Every now and then I scroll through my list of Discord DMs.
<img src="dmlist.png" alt="Discord DM list, names scribbled out" class="center"/>
There's the friends I talk to nearly daily at the top, then friends I talk to less frequently.
Then friendly acquaintances, and people I've done buisness with, people I've had a falling out with.
And occationally there is a "Deleted User"
<img src="user1.png" alt="Deleted User" class="center"/>
You can still look through the old conversations with someone who deleted.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")(link-goto:"->","2")Often times I remember who it was.
More often than not it's simply a friend who made a new account.
<img src="convo1.png" alt="Deleted User: this is a bop. adding this to my playlist slitherpunk: lol nice" class="center"/>
Which, is fine of course, sometimes we want or need a clean start.
<img src="convo3.png" alt="Deleted User: Hey I'm making a new account. A bunch of creeps message me here. slitherpunk: oh yikes" class="center"/>
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")(link-goto:"->","3")It doesn't feel like I've used Discord for that long.
<img src="discordLogo.png" alt="Discord Logo Scribble" class="center"/>
But I have, of course, I've been using it for more than 6 years now.
So it's pretty substantial in the scheme of things. I've certainly had more conversations on Discord now than I had on Skype when that was the go-to.
So, a lot has happened even though it hasn't really felt like it.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")[(link-goto:"->","1")]Then there are the people who have disappeared from online to me.
<img src="convo4.png" alt="Deleted User: want to join my server mostly memes slitherpunk: ohh i dunno Deleted User: https://discord.gg/4aQ8gz8cRs hop in if u want" class="center"/>
I still remember who they were, but I wouldn't know where they've gone.
I'll scroll through the messages and if we talked often I'd think pretty fondly of them.
Maybe if we were closer, though, I would have known what happened and where they went.
<img src="convo2.png" alt="slitherpunk: ^_^ how're you doing? Deleted User: tired. went through a rough breakup since we last spoke. things are much better now though slitherpunk: ooooh phew jeepers" class="center"/>
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")(link-goto:"->","4")Then there are a few people I forgot.
I look through the messages, trying to tell who they were.
<img src="convo5.png" alt="Deleted User: fuck yes sans undertale. i dont have memes on this computer hang on slitherpunk: image of pepsiman" class="center"/>
I see shared "how's it going"s and silly memes. But nothing sticks out to me that gives me a name or a face.
I scroll through the messages hoping that some sort of unique indentifier that will trigger some sort of epiphany to no avail.
<img src="convo6.png" alt="Deleted User: AWESOME slitherpunk: i want her outfit Deleted User: fashion needs to catch up to her" class="center"/>
Unlike the people I remember, there's nothing here that could point me to where they went or what else they were like.
<img src="convo7.png" alt="Deleted User: how's your classes? slitherpunk: mmmm they're alright for the most part. hows yours? Deleted User: fun! except math lol" class="center"/>
I've forgotten about a lot of servers I've been in. There's hundreds of people I've seen or talked to once and never see again.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")(link-goto:"->","5")As far as I can tell, if you close a DM with a deleted user, there's no way to open it back up again.
The memories of these people have somehow already been wiped from my mind.
If I pressed that X, well they would be wiped from my computer's history as well.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")(link-goto:"->","6")I can't think of anything profound to say about this.
It just feels bad to forget who people were.
I can just hope they're doing okay out there.