<<set $health to 200>><<set $career to 200>><<set $money to 50000>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You've been at your communications role for six months now.'' You feel like you're firing on all cylinders. You're in the zone with your work. You feel innovative and creative. You're excited about what your team can do together to impact the world. Seeing how comptent you are, co-workers have started approaching you for advice. You're a great designer and are proud of your work. You received awards at previous jobs.
''You feel like you're getting along well with your boss. ''She's trusted you with some of her concerns about problems in the office. You mentioned how excited you are about the organization's mission and how your design work can help move the needle. You opened up about how what your organization does would've helped your family.
''Your boss has been supportive, but something's starting to feel off'' after you suggested a project management platform for the department. She questions your judgment, especially around design. You start to question yourself daily. She also stops talking with whoever is in her office when she sees you walk by it.
<div class="button">[[Tell your boss how you feel]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Try harder]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Look for another job]]</div><<set $health to ($health-10)>><<set $career to ($career-10)>><<set $money to ($money-0)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You tell your boss you're feeling undermined lately and let her know it's lowering morale for your department.''
''She tells you she understands and it will get better,'' but the next time you walk down the hall to the kitchen, you overhear her asking her boss if he noticed that you seem in over your head and tired lately. She adds that you aren't working as a team player and he thinks you want her job but that your ideas will make everyone want to leave. She said she's concerned about the department.
''You feel confused.''
<div class="button">[[Say something]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Try harder]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Look for another job]]</div><<set $health to ($health-10)>><<set $career to ($career-10)>><<set $money to ($money-0)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You start to believe you must not be good enough for your job.'' You cross your Ts and dot your Is, but nothing seems enough. Your boss picks arguments with you in meetings, and co-workers start to avoid you.
''You start to feel anxious and depressed.'' You have trouble concentrating, wondering if what your boss says about you might be true since your work is suffering.
''The more you try at your job, the worse the mistreatment gets.'' She falsely accuses you making mistakes in front of others. She excludes you from meetings you need to be at. You wonder why you after she seemed so supportive of you for months.
<div class="button">[[Report her to Human Resources]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Quit]]</div><<set $health to ($health-0)>><<set $career to ($career-0)>><<set $money to ($money-0)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You see the signs of insecurity, power, and control and realize your boss is not likely going to change. You know you deserve better.'' You figure out what you want out of life and reach out to hiring managers at places you'd like to work.
''In the meantime, you try to detach from the insecurities projected onto you.'' The emotional labor is tiring. You focus on self-care by walking outside daily and taking a creative writing class. You talk with your partner about the mistratment, but it's becoming draining for them.
''As much as you try to stay focused on the joy in life, the mistreatment wears on you.''
<div class="button">[[Stay until you find a new job]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Quit]]</div><<set $health to ($health+10)>><<set $career to ($career-10)>><<set $money to ($money-0)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You walk in, say you're sorry to interrupt, and ask your boss what she means.'' She explains your work just isn't the same and expresses concern over your well-being.
''You explain you're confused because you just spoke with her about it.''
''But she insists she's worried about you.'' She adds that because she's worried about you, she wants to see all of your design work before it goes out. You question your skills. She also puts you on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) as a way to help you improve.
<div class="button">[[Say you feel undermined]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Thank her for her concern]]</div><<set $health to ($health-20)>><<set $career to ($career-10)>><<set $money to ($money-0)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''Your boss firmly tells you you'll discuss the issue with her later and returns to talking with her boss.''
You feel awkward and leave.
''Later, she tells you not to speak to her like that.'' She removes you from the website project, saying that she's helping you with your workload even though you never expressed a concern about your workload. You wonder if her sabotage and lies are from insecurity or seeing you as a threat.
''You feel retaliated against for speaking up.''
''You notice you're left out of meetings and get-togethers after work.'' Your boss fails to communicate deadlines to you and later says she told you about them in front of the team.
''You can't be sure, but it seems others are avoiding you to not become associated with who she paints as the problem: you.'' You wonder how she's describing you to co-workers, but you know it can't be good. Ill-intended? Incompetent? Whatever it is, no one's questioning it, and it's created a division. You're on the wrong side of it.
''You hear the term "mobbing," and you think, "YES - that is what's happening."''
<div class="button">[[Report her to Human Resources]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Stay until you find a new job]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Quit]]</div><<set $health to ($health-20)>><<set $career to ($career-20)>><<set $money to ($money-0)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You realize your boss can't be trusted.'' You start to check out. You detach from her behavior and remind yourself that you cannot thrive where you don't feel valued. Life's too short to not feel energized, and you won't tolerate the nonsense.
<div class="button">[[Stay until you find a new job]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Quit]]</div><<set $health to ($health-30)>><<set $career to ($career-30)>><<set $money to ($money-0)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You meet with Human Resources, telling them the facts of what's going on.'' They seem sympathetic and tell you they'll conduct an investigation. You feel hopeful.
''But weeks turn into months, and HR does nothing to keep you out of harm's way.'' You know they've spoken with your boss about her perspective, but your co-workers who still speak with you say they haven't been contacted. You followup with HR, but they say they're still working on it. You feel dismissed.
''You approach your boss' boss directly.'' He seems sympathetic but never says he'll step in to fix the situation. Instead, he says the situation will work itself out and that you can revisit the conversation in a couple weeks when you're less angry, even though you've shown no anger. You feel like he would not say that to a man.
''You experience depression, anxiety, and digestive issues''. It feels like the problem is all you can think about.
<div class="button">[[Wait]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Quit]]</div><<set $health to ($health-50)>><<set $career to ($career-30)>><<set $money to ($money-0)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You hang on, but as time goes on, your stress levels increase.'' You vomit on your way into work. You walk around like a zombie at home. You start to have stomachaches and problems falling asleep. Your relationships deteriorate - with your partner and friends - because they don't know what to tell you anymore.
''You DESERVE a safe, energizing workplace. But at every turn, you feel more betrayed and isolated.'' Your co-workers stay away from you.
''You call out sick now and then when your boss amps up the abuse.''
<div class="button">[[Take short-term disability]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Land a new job]]</div><<set $health to ($health-30)>><<set $career to ($career-30)>><<set $money to ($money-10000)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You decide losing your health would be worse than losing your paycheck, so you quit.'' You rely on your partner's income as a safety net. You look for another job. You consider temping.
''At first, you feel relieved.''
''But then you struggle'' to get on unemployment because your employer fights it. You lose your health insurance, and you can't get on your partner's health insurance, so you can't get the therapy you want. Your anxiety and depression feel overwhelming.
''You wonder, "why me?"'' You feel betrayed that YOU had to leave and not the boss who tried to take you down. You have trouble trusting others, especially yourself in seeing red flags in the future.
<div class="button">[[Feel stuck]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Commit to begin the healing process]]</div>
<<set $health to ($health+10)>><<set $career to ($career-0)>><<set $money to ($money-0)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You decide you owe it to yourself to heal from the abuse at work.'' You find other people who've been through it so you can feel seen and heard. You start therapy to understand your beliefs, rooted in childhood, around externalizing approval and look into setting boundaries.
''You also know that no matter what you focus on since you are the only part of the equation you can control, nothing justifies abuse.''
''You slowly realize you are not the problem.'' You recognize the system and toxic work culture that enabled the abuse. You own the facts, feelings, losses, and beliefs around your experience. You grieve the losses. Over time, you know where responsibility lies, learn lessons, and understand you can make decisions that align with your values.
''Does any part of this experience resonate with you? ''
Grab the free [[Re-Claim Your Power After Abuse At Work Roadmap|https://www.dignitytogether.org/take-your-power-back-cheat-sheet]]
or visit [[DignityTogether.org|https://www.dignitytogether.org/targets]] for courses, free peer support groups, other resources, and events.
<div class="button">Go Back to the [[Beginning]]</div>
<<set $health to ($health-50)>><<set $career to ($career-50)>><<set $money to ($money-20000)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You feel stuck in the aftermath of abuse at work.''
''You ruminate over what you could've done differently.'' You feel bitter over the injustice. You feel betrayed by an employer who should've cared about your well-being and a culture that does not put people over profits.
''You feel angry that YOU lost so much:''
Your job
Your achievements and credit for them
Your work toward your goals
Opportunities
Your identity
Your sense of belonging
Your sense of pride, trust, hope, and faith
Your self-worth
Your income
Your lifestyle
Your career
Your co-workers' friendships
Your trust in others
Your confidence in your relationship
Your time spent dealinng with stress and other health problems
Your time spent looking into suing
Your belief in a just world
...while the bully boss got promoted according to your former co-worker.
''You are so sick of people writing the narrative to keep themselves in power.''
''You don't know what will help you feel better.'' You have no job. Your savings are depleting. You don't have the energy or the confidence to look for another job as much as you'd like to. You want to see a doctor about your depression but have no health insurance. Your friends stop taking your calls because they think you just need to let it go.
''You see a list of signs of complex PTSD and wonder if you have it.'' Months become years, and you are still not working.
''Does any part of this experience resonate with you? ''
Grab the free [[Re-Claim Your Power After Abuse At Work Roadmap|https://www.dignitytogether.org/take-your-power-back-cheat-sheet]]
or visit [[DignityTogether.org|https://www.dignitytogether.org/targets]] for courses, free peer support groups, other resources, and events.
<div class="button">Go Back to the [[Beginning]]</div><<set $health to ($health-50)>><<set $career to ($career-30)>><<set $money to ($money-0)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You wait for Human Resources to get back to you.'' You followup with them. Repeatedly. Every time, they have nothing to report back. You don't understand what the hold up is.
''Then you realize they're simply answering to their lawyers, who want to avoid liability at all costs, and you realize you'll likely never get an answer.'' The HR rep wants to help but answers to management, and management doesn't want to admit they harmed you.
''But you believe the employer SHOULD care, so you hold out hope that your situation will change.''
''Months later, HR offers you a severance package in exchange for you signing a non-disclosure agreement for your silence about the abuse.''
''Because you so badly want to make the pain stop, you agree.'' You feel more of a loss when you realize you can't share your story with the press, with your state legislator, or even with your therapist.
<div class="button">[[Feel stuck]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Commit to begin the healing process]]</div><<set $health to ($health-50)>><<set $career to ($career-30)>><<set $money to ($money-0)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''You realize you can't take another day in the office.'' It's taking a toll on your health. You were going into work everyday wondering when the next shoe would drop. And you couldn't take it anymore.
''You go out on short-term disability to get your life together without living in constant fear.'' You seek medical help and setup your next move. You feel relieved that you don't have to deal with the bully but wonder how going out on disability will affect your career.
''Does any part of this experience resonate with you? ''
Grab the free [[Re-Claim Your Power After Abuse At Work Roadmap|https://www.dignitytogether.org/take-your-power-back-cheat-sheet]]
or visit [[DignityTogether.org|https://www.dignitytogether.org/targets]] for courses, free peer support groups, other resources, and events.
<div class="button">Go Back to the [[Beginning]]</div><<set $health to ($health-20)>><<set $career to ($career-20)>><<set $money to ($money-10000)>>
Health = $health | Career = $career | Money = $money
''When you land a new job, you expect the bad feelings to go away quickly.'' But they don't.
You took a pay cut, you don't trust your new co-workers to create a safe space, and you don't trust yourself to see red flags.
''But you've also internalized the abuse to some extent.'' You wonder if you were part of the problem, and you're still ruminating to land on another explanation.
<div class="button">[[Feel stuck]]</div>
<div class="button">[[Commit to begin the healing process]]</div>