[We gave old Cranky a proper burial. He deserved it.](else:)[I kept on as a independent researcher, although I stayed well away from anything related to other dimensions.] (if: $documents is true)[I gave the documents back to the company, although I imagine they won't be doing anything with them for quite a while. And if they do, I won't be anywhere near it.](else:)[The company was a bit disappointed that no real documentation on the experment made it out, although I imagine that nobody would want to recreate it anytime soon.] (if: $denki is true)[As we left the atmosphere, the Rift closed. Denki did it. The planet should survive the beating we put it through, although I doubt it'll be habitable for a while.](else:)[The planet was destroyed. It folded in on itself right as we left atmosphere. I imagine that'll be reason enough to never try to recreate the Rift.] That's all from me. I need a drink. Signing off. {(set: $ending to "Rift 2") (if: $rift2_first is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $rift2_first to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] I shook my head. "Sorry, Dr. Rolo. We need to go, now." He frowns, but doesn't argue. Another loud smashing sound resounds through the staircase. We made our way down the stairs, and finally, finally made it to the shuttle bay. The whole station is shuddering now, and a man wearing one of the orange security uniforms ushers us to one of the remaining shuttles. [[Get in the shuttle|Ridonkulous Rift Good]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] I quickly punched in the code for the safe - 0451 - and retrieved the small encrypted flash drive that contains all of the details anyone could ever need about the Rift, both recreating it... and shutting it down. Suddenly, a wild idea struck me. Could it be possible... no. But... if it was, all of this would stop. (set: $documents to true) [[Go to the Rift control center]] [[Leave the station]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] I took a quick second - only as long as I could spare, really - to look at the map of the station. The way to the shuttle bay looked mostly safe, as far as I could tell. I needed to get moving, though. Every two or three seconds, there'd be a large crashing sound and another section of the map would turn to a bright red. [[Grab the files and go]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] (if: $saved is true)[I helped Dr. Rolo get to a shuttle, and](else:)[I] took a deep breath. What I was about to do was really stupid, but could possibly save the planet. Possibly. I made my way up to the control center, relieved to see that this part of the station, apart from the giant glass window being completely shattered into a million pieces, was more or less intact. I stepped over the glass, and to the main console. The physical manifestation of the Rift hung in front of the room, the eerie chittering that always came from it magnified to an angry wailing. [[Activate manual override.]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] Clutching the flash drive tightly, I ran as fast as I could down the stairs, running into the shuttle bay and bolting past the guard, into the nearest open shuttle. He doesn't argue. There's not exactly a whole lot of options left here. [[Leave the station|Ridonkulous Rift Good]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] Lightning fast, I opened the safe - 0451 - and scooped up the small flash drive. I pocketed it in my lab coat and immediately sprinted back out the room, and down the stairs. I barely stopped to look at the dead body of my old mentor, Dr. Rolo. (set: $documents to true) [[Keep running]] [[Wait, no, go back. He deserves a proper burial]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] I kept running. One of the hardest decisions I'd ever made, but I needed to get these files back to one of the capital planets, and that meant getting a shuttle as quickly as possible. When I made it down to the shuttle bay, a security guard wearing an orange suit ushered me into one of the few remaining shuttles. [[Leave the station|Ridonkulous Rift Good]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] I stopped, and sighed. Who cares if it killed me? He deserved better than being left on this derilect station. Heaving him up, I put his frail frame over my shoulders and started back down the staircase. As I descended, I remembered how I and my colleagues used to call him Cranky, because he'd always be on our backs about something... And now I'd never be able to joke with him again. (set: $cranky to 'dead') [[Shuttle Bay|Leave 1]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] Holding the body, I finally made my way down to the shuttle bay. The orange-clad security officer looked a little confused as to why I was carrying a dead body, but after a quick explanation he ushered me into the shuttle as the station shuddered again, more forcibly this time. [[Leave the station|Ridonkulous Rift Good]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] As I stepped up to the main console, I took out one of the three override keys that the heads of the station always kept with them. I opened up the panel that was labelled, with big, red letters, to NEVER touch except in case of emergency. This is an emergency all right. The station shuddered again, and quickly, without hesitation, I shoved the key into the slot and turned it. Nothing. The Rift maybe fizzed a little bit. "It's as I feared." A deep voice says from behind me. I whirl to see the bald viseage of Denki Keng, the man who first discovered the Ridonkulous Rift. "Dr. Keng." I nodded to him, and he grinned. [[Ask him what happened]] [[Ask him how to stop it]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] "What is - what happened?" You ask Denki, and he bites the inside of his mouth, a gesture he does when he's thinking, or upset. "The research station we set up on the inside of the Rift... They went dark not five minutes before this started happening. Whatever's in there, it doesn't like us." "So, why won't the Rift close? Surely it would appreciate us wanting no part in... whatever?" "I wish it were that simple." He sighs. "Unfortunately, if I'm right, the Rift is... well, it's evolving. We need to shut it down from the source." I frown, for a second, before realization dawns on me. "You mean we need to shut it down from inside." "Exactly," He says, holding up his own override key, "This is my mess. I'll take care of it." [[Let him go]] [[Do it yourself]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] "Well, then how do we stop it?" I asked him, and he sighed. "I think, if I'm right, the research station we put up on the inside of the Rift, it's somehow... stopping the Rift from closing on our end." He said, holding up his override key, "I need to go in and close it from the inside." "But that means-" Realization finally dawned on me. Denki nodded. [[Let him go]] [[Do it yourself]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] (set: $denki to true) "...Okay." I said, and stepped aside to let him through. He walked up to the edge of the control center, and somewhere below us I heard a large crumbling sound. "GO!" He shouted, and I started backing up to the door. "Goodbye, Denki." I said, and turned and ran. The last thing I saw was him, jumping. [[Leave the Station|Ridonkulous Rift Good]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] "I'm sorry, Denki." I said, and held up my own override key. "I can't let you do this. It's not entirely your mess, now, is it? Besides, I told you I wanted to do something exciting." He frowned, and opened his mouth - probably to argue - but I had already made my way to the edge of the room. In front of me, I could see the gaping maw of the Ridonkulous Rift, and below, fissures were tearing open the ground. "Goodbye, Denki." I said. [[Jump|Jumped In]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'underline')[''Distracted.''] I told them that the Rift would lead to our ruin. And look where we ended up. But it was also my fault. I should have stepped up earlier. I shouldn't have waited until the last possible second. At least I know I did something about it. {{(set: $ending to "Rift 1") (if: $rift1_first is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $rift1_first to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)}) [[THE END]]

(set: $code to (prompt: "Enter 4-digit code")) (if: $code is "0451")[ACCESS GRANTED. [[SHUT DOWN HAMBURGER MODE]] ](else:)[ [[TRY AGAIN|Do not.]] ]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[Given Up]] You give up on the passcode. There's no way you can learn it. Maybe there's a way you can find it out? But either you have better things to do than put random combinations of four numbers into a computer, or you're just bored. {(set: $ending to "Gave Up End") (if: $gave_up is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $gave_up to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1) (set: $Ask_Hoistmas to true)} [[THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[(text-color: 'red')[UNDER INVESTIGATION]]] Really shut down Hamburger Mode? [[YES]] [[NO]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[Terrifying.]] "Hey, erm, Lord Hoistmas..." You begin, and it raises an eyebrow. You think. It's hard to tell, "I was wondering, do you perhaps have a favorite combination of four numbers that you like more than any of the others? Asking for a friend." "... A friend?" "Yeah, sorry, she's very curious about these things, especially when it's a supernatural being." "Oh," It says, seeming slightly flattered, "Well, if I had to say, it would probably be 0451." "0451?" "Yeah, you see, according to Ray Bradbury, 451 degrees farenheit is the temperature at which paper burns, but I think I read somewhere that it was actually Celsius, I'm not sure." "Okay, whatever, cool, thanks." [[Nice]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[Terrifying.]] Awesome sauce! You got the passcode! You only cheated a little bit! Now, you can either continue talking to Lord Hoistmas, or go back and try to enter that passcode in. Your choice. (set: $Ask_Hoistmas to false) [[Go Back and Enter the Passcode|passcode 3]] [[Keep talking to the Lord|Talk to the Lord]]

(set: $code to (prompt: "Enter 4-digit code")) (if: $code is "0451")[ACCESS GRANTED. [[All of the lights go out.]] ]

Hamburger Mode is (text-color: "red")[*''ERROR''*] WARNING. MESSING WITH SPACETIME IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED BY SEVERAL DIFFERENT BEINGS AND TEMPORAL FACTIONS. IN DOING THIS, YOU ARE SENTENCED TO A PERIOD OF FOUR DAYS IN TIME PRISON. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMPLIANCE. [[Go to jail]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-color: "red")[*''ERROR''*] Man, you're screwed this time, aren't you? You know, I can see into a bunch of different endings, and this isn't even the only one you end up in prison. This is a weird prison, though. Even though you're only sentenced for four days, the time in this place is weird. It feels like you've been here for more than a week, although the clock on your wall says you've only been in here for three or four hours. It's going to be a long stay, buddy boy. {(set: $ending to "Time End") (if: $time_first is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $time_first to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[Terrifying.]] "Well," You ask, pushing your glasses up your nose, "What is the real reason, then?" It sighs, and sits down. On your chair, no less. "Well, you see... It was an experiment." "An experiment on what?" "On fate. To see if our world was really as predetermined as some might say it is." "You mean... like, is there a god?" It shakes its head. "If there is, they're beyond me. No, specifically this instance. If I were to take a period of time, and run through it as many times as possible, how many different... endings, let's say, could I get before events started repeating themselves?" "...How many was that?" Lord Hoistmas looks at you, and you get the feeling that it's examining you throughly. "Fifteen." {(set: $ending to "Fifteen") (if: $fifteen is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $fifteen to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[THE END]]

Hamburger Mode is (text-style: 'shadow')[(text-style: 'underline')[Terrifying.]] It smiles. Or, you get the creeping sensation that it does. Again, it's made out of shadow, and doesn't really have any facial features. "Maybe there isn't. Is there a reason the world exists?" It asks you. "How am I supposed to know that?" "Exactly. For all we know, this is just a computer simulation. Maybe this path is just one out of who knows how many?" "Like in the Matrix?" "Maybe. Or maybe not." "You're not making any sense." Lord Hoistmas shrugs. "I never promised to." {(set: $ending to "Nonsense") (if: $nonsense is 'true')[(set: $ending_count to it + 1)] (set: $nonsense to 'false') (set: $play_count to it + 1)} [[THE END]]

According to good old Lord Hoistmas, you've seen everything this portion of time and space has to offer. You've done many different things, and broken quite a few rules. But I think it's time to stop. There's just nothing else to do, you see. Hamburger Mode was - no, is - a game. A game with a finite amount of content. You can play it again, if you want, but that just seems pointless. Don't you think? There are only so many rules you can break. [[Move on.]]

That's it. That's the end. There's nothing else for you here. This game was made for the amazing (link-reveal: "Wizard Jam 5")[(open-url: "https://itch.io/jam/wizard-jam-5")], hosted by the even more amazing community of the Idle Thumbs podcasting network. Go check it out, there are some really amazing games being made for that. I'd like to thank the (link-reveal: "Idle Thumbs Podcast")[(open-url: "https://www.idlethumbs.net")] for just kind of existing. I discovered them five years ago when I was fourteen, probably a little too young to be listening to a podcast like that, and have been an avid Reader ever since. Finally, I'd like to thank you, the player, for putting up with my ridiculous mess of a Twine game. Who knows, there might be a secret or two you missed? You're more than welcome to [[Play Again?|The Beginning]] Or you could just be done with this. That's cool too. Thanks for playing! -Technomagie

(if: $hidden_first is false)[The underside of this game is a dark place. If it weren't for the torch in your hand, it'd be hard to see.(set: $hidden_first to true) ](set: $inv to (a: "torch")) You're in a dark cave. It stretches out ahead of you and behind you. Ahead goes up, and you can smell the faint smell of the outdoors. Behind goes down. You don't know what's down there, but it doesn't look good. [[Go forward]] [[Go down]]

{ (print: "<script>$('html').removeClass(\)</script>") (if: (passage:)'s tags's length > 0)[ (print: "<script>$('html').addClass('" + (passage:)'s tags.join(' ') + "'\)</script>") ] }

You make your way up the tunnel. It's level at first, then angles up sharply. Eventually it opens up into a cave mouth. There is a small campfire here, with a journal nested next to it. Looks like someone camped here. { (click: "small campfire")[The campfire is old, and the coals that remain have been cold for a long time. Whoever was here hasn't returned for a while.] (click: 'journal')[The journal is empty, save for one phrase at the end. "Seek Hamburger Mode," it says. (set: $inv to $inv + (a: " journal")) Journal added.] } [[Go outside the cave|outside]] [[Go back down|Begin]]

Despite your misgivings about going down the tunnel, you descend. The tunnel goes down at an almost alarming pace, until you reach a large, open space. It's so dark down here that the only sources of light are your bright torch... and a forest of glowing mushrooms, most of which are taller than you are. {(click: "glowing mushrooms")[The mushrooms are a bright purple, a strange color. They're very beautiful, although you worry that they might be toxic.]} [[Push on through the mushrooms|mushroom]] [[Go back up|Begin]]

{(if: (passage:)'s name is "inventory")[] (else-if: (passage:)'s tags contains "showinventory")[ Check [[inventory]]] (else:)[]}

Currently carrying (print: $inv) { (click: "torch")[(display: "torch")] (click: "journal")[(display: "journal")] (click: 'slice of pie')[(display: "slice of pie")] (click: "colorful rock")[(display: "colorful rock")] (click: "staff")[(display: "staff")] (click: "book")[(display: "book")] } (link-goto: "Return", (history:)'s last)

The torch burns with passion. It will light your way.

The only words in the journal are "Seek Hamburger Mode". Perhaps it's something you should look into.

(set: $hidden_first to false) (set: $mushrooms to false) (set: $dog to true) [[Begin]]

(if: $inv contains " spores B gone")[You sprinkle the powder on your nose, just like the strange scholar told you to, and take a deep breath, prepared for the worse. But when you push through the mushrooms, while the do *poomph* up a cloud of spores, you're completely fine. And inside you find... a pointed hat. Strange. You pick it up, and note that it had your name stitched into the inside. [[Take the Hat]] ](else:)[Your worst fears are confirmed. As you push through the mushrooms, they let out a *poomph* of spores. Soon enough, you feel your lungs choking up, and soon enough, you can't breath. You never even learned anything here.(set: $mushrooms to true)] [[Fortunately, death is temporary here.|Begin]]

You leave the cave mouth, and enter a verdant, lush forest. Ahead of you a river winds down a hill, and continues on to what looks like a mill. The other way, up the river, goes up a steep incline to a small bridge. {(click: "mill")[The mill is built right next to the river, the large wheel turning. You can barely make out a fire burning through one of the windows.] (click: "small bridge")[The bridge is built a ways up, at a small point in the river. There's a path beyond it that winds up the mountain, although at that distance it's hard to see much.]} [[Go to mill|Mill]] [[Go to bridge|Bridge]] [[Go back in cave|Go forward]]

You approach the mill. As the paddle splashes in the water, you can definitely hear someone inside, bustling around. You go up to the door, and it swings open before you can even knock. "Come iiiiin." Sings the old woman who opened it. "I know you've come a long way. Or have you? You must be very curious. I'll try to answer what I can. Would you like some pie?" [[Ask her some questions|MillQuestions]] [[You would love some pie.|PIE]] [[Leave|outside]]

You approach the small bridge. (if: $dog is true)[You hear a snarling noise coming from the other side, and as you get closer, you see a mangy, angry-looking dog on the other side. It growls at you as you approach. (click: "dog")[It looks starving. You can practically see its entire skeleton through its skin.] (if: $inv contains "slice of pie")[ [[Feed pie to dog]] ] [[Try to approach|Dead 2]] ](else:)[The river gurgles underneath you, and you look down and realize you can see all the way down to a fairly-sizable town below. You still have trouble seeing what's above, though. [[Go up the path|Mountain]] ] [[Go Back|outside]]

The woman introduces herself as Martha. What do you ask Martha? (link-replace: "Where are we?")["Where are we?" You ask, and she chuckles. "Well, this is a special place known as the Underside. Right now, you're at the mill, and if you keep going down you'll end up in the town." She says. You note that she doesn't give you any specific names for anything, and you imagine that it's very likely there aren't any.] (link-replace: "Who are you?")["Who are you?" You ask her, "What do you do?" "I run the mill. And bake pies. And, very rarely, greet visitors." She shrugs, "I'm not sure what more you were expecting."] (if: $inv contains ' journal')[(link-replace: "What is Hamburger Mode?")["What is Hamburger Mode?" You ask, trying not to laugh at the words as you say them. "Hamburger Mode is..." She thinks long and hard. "Hamburger Mode is a thought. An idea. Whether or not you make anything of it is your own choice." (set: $choice to 'ask') "That's... Cryptic." "Sorry, dear. There's not much I can tell you."]] (if: $mushrooms is true)[(link-replace: "Do you know how to get past toxic mushrooms?")["Do you know how to get past toxic mushrooms?" You ask, "There were some down in a cave." "I don't know much about that myself. However, I do know that in the town, down the river, there's a school full of people who probably could give you something. Might try asking there."]] (link-replace: "What should I do next?")["What should I do next?" You ask Martha, hoping she might provide some light on the situation. "Well, I usually send visitors down to the town, to meet with the creator. He made this land, although he's a bit too shy to actually do anything with it." "What does that mean?" "You'll see. But, I also try to encourage new arrivals to explore. You'll find some interesting stuff, down here."] [[Thank you|Leave the Mill]]

You would love some pie. The old woman, you learn is named Martha, sits you down at a table and gives you a dish of really good pie. Seriously. It's the best pecan pie you've ever eaten. [[Ask her some questions|MillQuestions]]

Hamburger Mode is Still Alive. Despite having the ability to destroy Hamburger Mode once and for all, you decide not to. For some unfathomable reason. Maybe you actually like it? That's banannas. I can't think of a single reason you would. Anyways, I suppose the only thing left to do is [[Play Again|Untitled Passage]]

"Thank you, Martha." You say, standing up and getting ready to leave. "Wait! Just one second." She goes back to the counter and wraps a slice of pie up in a cloth before handing it to you. "Take this, for the road. You might need it." (set: $inv to it + (a: " slice of pie")) [[Go down the river, to the town.|Town]] [[Go up the river, to the cave|outside]]

It's a bustling medieval town! You are allowed in with little problem, and the guards, once they realize you're an outsider, reccomend that you speak with the creator. However, you could also go to the Grand College, as there might be something there that would interest you. [[Speak to the creator|you sure?]] [[Grand College]] [[Leave Town|Mill]]

You hastily unwrap the pie, and throw it across the bridge at the dog. It scarfs it down, then backs away and leaves. (set: $dog to false)(set: $inv to it - ' slice of pie') [[Continue|Bridge]]

You slowly, carefully approach the dog. As you get closer, the growling becomes more, and more intense. ...It lunges and mauls you. Maybe you aren't dead, but without proper medical treatment, you will be very soon. [[Fortunately, death is temporary here.|Begin]]

The pie is made out of meat, which is strange, seeing as the pie Martha gave you at the mill was pecan. No matter. It smells delicious, but you aren't hungry right now.

As you finish climbing the steep path, you notice what looks like a strange altar at the top. You aren't quite at the top of the mountain, but you are as far as the path will take you. On the altar is a strange staff of sorts, wooden, and decorated with carvings in a language you don't recognize, and then a word in a language you do: Your name. Next to the altar is a small stone, that is colored with all the different hues. You pick it up, it looks interesting.(set: $inv to it + (a: " colorful rock")) [[Take the staff]] [[Go back down the mountain|Bridge]]

Are you sure you want to talk to the creator? Once you do this, you won't be able to return. [[Yes|The Creator]] [[No|Town]]

(if: $college_admission is true)[As you approach the college, you are stopped by a scholarly fellow. "I'm terribly sorry, but in order to enter the college, even as a visitor, you must present us with a strange and unusual gift." (if: $inv contains " colorful rock")[ [[Present the rock]] ] ](else:)[You enter the college's main building, which is also a grand library. Thousands upon thousands of books are here, in shelves that must go up for a mile. It's a marvel they don't topple over on themselves. [[Take a book out|books]] (if: $mushrooms is true)[ [[Look for mushroom protection]] ] ]

Hesitantly, you reach out your hand for the staff. You take it, and nothing happens. It feels right, in your hands. (set: $inv to it + " staff")

The staff feels really nice to hold. Almost like it was waiting for you, or you were waiting for it. One of the two. It's hard to tell. You still can't read most of the writing on it, except for your name.

This rock, strangely enough, is colored with a thousand different hues. If you look at it for a long enough period of time, it seems like the colors are shifting. (if: $college_admission is true)[This could be a good gift for the College.]

You give the academic your rainbow colored rock. He looks at it for a long minute before nodding. "Very good," He tells you, before walking away. The College is now yours to explore. (set: $inv to it - " colorful rock") [[Continue|Grand College]]

You decide that you'd like to take out a book. It is a library, after all. After quite a bit of looking around and thinking, you settle on a book about the making of video games. It's weird that such a thing exists in a midieval town like this, but there you go. (set: $inv to it + ' book') [[Continue|Grand College]]

After a surprisingly short time of asking around for someone who knows how to get past giant poisonous mushrooms, you find a young scholar who claims to have done just that. He gives you a special powder he calls "Spores B Gone", and gives it to you, claiming that it'll do you wonders. (set: $inv to it + " spores B gone") [[Continue|Grand College]]

You hesitantly put the pointed hat on your head. It fits perfectly, although you do feel a little silly. (set: $inv to it + " pointy hat") [[Continue|Go down]]

Unsure at first of where to go, one of the many peope milling around the town square eventually sees you, and offers to bring you to the creator's house. It is a small, single-story building in the poor part of town. The creator answers. He is tall, but thin. Completely unassuming. You wouldn't think twice of him if you were to see him on the streets of this fantasy town. He looks completely normal. He invites you in. Sits you down for tea. As you talk to him, he tells you about Hamburger Mode. See, apparantly there was a whole buisness about someone who wanted to see what would happen if they sectioned off a short period of time. According to the creator, this period of time would end in one of fifteen ways. But as the period continued looping in on itself repeatedly, it warped and changed, and became something entirely new. The creator was unsure what to do with this new discovery, and retreated back to this smaller, unnoticable world. Everything in the Underside leads around to a natural conclusion. Except, in the occaision when a visitor makes their way here. (if: $inv contains " staff")[(if: $inv contains " pointy hat")[The creator gestures at your staff and hat. "See," He says, "These are artifacts hidden in small, unnoticable parts of the world. Only an outsider can find them. But when one does, it means something big is about to happen." "What is it?" You ask him, and he shrugs. "I haven't the slightest idea. But whatever it is, we'll need a Wizard to help deal with it." "A wizard?" "Yes." He points at your hat. "You. It's your choice, of course. If you don't want to, you can set the hat down and leave through my back door. Someone will come along. They always do." [[Become the Wizard]] [[Do not|Leave]] ](else:)["You should go back to the right side of the world." The creator says. "It's too dangerous to the code otherwise for you to be here." "The code?" "I'm sure you'll understand soon enough. And besides, who knows? You could always find your way back here again." [[Leave]] ]](else:)["You should go back to the right side of the world." The creator says. "It's too dangerous to the code otherwise for you to be here." "The code?" "I'm sure you'll understand soon enough. And besides, who knows? You could always find your way back here again." [[Leave]] ]

Your grip on the staff tightens, and you nod. "I'll do it." You tell the creator, and he smiles. "Thank you. Now, we have a lot to do..." The end. For now. [[RELOAD|The Beginning]]

You stand up, and thank the creator for the tea. He thanks you for visiting, and gestures to his back door, which he says will allow you to leave the Underside. [[Leave the Underside|The Beginning]]